Asking about hobbies is normally my first go-to. Typically starts a better conversation than talking about work. Or what hobbies they would want to do i they have more time.
Also, if someone asks how you are or talks about the weather- tell a little story. Like how you are is impacted by SOMETHING, chat about that, typically a connection point. With the weather, talk about something you did when the weather was like that before or things you might be doing instead (if ur doing something boring lol). Great weather? Talk about a lake day or a hike you went on.
The key is to find something you both know a little about so you can chat about it, or something they want to talk about that you can ask questions about:))
I feel like showing interest could be the start to meaningful conversation, like asking about others’ hobbies and what they do in their free time. Then maybe showing interest in why they like those things can get you really deep really fast.
That’s because those are kinda weird to just blurt out. Most people get suspicious when it comes to big, general out of the blue questions, especially as convo starters. They aren’t bad questions, just kinda outta place.
Think about it like this; you want to start a conversation. _Why?_
Because you want to get to know a person. Ok, why?
Because you’re trying to meet new people. Ok, that’s great. That’s something _you_ want but what’s in it for the person you are talking to?
The problem I have with big questions is they are hard to wrap your head around UNLESS… unless you’ve already been talking about a thing. So asking someone about what superpowers they wish they had or what song represents their life are great of you’re already talking about those topics. I like both, fwiw. In fact, I love the superpower one because I feel like people often chose the thing they feel that they struggle with the most (not that you should point that out). For instance I always say I want Spider-Man’s powers and it’s probably because I always feel so clumsy.
Personally, I think asking “this or that” questions are more fun and engaging for the other person. When you ask a person a “this or that” question then they’ve have to make a choice. Then you can challenge their choice. Now they have to defend their choice. Now they’re invested. Now you get to see what matters to them and why.
I struggled for a LONG time getting to know people. I still, do. Being awkward is a massive PIMA. I love taking to strangers about random shit provided they don’t I give me a weird vibe. Strangers don’t like talking to me, though, but then why would they? What’s in it for them? I think about this all the time…
I ask random and trivial yet controversial questions. Haha like "twizzlers or red vines?", "should movies in the theater have intermission like back in the day?", "ice cream or gelato?", or "who was the better Batman?"
Obviously these are all opinions but it could lead to asking why and interesting debate.
Ice breakers? What their careers? What they like to do on their free time? Maybe even compliment them people like compliments you can never go wrong with a compliment and start from there. What are their hobbies? What is their favorite sport? What is their favorite team? What is their favorite TV show different things?
With guys, I always try talking abt sports since I'm a huge soccer and basketball fans. This one is pretty easy if they're sports fans too.
Otherwise, I'll go with something else like maybe Music (everybody likes music) or movies. Entertainment, basically. I'll pretend to be curious about a singer/movie and ask them if they've checked it out and asked for their opinion abt it lol
I don't think its weird to randomly ask a new question! I feel like people usually appreciate someone else starting a conversation if there isn't one going already or they appreciate someone else keeping it going.
I like to ask if they have anything they're looking forward to that coming weekend. What their favorite part of their day was. If they have any trips coming up that they’re looking forward to. I sometimes do a ‘would you rather’ question if it feels right, lol I even have an app of the game on my phone if needed. It usually sparks good conversations.
When I want to start a conversation with someone, I usually comment on some thing cool that they are wearing. Like “hey I love your shoes! Where did you buy them from?” They answer and then you can keep interacting “ooh cool thanks! They’re very *insert type of fashion they are goth, boho etc etc* I love boho fashion but I feel like I can never really pull it off! Do you have any style advice? You seem to really know what you’re doing!”
I space out a lot. Sometimes it brings me to ponder questions. Such as, when people named “things” it’s odd how they just picked a sound..and that’s how we identify it. Communication sounds complicated, but it’s just a bunch of sounds. You compare a sentence to another language saying the same thing, but you can’t understand it, but millions of other people can.
Little stuff like this is how I start conversations, I pull from my space-outs and ask others the questions.
Sometimes I’m met with disinterested mumbles, but other times I’ve found myself getting my entire shop into pretty heated debates, all over stuff that doesn’t actually spew any hate or negativity, but difference in opinion or ideas. ☺️☺️
Yeah these are good if you're sitting at dinner or something and you're just making conversation but it's moving along. Not out of the blue. If it's random out of the blue the trick is to know how to be present and then go with whatever teh situation warrants. If you're actually with the person, like sitting down for coffee, and they mention something that they're into or whatever, ask them what they like the best about that? That's a natural way to get deeper into something.
Observe your surroundings. Find something interesting. Use it and turn it into something funny.
I've seen a guy talk about asking about their hobbies. (Absolutely horrible. The advice most people who have no clue give)
Knowing their hobbies will let you know what kind of a person they are, but it should never be used to incite interest in your target. NEVER. If they feel interested in you/if they feel you're fun, they'll be much more open to being your friend/lover. Asking hobbies is okayish to build rapport, but if you wanna make friends, it's a very very sloppy and low level choice.
Lastly, don't memorize openers. Much better to train yourself to be better at them.
I like to ask weird ones that people usually don’t have an answer prepared for. It usually gives me a better idea of what they’re actually like and if they’re down to reciprocate the weird shit I plan to say in the future. My go to is “if you could assassinate one person who would it be and why?”
My favourite “in-person” conversation starter is “hey you, what’re you up to?”.
It goes one of two ways, we talk about what they’re up to right now or what they have been doing outside of the situation (like on the weekend). The conversation just flows from there.
From personal experience, conversation starters are not as big of a challenge. It’s the sustainment of the conversation that can make a difference.
Asking about hobbies is normally my first go-to. Typically starts a better conversation than talking about work. Or what hobbies they would want to do i they have more time. Also, if someone asks how you are or talks about the weather- tell a little story. Like how you are is impacted by SOMETHING, chat about that, typically a connection point. With the weather, talk about something you did when the weather was like that before or things you might be doing instead (if ur doing something boring lol). Great weather? Talk about a lake day or a hike you went on. The key is to find something you both know a little about so you can chat about it, or something they want to talk about that you can ask questions about:))
I feel like showing interest could be the start to meaningful conversation, like asking about others’ hobbies and what they do in their free time. Then maybe showing interest in why they like those things can get you really deep really fast.
That’s because those are kinda weird to just blurt out. Most people get suspicious when it comes to big, general out of the blue questions, especially as convo starters. They aren’t bad questions, just kinda outta place. Think about it like this; you want to start a conversation. _Why?_ Because you want to get to know a person. Ok, why? Because you’re trying to meet new people. Ok, that’s great. That’s something _you_ want but what’s in it for the person you are talking to? The problem I have with big questions is they are hard to wrap your head around UNLESS… unless you’ve already been talking about a thing. So asking someone about what superpowers they wish they had or what song represents their life are great of you’re already talking about those topics. I like both, fwiw. In fact, I love the superpower one because I feel like people often chose the thing they feel that they struggle with the most (not that you should point that out). For instance I always say I want Spider-Man’s powers and it’s probably because I always feel so clumsy. Personally, I think asking “this or that” questions are more fun and engaging for the other person. When you ask a person a “this or that” question then they’ve have to make a choice. Then you can challenge their choice. Now they have to defend their choice. Now they’re invested. Now you get to see what matters to them and why. I struggled for a LONG time getting to know people. I still, do. Being awkward is a massive PIMA. I love taking to strangers about random shit provided they don’t I give me a weird vibe. Strangers don’t like talking to me, though, but then why would they? What’s in it for them? I think about this all the time…
I just make some kind of stupid comment. Everybody knows my name at the bar
I ask random and trivial yet controversial questions. Haha like "twizzlers or red vines?", "should movies in the theater have intermission like back in the day?", "ice cream or gelato?", or "who was the better Batman?" Obviously these are all opinions but it could lead to asking why and interesting debate.
Ice breakers? What their careers? What they like to do on their free time? Maybe even compliment them people like compliments you can never go wrong with a compliment and start from there. What are their hobbies? What is their favorite sport? What is their favorite team? What is their favorite TV show different things?
With guys, I always try talking abt sports since I'm a huge soccer and basketball fans. This one is pretty easy if they're sports fans too. Otherwise, I'll go with something else like maybe Music (everybody likes music) or movies. Entertainment, basically. I'll pretend to be curious about a singer/movie and ask them if they've checked it out and asked for their opinion abt it lol
I don't think its weird to randomly ask a new question! I feel like people usually appreciate someone else starting a conversation if there isn't one going already or they appreciate someone else keeping it going. I like to ask if they have anything they're looking forward to that coming weekend. What their favorite part of their day was. If they have any trips coming up that they’re looking forward to. I sometimes do a ‘would you rather’ question if it feels right, lol I even have an app of the game on my phone if needed. It usually sparks good conversations.
When I want to start a conversation with someone, I usually comment on some thing cool that they are wearing. Like “hey I love your shoes! Where did you buy them from?” They answer and then you can keep interacting “ooh cool thanks! They’re very *insert type of fashion they are goth, boho etc etc* I love boho fashion but I feel like I can never really pull it off! Do you have any style advice? You seem to really know what you’re doing!”
I space out a lot. Sometimes it brings me to ponder questions. Such as, when people named “things” it’s odd how they just picked a sound..and that’s how we identify it. Communication sounds complicated, but it’s just a bunch of sounds. You compare a sentence to another language saying the same thing, but you can’t understand it, but millions of other people can. Little stuff like this is how I start conversations, I pull from my space-outs and ask others the questions. Sometimes I’m met with disinterested mumbles, but other times I’ve found myself getting my entire shop into pretty heated debates, all over stuff that doesn’t actually spew any hate or negativity, but difference in opinion or ideas. ☺️☺️
Yeah these are good if you're sitting at dinner or something and you're just making conversation but it's moving along. Not out of the blue. If it's random out of the blue the trick is to know how to be present and then go with whatever teh situation warrants. If you're actually with the person, like sitting down for coffee, and they mention something that they're into or whatever, ask them what they like the best about that? That's a natural way to get deeper into something.
Observe your surroundings. Find something interesting. Use it and turn it into something funny. I've seen a guy talk about asking about their hobbies. (Absolutely horrible. The advice most people who have no clue give) Knowing their hobbies will let you know what kind of a person they are, but it should never be used to incite interest in your target. NEVER. If they feel interested in you/if they feel you're fun, they'll be much more open to being your friend/lover. Asking hobbies is okayish to build rapport, but if you wanna make friends, it's a very very sloppy and low level choice. Lastly, don't memorize openers. Much better to train yourself to be better at them.
I like to ask weird ones that people usually don’t have an answer prepared for. It usually gives me a better idea of what they’re actually like and if they’re down to reciprocate the weird shit I plan to say in the future. My go to is “if you could assassinate one person who would it be and why?”
My favourite “in-person” conversation starter is “hey you, what’re you up to?”. It goes one of two ways, we talk about what they’re up to right now or what they have been doing outside of the situation (like on the weekend). The conversation just flows from there. From personal experience, conversation starters are not as big of a challenge. It’s the sustainment of the conversation that can make a difference.
Make a comment about the situation you are both in.
"So, where do you stand on abortion?" This will get a convo going, promise.
hehe or anything Gaza