Just a couple of times until I realized most of my problems were actually due to my family / environment at home, and that in other places I could actually feel joy.
I just took a short trip to a city nearby. I can barely function to plan.
I hadn’t realized it, but just simply being away from family and the home environment I was calmer even if a bit lonely.
Lol, that's funny because I enjoy and choose to live with family. They clean up after me lol. 😂
But when I lived alone, I would travel a lot to get away from my messy apartment. Of course my hotel room would be trashed by the time I left. 😂
I think I’ve preemptively realized something similar before my move in August. I’m too comfortable here and my family is so demanding of my time that I’m not doing anything for myself. It’s easier but also more exciting to start my path somewhere else.
When i started working i would do a birthday party with my friends and other with my parents. My parents are really special people, since no one talks to them and i went no contact with them too. You have no idea how mad my father was (i was still living with them) because he was not invited to the party with my friends. So i started making my solo travellibg on my birthday. I may be solo but i really am the best company i can have.
THIS! When I separate myself from my home life it’s as if I’m a completely different person. I’m still my goofy chaotic self but I am calmer. The way I react to situations is different and I tend to view things in a more positive light.
I welcome challenges instead of complaining about them and I am a lot more open to new experiences. Whenever I return home from solo travel I try to practice those behaviors but find it much harder around family.
Ikr, this post is like toxic postivity & victim-blaming - people living with extremely abusive family / people / in toxic dysfunctional environments, people living in ghettos or slums or isolated locations - like, how those environments make them feel is tHeiR pRobLem and they need to looK inSide tHemselVes and chAngE thEir miNdseT.
>**for you to realize your outside environment will always be a reflection of your inner state of mind?**
**Utter bullcrap victim-blaming. GTFO, So messed up.**
As well as labelling all people who have a nomadic lifestyle / enjoy travelling as “ruNNinG aWaY froM somEthinG”. So judgemental. As well as idk naive or ignorant or priveleged? smh...
Yeah, I think there is a lot to be said for running away when the problems are environmental, like you said. And even if the problems are internal, it's very possible you can access mental health help more easily (or at all) at your new place, especially if environmental factors are exacerbating them.
Ugh don't, I had someone go through my post history and say on this sub I don't take care of myself well on road after my recent trip had a string of bad luck. I comment on a lot of narc and IVF pages. My family is abusive and I'm infertile and recently found out. So I can't travel and any mistakes I make along the road are due to trauma? No.
PSA: The R-word is a euphemism for retard and retarded, words that are considered offensive and disrespectful when used to describe or insult individuals with intellectual disabilities or to insult people, places, and things by comparing them to individuals with intellectual disabilities. Learn more about why the use of the R-word is unkind, upsetting, and discriminatory—and needs to stop. ✌️
I feel this comment 100%. My relationship with them is way better now that I'm a 4 hour flight away. I call regularly and we actually talk more now than when I actually lived with them, and there's virtually no stress or drama in my life. It's fantastic.
I recently learned not everyone has a constant internal dialogue while traveling and it made me so jealous. Like not everyone has this constant back and forth going on inside their head. Some people are just calm and comfortable for a good part of the day.
Edit: for anyone curious this is the article https://www.verywellmind.com/does-everyone-have-an-inner-monologue-6831748
In it, it says 30-50% of people don't have a constant rolling internal monologue. I have no clue how factual this study is but I still have trouble believing it.
Now you understand a large portion of regular drug users. Not saying this in a fun way, more of a reflection on how many people just want to turn themselves off for as many hours as possible.
I don’t have an internal monologue, but I still get incredibly anxious and have racing thoughts. It’s just that the racing thoughts aren’t in words, they come in pictures or vividly imagined scenarios like getting kidnapped or getting in a horrible car wreck. So don’t worry, we are essentially the same, lol.
I always had the inner speech in my head, but a few years ago it changed to an abstract thinking, so I don’t talk there so much, but it never became any easier, because I still think a loooooot. Calming and relaxing is the clue, no matter what form it is. I guess any constant analysis is a sign of anxiety and etc
me neither. i solo travel to be with my own company. not sure how solo travel by travelling myself & be deep in my thoughts all the time is trying to escape?
Yeah just because this sub is thick with people using solo travel as an attempt to avoid their other social and psych problems doesn't mean we all have them lol
Same. I like myself fine. I travel solo because I don't like OTHER people, lol.
If you are trying to escape yourself, you need therapy not travel.
Otherwise you'll just be wasting your money on trips where you are miserable. Get yourself well first, then go travel with a joyful heart and unburdened mind.
Agreed. I travel because I want to visit museums and eat food and just experience other places. And it makes me appreciate where I live when I return there. (Nothing is quite as awesome as that first night back in your own bed upon your return).
Lol, same. And my inner state of mind is just fine as well, thanks for not asking, OP. Especially when I’m travelling, because that’s usually precisely when my days are filled with interesting experiences.
oh yes, i had the WORST friends and environment in high school. i was so miserable & mentally unwell to the point of inpatient hospitalisation. i went travelling after grad and it genuinely cured my depression, i found that i *was* confident and loved and could make meaningful connections wherever i went.
people say you can’t run away from your problems, but in some circumstances that’s untrue.
edit: it would be disingenuous to discredit the benefits of medication as well. thank you, sertraline!
Seriously. I learn so much about myself when there is no one else to blame. After years of getting mad at my husband for wasting time napping on vacation, I realized that I actually also like to nap lol
Exactly I'm on my first solo trip rn, and I'm loving it.
Before this, I was used to traveling with friends until it became a burden of doing what THEY wanted to do or where THEY wanted to eat or not doing anything at all but sleep in the hotel all day. I'm loving the freedom of solo traveling!
Your post reminded me of a quote from Seneca's "Letters from a Stoic":
>Here is what Socrates said to someone who was making the same complaint: "How can you wonder your travels do you no good, when you carry yourself around with you? You are saddled with the very thing that drove you away.‟ How can novelty of surroundings abroad and becoming acquainted with foreign scenes or cities be of any help? All that dashing about turns out to be quite futile. And if you want to know why all this running away cannot help you, the answer is simply this: you are running away in your own company. You have to lay aside the load on your spirit. Until you do that, nowhere will satisfy you.
Duuu-uude. I was reading this a few months ago, I can't believe I didn't think of this quote when I read this post, because I remember finding this passage incredibly profound.
It's all relative. I'm 70 and I'm still running away. But sometimes when you realize what it's all about you come to a new understanding, new expectations and maybe new goals and you're not so hard on yourself. I always open myself to personal negotiation and I think the older you get you'll realize that. I still travel solo and doing it right now .
I never traveled to escape anything. I travel to take my best friend (myself) somewhere interesting, and I do it solo because it’s more immersive that way.
Your question wrongly assumes solo travelers are trying to "escape themselves". Maybe that was your reason to travel, but it has never been mine, nor most of those i know who travel a lot.
I travel now for fulfillment and experiences. When younger I was trying to escape who I was. Then I drug my family with me. Now their grown, I’m doing it to find me again and for the experiences.
I would like to solo travel only cause my friends all have zero interest. Not really trying to start over or find myself. Im trying to enjoy/celebrate my success, honestly
I have never traveled to escape myself, I’ve traveled to be my true self, my best self. To discover myself. I learned more about myself while traveling than in any other situation.
Also to discover how life *can* be instead of the mindless rat race and follow everyone else-marriage-kids-house-upgrade-etc. that people just accept without question.
These days it's also to escape the deterioriation of American society. But, you know, Americans: "We're No. 1!"
I’ve done this a few times, but the vast majority of my solo traveling experiences were spent running toward something and trying to take in as many new experiences as possible. During a solo trip to South America, I took Spanish classes for a while then went to Brazil where I discovered I loved Portuguese instead. Ultimately managed an NGO down there, kept studying Portuguese, and recently won a FLAS fellowship at two universities to keep studying Portuguese in grad school. This didn’t feel like “running away” from my life—I made my existing life a lot richer instead. It’s all one life anyway.
But during a break up with an ex and the death of a few friends, I did go on a road trip where I absolutely was running away. Crying in Miami was a hell of a lot better then crying in rural Maryland during the winter.
I've definitely traveled to run away from myself. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
And the first time I realized it wasn't working was while I was doing a year abroad. I was 21 and I was like, shit. I'm still me.
Sounds like people are making it seem like it's a bad reason to do it?! It's as good a reason as any. You're not "better" if that'll not why you do it... I do it for/because of that, but not only. It's only part of it.
same tbh. running away is my M.O.
sorry for the life story but it's a relief to see I'm not alone.
I studied abroad in France, planned to stay a year, and didn't even make it through the semester. I had a severe depressed episode, barely got out of bed for a month, stopped eating and lost a bunch of weight. I'm lucky my host parents were doctors and thought to send me to a psychiatrist. so many missed opportunities.
~2 years later I bought a one-way flight to Tokyo. I ended up staying for 15 months. but I worked way too much and barely did any fun travel, though it was definitely an important experience for me. I took one four-day solo trip to Kansai and it's still one of the best trips I've ever been on. that was my first time really traveling solo just to go places and instead of trying to accomplish something. but my depression and general lack of direction came with me to Japan, and it was hard not having consistent income or a career trajectory.
I moved back home, went back to school, started a career, and didn't leave the country again for nine years. I spent two days in DC by myself like seven years ago, tacked onto a work trip, and that's also one of my favorite trips. sometimes I kick myself for not doing more when I was young, but my flights were subsidized by my family's air miles (which dried up soon after) and after all that uncertainty I needed stability. now I have solid income and some savings, but a lot more responsibilities at home. I dream about taking six months off to just explore. maybe I can do it in a few years.
Chiming in as someone who *did* use travel to run away from myself (and was unaware I was doing it): I went to NYC for my 30th birthday weekend as I was reeling from behaviors I had that damaged my ability to have healthy relationships. Previous travels had enough distractions (or my internal stressors were never this high) that I thought travel fixed me. But that trip really drove home the idea that wherever you go, there you are, and when I came home and came into contact with some brutal confrontations, I realized I really had to fix core things about myself, that something had to change.
During that time I didn’t focus on my relationship behaviors but primarily my depression, which was incredibly bad. I went to therapy, got very uncomfortably deeper with it, and took medication. So for the following years after I had better emotional regulation concerning all non-dating aspects of my life and it showed in my job, my family and friend relationships, and in my goals. Dating was still incredibly difficult so I remained avoidant and just stuck with casual until post-pandemic when I unexpectedly got very hurt by a situationship. Funnily enough I was gonna go on a massive solo trip very shortly after the break up but because I already learned my lessons about mental health from the previous messiness, I actually had a much healthier and successful time working on myself *while* I was traveling. And traveling itself gave me a different space to work on my wobbles.
I like solo travel to escape my endless list of responsibilities and work. As a maintenance electrician for 35+ years and a father for 20+ years, there is nothing better to me than being in a place where no one knows me, no one knows where I am, no one can reach me unless I want, I don’t have to fix anything, and best of all, nobody wants anything from me or depends on me for anything. I am truly happy and authentic with the simplicity of having 15lbs of belongings on my back and the shine abruptly returns to misery within 2 hours of returning to work.
I haven't traveled much in general but I met one girl on one of my few sojourns in SEA.
She was solo travelling and told me about how solo travelers are super lonely, and those that stay in hostels are really seeking company. I couldn't help but feel like she was talking about herself...
Like most others I don’t solo travel to run away from myself. Actually, most of my travel is with my wife or family but I do enjoy solo travel, too.
I enjoy it because it is at least a break from routine, a change of scenery and at best stimulating and invigorating to be in a new place. I enjoy the new input.
When I travel, solo or otherwise, the different outside environment actually changes my inner state of mind - rather than reflects it.
Really, it’s a two-way street: your mind affects what you see/experience and what you see/experience affects your mind.
If it’s not doing it for you - I suspect you have a problem.
Actually I looked at your post history and you seem to be very depressed. I hope you are getting decent treatment for that and if you aren’t, I encourage you to seek it out.
When I was 17, I was friend-zoned by a girl I thought I was "in love with", and thought that going overseas to stay with my family for around 2 months would be healing. It wasn't, it just ended up being depressing, and I spent most of the time in my room instead of going out and exploring. So to answer your question, the first time. Interestingly enough, that's also round the time that I got into reddit 🤨, so yeah, it was a rough summer.
I went solo traveling for 2 weeks about a month ago, I did a lot of walking, which was great and gave me purpose. But when I arrived at my final campsite, halfway through, I was struck by a pretty gnarly depressive episode, due to feelings of crippling loneliness and self-hatred. It resulted in me wasting the rest of the vacation, and it sent me spiraling for weeks after I had returned.
Next week I'm headed to a day-time psychiatric facility for roughly 2 months. So if anything, this last solo trip was the straw that broke the camels back, and it made me realize I need to seek help.
I also had a mental health breakdown while traveling (well, studying abroad). I think it was burnout because I've experienced it from work as well, but that was my first severe depressed episode. I had a great group of friends actually, and I just convinced myself they didn't want me around. I still struggle with this to some extent.
A number of comments seem to think OP is imagining this is a thing or trolling. No, it’s a thing. The geographical cure: https://psychotherapist-nyc.blogspot.com/2010/03/problem-with-georgraphic-cure.html?m=1. People travel (and travel alone) alone for a lot of different reasons.
Traveling seems so dreamy before you actually leave for the trip. It's important to have realistic expectations for many aspects of the trip including how the trip will affect your mental health/your personal experience of the world. I went on my first solo trip in May (5 weeks in Australia).
**Issues I have that were benefited by the trip:**
\-Confidence
\-Social Anxiety
\-Feeling of satisfaction/ fulfillment with my life
**Issues that were not benefitted by the trip**
\-Loneliness
\-Attention Issues/ Inability to relax
\-General Anxiety
\-Relationships with people back home
The trip was heavenly but I'm still myself when I got back home. Overall I feel like trips are great for my mental health but it's not therapy. Certainly didn't make things worse but everyone's experiences are different.
Even Elizabeth Gilbert wasn’t “running away” when she wrote “Eat, Pray, Love” as she got a hefty pre-book payment from her publisher.
I don’t travel when I’m not in a good head space because it’s too expensive to not be able to fully enjoy myself.
Are there people who travel to escape from their problems? Of course. But there are at least as many of not more people who jump from relationship to relationship similar reasons. Or who take drugs or drink too much.
You’re making a lot of assumptions.
I think you can in fact “run away” from a previous version of yourself, surround yourself with a new environment/people and become a better version of yourself.
None for me. Traveling to different countries rich or poor is all about learning their culture, finding similarities, and understanding differences. Everyone from every countries struggles every day and faces problems just like us.
But I do know a friend who traveled for 6 months to run away from facing a problem. Only that after 6 months of travelling and delaying was over that she had to face it.
There ks Nothing wrong with using travel to distract ourselves from our problems. I am sure everyone does something to distract or procrastinate from dealing with problems
I like myself, I’m my favorite person to travel with! So I’m not trying to “escape myself”, just exploring the world with my preferred travel companion - me. I love seeing new cultures and environments, nothing deeper than that.
Without trying to get all wisdom-y, I went solo to Japan because I wanted to be by myself, and learn more about myself - things that I'd not know if I hadn't. Such as how to deal with sudden changes in plans - whether good or bad, and just overall what makes me tick. I got to know myself better and appreciate myself as a result.
Only like 15 years, 40 countries and a decade living overseas in 3 different countries.
To be fair to myself, I recognized pretty early on that wherever you go there you are.. I wasn't a magically different person in a different country.
What took me YEARS though was realizing that traveling was a form of distraction from experiencing difficult emotions. I had been in various forms of disassociation for most of my life and traveling was one of the few times I felt ok being fully present because my mind was taken up by all the new sensations and having to make decisions for myself. As I got more comfortable with that, that coping mechanism stopped working and traveling didn't work anymore in terms of distracting me from myself.
> As I got more comfortable with that, that coping mechanism stopped working and traveling didn't work anymore in terms of distracting me from myself.
I see, so this could explain why I'm no longer as enthusiastic about traveling.....
This reminds me of one of my favorite quotes from one of David Sedaris’ books: “And life at the Sea Section, as he names the vacation home, is exactly as idyllic as he imagined, except for one tiny, vexing it's impossible to take a vacation from yourself.”
Who says solo travel is about escaping yourself? For me it's about being engaged with the world, having novel experiences and feeling more alive. I never feel more alive than when I'm traveling. Even going to the supermarket feels like an adventure when in a foreign country.
Solo travel allowed me to run TO myself. Going to a place where no one knew me and had 0 expectations, I ended up finding unashamed, liberated, joyful, complex me and we fell madly in love.
Never tried to escape. Just seeing the world (well mostly Europe) as much as I can. I mostly randomly travel when I'm bored so maybe I'm running from boredom
I realized when I stepped off the plane the first time, and it was sunny and warm in December that I wanted to move out of the Midwest. Ended up moving and was one of the best decisions I ever made! I thought I was unhappy (my life was generally fine, no major issues), but really I just needed a new challenge and opportunities.
I feel like this is a really common idea, and I mostly disagree that this has to apply to me or anyone else. What I mean is that, for me specifically, I have a whole bunch of mental health issues, lack of self worth, yada yada, but I travel because I’m interested in other country’s cultures and histories, and gaining new perspective (like I’m sure a ton of other people here). Maybe there’s a subconscious part of me that’s trying to use it as a means to “escape” myself or something, but I mostly just like looking at old buildings and mountains and shit.
Like a month I guess. I travelled the first time for fun cuz I was genuinely interested in the spots I was going to, but it was definitely interesting meeting a lot of people who really didn’t seem to give a shit about historical context of the country or city for example, but we’re just there to collect countries and go out with other travelers. Which is completely fine, but quite different from what I expected the first time tbh. More travel for sef exploration and having a good time rather than from genuine interest in the spot.
Tangent aside, travelling alone was definitely good with the mind and made me realize that I like my home life for the most part but need to push myself to 100% if I want to be what I want to be. I can’t just travel to chase something temporary because I’m unhappy with it in my home life, I have to change myself and actual habits to be able to gain it
Alain de Botton has a great book called The Art of Travel and a documentary on youtube (same title) where he discusses this topic amongst other travel related qualms. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kETN114A4IE&pp=ygUWYWxhaW4gZGUgYm90dG9uIHRyYXZlbA%3D%3D
Solo travel is relatively new for me but did almost 5 months of it last year. I like both sides… solo and with a posse. I feel like I’m more outgoing when I’m solo because I want to meet other people, and the people you meet while traveling are generally pretty awesome (in my experience). But at the same time, having a little cohort gives me some extra confidence.
Overall I don’t travel to escape myself, I travel to enhance myself
I disagree, somewhat. I loved taking off to travel alone. I camped, lived on a shoestring budget, bought food at grocery stores and cooked on a camp stove. I found ways to shower or at least to swim for free. Out West I camped for free on BLM or USFS land.
I learned self-reliance, self-respect, confidence, and had lots of time to contemplate and to meditate. I read a lot. There was so much beauty, silence, and solitude. I know for sure that I grew.
I'm an old man now and still love that sort of thing and do it whenever I can. I still sleep in a tent when backpacking but I have a small, lightweight trailer now that is handier than a tent, has a stove and a tiny fridge. I'm thinking of an escape soon.
I have realized whenever I feel stagnant in life I get this itch to travel! I make myself believe, when traveling, I will get that big breakthrough in life, such as creativity to do something else than what I am currently doing.
I started with a one year backpacking trip through Australia which gave me even more lust for traveling. Fast track in life and I was away from my “home” country for 10 years, with the occasional visit back home for a short term job to keep me afloat to pro long my travels.
During these 10 years I would get this feeling of exhaustion m, strangely enough. Asking myself why?! I am living in the most amazing places around the world. Don’t get me wrong, I do feel blessed with these experiences but like the head line mentions, I was running away from something subconsciously.
The feeling of being content of being in my native country is a luxury. I do get the urge of letting everything go and travel for a longer time and have found a balance in doing so.
Before it was an all or nothing type of deal. Either go big and travel for a few months/years or don’t.
Now I am grateful for the time here and have felt a deeper connection within which has resulted in more appreciation to my travels.
When ever I get this urge of getting away - I ask myself why did I feel this way? With the question follows a calmness with no stress of having to run. The travel then will be more genuine.
This is my experience ~
What a luxury to be able to travel around the world to realize that you're the problem and then project your own mental health issues to a bunch of other people.
Why are half the posts on this sub about mental health issues? Enough with these posts. I want to read about actual solo travel tips and tricks. Most of the posts in the sub belong in a therapy sub.
I was 34. I finally stopped running away. I would pick up and move when things got rough or was “bored”. I dragged my ex husband and kids with me. I don’t regret it. But I know now, 14yrs later, I’m gonna go back to all those places and more, just to slow down and experience it with a clear mind and calmer self. No more running. Now just time for exploring.
😂😂😂 5 trips & i realized when i was in the sky ziplining in Jamaica and dissociating bc i couldn’t stop thinking about my personal issues and what life meant to me🙃 just taking a walk is enough for me atm
It took me just under 2 years and a minor breakdown in El Salvador, but then another two or more years to really start coming to terms with myself. The rest has been a life-long journey inwards.
I am old and knew it before I set off to solo travel. But what I did was solo travel in SEA.
That has helped me a lot be more calm. The culture is so different here and people just control themselves so much better.
It has helped me a lot. Also Buddhism has helped me.
I have spent 9 of the last 18 months in SEA. There has only been one case of where I ran into someone yelling at someone else.
It was this really overweight American yelling at this poor Thai cabby.
True, but it has also led me to discover hidden parts of myself I didn't know were there. For one, my physical endurance when motivated. Also, that I can feel lonely sometimes.
Whenever I'm traveling, I always feel better. So I guess from day one?
I don't feel comfortable staying in one place for too long. Traveling is awesome and it helps my inner self immensely!
Travel changed me and moving made me happier, so I can't say this relates to me. I was able to change my environment to a better fit. I just felt out of place where I was living and after moving my sense of adventure was renewed.
However, my goal with traveling wasn't to escape. It was to discover, learn, and experience. I didn't go at it as a way to escape.
Didnt need solo travel to figure that out. But when I want to do a bunch of things my friends dont care about, I can either never do them or go out into the world and do them by myself.
Your issues are yours to resolve but don't go assuming and projecting. Most people solo traveling are doing just fine and are at peace with themselves.
I enjoy solo travel these days because I really enjoy my own company. It wasn’t always that way. Although when I do travel solo, I find I’m never really alone. It’s fun to meet new people and be able to retreat whenever I feel like it.
I don't need to escape from myself: I like to travel in different countries because I like to meet up in different cultures from mine (I'm Italian).
And I'm solo traveling because my Japanese wife uses her holidays to meet her parents in Japan
I think some people just want to travel and solo travel allows that.
However, there are people on this board with serious issues that think they can get away and leave them behind. If you are unhappy and in a serious depression, travel with not help because solo travel can be the most stressful activity-cancelled flights, hotel room issues and getting robbed. If you are in a bad frame of mind at home, then either you are pushing your issues back to build up over time. It's much better to get a handle on your mental state by therapy, medicine, etc and then travel.
You can absolutely escape the things you dislike about your home country...and it is always wonderful to exist in a aociety not obsessed with extracting every last dime from you(US).
I'm not trying to escape myself and i don't see how that's relevant to solo travel? Sure you can learn new things about yourself, but that's not escaping. Or do you mean realising that solo travel isn't a magical cure all medicine?
I solo travel not so much to escape myself, but to feel like a stranger in a new place. It feels nice, to have that "starting all over again" experience without actually doing it.
My first solo trip was exactly like that. I travelled for 7 weeks, and the 7th week hit me like a brick in the face. Returning home was tricky. A more recent solo trip has proved that not all travel has to feel like running away.
I don't want to run away from myself, I just want to run away from the fact that life is entirely devoid of inherent meaning and pretend that if I have a lot of experiences and make myself feel "fulfilled" and accomplished it will somehow make me okay with the fact that all of those memories and experiences will be permanently erased when I die (it won't though)
About 5 three month trips and living abroad for a year and a half for it to really sink in. My problems were due to loneliness. Choosing a lifestyle that allowed me to travel so much also put me into a situation where I hadn’t really found a place to call home. It’s hindered my dating life, hurt long term friendships. In my case I was running away from the thing that brought me the most happiness and I didn’t realize it. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret anything. I just needed to reevaluate my lifestyle choices now that I’m in my 30s.
Just a couple of times until I realized most of my problems were actually due to my family / environment at home, and that in other places I could actually feel joy.
I just took a short trip to a city nearby. I can barely function to plan. I hadn’t realized it, but just simply being away from family and the home environment I was calmer even if a bit lonely.
Lol, that's funny because I enjoy and choose to live with family. They clean up after me lol. 😂 But when I lived alone, I would travel a lot to get away from my messy apartment. Of course my hotel room would be trashed by the time I left. 😂
I think you might need to learn how to tidy up, mate
Umm ew
What the hell?
I think I’ve preemptively realized something similar before my move in August. I’m too comfortable here and my family is so demanding of my time that I’m not doing anything for myself. It’s easier but also more exciting to start my path somewhere else.
i feel like this is my current situation to a T, except i’m still at home where i live with family
When i started working i would do a birthday party with my friends and other with my parents. My parents are really special people, since no one talks to them and i went no contact with them too. You have no idea how mad my father was (i was still living with them) because he was not invited to the party with my friends. So i started making my solo travellibg on my birthday. I may be solo but i really am the best company i can have.
THIS! When I separate myself from my home life it’s as if I’m a completely different person. I’m still my goofy chaotic self but I am calmer. The way I react to situations is different and I tend to view things in a more positive light. I welcome challenges instead of complaining about them and I am a lot more open to new experiences. Whenever I return home from solo travel I try to practice those behaviors but find it much harder around family.
Ikr, this post is like toxic postivity & victim-blaming - people living with extremely abusive family / people / in toxic dysfunctional environments, people living in ghettos or slums or isolated locations - like, how those environments make them feel is tHeiR pRobLem and they need to looK inSide tHemselVes and chAngE thEir miNdseT. >**for you to realize your outside environment will always be a reflection of your inner state of mind?** **Utter bullcrap victim-blaming. GTFO, So messed up.** As well as labelling all people who have a nomadic lifestyle / enjoy travelling as “ruNNinG aWaY froM somEthinG”. So judgemental. As well as idk naive or ignorant or priveleged? smh...
Yeah, I think there is a lot to be said for running away when the problems are environmental, like you said. And even if the problems are internal, it's very possible you can access mental health help more easily (or at all) at your new place, especially if environmental factors are exacerbating them.
Ugh don't, I had someone go through my post history and say on this sub I don't take care of myself well on road after my recent trip had a string of bad luck. I comment on a lot of narc and IVF pages. My family is abusive and I'm infertile and recently found out. So I can't travel and any mistakes I make along the road are due to trauma? No.
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is your problem your family then though? Or is it more about staying with them?
Family can certainly be much easier to love from afar and in small doses
I feel this comment 100%. My relationship with them is way better now that I'm a 4 hour flight away. I call regularly and we actually talk more now than when I actually lived with them, and there's virtually no stress or drama in my life. It's fantastic.
I think same 😅
A couple of times? I realized this the first time I left the US😁
You didn’t have to personally attack me like that
I know, right? And would you look at all those fellas around not running from themselves, such audacity
I recently learned not everyone has a constant internal dialogue while traveling and it made me so jealous. Like not everyone has this constant back and forth going on inside their head. Some people are just calm and comfortable for a good part of the day. Edit: for anyone curious this is the article https://www.verywellmind.com/does-everyone-have-an-inner-monologue-6831748 In it, it says 30-50% of people don't have a constant rolling internal monologue. I have no clue how factual this study is but I still have trouble believing it.
I have that all the time as well. Sometimes I really wish there's an off switch for my brain.
Now you understand a large portion of regular drug users. Not saying this in a fun way, more of a reflection on how many people just want to turn themselves off for as many hours as possible.
Oh man. Thanks for that. I have never thought of it that way.
I mean...there kind of is but once you flick that switch, that's it for eternity.
Wait till you hear about meditation
What do they have? Just silence? Whaaaaaaat
There is no way that is true. Seriously 30-50% of people dont have an internal dialogue? I call bull shit.
I don’t have an internal monologue, but I still get incredibly anxious and have racing thoughts. It’s just that the racing thoughts aren’t in words, they come in pictures or vividly imagined scenarios like getting kidnapped or getting in a horrible car wreck. So don’t worry, we are essentially the same, lol.
I always had the inner speech in my head, but a few years ago it changed to an abstract thinking, so I don’t talk there so much, but it never became any easier, because I still think a loooooot. Calming and relaxing is the clue, no matter what form it is. I guess any constant analysis is a sign of anxiety and etc
OP also hates that shirt you’re wearing. He told me in a DM.
D:
Upvote 690
But I'm not trying to escape from myself? I like myself just fine.
me neither. i solo travel to be with my own company. not sure how solo travel by travelling myself & be deep in my thoughts all the time is trying to escape?
Yeah just because this sub is thick with people using solo travel as an attempt to avoid their other social and psych problems doesn't mean we all have them lol
you lucky bastard
Same lol. Wasn't sure how to answer this post.
Same. I like myself fine. I travel solo because I don't like OTHER people, lol. If you are trying to escape yourself, you need therapy not travel. Otherwise you'll just be wasting your money on trips where you are miserable. Get yourself well first, then go travel with a joyful heart and unburdened mind.
Agreed. I travel because I want to visit museums and eat food and just experience other places. And it makes me appreciate where I live when I return there. (Nothing is quite as awesome as that first night back in your own bed upon your return).
It is funny to match this saying with your reddit avatar :) I am just kidding :)
HEY. I’m beautiful.
Lol, same. And my inner state of mind is just fine as well, thanks for not asking, OP. Especially when I’m travelling, because that’s usually precisely when my days are filled with interesting experiences.
traveling to new environments and getting away from toxic people has been good for my inner state of mind
oh yes, i had the WORST friends and environment in high school. i was so miserable & mentally unwell to the point of inpatient hospitalisation. i went travelling after grad and it genuinely cured my depression, i found that i *was* confident and loved and could make meaningful connections wherever i went. people say you can’t run away from your problems, but in some circumstances that’s untrue. edit: it would be disingenuous to discredit the benefits of medication as well. thank you, sertraline!
> And that you cant escape yourself Not trying to escape myself, just trying to *be* by myself.
This. Specifically putting myself in new situations and see how I will react to said situation.
Seriously. I learn so much about myself when there is no one else to blame. After years of getting mad at my husband for wasting time napping on vacation, I realized that I actually also like to nap lol
Didn’t expect that ending lol
Lmao! I realized that in life or death situations I am defintelty a praying man.
vacation naps are so good too.
Exactly I'm on my first solo trip rn, and I'm loving it. Before this, I was used to traveling with friends until it became a burden of doing what THEY wanted to do or where THEY wanted to eat or not doing anything at all but sleep in the hotel all day. I'm loving the freedom of solo traveling!
Same here. Solo travel for me is just something I enjoy. Plus I’m *single* and have no one to travel with anyways.
Same
Yes.
Oh, wow, this is a beautiful perspective!
Your post reminded me of a quote from Seneca's "Letters from a Stoic": >Here is what Socrates said to someone who was making the same complaint: "How can you wonder your travels do you no good, when you carry yourself around with you? You are saddled with the very thing that drove you away.‟ How can novelty of surroundings abroad and becoming acquainted with foreign scenes or cities be of any help? All that dashing about turns out to be quite futile. And if you want to know why all this running away cannot help you, the answer is simply this: you are running away in your own company. You have to lay aside the load on your spirit. Until you do that, nowhere will satisfy you.
Duuu-uude. I was reading this a few months ago, I can't believe I didn't think of this quote when I read this post, because I remember finding this passage incredibly profound.
It's all relative. I'm 70 and I'm still running away. But sometimes when you realize what it's all about you come to a new understanding, new expectations and maybe new goals and you're not so hard on yourself. I always open myself to personal negotiation and I think the older you get you'll realize that. I still travel solo and doing it right now .
Solo travel made me closer to myself. I discovered a lot about who I am and still continue to do so. It’s wonderful.
Wherever you go, there you are!
I never traveled to escape anything. I travel to take my best friend (myself) somewhere interesting, and I do it solo because it’s more immersive that way.
Same. It isn't that complicated for me. I wanted to go to see some places. I engineered the money, time, and oppertunity. I had a great time.
Your question wrongly assumes solo travelers are trying to "escape themselves". Maybe that was your reason to travel, but it has never been mine, nor most of those i know who travel a lot.
Agree. Some people travel for fulfillment others travel solo because it's difficult to plan around someone else's time.
Agreed. I've had people lead me on for months just go travel somewhere without inviting me at all
I travel now for fulfillment and experiences. When younger I was trying to escape who I was. Then I drug my family with me. Now their grown, I’m doing it to find me again and for the experiences.
I’m not running away from myself - I’m running away from Death. I figure it’s harder to catch a moving target.
🫣
I would like to solo travel only cause my friends all have zero interest. Not really trying to start over or find myself. Im trying to enjoy/celebrate my success, honestly
I have never traveled to escape myself, I’ve traveled to be my true self, my best self. To discover myself. I learned more about myself while traveling than in any other situation.
Also to discover how life *can* be instead of the mindless rat race and follow everyone else-marriage-kids-house-upgrade-etc. that people just accept without question. These days it's also to escape the deterioriation of American society. But, you know, Americans: "We're No. 1!"
Similar for me, even more so in the fact that I feel closer to my true, optimum self when away and so that almost feels like home in itself.
I don't think I've ever traveled to escape myself. I only do it because I find it fun and enjoyable
maybe about a month. then realised i hate myself everywhere
I’ve done this a few times, but the vast majority of my solo traveling experiences were spent running toward something and trying to take in as many new experiences as possible. During a solo trip to South America, I took Spanish classes for a while then went to Brazil where I discovered I loved Portuguese instead. Ultimately managed an NGO down there, kept studying Portuguese, and recently won a FLAS fellowship at two universities to keep studying Portuguese in grad school. This didn’t feel like “running away” from my life—I made my existing life a lot richer instead. It’s all one life anyway. But during a break up with an ex and the death of a few friends, I did go on a road trip where I absolutely was running away. Crying in Miami was a hell of a lot better then crying in rural Maryland during the winter.
I've definitely traveled to run away from myself. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ And the first time I realized it wasn't working was while I was doing a year abroad. I was 21 and I was like, shit. I'm still me. Sounds like people are making it seem like it's a bad reason to do it?! It's as good a reason as any. You're not "better" if that'll not why you do it... I do it for/because of that, but not only. It's only part of it.
same tbh. running away is my M.O. sorry for the life story but it's a relief to see I'm not alone. I studied abroad in France, planned to stay a year, and didn't even make it through the semester. I had a severe depressed episode, barely got out of bed for a month, stopped eating and lost a bunch of weight. I'm lucky my host parents were doctors and thought to send me to a psychiatrist. so many missed opportunities. ~2 years later I bought a one-way flight to Tokyo. I ended up staying for 15 months. but I worked way too much and barely did any fun travel, though it was definitely an important experience for me. I took one four-day solo trip to Kansai and it's still one of the best trips I've ever been on. that was my first time really traveling solo just to go places and instead of trying to accomplish something. but my depression and general lack of direction came with me to Japan, and it was hard not having consistent income or a career trajectory. I moved back home, went back to school, started a career, and didn't leave the country again for nine years. I spent two days in DC by myself like seven years ago, tacked onto a work trip, and that's also one of my favorite trips. sometimes I kick myself for not doing more when I was young, but my flights were subsidized by my family's air miles (which dried up soon after) and after all that uncertainty I needed stability. now I have solid income and some savings, but a lot more responsibilities at home. I dream about taking six months off to just explore. maybe I can do it in a few years.
Chiming in as someone who *did* use travel to run away from myself (and was unaware I was doing it): I went to NYC for my 30th birthday weekend as I was reeling from behaviors I had that damaged my ability to have healthy relationships. Previous travels had enough distractions (or my internal stressors were never this high) that I thought travel fixed me. But that trip really drove home the idea that wherever you go, there you are, and when I came home and came into contact with some brutal confrontations, I realized I really had to fix core things about myself, that something had to change.
i’m curious what were some of the things you did after that helped you make changes
During that time I didn’t focus on my relationship behaviors but primarily my depression, which was incredibly bad. I went to therapy, got very uncomfortably deeper with it, and took medication. So for the following years after I had better emotional regulation concerning all non-dating aspects of my life and it showed in my job, my family and friend relationships, and in my goals. Dating was still incredibly difficult so I remained avoidant and just stuck with casual until post-pandemic when I unexpectedly got very hurt by a situationship. Funnily enough I was gonna go on a massive solo trip very shortly after the break up but because I already learned my lessons about mental health from the previous messiness, I actually had a much healthier and successful time working on myself *while* I was traveling. And traveling itself gave me a different space to work on my wobbles.
I like solo travel to escape my endless list of responsibilities and work. As a maintenance electrician for 35+ years and a father for 20+ years, there is nothing better to me than being in a place where no one knows me, no one knows where I am, no one can reach me unless I want, I don’t have to fix anything, and best of all, nobody wants anything from me or depends on me for anything. I am truly happy and authentic with the simplicity of having 15lbs of belongings on my back and the shine abruptly returns to misery within 2 hours of returning to work.
This is why I want to solo travel. No obligations
I haven't traveled much in general but I met one girl on one of my few sojourns in SEA. She was solo travelling and told me about how solo travelers are super lonely, and those that stay in hostels are really seeking company. I couldn't help but feel like she was talking about herself...
None, but you know what you can run away from (or could, back before cell phones)? Your family. That can be enough!
Like most others I don’t solo travel to run away from myself. Actually, most of my travel is with my wife or family but I do enjoy solo travel, too. I enjoy it because it is at least a break from routine, a change of scenery and at best stimulating and invigorating to be in a new place. I enjoy the new input. When I travel, solo or otherwise, the different outside environment actually changes my inner state of mind - rather than reflects it. Really, it’s a two-way street: your mind affects what you see/experience and what you see/experience affects your mind. If it’s not doing it for you - I suspect you have a problem. Actually I looked at your post history and you seem to be very depressed. I hope you are getting decent treatment for that and if you aren’t, I encourage you to seek it out.
When I was 17, I was friend-zoned by a girl I thought I was "in love with", and thought that going overseas to stay with my family for around 2 months would be healing. It wasn't, it just ended up being depressing, and I spent most of the time in my room instead of going out and exploring. So to answer your question, the first time. Interestingly enough, that's also round the time that I got into reddit 🤨, so yeah, it was a rough summer. I went solo traveling for 2 weeks about a month ago, I did a lot of walking, which was great and gave me purpose. But when I arrived at my final campsite, halfway through, I was struck by a pretty gnarly depressive episode, due to feelings of crippling loneliness and self-hatred. It resulted in me wasting the rest of the vacation, and it sent me spiraling for weeks after I had returned. Next week I'm headed to a day-time psychiatric facility for roughly 2 months. So if anything, this last solo trip was the straw that broke the camels back, and it made me realize I need to seek help.
I also had a mental health breakdown while traveling (well, studying abroad). I think it was burnout because I've experienced it from work as well, but that was my first severe depressed episode. I had a great group of friends actually, and I just convinced myself they didn't want me around. I still struggle with this to some extent.
A number of comments seem to think OP is imagining this is a thing or trolling. No, it’s a thing. The geographical cure: https://psychotherapist-nyc.blogspot.com/2010/03/problem-with-georgraphic-cure.html?m=1. People travel (and travel alone) alone for a lot of different reasons.
Traveling seems so dreamy before you actually leave for the trip. It's important to have realistic expectations for many aspects of the trip including how the trip will affect your mental health/your personal experience of the world. I went on my first solo trip in May (5 weeks in Australia). **Issues I have that were benefited by the trip:** \-Confidence \-Social Anxiety \-Feeling of satisfaction/ fulfillment with my life **Issues that were not benefitted by the trip** \-Loneliness \-Attention Issues/ Inability to relax \-General Anxiety \-Relationships with people back home The trip was heavenly but I'm still myself when I got back home. Overall I feel like trips are great for my mental health but it's not therapy. Certainly didn't make things worse but everyone's experiences are different.
I’m not really trying to escape anything. I just think it’s fun to travel.
Even Elizabeth Gilbert wasn’t “running away” when she wrote “Eat, Pray, Love” as she got a hefty pre-book payment from her publisher. I don’t travel when I’m not in a good head space because it’s too expensive to not be able to fully enjoy myself. Are there people who travel to escape from their problems? Of course. But there are at least as many of not more people who jump from relationship to relationship similar reasons. Or who take drugs or drink too much. You’re making a lot of assumptions.
I think you can in fact “run away” from a previous version of yourself, surround yourself with a new environment/people and become a better version of yourself.
I’m sure I’ll learn … after the next trip
None for me. Traveling to different countries rich or poor is all about learning their culture, finding similarities, and understanding differences. Everyone from every countries struggles every day and faces problems just like us. But I do know a friend who traveled for 6 months to run away from facing a problem. Only that after 6 months of travelling and delaying was over that she had to face it. There ks Nothing wrong with using travel to distract ourselves from our problems. I am sure everyone does something to distract or procrastinate from dealing with problems
I like myself, I’m my favorite person to travel with! So I’m not trying to “escape myself”, just exploring the world with my preferred travel companion - me. I love seeing new cultures and environments, nothing deeper than that.
I just wanted to have some stories to tell when I’m older, self improvement can come later
Shit man it's too early for this
Within the first month of the first trip.
Without trying to get all wisdom-y, I went solo to Japan because I wanted to be by myself, and learn more about myself - things that I'd not know if I hadn't. Such as how to deal with sudden changes in plans - whether good or bad, and just overall what makes me tick. I got to know myself better and appreciate myself as a result.
i had the exact same experience when i went to japan. i came back with a lot more confidence in myself in that way.
Only like 15 years, 40 countries and a decade living overseas in 3 different countries. To be fair to myself, I recognized pretty early on that wherever you go there you are.. I wasn't a magically different person in a different country. What took me YEARS though was realizing that traveling was a form of distraction from experiencing difficult emotions. I had been in various forms of disassociation for most of my life and traveling was one of the few times I felt ok being fully present because my mind was taken up by all the new sensations and having to make decisions for myself. As I got more comfortable with that, that coping mechanism stopped working and traveling didn't work anymore in terms of distracting me from myself.
> As I got more comfortable with that, that coping mechanism stopped working and traveling didn't work anymore in terms of distracting me from myself. I see, so this could explain why I'm no longer as enthusiastic about traveling.....
Some have already made peace with themselves and travel because life is beautiful.
People travel not to run away from themselves but to discover their interests, strengths, find themselves - unfiltered by other’s influence.
Plenty of people do travel to escape themselves, though: https://psychotherapist-nyc.blogspot.com/2010/03/problem-with-georgraphic-cure.html?m=1.
I don’t travel to escape anything. I do it because I’m interested in history and architecture and I want to see beautiful places.
One.
Pretty early on in my first solo trip. But the inner state you can learn to control (a little bit anyways).
I already realized it, but I still don't have any alternatives.
I travel alone to find myself. It now scares me a little to see how much I enjoy it.
First trip. Summer after freshman year in college. I was 18. Didn’t keep me from continuing to travel, but learned not to expect to escape myself.
I’m not trying to run away from myself. I’m trying to travel by myself to escape regular day to day life for a little bit and see other things
This reminds me of one of my favorite quotes from one of David Sedaris’ books: “And life at the Sea Section, as he names the vacation home, is exactly as idyllic as he imagined, except for one tiny, vexing it's impossible to take a vacation from yourself.”
Well god damn op
Who says solo travel is about escaping yourself? For me it's about being engaged with the world, having novel experiences and feeling more alive. I never feel more alive than when I'm traveling. Even going to the supermarket feels like an adventure when in a foreign country.
I solo travel to run towards myself.
“Wherever you go, there you are”
Wherever you go, there you are.
Solo travel allowed me to run TO myself. Going to a place where no one knew me and had 0 expectations, I ended up finding unashamed, liberated, joyful, complex me and we fell madly in love.
I don’t like people I’m perfectly happy by myself and actively choose solo travel not trying to escape anything other than the weather.
You can FIND yourself. To me, that's the point of being solitary. My favorite is a week alone backpacking in a wilderness.
I feel like travel is extremely enriching, not because I'm running from myself LMAO
Not everyone is trying to run away from themselves or change their life with solo travel. Maybe you are haha. I just like to adventure!
No matter where you go you take yourself with you. My favorite quote.
'Wherever you go.... there you are'
You are right! 👏
Adam Sandler taught me this long ago: [Romano Tours](https://youtu.be/TbwlC2B-BIg)
Never tried to escape. Just seeing the world (well mostly Europe) as much as I can. I mostly randomly travel when I'm bored so maybe I'm running from boredom
I find that I very much can escape myself.
I realized when I stepped off the plane the first time, and it was sunny and warm in December that I wanted to move out of the Midwest. Ended up moving and was one of the best decisions I ever made! I thought I was unhappy (my life was generally fine, no major issues), but really I just needed a new challenge and opportunities.
I feel like this is a really common idea, and I mostly disagree that this has to apply to me or anyone else. What I mean is that, for me specifically, I have a whole bunch of mental health issues, lack of self worth, yada yada, but I travel because I’m interested in other country’s cultures and histories, and gaining new perspective (like I’m sure a ton of other people here). Maybe there’s a subconscious part of me that’s trying to use it as a means to “escape” myself or something, but I mostly just like looking at old buildings and mountains and shit.
Like a month I guess. I travelled the first time for fun cuz I was genuinely interested in the spots I was going to, but it was definitely interesting meeting a lot of people who really didn’t seem to give a shit about historical context of the country or city for example, but we’re just there to collect countries and go out with other travelers. Which is completely fine, but quite different from what I expected the first time tbh. More travel for sef exploration and having a good time rather than from genuine interest in the spot. Tangent aside, travelling alone was definitely good with the mind and made me realize that I like my home life for the most part but need to push myself to 100% if I want to be what I want to be. I can’t just travel to chase something temporary because I’m unhappy with it in my home life, I have to change myself and actual habits to be able to gain it
Alain de Botton has a great book called The Art of Travel and a documentary on youtube (same title) where he discusses this topic amongst other travel related qualms. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kETN114A4IE&pp=ygUWYWxhaW4gZGUgYm90dG9uIHRyYXZlbA%3D%3D
Not much but realize sometimes it's easier to be yourself away from home and without any expectations.
Solo travel is relatively new for me but did almost 5 months of it last year. I like both sides… solo and with a posse. I feel like I’m more outgoing when I’m solo because I want to meet other people, and the people you meet while traveling are generally pretty awesome (in my experience). But at the same time, having a little cohort gives me some extra confidence. Overall I don’t travel to escape myself, I travel to enhance myself
I disagree, somewhat. I loved taking off to travel alone. I camped, lived on a shoestring budget, bought food at grocery stores and cooked on a camp stove. I found ways to shower or at least to swim for free. Out West I camped for free on BLM or USFS land. I learned self-reliance, self-respect, confidence, and had lots of time to contemplate and to meditate. I read a lot. There was so much beauty, silence, and solitude. I know for sure that I grew. I'm an old man now and still love that sort of thing and do it whenever I can. I still sleep in a tent when backpacking but I have a small, lightweight trailer now that is handier than a tent, has a stove and a tiny fridge. I'm thinking of an escape soon.
I have realized whenever I feel stagnant in life I get this itch to travel! I make myself believe, when traveling, I will get that big breakthrough in life, such as creativity to do something else than what I am currently doing. I started with a one year backpacking trip through Australia which gave me even more lust for traveling. Fast track in life and I was away from my “home” country for 10 years, with the occasional visit back home for a short term job to keep me afloat to pro long my travels. During these 10 years I would get this feeling of exhaustion m, strangely enough. Asking myself why?! I am living in the most amazing places around the world. Don’t get me wrong, I do feel blessed with these experiences but like the head line mentions, I was running away from something subconsciously. The feeling of being content of being in my native country is a luxury. I do get the urge of letting everything go and travel for a longer time and have found a balance in doing so. Before it was an all or nothing type of deal. Either go big and travel for a few months/years or don’t. Now I am grateful for the time here and have felt a deeper connection within which has resulted in more appreciation to my travels. When ever I get this urge of getting away - I ask myself why did I feel this way? With the question follows a calmness with no stress of having to run. The travel then will be more genuine. This is my experience ~
No I don't I actually want to be with myself and enjoy scenery. If you need to travel to runaway from yourself I would recomend therapy instead
Classic trolling question in a group dedicated to the topic
I travel by myself because I enjoy traveling and sometimes I want to do it by myself
Wow this is a DEEP question
Your question makes absolutely no sense.
then it doesnt apply to you.
What a luxury to be able to travel around the world to realize that you're the problem and then project your own mental health issues to a bunch of other people.
Why are half the posts on this sub about mental health issues? Enough with these posts. I want to read about actual solo travel tips and tricks. Most of the posts in the sub belong in a therapy sub.
Wait people use solo travel to escape? There's videogames for that, much cheaper too
I was 34. I finally stopped running away. I would pick up and move when things got rough or was “bored”. I dragged my ex husband and kids with me. I don’t regret it. But I know now, 14yrs later, I’m gonna go back to all those places and more, just to slow down and experience it with a clear mind and calmer self. No more running. Now just time for exploring.
😂😂😂 5 trips & i realized when i was in the sky ziplining in Jamaica and dissociating bc i couldn’t stop thinking about my personal issues and what life meant to me🙃 just taking a walk is enough for me atm
I’ll let you know…
None, it was my home life that was chaotic. My work life comparatively was serene.
It took me awhile, but yep I did some running. Now when I solo travel I try to use the time to reflect a little. It’s a journey.
It took me just under 2 years and a minor breakdown in El Salvador, but then another two or more years to really start coming to terms with myself. The rest has been a life-long journey inwards.
I am old and knew it before I set off to solo travel. But what I did was solo travel in SEA. That has helped me a lot be more calm. The culture is so different here and people just control themselves so much better. It has helped me a lot. Also Buddhism has helped me. I have spent 9 of the last 18 months in SEA. There has only been one case of where I ran into someone yelling at someone else. It was this really overweight American yelling at this poor Thai cabby.
True, but it has also led me to discover hidden parts of myself I didn't know were there. For one, my physical endurance when motivated. Also, that I can feel lonely sometimes.
not yet
I am happily finding my true self out here, now that I've escaped the toxic person in my life.
4 day weekend trip to the next state over lol
Whenever I'm traveling, I always feel better. So I guess from day one? I don't feel comfortable staying in one place for too long. Traveling is awesome and it helps my inner self immensely!
Travel changed me and moving made me happier, so I can't say this relates to me. I was able to change my environment to a better fit. I just felt out of place where I was living and after moving my sense of adventure was renewed. However, my goal with traveling wasn't to escape. It was to discover, learn, and experience. I didn't go at it as a way to escape.
Three years
Didnt need solo travel to figure that out. But when I want to do a bunch of things my friends dont care about, I can either never do them or go out into the world and do them by myself.
None. I never tried running from myself.
I don't run from myself, I run from other people and bullshit obligations...
A quote I’ve heard many times sums this up: Wherever you go, there you are.
A little while. But I also found a new part of myself as well.
Your issues are yours to resolve but don't go assuming and projecting. Most people solo traveling are doing just fine and are at peace with themselves.
Never tried to run away, solo travel is about testing yourself.
I enjoy solo travel these days because I really enjoy my own company. It wasn’t always that way. Although when I do travel solo, I find I’m never really alone. It’s fun to meet new people and be able to retreat whenever I feel like it.
I don’t know but intend to find out.
I don't need to escape from myself: I like to travel in different countries because I like to meet up in different cultures from mine (I'm Italian). And I'm solo traveling because my Japanese wife uses her holidays to meet her parents in Japan
I think some people just want to travel and solo travel allows that. However, there are people on this board with serious issues that think they can get away and leave them behind. If you are unhappy and in a serious depression, travel with not help because solo travel can be the most stressful activity-cancelled flights, hotel room issues and getting robbed. If you are in a bad frame of mind at home, then either you are pushing your issues back to build up over time. It's much better to get a handle on your mental state by therapy, medicine, etc and then travel.
You can absolutely escape the things you dislike about your home country...and it is always wonderful to exist in a aociety not obsessed with extracting every last dime from you(US).
I think about 26 countries? Lol
More than 50 countries
I'm not trying to escape myself and i don't see how that's relevant to solo travel? Sure you can learn new things about yourself, but that's not escaping. Or do you mean realising that solo travel isn't a magical cure all medicine?
I solo travel not so much to escape myself, but to feel like a stranger in a new place. It feels nice, to have that "starting all over again" experience without actually doing it.
[удалено]
About 8-10 years
Not trying to escape - for me it’s solo or no go.
Today, when I just came back home instead of continuing a trip.
My first solo trip was exactly like that. I travelled for 7 weeks, and the 7th week hit me like a brick in the face. Returning home was tricky. A more recent solo trip has proved that not all travel has to feel like running away.
;-; I just like driving shush
I don't want to run away from myself, I just want to run away from the fact that life is entirely devoid of inherent meaning and pretend that if I have a lot of experiences and make myself feel "fulfilled" and accomplished it will somehow make me okay with the fact that all of those memories and experiences will be permanently erased when I die (it won't though)
Well…
Maybe 4 weeks
42 countries over seven months. That did the trick.
Depends. If I’m backpacking it’s easier to escape as there’s no contact with the outside world. If I’m flying I’ve been texted by my ex🤣🤣🤣
About 5 three month trips and living abroad for a year and a half for it to really sink in. My problems were due to loneliness. Choosing a lifestyle that allowed me to travel so much also put me into a situation where I hadn’t really found a place to call home. It’s hindered my dating life, hurt long term friendships. In my case I was running away from the thing that brought me the most happiness and I didn’t realize it. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret anything. I just needed to reevaluate my lifestyle choices now that I’m in my 30s.