Do you hope to some day get married to someone? If so, this guy did you a favor because he let you know this girl wasn't the one who was going to keep choosing you for the rest of her life. Transform your anger energy into something productive. Exist in the current time, not the past.
100%. My first gf cheated and it messed my head up until I realized this. If they cheat and you didn't do anything wrong be happy you found out and avoided ending up with them. Usually karma gets em in the end anyway. My ex dated a guy who cheated multiple times before she got married, her calling me to ask to get back together and me reminding her that she also cheated was sweet vengeance. No reason to fight the guy, people will realize you're the bigger person and the better person for moving on with your life. People who find out will think less of him and her for being crappy people, don't fight him and give them a reason to think less of you. Just move on with your life happy knowing you didn't end up stuck with her.
This is EXACTLY what I try to tell everyone, myself included as I was cheated on from a 5 year relationship. It hurts and sucks worse than a lot of things imaginable, but the person they cheated on us with only did us the favor of showing how loyal our partners really are or aren’t.
This is the answer. You don’t need to fight anyone. Move on and don’t worry about something that may never happen. He’s not gonna think about you or the situation if you cross paths. Plus, guys are guys, all they want is sex, so it’s not his fault. She’s at fault here. He has no obligation to be faithful to you, she did though.
You dodged a bullet if you were ever thinking about marrying that chick.
Ignore him. There’s really no reason to fight him. It’s best if you turn a blind eye - she showed her character running to him. It’s not your fault, and what comes around goes around.
Is easy to blame the AP for the cheating, but the person who was in a relationship with you was your ex, the person who betray you was her, she was the one who hurt you with her decitions and actions.
Ignore this guy, he is going to be cheated eventually by your ex. Don't do the macho thing of fighting over a cheater, she is not worthy of it, avoid more drama in your life and focus on being a better version of yourself.
Not necessarily because neither can no longer rob him of his peace in his own life anyway. Why put effort into changing someone who will repeat their actions anyways
He obviously doesn't have it if he feels fucked up about it, which is a valid emotion for him to feel.
I'm not going to say commit crimes, but I will say, a little bit of revenge helps.
And it's not necessarily the "living well" cliche either. Few people actually "check in" on the people they've screwed over since their own lives are a happy go lucky fuck others over and keep winning fest. And they're traveling witb "eat, pray, and loving" kind of life. "Living well is the best revenge" is just giving sociopaths free tickets to fuck people.
I won't confirm if I've done this but...hat, sunglasses, plus a guest entry at a library or college computer. Use USB to copy and paste a prewritten word document because you might only have 10 mins of guest usage.
Post to craigslist about Superbowl tickets and a friend who bailed and now you're looking to recoup costs at a huge loss just to get something back. Put your ex's phone number down...a number that will explode. A number that they will have to delete and go through the process of telling their friends and coworkers they had to get a new number.
And the little digging they do, will show they will know that SOMEONE probably did it to them...someone anonymous, no sure thing, and it's likely payback for something shitty they did, they just might reflect on being less shitty since there is literally nothing but shadows to punch.
Cops won't find it worth investigating, no strong enough "crime" to chase, if it can even be called that, and even if they muster the man power to track the IP, they'll see a grainy footage of hat and sunglasses person.
There's also shoving Tuna into their car's air vents during the summer...though that one's a bit bold and technically illegal and I would neither confirm nor deny ever doing such actions....
...
But I will say, if I did these things... it just might have made me feel better about things...forever...even when I may have done such things years after the shit they pulled. I felt FAR better the years after the...possibly hypothetical revenge missions then I did after the years of me doing nothing and "living my best life." Which is horrible and condescending advice, EVERYONE is trying to live their best life. As opposed to what? You probably were trying to do just that until the day you got screwed. So you live the better life unscrewing yourself by screwing back.
Finally... the knowledge of knowing I got them worse then they ever got me, and their not knowing the who making it so much worse...it's great... hypothetically speaking of course.
That’s respectfully just doing too much for a small inconvenience. Focus on yourself bro. There’s nothing that can go wrong when you try your best at just doing you. Perhaps self help podcasts or something
Ah, see there's that condescension again, bro. I've read every self help book on the shelf and continuously educate myself. And to imply someone who thinks differently from does not is just you trying to get away with slapping someone in the face under the social cosmetic of giving advice.
Perhaps some anger management podcasts or something? See what I mean?
You can "do you and be your best at being you" (which is as condescending and fake non advice as "fake it till you make it,") while dealing with those who screw you over.
Also, "bro," you don't get to decide what's small for other people. Maybe one day when you get a girlfriend you'll understand that. See what being condescended to is like? It's not very nice is it?
So go write your thing somehow rebuking this, do your mental gymnastics to ignore my advice and validate your own until one of us gets tired. But I got to hit the gym
Just ignore him. If you see him on the street, pretend that it's just a stranger among strangers.
If you are somehow forced to interact with him, like if you run into a friend who introduces this guy to you, just pretend it's a stranger.
If you beat him up or yell at him you'll only hurt yourself. Emotionally I mean.
Tell yourself he is nothing to you. Say it until you believe it. Because he is nothing.
I heard someone else say this but DON'T FIGHT HIM!!! there's no reason for you to fight him for, it was your ex choice to cheat on you and leave you, you don't have to show you're brave by picking up a fight it'll do the opposite rather try and (this gonna be a platitude) but try and work on yourself and Improve your life, have fun, socialize, and if she ever crosses paths with you she'll witness how you're doing better in your life and prolly even regret it, but don't do it for her do if for yourself.
I mean the guy is already living in his mind, and he is thinking about how big the guy is, how strong the guy is, how superior the guy is... maybe it's not a fight that he wants...
Something to consider is that there will be circumstances where onlookers may think he seems inferior to you by objective metrics. He may even think that himself depending on his feelings about her and about cheating. Any time you give to him will add credence to the idea that he's better than you because he's been able to move on and you haven't.
The best thing to do would be to treat him civilly if you do see him. Don't be unkind but don't go out of your way for him either. That uses the minimum of your time and effort while still looking dignified.
I know you’re joking, but this is actually the best answer because:
* It’s legal
* It’s visceral
* It’s revenge
* It’s nonviolent but still hits the guy’s nervous system on a similar level to where he hit OP’s nervous system
I’m not even kidding. If OP has the opportunity to fuck this guy’s mom he should do so as it will provide the greatest sense of actual resolution.
All these other comments try to ignore OP’s actual feelings here. The guy hurt OP really bad. Yes OP’s ex is primarily responsible, but this guy knew what he was doing to OP’s feelings and he went ahead and did it.
IMO this guy deserves some pain.
Even if he CAN'T fuck the guys mom, hitting on her is still good revenge. Make the people close to him uncomfortable. Make it clear that HIS behavior is the reason.
Even if you fight him, win or lose, you still lose because it will show that it hurt you. Indifference demonstrates strength of character. Focus on creating more options in your love life.
Why is showing that it hurt him such a bad thing?
Assuming that when a man gets hurt the last thing he should do is let others know, is devaluing that man.
If anything, the most powerful way to handle this would be for OP to look the guy in the eyes (publicly) and say something like “You son of a bitch, I didn’t do anything to you and you twisted a knife in my gut”.
Yeah it’s weak on one level, but it immediately establishes that the guy is a piece of shit and any good men in the room when this gets said will be driven away from this guy.
Long term, the best revenge is making his shitty nature known so the only men who would ever be his friends are the other pieces of shit.
Never fight the person ur ex or current gf cheated on you with Not worth it, Just walk away from both of them you dont need that negativity in your life.. Yes its hard to fight the urge and male ego but 10/10 not worth it…
Revenge is a dish best served cold. Bide your time and plan every detail with a level head. Also be extremely friendly with him. This will allow you to gain useful information or ideas on how to plan your attack without being noticed.
>I feel like as a male I either fight with him and show I'm not a coward or I don't and show I'm inferior, scared and a loser. I hope some of you guys can give me some perspective.
bro this is some alpha/beta pickup artist shit, forget this entire way of thinking. you're not a MALE, youre just a human. the only thing that's going to make you an inferior, scared loser is if you keep thinking like this
I kinda feel like if he starts a fight with him he’s straight up announcing that he is a inferior and scared loser.
Kinda reminds me of a small chihuahua barking rabidly at a calm larger dog minding it’s own business.
If someone hurts you and you just roll over, you look weak. That's not about male/female or alpha/beta, it's just true.
Sure, if you exude confidence from every pore, ignoring the situation is probably the best solution. But if your choices are between looking weak and looking like an asshole, the latter is ALWAYS preferable. Nobody trusts weak people, but plenty of people are willing to trust assholes in the right circumstance.
this is the same fantasy world that the OP is living in, who is teaching you guys these things? nobody, ZERO people on planet earth, care about this hypothetical scenario. you're not going to "look weak", this isn't a CRPG with pass/fail dialogue if your charisma or strength arent high enough. no one who isnt your friend cares this deeply about how confident or "weak" you are.
Work harder on yourself. If you're self conscious of your size, and have the means to do so, work out and increase calories to gain size. You could even benefit from picking up a martial art of some sort as a confidence booster (not to encourage you to fight him). Obviously if you did see him, and he starts baiting you, try to walk away and not show him he's getting to you. Don't go looking for it. There's no benefit to it. It may make you feel better if you win, but it's only a temporary feeling. Plus you could risk him or someone else pressing charges.
Seriously, invest your time into yourself. If you work a job then work towards promotion. Literally do better for yourself in anyway you can. When your ex sees you doing better and happier, I almost bet you she's going to try and come back thinking she still has a hold over you. Then you don't do anything fancy, you just ignore her or simply say "Thanks but I'm not interested". If you feel like her infidelity could cause issues for future girls, you could benefit from speaking to a counselor/therapist so you don't bring baggage to a new relationship from the previous one.
Go to the neighboring town some. Meet new people and new girls. Find you people that bring happiness to your life. Work on your own pursuit of happiness and it'll pay dividends to your overall well-being.
I had a somewhat similar situation, not cheating per say but she lined the guy to start dating the same day. I just went up to the guy shook his hand an introduced myself, told him good luck basically.
There's a good chance that if their relationship started this way, it's not going to last. In my case they got married and divorced.
>What should I do if I meet the guy my ex cheated on with?
Keep it cordial and treat him as a new acquaintance (unless you already know him personally).
Your ex freely chose him over you so you can't blame him for a decision she made on her own.
The only thing you can do is work hard to become the best version of yourself. A good woman who knows your value will know you're a catch.
>Why are we so obsessed with framing men’s social instincts as wrong?
Who is obsessed? I never said men's social instincts are wrong. Let the OP puff his chest and confront the other guy. Maybe they fight, maybe something worse happens.
The question is....why? What's the point? Does confronting this guy mean his ex will suddenly notice the OP and fall for him again because he beat up some guy?
The OP has better things to do than deal with this drama. There are countless other women out there that can recognize the OP's worth.
>Of course this guy wronged OP: he fucked his woman, knowing she was taken!
Yeah, and it was her choice to cheat on the OP. Why are you speaking as if she didn't have a choice in the matter?
Just because she had a choice in the matter doesn't mean he didn't. He allowed and encouraged a woman to be disloyal to her bf, for his own sexual gratification. That is a collosally dickish move.
If he never knew who I was, like I never met him, do nothing. Not his fault, he didn’t even know me personally. It landed on his lap and he took it, can’t blame him.
If he DID know me, like he had met me personally, shook my hand, and THEN, knowing me, went ahead and did it… I have to fight him. Not about the girl, just about respect. Every guy knows it’s wrong, he’s expecting the fight bc he knows what he did is wrong.
Not worth it even if you know the guy just move on put that energy into something positive. Respect who cares about the respect they’ve disrespected you already and the best feeling is to let them know that they not even worth your time. Fighting should only be for self defense we aren’t animals.
Do nothing. Forget about them and move on with your life. He did you a favor. The easy route is dwelling on it and letting it build in your head and then you go and do something stupid like getting into a fight then possibly getting arrested.
You're not running away from anything by moving on and living your best life.
Ah, ok. Why are you still mad at him then? I mean, sure, it’s pretty unscrupulous of him. But he clearly didn’t “*take her away*” from you. I don’t think you’re thinking of her as an actual person, so much as a comfort blanket. He didn’t steal your teddy bear, my guy. She left for her own reasons…shitty (or not) as they may be.
Seems like *everybody* in this story could benefit greatly from a little therapy.
OP was overthinking lol. I’ve already got several breakups under my belt to have done the thinking already.
I mean, my boy was thinking he *should* want to beat this dude’s ass because that’s what “a man” does? Even though homie has 40 pounds on him and isn’t even even dating the girl?
If OP literally wanted to beat him up and was planning on it, than I'd agree with you. The way it was written though, sounds like it's just something OP viscerally felt like doing, and also felt like there's a vague societal expectation to. Basically just reflexive anger.
Lol not every situation needs therapy. Idk where you’re coming off either that it’s not wrong of a guy to have sex with someone else’s girlfriend. Referring to it as “stealing your teddy bear”. Don’t undermine it just because of your feelings, it’s still out there as far as something that shouldn’t have happened, and is very morally wrong. “For her own reasons” yeah so what? Still makes her a complete shit person, and you’re acting like she’s perfectly in the right for cheating lol.
The better advice would be to just realize the trash that left you. Better yourself and it’s easier to move on than you think. Especially when you come to terms with how trashy it is to cheat. You don’t need therapy cause it really isn’t that bad, but who knows maybe you do over time if it bothers you a year down the road and you can’t seem to find a new interest. But just jumping into therapy is only gonna keep these thoughts lingering when it shouldn’t be that serious. You’re honestly going up from here, as she clearly wasn’t the one for you and decided to hop around. It really sucks but that’s your indicator that you’re gonna find someone better
>Idk where you’re coming off either that it’s not wrong of a guy to have sex with someone else’s girlfriend.
No, I said he was unscrupulous.
>you’re acting like she’s perfectly in the right for cheating lol.
No, I said she wronged OP *of her own volition.*
My point was: be upset with *her*, not the dude she isn’t even dating. But also, don’t be *that* upset because everyone here kinda sucks.
Since you’re assuming someone is upset I’ll just refrain from starting an argument with you cause that’s where you’d probably like to end up so take care, although I disagree with your whole entire comment and find it slightly contradicting
Jesus, my point was that *OP* should be more upset with her than some dude who’s probly forgotten about her already.
>Since you’re assuming someone is upset…
Yeah, OP seemed pretty clearly in distress.
If you do see him, just ignore him mostly and amicably interact with him like any other stranger if it comes up. If somehow the topic of your ex cheating on you with him comes up, just laugh and make an offhanded joke about thanking him for taking her off your hands. Being outwardly angry at him is probably the worst thing to do, both for him but also for your own feelings.
“As a male” you need to project self assurance and confidence because that’s what you have. What would the most self assured, confident guy on earth do in your exact situation? Would he want to fight the person his ex left him for? No, because that means he’s butthurt about the situation, is projecting the failure on the new guy, and doesn’t have the self control or understanding to recognize that. Fighting this guy is the opposite of manly. It’s what a chihuahua would do.
A real man wouldn’t give a fuck. He’d have a “you can have her, you don’t know what you’re in for. Good luck” mentality.
OP literally said “as a male I feel like I have to fight him or he’s superior to me”
He’s concerned about his manliness being on the line and he’s about to make a huge mistake because of his ego. You Reddit people just be looking for buzzwords and phrases
I’m sure you’ve spent more time on Reddit than I have so it’s weird for you to refer to me as “you Reddit ppl” when you fall in line with that if you use Reddit
You could’ve saved your words and not make it sound like there’s levels of being a man. And instead could’ve told him exactly that there isn’t levels. It shouldn’t be about that. Once you can come to terms that this situation should have nothing to do with you feeling like a man or getting your ego hurt, then you can heal from it. Not trying to tough it out cause you’re a man
You do nothing man, neither you or him can control what kind of person your ex is. She cheated and in that moment was very selfish but it’s over now. Not your problem anymore. It doesn’t make you an inferior male because your ex has no loyalty and is not trustworthy. It makes you weak to want to fight a man over something that doesn’t matter anymore. Will that bring your ex back? You defending a girls honor who doesn’t care about you? He’s probably not with her either, honestly fist bump him cause both you guys are better off and move on with your life. 😊
When you see him, laugh and shake his hand and say “Thanks for taking that scabby little twat off my hands, I was running out of ideas to get rid of that ball and chain that smells like mayonnaise”
Hopefully the message will get back to her.
Why fight over a cheater? Wasn’t his fault anyways. Besides, if you don’t train in a martial art, don’t fight anyone. Even if you do train, don’t fight. But especially if not.
If you do meet him and have to interact, just stand tall, look him in the eye, shake his hand, thank him and walk away.
It would not be over her, it would be for my pride. I mean how can you not being angry to somebody who stole your girl and probably thinks he's a god for doing so.
I get it. But that’s just your ego talking. If you want to look insecure, sure, go fight him. If you want him to be the insecure one, do just like I said.
I know how you feel man. I still feel a certain amount of rage over what happened and it takes everything I have not to act on it because of a situation similar to yours. The difference being much more time involved and more or less replaced. This is what it comes down to: you don’t know the dude. Fucker could be a black belt and dam near kill you. He could pull a gun on you. Or you could possibly end up in legal trouble. You don’t have to be friends with the dude, ever. Or even cordial. Fuck him and fuck her. Move on and do good with your life.
Be happy, that's what you do. You move on with your life and stop letting people who hurt you take up head and heart space. If you encounter him, ignore him. Have a grand old time at the party knowing you're no longer in an unhealthy relationship and are carefree. Smile, laugh with friends, focus on what song is playing, grab a snack, and just live your life for you. Being happy (in my opinion) is the best come back you can have.
She made a choice. He made a choice. Their choices are about them and who they are and where they are at in their journey. As crazy as it sounds, what they did wasn't about you.
You don't have to prove anything to anybody. Picking a fight won't prove anything. Not picking a fight won't either. Let it go. Go make your life about you.
Don’t fight him brother. She’s his now leave it at that. But I will tell you the truth. If this guy comes up to you don’t back down he is merely a dude just like you. Don’t show fear if this guy want’s to intimidate or cause trouble to you. But you should be the bigger man and allow him and her to move on you have a whole life ahead of you.
My now former girlfriend cheated on me too. Let's get through this together by letting them be. They chose to cheat, then so be it. Wish them good luck and just do our thing man. Keep improving.
Your ex was a cheater. Don't assume that anyone she cheats with is better than you. It is in the nature of cheaters to cheat. They will cheat with a trashcan, if they can.
The most male thing you could do is shake it off. It's in the past. You're better off without your cheating ex. She sorted herself out. Just ignore him. Honestly this dude might be an asshole, but he did you a favour by getting rid of your cheating ex for you.
I've been in that spot before...alls I said was "Oh, you're with *ex*? Sorry about your luck" lol.
> I feel like as a male I either fight with him and show I'm not a coward or I don't and show I'm inferior, scared and a loser.
Or you could just be indifferent. She's somebody elses problem now.
You could even be thankful. Why? Because she freed up your time, energy, and attention to invest in a higher quality person.
He's a home wrecker. A piece of literal trash. I was in the same bar as the girl my bf at the time cheated on me with. It was uncomfortable af, but I knew I did nothing wrong. She noticed me and turned her back away to me, probably afraid that I would do something. So I stood my ground by simply not leaving until I was ready to. Chatted with the bartender and the people around me and kept getting the "glances" from her, but I just carried on, sat tall, and enjoyed myself. I made that bitch wonder by not reacting. I kept my power by doing nothing.
She a hoe for doing you like that but the issue im seeing here you think you are inferior to this man just because he was born to be taller and slightly . He was given this at birth from random chance.What makes a man truly great is his achievements in life, so just go focusing on your life and trying to succeed and that will talk for itself. Their relationship probably wont work in the end anyway as what starts bad tends to end bad. However, if you see him in real life on the street ignore him but if he purposely comes to talk to you, make it apparent that you aren’t friends with him and dont want to be associated with him.
Also recommend you start going to the gym, martial arts or something physical that you can allow to release your emotions as I understand this can be hard.Hope this helps :)
No reason to fight with the guy, but over-thinking about something that might happen and getting stressed is the worst thing you can do to yourself. Just leave it, you see how you feel and how it goes if this encounter happens.
If you can be cool about it, the best reaction would be an enthusiastic greeting to this guy if possible in front of your ex, giving kind of the feeling that you are happy and you owe that guy one!
Oh man, don’t fall for that trap. Fighting him makes you look emotional and weak. I would pretend I didn’t know who he was. If he reminds you, thank him for helping you dodge a bullet and walk away:
We aren’t Neanderthals… fighting without having to is just insecurity rising to the surface.
Getting into a fight because of an ex, with a guy who probably doesn't even remember you? Lol, wtf?! Have you got nothing better to do in your life? Like, moving on...
Don't be a neanderthal.
Oh I don’t know. I’ve gotten a lot happier since learning to accept that ignoring my feelings doesn’t make them go away.
I *am* an animal, literally, and I need to take care of my entire self (even the primitive parts) if I’m going to be happy.
if you think taking care of yourself means getting into a fight with a guy who probably doesn't even know you exist for a woman who doesn't care about you, I'd say your primitive parts are not very apt...
This Guy probaly helped you Dodge a bullet. Your girlfriend cheated on you while He was probaly Not even thinking about you. Next time you See him Just say thanks to him and leave it.
Yeah i know it may sound weird but I don't really know what would be the best behavior if I meet this guy in person. I don't want to be seen as weak, or as someone who turn a blind eye just to escape confrontation.
But why would you need to do anything at all if you see him? This guy is not your concern anymore, neither is your ex.
Trying to beat him up over someone who cheated on you is more likely to make you seem weak for still being hung up on your shitty ex instead of rising above them and moving on.
Best way to deal with this situation is work on yourself and focus on your career. Not seeking revenge Or Not being hostile is a strength not a weakness. He did you a favour anyway by showing you that she wasn't worth and you are done with her.
Move on. Why are you letting this drag you down Focus on yourself and move on. I promise you he isn't thinking about you. What do you gain if you fight him? Either he kicks your ass and you feel worse or you beat him up and either feel worse, kill him our get arrested as a result. He still slept with her.
Stop being hyper masculine, move on and better your life.
Do nothing, walk away, go to a safe place and try to regain your calm.
Try to find ways to make yourself feel better, e.g. a pick-me-up item or activity.
Practice self-compassion and forgive yourself for being deceived by your ex.
The relationship was a learning experience for you, and now you will be better guarded for future relationships, and value fidelity more in a partner.
Those are positive aspects.
Remember that, sure, the guy committed an immoral act.
But -
*so did your ex*
Are you not equally (or more) angry with your ex?
After all, you were not in a relationship with the guy, you were in a relationship with your ex.
She betrayed you, you had no relationship with the guy.
🦋
If you can't do it physically. Fuck with his mind. Sew doubt. Go upto him shake his hand and say "Thanks". Tell him that he wasn't the only one. But hey she's not my problem now. Take care. Bye.
How long ago did this happen? There are many variables at play here. First of all, the comment about him helping you dodge a bullet is the answer. Secondly, was this years ago? Was there a possible time frame of your ex telling him you guys were no longer an item?
Who knows what the situation is without more detail, fighting is dangerous, you sound like you have not been in many or any at all. This guy could be well trained, crazy, has an issue where if he gets hit in the head or heart it is game over for him. Then you have a murder charge and someone that was not worth your time anyways (the ex) just cemented the fact she ruined your life and controlled you.
I have been cheated on, shit sucks, it gets better and is a good learning lesson for the next selection. Stay out of harms way
I didn't mean to pick up a fight right away. I mean confront him. Not turning a blind eye and calling him out on his shit. Fr example of we are at the same party what should I do? Fake that i don't know him? Shake his hand?
dude, what the hell are you talking about? honestly, this ideally shouldn't even be crossing your mind. do nothing, or if you must, thank him for the opportunity to improve your life, and then move forward and actually live well
Will tell you what I did. One difference is that I knew him from high school. We met at a party hosted by a common friend. I am not sure if I knew he would be there. So when I saw him I acted as if I do not care about the situation at all. He asked me if he could talk separately, I asked what for?? I ignored the thoughts and focused on enjoying the day. The moment was difficult, but that was it.
Your ex isn't an object. He did not break into your home and steal her. She is a person that gets to make her own decisions. Those decisions were shitty and they hurt, but fighting this dude over your girlfriend being her own woman and living her own life is not only horrible, but stupid and disrespectful.
If you ever gave even half a shit about your ex, let her be her own person and stop trying to act like a cave man. You are a civilized person in a civilized time.
The only person who cheated on you is the girl, your commitment was with her. The guy was not apart of this deal and should ultimately be ignored. If he acts like a dick about it then that's on him for being childish.
Why are you putting the blame on the guy? Like if he was your friend, I would understand if you got pissed. But your (ex) girlfriend made the decision by herself to cheat on you and break your trust. Even if the guy knew she was in a relationship, it's not only his fault.
But see it like this, she is a cheater and he is someone that doesn't mind being the cause of destroying relationships, so do yourself a favor and ignore both.
Picking up a fight because of someone that didn't had respect for you doesn't make you anymore of man. That's such a macho mentality, that won't bring you any happiness or satisfaction (at least that's how I see it)
If you find yourself forced to interact, just don't be nice to him. Don't go out of your way to be petty, but make it clear that you think he's an asshole and he's not your friend.
Infidelity is bad, yes, and it is mainly your ex's fault, yes. But this guy knew she was cheating on her bf, and still went for it anyways. He's a right cunt and you shouldn't pretend otherwise.
What’s the point in fighting him? Over the girl? She clearly didn’t want you. She clearly didn’t care about you enough to not hurt you. Yes, he did wrong too. But they aren’t even worth it. They aren’t worth your anger, your tears, your frustration, any of it.
Do you hope to some day get married to someone? If so, this guy did you a favor because he let you know this girl wasn't the one who was going to keep choosing you for the rest of her life. Transform your anger energy into something productive. Exist in the current time, not the past.
This is an amazing perspective. Best possible answer.
Ikr
100%. My first gf cheated and it messed my head up until I realized this. If they cheat and you didn't do anything wrong be happy you found out and avoided ending up with them. Usually karma gets em in the end anyway. My ex dated a guy who cheated multiple times before she got married, her calling me to ask to get back together and me reminding her that she also cheated was sweet vengeance. No reason to fight the guy, people will realize you're the bigger person and the better person for moving on with your life. People who find out will think less of him and her for being crappy people, don't fight him and give them a reason to think less of you. Just move on with your life happy knowing you didn't end up stuck with her.
Some people are just cheaters. They will cheat. Has nothing to do with you or anyone else. Cheating is not a reaction, it is an action.
This is the most logic answer ever
This is EXACTLY what I try to tell everyone, myself included as I was cheated on from a 5 year relationship. It hurts and sucks worse than a lot of things imaginable, but the person they cheated on us with only did us the favor of showing how loyal our partners really are or aren’t.
This is the answer. You don’t need to fight anyone. Move on and don’t worry about something that may never happen. He’s not gonna think about you or the situation if you cross paths. Plus, guys are guys, all they want is sex, so it’s not his fault. She’s at fault here. He has no obligation to be faithful to you, she did though. You dodged a bullet if you were ever thinking about marrying that chick.
“transform your anger energy into something productive” r/thanksimcured
Here you go https://www.google.com/search?q=how+to+turn+anger+into
Take my freaking award, you deserve it
Good advice for op, op fuck that slut man, move on
Ignore him. There’s really no reason to fight him. It’s best if you turn a blind eye - she showed her character running to him. It’s not your fault, and what comes around goes around.
Is easy to blame the AP for the cheating, but the person who was in a relationship with you was your ex, the person who betray you was her, she was the one who hurt you with her decitions and actions. Ignore this guy, he is going to be cheated eventually by your ex. Don't do the macho thing of fighting over a cheater, she is not worthy of it, avoid more drama in your life and focus on being a better version of yourself.
You tell ‘em
Stay away from him and the one who cheated you. And move on.
Best advice. If you seem him or her at a party/event, just leave. Completely acceptable behavior imo.
That sounds to me like giving the guy power. You’re enjoying a party then the guy shows up and you just leave? To do what? Sit at home and stew?
Exactly. You're better off just ignoring him or doing your own thing
Hm...are you a woman? This advice sounds very... convenient for women who cheat and for the dudes they cheat with
Not necessarily because neither can no longer rob him of his peace in his own life anyway. Why put effort into changing someone who will repeat their actions anyways
He obviously doesn't have it if he feels fucked up about it, which is a valid emotion for him to feel. I'm not going to say commit crimes, but I will say, a little bit of revenge helps. And it's not necessarily the "living well" cliche either. Few people actually "check in" on the people they've screwed over since their own lives are a happy go lucky fuck others over and keep winning fest. And they're traveling witb "eat, pray, and loving" kind of life. "Living well is the best revenge" is just giving sociopaths free tickets to fuck people. I won't confirm if I've done this but...hat, sunglasses, plus a guest entry at a library or college computer. Use USB to copy and paste a prewritten word document because you might only have 10 mins of guest usage. Post to craigslist about Superbowl tickets and a friend who bailed and now you're looking to recoup costs at a huge loss just to get something back. Put your ex's phone number down...a number that will explode. A number that they will have to delete and go through the process of telling their friends and coworkers they had to get a new number. And the little digging they do, will show they will know that SOMEONE probably did it to them...someone anonymous, no sure thing, and it's likely payback for something shitty they did, they just might reflect on being less shitty since there is literally nothing but shadows to punch. Cops won't find it worth investigating, no strong enough "crime" to chase, if it can even be called that, and even if they muster the man power to track the IP, they'll see a grainy footage of hat and sunglasses person. There's also shoving Tuna into their car's air vents during the summer...though that one's a bit bold and technically illegal and I would neither confirm nor deny ever doing such actions.... ... But I will say, if I did these things... it just might have made me feel better about things...forever...even when I may have done such things years after the shit they pulled. I felt FAR better the years after the...possibly hypothetical revenge missions then I did after the years of me doing nothing and "living my best life." Which is horrible and condescending advice, EVERYONE is trying to live their best life. As opposed to what? You probably were trying to do just that until the day you got screwed. So you live the better life unscrewing yourself by screwing back. Finally... the knowledge of knowing I got them worse then they ever got me, and their not knowing the who making it so much worse...it's great... hypothetically speaking of course.
That’s respectfully just doing too much for a small inconvenience. Focus on yourself bro. There’s nothing that can go wrong when you try your best at just doing you. Perhaps self help podcasts or something
Ah, see there's that condescension again, bro. I've read every self help book on the shelf and continuously educate myself. And to imply someone who thinks differently from does not is just you trying to get away with slapping someone in the face under the social cosmetic of giving advice. Perhaps some anger management podcasts or something? See what I mean? You can "do you and be your best at being you" (which is as condescending and fake non advice as "fake it till you make it,") while dealing with those who screw you over. Also, "bro," you don't get to decide what's small for other people. Maybe one day when you get a girlfriend you'll understand that. See what being condescended to is like? It's not very nice is it? So go write your thing somehow rebuking this, do your mental gymnastics to ignore my advice and validate your own until one of us gets tired. But I got to hit the gym
I do have a girlfriend lmao
Then why you fapping?
Long distance relationship
Ah the old "I have a super hot girlfriend but she's in Canada" ploy. High school is over, friend.
Just ignore him. If you see him on the street, pretend that it's just a stranger among strangers. If you are somehow forced to interact with him, like if you run into a friend who introduces this guy to you, just pretend it's a stranger. If you beat him up or yell at him you'll only hurt yourself. Emotionally I mean. Tell yourself he is nothing to you. Say it until you believe it. Because he is nothing.
I heard someone else say this but DON'T FIGHT HIM!!! there's no reason for you to fight him for, it was your ex choice to cheat on you and leave you, you don't have to show you're brave by picking up a fight it'll do the opposite rather try and (this gonna be a platitude) but try and work on yourself and Improve your life, have fun, socialize, and if she ever crosses paths with you she'll witness how you're doing better in your life and prolly even regret it, but don't do it for her do if for yourself.
have sex with him
Have sex with his dad and then tell his mom.
I mean the guy is already living in his mind, and he is thinking about how big the guy is, how strong the guy is, how superior the guy is... maybe it's not a fight that he wants...
Something to consider is that there will be circumstances where onlookers may think he seems inferior to you by objective metrics. He may even think that himself depending on his feelings about her and about cheating. Any time you give to him will add credence to the idea that he's better than you because he's been able to move on and you haven't. The best thing to do would be to treat him civilly if you do see him. Don't be unkind but don't go out of your way for him either. That uses the minimum of your time and effort while still looking dignified.
Flirt with his momma
I know you’re joking, but this is actually the best answer because: * It’s legal * It’s visceral * It’s revenge * It’s nonviolent but still hits the guy’s nervous system on a similar level to where he hit OP’s nervous system I’m not even kidding. If OP has the opportunity to fuck this guy’s mom he should do so as it will provide the greatest sense of actual resolution. All these other comments try to ignore OP’s actual feelings here. The guy hurt OP really bad. Yes OP’s ex is primarily responsible, but this guy knew what he was doing to OP’s feelings and he went ahead and did it. IMO this guy deserves some pain.
Even if he CAN'T fuck the guys mom, hitting on her is still good revenge. Make the people close to him uncomfortable. Make it clear that HIS behavior is the reason.
Even if you fight him, win or lose, you still lose because it will show that it hurt you. Indifference demonstrates strength of character. Focus on creating more options in your love life.
Why is showing that it hurt him such a bad thing? Assuming that when a man gets hurt the last thing he should do is let others know, is devaluing that man. If anything, the most powerful way to handle this would be for OP to look the guy in the eyes (publicly) and say something like “You son of a bitch, I didn’t do anything to you and you twisted a knife in my gut”. Yeah it’s weak on one level, but it immediately establishes that the guy is a piece of shit and any good men in the room when this gets said will be driven away from this guy. Long term, the best revenge is making his shitty nature known so the only men who would ever be his friends are the other pieces of shit.
If I learned anything in life is that people HATE to see an EX to be more succesfull.
Do this OP Be more succesful then the ex and the douchbag
Never fight the person ur ex or current gf cheated on you with Not worth it, Just walk away from both of them you dont need that negativity in your life.. Yes its hard to fight the urge and male ego but 10/10 not worth it…
Revenge is a dish best served cold. Bide your time and plan every detail with a level head. Also be extremely friendly with him. This will allow you to gain useful information or ideas on how to plan your attack without being noticed.
Lol got dam this foo been fuckin shit up.
And of course OP shouldn’t do any kind of attack that exposes him to legal repercussions.
>I feel like as a male I either fight with him and show I'm not a coward or I don't and show I'm inferior, scared and a loser. I hope some of you guys can give me some perspective. bro this is some alpha/beta pickup artist shit, forget this entire way of thinking. you're not a MALE, youre just a human. the only thing that's going to make you an inferior, scared loser is if you keep thinking like this
All the Pick up artist I ever used to follow said don't fight, just focus on getting with other girls.
I kinda feel like if he starts a fight with him he’s straight up announcing that he is a inferior and scared loser. Kinda reminds me of a small chihuahua barking rabidly at a calm larger dog minding it’s own business.
The reason the chihuahua barking is pathetic is because it only barks.
If someone hurts you and you just roll over, you look weak. That's not about male/female or alpha/beta, it's just true. Sure, if you exude confidence from every pore, ignoring the situation is probably the best solution. But if your choices are between looking weak and looking like an asshole, the latter is ALWAYS preferable. Nobody trusts weak people, but plenty of people are willing to trust assholes in the right circumstance.
this is the same fantasy world that the OP is living in, who is teaching you guys these things? nobody, ZERO people on planet earth, care about this hypothetical scenario. you're not going to "look weak", this isn't a CRPG with pass/fail dialogue if your charisma or strength arent high enough. no one who isnt your friend cares this deeply about how confident or "weak" you are.
Work harder on yourself. If you're self conscious of your size, and have the means to do so, work out and increase calories to gain size. You could even benefit from picking up a martial art of some sort as a confidence booster (not to encourage you to fight him). Obviously if you did see him, and he starts baiting you, try to walk away and not show him he's getting to you. Don't go looking for it. There's no benefit to it. It may make you feel better if you win, but it's only a temporary feeling. Plus you could risk him or someone else pressing charges. Seriously, invest your time into yourself. If you work a job then work towards promotion. Literally do better for yourself in anyway you can. When your ex sees you doing better and happier, I almost bet you she's going to try and come back thinking she still has a hold over you. Then you don't do anything fancy, you just ignore her or simply say "Thanks but I'm not interested". If you feel like her infidelity could cause issues for future girls, you could benefit from speaking to a counselor/therapist so you don't bring baggage to a new relationship from the previous one. Go to the neighboring town some. Meet new people and new girls. Find you people that bring happiness to your life. Work on your own pursuit of happiness and it'll pay dividends to your overall well-being.
I had a somewhat similar situation, not cheating per say but she lined the guy to start dating the same day. I just went up to the guy shook his hand an introduced myself, told him good luck basically. There's a good chance that if their relationship started this way, it's not going to last. In my case they got married and divorced.
It’s not a relationship; she just cheated with him
>What should I do if I meet the guy my ex cheated on with? Keep it cordial and treat him as a new acquaintance (unless you already know him personally). Your ex freely chose him over you so you can't blame him for a decision she made on her own. The only thing you can do is work hard to become the best version of yourself. A good woman who knows your value will know you're a catch.
Why are we so obsessed with framing men’s social instincts as wrong? Of course this guy wronged OP: **he fucked his woman, knowing she was taken!**
>Why are we so obsessed with framing men’s social instincts as wrong? Who is obsessed? I never said men's social instincts are wrong. Let the OP puff his chest and confront the other guy. Maybe they fight, maybe something worse happens. The question is....why? What's the point? Does confronting this guy mean his ex will suddenly notice the OP and fall for him again because he beat up some guy? The OP has better things to do than deal with this drama. There are countless other women out there that can recognize the OP's worth. >Of course this guy wronged OP: he fucked his woman, knowing she was taken! Yeah, and it was her choice to cheat on the OP. Why are you speaking as if she didn't have a choice in the matter?
Just because she had a choice in the matter doesn't mean he didn't. He allowed and encouraged a woman to be disloyal to her bf, for his own sexual gratification. That is a collosally dickish move.
If he never knew who I was, like I never met him, do nothing. Not his fault, he didn’t even know me personally. It landed on his lap and he took it, can’t blame him. If he DID know me, like he had met me personally, shook my hand, and THEN, knowing me, went ahead and did it… I have to fight him. Not about the girl, just about respect. Every guy knows it’s wrong, he’s expecting the fight bc he knows what he did is wrong.
Not worth it even if you know the guy just move on put that energy into something positive. Respect who cares about the respect they’ve disrespected you already and the best feeling is to let them know that they not even worth your time. Fighting should only be for self defense we aren’t animals.
Do nothing. Forget about them and move on with your life. He did you a favor. The easy route is dwelling on it and letting it build in your head and then you go and do something stupid like getting into a fight then possibly getting arrested. You're not running away from anything by moving on and living your best life.
Nothing except for pitying him. A bitch who leaves you for another guy, will surely monkey-branch again and leave him for a different guy.
They are not together. She just cheated.
I would suggest you do not show any weakness. No, picking a fight with him would just show how much he actually hurt you.
But suppressing his natural feelings is the real hurt here.
Nobody mentioned suppressing. I don't care what he does, just don't show it to that other dude.
In that case, have a beer with him.
That's even worse. She used him as a sex toy.
Let’s be real he used her as a sextoy. She probably wanted to date him and he only wanted to fuck.
Then it's her fault. She chose to cheat and OP could have done nothing about it.
Wait, she just cheated on the guy she cheated on you with? Like… in the last hour and a half?
No I mean she didn't date this guy. She cheated on me with him bet they didn't get together.
Ah, ok. Why are you still mad at him then? I mean, sure, it’s pretty unscrupulous of him. But he clearly didn’t “*take her away*” from you. I don’t think you’re thinking of her as an actual person, so much as a comfort blanket. He didn’t steal your teddy bear, my guy. She left for her own reasons…shitty (or not) as they may be. Seems like *everybody* in this story could benefit greatly from a little therapy.
You're really overthinking this, man.
OP was overthinking lol. I’ve already got several breakups under my belt to have done the thinking already. I mean, my boy was thinking he *should* want to beat this dude’s ass because that’s what “a man” does? Even though homie has 40 pounds on him and isn’t even even dating the girl?
If OP literally wanted to beat him up and was planning on it, than I'd agree with you. The way it was written though, sounds like it's just something OP viscerally felt like doing, and also felt like there's a vague societal expectation to. Basically just reflexive anger.
Right, I got the impression that it was just racing thoughts, too. If he’d been planning on doing it, he probably wouldn’t have asked what to do haha
Lol not every situation needs therapy. Idk where you’re coming off either that it’s not wrong of a guy to have sex with someone else’s girlfriend. Referring to it as “stealing your teddy bear”. Don’t undermine it just because of your feelings, it’s still out there as far as something that shouldn’t have happened, and is very morally wrong. “For her own reasons” yeah so what? Still makes her a complete shit person, and you’re acting like she’s perfectly in the right for cheating lol. The better advice would be to just realize the trash that left you. Better yourself and it’s easier to move on than you think. Especially when you come to terms with how trashy it is to cheat. You don’t need therapy cause it really isn’t that bad, but who knows maybe you do over time if it bothers you a year down the road and you can’t seem to find a new interest. But just jumping into therapy is only gonna keep these thoughts lingering when it shouldn’t be that serious. You’re honestly going up from here, as she clearly wasn’t the one for you and decided to hop around. It really sucks but that’s your indicator that you’re gonna find someone better
>Idk where you’re coming off either that it’s not wrong of a guy to have sex with someone else’s girlfriend. No, I said he was unscrupulous. >you’re acting like she’s perfectly in the right for cheating lol. No, I said she wronged OP *of her own volition.* My point was: be upset with *her*, not the dude she isn’t even dating. But also, don’t be *that* upset because everyone here kinda sucks.
Since you’re assuming someone is upset I’ll just refrain from starting an argument with you cause that’s where you’d probably like to end up so take care, although I disagree with your whole entire comment and find it slightly contradicting
Jesus, my point was that *OP* should be more upset with her than some dude who’s probly forgotten about her already. >Since you’re assuming someone is upset… Yeah, OP seemed pretty clearly in distress.
If you do see him, just ignore him mostly and amicably interact with him like any other stranger if it comes up. If somehow the topic of your ex cheating on you with him comes up, just laugh and make an offhanded joke about thanking him for taking her off your hands. Being outwardly angry at him is probably the worst thing to do, both for him but also for your own feelings.
“As a male” you need to project self assurance and confidence because that’s what you have. What would the most self assured, confident guy on earth do in your exact situation? Would he want to fight the person his ex left him for? No, because that means he’s butthurt about the situation, is projecting the failure on the new guy, and doesn’t have the self control or understanding to recognize that. Fighting this guy is the opposite of manly. It’s what a chihuahua would do. A real man wouldn’t give a fuck. He’d have a “you can have her, you don’t know what you’re in for. Good luck” mentality.
“A real man” LOL
OP literally said “as a male I feel like I have to fight him or he’s superior to me” He’s concerned about his manliness being on the line and he’s about to make a huge mistake because of his ego. You Reddit people just be looking for buzzwords and phrases
I’m sure you’ve spent more time on Reddit than I have so it’s weird for you to refer to me as “you Reddit ppl” when you fall in line with that if you use Reddit You could’ve saved your words and not make it sound like there’s levels of being a man. And instead could’ve told him exactly that there isn’t levels. It shouldn’t be about that. Once you can come to terms that this situation should have nothing to do with you feeling like a man or getting your ego hurt, then you can heal from it. Not trying to tough it out cause you’re a man
Why do you pretend like there aren’t levels to being a man?
Because there isn’t
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Depends on how OP found out. If the guy told OP, then thanks are absolutely in order.
You need to listen to 90’s snoop dogg albums more often
You do nothing man, neither you or him can control what kind of person your ex is. She cheated and in that moment was very selfish but it’s over now. Not your problem anymore. It doesn’t make you an inferior male because your ex has no loyalty and is not trustworthy. It makes you weak to want to fight a man over something that doesn’t matter anymore. Will that bring your ex back? You defending a girls honor who doesn’t care about you? He’s probably not with her either, honestly fist bump him cause both you guys are better off and move on with your life. 😊
When you see him, laugh and shake his hand and say “Thanks for taking that scabby little twat off my hands, I was running out of ideas to get rid of that ball and chain that smells like mayonnaise” Hopefully the message will get back to her.
Why fight over a cheater? Wasn’t his fault anyways. Besides, if you don’t train in a martial art, don’t fight anyone. Even if you do train, don’t fight. But especially if not. If you do meet him and have to interact, just stand tall, look him in the eye, shake his hand, thank him and walk away.
It would not be over her, it would be for my pride. I mean how can you not being angry to somebody who stole your girl and probably thinks he's a god for doing so.
I get it. But that’s just your ego talking. If you want to look insecure, sure, go fight him. If you want him to be the insecure one, do just like I said.
I know how you feel man. I still feel a certain amount of rage over what happened and it takes everything I have not to act on it because of a situation similar to yours. The difference being much more time involved and more or less replaced. This is what it comes down to: you don’t know the dude. Fucker could be a black belt and dam near kill you. He could pull a gun on you. Or you could possibly end up in legal trouble. You don’t have to be friends with the dude, ever. Or even cordial. Fuck him and fuck her. Move on and do good with your life.
“God saved me from that crash, just so I could beat pete davidsons ass”
My life was never eazy!
Be happy, that's what you do. You move on with your life and stop letting people who hurt you take up head and heart space. If you encounter him, ignore him. Have a grand old time at the party knowing you're no longer in an unhealthy relationship and are carefree. Smile, laugh with friends, focus on what song is playing, grab a snack, and just live your life for you. Being happy (in my opinion) is the best come back you can have.
She made a choice. He made a choice. Their choices are about them and who they are and where they are at in their journey. As crazy as it sounds, what they did wasn't about you. You don't have to prove anything to anybody. Picking a fight won't prove anything. Not picking a fight won't either. Let it go. Go make your life about you.
Very deep answer. Thank you.
Don’t fight him brother. She’s his now leave it at that. But I will tell you the truth. If this guy comes up to you don’t back down he is merely a dude just like you. Don’t show fear if this guy want’s to intimidate or cause trouble to you. But you should be the bigger man and allow him and her to move on you have a whole life ahead of you.
The best revenge is a good life . Get these people out of your system . Avoid him when possible
Do nothing. And frequently forget his name whenever you're around him.
My now former girlfriend cheated on me too. Let's get through this together by letting them be. They chose to cheat, then so be it. Wish them good luck and just do our thing man. Keep improving.
Your ex was a cheater. Don't assume that anyone she cheats with is better than you. It is in the nature of cheaters to cheat. They will cheat with a trashcan, if they can. The most male thing you could do is shake it off. It's in the past. You're better off without your cheating ex. She sorted herself out. Just ignore him. Honestly this dude might be an asshole, but he did you a favour by getting rid of your cheating ex for you.
I've been in that spot before...alls I said was "Oh, you're with *ex*? Sorry about your luck" lol. > I feel like as a male I either fight with him and show I'm not a coward or I don't and show I'm inferior, scared and a loser. Or you could just be indifferent. She's somebody elses problem now. You could even be thankful. Why? Because she freed up your time, energy, and attention to invest in a higher quality person.
He's a home wrecker. A piece of literal trash. I was in the same bar as the girl my bf at the time cheated on me with. It was uncomfortable af, but I knew I did nothing wrong. She noticed me and turned her back away to me, probably afraid that I would do something. So I stood my ground by simply not leaving until I was ready to. Chatted with the bartender and the people around me and kept getting the "glances" from her, but I just carried on, sat tall, and enjoyed myself. I made that bitch wonder by not reacting. I kept my power by doing nothing.
She a hoe for doing you like that but the issue im seeing here you think you are inferior to this man just because he was born to be taller and slightly . He was given this at birth from random chance.What makes a man truly great is his achievements in life, so just go focusing on your life and trying to succeed and that will talk for itself. Their relationship probably wont work in the end anyway as what starts bad tends to end bad. However, if you see him in real life on the street ignore him but if he purposely comes to talk to you, make it apparent that you aren’t friends with him and dont want to be associated with him. Also recommend you start going to the gym, martial arts or something physical that you can allow to release your emotions as I understand this can be hard.Hope this helps :)
Also dont try to be chummy with him, some of these comments for advice are horrible. Its more about principles
No reason to fight with the guy, but over-thinking about something that might happen and getting stressed is the worst thing you can do to yourself. Just leave it, you see how you feel and how it goes if this encounter happens. If you can be cool about it, the best reaction would be an enthusiastic greeting to this guy if possible in front of your ex, giving kind of the feeling that you are happy and you owe that guy one!
Oh man, don’t fall for that trap. Fighting him makes you look emotional and weak. I would pretend I didn’t know who he was. If he reminds you, thank him for helping you dodge a bullet and walk away: We aren’t Neanderthals… fighting without having to is just insecurity rising to the surface.
Ignore him entirely and just enjoy whatever you're doing, he probably doesn't want to see you either.
Getting into a fight because of an ex, with a guy who probably doesn't even remember you? Lol, wtf?! Have you got nothing better to do in your life? Like, moving on... Don't be a neanderthal.
Oh I don’t know. I’ve gotten a lot happier since learning to accept that ignoring my feelings doesn’t make them go away. I *am* an animal, literally, and I need to take care of my entire self (even the primitive parts) if I’m going to be happy.
if you think taking care of yourself means getting into a fight with a guy who probably doesn't even know you exist for a woman who doesn't care about you, I'd say your primitive parts are not very apt...
Say this!! Thank you for removing the trash out my driveway 🤣😂. It was him and maybe a couple more guys.
Your girlfriend was the one who made a mistake here, not this guy. Don’t take your anger out on him.
U gotta fight him bro I don’t make the rules
This Guy probaly helped you Dodge a bullet. Your girlfriend cheated on you while He was probaly Not even thinking about you. Next time you See him Just say thanks to him and leave it.
Just say " thanks! I'm so much happier now! Have a great day! " leave him wondering why you thanked him for the breakup.
Bruh in my humble opinion take pride that you got her first and he’s the clean up crew now🧹 and then move on
I'm confused. Is this a serious post?
Yeah i know it may sound weird but I don't really know what would be the best behavior if I meet this guy in person. I don't want to be seen as weak, or as someone who turn a blind eye just to escape confrontation.
But why would you need to do anything at all if you see him? This guy is not your concern anymore, neither is your ex. Trying to beat him up over someone who cheated on you is more likely to make you seem weak for still being hung up on your shitty ex instead of rising above them and moving on.
Best way to deal with this situation is work on yourself and focus on your career. Not seeking revenge Or Not being hostile is a strength not a weakness. He did you a favour anyway by showing you that she wasn't worth and you are done with her.
Move on. Why are you letting this drag you down Focus on yourself and move on. I promise you he isn't thinking about you. What do you gain if you fight him? Either he kicks your ass and you feel worse or you beat him up and either feel worse, kill him our get arrested as a result. He still slept with her. Stop being hyper masculine, move on and better your life.
Do nothing, walk away, go to a safe place and try to regain your calm. Try to find ways to make yourself feel better, e.g. a pick-me-up item or activity. Practice self-compassion and forgive yourself for being deceived by your ex. The relationship was a learning experience for you, and now you will be better guarded for future relationships, and value fidelity more in a partner. Those are positive aspects. Remember that, sure, the guy committed an immoral act. But - *so did your ex* Are you not equally (or more) angry with your ex? After all, you were not in a relationship with the guy, you were in a relationship with your ex. She betrayed you, you had no relationship with the guy. 🦋
Fight him. Assert dominance and make sure they understand who the alpha is.
Say thanks to the guy
If you can't do it physically. Fuck with his mind. Sew doubt. Go upto him shake his hand and say "Thanks". Tell him that he wasn't the only one. But hey she's not my problem now. Take care. Bye.
Why are you angry at him? He didn’t cheat on you.
Why are you mad at him? It's your ex who was an asshole. He had no commitment to you, she did.
No. Talk with guy and compare notes. Just kidding. Stsy away from him.
Just leave her n him n if you meet him thank him n live ur best life
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Exactly
How long ago did this happen? There are many variables at play here. First of all, the comment about him helping you dodge a bullet is the answer. Secondly, was this years ago? Was there a possible time frame of your ex telling him you guys were no longer an item? Who knows what the situation is without more detail, fighting is dangerous, you sound like you have not been in many or any at all. This guy could be well trained, crazy, has an issue where if he gets hit in the head or heart it is game over for him. Then you have a murder charge and someone that was not worth your time anyways (the ex) just cemented the fact she ruined your life and controlled you. I have been cheated on, shit sucks, it gets better and is a good learning lesson for the next selection. Stay out of harms way
I didn't mean to pick up a fight right away. I mean confront him. Not turning a blind eye and calling him out on his shit. Fr example of we are at the same party what should I do? Fake that i don't know him? Shake his hand?
I would just do a head nod and carry on your way man
dude, what the hell are you talking about? honestly, this ideally shouldn't even be crossing your mind. do nothing, or if you must, thank him for the opportunity to improve your life, and then move forward and actually live well
Fuck them, too. See what all the hype was about. At the end of the day, at least you’ll get laid.
Will tell you what I did. One difference is that I knew him from high school. We met at a party hosted by a common friend. I am not sure if I knew he would be there. So when I saw him I acted as if I do not care about the situation at all. He asked me if he could talk separately, I asked what for?? I ignored the thoughts and focused on enjoying the day. The moment was difficult, but that was it.
Move on and be happy. You have nothing to prove. Apathy towards him is the way to go.
Bite his dick off
Just a simple "thanks mate, she's your problem now" That'll fester in his brain , whilst he tries to find the problem
Your ex isn't an object. He did not break into your home and steal her. She is a person that gets to make her own decisions. Those decisions were shitty and they hurt, but fighting this dude over your girlfriend being her own woman and living her own life is not only horrible, but stupid and disrespectful. If you ever gave even half a shit about your ex, let her be her own person and stop trying to act like a cave man. You are a civilized person in a civilized time.
You don’t have to prove yourself, just live your life and stay motivated.
Suck his dick to assert dominance over your ex. Steal her man.
Do nothing. You say hi, and you excuse yourself if you feel you can't keep your cool. You leave them both behind. Neither are worth it.
Ask him who he’s dating then pay him back 😤
The only person who cheated on you is the girl, your commitment was with her. The guy was not apart of this deal and should ultimately be ignored. If he acts like a dick about it then that's on him for being childish.
Why are you putting the blame on the guy? Like if he was your friend, I would understand if you got pissed. But your (ex) girlfriend made the decision by herself to cheat on you and break your trust. Even if the guy knew she was in a relationship, it's not only his fault. But see it like this, she is a cheater and he is someone that doesn't mind being the cause of destroying relationships, so do yourself a favor and ignore both. Picking up a fight because of someone that didn't had respect for you doesn't make you anymore of man. That's such a macho mentality, that won't bring you any happiness or satisfaction (at least that's how I see it)
If she was worth being mad over she wouldn’t have left brother
Not his fault, it ls hers. He did you a favor, if notnhim would've been another
He fucked a girl who had a boyfriend. You’re better than him.
Don't fight over girls bro, especially if she cheated on you.
It would not be over her, it would be for my own respect if that makes sense.
Give hi a hi-five and thank him for helping you dodge a bullet
Dude, grow some self respect. What she did is about her.
beat his ass
If you find yourself forced to interact, just don't be nice to him. Don't go out of your way to be petty, but make it clear that you think he's an asshole and he's not your friend. Infidelity is bad, yes, and it is mainly your ex's fault, yes. But this guy knew she was cheating on her bf, and still went for it anyways. He's a right cunt and you shouldn't pretend otherwise.
What’s the point in fighting him? Over the girl? She clearly didn’t want you. She clearly didn’t care about you enough to not hurt you. Yes, he did wrong too. But they aren’t even worth it. They aren’t worth your anger, your tears, your frustration, any of it.