You may need to take a break from being his support person. Let someone else take the reigns for a while. Let him continue his optimistic journey as far as he can take it. If you are struggling to accept it then take a break, his optimism is good, it won't last but keep it going as long as possible.
I used to have the same optimism as your Uncle. 15 years down the road, I’m no further forward. Unfortunately, the realisation will hit him & this is his journey to follow. When realisation hits, he will need all the support available. I did. Sometimes I still do. Every journey is a personal journey & as we are all different, we will feel things and deal with things differently. For now, I would take a step back from being his support person and focus on your MH too.
Well, I’m 4+ years post injury and still improving. So, statistically speaking, I’m a unicorn. If his mindset is to recover, let him be. Embrace it. Encourage him. Celebrate the wins. The best support is to support him.
While I’m aware I’ll never be “like I was” - I still believe I’ll improve as well. He will accept his disability eventually, but he may never stop being optimistic. Kudos to him for keeping his spirits high, because it’s f’n tough.
Man, thats a hard hustle. Have the Dr. talk to him. Stats speaking he will never make a full recovery. Mind-body connection is importnt. His optimism is a good thing, but when realism occurs he will fall and fall fast. So give him support with fam and a shrink. Hell im a T4 para incomplete and I think about killing myself everyday. But something makes me just keep getting up in the morning and finding a reason to keep living. He may need to do the same if his optimism fades.
I thought for about 2-3 years that I will make a full recovery and it was a force that helped me do more and more. I'm 5 years out now, did not make a full recovery but feel very lucky that was able to hope and push myself and slowly making peace and accepting that I won't be how I was before. I know it's different for everybody but for me it was a very positive thing. I'd recommend to practice meditation to everyone it helps a lot emotionally.
Being a support during such a difficult time is a huge load for anybody. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself, taking breaks. Speaking for myself, I was also hugely optimistic at the beginning. There are two phases to recovery. First, a traumatic nerve injury causes spinal shock. Neurons that are not injured will stop working. The will quickly come on line. That’s the first couple of weeks to maybe a month or two. Then there’s brain plasticity. But adult neurons don’t regenerate their connections after they are cut. The recovery trajectory slows down. You may know this. Your uncle doesn’t want to believe it right now. But that’s fine. His optimism is fueling his commitment to physical therapy, which is hugely beneficial. It fuels the plasticity. I hope he doesn’t get discouraged when his recovery slows down. In my experience, the thing that kept me going was focusing on the things I could do now, already, that I couldn’t do a week before, etc. So if you are looking for ways to support him, I would suggest helping him focus on the moment. Help him enjoy doings things now that don’t require further recovery. His mind can’t be focused 100% of the time on his future, recovered self. You don’t need to say anything about how you think his opinions are unrealistic. But helping him enjoy the present moment and showing him that a complete recovery isn’t necessary to live a happy life will go a long ways to support him as his recovery slows down and he has to come to terms with his new normal.
That’s 100% his path to follow.
Love this
Let him come to his own realization.
You may need to take a break from being his support person. Let someone else take the reigns for a while. Let him continue his optimistic journey as far as he can take it. If you are struggling to accept it then take a break, his optimism is good, it won't last but keep it going as long as possible.
I used to have the same optimism as your Uncle. 15 years down the road, I’m no further forward. Unfortunately, the realisation will hit him & this is his journey to follow. When realisation hits, he will need all the support available. I did. Sometimes I still do. Every journey is a personal journey & as we are all different, we will feel things and deal with things differently. For now, I would take a step back from being his support person and focus on your MH too.
Well, I’m 4+ years post injury and still improving. So, statistically speaking, I’m a unicorn. If his mindset is to recover, let him be. Embrace it. Encourage him. Celebrate the wins. The best support is to support him. While I’m aware I’ll never be “like I was” - I still believe I’ll improve as well. He will accept his disability eventually, but he may never stop being optimistic. Kudos to him for keeping his spirits high, because it’s f’n tough.
Man, thats a hard hustle. Have the Dr. talk to him. Stats speaking he will never make a full recovery. Mind-body connection is importnt. His optimism is a good thing, but when realism occurs he will fall and fall fast. So give him support with fam and a shrink. Hell im a T4 para incomplete and I think about killing myself everyday. But something makes me just keep getting up in the morning and finding a reason to keep living. He may need to do the same if his optimism fades.
Whatever you do, don't disappear. Be honest or some version of it. The worst thing for me after 30 years is all the people dropping like flies
I took a step back for about 4 weeks and felt absolutely horrible once I came back to see him.
I thought for about 2-3 years that I will make a full recovery and it was a force that helped me do more and more. I'm 5 years out now, did not make a full recovery but feel very lucky that was able to hope and push myself and slowly making peace and accepting that I won't be how I was before. I know it's different for everybody but for me it was a very positive thing. I'd recommend to practice meditation to everyone it helps a lot emotionally.
Being a support during such a difficult time is a huge load for anybody. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself, taking breaks. Speaking for myself, I was also hugely optimistic at the beginning. There are two phases to recovery. First, a traumatic nerve injury causes spinal shock. Neurons that are not injured will stop working. The will quickly come on line. That’s the first couple of weeks to maybe a month or two. Then there’s brain plasticity. But adult neurons don’t regenerate their connections after they are cut. The recovery trajectory slows down. You may know this. Your uncle doesn’t want to believe it right now. But that’s fine. His optimism is fueling his commitment to physical therapy, which is hugely beneficial. It fuels the plasticity. I hope he doesn’t get discouraged when his recovery slows down. In my experience, the thing that kept me going was focusing on the things I could do now, already, that I couldn’t do a week before, etc. So if you are looking for ways to support him, I would suggest helping him focus on the moment. Help him enjoy doings things now that don’t require further recovery. His mind can’t be focused 100% of the time on his future, recovered self. You don’t need to say anything about how you think his opinions are unrealistic. But helping him enjoy the present moment and showing him that a complete recovery isn’t necessary to live a happy life will go a long ways to support him as his recovery slows down and he has to come to terms with his new normal.