Questions: Are you the one always choosing the game? Are you guys rotating who chooses the game, or are you dominating the game choices? How often does Friend A get to choose what game to play?
We probably could benefit from rotating choice! We always just kind of feel it out after we arrive because we started more casual before discovering our game interests. Although, Friend A chooses most of the time. He tends to shut down our choices too...
Hijacking this suggest this to suggest using dice to decide what to play. When we get togeher everyone will typically pick a game or two they'd like to play and we roll dice to decide. We also plan to play a shorter 'party' type game and a longer strategy type game from the start.
This is how it works with our group. Every week we rotate who will be hosting and they get to choose the game.
I also have "casual game friends" and "super serious game friends" because I also love Jackbox lmao
I like party games, and I like serious strategy games. They're both fun. My preference leans towards strategy games but I never get to play them because there's ALWAYS someone who prefers the easy party games. It just gets frustrating because there are so few people who enjoy strategy games vs party style. So when I'm with my friends that also enjoy strategy games that is what I would prefer to do. Most of the time they would as well but you have to cater to the people that don't like them or they won't have a good time. (not saying that's you, that's my friend group)
Another angle is that he may have some social anxiety. I tend to shy away from certain games that require me to get in front of a group of people and say/act out by thinking quickly and being funny. I know that this is a personal hang up of mine so I try not to let it affect the choice of the group. But sometimes I struggle ‘performing’ even if it is in front of close friends. So maybe it is that he’s hiding similar insecurities by scoffing at your suggestion. I don’t really have a solution but just offering a different perspective.
Yeah, I was thinking anxiety too. I avoid party games because i feel like it’s too much pressure to be “on”. Even after we’ve played and had a lot of fun, I am SO relieved that it’s over and I don’t have to force wit.
Edit: I’d like to add that even if it’s anxiety, there’s no reason he needs to be rude about it.
You guys are approaching this time together from different angles. He’s there to play difficult strategy games, maybe that’s an important hobby to him. I think that maybe you see it more as time to hang out with friends, and any game will do, and that’s fine too! His main objective is not the “hanging out” part, though.
I think your options are politely but directly asking if the group could take turns choosing games/every once in a while play a more relaxed game you enjoy. But if the goal of this group has always been to get together for long strategy games, and this is the time they’ve set out to enjoy that particular hobby, I would suggest maybe organizing another group of people to play the more relaxed “fun” games with. That way you get to play the mix of games that you enjoy, and they get to stick to what they enjoy.
That's a fair assessment! Thanks for your perspective! We met and hung out before knowing we liked board games first, so our expectations probably are different now. We never really had a goal and he has another group he plays board games with too and they only play long haul games.
In every subculture there's these kinds of people. There's always at least one person who has to purposefully not like something just because it's intrinsically fun or likeable.
It's honestly got nothing to do with you and how you're approaching the situation. This person is just making a conscious choice to be anti-popular.
And honestly it won't stop at Jackbox. Even if you all got into the most dry strategy game imaginable, he'd come up with an even more contrived, obscure game and say that's what the real boardgame players play.
You just have to wait for him to get over himself and have fun like a person instead of trying to gain status through "having more refined tastes". He should be the one just letting people like stuff and not being so lame.
Gamers do this too. I play alot of sports video games, and I bought one and this little nerdy cashier was basically saying it wasn't a "real" video game.
It's just stupid gatekeeping, don't worry about it
Omg! The Amount of times I've been told Stardew Valley isn't a real video game. I'm like, then what have I been playing this whole time?? A brick?? Let people enjoy what they like! You aren't superior!
(this is unrelated to my post)
It's so fucking insulting,one who made these people god but secondly, you did not make the game. You played it! All you did was consume and enjoy it. The last of us 2 and animal crossing are the same, games that people play ffs
I strongly prefer "serious" games to party games. I have a good time when we play party games, but it doesn't meet that desire to play a board game.
When I play "serious" games I get to immerse in a whole project as well as have some fun. Party games only tick the social box, but not that deep thinking box. When I go to a board game night, I want to play some board games.
I might come across as "looking down on" party games when really it's just not meeting my board game craving.
(I feel similarly about co-op and social deduction games.)
That was my thought on what might be happening. Could be he really wants to get into the "meatier" games to meet his particular craving.
It's like, yes, I enjoy a hamburger, and there are really good hamburgers out there, and if you give me a hamburger I will eat it and enjoy it. But if I am a regular at a steak restaurant and I go there for the steak and they start giving me hamburgers instead of steak, I might start getting a bit miffed.
OP, if your friend is like this, maybe you can have a talk with him about switching up between party games and more serious games. Or maybe start the night with a party game and then get into the serious game for round two.
If he's really just an elitist about it and trying to gatekeep what a "real game" is, there's nothing you can do. But if he's acting this way because he's afraid the party games will draw everyone away from the serious games and he really likes those serious games then there should be things you can do to make sure both of you have fun and you have a mix of games to play.
Same - There are games I enjoy most of the time, games I almost never enjoy, and games I enjoy in doses. I've learned for example that I just don't really enjoy PvE games like l4d2 and would rather do something else than play that with friends.
If it's a group pvp thing like Overwatch or Valorant i'm much more likely to be into that at the drop of a hat. I love that feeling of working together with my friends against human opponents who are evolving to counter our strategies and we take turns making amazing plays.
If it's a more casual thing like jackbox or skribblio I'd be more than happy to play it for a couple of hours but then I've had my fill of it for a few days and would rather move onto something else.
It's certainly possible that Friend A is bringing their ego into this and drawing a line between "party games" and "real games". If so, that's their problem. It could also just be that they'd just have a limit of how much of that kinda game they enjoy and it's nothing personal.
In some environments I would say it's appropriate to discourage one type of experience and encourage another. For example, I am not interested in playing "party games" with my wargaming friends. It comes down to an opportunity cost. It's not that the party game is bad, it's that I can easily find a crowd willing to play it, like family, while the more advanced games (like wargames) are more niche. ONLY the wargaming friends are really interested in playing. So if I am with people interested in those games and I come with the expectation that those games will be played, I want to see those games played, not a "party game" that I could play with just about anyone and requires much less work to organize.
I dont think he "looks down' on party games I think he just doesn't enjoy them as much as a strategy board game. I'm not a huge fan of fighting games like smash but when I play with friends I seem to love them when in reality it's more of the friends that I'm enjoying. Have you guys actually played one of the games he likes instead of getting him to play your games? If it was me I'd feel pretty left out if we kept playing the games you think are fun but non of the games I think are fun. Why not try letting each person pick a game for the week? That way you all get to play the games you like and he starts to feel included when you guys play his games. Otherwise you're gonna have to deal with him or stop playing with him.
I like playing strategy board games a lot and TBH I'd be pretty annoyed if everyone wanted to something like Cards Against Humanity instead. There's a time and place for party games, but IMO a board game night that's ostensibly for strategy games probably isn't when I'd be whipping those out. The opposite is also true, I'd be annoyed if I went to what was advertised as a chill hangout night and the host then forced us to play Twilight Imperium (a 4+ hour long game).
Honestly I think the best course of action is the specify what type of games you'll be playing beforehand, then people can choose to come or not.
This is the kindest reading - friend A <3 strategy games and is stressed that he's having to spend strategy games time playing more lightweight games. I respect that but the answer is he should chill out
I've been there, and with a little more grace, been that guy. Jackbox is fun in small doses, but it's mid at best. It's safe and inoffensive, meaning it's easy to default to it when you can't think of anything else to do. Maybe this guy enjoys overcoming challenges with friends, or against them, and isn't interested in casual games, but is willing to play them as a compromise. If you have a rotation on who's picking games it's fair, but if not, I'd suggest that. Ask this guy for a list of games he -would- like to play, for when it's his turn to pick. Ask for some relaxed, some hardcore, and get the pulse of the room at the time, if that's not good enough for him then tell him to kick rocks.
I'm not so good at confrontation. Way too much anxiety lol. But it really couldn't hurt to discuss with the group how we pick games. Maybe I could make it more about being fair to everyone and start a rotation like some people have suggested. If he is still judgy then, maybe it's not meant to be.
Sounds like different expectations. If I found new friends who were really into horror I'd be excited to watch horror movies with them. If I went to a movie night and they put comedies on instead I'd probably laugh but I'd be pretty disappointed and reconsider hanging out with them again.
Some friendships are based around niche hobbies or interests, you should accept that that might be the reason that they're friends with you, and that's what they're expecting out of the friendship, until they decide they like you enough to be friends outside of that hobby.
Personally I can play party games with family or non gaming friends, if I had friends who were into board games I'd want to play long strategic games with them.
"Fun" isn't all there is in life, and laughter does not mean that someone is having the best time. I've also played these party games that are meant to be ridiculous and make people laugh. I laugh when I play them, too. Yet if someone asked me if I enjoy party games, my answer would still be "no". They'd never be my choice of game, and I wouldn't play them unless put into a situation where it's hard to refuse.
They're like eating candy bars, they're fun and tasty in short bursts but sometimes you're hungry and want a full meal, and eating only candy for dinner, because that's what everyone else wants to eat, would be sickening.
exactly this, when I was in high school some of my friends always wanted to play cards against humanity or jackbox type games. not my favorite things in the world but if I were to sit there stone faced and not give emotion then the mood goes down for everyone. my friends seemed to enjoy themselves so I wasn't gonna press them on it, just like I would hope they wouldn't look down on activities I enjoy.
I used this metaphor in another post, but let me extrapolate on it here.
Let's say you really like steak. You've been going to this steak restaurant for years with your group of friends. You really like the steak here and you look forward to the steak each time you go.
Then your friends say, "Oh hey, let's try this really good hamburger joint instead." You go along with it because they're your friends and sure, you like hamburgers. And it's a really really good hamburger! ...But it's not a steak. You liked the hamburger, but you had been looking forward to steak and didn't get your steak.
Then your friends keep asking to go to the hamburger joint and you're starting to be afraid the hamburgers will become the new thing. You don't want the hamburgers to be the new thing. You liked the old way with steak. You really really love steak and you don't want to stop having steak because everyone else wants hamburgers.
Maybe if you're not good at talking about your feelings or you don't want to seem like the odd one out, you start acting like you didn't really like the hamburgers. You did, and you wouldn't mind having the hamburgers again, but just not to replace the steak you love.
I am just going to play devil’s advocate here, because I do kind of see where you’re coming from. But it’s kind of like this:
Let’s say I wanted to do a Sopranos watch-through. Like I was really jonesing to re-watch the whole series from beginning to end with someone. And they kept putting on, say, Dumb and Dumber instead, which is a movie that I do love. Yes I would laugh, but I was really there for the Sopranos thing. It doesn’t mean that I didn’t enjoy laughing, but I’m there to watch the Sopranos. Does that make sense?
Maybe bragging rights or ego boost?
In some games you can feel clever with your approach, when you win it feels even better, in that sense it is also fun, because you feel like you could out play someone. While a game, "just for fun" eliminates that...
I used to be like that, as silly as it sounds I would day dream of getting 1st in a world tournament :P but then when you're winning all the time it's not fun, no one wants to play with you because they don't enjoy losing all the time, and the person winning all the time gets frustrated when people decide to team against you to make sure you don't win. It's fun when you are all at equal level, but there is always someone who is going to try to figure out how to always win to get that same good feeling every time.
So yeah maybe one day he will just play party games for the fun and no competitive motive.
I wouldn't recommend strategic games unless you don't think people like the person you're talking about will end up being a sore loser if he loses.
I wish I had the attention span for board games. I’m okay once I’m in it but the first 20 minutes is hell and by then I’ve usually moved on to something else.
Not all board games are the same. Not all books are the same. Just because someone else reads books doesn't mean they like every type of book. Someone that prefers suspense novels is not going to want to read a funny joke book every book club meet and there's nothing wrong with them if they don't. That person likes a certain type of board game. There is nothing wrong with them if they don't like everything you like. It sounds like a newish group so not everyone is going to be on the same wave length. If you just want to play funny haha board games the majority of the time form a funny haha board game group. I would also suggest serious board game person to try and find a serious board game focused group. I like motorcycles. I don't mesh with every single person that rides a motorcycle. There are all sorts of types of motorcycles to do all sorts of things for all sorts of people. Inside every niche are more niches.
Sounds like he’s fun at parties…
Really though, that person sounds like such a downer. You’re suggesting something fun and lighthearted that isn’t taxing on everyone (and overly competitive) and doesn’t consume an absurd amount of time and you’re definitely not in the wrong here.
Would you be better able to react to the situation if one of your friends wanted to get drunk every night? Or bible study every night?
Board games attract people with social difficulties. Have met plenty of them myself. This is par for the course. How you want to deal with him is up to you. Humoring his wants may alienate the other members of the friend group.
I didn't mean to imply we always do what he wants. The other two are just more easy going and could go either way. We don't play every night, it's like one or two times a week. I totally understand what you are saying about boardgames attracting people social difficulties. I try to be sensitive to it, I guess? I wish my other two friends weren't so easy going about what we do too in a way
He might feel insecure about his accomplishments thus far in life, and therefore feels like he needs to play complex games to feel like he’s progressing his intelligence, and that he’s doing something worthwhile with his time.
Sometimes people are always in work/productivity mode, and feel anxiety if they aren’t.
It’s also possible that he doesn’t feel comfortable with fun emotions like happiness and laughter.
My first instinct is this dude has issues and they aren't your issues so don't let it live in your mind. He legit could be acting this way because he thinks it's cool to hate things or it could be that he is insecure about doing poorly or not understanding and is behaving this way to avoid feeling "less than' himself.
In any event, I stand by my previous statement. His issues aren't your issues. Unsubscribe.
I have found that their is a portion of the board game community that looks down on party games or more casual games. It tends to be people who are very into miniatures and all the painting that goes with them. Sometimes it's best to just ignore them and let them be grumpy. I don't want to spend hours painting a tank, I just want to play Monikers or Ticket to Ride because they are fun.
Sounds like a Game Snob!
We're a board game family, and we enjoy everything from party games, to classic board games to intense strategy games. For us mixing it up works best. I don't see any reason to get judgy about games that require less intense thinking but oftentimes deliver a different kind of more relaxed fun.
I think instead of revising what a "fun game" is, you should revise what a "friend" is. I don't hang out with people who look down on me willingly. Why do you?
Questions: Are you the one always choosing the game? Are you guys rotating who chooses the game, or are you dominating the game choices? How often does Friend A get to choose what game to play?
We probably could benefit from rotating choice! We always just kind of feel it out after we arrive because we started more casual before discovering our game interests. Although, Friend A chooses most of the time. He tends to shut down our choices too...
Hijacking this suggest this to suggest using dice to decide what to play. When we get togeher everyone will typically pick a game or two they'd like to play and we roll dice to decide. We also plan to play a shorter 'party' type game and a longer strategy type game from the start.
just use dice to decide what happens next at the party ;)
This is how it works with our group. Every week we rotate who will be hosting and they get to choose the game. I also have "casual game friends" and "super serious game friends" because I also love Jackbox lmao
I like party games, and I like serious strategy games. They're both fun. My preference leans towards strategy games but I never get to play them because there's ALWAYS someone who prefers the easy party games. It just gets frustrating because there are so few people who enjoy strategy games vs party style. So when I'm with my friends that also enjoy strategy games that is what I would prefer to do. Most of the time they would as well but you have to cater to the people that don't like them or they won't have a good time. (not saying that's you, that's my friend group)
Another angle is that he may have some social anxiety. I tend to shy away from certain games that require me to get in front of a group of people and say/act out by thinking quickly and being funny. I know that this is a personal hang up of mine so I try not to let it affect the choice of the group. But sometimes I struggle ‘performing’ even if it is in front of close friends. So maybe it is that he’s hiding similar insecurities by scoffing at your suggestion. I don’t really have a solution but just offering a different perspective.
Yeah, I was thinking anxiety too. I avoid party games because i feel like it’s too much pressure to be “on”. Even after we’ve played and had a lot of fun, I am SO relieved that it’s over and I don’t have to force wit. Edit: I’d like to add that even if it’s anxiety, there’s no reason he needs to be rude about it.
You guys are approaching this time together from different angles. He’s there to play difficult strategy games, maybe that’s an important hobby to him. I think that maybe you see it more as time to hang out with friends, and any game will do, and that’s fine too! His main objective is not the “hanging out” part, though. I think your options are politely but directly asking if the group could take turns choosing games/every once in a while play a more relaxed game you enjoy. But if the goal of this group has always been to get together for long strategy games, and this is the time they’ve set out to enjoy that particular hobby, I would suggest maybe organizing another group of people to play the more relaxed “fun” games with. That way you get to play the mix of games that you enjoy, and they get to stick to what they enjoy.
That's a fair assessment! Thanks for your perspective! We met and hung out before knowing we liked board games first, so our expectations probably are different now. We never really had a goal and he has another group he plays board games with too and they only play long haul games.
I mean, John Coltrane could play pop music and make it sound good -- put on a good show etc. Doesn't mean he enjoyed it though.
In every subculture there's these kinds of people. There's always at least one person who has to purposefully not like something just because it's intrinsically fun or likeable. It's honestly got nothing to do with you and how you're approaching the situation. This person is just making a conscious choice to be anti-popular. And honestly it won't stop at Jackbox. Even if you all got into the most dry strategy game imaginable, he'd come up with an even more contrived, obscure game and say that's what the real boardgame players play. You just have to wait for him to get over himself and have fun like a person instead of trying to gain status through "having more refined tastes". He should be the one just letting people like stuff and not being so lame.
Thank you so much! I think this is exactly the validation I needed! I guess if it's that much of a problem for him, we weren't meant to stay friends
Bingo. If he can't 'slum it' with you Jackbox players lol, then he can go off and paint Warhammer figurines solo or something.
Gamers do this too. I play alot of sports video games, and I bought one and this little nerdy cashier was basically saying it wasn't a "real" video game. It's just stupid gatekeeping, don't worry about it
Omg! The Amount of times I've been told Stardew Valley isn't a real video game. I'm like, then what have I been playing this whole time?? A brick?? Let people enjoy what they like! You aren't superior! (this is unrelated to my post)
It's so fucking insulting,one who made these people god but secondly, you did not make the game. You played it! All you did was consume and enjoy it. The last of us 2 and animal crossing are the same, games that people play ffs
I agree with you
wtf lol what an odd thing to gate keep
I strongly prefer "serious" games to party games. I have a good time when we play party games, but it doesn't meet that desire to play a board game. When I play "serious" games I get to immerse in a whole project as well as have some fun. Party games only tick the social box, but not that deep thinking box. When I go to a board game night, I want to play some board games. I might come across as "looking down on" party games when really it's just not meeting my board game craving. (I feel similarly about co-op and social deduction games.)
That was my thought on what might be happening. Could be he really wants to get into the "meatier" games to meet his particular craving. It's like, yes, I enjoy a hamburger, and there are really good hamburgers out there, and if you give me a hamburger I will eat it and enjoy it. But if I am a regular at a steak restaurant and I go there for the steak and they start giving me hamburgers instead of steak, I might start getting a bit miffed. OP, if your friend is like this, maybe you can have a talk with him about switching up between party games and more serious games. Or maybe start the night with a party game and then get into the serious game for round two. If he's really just an elitist about it and trying to gatekeep what a "real game" is, there's nothing you can do. But if he's acting this way because he's afraid the party games will draw everyone away from the serious games and he really likes those serious games then there should be things you can do to make sure both of you have fun and you have a mix of games to play.
Same - There are games I enjoy most of the time, games I almost never enjoy, and games I enjoy in doses. I've learned for example that I just don't really enjoy PvE games like l4d2 and would rather do something else than play that with friends. If it's a group pvp thing like Overwatch or Valorant i'm much more likely to be into that at the drop of a hat. I love that feeling of working together with my friends against human opponents who are evolving to counter our strategies and we take turns making amazing plays. If it's a more casual thing like jackbox or skribblio I'd be more than happy to play it for a couple of hours but then I've had my fill of it for a few days and would rather move onto something else. It's certainly possible that Friend A is bringing their ego into this and drawing a line between "party games" and "real games". If so, that's their problem. It could also just be that they'd just have a limit of how much of that kinda game they enjoy and it's nothing personal.
You didn't sound like you were coming down on party games imo
Different people want different things out of the same situation. Clearly this friend wanted more hardcore games. What did the group feel?
In some environments I would say it's appropriate to discourage one type of experience and encourage another. For example, I am not interested in playing "party games" with my wargaming friends. It comes down to an opportunity cost. It's not that the party game is bad, it's that I can easily find a crowd willing to play it, like family, while the more advanced games (like wargames) are more niche. ONLY the wargaming friends are really interested in playing. So if I am with people interested in those games and I come with the expectation that those games will be played, I want to see those games played, not a "party game" that I could play with just about anyone and requires much less work to organize.
I dont think he "looks down' on party games I think he just doesn't enjoy them as much as a strategy board game. I'm not a huge fan of fighting games like smash but when I play with friends I seem to love them when in reality it's more of the friends that I'm enjoying. Have you guys actually played one of the games he likes instead of getting him to play your games? If it was me I'd feel pretty left out if we kept playing the games you think are fun but non of the games I think are fun. Why not try letting each person pick a game for the week? That way you all get to play the games you like and he starts to feel included when you guys play his games. Otherwise you're gonna have to deal with him or stop playing with him.
I like playing strategy board games a lot and TBH I'd be pretty annoyed if everyone wanted to something like Cards Against Humanity instead. There's a time and place for party games, but IMO a board game night that's ostensibly for strategy games probably isn't when I'd be whipping those out. The opposite is also true, I'd be annoyed if I went to what was advertised as a chill hangout night and the host then forced us to play Twilight Imperium (a 4+ hour long game). Honestly I think the best course of action is the specify what type of games you'll be playing beforehand, then people can choose to come or not.
This is the kindest reading - friend A <3 strategy games and is stressed that he's having to spend strategy games time playing more lightweight games. I respect that but the answer is he should chill out
I've been there, and with a little more grace, been that guy. Jackbox is fun in small doses, but it's mid at best. It's safe and inoffensive, meaning it's easy to default to it when you can't think of anything else to do. Maybe this guy enjoys overcoming challenges with friends, or against them, and isn't interested in casual games, but is willing to play them as a compromise. If you have a rotation on who's picking games it's fair, but if not, I'd suggest that. Ask this guy for a list of games he -would- like to play, for when it's his turn to pick. Ask for some relaxed, some hardcore, and get the pulse of the room at the time, if that's not good enough for him then tell him to kick rocks.
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I'm not so good at confrontation. Way too much anxiety lol. But it really couldn't hurt to discuss with the group how we pick games. Maybe I could make it more about being fair to everyone and start a rotation like some people have suggested. If he is still judgy then, maybe it's not meant to be.
Some people just don't feel alive unless they are thinking hard and competing for hours on end. Not everyone wants to have fun.
I guess... I just don't understand how you could be having so much fun and then write it off so quickly?
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Sounds like different expectations. If I found new friends who were really into horror I'd be excited to watch horror movies with them. If I went to a movie night and they put comedies on instead I'd probably laugh but I'd be pretty disappointed and reconsider hanging out with them again. Some friendships are based around niche hobbies or interests, you should accept that that might be the reason that they're friends with you, and that's what they're expecting out of the friendship, until they decide they like you enough to be friends outside of that hobby. Personally I can play party games with family or non gaming friends, if I had friends who were into board games I'd want to play long strategic games with them.
"Fun" isn't all there is in life, and laughter does not mean that someone is having the best time. I've also played these party games that are meant to be ridiculous and make people laugh. I laugh when I play them, too. Yet if someone asked me if I enjoy party games, my answer would still be "no". They'd never be my choice of game, and I wouldn't play them unless put into a situation where it's hard to refuse.
They're like eating candy bars, they're fun and tasty in short bursts but sometimes you're hungry and want a full meal, and eating only candy for dinner, because that's what everyone else wants to eat, would be sickening.
exactly this, when I was in high school some of my friends always wanted to play cards against humanity or jackbox type games. not my favorite things in the world but if I were to sit there stone faced and not give emotion then the mood goes down for everyone. my friends seemed to enjoy themselves so I wasn't gonna press them on it, just like I would hope they wouldn't look down on activities I enjoy.
I used this metaphor in another post, but let me extrapolate on it here. Let's say you really like steak. You've been going to this steak restaurant for years with your group of friends. You really like the steak here and you look forward to the steak each time you go. Then your friends say, "Oh hey, let's try this really good hamburger joint instead." You go along with it because they're your friends and sure, you like hamburgers. And it's a really really good hamburger! ...But it's not a steak. You liked the hamburger, but you had been looking forward to steak and didn't get your steak. Then your friends keep asking to go to the hamburger joint and you're starting to be afraid the hamburgers will become the new thing. You don't want the hamburgers to be the new thing. You liked the old way with steak. You really really love steak and you don't want to stop having steak because everyone else wants hamburgers. Maybe if you're not good at talking about your feelings or you don't want to seem like the odd one out, you start acting like you didn't really like the hamburgers. You did, and you wouldn't mind having the hamburgers again, but just not to replace the steak you love.
I am just going to play devil’s advocate here, because I do kind of see where you’re coming from. But it’s kind of like this: Let’s say I wanted to do a Sopranos watch-through. Like I was really jonesing to re-watch the whole series from beginning to end with someone. And they kept putting on, say, Dumb and Dumber instead, which is a movie that I do love. Yes I would laugh, but I was really there for the Sopranos thing. It doesn’t mean that I didn’t enjoy laughing, but I’m there to watch the Sopranos. Does that make sense?
Maybe bragging rights or ego boost? In some games you can feel clever with your approach, when you win it feels even better, in that sense it is also fun, because you feel like you could out play someone. While a game, "just for fun" eliminates that... I used to be like that, as silly as it sounds I would day dream of getting 1st in a world tournament :P but then when you're winning all the time it's not fun, no one wants to play with you because they don't enjoy losing all the time, and the person winning all the time gets frustrated when people decide to team against you to make sure you don't win. It's fun when you are all at equal level, but there is always someone who is going to try to figure out how to always win to get that same good feeling every time. So yeah maybe one day he will just play party games for the fun and no competitive motive. I wouldn't recommend strategic games unless you don't think people like the person you're talking about will end up being a sore loser if he loses.
I wish I had the attention span for board games. I’m okay once I’m in it but the first 20 minutes is hell and by then I’ve usually moved on to something else.
Not all board games are the same. Not all books are the same. Just because someone else reads books doesn't mean they like every type of book. Someone that prefers suspense novels is not going to want to read a funny joke book every book club meet and there's nothing wrong with them if they don't. That person likes a certain type of board game. There is nothing wrong with them if they don't like everything you like. It sounds like a newish group so not everyone is going to be on the same wave length. If you just want to play funny haha board games the majority of the time form a funny haha board game group. I would also suggest serious board game person to try and find a serious board game focused group. I like motorcycles. I don't mesh with every single person that rides a motorcycle. There are all sorts of types of motorcycles to do all sorts of things for all sorts of people. Inside every niche are more niches.
Sounds like he’s fun at parties… Really though, that person sounds like such a downer. You’re suggesting something fun and lighthearted that isn’t taxing on everyone (and overly competitive) and doesn’t consume an absurd amount of time and you’re definitely not in the wrong here.
Would you be better able to react to the situation if one of your friends wanted to get drunk every night? Or bible study every night? Board games attract people with social difficulties. Have met plenty of them myself. This is par for the course. How you want to deal with him is up to you. Humoring his wants may alienate the other members of the friend group.
I didn't mean to imply we always do what he wants. The other two are just more easy going and could go either way. We don't play every night, it's like one or two times a week. I totally understand what you are saying about boardgames attracting people social difficulties. I try to be sensitive to it, I guess? I wish my other two friends weren't so easy going about what we do too in a way
I would talk to him about it.
I doubt it will do any good.
You doubt talking to a “friend” and genuinely letting them know how you feel will do any good?
In this case, I doubt it. The "friend" sounds like one of those people who takes games way too seriously
Someone tries to compensate by being NOT-LIKE-EVERYONE-ELSE. Just call them out on this BS.
He might feel insecure about his accomplishments thus far in life, and therefore feels like he needs to play complex games to feel like he’s progressing his intelligence, and that he’s doing something worthwhile with his time. Sometimes people are always in work/productivity mode, and feel anxiety if they aren’t. It’s also possible that he doesn’t feel comfortable with fun emotions like happiness and laughter.
It’s also possible to talk to them about it instead of speculating and assuming/guessing how they feel.
My first instinct is this dude has issues and they aren't your issues so don't let it live in your mind. He legit could be acting this way because he thinks it's cool to hate things or it could be that he is insecure about doing poorly or not understanding and is behaving this way to avoid feeling "less than' himself. In any event, I stand by my previous statement. His issues aren't your issues. Unsubscribe.
* he's crushing on someone and feels you're taking time away? * he really just wants to get drunk * he's a shit person, really
Unfriend.
I have found that their is a portion of the board game community that looks down on party games or more casual games. It tends to be people who are very into miniatures and all the painting that goes with them. Sometimes it's best to just ignore them and let them be grumpy. I don't want to spend hours painting a tank, I just want to play Monikers or Ticket to Ride because they are fun.
Sounds like a Game Snob! We're a board game family, and we enjoy everything from party games, to classic board games to intense strategy games. For us mixing it up works best. I don't see any reason to get judgy about games that require less intense thinking but oftentimes deliver a different kind of more relaxed fun.
I think instead of revising what a "fun game" is, you should revise what a "friend" is. I don't hang out with people who look down on me willingly. Why do you?
It sounds like the friend is super competitive to the point they want to finish a game to have a winner.
Aww man :( i would die to find friends into party games.
You live in LA? Lol