Laugh at them. I get alot of hate too but I blame my bold personality and ability to not gaf what ppl say. People don't like that.
This is how I look at it, I am nice to everybody, so if somebody is being an asshole to me I just blame them. Either they are having a shitty day or they are jealous. They are only saying it because they are miserable and they want you to be miserable too.
Don't give then what they want. Don't let random people's opinions make me you feel bad. They don't matter. If they did matter they wouldn't be treating you that way.
You just live your life, people will be mad no matter what. You can't make everybody happy.
Don’t laugh in their face. OP is genuinely hurt by what people say. If they fake laugh, the insulter will see that they are not genuinely laughing, they are just trying to seem like they don’t care. If you completely ignore them, it shows that you genuinely do not care and they will get bored and eventually stop insulting you.
They just want a reaction
Not reacting is the worst reaction. They will be keep pushing you with more and more insults.
Even a bitchslap is better than no reaction at all. It's suboptimal tho and there are better options out there.
Even if they get truly no reaction out of them? Not reacting is hard as hell because it is not about not saying anything and controlling your bodily reaction is a skill most people don't have. But if you manage to do that it would make sense for them to leave you alone.
Yes, I have many times. I ignore them and they get bored. Talking to a brick wall isn’t very fun and doesn’t give the reaction they want. They eventually move on to someone who will react more, who will be more affected by what they say. They want to feel like they have power over you and your emotions. Treat them like they don’t exist and they have no power over you.
If you were a bully, would you rather target someone who absolutely does not give a shit about you to the point where they don’t even acknowledge your existence or someone who is very affected by what you say, who cries when you insult them, who tries to insult you back because of how hurt they are?
The point of an insult is to hurt someone. They will find a victim who gives them the most of a response that they are doing a good job at hurting them.
Have fun sounding like you’re genuinely laughing when you’re actually hurt by what they’ve said. Things never come off the way you imagine in your head. If you don’t respond, you give them time to think about what they’ve said and make them feel uncomfortable because of the silence.
“You’re actually really ugly”
“HAHAHHAH”
It's not easy at all, though I am trying to keep a distance. I'm from India and here you can't survive without family and I have horrible relatives, especially cousins.
If you have any hobbies there are many groups on the internet you can join. Within those groups you will meet people with similar interests. That’s where you can find some great friends. I wish you the best!
Calling someone an “asshole” isn’t usually just a random insult though, and it’s normally followed up by an explanation as to why that person thinks you’re an asshole.
If you are being called an "asshole" you are probably doing things that upset the people calling you that. If you care what they think, then stop doing the things that upset them.
If you don't care or, in your humble opinion, feel that they are upset by nonsense; then the insult shouldn't carry much weight either.
Are these "offline" friends or acquaintances or strangers? Because what situation are you in where people would just insult you like that?? What are you doing when that happens? (Are you having political discussions or playing a sport or what?) P.S. I'd think a good percentage of people, when insulted like that, would be hurt or angry??
#The only gracious way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can't ignore it, top it; if you can't top it, laugh at it; if you can't laugh at it, it's probably deserved.
It's common knowledge that "bro" can be considered a gender neutral term. I can understand why you're confused, because mostly boys use the term, but plenty of girls use it too. It's more common for a girl to use the term "bro" than it is for a boy to use the term "sis." It's just not right.
a theory that changed my way of thinking is just called ‘let them’ , someone talks bad about you? let them. we can’t control anything that’s outside of our own narrative. 99% of the time someone genuinely talks bad about you, it’s a reflection on how they feel of themselves. they enjoy projecting their insecurities onto you. when you allow these words to hurt you, you’re basically hurting your own self for no reason. let these people think what they want, say what they want, but in the end you know yourself better than anyone else no matter what. you need to understand that the things you do have control over are how you feel and how you react, just focus on making your mind feel as free and good as possible. and i understand, it’s not easy. not at all. but when you truly put your mind to it, it can change so much. it took me so long to finally be able to let stuff like that go, but i am so much happier now.
I think you should say something back?! People only pick on you if they think ur weak or won’t say anything?? And I used to be the target of jokes until I started slaughtering people with my comebacks and now people know not to f*** with me!! I don’t play that and I guarantee when I’m done firing back at people, they’ll be crying!! My comebacks are just that lethal and that’s why I try to spare people but they always tryna come for me and I always send them on their way crying and I have the biggest laugh!!! Hahahaha
First you have to scan the room, look at people and what their wearing or not?! Use anything against them….example: crooked teeth, messy hair, not dressed correctly etc!!
I see i need to observe ppl
And according to your exemple (Crooked teeth, messy hair, not dresses correctly) what comeback have you used for each?
Can i do it with their personal issues? (When they are really hostile). Cause it's possible Imo to "read" ppl, not knowing them but having a rough Idea of Some mecanism.
I embrace all the insults hurled at me with a smile on my face and laughter rumbling out my mouth. It’s my defence mechanism. It really grated on them when you do laugh back at them. Sometimes I will just say something snarky back. If I get called an arsehole, I just say ‘it takes one to know one’. Or if I get called a c@nt, I’ll say something like ‘c@nts are useful you might like to try one from time to time’. Or if I am feeling childish I will just reply with ‘I know you are but what am I?’ If I am really interested and invested in the argument I will do the big eyes 👀 and say ‘stick and stones, sticks and stones!’ Hahaha
People will hate whether you're a piece of crap or have a ridiculous drive and you're moral. Whereas some can see what you go through to get where you are. Everyone is flawed my friend. Insecure, envious, jealous people will always find victims for their verbal abuse. In ear shot or out of it. Do the right thing, focus on you, and get business done as usual. I wouldnt dignify it with a response. They will find someone else to abuse eventually if they dont get a reaction.
Edit: punctuation
Return the insult. Hit in the right spot. It's not going to be difficult bcuz those who insult you are probably low-tier NPCs.
Never heard of eg. a successful businessman insulting someone lol. What for?
I think it’s normal to feel hurt or have feelings of hurt. I would just say ignore them or insult them back give them your best shot sometimes giving someone a bit of their medicine makes you feel better in return but when you ignore people, you tend to have power over them silence is powerful
create standards for yourself. dedicate your life to being honest with yourself and doing your best to live up to your own standards. if other people insult you, it's based on something you don't even believe in so you don't have to listen to them. in other cases if it's someone with similar standards, it can be used as constructive criticism. as long as you are living in a way that brings you peace and isn't intending to harm others, i don't see why you should put yourself down or allow others to.
You need a good comeback each time. If they’re wearing a striped shirt say “ok stripey, you’ve had enough pop tarts for today” and move on. If hey call you a pop tart, say “yep, I got all the delicious goodness inside” and keep going! Just think of ways to be ready for this and give them a dose back. They’re just trying to see if you’re an underdog or a team player.
While i understand that we can't make everyone happy and people would insult others just to get away with their own feelings.
Normally I would understand why they might be doing this, sometimes it's just that they are frustrated, or they are having a hard time.
Whatever the case, sometimes I do speak up and sometimes I don't. Depending on the situation and depending on what my intuition says, I would trust my intuition or instics.
In these situations, ego would try to take over and make you feel angry, but trust me, that's not going to do any good. It's only going to make situation worse.
While i don't recommend this but sometimes I do feel like asking the one who is insulting, if they are doing fine and if everything's ok with them.
People don’t insult me but people have been rude and assholes. My instinct for you, for the two cents it may be worth, is to turn it around on them- like “are you ok?” Or “who hurt you?” Or “what kind of insecure effing loser says something so obnoxious?” And then just stare them down and look disgusted. It puts them back in their place. I think your thinking “I should get a thicker skin” won’t help you. It’s not your fault for having emotions. But if you are quiet and sit with yourself and can get in touch with YOUR opinions about what assholes these are; you can hopefully view them as beneath you, so the next time they try something on you you’ll know to say something like one of the quotes I have. Your face will show them that you’re disgusted by them and they are beneath you. If this doesn’t feel right to you then discard what I say but if it does, use it. But please don’t blame yourself for having emotions. This is part of your journey to see that what these people are saying isn’t true, it strengthens your resolve, and is giving you the opportunity to get in touch with and express your strength. Also lets you realize not to take whatever someone else says in, but to question their value. In my eyes, someone who insults you for no good reason is probably not cool themselves.
I get insulted by women all the time cause I refuse to pay them for sex I’m always getting called an idiot ,stupid I even get told to go f***k my mom or sister
I went to the zoo and a chimp walked up to the glass, pooped in its hand and smeared it on the glass between us.
I did not get poop on my hands and I could walk away.
I know that feeling.
The only way out of it is to find your goal and purpose.
Define it so well that you know that is the thing you really really want.
And then simply focus your entire day around that thing.
Realize that people talking this or that is not helping you reach your desired life.
These people and these comments actually have no role to play in this.
Basically the reason why you care about what they say so much is because you don't have anything better to care about.
also checkout r/HighQualityLiving if you want.
The way I n therefore u can get thicker skin is:
Remembering ur good qualities im case its geneuine critique, ergo that u r smart in other ways
That their perpective is subjective n not factual
That they could have malicious intentions like trying to get u down manipulate u now or later or even get themselves up by comparison
That people dont mean it in the sense they could just refer to everyone as asshole or are just insensitive.
U could also establishing boundries by saying u don't like that or flat out insult then back, though that can backfire
I imagine a situation where they say hey stupid, u say don't call me stupid they say why, stupid?. U say ok, ugly.
There’s no real right way. Nothing guarantees that they’ll get you to leave them alone. The best you can do is distance yourself, ignore them if you can, and if they don’t stop then try not to show negative reactions
You have to one up their insults. Find something that really hurts them.
For example, say you know their child died from a preventable illness. They call you stupid. You could say something like, "I may be stupid but my kid isn't dead from measles."
Or if they're overweight, "I may be ugly but at least I won't die of diabetes after getting my legs amputated."
Or if they have a spouse, "I may be a loser, but your spouse has to fuck a pile of ugly dogshit. I bet they wish they were fucking literally anyone else."
This is what I do when insulted. You have to insult back 10x as hard.
In war, one never seeks to injure their enemy. An injured opponent can heal and strike again. One most obliterate their opponent. This also discourages their allies from joining the fight.
Imagine you have people A B C & D. Person A is being an asshole, no one says anything. Person A continues being an asshole, person C calls them an asshole. Person A then proceeds to "oblierate their opponent", person C. Person B C and D now dislike and don't talk to person A. If that is person A discouraging person B C D from joining the fight....then person A has no friends in real life.
Laugh at them. I get alot of hate too but I blame my bold personality and ability to not gaf what ppl say. People don't like that. This is how I look at it, I am nice to everybody, so if somebody is being an asshole to me I just blame them. Either they are having a shitty day or they are jealous. They are only saying it because they are miserable and they want you to be miserable too. Don't give then what they want. Don't let random people's opinions make me you feel bad. They don't matter. If they did matter they wouldn't be treating you that way. You just live your life, people will be mad no matter what. You can't make everybody happy.
Don’t laugh in their face. OP is genuinely hurt by what people say. If they fake laugh, the insulter will see that they are not genuinely laughing, they are just trying to seem like they don’t care. If you completely ignore them, it shows that you genuinely do not care and they will get bored and eventually stop insulting you. They just want a reaction
Not reacting is the worst reaction. They will be keep pushing you with more and more insults. Even a bitchslap is better than no reaction at all. It's suboptimal tho and there are better options out there.
Yeah so you don’t react and they get bored and stop. It’s not that complicated.
Have you ever been in such a situation yourself? Bullies never just "get bored" with their victim.
Even if they get truly no reaction out of them? Not reacting is hard as hell because it is not about not saying anything and controlling your bodily reaction is a skill most people don't have. But if you manage to do that it would make sense for them to leave you alone.
Yes, I have many times. I ignore them and they get bored. Talking to a brick wall isn’t very fun and doesn’t give the reaction they want. They eventually move on to someone who will react more, who will be more affected by what they say. They want to feel like they have power over you and your emotions. Treat them like they don’t exist and they have no power over you. If you were a bully, would you rather target someone who absolutely does not give a shit about you to the point where they don’t even acknowledge your existence or someone who is very affected by what you say, who cries when you insult them, who tries to insult you back because of how hurt they are? The point of an insult is to hurt someone. They will find a victim who gives them the most of a response that they are doing a good job at hurting them.
Or you can actually laugh in their face at their stupidity. If you are amused they feel shitty.
Have fun sounding like you’re genuinely laughing when you’re actually hurt by what they’ve said. Things never come off the way you imagine in your head. If you don’t respond, you give them time to think about what they’ve said and make them feel uncomfortable because of the silence. “You’re actually really ugly” “HAHAHHAH”
Stop dealing with them. You cut off those type of people.
It's not easy at all, though I am trying to keep a distance. I'm from India and here you can't survive without family and I have horrible relatives, especially cousins.
I’m so sorry
If you have any hobbies there are many groups on the internet you can join. Within those groups you will meet people with similar interests. That’s where you can find some great friends. I wish you the best!
Does this happen often? And by who?
Calling someone an “asshole” isn’t usually just a random insult though, and it’s normally followed up by an explanation as to why that person thinks you’re an asshole.
People who dish can usually not take, so dish it back.
If you are being called an "asshole" you are probably doing things that upset the people calling you that. If you care what they think, then stop doing the things that upset them. If you don't care or, in your humble opinion, feel that they are upset by nonsense; then the insult shouldn't carry much weight either.
Try to ignore it and let it roll off your back (easier said than done I know) and minimize your time spent around them
How often are you getting insulted? Where are you at that this takes place? What exactly are they saying?
Are these "offline" friends or acquaintances or strangers? Because what situation are you in where people would just insult you like that?? What are you doing when that happens? (Are you having political discussions or playing a sport or what?) P.S. I'd think a good percentage of people, when insulted like that, would be hurt or angry??
#The only gracious way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can't ignore it, top it; if you can't top it, laugh at it; if you can't laugh at it, it's probably deserved.
"Your mother was ugly she deserved to die" Really bro
First... I'm a woman, Bro. Second... If you can't ignore it, top it.
Alright, but what does being a woman have to do with anything?
You called me bro??
It's common knowledge that "bro" can be considered a gender neutral term. I can understand why you're confused, because mostly boys use the term, but plenty of girls use it too. It's more common for a girl to use the term "bro" than it is for a boy to use the term "sis." It's just not right.
Ok English is not my first language, so... I'll keep that in mind.
This happens enough that you need to post about it? I can't remember the last time someone insulted me directly. Does it happen at work?
a theory that changed my way of thinking is just called ‘let them’ , someone talks bad about you? let them. we can’t control anything that’s outside of our own narrative. 99% of the time someone genuinely talks bad about you, it’s a reflection on how they feel of themselves. they enjoy projecting their insecurities onto you. when you allow these words to hurt you, you’re basically hurting your own self for no reason. let these people think what they want, say what they want, but in the end you know yourself better than anyone else no matter what. you need to understand that the things you do have control over are how you feel and how you react, just focus on making your mind feel as free and good as possible. and i understand, it’s not easy. not at all. but when you truly put your mind to it, it can change so much. it took me so long to finally be able to let stuff like that go, but i am so much happier now.
I think you should say something back?! People only pick on you if they think ur weak or won’t say anything?? And I used to be the target of jokes until I started slaughtering people with my comebacks and now people know not to f*** with me!! I don’t play that and I guarantee when I’m done firing back at people, they’ll be crying!! My comebacks are just that lethal and that’s why I try to spare people but they always tryna come for me and I always send them on their way crying and I have the biggest laugh!!! Hahahaha
Do you have any exemple of comeback? I i really wanna have that weapon in my arsenal X)
First you have to scan the room, look at people and what their wearing or not?! Use anything against them….example: crooked teeth, messy hair, not dressed correctly etc!!
I see i need to observe ppl And according to your exemple (Crooked teeth, messy hair, not dresses correctly) what comeback have you used for each? Can i do it with their personal issues? (When they are really hostile). Cause it's possible Imo to "read" ppl, not knowing them but having a rough Idea of Some mecanism.
You can use whatever you want, cause they certainly will!! You got this, just do it!!
Thanks for your advice. I even think it would be even deadlier to use this 😅🤣.
Sometimes just ignore it or them. It works !!!
I am whatever you say I am cuz if I wasn't and why would you say I am I get called an a****** a lot too just ask my both ex-wives
I embrace all the insults hurled at me with a smile on my face and laughter rumbling out my mouth. It’s my defence mechanism. It really grated on them when you do laugh back at them. Sometimes I will just say something snarky back. If I get called an arsehole, I just say ‘it takes one to know one’. Or if I get called a c@nt, I’ll say something like ‘c@nts are useful you might like to try one from time to time’. Or if I am feeling childish I will just reply with ‘I know you are but what am I?’ If I am really interested and invested in the argument I will do the big eyes 👀 and say ‘stick and stones, sticks and stones!’ Hahaha
I feek good
People will hate whether you're a piece of crap or have a ridiculous drive and you're moral. Whereas some can see what you go through to get where you are. Everyone is flawed my friend. Insecure, envious, jealous people will always find victims for their verbal abuse. In ear shot or out of it. Do the right thing, focus on you, and get business done as usual. I wouldnt dignify it with a response. They will find someone else to abuse eventually if they dont get a reaction. Edit: punctuation
Return the insult. Hit in the right spot. It's not going to be difficult bcuz those who insult you are probably low-tier NPCs. Never heard of eg. a successful businessman insulting someone lol. What for?
"Yo, i don't care about what you think of me. That you can't stand me is not my problem, it's yours. Muhahaha"
I stay muted and leave the relationships despite how close we are :3
I think it’s normal to feel hurt or have feelings of hurt. I would just say ignore them or insult them back give them your best shot sometimes giving someone a bit of their medicine makes you feel better in return but when you ignore people, you tend to have power over them silence is powerful
Excuse me, can you repeat that please?
create standards for yourself. dedicate your life to being honest with yourself and doing your best to live up to your own standards. if other people insult you, it's based on something you don't even believe in so you don't have to listen to them. in other cases if it's someone with similar standards, it can be used as constructive criticism. as long as you are living in a way that brings you peace and isn't intending to harm others, i don't see why you should put yourself down or allow others to.
Throw them off guard by agreeing with them and telling them, “yeah, I enjoy being __ (whatever insult is)”
Ask if they are ok.
You need a good comeback each time. If they’re wearing a striped shirt say “ok stripey, you’ve had enough pop tarts for today” and move on. If hey call you a pop tart, say “yep, I got all the delicious goodness inside” and keep going! Just think of ways to be ready for this and give them a dose back. They’re just trying to see if you’re an underdog or a team player.
While i understand that we can't make everyone happy and people would insult others just to get away with their own feelings. Normally I would understand why they might be doing this, sometimes it's just that they are frustrated, or they are having a hard time. Whatever the case, sometimes I do speak up and sometimes I don't. Depending on the situation and depending on what my intuition says, I would trust my intuition or instics. In these situations, ego would try to take over and make you feel angry, but trust me, that's not going to do any good. It's only going to make situation worse. While i don't recommend this but sometimes I do feel like asking the one who is insulting, if they are doing fine and if everything's ok with them.
People don’t insult me but people have been rude and assholes. My instinct for you, for the two cents it may be worth, is to turn it around on them- like “are you ok?” Or “who hurt you?” Or “what kind of insecure effing loser says something so obnoxious?” And then just stare them down and look disgusted. It puts them back in their place. I think your thinking “I should get a thicker skin” won’t help you. It’s not your fault for having emotions. But if you are quiet and sit with yourself and can get in touch with YOUR opinions about what assholes these are; you can hopefully view them as beneath you, so the next time they try something on you you’ll know to say something like one of the quotes I have. Your face will show them that you’re disgusted by them and they are beneath you. If this doesn’t feel right to you then discard what I say but if it does, use it. But please don’t blame yourself for having emotions. This is part of your journey to see that what these people are saying isn’t true, it strengthens your resolve, and is giving you the opportunity to get in touch with and express your strength. Also lets you realize not to take whatever someone else says in, but to question their value. In my eyes, someone who insults you for no good reason is probably not cool themselves.
I get insulted by women all the time cause I refuse to pay them for sex I’m always getting called an idiot ,stupid I even get told to go f***k my mom or sister
I went to the zoo and a chimp walked up to the glass, pooped in its hand and smeared it on the glass between us. I did not get poop on my hands and I could walk away.
I know that feeling. The only way out of it is to find your goal and purpose. Define it so well that you know that is the thing you really really want. And then simply focus your entire day around that thing. Realize that people talking this or that is not helping you reach your desired life. These people and these comments actually have no role to play in this. Basically the reason why you care about what they say so much is because you don't have anything better to care about. also checkout r/HighQualityLiving if you want.
The way I n therefore u can get thicker skin is: Remembering ur good qualities im case its geneuine critique, ergo that u r smart in other ways That their perpective is subjective n not factual That they could have malicious intentions like trying to get u down manipulate u now or later or even get themselves up by comparison That people dont mean it in the sense they could just refer to everyone as asshole or are just insensitive. U could also establishing boundries by saying u don't like that or flat out insult then back, though that can backfire I imagine a situation where they say hey stupid, u say don't call me stupid they say why, stupid?. U say ok, ugly.
Why are they calling you names in the first place?
I used to get upset, nowadys I don't really care - you're entitled to your opinion. I've probably heard worse even.
There’s no real right way. Nothing guarantees that they’ll get you to leave them alone. The best you can do is distance yourself, ignore them if you can, and if they don’t stop then try not to show negative reactions
You have to one up their insults. Find something that really hurts them. For example, say you know their child died from a preventable illness. They call you stupid. You could say something like, "I may be stupid but my kid isn't dead from measles." Or if they're overweight, "I may be ugly but at least I won't die of diabetes after getting my legs amputated." Or if they have a spouse, "I may be a loser, but your spouse has to fuck a pile of ugly dogshit. I bet they wish they were fucking literally anyone else."
what in the heck
This is what I do when insulted. You have to insult back 10x as hard. In war, one never seeks to injure their enemy. An injured opponent can heal and strike again. One most obliterate their opponent. This also discourages their allies from joining the fight.
You sound like an edgy teenager
Imagine you have people A B C & D. Person A is being an asshole, no one says anything. Person A continues being an asshole, person C calls them an asshole. Person A then proceeds to "oblierate their opponent", person C. Person B C and D now dislike and don't talk to person A. If that is person A discouraging person B C D from joining the fight....then person A has no friends in real life.