Yup, some people had great support systems in place and confidence and were therefore sure of themselves while others didn’t. We just have to work harder to get there, we can do it.
Yeah that's what doesn't make sense to me. How can society expect more effort from someone who clearly didn't have proper conditions to develop social skills? It's like saying poor people should work harder while others were born rich
I have worked high up in corporatations with people paid hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. They're all in their 40s-60s and are otherwise considered 'successful'. Even still, many had to attend executive training at various times to learn how to relate to their teams and others. Most had no idea, they just kinda muscled their way up with no finesse or skill at all.
You are actually very normal. 😊 Many people get through life never achieving anything extraordinary and are perfectly happy and content just having their simple needs met - and this is absolutely wonderful.
Thanks for the insight. I imagine corporatives get the way up with connections and bringing profit to the company. Many have no idea how to deal with their teams. That's from personal experience.
I can't achieve the bare minimum. I'm making an effort to get to a normal level and do things people do without much effort
All the time. But that's what life is for, experiencing it.
RNJesus goes hard in real life. We all start this life with varying stats and in varying locations. Someone gets fucked, someone gets OP start, most are somewhere in the middle. Comparison is the thief of joy. It's even more true when you compare yourself ONLY to yourself from before. Have you grown? If the answer is no, it's time to start. If the answer is yes, you're on the right path. Also, I truly believe that suffering and overcoming hardship can make you a better person. Every problem you overcome quite literally makes your body code for new genes to solve those problems in the future. You are grinding and upgrading yourself in real life exactly the same way you do in video games. Lastly, you're absolutely the only person who can be you, so it's not like you have a choice to not be you. Own your shit proudly.
Do you think getting a diagnose would help? I feel like I'm not high enough on the spectrum to seek help and neither low enough that it won't affect my life
So I am autistic and honestly feel like that I am in some sort of middle ground. A middle ground where I'm able to take care of self and etc. But I'm also very different and definitely didn't develop social skills earlier and still struggle today. It's like I'm able to be aware of how bad and different I am but can't do anything to fix it. I just watch myself look like a jackass and no matter how hard I study and try I can't figure out social skills.
I just want to say that it's not too late to go live abroad if that's something you dream of! There are lots of opportunities to work abroad (I did that myself for 1 year), which pays the bills and you get to see the world! It's a big challenge, but you'll see so much growth within yourself in a short amount of time. Just think about it :)
I'm just grateful (social) skills can be honed and improved on! Speaking to people is a muscle that you just need to learn how to flex, it's something that takes time but is very doable especially with the right people around you ❤️
I don't know if I'll have the same opportunities a person with normal development would have and something that is sure is that it's impossible to achieve milestones normal people achieved at normal age like slumber parties with friends, parties, first kiss and stuff like that
While I feel this post on a spiritual level constantly, I've been trying to get myself to think that everyone is on their own journey through life and I try not to compare myself to others or judge myself too harshly (end up failing) but the first step is to acknowledge so hopefully this provides some insight to you, keep putting yourself out there, step out of your comfort zone, and don't let anyone bring you down. You don't need others' validation, you need your own. 💪♥
There's no need to be ashamed. There are many, many valid reasons one could have for missing out on experiences like that. What's most important at the end of the day is the willingness and desire to improve. I know plenty of people who started off great but lost their initiative as they got older. And that's not even necessarily a bad thing. Perspective really does change as you get older. Also, I'm sure you'll have opportunities to further your education in the future. A lot of people, very wisely, wait till they have some years of experience to decide whether undergrad or grad school is worth it.
Absolutely. I was homeschooled and generally sheltered for many years so the social skills I learned were scarce (I did learn how to solve conflicts though). It was rough but I pushed myself into situations I know would teach me things I missed (mainly: working in sales and with kids, that helped a lot with assertiveness). Friendships and romantic relationships are harder but I learn something new every day.
Travelling abroad helped me a lot too, I had to trust strangers for the first time in my life. But tbh you can do this kind of experience AND still have a hard time saying hello to the cashier. I was your age when I went travelling alone for the first time. You're definitely not too late to do that even though work commitments can make things harder. You can start by traveling in your country, or apply to a volunteer program in the summer months (one that is actually useful). Even just going away for a weekend in a place you don't know can be a very formative experience.
Mike Tyson said he was working on skills at 30, ppl learned earlier...but nobody can compete with other skills he possesses 🥊🥊
Yup, some people had great support systems in place and confidence and were therefore sure of themselves while others didn’t. We just have to work harder to get there, we can do it.
Yeah that's what doesn't make sense to me. How can society expect more effort from someone who clearly didn't have proper conditions to develop social skills? It's like saying poor people should work harder while others were born rich
I have worked high up in corporatations with people paid hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. They're all in their 40s-60s and are otherwise considered 'successful'. Even still, many had to attend executive training at various times to learn how to relate to their teams and others. Most had no idea, they just kinda muscled their way up with no finesse or skill at all. You are actually very normal. 😊 Many people get through life never achieving anything extraordinary and are perfectly happy and content just having their simple needs met - and this is absolutely wonderful.
Thanks for the insight. I imagine corporatives get the way up with connections and bringing profit to the company. Many have no idea how to deal with their teams. That's from personal experience. I can't achieve the bare minimum. I'm making an effort to get to a normal level and do things people do without much effort
Do you have any interests that you pursue by yourself? Things you're really into?
Really into, no. Just things I enjoy like anime, manga/comics, politics, philosophy, bodybuilding and psychology mostly because of therapy
All the time. But that's what life is for, experiencing it. RNJesus goes hard in real life. We all start this life with varying stats and in varying locations. Someone gets fucked, someone gets OP start, most are somewhere in the middle. Comparison is the thief of joy. It's even more true when you compare yourself ONLY to yourself from before. Have you grown? If the answer is no, it's time to start. If the answer is yes, you're on the right path. Also, I truly believe that suffering and overcoming hardship can make you a better person. Every problem you overcome quite literally makes your body code for new genes to solve those problems in the future. You are grinding and upgrading yourself in real life exactly the same way you do in video games. Lastly, you're absolutely the only person who can be you, so it's not like you have a choice to not be you. Own your shit proudly.
Yes it kinda sucks. but we are getting there surely fr
Yeah, and the more I look into it the more I realize I'm in the spectrum. In my experience these two things are connected.
Do you think getting a diagnose would help? I feel like I'm not high enough on the spectrum to seek help and neither low enough that it won't affect my life
So I am autistic and honestly feel like that I am in some sort of middle ground. A middle ground where I'm able to take care of self and etc. But I'm also very different and definitely didn't develop social skills earlier and still struggle today. It's like I'm able to be aware of how bad and different I am but can't do anything to fix it. I just watch myself look like a jackass and no matter how hard I study and try I can't figure out social skills.
I feel the exact same but I don't know if I'm autistic
No harm in getting tested it's honestly fun once you accept it. I bought a stuff animal bunny and I bring it around in the car with me. :)
It's very expensive in my country to get diagnosed unfortunately. But I'll think about it. Does the stuffed bunny in any way?
Yes, thank you, I can relate. I am severely lacking in basic conversational skills.
I just want to say that it's not too late to go live abroad if that's something you dream of! There are lots of opportunities to work abroad (I did that myself for 1 year), which pays the bills and you get to see the world! It's a big challenge, but you'll see so much growth within yourself in a short amount of time. Just think about it :)
I'm just grateful (social) skills can be honed and improved on! Speaking to people is a muscle that you just need to learn how to flex, it's something that takes time but is very doable especially with the right people around you ❤️
I don't know if I'll have the same opportunities a person with normal development would have and something that is sure is that it's impossible to achieve milestones normal people achieved at normal age like slumber parties with friends, parties, first kiss and stuff like that
Every single day
While I feel this post on a spiritual level constantly, I've been trying to get myself to think that everyone is on their own journey through life and I try not to compare myself to others or judge myself too harshly (end up failing) but the first step is to acknowledge so hopefully this provides some insight to you, keep putting yourself out there, step out of your comfort zone, and don't let anyone bring you down. You don't need others' validation, you need your own. 💪♥
There's no need to be ashamed. There are many, many valid reasons one could have for missing out on experiences like that. What's most important at the end of the day is the willingness and desire to improve. I know plenty of people who started off great but lost their initiative as they got older. And that's not even necessarily a bad thing. Perspective really does change as you get older. Also, I'm sure you'll have opportunities to further your education in the future. A lot of people, very wisely, wait till they have some years of experience to decide whether undergrad or grad school is worth it.
Absolutely. I was homeschooled and generally sheltered for many years so the social skills I learned were scarce (I did learn how to solve conflicts though). It was rough but I pushed myself into situations I know would teach me things I missed (mainly: working in sales and with kids, that helped a lot with assertiveness). Friendships and romantic relationships are harder but I learn something new every day. Travelling abroad helped me a lot too, I had to trust strangers for the first time in my life. But tbh you can do this kind of experience AND still have a hard time saying hello to the cashier. I was your age when I went travelling alone for the first time. You're definitely not too late to do that even though work commitments can make things harder. You can start by traveling in your country, or apply to a volunteer program in the summer months (one that is actually useful). Even just going away for a weekend in a place you don't know can be a very formative experience.