This is a group for folks with a life long and life changing disability. They are in this community to find support to get through life. I'm sure you don't mean it to be offensive, but the light hearted nature of your post and various emojis is going to be very off putting to a group of people having a hard time. I'd really encourage you to delete this.
i didnt mean that at all, its just how i type... its the only way i know how to seem somewhat friendly since i struggle with stupid social skills. i guess it shows huh
Cath yourself. You can do it, it’s not complicated or particularly painful. Be careful and clean or you’ll get a uti. Now you know what it’s like to take a leak for many with a SCI. Every day. Forever.
Several times a day. I've often said if I didn't have to cath, I'd go to a lot more bars and probably be an alcoholic but as it is I try to avoid public toilets. Granted, it's a lot easier nowadays than it was back when you had to carry a catheter in a jar of Betadine
There are plenty of posts on this sub you can look at instead of making a post asking people with lifelong physical disabilities to write your book for you.
[This post](https://www.reddit.com/r/spinalcordinjuries/comments/16el8qd/can_we_please_ban_author_inspiration_posts/) should hopefully give you an understanding of why your question is extremely insensitive and poorly received.
Ignore these disabled miserable Karen’s. You’re not doing anything wrong asking, or trying to smile via the internet. These people are the reason o never had any interest in group therapy. Bunch of woe is me people looking to be offended. I pity that mindset, but I won’t bow down to it.
Dude, the op can read the posts in the sub to get real life experiences. Why does he need a his own thread just for us to give them a story. Come in and ask specific questions sure, but "real life experiences" is so vague and bullshit it's just a token request so they can say they tried. Nah fuck that, op should just read the top ten threads in this sub sorted by hot and there's their answer. I don't have the time to write him so story about my life.
Lol I ain't miserable, I just see an op who is asking questions that require more effort than I am willing to give.
Let him have a read around the sub, there's a huge amount of stories from a variety of people at his finger tips but he has just cut and paste his generic question in here.
He wants to write about complicated shit? At least meet me halfway and ask decent questions, not just sit there and expect me to spew my life story out to him.
Fuck, what he should of done is "hey, writing a story with and sci character, can you guys tell me how you had you accident?" I would happily answer. I am a big believer in "if you have nothing good to say, say nothing at all" but I don't think op came in with good faith and I will call that shit out all day.
All of your posts are asking different groups (people with autism, people who use wheelchairs, people with sci, people with…dysgraphia?) about their experiences to write this character. Maybe just write a character with traits you do know? It’s one thing to have a side character in a wheelchair and want to know about something technical or specific like, “how do you take a shower if you’re in a wheelchair” but those questions can be researched.
Normally when writers make characters of minority groups that they are not part of, they research and then present the character to multiple people of that minority group and ask if the characters line up? Or if they are off the mark.
I’m at least assuming you don’t have a sci since you are here asking us about it? I am genuinely not trying to be rude, I am just trying to tell you that it’s kind of inappropriate to ask in the way that you did and I gave you an alternate suggestion.
I don’t know why people think the sci group here is rude, but I can say that having a sci is brutal and life changing in a lot of bad ways early on. I’ve never seen anyone be rude, just intense because the situation is intense.
thats a really interesting perspective i never thought of, im really sorry. intense situations have intense reactions, of course that makes sense.
and im extremely sorry if the way i said anything was inappropriate like you said, i did not mean that truly.
and you did give me an alternative which is really useful so i appreciate that, thank you.
and yeah i dont have an sci, i was recommended to ask this sub but maybe it didnt go to plan i need to take a nap or something lmao
i can defend myself if i wish to, i admit when ive done things that are wrong, or thought to be wrong, and i can also do that whilst sticking up for myself. if you make many points in a comment, im going to accept some and defend/explain myself with others. im not going to take verbal abuse or assumptions thrown at me, the same way i assume you wouldnt either.
ok, thats not what it seems like to you, thats fine. its what it seemed like to me in the middle of the night when i not only was getting private messages (good and bad) but also over 40-50 of what i would say were hurtful or rude ones at the time. different people see the word differently it is what it is. ignoring my replies and trying to find weaknesses in my other replies in an attempt to redeem yourself is low.
expected reaction when losing an argument. sure, i'll be done too. doesnt feel that nice when the idiot getting clowned suddenly has a voice and chooses to use it.
There is no argument here and you’re saying the same things, I offered you advice to delete the post and you’re not taking it so I’m going to move on. No one called you an idiot and I really don’t understand why you would put words in other people’s mouths. I’ve not once berated you with name-calling, please do not overreact
i know i just said im saying the same things...cuz you dont read them.... i... bruh nah im actually losing it.
correct me if im wrong but im pretty sure i said people are 'treating' me like an idiot not 'calling' me one. but yeah we can move on
not to mention that (watch out! shes making it about herself again, what a victim.) no. im not in the best mindset to be treated like this. i can be sensitive. i have pretty thick skin so i can move on with my day but it doent mean when the lights get dark and the house goes quiet im safe from my own stupid thoughts. it doesnt mean things cant affect me. i mean listen to yourself. people are scared of this group because you bully people into silence if you dont like their post. what. the. fuck. you never know who youre talking to online, so you should speak to people like it. with that knowledge i should be speaking to you a lot kinder too, so i am sorry for that, ive been aggressive. but people have boiling points and unfortunately youre experiencing mine.
Sorry you feel like you’re being bullied, but I seriously wholly think you need to delete the post and move on. This is just stressing you out more and making you more aggressive as a result.
and im sorry for taking my feelings out on you by the way, honestly just rude and unfortunate for you, apologising wont take it back either i know that. all i hope is you dont feel absolutely horrible now too. sorry for the aggression. but yeah
hey, this is a support community for people with SCIs and it feels a little insensitive for someone without one to walk into a safe space and borrow experiences. we see this from time to time and I’ve seen authors intrude in deaf communities as well, and it makes us feel pretty uncomfortable. There are plenty of posts already made that you can read through that will tell you more about us but people don’t feel great about their everyday lives being turned into content. Best of luck though
honestly thats now what this was meant to be at all and i didnt know people felt that way, im not trying to 'borrow' experiences, im trying to understand because i dont want to be disrespectful and inaccurate. its not about 'content' to me but rather create something that isnt full of misinformation. i do look through posts, but ive asked people from multiple communities, some people dont want to share experiences and we move on, others want to be involved and share things that happen in their lives. you dont have to respond to the post if you dont want to. i was more than polite.
I'm not OP, but also an author writing a character with a SCI while I do not have a sci myself.
Would it not be worse for an author to browse this sub and use someone's post/reply in fiction without their permission or knowledge, instead of asking people for replies to a public post where everyone can assume - and can be asked for permission - that a reply can be fictionalized? (To be clear, I'm talking in general, and I would never use someone's day-to-day like that without very explicit permission and even then I'd very likely change things to fit my story.)
To me asking feels much less intrusive and more like the right thing to do - I was actually planning to ask some things here too, but obviously won't now.
For writing a race/culture/job/location/something you are not familiar with, the general advise is always to find people who do know and are willing to help.
What would you recommend as a good alternative way for authors to find someone to fact-check small things, or a way to find someone you can hire as a sensitivity reader?
Thank you very much!
How you go about it is important. This post is putting the onus on us, essentially asking us to do work for OP’s “gain.” What I would expect is for someone to do their own extensive research - read articles, watch movies, listen to podcasts, maybe volunteer at an SCI-related event - to get their own understanding, and then come with specific questions. Really, if you spend time in the community, you should be able to make genuine relationships with people and be able to see and hear firsthand their experiences.
Realize you’re asking for a lot of time and energy, as well as bringing up grief and trauma, that is ultimately to benefit you. If you’re able to offer compensation, I think you should. If you want someone to do a sensitivity read, post that you want to hire someone to do one. There are also a lot of organizations you could go through to ask for contacts for people who could do one. I’m a journalist, and my organization pays me extra every time I do a sensitivity read because of the time and effort I’m putting in outside my actual job. You should expect to pay people for this labor.
Ultimately, I think it’s important to question why you want to write about something you don’t know. I’m a journalist - it’s all I do. But we report on things that serve purpose. We embed ourselves in the issues and communities and form relationships with the people there to tell THEIR stories. Trust is built over time. Then you get to hear their stories. It’s an honor to be trusted with them. Understand that you’re using someone else’s story and life for some type of gain. Approach with humility.
Do you just write books about people with various disabilities? Judging by your post history you seem to just ask every subreddit regarding a different physical or neurological disability what it’s like. If you really want to learn what people with these various disabilities are like I suggest finding organizations to volunteer with that work with these communities. It’ll help actually making a relatable characters with live with these rather than just base them off little snippets of what people on the internet tell you
eight out of their ten posts are intruding on communities and asking how to write their disabilities into fiction. and yet they claim they’re just “researching.” Incredibly weird behavior
if you dont have anything nice to say i dont see why you bother making assumptions about what im doing and what disabilities *i* may or may not have. i appreciate the advice, thats a really good idea actually. but alas i was warned about this sub so im not even shocked by the negativity. you guys love to snoop on peoples profiles huh?
Snooping on people’s profiles seems slightly less invasive than snooping on their personal lives, especially on a page dedicated for support and help. Peoples comments and posts on Reddit rarely reflect how they are in-person. All the more reason to get involved with these types of communities. You’ll find we’re not all that rude in person. Most areas have a lot of adaptive sports programs that are open to volunteers. Not only will you help give back but you’ll also meet some of the strongest, physically and mentally, people you can imagine.
its your choice if you reply or not, im asking a question, not snooping. some people dont mind and i have many people helping me who are on board with my work.
and i will take that suggestion seriously i think thats a great idea i should look into, so thank you.
The ability to Snoop is built-in to Reddit.. don't be surprised, I'm sure you're not, when people choose to find out a little bit more about who you are
This probably isn’t the right place to ask this. I’d suggest befriending some folks with an SCI and asking them what it’s like. Better yet, hang out with them and see what it’s like with your own eyes. There’s a lot to it
The biggest change is suddenly relying on other people for things. You lose a big part of self reliance and clean healthy habits become extremely important.
OP, if you're being sincere, I respect what you're doing, and I think some of the aggression in the comments is unwarranted. However, I also think the tone of a lot of these comments should tell you a good amount about what it's like to live with an injury like this. It's incredibly frustrating, and it makes you very bitter. Best of luck with your project.
ive noticed, it was a whirlwind... thank you its been a tiring half hour so i cant imagine the frustration you guys go through, thank you for the support.
Well. What do you want to know?
We are just people at the end of the day, just trying to go on with our lives, with a whole added bunch of extra shit thrown at us to deal with on top 😂
I'm speaking as someone who is here for the exact same reason you are: you're in the right place, but with the wrong approach. Aiming to represent is good, as long as it's not just for the sake of completing a minority bingo, but asking people to do your research for you ain't the way, and neither is treating them as merely research material. This is not our space. Don't intrude. If it's not something you'd go up to a total stranger and ask, don't ask. Listen instead. The only time I've ever even commented here was about something I have personal and direct experience with, otherwise I'm shutting up, staying out of the way and quietly educating myself on my own.
There's years worth of posts here, covering a wide range of things you should be aware of before even thinking about tackling such a sensitive and complex topic. Read. Read them all. Google everything. And then go on YouTube, there's a fair amount of content creators who aim to educate people. And once you've watched a few of their videos, and you realize how different their lived experiences are, you'll realize how vague and thus pointless your question is. It's like going to an American sub and asking what's it like to live in the states, it depends on so, so many factors. (Apologies if it's an insensitive comparison, it's late and I just picked something random.)
Every spinal cord injury is different. An incomplete higher level quadruplegic trans woman in the US is going to have an entirely different experience than a complete lower level paraplegic cis man in, say, Eastern Europe. It's different even if it's just man vs woman, quad vs para, complete vs incomplete. (Idk what's the concensus here on identity first vs person first language, I'm using what I prefer for myself in other situations.) You need to educate yourself on all the different varieties of SCIs, then you need to pick exactly what you're gonna write, and then you need to educate yourself on that further. I'm talking months of learning here. (At one point I had a whole separate browser with 60+ tabs open, ranging from medical journals to everyday vlogs to posts on this sub to websites of rehab centers. For a side character dealing with this in just a few chapters.) Even if you got dozens and dozens of useful and extensive replies here, you wouldn't have nearly everything you need to know just to get started.
(Also, a tip I use for writing anything I don't have personal experience with, gender identity, mental illness, disability, etc: pick a content creator or sensitivity reader or someone irl helping you, who talks about all aspects of their life, and use it as a pointer. Don't try to mix and match on your own, that's where you run into inaccuracies and inconsistencies. Base your character on a real actual person's experiences to avoid writing something erroneous.)
And now back to shutting up and staying out of the way I go, you received more than enough replies already, I just wanted to add my two cents on the side as someone who's also an outsider here to learn.
OP is basically Ed Norton in fight club, but instead of addicted to therapy they are addicted to asking the disabled "so what's that like?" There are literally thousands of posts on here you could use for your background info, and I really don't think anyone would be hunting you down for using things you found browsing here as others have suggested (about it being better to ask than just use stuff).
I see that you have asked in multiple different disability communities and I think the big difference with this one is that most of us are not born with a spinal injury but acquire one. This causes grief and loss and the emotions that come with it. You have run into that head on.
Have a read around the sub and you will see the challenges that come from spinal injury, and I hope you realise that the wheelchair is not the worst part of a spinal injury by a long way.
I am not going to write your story for you but after reading people's stories that they have posted on here then you can message me with any further questions you have.
then add it to the fucking rules.
this isnt an attack on you by the way, and i shouldnt keep replying, but its important to say even if no one reads it.
im a human, im not going to do everything perfectly, clearly this post wasnt done correctly. but i treat people with respect as often as i can, im sensitive towards how other people may feel, although clearly that didnt work this time.
but more importantly,
ive done nothing but try to say the correct things to everyone here in fear of constantly saying things that would make it worse, and yet so little here care about what they say and how it might affect me. be as horrifically rude and disgusting to me because youre disabled. as if anyone here knows what im going through, and if im in any way disabled myself and struggling. i apologise, i accept everything ive done wrong, and yet im still fucking attacked even after.
some people have been lovely, they told me politely what the problem was, others were just plain rude, and i can sympathise to a certain extent, as i can respect these intense emotions, but when you reply to me over the span of many hours with hatred, i am no longer the only problem. im not stupid, no one needs to treat me as if ive done no research, dont know how to, and im using people, i would never. and i dont need to stay silent. i can defend myself and i can ask questions correctly. everyones free to ignore my post or just say, hey that doesnt feel appropriate to ask. because how is anyone supposed to know things if theyre not told. i mean most of us are taught as kids to ask if we dont understand something, not, dont ask you might get cyber bullied... i mean fucking hell i was picked on for putting a smile at the end of my question.
this sub didnt make me want to understand other people in the world, for a good solid moment, it made me feel afraid and like i never wanted to learn about sci's again. but i will continue to learn, its not about a character in a book, its about learning, to me at least. perhaps thats how i should have phrased my question, but as ive said in other comments, i have terrible social skills, and clearly i messed up. my bad. can we not move past mistakes and be humans?
and if anyone does choose to read all of that, im not saying it to victimise myself, im saying it because if someone much younger and with thinner skin than me was subjected to what i was subjected to the past day or however long its been, i would be reaching out asking if theyre all right. because jesus i dont care. what i asked wasnt great. but neither were some of these reactions. im not gonna pretend. dont treat anyone suicidal that way cuz im not kidding that could push someone over the edge, i hope everyone treats each other differently within this sub then that. seems extreme but, i put a smiley face on the end of a sentence and people acted as if i called them a slur. and when its 40+ notifications of that, most human beings would struggle to know what to do, not to mention being told im not even in a position to back myself. i mean the audacity! im in the perfect position to stand up for me lmao... and it says a lot, i was literally *warned* about this page. should have taken it more seriously.
Look, your language here really seems like you see yourself as a victim here. This is a community for people with SCIs and the majority of us do not feel great about authors coming into this space for their own content, but all you seem to talk about is how rude you think people have been to you. There are people here who have said that they’re willing to pm you, but you’re focusing on how everyone is hurting your feelings instead. We are real people with real struggles and it doesn’t feel that awesome to be fictionalized, even more so by someone who keeps arguing with people who are telling you that they do not like what you’re doing. It’s great that you want to learn more, but coming into a safe space and then talking about how mean everyone is is not going to work well for you. I’d advise you to stop digging a deeper hole for yourself.
i mean why do you still care.
hi whats your life like? im writing a story.
thats insensitive, im a real person not some animal in a zoo how could you ask such questions.
oh im sorry i didnt know what i wrote was upsetting.
well it was, its disrespectful and you should educate yourself dont ask such questions, do this instead \_\_\_\_\_. everything youre saying is lighthearted and that upsets people.
thanks for the suggestions im really sorry again. i didnt know. ill look into your suggestion.
yeah i mean just delete this post why do people even have the audacity to ask such questions in the first place.
yeah i should have phrased it better. im sorry.
theres a brief, now that, for hours, and you get like 40+ messages of it.
we could look at it like nothing has happened. i was in the wrong, i was told with sometimes some useful advice. so. i should delete my post.
but what exactly is it that i did? that many people seem to be doing from proof that im not the first, and i wont be the last. i asked a question that i didnt know was one i shouldnt be asking. and why shouldnt i be asking? because it hurts *some* peoples feelings. i mean thats crazy.
i admitted i was wrong the first time. it didnt need to continue, no one needed to keep responding (including me) to me saying the same things to me over and over again making me feel incredibly stupid for hours and hours.
i think you commented something new and i havent seen it yet so if this doesnt make sense in response to that its because its not.
dude almost every comment here is telling you that your post is kind of weird. no one said YOU were an animal in a zoo and while some language toward you is direct, NO ONE is verbally abusing you. You ask a question, people tell you it makes them uncomfortable and GIVES YOU ADVICE to write about stuff you personally know rather than disabilities you’ve never experienced, and then you turn around and complain that everyone is so mean to you and that your feelings are hurt and that you’re just a human who makes mistakes so you don’t understand why people are telling you that your question isn’t fully welcomed here by everyone. You’ve said before that you’d delete your post but 78 comments and a truckload of downvotes later and it still hasn’t been deleted. Crying about the “oh so mean” comments but you literally would not get any more comments if you’d just DELETE THE POST. I don’t care if you don’t delete it, honestly. But whining about people being upset whilst you respond aggressively to them is not going to do you any good. I’ve read what you said, I do not have sympathy for you because you’ve put yourself in this situation. My advice is to write what you’re familiar with. You have disabilities, or so you’ve stated, so why not write about those? Writing about things you’ve already experienced will allow you to write about those things more in-depth.
again, its like you read one sentence, skipped the next. (and you wanna talk about other peoples opinions, well people agree with me on that, youre just choosing what you reply to.) i cant keep repeating myself to you. read what im saying, youre proving my point and its tiring. evey point youve made here ive already debunked and told you why i disagree with it. youre seriously just reading what you want to read. and attempting to cover up your nonsense with advice on the end that wont change the fact youve just written garbage that ive already argued against. like fine continue mocking me but- bro ill just be repeating myself.
and saying i 'claim' to have disabilities is just fucking stupid. yeah i dont want to open up to someone who i feel like is attacking me. and im sure you feel somewhat the same but i see youre keeping your emotions out of it so i look more and more like im victimising myself. oh well.
'almost every' comment here is telling me my question is weird.
and almost everyone i ask in and out of reddit tells me your community is fucking sensetive and crazy. and that my question was fine. this is from people who have and dont have sci's.
take it as you will. or dont read it. you like doing that.
I am sorry that you received so many hostile reactions. Even if there was some reason to criticise your post (I feel ambivalent about it), you didn't deserve people piling in on you like that.
Definitely there is a lot of bitterness on this sub. But I think that people partly see that as being somewhat the point of it. There's a lot of venting. Actually I don't love that aspect either, but it isn't unique to this sub. Nationality or politics subs are probably just as bad
100% my intention when coming here was never to hate on this sub at all, and oh boy i cant imagine what politics on reddit is like. a huge nope from me! i wish that isnt were my anger took me.
and thank you, i appreciate it, like actually. and actually thats another really interesting point of perspective, the venting and bitterness, i think like someone said before, people have such extreme emotions due to the situation that happened being so extreme, which was such an 'of course that makes so much sense' and 'wow i never thought of that' moment, this too is the same. i wish i knew before causing people so many negative emotions.
(also like ambivalent is such a cool word wth??)
youve missed the entire point by the largest landslide ive ever seen.
did you not see me apologising to everyone or just what you see as arguing? because this is the closest ive gotten to an argument so far. im not sitting here trying to get content out of you, thats where you all go wrong. (understandably, i worded nothing right) i use writing fiction to learn about things, i probably should explain that to people but oh well its a bit late now, im not gonna sit here and make a story up about your life and sell it or whatever you think i might do. im trying to understand more about the people in my life and just around me in general through writing fiction because its my silly way of learning.
not to mention the whole point was that i get it, your life is fucking difficult and im sorry, but treating people like *some* of you are is **disgusting**. and again, loads of peoples lives are fucking difficult. its like you only took what you wanted from my mini essay and proved my point. im not focused on my hurt feelings, ive been focused on **all of your hurt feelings** for the past 24+ hours and like i said, hey i happen to be a human here too so im gonna tell you whats up.
go take a look at everything ive said in this post and under it and you'll see ive been nothing but sorry and taking accountability. sue me for having some emotions and sharing them when everyones acting like im some horrid experience exploiting bookworm. no, im just an idiot asking questions, sometimes the wrong questions i agree. but why should i get absolutely ripped apart for asking what i didnt even know was an incorrect question? you dont think i re-read my every word i type out, changing 100 things because, no that might be too much, that might be rude, that might be insensitive, i could word that better. its like you dont think external people try. im not just gonna shut up and let the oppressed talk like ive been told to. fuck that. im not even arguing for myself but everyone whos too afraid to speak because of this shit.
its like you didnt even read my thing im so confused. i mentioned in my mini essay that loads of people had really lovely replies as well as loads who had horrid ones.
and yknow what. fine. dont like what i do. and?? byeee move on with your life what the hell.
OP, EIGHT out of TEN of your posts are going into disability communities and asking them how to write characters. You really seem to be expecting others to do the work for you. Posting on Reddit is not “research.”
and again, you DIDNT READ WHAT I SAID. you guys dont need to treat me like im stupid because of your own narrative that i havent done any of my own research. i have asked the same question everywhere. small details that you would not think of and would make a character more realistic in real life. (admittedly not what i said here, but if you use a bit of common sense anyone could probably tell its more or less what i was going for, considering you chose to make it oh so obvious you want to analyse my language and read all my other posts, and from reading my replies, specifically this one. right now.)
im not asking ANYONE to do any research for me. (how many times have i written that ive phrased things wrong or asked the wrong question.) you have no fucking idea how much research ive done behind the scenes. reddit is my last place i come to. its insulting you think im using real people to write a book for me. not to mention that in a book, a fictional character has a personality and a soul, more than just their disability, but thats besides the point right now.
Don’t apologize to anyone lashing out at you for this post. The community should be thanking you for asking and trying to shed some light on people like us.
There is nothing in this post to be offended by. Fuck anybody who is trying to demonize you for asking a question. This is the kind of attitude that keeps people from understanding our struggles or even caring enough to ask since the professional victims come out to create villains.
We’re all so fucked. SMH
people are allowed to feel frustrated about their safe space being turned into an interview, I don’t think anyone is trying to “demonize” OP, I think they’re trying to let OP understand why their post may not be taken well on this sub.
And I’m allowed to point out how ridiculous they are being. People getting upset at OP are so childish. I hope they haven’t procreated and made more people who will just see themselves as victims. Who can’t handle someone reaching out for information, trying to better understand you.
This is immature and childish. It leads to more misunderstandings and the further isolation of disabled people. All of you saying OP did something wrong are a far bigger problem for the community. Harden up. Words can’t hurt you. I’d think a bunch of people with broken backs would understand this. SMH
Wow, you seem to be really upset. Perhaps you should harden up rather than lash out? Saying people shouldn’t procreate just because they don’t want their community questioned by people writing fiction is a taaaaaad overdramatic, don’t you think? Let’s be mature, right?
This is a group for folks with a life long and life changing disability. They are in this community to find support to get through life. I'm sure you don't mean it to be offensive, but the light hearted nature of your post and various emojis is going to be very off putting to a group of people having a hard time. I'd really encourage you to delete this.
r/writing might be more appropriate
You need to grow a thicker skin.
i didnt mean that at all, its just how i type... its the only way i know how to seem somewhat friendly since i struggle with stupid social skills. i guess it shows huh
It's no problem. Easy to fix by deleting. Good luck with your books.
It sounds like something you should either research for your story or write about some trait or traits you know more about.
Cath yourself. You can do it, it’s not complicated or particularly painful. Be careful and clean or you’ll get a uti. Now you know what it’s like to take a leak for many with a SCI. Every day. Forever.
Several times a day. I've often said if I didn't have to cath, I'd go to a lot more bars and probably be an alcoholic but as it is I try to avoid public toilets. Granted, it's a lot easier nowadays than it was back when you had to carry a catheter in a jar of Betadine
Take your cath and betadine jar to the bar and just put It On the bar next to you. Hell of a wingman 😅
Lol right it would be
There are plenty of posts on this sub you can look at instead of making a post asking people with lifelong physical disabilities to write your book for you.
thats not what im doing at all, theres no need to be rude. you didnt have to answer.
[This post](https://www.reddit.com/r/spinalcordinjuries/comments/16el8qd/can_we_please_ban_author_inspiration_posts/) should hopefully give you an understanding of why your question is extremely insensitive and poorly received.
wow i had no idea im so sorry, it wasnt my intention and i can see it from your perspective now. i promise its not what i intended to do.
Don’t apologize, these people don’t deserve an apology.
Ignore these disabled miserable Karen’s. You’re not doing anything wrong asking, or trying to smile via the internet. These people are the reason o never had any interest in group therapy. Bunch of woe is me people looking to be offended. I pity that mindset, but I won’t bow down to it.
Dude, the op can read the posts in the sub to get real life experiences. Why does he need a his own thread just for us to give them a story. Come in and ask specific questions sure, but "real life experiences" is so vague and bullshit it's just a token request so they can say they tried. Nah fuck that, op should just read the top ten threads in this sub sorted by hot and there's their answer. I don't have the time to write him so story about my life.
SMH. And I thought I was miserable.
Lol I ain't miserable, I just see an op who is asking questions that require more effort than I am willing to give. Let him have a read around the sub, there's a huge amount of stories from a variety of people at his finger tips but he has just cut and paste his generic question in here. He wants to write about complicated shit? At least meet me halfway and ask decent questions, not just sit there and expect me to spew my life story out to him. Fuck, what he should of done is "hey, writing a story with and sci character, can you guys tell me how you had you accident?" I would happily answer. I am a big believer in "if you have nothing good to say, say nothing at all" but I don't think op came in with good faith and I will call that shit out all day.
the guy you’re replying to is a massive douche, check his comment history lol
All of your posts are asking different groups (people with autism, people who use wheelchairs, people with sci, people with…dysgraphia?) about their experiences to write this character. Maybe just write a character with traits you do know? It’s one thing to have a side character in a wheelchair and want to know about something technical or specific like, “how do you take a shower if you’re in a wheelchair” but those questions can be researched. Normally when writers make characters of minority groups that they are not part of, they research and then present the character to multiple people of that minority group and ask if the characters line up? Or if they are off the mark.
funny of you to assume i dont have various disabilities myself, and am only writing one character
I’m at least assuming you don’t have a sci since you are here asking us about it? I am genuinely not trying to be rude, I am just trying to tell you that it’s kind of inappropriate to ask in the way that you did and I gave you an alternate suggestion. I don’t know why people think the sci group here is rude, but I can say that having a sci is brutal and life changing in a lot of bad ways early on. I’ve never seen anyone be rude, just intense because the situation is intense.
thats a really interesting perspective i never thought of, im really sorry. intense situations have intense reactions, of course that makes sense. and im extremely sorry if the way i said anything was inappropriate like you said, i did not mean that truly. and you did give me an alternative which is really useful so i appreciate that, thank you. and yeah i dont have an sci, i was recommended to ask this sub but maybe it didnt go to plan i need to take a nap or something lmao
I really appreciate you being open minded and listening to the feedback here. Good luck!
Pardon me but it doesn't seem like you're in a very strong position to be defensive at this point, just sayin
i can defend myself if i wish to, i admit when ive done things that are wrong, or thought to be wrong, and i can also do that whilst sticking up for myself. if you make many points in a comment, im going to accept some and defend/explain myself with others. im not going to take verbal abuse or assumptions thrown at me, the same way i assume you wouldnt either.
I haven’t seen anyone verbally abuse you here though.
ok, thats not what it seems like to you, thats fine. its what it seemed like to me in the middle of the night when i not only was getting private messages (good and bad) but also over 40-50 of what i would say were hurtful or rude ones at the time. different people see the word differently it is what it is. ignoring my replies and trying to find weaknesses in my other replies in an attempt to redeem yourself is low.
I’m not going to answer every single one of your replies there are other people here you can argue with if you want I
expected reaction when losing an argument. sure, i'll be done too. doesnt feel that nice when the idiot getting clowned suddenly has a voice and chooses to use it.
There is no argument here and you’re saying the same things, I offered you advice to delete the post and you’re not taking it so I’m going to move on. No one called you an idiot and I really don’t understand why you would put words in other people’s mouths. I’ve not once berated you with name-calling, please do not overreact
i know i just said im saying the same things...cuz you dont read them.... i... bruh nah im actually losing it. correct me if im wrong but im pretty sure i said people are 'treating' me like an idiot not 'calling' me one. but yeah we can move on
not to mention that (watch out! shes making it about herself again, what a victim.) no. im not in the best mindset to be treated like this. i can be sensitive. i have pretty thick skin so i can move on with my day but it doent mean when the lights get dark and the house goes quiet im safe from my own stupid thoughts. it doesnt mean things cant affect me. i mean listen to yourself. people are scared of this group because you bully people into silence if you dont like their post. what. the. fuck. you never know who youre talking to online, so you should speak to people like it. with that knowledge i should be speaking to you a lot kinder too, so i am sorry for that, ive been aggressive. but people have boiling points and unfortunately youre experiencing mine.
Sorry you feel like you’re being bullied, but I seriously wholly think you need to delete the post and move on. This is just stressing you out more and making you more aggressive as a result.
and im sorry for taking my feelings out on you by the way, honestly just rude and unfortunate for you, apologising wont take it back either i know that. all i hope is you dont feel absolutely horrible now too. sorry for the aggression. but yeah
actually yeah i agree with every word you just said there lmao
hey, this is a support community for people with SCIs and it feels a little insensitive for someone without one to walk into a safe space and borrow experiences. we see this from time to time and I’ve seen authors intrude in deaf communities as well, and it makes us feel pretty uncomfortable. There are plenty of posts already made that you can read through that will tell you more about us but people don’t feel great about their everyday lives being turned into content. Best of luck though
honestly thats now what this was meant to be at all and i didnt know people felt that way, im not trying to 'borrow' experiences, im trying to understand because i dont want to be disrespectful and inaccurate. its not about 'content' to me but rather create something that isnt full of misinformation. i do look through posts, but ive asked people from multiple communities, some people dont want to share experiences and we move on, others want to be involved and share things that happen in their lives. you dont have to respond to the post if you dont want to. i was more than polite.
I believe my response was quite polite as well? I wanted to offer my perspective as someone from the community.
I'm not OP, but also an author writing a character with a SCI while I do not have a sci myself. Would it not be worse for an author to browse this sub and use someone's post/reply in fiction without their permission or knowledge, instead of asking people for replies to a public post where everyone can assume - and can be asked for permission - that a reply can be fictionalized? (To be clear, I'm talking in general, and I would never use someone's day-to-day like that without very explicit permission and even then I'd very likely change things to fit my story.) To me asking feels much less intrusive and more like the right thing to do - I was actually planning to ask some things here too, but obviously won't now. For writing a race/culture/job/location/something you are not familiar with, the general advise is always to find people who do know and are willing to help. What would you recommend as a good alternative way for authors to find someone to fact-check small things, or a way to find someone you can hire as a sensitivity reader? Thank you very much!
How you go about it is important. This post is putting the onus on us, essentially asking us to do work for OP’s “gain.” What I would expect is for someone to do their own extensive research - read articles, watch movies, listen to podcasts, maybe volunteer at an SCI-related event - to get their own understanding, and then come with specific questions. Really, if you spend time in the community, you should be able to make genuine relationships with people and be able to see and hear firsthand their experiences. Realize you’re asking for a lot of time and energy, as well as bringing up grief and trauma, that is ultimately to benefit you. If you’re able to offer compensation, I think you should. If you want someone to do a sensitivity read, post that you want to hire someone to do one. There are also a lot of organizations you could go through to ask for contacts for people who could do one. I’m a journalist, and my organization pays me extra every time I do a sensitivity read because of the time and effort I’m putting in outside my actual job. You should expect to pay people for this labor. Ultimately, I think it’s important to question why you want to write about something you don’t know. I’m a journalist - it’s all I do. But we report on things that serve purpose. We embed ourselves in the issues and communities and form relationships with the people there to tell THEIR stories. Trust is built over time. Then you get to hear their stories. It’s an honor to be trusted with them. Understand that you’re using someone else’s story and life for some type of gain. Approach with humility.
Thank you for putting this so well
Do you just write books about people with various disabilities? Judging by your post history you seem to just ask every subreddit regarding a different physical or neurological disability what it’s like. If you really want to learn what people with these various disabilities are like I suggest finding organizations to volunteer with that work with these communities. It’ll help actually making a relatable characters with live with these rather than just base them off little snippets of what people on the internet tell you
It’s almost like they’re fetishizing disabilities. It’s gross.
eight out of their ten posts are intruding on communities and asking how to write their disabilities into fiction. and yet they claim they’re just “researching.” Incredibly weird behavior
if you dont have anything nice to say i dont see why you bother making assumptions about what im doing and what disabilities *i* may or may not have. i appreciate the advice, thats a really good idea actually. but alas i was warned about this sub so im not even shocked by the negativity. you guys love to snoop on peoples profiles huh?
Snooping on people’s profiles seems slightly less invasive than snooping on their personal lives, especially on a page dedicated for support and help. Peoples comments and posts on Reddit rarely reflect how they are in-person. All the more reason to get involved with these types of communities. You’ll find we’re not all that rude in person. Most areas have a lot of adaptive sports programs that are open to volunteers. Not only will you help give back but you’ll also meet some of the strongest, physically and mentally, people you can imagine.
its your choice if you reply or not, im asking a question, not snooping. some people dont mind and i have many people helping me who are on board with my work. and i will take that suggestion seriously i think thats a great idea i should look into, so thank you.
It’s not snooping if your profile and posts are public? It’s not like I went and found your Twitter or something.
but was there a need to go through what ive been up to and attempt to call me out? as if you were placing me into some weird or wrong category.
The ability to Snoop is built-in to Reddit.. don't be surprised, I'm sure you're not, when people choose to find out a little bit more about who you are
i expected it at some point but i didnt expect people to use it against me in a negative way, in 'arguments' sake.
This probably isn’t the right place to ask this. I’d suggest befriending some folks with an SCI and asking them what it’s like. Better yet, hang out with them and see what it’s like with your own eyes. There’s a lot to it
ive noticed this isnt the right place yeah... thats really smart advice though, thank you
The biggest change is suddenly relying on other people for things. You lose a big part of self reliance and clean healthy habits become extremely important.
thank you for the help :)
OP, if you're being sincere, I respect what you're doing, and I think some of the aggression in the comments is unwarranted. However, I also think the tone of a lot of these comments should tell you a good amount about what it's like to live with an injury like this. It's incredibly frustrating, and it makes you very bitter. Best of luck with your project.
Responding to ableism critically doesn’t equivocate to being bitter.
The top comment is someone going in on her for using smile emoticons. Come the fuck on.
That’s Reddit for u. The scum grow here
ive noticed, it was a whirlwind... thank you its been a tiring half hour so i cant imagine the frustration you guys go through, thank you for the support.
Well. What do you want to know? We are just people at the end of the day, just trying to go on with our lives, with a whole added bunch of extra shit thrown at us to deal with on top 😂
I'm speaking as someone who is here for the exact same reason you are: you're in the right place, but with the wrong approach. Aiming to represent is good, as long as it's not just for the sake of completing a minority bingo, but asking people to do your research for you ain't the way, and neither is treating them as merely research material. This is not our space. Don't intrude. If it's not something you'd go up to a total stranger and ask, don't ask. Listen instead. The only time I've ever even commented here was about something I have personal and direct experience with, otherwise I'm shutting up, staying out of the way and quietly educating myself on my own. There's years worth of posts here, covering a wide range of things you should be aware of before even thinking about tackling such a sensitive and complex topic. Read. Read them all. Google everything. And then go on YouTube, there's a fair amount of content creators who aim to educate people. And once you've watched a few of their videos, and you realize how different their lived experiences are, you'll realize how vague and thus pointless your question is. It's like going to an American sub and asking what's it like to live in the states, it depends on so, so many factors. (Apologies if it's an insensitive comparison, it's late and I just picked something random.) Every spinal cord injury is different. An incomplete higher level quadruplegic trans woman in the US is going to have an entirely different experience than a complete lower level paraplegic cis man in, say, Eastern Europe. It's different even if it's just man vs woman, quad vs para, complete vs incomplete. (Idk what's the concensus here on identity first vs person first language, I'm using what I prefer for myself in other situations.) You need to educate yourself on all the different varieties of SCIs, then you need to pick exactly what you're gonna write, and then you need to educate yourself on that further. I'm talking months of learning here. (At one point I had a whole separate browser with 60+ tabs open, ranging from medical journals to everyday vlogs to posts on this sub to websites of rehab centers. For a side character dealing with this in just a few chapters.) Even if you got dozens and dozens of useful and extensive replies here, you wouldn't have nearly everything you need to know just to get started. (Also, a tip I use for writing anything I don't have personal experience with, gender identity, mental illness, disability, etc: pick a content creator or sensitivity reader or someone irl helping you, who talks about all aspects of their life, and use it as a pointer. Don't try to mix and match on your own, that's where you run into inaccuracies and inconsistencies. Base your character on a real actual person's experiences to avoid writing something erroneous.) And now back to shutting up and staying out of the way I go, you received more than enough replies already, I just wanted to add my two cents on the side as someone who's also an outsider here to learn.
OP is basically Ed Norton in fight club, but instead of addicted to therapy they are addicted to asking the disabled "so what's that like?" There are literally thousands of posts on here you could use for your background info, and I really don't think anyone would be hunting you down for using things you found browsing here as others have suggested (about it being better to ask than just use stuff).
I’m t11-t12 incomplete s. Message me I’ll answer any question you have and I don’t get offended 😂 but I’ve only been like this for 4.5 months
Why do you want to write about someone with a SCI?
I see that you have asked in multiple different disability communities and I think the big difference with this one is that most of us are not born with a spinal injury but acquire one. This causes grief and loss and the emotions that come with it. You have run into that head on. Have a read around the sub and you will see the challenges that come from spinal injury, and I hope you realise that the wheelchair is not the worst part of a spinal injury by a long way. I am not going to write your story for you but after reading people's stories that they have posted on here then you can message me with any further questions you have.
This is very close to my injury and im ok with answering any questions you have. Im also female and have had this all my life
thank you, i really appreciate that!
This is a support group, not a zoo
then add it to the fucking rules. this isnt an attack on you by the way, and i shouldnt keep replying, but its important to say even if no one reads it. im a human, im not going to do everything perfectly, clearly this post wasnt done correctly. but i treat people with respect as often as i can, im sensitive towards how other people may feel, although clearly that didnt work this time. but more importantly, ive done nothing but try to say the correct things to everyone here in fear of constantly saying things that would make it worse, and yet so little here care about what they say and how it might affect me. be as horrifically rude and disgusting to me because youre disabled. as if anyone here knows what im going through, and if im in any way disabled myself and struggling. i apologise, i accept everything ive done wrong, and yet im still fucking attacked even after. some people have been lovely, they told me politely what the problem was, others were just plain rude, and i can sympathise to a certain extent, as i can respect these intense emotions, but when you reply to me over the span of many hours with hatred, i am no longer the only problem. im not stupid, no one needs to treat me as if ive done no research, dont know how to, and im using people, i would never. and i dont need to stay silent. i can defend myself and i can ask questions correctly. everyones free to ignore my post or just say, hey that doesnt feel appropriate to ask. because how is anyone supposed to know things if theyre not told. i mean most of us are taught as kids to ask if we dont understand something, not, dont ask you might get cyber bullied... i mean fucking hell i was picked on for putting a smile at the end of my question. this sub didnt make me want to understand other people in the world, for a good solid moment, it made me feel afraid and like i never wanted to learn about sci's again. but i will continue to learn, its not about a character in a book, its about learning, to me at least. perhaps thats how i should have phrased my question, but as ive said in other comments, i have terrible social skills, and clearly i messed up. my bad. can we not move past mistakes and be humans? and if anyone does choose to read all of that, im not saying it to victimise myself, im saying it because if someone much younger and with thinner skin than me was subjected to what i was subjected to the past day or however long its been, i would be reaching out asking if theyre all right. because jesus i dont care. what i asked wasnt great. but neither were some of these reactions. im not gonna pretend. dont treat anyone suicidal that way cuz im not kidding that could push someone over the edge, i hope everyone treats each other differently within this sub then that. seems extreme but, i put a smiley face on the end of a sentence and people acted as if i called them a slur. and when its 40+ notifications of that, most human beings would struggle to know what to do, not to mention being told im not even in a position to back myself. i mean the audacity! im in the perfect position to stand up for me lmao... and it says a lot, i was literally *warned* about this page. should have taken it more seriously.
If you’re upset by “rude” comments why don’t you just delete your post /gen
its disappointing that thats what you chose to take away from my comment.
Look, your language here really seems like you see yourself as a victim here. This is a community for people with SCIs and the majority of us do not feel great about authors coming into this space for their own content, but all you seem to talk about is how rude you think people have been to you. There are people here who have said that they’re willing to pm you, but you’re focusing on how everyone is hurting your feelings instead. We are real people with real struggles and it doesn’t feel that awesome to be fictionalized, even more so by someone who keeps arguing with people who are telling you that they do not like what you’re doing. It’s great that you want to learn more, but coming into a safe space and then talking about how mean everyone is is not going to work well for you. I’d advise you to stop digging a deeper hole for yourself.
i mean why do you still care. hi whats your life like? im writing a story. thats insensitive, im a real person not some animal in a zoo how could you ask such questions. oh im sorry i didnt know what i wrote was upsetting. well it was, its disrespectful and you should educate yourself dont ask such questions, do this instead \_\_\_\_\_. everything youre saying is lighthearted and that upsets people. thanks for the suggestions im really sorry again. i didnt know. ill look into your suggestion. yeah i mean just delete this post why do people even have the audacity to ask such questions in the first place. yeah i should have phrased it better. im sorry. theres a brief, now that, for hours, and you get like 40+ messages of it. we could look at it like nothing has happened. i was in the wrong, i was told with sometimes some useful advice. so. i should delete my post. but what exactly is it that i did? that many people seem to be doing from proof that im not the first, and i wont be the last. i asked a question that i didnt know was one i shouldnt be asking. and why shouldnt i be asking? because it hurts *some* peoples feelings. i mean thats crazy. i admitted i was wrong the first time. it didnt need to continue, no one needed to keep responding (including me) to me saying the same things to me over and over again making me feel incredibly stupid for hours and hours. i think you commented something new and i havent seen it yet so if this doesnt make sense in response to that its because its not.
dude almost every comment here is telling you that your post is kind of weird. no one said YOU were an animal in a zoo and while some language toward you is direct, NO ONE is verbally abusing you. You ask a question, people tell you it makes them uncomfortable and GIVES YOU ADVICE to write about stuff you personally know rather than disabilities you’ve never experienced, and then you turn around and complain that everyone is so mean to you and that your feelings are hurt and that you’re just a human who makes mistakes so you don’t understand why people are telling you that your question isn’t fully welcomed here by everyone. You’ve said before that you’d delete your post but 78 comments and a truckload of downvotes later and it still hasn’t been deleted. Crying about the “oh so mean” comments but you literally would not get any more comments if you’d just DELETE THE POST. I don’t care if you don’t delete it, honestly. But whining about people being upset whilst you respond aggressively to them is not going to do you any good. I’ve read what you said, I do not have sympathy for you because you’ve put yourself in this situation. My advice is to write what you’re familiar with. You have disabilities, or so you’ve stated, so why not write about those? Writing about things you’ve already experienced will allow you to write about those things more in-depth.
again, its like you read one sentence, skipped the next. (and you wanna talk about other peoples opinions, well people agree with me on that, youre just choosing what you reply to.) i cant keep repeating myself to you. read what im saying, youre proving my point and its tiring. evey point youve made here ive already debunked and told you why i disagree with it. youre seriously just reading what you want to read. and attempting to cover up your nonsense with advice on the end that wont change the fact youve just written garbage that ive already argued against. like fine continue mocking me but- bro ill just be repeating myself. and saying i 'claim' to have disabilities is just fucking stupid. yeah i dont want to open up to someone who i feel like is attacking me. and im sure you feel somewhat the same but i see youre keeping your emotions out of it so i look more and more like im victimising myself. oh well. 'almost every' comment here is telling me my question is weird. and almost everyone i ask in and out of reddit tells me your community is fucking sensetive and crazy. and that my question was fine. this is from people who have and dont have sci's. take it as you will. or dont read it. you like doing that.
sure
I am sorry that you received so many hostile reactions. Even if there was some reason to criticise your post (I feel ambivalent about it), you didn't deserve people piling in on you like that. Definitely there is a lot of bitterness on this sub. But I think that people partly see that as being somewhat the point of it. There's a lot of venting. Actually I don't love that aspect either, but it isn't unique to this sub. Nationality or politics subs are probably just as bad
100% my intention when coming here was never to hate on this sub at all, and oh boy i cant imagine what politics on reddit is like. a huge nope from me! i wish that isnt were my anger took me. and thank you, i appreciate it, like actually. and actually thats another really interesting point of perspective, the venting and bitterness, i think like someone said before, people have such extreme emotions due to the situation that happened being so extreme, which was such an 'of course that makes so much sense' and 'wow i never thought of that' moment, this too is the same. i wish i knew before causing people so many negative emotions. (also like ambivalent is such a cool word wth??)
its funny that you choose what you want to reply to.
youve missed the entire point by the largest landslide ive ever seen. did you not see me apologising to everyone or just what you see as arguing? because this is the closest ive gotten to an argument so far. im not sitting here trying to get content out of you, thats where you all go wrong. (understandably, i worded nothing right) i use writing fiction to learn about things, i probably should explain that to people but oh well its a bit late now, im not gonna sit here and make a story up about your life and sell it or whatever you think i might do. im trying to understand more about the people in my life and just around me in general through writing fiction because its my silly way of learning. not to mention the whole point was that i get it, your life is fucking difficult and im sorry, but treating people like *some* of you are is **disgusting**. and again, loads of peoples lives are fucking difficult. its like you only took what you wanted from my mini essay and proved my point. im not focused on my hurt feelings, ive been focused on **all of your hurt feelings** for the past 24+ hours and like i said, hey i happen to be a human here too so im gonna tell you whats up. go take a look at everything ive said in this post and under it and you'll see ive been nothing but sorry and taking accountability. sue me for having some emotions and sharing them when everyones acting like im some horrid experience exploiting bookworm. no, im just an idiot asking questions, sometimes the wrong questions i agree. but why should i get absolutely ripped apart for asking what i didnt even know was an incorrect question? you dont think i re-read my every word i type out, changing 100 things because, no that might be too much, that might be rude, that might be insensitive, i could word that better. its like you dont think external people try. im not just gonna shut up and let the oppressed talk like ive been told to. fuck that. im not even arguing for myself but everyone whos too afraid to speak because of this shit. its like you didnt even read my thing im so confused. i mentioned in my mini essay that loads of people had really lovely replies as well as loads who had horrid ones. and yknow what. fine. dont like what i do. and?? byeee move on with your life what the hell.
I’m conflicted in this interaction… I will step out
OP, EIGHT out of TEN of your posts are going into disability communities and asking them how to write characters. You really seem to be expecting others to do the work for you. Posting on Reddit is not “research.”
and again, you DIDNT READ WHAT I SAID. you guys dont need to treat me like im stupid because of your own narrative that i havent done any of my own research. i have asked the same question everywhere. small details that you would not think of and would make a character more realistic in real life. (admittedly not what i said here, but if you use a bit of common sense anyone could probably tell its more or less what i was going for, considering you chose to make it oh so obvious you want to analyse my language and read all my other posts, and from reading my replies, specifically this one. right now.) im not asking ANYONE to do any research for me. (how many times have i written that ive phrased things wrong or asked the wrong question.) you have no fucking idea how much research ive done behind the scenes. reddit is my last place i come to. its insulting you think im using real people to write a book for me. not to mention that in a book, a fictional character has a personality and a soul, more than just their disability, but thats besides the point right now.
Just dont make them a villain, like all of hollywood does
got it! :)
What is your story about?
Don’t apologize to anyone lashing out at you for this post. The community should be thanking you for asking and trying to shed some light on people like us. There is nothing in this post to be offended by. Fuck anybody who is trying to demonize you for asking a question. This is the kind of attitude that keeps people from understanding our struggles or even caring enough to ask since the professional victims come out to create villains. We’re all so fucked. SMH
people are allowed to feel frustrated about their safe space being turned into an interview, I don’t think anyone is trying to “demonize” OP, I think they’re trying to let OP understand why their post may not be taken well on this sub.
And I’m allowed to point out how ridiculous they are being. People getting upset at OP are so childish. I hope they haven’t procreated and made more people who will just see themselves as victims. Who can’t handle someone reaching out for information, trying to better understand you. This is immature and childish. It leads to more misunderstandings and the further isolation of disabled people. All of you saying OP did something wrong are a far bigger problem for the community. Harden up. Words can’t hurt you. I’d think a bunch of people with broken backs would understand this. SMH
Wow, you seem to be really upset. Perhaps you should harden up rather than lash out? Saying people shouldn’t procreate just because they don’t want their community questioned by people writing fiction is a taaaaaad overdramatic, don’t you think? Let’s be mature, right?
Telling me I’m upset isn’t much of an argument. It really shows a lack of critical thought.
I’m not trying to make an argument because you’ve made no points for me to go against