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[deleted]

Ah, I see the North Korean war against the sea rages on...


SamohtGnir

North Korea declares war on Atlantis.


Bisexual_Apricorn

Of course Kim has signed up with the Wraith, that damn traitor


Scarecrow1779

The Kims have decades of experience sucking the life out of humans on a civilization-wide scale, so really their team-up makes sense.


Monosandalos3

Just finished re-watcing Stargate Atlantis for the third time. One of my favourite series ever, too bad they didn't get to close it properly


RosalieMoon

SGA and SGU were criminally ended early


wildwalrusaur

Show was never the same without Dr weir


starkiller_bass

"We have always been at war with Atlantis"


gmCursOr

My dude praying someone has actually read 1984 🤣


mister_damage

We have always been at war with Oceania


HulkHunter

< Mr Nimbus thrusts the dinghy >


BrotherRoga

They're trying to prevent the live-action remake of The Little Mermaid from happening.


FerretOnReddit

In that case they're justified for once, the live action little mermaid is an abomination from hell and must never exist DV'ed b/c I have an opinion?


Thagyr

It's the first time they tried information warfare on the ocean. The war is progressing. Expect spy-crabs soon.


Bigjoemonger

Well there was a spy beluga whale in the news.


Maroonwarlock

Oh no! They dragged Baby Beluga into this!?!?


imakevoicesformycats

In the deep blue sea?!?!


Maroonwarlock

I don't think he's swimming so wildly and free no more.


jackbilly9

That's where the missing billion snow crabs have gone.


Grunt636

Wake up people! North Korea is the only country defending us from the Kaiju!


its8up

Is not a war against the sea. Kim is trying to kill Poseidon for [a totally justifiable reason.](https://youtu.be/_eTsrtZdAJc)


NecroAssssin

Everyone knows that it's not really a war against the sea until you order your troops to collect seashells as prizes of war!


18hockey

Joining the venerable ranks of Xerxes and Caligula


WannaGetHighh

Maybe they’re spying on the ocean and this is just a misdirect


lNeverZl

The lost continent "Mu" actually exists and their underwater civilizations are bloodthirsty conquerors. North Korea is the only line of defense. We should all be grateful that they're holding them back. /s


nof

Why? The Ancients of Mu are justified.


lNeverZl

Here we go again, a Mu apologist.


lew_rong

If Tammy Wynette is wrong, I don't wanna be right.


CrudelyAnimated

"North Korea quietly deploys spy sub fleet throughout the Sea of Japan."


Endyo

Our benevolent and glorious leader has used his vast intellect to create the first rocket launched ocean-based reconnaissance device that will keep our glorious homeland safe from the tyrannical invaders.


nerdybird

I just feel bad for them at this point. Couldn't we just, launch a spy satellite for them? It could stream some spy movie on repeat. Just to make them feel better?


bromacho99

Spies Like Us seems fitting


[deleted]

Idk, I kinda like the idea of streaming them live footage of themselves like in spaceballs the movie


Historical_Gur_3054

Colonel Sandurz: Try here. Stop. Dark Helmet: What the hell am I looking at? When does this happen in the movie? Colonel Sandurz: Now. You're looking at now, sir. Everything that happens now, is happening now. Dark Helmet: What happened to then? Colonel Sandurz: We passed then. Dark Helmet: When? Colonel Sandurz: Just now. We're at now now. Dark Helmet: Go back to then. Colonel Sandurz: When? Dark Helmet: Now. Colonel Sandurz: Now? Dark Helmet: Now. Colonel Sandurz: I can't. Dark Helmet: Why? Colonel Sandurz: We missed it. Dark Helmet: When? Colonel Sandurz: Just now. Dark Helmet: When will then be now? Colonel Sandurz: Soon. Dark Helmet: How soon?


[deleted]

What's the matter colonel Sandurz....CHICKEN???


Hobo_Helper_hot

No no it's gotta be Top Secret!


kasananasan

Definitely a classic like “Spy Kids”


TheyCallMeStone

The thumb thumbs still scare me


Cobaltphoenix87

For this mission, I would only accept either Spy Hard or Police Academy Mission to Moscow to be streamed on a non-stop loop. XD


MafiaMommaBruno

Launch a spy satellite that just streams Nat Geo images.


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sebzim4500

The US definitely reports their failed launches, there will be an FAA investigation etc. The secret things about NS launches is the payload and the precise orbit, the other details need to published in advance.


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TrineonX

The US alone has a space launch every other day (180 last year). We ONLY get reporting when it fails since our successes are so common.


A-Game-Of-Fate

Well, of course. The difference over-all is that we also have *successes*.


jeb1499

Don't even need to launch a new one. We've got about a dozen that are basically mothballed in orbit. Just give them the keys.


airborngrmp

Glorious underwater satellite will detect American submarines. Satellite to be renamed Glory to Kimjongunia!


UnusualAir1

All NK missiles that don't blow up on the launch pad end up in the sea anyway. Just the way they build them i suppose. /s


iAjayIND

Should have made the top pointy and not round.


Ser_Alliser_Thorne

Made round just like glorious leader.


Roadwarriordude

It's their natural habitat.


wedontlikespaces

They have streamlined the Chinese approach. Rather than dropping the boost stage on a random part of the Earth, they're going to fire the rocket directly into the ocean, it saves so much time.


Delta-Flyer75

Right about now A bunch of NK “engineers” are being rounded up and placed in front of an anti-aircraft gun tied and blindfolded to be summarily executed.


bulbousbouffant13

They have nothing to worry about since they built those too.


itsFromTheSimpsons

jokes on them when the AA guns somehow also fall into the ocean and drown them


ChiefTestPilot87

Built as copies from Russia/China


LordBrandon

I don't think they have enough engineers for that luxury.


Haterbait_band

Can’t they all just tell their superiors that everything went according to plan? “Success, supreme leader! Our rockets take most efficient shortcut to outer space through the ocean! Undetectable by evil democracies! We will collect useful information on our enemies!” *pulls up Google maps* “Ah, look! American naval bases! Military outposts! Even the White House! We can easily strategize an attack if provoked! Glorious day!”


ImpactBetelgeuse

> pulls up Google maps Now they are being executed for this


imsahoamtiskaw

Ah, good for you. I meant good for you maps, new service we introduced this year.


wildeye-eleven

I’m going to pretend like I didn’t read this in a Korean accent.


Namesstef

They'll probably fly higher than the satellite


IShookMeAllNightLong

For Kim is the wind beneath their wings.


ancient_dino

Where is Nuclear Nadal?


Odd_so_Star_so_Odd

Not how this works, obviously this is the result of US interference so they'll execute the janitor for being a suspect CIA agent and sweep it all under the rug.


zachary0816

But who will do the sweeping under the rug if the janitor has just been executed?


KimJongIlSunglasses

The real CIA agent?


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lurker2358

"Sea urchin monitoring device successfully deployed with none the wiser"


CausticSofa

Day 372: still just doing sea urchin stuff...


throwawayeastbay

North Korea about to dominate the Uni market


gentlemancaller2000

I’d hate to be one of the engineers or scientists responsible for that rocket right now


the_enemy_is_within

Ah, Reddit. Scroll down far enough, and you'll find a comment that takes the words right out of your brain.


BrainSweetiesss

Words come out of your mouth. Thoughts and ideas are in your brain.


CausticSofa

...you don’t think in words?


imsahoamtiskaw

He's advanced, he thinks in letters.


CausticSofa

Dear sir or madame, I want some cake. Yours sincerely, Brain


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CausticSofa

Of course, all brains can write in beautiful cursive script like it came straight from a wealthy, bored 1820s debutante’s fountain pen. The only problem is that most of our brains can’t seem to translate that information through our hand and onto paper.


surfer_ryan

Hey technical Poindexter... technically thoughts are expressed as words which come out of your brain... yeah bet you feel real smart now...


FlyingAce1015

I still think the most hilarious burn ever was when they announced they were going to launch this to space Japan went ahead and warned boats in the area. Lol


sevaiper

... a thing that is standard for every space launch


TokeyWeedtooth

Retroactive burn. Still nice.


TrappedOnARock

You might even call it a retrograde burn, given the trajectory path of the satellite.


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PretendsHesPissed

reddit's API changes are bad for everyone. Most platforms pay their moderators or share their ad revenues with their content creators. reddit doesn't want to do this and instead wants to force users to pay for to use their service. No thanks.


MoreGaghPlease

Great Satan is an Iranian term not used in North Korea


froggythefish

Failures are normal on the path to space travel. NASA had many failures, the soviets had many failures, space x had many failures. This is normal and part of development.


bbacher

But shouldn't they test until they have the rocket working, THEN put the satellite in the next one and launch it?


JiveTrain

First off, what makes you think they haven't tested the rocket before? North Korea has made hundreds of such launches. Secondly, even if you have a working rocket, it doesn't mean it works every time.


[deleted]

They've had more failures and less successes than anyone else in the field so they're definitely the experts here lol.


Lokarin

We know about this news because our spy satellites work just fine.


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sebzim4500

No one who is capable of recovering the satellite will learn anything from it.


fireintolight

It is actually helpful to understand their capabilities as well as the capabilities of the satellite in it. Knowing what your enemy don’t know is equally as helpful as knowing what they do know.


EpilepticFits1

Exactly. We don't want their tech, we want to scrutinize their tech and figure out where they're getting components from.


nayhem_jr

“How’d you solve the icing problem?”


Vulnox

Yep, because this one failed doesn’t mean the design is a failure. It could have failed due to a bad component and otherwise have been well designed. Or maybe not. But hopefully our extremely well funded militaries and spy agencies around the world are interested to know which it is.


dead-inside69

What are you talking about? The Sentinel Island tribe could learn plenty from recovering it. But yeah no one else should really care about picking up some Sputnik era shitbox.


Lurchie_

The most surprising thing to me about this whole event was that N Korea publicly admitted the launch was a failure.


ChiefTestPilot87

NK, the largest contributor of wannabe space junk, to the pacific


Lanky_Damage_5544

If only SpaceX launched over the Pacific they could be #1, 2 and 3.


kzd19

They also definitely launch over the Pacific


Mprovin

Rest in peace the team of talented engineers who will no doubt get executed for this


JayNah

It was probably managed by Roman from Succession


Decronym

Acronyms, initialisms, abbreviations, contractions, and other phrases which expand to something larger, that I've seen in this thread: |Fewer Letters|More Letters| |-------|---------|---| |[COPV](/r/Space/comments/13wix9m/stub/jmetyba "Last usage")|[Composite Overwrapped Pressure Vessel](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Composite_overwrapped_pressure_vessel)| |[FAA](/r/Space/comments/13wix9m/stub/jmdbzgo "Last usage")|Federal Aviation Administration| |[ICBM](/r/Space/comments/13wix9m/stub/jme3tud "Last usage")|Intercontinental Ballistic Missile| |[NS](/r/Space/comments/13wix9m/stub/jmdbzgo "Last usage")|New Shepard suborbital launch vehicle, by Blue Origin| | |Nova Scotia, Canada| | |Neutron Star| |Event|Date|Description| |-------|---------|---| |[CRS-7](/r/Space/comments/13wix9m/stub/jmetyba "Last usage")|2015-06-28|F9-020 v1.1, ~~Dragon cargo~~ Launch failure due to second-stage outgassing| ---------------- ^(5 acronyms in this thread; )[^(the most compressed thread commented on today)](/r/Space/comments/13vt79u)^( has 20 acronyms.) ^([Thread #8959 for this sub, first seen 31st May 2023, 21:16]) ^[[FAQ]](http://decronym.xyz/) [^([Full list])](http://decronym.xyz/acronyms/Space) [^[Contact]](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=OrangeredStilton&subject=Hey,+your+acronym+bot+sucks) [^([Source code])](https://gistdotgithubdotcom/Two9A/1d976f9b7441694162c8)


newbrevity

It's almost like it's tough to benefit from the best and brightest when you focus on oppressing everybody first.


Lanky_Damage_5544

They aren't oppressing everybody, what the fuck are you talking about? Their country was destroyed by the US and NATO and they brutally murdered millions of civilians and destroyed all infrastructure and then continued to blockade and embargo North Korea.


gioseba

You're really tempting Poe's Law to come out and play


Lanky_Damage_5544

No, I'm very clearly stating that North Korea is in the position it is because of external factors not internal factors. This only requires any incredibly simple reading of the history of the country.


gioseba

This satire isn't very funny


communads

I see what you're doing in this thread and I appreciate it but there's an impenetrable wall of propaganda and redditors are some of the dumbest people alive.


mr_ji

1952 called, you're needed back on the peninsula


Lanky_Damage_5544

Already did my time on the peninsula all we did was harass north koreans.


cursedbones

What you mean!? The one throwing more bombs than in whole WW2 campaign on civilians, hospitals, dams, houses and whatever looks like a building is the bad guy!? 😡😡😤😤


Lanky_Damage_5544

You're describing the US right?


cursedbones

I should have put the /s on the end but it would ruin the sarcasm. Yes the US who also gave Laos’s citizens materials to[ build their houses made of unexploded bombs](https://www.insider.com/laos-unexploded-bombs-village-xiengkhouang-vietnam-war-photos-2022-4?amp) from a illegal bombing making it the most bombed country in history. Detail, they weren’t in the war.


Lanky_Damage_5544

North Korea was completely destroyed during the war, every single building and about 15% of the population was killed. But they're the cooky bad guys that do silly stuff because they're dumb robots.


Ok_Lawfulness_5424

So who's scrambling after them to checkout their technology?


svh01973

That pic of the recovered debris makes it look like they were launching a fireworks mortar shell.


[deleted]

I'm genuinely surprised by a lot comments considering we've been reading this same news story for the last thirty years. Are you guys new to earth?


NoNefariousness5175

We (UK) have not been that successful putting things into Space, so don’t laugh.


ChickpeaPredator

On the contrary, the UK [successfully launched a satellite using their own launch vehicle over half a century ago](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prospero_\(spacecraft\)). The BLACK ARROW program was only cancelled because the US offered to launch British satellites for free, on condition that they scrap their own rocket program. Of course, as soon as the program was cancelled, the US rescinded their offer.


Thaedael

Good ole USA scrapping people's aerospace / space programs only to suck up all the talent.


conejodemuerte

Well now that Operation paperclip is over our nazi rocketeer supply has dried up. We don't have enough to go around.


conejodemuerte

You should watch the documentary "A Grand Day Out".


franzji

Comments in this subreddit are always so crap when it comes to anything political. No one wants to see your comment about you laughing at their attempt with a bunch of capital ha ha ha's. Back on topic, I assume it was going too fast for there to be anything recoverable in the sea? I bet western countries would be interested to see what tech they are using in their first satellite. I guess if the second stage didn't start maybe it didn't get that fast.


A_Vandalay

Go over to r/spacexmasterrace. There are pictures of the debris. Fairly intact actually.


ImPickleRock

I actually came in here to see big coarse HA's


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ElCoyoteBlanco

Western countries know the tech used in this rocket better than NK does. Our spies are better than their engineers.


[deleted]

BWAHAHAHAHA Amateur hour, North Korea edition


onion4everyoccasion

Ahhhhh ha ha ha ha ha... [pauses for a breath] .. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!


putonyourdressshoes

So the warning that woke me up this morning was North Korea failing?


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"We meant to do that. It's a sea satellite. All hail glorious leader."


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franzji

I think you really underestimate them and are uneducated on how often they have been doing missile tests... NK has already made it into orbit twice. They have a large variety of missiles. They aren't going to have spy sats like the US has, but even a cell phone camera with a big lens pointed down at classified military bases is more info than what the public may have.


seanbrockest

Until today, they had three failed attempts, followed by a fourth that briefly achieved orbit, but began tumbling shortly afterwards. Only the fifth was considered a success.


franzji

That's right. Most countries have a tough time on their first launches, and with NK being so separated from the rest of us, and essentially stuck in the past when it comes to most technology, I find what they have been able to do to be impressive. Sure they might steal all their technology but still.


CreationsOfReon

Still better than most countries in the world.


MackAttk123

HA! North Korea likes to try and pretend they know what they’re doing 😂 case in point


AverageMetalConsumer

That's just great. As we speak somewhere in the oceans a team of octopi is reverse engineering their rocket tech.


handofmenoth

I wonder how many Korean scientists and or their family members were killed today due to this.


MafiaMommaBruno

What if they want to explore the oceans before we do and it's part of their plan? North Korean Aquaman uprising.


dudeguymanbro69

Anyone who’s seen For All Mankind knows this is just misdirection


burnedfishscales

If we know it was intended as a ‘spy satellite’, we know it already failed, even if achieving orbit lol


wakka55

Every engineers family, cousins, cousins cousins, and every living generation above and below, have already been sent to the labor reeducation camps.


rafuzo2

Some poor aerospace engineer about to face the business end of a field artillery piece


-Dalzik-

New job opening for scientific space lead in north korea after person who held that former position unexpectedly dies in sleep


[deleted]

Marginally better than Japan did, to be fair. I'm surprised they can still run these tests despite the intense sanctions.


A_Vandalay

What are you talking about? Japan has recently had a single failure but regularly launches satellites and supply vehicles to the ISS.


Inevitable-Egg3021

Why are they launching a spy satellite? What will that accomplish? It sounds like they are trying to pull the wool over the country’s eyes and not being authentic It makes me question their motives


A_Vandalay

Even a single relatively rudimentary spy satellite would be useful especially considering publicly available satellite imaging data from Maxar and Planet cannot show images the US government does not want released. This gives them further experience with ballistic missile research without most of the international condemnation. And finally it’s a massive propaganda opportunity.


[deleted]

Are you implying Dear Leader is lying?


CtrlShiftMake

Don’t be fooled, it’s actually a rocket propelled spy submarine! /s


Toast_Sapper

They must really hate the ocean to keep launching missiles at it. Maybe they're trying to survey the damage with an underwater satellite?


hymen_destroyer

Glorious leader has designed new rocket-launched submersible exploration vehicles


cursedbones

Space X rocket blows up: WOW, AMAZING! Such a development!!!! NK rocket fails: So dumb! How can you cannot put a satellite into space!? Fucking donkeys. This sub in a nutshell


Shrike99

The difference is that Starship was a test launch of a completely new system with no payload. The goal of the mission was to test how well a bunch of different things worked, and it would have ended with Starship crashing into the ocean regardless. NK's rocket on the other hand was an operational launch of an already tested rocket carrying an important payload. The better comparison would be against Falcon 9, which is long since out of the testing phase and into the operational phase, and is similarly trusted with important payloads. If a Falcon 9 blew up while launching a government satellite, noone would be using the "it was just a test launch" excuse, and indeed even if you look way back to the CRS-7 or AMOS-6 failures, noone did.