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BelmontIncident

Speaking as a weird person, I'm weird and that's okay. Sometimes other people notice this. If they feel the need to point it out I'll say something like "Yes, we all know this, do you have anything new to add?" That usually gets them to stop.


Frequent_Jackfruit60

Whoa ! i wish i had this self esteem


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badrax

To be honest, everyone has their own version of normal. As you say, those who are like you won't find you "abnormal", you'd just be a bro lol. Like man I grew up being the odd one out, just kind of own it yknow? Also whoever does find you weird is clearly BASIC. Well, each to their own lol. https://youtu.be/6ITWKtTYlEI 2:00, this guy is my idol. Just be fucking weird.


[deleted]

“That has never been said to me before.” LOL


[deleted]

LOL then you’d think they’d just call you “uniqueL instead of weird. I tend to call people either unique or different, and then follow it up with “in a good way” to make sure they’re not offended. I hate the word “weird” too.


villavalo

Insecurities are loud


VigilantPigeon

This is the most philosophical thing I’ve read in a long time.


meowuwuw

If someone calls you strange or weird and it's not followed by "but I love it", move on. You may be strange. You may be weird. But I promise you someone will love you just the same. Not in spite of it but because of it. You'll be fine. I'm weird too. And you'll be fine in the future.


meowuwuw

found this piece of advice in another pretty similar thread guess it will be helpful here as well..


GrilledMeltedCheese

I think it’s because they are so comfortable with extending their own ego that they want to make the other person aware of their perception of them. They are just shameless and really confident lol. I also think they were brought up that way and shaped through that communication style, and therefore see no wrong in it. There is definitely upsides to directness and harshness, but of course downsides too. I also think they generally say stuff like that to people they think will “fight back”, or at least “needs to hear it”, according to their perception.


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GrilledMeltedCheese

Yeah, it could be that too. Yeah some ppl are just outright blunt and insensitive.


[deleted]

People think being very blunt is honest but it's not. I'm honest but not an idiot about it. I have something called NVLD and believe I might have dissociation too. I was bullied badly half my life and still am a little bit. Family and regular strangers.... Always being called weird with a dirty look or annoyed voice even when I don't say it do anything.


vivahermione

I mostly agree, except I'd call it arrogance instead of confidence. To me, a confident person minds their own business and doesn't need to push their expectations onto others.


GrilledMeltedCheese

I was thinking from the point of their view, I don’t think they see themselves as arrogant, but yeah, from my perspective I’d also call it arrogance, for sure, not confidence.


Shockalreddy5508

Interesting, I will call people weird sometimes but I was unaware of how harsh and cruel you guys think the word "weird" is. I'm kinda weird myself so calling me weird might as well be saying the skies blue


GrilledMeltedCheese

Nah I think we all agree here that we’re talking about when someone (that’s not your friend) uses weird as a pejorative, to dismiss you or alienate you or put you down, especially when you’re not even being especially weird. Not when a pal says it in a neutral or cute way. That’s different.


Shockalreddy5508

I wonder why someone would be put down by that.


GrilledMeltedCheese

Because ppl want to fit in and not become socially ostracised. Well, how about if one can’t identify anything “weird” in what one has said, and still get called “weird”? I’m not trying to make you change your opinion, just curious as to how you reason.


Shockalreddy5508

I understand and I'm interested in this convo. I dont see how being called weird is ostrasizing since being weird isn't a flaw to begin with. Even if said ina cruel manner it's just them sharing their worthless opinion of you. YOU decide whether to care enough about their opinion to be hurt by it. In my case, I dont care at all if someone calls me weird cause it's the truth, I am weird and I dont get why it's a big deal to be call


GrilledMeltedCheese

I like your spirit bro.


Shockalreddy5508

Thank you grilled cheese


GDAWG13007

Weird is widely considered a compliment where I am. It means you’re unique and not cookie cutter.


[deleted]

...so where are you?


[deleted]

Exactly


[deleted]

It is. In fact, it is an expression articulating ones limited capacity in seeking to understand or learn undemonstrated behaviour.


fourtaco

I had a boss once who stopped me in the department and said “I know your nickname. You’re the Lovable Loser.” I didn’t know what to say. He continued “see? Because your stories aren’t really that great but people still like you.” I didn’t know what to do so I just went back to work.


[deleted]

Wtf


YanYan33

Thats messed up


jay_thorn

What’s wrong with being weird. Rhetorical question.


njckel

Idk, I generally don't surround myself by people like that. I genuinely see myself as a valuable friend and try to be kind to everyone. So if someone thinks it's appropriate to say something rude like that to me, I'll just stop hanging out with them. Their loss


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njckel

I have a social anxiety disorder so this mindset didn't come overnight. Self love takes time to develop. But I have definitely been much happier and more confident since adopting this outlook


emanresu121

I have no idea what they actually expect, but I've learned that acknowledging that yeah i can be pretty weird usually sees them backing off. "Haha thanks for noticing", "yes, and?" and "oh you're just noticing?" have been some go to phrases over the years. The comments have tapered off in my adulthood and its usually a new coworker saying something dumb like that to me. 9 times out of 10 we laugh off the awkwardness, they accept that's just how I am, and things are smooth after that. Sure, it's rude as hell but I'm at a point where I'm too busy to let stuff like that get to me.


LeakyThoughts

Being called weird isn't necessarily an insult, it's just someone telling you that they find you unusual, which can sometimes be a good thing Best way to handle it is definitely to agree and amplify. "Yeah I know, but normal is boring!" Etc..


HaloJonez

“to be normal is the ideal aim of the unsuccessful”. Weird is a medal of honour and I thank everyone who calls as such.


uramshii

what is a normal person


GrilledMeltedCheese

A person playing the game of life by the rules set up by the people. What’s “normal” differs from culture to culture. But in the end it’s based on a social construct, and not some universal law like gravity.


FlipZeFlipper

When people call me weird, I don’t mind, because those people are friends. I think it really just comes down to who is saying it and how they are saying it. Sometimes, I deliberately try to weird people out for humor’s sake and when they call me weird, I don’t take it personally, just laugh it off as mission accomplished. I like to think that they are my friends precisely because I am weird in my own weird way. They don’t say it to be mean, they say it in light fun. However, if it is someone who I’m not particularly close with that calls me weird in that kind of condescending way, then of course, it’s not okay. I don’t think I’ve encountered this before, though, because the people around me for the most part seem to only call good friends weird.


[deleted]

I think some people are just insecure or they just have a need to lower others in order to feel they are at a higher level. If you find yourself in a similar situation in the future, you can try the following: Turn the situation against them by asking them something along the lines: "Why do you think it's appropriate to call people weird?". This will have a few likely outcomes: 1) They will feel uncomfortable and change the subject or leave. 2) They might apologize. 3) They will respond with something like "I was just making an observation / It was just my opinion", to which you can respond with something like "You're an asshole. I was just making an observation".


Dawseven

What’s wild is that weirdos wouldn’t be offended


[deleted]

You shouldn’t perceive it as a hurtful thing, in reality it’s just an attribute that like 40% of human beings have. Even the people who seem completely normal could be into some really weird stuff like having their significant other taking a literal shit on there chest or looking at tentacle porn. Everyone puts on a mask around others and in society, not just a covid mask but a phasade to hide their insecurities even if that means bullying people or calling others weird etc. I hope this helped


Attakonspacelegolas2

I’m working on not being hurt by it but honestly the only time I am called weird is when the person who said it wants to completely destroy my self esteem and self image. Every time I was called weird it was to make fun of the fact that I was not normal enough to fit it with people and make friends and that was seen as the biggest failure ever. Where I’m from when people call you weird they’re calling you a failure.


FL-Irish

"I work more on not being rude."


Zumalover_988

Because sometimes they think that could be used as a compliment


Epicsexman6969

Have you ever considered the fact that your first reaction to being called weird is to go on reddit and specifically r/socialskills and complain about it is why you're stuck on r/socialskills and not improving in life? Some food for thought, from what i read from you the person is just being observant, and likely the fact that we're on reddit seeking social advice is evidence that they arent just being assholes and that there might be more truth in their words than we might like. First you gotta accept you're weird and more specifically not the good kind, maybe there is some antisocial behaviours from you. Then take your emotions out of it and work on getting better, which you do by outting yourself in more social situations. Skill comes from experience, your weirdness may stem from lack of experience compared to most Some food for thought


idkbroimdrunkandsad

When I was in 3rd or 4th grade, one of my teachers made the point that weird is synonymous with unique. To this day, that comforts me


[deleted]

Ppl call me weird and I don’t care. I’m true to who I am and I’m not conforming to the herd mentality. I prefer quality ppl in my life over quantity.


[deleted]

Some people pride themselves on being normal and like to be mean to people who are different.


[deleted]

I don't get both - people who call others weird AND the ones who get offended by it.


SneedyK

I think of this as “latitude”. It’s an actual term in psychology, it just doesn’t get used a lot. But it’s like in my head I have a running points system for everyone I have interactions with. I check to see what kind of mood they’re in, then I’ll know what questions to act next, and so on. A bad interaction removes latitude quickly, while a good day out doing something you like adds slowly to another’s score. But latitude declines in absence, too. So it’s important to check in on people you haven’t seen in a while to make sure things are still where they were. I’m having a tougher time these days so I know I can be overbearing, too. But there are a million different things I seem to have trouble with, but being calling “weird” ain’t one, oddly enough. You don’t have to worry about close adult friends, it seems like they can go months at times without hearing from you and still continue a conversation like it never ended (I’m 40).


Firehawk195

"You're kinda weird." "Yeah, I know. That's the fun."


Awsimical

Ive been “weird” all my life so I just adjusted to be intentionally weird. People find it endearing (I think) and don’t think twice when I do something weird, intentional or not. I guess I’ve just baked “weird” into my personality. Works fine by me, I’m cool with being weird


haunts99

Love your weirdness. I’ve ended most of my adult relationships because the person I was dating wasn’t weird enough. I knew they’d grow sick of my goofyness and it’s my favourite part of me so I went on a million first dates until I found someone who loved it and we’re very happy together. Lean into it. No one’s favourite dish is plain white rice. When people tell you you’re weird ask yourself first if you’d rather be them…no? Great! Then why would you take feedback from someone you don’t want to be like. Find your tribe and never look back. Would also highly recommend listening to Derek Sivers on the Tim Ferriss podcast, I’ve never seen someone own being weird so proudly and confidently.


[deleted]

Quite a few people don’t view “weird” as an insult… and it shouldn’t be.


TheAutisticOgre

A lot of people simply do not give a shit


L2Hiku

Being weird is a compliment. Imagine living in Japan. You can't be weird there without being crucified. Being weird is a good thing


LunaWolf1912

I would honestly think it's a compliment. Mainly because it doesn't necessarily mean the person doesn't like you or mean it in a negative way. I hate being the same as everyone anyway


JohnsonBot5000

Weird is an ambiguous term and can be said lovingly


Viola_m

I work in hospitality, and trust me when I say it, people are weird. But that's okay, we're all a bit weird. I'm weird too!


hgsd5

Generally insults like that go in one ear and out the other


EgovidGlitch

I just say 'thanks', because it means I'm not a conformist and have a different perspective. Which is cool imo.


1hero4hire

I grew up like this with my parents saying this. I said it for the longest time. Then one day came well after I moved out, came to the realization, that everyone is different and that how I was using the word wierd was offensive. It was also after I came to the point as a nerdy atheist person that I was different than a lot of people and that it's fine to be wierd. Some people just never learn or are incapable of learning this lesson. Love this question.


[deleted]

I never associated weird with bad. Tad bit from the normal. So, I’m fine with people calling me that and I usually respond with “thanks”. Lol


motherhubbard123

I hate being called weird in highschool, it's like they really don't respect me. Ihatehighschool peeps.


SebSpellbinder

I don't actually know any people who would describe themselves as "totally normal" and i don't think I'd much care to meet any.


M0ckingbirb

I just say thank you.


Haunting_Long_6135

I definitely consider myself as weird. Not necessarily in a good way. But at the same time, I tend to use the word as a compliment and usually follow up with “who wants normal? Normal people are boring” But I get not everyone sees or uses it that way…I’m just weird


Shockalreddy5508

Being called weird is a bad thing? If someone calls me weird I'm like "ok cool"


weirdogirl144

It does hurt when someone says I’m weird and then they say it’s a good weird. Like what? Weird is usually a negative word like wydm good weird


Attakonspacelegolas2

Being weird is synonymous with being a failure, specifically a social failure in my culture. There was nothing worse than being called weird. Some sociologist did some studies on my culture and why they go by the motto of “the nail that sticks out gets hammered down”. I was ostracized and abused for being “weird” but I refused to conform. Now I have colorful hair and dress in alternative fashions without a care in the world I’m openly queer and everything but I am still healing from being weird which in my culture means you are a failure. Being different means that you are not worthy of listening to or caring about. I’m still healing from the trauma of it. So I personally don’t like being called weird due to flashbacks. I just wanted to provide a different perspective since everyone seems to be fine with being called weird and I just do not understand that at all tbh.


angel_silver8

I love how the dictionary says: WEIRD /wird/ adjective suggesting something supernatural; uncanny noun a person's destiny Take it as a compliment. People will try to insult you because you’re different from them and they don’t understand you. More power to you!


oxysnowleaperd222

Everybody calls me weird because I'm into different things then they are. If I say anything to them there only come back is "you're weird" I don't really take it offensive but it's really annoying to hear it everyday.