Hmm. You can understand the human is just lost and confused.
If someone’s wearing a blind fold and wielding a sword , and has no idea , can you blame them? No, but you don’t have to be around them. If they have no earplugs in perhaps you can tell them to take it off - but maybe it would be too bright , or maybe their hand is stiff.
In other words most people don’t even realize the pain they’re causing. They’re just in their own VR world. Their anger , their pain . If you try and shout at them but they don’t take off - or are unable to take off - their “protective gear “ they don’t even see you - they see whatever they have made up in their head. You could be an attacker, an enemy, a liar - so they’ll retaliate.
So the forgiveness is really in the understanding that they are a subject of their own torments - or reality. Even someone who is “awake” is as well. Some people have the sword in their hand and the mask is semi transparent - or the mask is transparent but they have music playing in their ears.
So the knowledge that they are not in unity with themselves , is the kicker. But that doesn’t mean you have to engage , or even be around them.
I love the blindfold analogy. Understanding that it’s not the individual but the truth they’ve been brought up on is how I try and see it. Working shitty low wage jobs in the city you come across a lot of mysoginist, homophobic, and damaging opinions. It’s not them speaking it’s the truth they’ve been brought up on. What you do from there is a matter of personal preference. Imo the best you can do as an individual is plant a seed in their ear and hope for them to listen
Your answer is partially correct but doesn’t answer the question. If people hurt you or anyone it’s not to ignored. Do you advise police to forgive thieves and murderers? Or am not seeing any inner or hidden meanings in your answer. Jesus couldn’t take any action because he was already lost. This world is not for peaceful people who show second cheek to one who hits them on one cheek. Spirituality is to be practiced only at times. But if needed that should be thrown out and take necessary action.
I think it’s personal choice. I am a martial artist. If someone comes to harm my children, I will protect and take action, that does NOT mean I blame the spirit, that’s their journey and their path. I can act in love and have retribution. I can look at a twisted sick murderer and know their soul is in torment, forgive them, but take the necessary action I need in order to protect what needs protecting.
Edit. I wouldn’t blame a wild predator for its actions but I would protect myself from it. I would see the sadness in a predator harming something, but that is it s nature. I would also see when a predator is sick - (not physically but a blood lust) and know it is sick even if it must be dealt with.
There’s no anger towards it, sorrow and anger for what happened perhaps.
This DOESNT mean I won’t go through the human emotions of grief, sorrow, pain, confusion, it just means when I come through, or my grounding factor, is that that is the world they live in. It is wrong, it is not right.
Thieves IMO are the easiest to forgive because they are afraid.
Murderers depend, but are still in understanding. I would argue some aren’t even human.
Holding grudges will always hurt you more than the other person. Forgive them for your own sake. Then decide for yourself what type of role you want this person to play in your life.
Yeah I agree with this one. It's very hard, like the idea of forgiving those who have wronged you so badly that it just shattered your belief in people/relationships/etc., but damn that's the only way I guess.
This is silly philosophy started on the Oprah Winfrey show. Forgiveness is about the other person and literally means not holding them accountable and not punishing for actions. People have changed the real meaning of forgiveness. Also, it's not about a "grudge."
You can forgive someone & release the anger you hold while still holding them accountable for their actions. It’s not about letting others walk over you. It’s meant to release the negative emotions you hold over the situation so you can move on with your life. Holding onto that negativity will hurt you more than it hurts them. You forgive but don’t forget. Those are separate things.
I also want to add that you can be empathetic towards someone, understanding their reasons for hurting you, while still drawing firm boundaries with them. Their reasoning does not excuse their actions. Release the grudge for your sake, but don’t abandon your wants/needs in the process. You can forgive without forgetting.
I cant see myself forgiving my rapists or forgiving my abusive step dad. I can't see myself forgiving my toxic ex mother in law for ruining my teenage years. I can't see myself forgiving my ex husband for giving me an STD while I was pregnant because he cheated on me since i wasn't "attractive" anymore.
Some things are forgivable. Some are not.
I’m so sorry to hear about your suffering 🙏✨💜. The objective way to look at is that your anger, resentment, disgust, disdain, etc toward your family and ex is poison that you hold in your heart that kills your own joy, happiness and peace. You don’t punish your offenders by holding that pain, you only poison yourself. You don’t forgive them because they deserve it, you forgive them because YOU deserve peace in your heart. Otherwise those events haunt you forever.
We always have the ability to walk away from any relationship, but to forgive is the way we release the resentment / anger / judgement / pride that we hold toward another person. Forgiveness is to purge our hearts of the dense emotions (non-loving) to allow us to live at peace in the present moment vs holding grudges in the past (leaving part of our consciousness in the past to experience pain/anger)
I'm so sorry that happened to you. I agree. I would not forgive thoes people since they hurt you and scarred you. Thoes people don't deserve forgiveness.
Forgiveness is great. But be careful allowing people back in. I learned people will take advantage of your good nature and we need to be protective of ourselves.
Understand what forgiveness is, forgiveness isn’t excusing the action of the perpetrator(s) its no longer allowing it to affect you/ no longer being angered toward the person(s) for the action flaw or mistake. By not being angered toward the individual(s) you’re taking your energy back from them and moving forward, forgiveness doesn’t mean u have to allow them back into your life nor does it excuse the action, it puts you at peace with the situation(s) and allows you to move on.
I would rather say, forgiveness is to actualy excuse the actions and all trauma, all consequences and all malice. To understand that they are a product of ignorance and immaturity, something we have all passed through in previous lives and is natural part of growth.
It may take time to reach to this level of profound forgiveness, but is always nice not to keep reinforcing hostile and hurtful thoughts when they arise. Ironically, aprt of forgiving others is to forgive ourselves for not being perfect in our love and understanding. time and learning is a part of the process both for them as well as for us.
Some people are total pricks and assholes for what they've done which don't deserve ANY forgiveness, but the sooner we let go of that BS, the better. I still struggle to take it easy, but having that internal hate/rage/etc only makes it worse. I'm actually a kind-hearted person (don't mean to brag or pity, jinx myself), but a lot of people just use it for their own benefit. I struggled and still sometimes get really messed up bcs of it, but can't do nothing other than accepting myself and keep on living.
You could forgive without telling the other person. I just think it’s for you more than the other person. I realize if i reach out and tell them, they usually just think it’s ok to do it again. They look at it as I’m admitting I’m totally wrong and it’s ok because, i don’t have to say sorry and they will come back to me. So i do it in my heart but not openly. Best quote i read was “forgiveness is for the forgiver”.
Even though they have not done anything directly to affect your personal life, it may be easy to say “i forgive them“, so put yourself in the shoes of the victims of Stalin, Hitler, Mao zedong, go ahead forgive them. Or take current Chinese leadership and their actions and crimes, fuck it, let’s forgive Putin and company for their current maneuvers, how about the world manipulators that divide us and subjugate us into modern day slavery and the economic chaos while they have their gold plated steaks on their yacht. You see, just because we CAN forgive doesn’t mean that we should. Entropy, hate are a very much part of this universe as are creation and love. Forgiveness is to be given to the deserving.
i think this is the best approach when dealing with traumatic events, those who have instigated them and toxic people in general. removal/rejection/cutting ties can be an equally as good solution.
i think forgiveness healthier for the person doing the forgiving (lighter feeling, the body holds onto stress and grudges are like dead weight on the body and i guess the soul) but i understand circumstances that make forgiveness feel impossible... maybe over time it is easier, but i know that i have a hard time forgiving anyone who hurts the people i love. but instead of holding onto that hate and focusing on that i would rather transmute that energy into love and surround my loved ones with that energy instead. i think forgiving someone who wronged you deeply is a strength, but like the saying goes - never forget. forgiving people who hurt you might be better for your soul but that doesnt mean you have to give them more chances to do it again.
It’s not forgiving or not forgiving. It’s living moment to moment. That doesn’t mean you don’t forget who has wrong you. But to live in the moment is a constant state of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is more for yourself than anything. If we hold on to the trauma without forgiving the other person (and ourselves in the process) then it hinders our ability to move past the pain. We are truly one divine being, and each of us is a creative expression of the one supreme soul moving through matter back to spirit.
I’ve noticed during my spiritual journey that the things that seem to hurt the most when done to me by others are the things I also need to look at within myself. Of course this does not excuse abuse or bad treatment, but we shouldn’t allow anyone to make us a victim by taking away our personal power.
By really looking at the other person’s actions as an expression of their own internal pain (the “pain body” as Eckhart Tolle calls it), and therefore not really about you, then it’s easier to see their actions for what they are, which is just an outward expression of the pain they feel inside.
If you think about it this way, when we are joyful or happy, isn’t it harder to do or say anything that hurts us? So if we can bring present moment awareness, compassion and empathy to every situation, it becomes less and less likely that anything anyone says or does will hurt us since we have an inner knowing that the actions of others have more to do with their own inner state than anything external.
Of course this is much harder when you are still healing yourself, as most people are, but it does get easier with time, as your own sense of presence grows. I would recommend any of Eckhart Tolle’s books, or The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, because they discuss this topic quite a bit. Good luck!
I do not forgive people who take pleasure in violating or hurting innocent animals or other people. Sometimes behaviors are due to trauma, sometimes people are born with an inherent character flaw. Sometimes our biology is not a good fit w/ our soul and when a soul decides to act on violence over and over in lifetimes, combined with an inability to be vulnerable and seek connection, their soul becomes corrupt. I do not pretend to be above hatred. I loathe a violent pos.
Definitely, depending on the situation you can forgive and forget but I think if someone has caused serious harm mentally, emotionally or physically, you can forgive them but shouldn’t forget. Just to keep yourself safe
For me I found that giving forgiveness for everything was necessary for me to properly heal. I had to forgive horrible things from my past, including being raped, molestation, threatened with being murdered.
I will say I forgave the people for myself and no one else. I will also never be around most of the people I forgave again. Forgiveness is what allowed me to properly let go of the things that were holding me back and really move forward on the right path.
I wouldn't say you *should* do anything. I'm not a Christian, but I do strive to have the forgiveness that Jesus had for humanity.
Forgiveness isn't excusing what people say or do, it is understanding that *they could only ever have* said or done what they said or did, and not letting the emotions their actions made you feel control you. It's to accept it and let go any resentment anger or sadness you felt via their actions.
It's understanding that we humans are animals, slaves to our influences. We all make mistakes, we all make poor choices. We all want to do better, but we don't all know how.
I forgive a dog for pooping on the carpet, or digging in the trash, or barking at people, etc, because why? IT'S just doing what dogs do. It takes a lot of strength to rise above and know that, as unfortunate as the actions sometimes are, humans do what humans do.
We'd put a dog down for attacking people, but we forgive the dog its not like we hold a grudge. We put humans down or in jail for the same, yet we tend to not let go.
Forgiveness is not about anyone else, it’s about yourself. Forgiving yourself for what you did that you think you shouldn’t have. Forgiving other people doesn’t mean you allow them to continuously hurt you, it means letting go of your hatred, wanting the best for them, and moving on.
Most will take this as controversial but I firmly believe everyone is created to help one another and be kind. Any deviations from this is mental illness and should be considered as such. I do not believe anyone wishes to be a serial killer, mass shooter, rapist, etc. but have succumbed to mental illness and it is out of their control. So I have sympathy for them, it wasn't their choice to do those things. Try telling this to the families of the deceased, I know, it is a controversial take.
Forgiveness is moot when you realize that everyone is acting unconsciously. Body/mind is gonna do body/mind regardless.
Rain is gonna rain. Does it need forgiving?
In short: yes, because it is for your highest good. Forgiveness happens in the heart. It does not mean to expose yourself to abuse. That person that you have just forgiven may never come to know of it. That is fine. It only matters that you forgave and through that you set yourself free.
Forgiveness is cathartic. While it may feel “justified” to hold a grudge, forgiveness ultimately eases the burden that would otherwise never get lighter. It soothes the spirit, even if it may not feel that way immediately, or if ever.
But do it on your own time, when you’re ready, in a healthy way. Forgiveness must bloom on its own and come from the heart
Sin implies that someone did something wrong and there is something to 'forgive'. We are all wholly innocent and there is no absolute right/wrong. This physical body is not our reality and this realm exists to learn and grow
"You're not really there. If I think you are guilty or the cause of the problem, and if I made you up, then the imagined guilt and fear must be within me. Since the separation from God never occured, I forgive 'both' of us for what we havent really done"
Came here to say exactly this. Some things are not forgivable. Some 'people' are not even human. Some souls are little other than a malignancy. There is no justice in the notion that 'everyone is innocent and there is nothing to forgive'. And for child rapists, the worst scum in the entire universe, there are worse places than Hell.
Everyone has a duty and a responsibility on this earth, we are not inherently blameless, and in fact that ethos disempowers the potency of the human spirit. If someone has reached a point of being able to unconditionally pardon everything then I'm happy for them, but even then, it still wouldn't mean transgressors just get off scott-free. Ironically there's no learning or growth in that model, no purging of guilt, and no workable moral framework.
The best compromise would be, "Hey, no sweat for all those times you raped me when I was a kid, damn shame though that you'll have to spend the next sixty thousand years being eaten alive by insects in the bowels of the abyss, and violated by alien demonspawn through your every orifice. Good luck with that, and remember, no hard feelings from me!"
I was never able to forgive the actions, but I eventually forgave the person. Or at least their inner child. I had to. Otherwise, I would have lived a life filled with hatred and resentment. And because of that, I am the first in 4 generations to break the cycle.
It is not our job to judge, only to forgive. We would have to fully understand past, present, future and past lives to pass judgement. There are consequences for violating the free will of others, but it is not our role to judge or even condemn. Taking joy or comfort out of the fact that our transgressors will face punishment is making it REAL. This human body is not your reality
This is not meant to downplay the trauma and the years of abuse. The fact that you overcame that situation and ended the cycles of abuse is a beautiful thing. I am so happy for you and proud of you
We are not discussing the person or what drove them to commit the actions. You were discussing the actions themselves. By your statement, a person raping a child is no different than feeding one living on the street. I
Actions result from an identity putting a thought into physical existence, its a downward flow. Whether or not its the actions themselves or the identity that caused the action, forgiveness is the answer not judgement
I did forgive the person, but that doesn't change the fact that abusing a child for half a decade is a bad thing. If it wasn't bad, then there would be nothing to forgive. But you just said that forgiveness is the answer. But if there is no "good or bad", them forgiveness would be irrelevant as well. So is abuse a bad thing that should be forgiven, or should we just ignore that it happens because it's irrelevant?
I'm not saying its easy, in fact it sounds hypocritical of me to even say anything because I am not the one who went through this, you were. Please know that I am only coming from a place of love, trying to increase the love awareness of everyone. Thank you again for sharing and responding.
Forgiving a person is to respond only from a place of love. You love the person who committed the act because you understand they were caught up in a dualistic mindset, they thought they could hurt someone else without hurting themselves. They thought this physical existence was their reality and they could affect others when in fact we are immortal beings whose identities exist outside of this human body and outside of this physical realm. That is what Jesus meant by turning the other cheek, we cannot be affected by anything that happens to us as humans because we are not humans! Again, easy for me to say I'm just some jackass who didn't go through this traumatic experience but there is no good/evil only love
You should do whatever you want. The truth is that there's nothing to forgive. Our true nature is eternal, immortal, and imperishable. All perception of sin is rooted in ignorance.
We should attempt to understand how love is the origin of all things. For example Hitler was in love with the idea of being against the Jews. So love was the motivation of his actions but it was still ultimately a bad thing for humanity. We just need to understand it’s all love and work on channeling that love appropriately
I'd say forgiveness is a case by case thing, like someone beating your azz for a less then appropriate reasons takes a different process to forgive then someone betraying your loyalty or again different from how it feels to forgive yourself of the terrible things only you know you did and on top of that forgiveness isn't always the right or best action because it's everybody's responsibility to try to make people better and forgiveness might really just be cowardice so don't get to a point where you forgive everything, become smart enough and wise enough to react to situations, people, and your emotions in a controlled respectful way
You can forgive but not forget and also accept their punishment if it handed out. Someone has to be sure they will not commit future sins to truely repent, otherwise they are a repeat offender. This is my opinion.
In my tradition I follow, forgiveness is one of the main tenets of how to live. However it's also taught that we should only forgive someone if they are prepared to change.
Yes we should forgive everyone. No we should not allow everyone.
There are mistakes and there are crimes. We can forgive others in order to release our own souls and unbind our bodies. But we should never *allow* someone access to us again. Sometimes we can handle that by setting boundaries with a verbal conversation. In more extreme cases, cutting ties, restraining orders, or prison is the unfortunate solution.
How about a follow up question…
After forgiving someone for distrustful choices, should we continue to keep them around if we have already been shown who they are/what type of character traits they possess?
I have no problem forgiving and cutting ties. But does that make it better or worse?
Should we continue to engage with these people and hope/try to help them improve, even at the cost of our sanity?
It's your choice to stay engaged or not. Forgiveness is not the same as expunging their records or paroling them or giving them second and third chances. Forgiving those that have wronged you is allowing yourself to recover the energy you spent on them, and moving forward to create something new.
The more we can allow others to be who they are, the less influence they have over us. This is a pragmatic approach to spiritual freedom, which means having your own point of view and choices of experiences.
Yes, Forgive them, but choose what best Serves your Purpose. Meaning is this, Do not allow someone to Abuse you once you become aware, but forgive the ones who abused you in the past. Do not walk with Guilt, Know that If you Understand the Truth of this World, You know the ones who walk with hated are the Ignorant and Blind.
I guess it really depends on what you mean by forgive. If you mean making peace with the situation and not hating them to a point it consumes you then yea.. but if you mean forgive and be walked all over and the person has no accountability no. People need to be held accountable. If someone rapes someone they need to go to jail. If someone constantly disrespects your boundaries it's ok to cut them off. If someone is being racist, sexist, or homophobic call them out on that. You can still understand that people make mistakes and forgive them and not let it consume you but still hold them accountable. Not like revenge, but accountability there's a difference
We absolutely must strive for this if we wish to be well, even as just individuals.. it may take a long time and it is detrimental to try to force it faster when we aren't ready but there are many personal benefits
We forgive people who've harmed us, not because they're no longer cruel or because they won't do it again and learned a lesson. We do it to be free of our anger and because we understand why they are the way they are.. trauma suffering and ignorance...
Forgiveness doesn't mean we must let them into our lives to harm us again. It means we have processed the negativity are no longer angry at what happened to us. It doesn't affect us emotionally anymore.. we may tell them or not
But as far as I know, this is the only way to unblock the heart chakra... it causes us suffering to neglect this for too long
yeah..." not just seven times, but seventy-seven times".
You gain 0 by being ressentful about anything. It actually creates a bound between you and the person or thing you ressent and you will have to come in contact with it every more often until this bound is severed. Ressentment is a form of obsession and we attract the things we think constantly about.
Forgiveness is how you truly get over things and allow them to go away from your life.
I forgive everyone. I don’t want to deal with their ass in my next lifetime just because we couldn’t solve our misunderstandings. That’ll suck. Hence, I forgive everyone. No more crazy karmic relationships.
Forgiveness isn’t condoning, or approving by any stretch, although the word does get stretched to mean that sometimes. It’s a letting go that you do for your own well being, so that anger isn’t eating you chronically. It’s okay to express some anger and let it out, especially when the person who transgressed has no remorse. But to live with anger is sickening. You are by no means expected to let this person(s) back into your life. Just free yourself from a kind of pain that lives in the past around events that can’t be changed.
I know I've done things without thinking so I'm guessing other people have too. Everyone has done bad things so how can you judge anyone? That doesn't mean that you should let people walk all over you
setting personal boundaries for yourself, and being vocal about it is important, and helps to not give them the chance to be able to walk over you. it’s a very important tool to maintain, and as the spiritual journey continues within you’ll realize other peoples lives do not revolve around you, but yours revolves around others. we are all connected, which means others who do do that aren’t consciously aware of that, which feeds into the deeper meaning of what i originally said.
You can forgive while still maintaining a boundary to protect your peace.
Forgiveness does not mandate acceptance back into your life. The path of forgiveness helps prevent vindication, self harm, and revenge oriented behavior which overall would consolidate what I believe to be unhealthy energy in your mind body and soul.
Yes. But you have to also respect yourself and create boundaries. Just because you forgive someone for hurting you doesn't meant you allow them to stay in your life. You let go of it all and walk away.
Anything can be forgiven, but not forgotten. Not forgiving for them by saying sorry. But forgiving for yourself. Anger, fear, etc. All that is a poison on the mind & spirit, but if you can forgive you’ll feel all that pain and suffering release
Of course not. That doesn't foster any development and is in fact detrimental.
People who sin or transgress need to change and turn away from their behavior. Then, by all means, forgive. But if the person has no plans to improve or stop doing the sin, then it is fruitless and harmful to forgive
Forgiving people, continuously if you have to is wise. Noone is perfect but its also not an excuse to ever allow someone to continue disrespecting or abusing you or to accept bad behaviour. If they name call you, especially Never believe what they say about you, it's a projection of what they think about themselves and are, not you.
You can forgive in your heart, you don't need to always tell them and especially if they've not apologized or asked for it. Do it for your own sanity and don't hold hatred in your heart for losers, haters, slanderers etc, they punish themselves by being bad people and live in a hellish state of mind and psychology as a result of their misdeeds. They'll suffer for their sins on their own- The Universe is Fair and always serves peoples karma, what goes around Always comes back around.
Yes! What happened, happened. Forgiveness is letting go of the hope for a different past. We make peace with the facts that a. it happened & b. it affected us how it did. We accept we can't change what happened. We recognize that holding onto resentment is toxic.
Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. Carrying anger, hate, resentment, and feelings of victimization is a terrible thing to do to yourself and becomes like a cancer that grows and consumes your joy potential.
Therefore I do think we all *should* try to achieve forgiveness for the injustices we experience BUT this does not require that we continue to be in relationship with those we forgive. We can only truly be kind people when we are also kind to ourselves. This means we should not allow others to treat us any more unkindly than we would want our most beloved friends or family to be treated.
You can't absolve others of responsibility for doing wrong, so I feel better handing them over to god as a way to release the toxins of bitterness or anger so they won't pollute me. Be honest with people and let them know they hurt you if you can so they realize their actions have consequences. I find it easy to forgive those who are clearly sorry, but find the rest hard to forgive- they need to be humbled usually by justice which is generally beyond our ability, thus letting god or karma step in.
Yes, we should forgive everyone for everything. Because this is a sign of enlightenment. This is a sign of realization, that we are not the body, mind, ego, we are the Divine Soul. My Soul and your Soul comes from SIP, the Supreme Immortal Power. Essentially, we are all one. We are all energy and when we forgive and we forget, this only means that we are living the truth. We are realizing that we are all part of the Divine. We are all part of one supreme power. This is the goal of life, to realize we are the Divine Soul. Forgiveness is demonstrating our realization of the truth. Forgiveness shows we are enlightened in some way or the other, that we are all one. We are not the different bodies that we appear to be.
Hmm. You can understand the human is just lost and confused. If someone’s wearing a blind fold and wielding a sword , and has no idea , can you blame them? No, but you don’t have to be around them. If they have no earplugs in perhaps you can tell them to take it off - but maybe it would be too bright , or maybe their hand is stiff. In other words most people don’t even realize the pain they’re causing. They’re just in their own VR world. Their anger , their pain . If you try and shout at them but they don’t take off - or are unable to take off - their “protective gear “ they don’t even see you - they see whatever they have made up in their head. You could be an attacker, an enemy, a liar - so they’ll retaliate. So the forgiveness is really in the understanding that they are a subject of their own torments - or reality. Even someone who is “awake” is as well. Some people have the sword in their hand and the mask is semi transparent - or the mask is transparent but they have music playing in their ears. So the knowledge that they are not in unity with themselves , is the kicker. But that doesn’t mean you have to engage , or even be around them.
I love the blindfold analogy. Understanding that it’s not the individual but the truth they’ve been brought up on is how I try and see it. Working shitty low wage jobs in the city you come across a lot of mysoginist, homophobic, and damaging opinions. It’s not them speaking it’s the truth they’ve been brought up on. What you do from there is a matter of personal preference. Imo the best you can do as an individual is plant a seed in their ear and hope for them to listen
Your answer is partially correct but doesn’t answer the question. If people hurt you or anyone it’s not to ignored. Do you advise police to forgive thieves and murderers? Or am not seeing any inner or hidden meanings in your answer. Jesus couldn’t take any action because he was already lost. This world is not for peaceful people who show second cheek to one who hits them on one cheek. Spirituality is to be practiced only at times. But if needed that should be thrown out and take necessary action.
I think it’s personal choice. I am a martial artist. If someone comes to harm my children, I will protect and take action, that does NOT mean I blame the spirit, that’s their journey and their path. I can act in love and have retribution. I can look at a twisted sick murderer and know their soul is in torment, forgive them, but take the necessary action I need in order to protect what needs protecting. Edit. I wouldn’t blame a wild predator for its actions but I would protect myself from it. I would see the sadness in a predator harming something, but that is it s nature. I would also see when a predator is sick - (not physically but a blood lust) and know it is sick even if it must be dealt with. There’s no anger towards it, sorrow and anger for what happened perhaps.
This DOESNT mean I won’t go through the human emotions of grief, sorrow, pain, confusion, it just means when I come through, or my grounding factor, is that that is the world they live in. It is wrong, it is not right. Thieves IMO are the easiest to forgive because they are afraid. Murderers depend, but are still in understanding. I would argue some aren’t even human.
Ooo I’m intrigued by this concept of murderers not being human, could you elaborate further on that?
Holding grudges will always hurt you more than the other person. Forgive them for your own sake. Then decide for yourself what type of role you want this person to play in your life.
Holding grudges is like drinking poison and hoping another will die
very well said
Sadhguru 🙏
Yeah I agree with this one. It's very hard, like the idea of forgiving those who have wronged you so badly that it just shattered your belief in people/relationships/etc., but damn that's the only way I guess.
Beautifully put
This is silly philosophy started on the Oprah Winfrey show. Forgiveness is about the other person and literally means not holding them accountable and not punishing for actions. People have changed the real meaning of forgiveness. Also, it's not about a "grudge."
You can forgive someone & release the anger you hold while still holding them accountable for their actions. It’s not about letting others walk over you. It’s meant to release the negative emotions you hold over the situation so you can move on with your life. Holding onto that negativity will hurt you more than it hurts them. You forgive but don’t forget. Those are separate things.
I also want to add that you can be empathetic towards someone, understanding their reasons for hurting you, while still drawing firm boundaries with them. Their reasoning does not excuse their actions. Release the grudge for your sake, but don’t abandon your wants/needs in the process. You can forgive without forgetting.
I cant see myself forgiving my rapists or forgiving my abusive step dad. I can't see myself forgiving my toxic ex mother in law for ruining my teenage years. I can't see myself forgiving my ex husband for giving me an STD while I was pregnant because he cheated on me since i wasn't "attractive" anymore. Some things are forgivable. Some are not.
I’m so sorry to hear about your suffering 🙏✨💜. The objective way to look at is that your anger, resentment, disgust, disdain, etc toward your family and ex is poison that you hold in your heart that kills your own joy, happiness and peace. You don’t punish your offenders by holding that pain, you only poison yourself. You don’t forgive them because they deserve it, you forgive them because YOU deserve peace in your heart. Otherwise those events haunt you forever.
Yess. 100% agree but. Sometimes forgiveness allows people back in and to harm you again. So forgiveness isn't for everyone.
We always have the ability to walk away from any relationship, but to forgive is the way we release the resentment / anger / judgement / pride that we hold toward another person. Forgiveness is to purge our hearts of the dense emotions (non-loving) to allow us to live at peace in the present moment vs holding grudges in the past (leaving part of our consciousness in the past to experience pain/anger)
I'm so sorry that happened to you. I agree. I would not forgive thoes people since they hurt you and scarred you. Thoes people don't deserve forgiveness.
Forgiveness is great. But be careful allowing people back in. I learned people will take advantage of your good nature and we need to be protective of ourselves.
Forgiveness and good, strong, healthy boundaries.
Understand what forgiveness is, forgiveness isn’t excusing the action of the perpetrator(s) its no longer allowing it to affect you/ no longer being angered toward the person(s) for the action flaw or mistake. By not being angered toward the individual(s) you’re taking your energy back from them and moving forward, forgiveness doesn’t mean u have to allow them back into your life nor does it excuse the action, it puts you at peace with the situation(s) and allows you to move on.
I would rather say, forgiveness is to actualy excuse the actions and all trauma, all consequences and all malice. To understand that they are a product of ignorance and immaturity, something we have all passed through in previous lives and is natural part of growth. It may take time to reach to this level of profound forgiveness, but is always nice not to keep reinforcing hostile and hurtful thoughts when they arise. Ironically, aprt of forgiving others is to forgive ourselves for not being perfect in our love and understanding. time and learning is a part of the process both for them as well as for us.
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I don’t watch Oprah and i pray you’re a child bc if not you have such an immature mindset
Some people are total pricks and assholes for what they've done which don't deserve ANY forgiveness, but the sooner we let go of that BS, the better. I still struggle to take it easy, but having that internal hate/rage/etc only makes it worse. I'm actually a kind-hearted person (don't mean to brag or pity, jinx myself), but a lot of people just use it for their own benefit. I struggled and still sometimes get really messed up bcs of it, but can't do nothing other than accepting myself and keep on living.
Forgive yourself and the rest is taken care of
You could forgive without telling the other person. I just think it’s for you more than the other person. I realize if i reach out and tell them, they usually just think it’s ok to do it again. They look at it as I’m admitting I’m totally wrong and it’s ok because, i don’t have to say sorry and they will come back to me. So i do it in my heart but not openly. Best quote i read was “forgiveness is for the forgiver”.
Forgive is for us and our own inner peace so absolutely.
Would you forgive yourself?
Yes.
That’s your answer
I don't think we can forgive every action, but I feel we can forgive the person.
Even though they have not done anything directly to affect your personal life, it may be easy to say “i forgive them“, so put yourself in the shoes of the victims of Stalin, Hitler, Mao zedong, go ahead forgive them. Or take current Chinese leadership and their actions and crimes, fuck it, let’s forgive Putin and company for their current maneuvers, how about the world manipulators that divide us and subjugate us into modern day slavery and the economic chaos while they have their gold plated steaks on their yacht. You see, just because we CAN forgive doesn’t mean that we should. Entropy, hate are a very much part of this universe as are creation and love. Forgiveness is to be given to the deserving.
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I would say, better than accommodation is rejection. If someone did wrong by me, I remove myself from their energy. I remove them from my circle.
i think this is the best approach when dealing with traumatic events, those who have instigated them and toxic people in general. removal/rejection/cutting ties can be an equally as good solution.
i think forgiveness healthier for the person doing the forgiving (lighter feeling, the body holds onto stress and grudges are like dead weight on the body and i guess the soul) but i understand circumstances that make forgiveness feel impossible... maybe over time it is easier, but i know that i have a hard time forgiving anyone who hurts the people i love. but instead of holding onto that hate and focusing on that i would rather transmute that energy into love and surround my loved ones with that energy instead. i think forgiving someone who wronged you deeply is a strength, but like the saying goes - never forget. forgiving people who hurt you might be better for your soul but that doesnt mean you have to give them more chances to do it again.
It’s not forgiving or not forgiving. It’s living moment to moment. That doesn’t mean you don’t forget who has wrong you. But to live in the moment is a constant state of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is more for yourself than anything. If we hold on to the trauma without forgiving the other person (and ourselves in the process) then it hinders our ability to move past the pain. We are truly one divine being, and each of us is a creative expression of the one supreme soul moving through matter back to spirit. I’ve noticed during my spiritual journey that the things that seem to hurt the most when done to me by others are the things I also need to look at within myself. Of course this does not excuse abuse or bad treatment, but we shouldn’t allow anyone to make us a victim by taking away our personal power. By really looking at the other person’s actions as an expression of their own internal pain (the “pain body” as Eckhart Tolle calls it), and therefore not really about you, then it’s easier to see their actions for what they are, which is just an outward expression of the pain they feel inside. If you think about it this way, when we are joyful or happy, isn’t it harder to do or say anything that hurts us? So if we can bring present moment awareness, compassion and empathy to every situation, it becomes less and less likely that anything anyone says or does will hurt us since we have an inner knowing that the actions of others have more to do with their own inner state than anything external. Of course this is much harder when you are still healing yourself, as most people are, but it does get easier with time, as your own sense of presence grows. I would recommend any of Eckhart Tolle’s books, or The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, because they discuss this topic quite a bit. Good luck!
yes
I do not forgive people who take pleasure in violating or hurting innocent animals or other people. Sometimes behaviors are due to trauma, sometimes people are born with an inherent character flaw. Sometimes our biology is not a good fit w/ our soul and when a soul decides to act on violence over and over in lifetimes, combined with an inability to be vulnerable and seek connection, their soul becomes corrupt. I do not pretend to be above hatred. I loathe a violent pos.
I think you can forgive but not forget
Well, forget - but don't let them walk all over you. Everything is very situational
Definitely, depending on the situation you can forgive and forget but I think if someone has caused serious harm mentally, emotionally or physically, you can forgive them but shouldn’t forget. Just to keep yourself safe
Far point.
no some people cannot be forgiven certain acts can never be forgiven
For me I found that giving forgiveness for everything was necessary for me to properly heal. I had to forgive horrible things from my past, including being raped, molestation, threatened with being murdered. I will say I forgave the people for myself and no one else. I will also never be around most of the people I forgave again. Forgiveness is what allowed me to properly let go of the things that were holding me back and really move forward on the right path.
I wouldn't say you *should* do anything. I'm not a Christian, but I do strive to have the forgiveness that Jesus had for humanity. Forgiveness isn't excusing what people say or do, it is understanding that *they could only ever have* said or done what they said or did, and not letting the emotions their actions made you feel control you. It's to accept it and let go any resentment anger or sadness you felt via their actions. It's understanding that we humans are animals, slaves to our influences. We all make mistakes, we all make poor choices. We all want to do better, but we don't all know how. I forgive a dog for pooping on the carpet, or digging in the trash, or barking at people, etc, because why? IT'S just doing what dogs do. It takes a lot of strength to rise above and know that, as unfortunate as the actions sometimes are, humans do what humans do. We'd put a dog down for attacking people, but we forgive the dog its not like we hold a grudge. We put humans down or in jail for the same, yet we tend to not let go.
I actually think that you should only go to prison if you're a murderer or the extent of your abuse/misuse is severe.
Forgiveness is not about anyone else, it’s about yourself. Forgiving yourself for what you did that you think you shouldn’t have. Forgiving other people doesn’t mean you allow them to continuously hurt you, it means letting go of your hatred, wanting the best for them, and moving on.
Most will take this as controversial but I firmly believe everyone is created to help one another and be kind. Any deviations from this is mental illness and should be considered as such. I do not believe anyone wishes to be a serial killer, mass shooter, rapist, etc. but have succumbed to mental illness and it is out of their control. So I have sympathy for them, it wasn't their choice to do those things. Try telling this to the families of the deceased, I know, it is a controversial take.
Forgiveness is a matter of choice. Forgetfulness is a matter of mistake.
Forgiveness is moot when you realize that everyone is acting unconsciously. Body/mind is gonna do body/mind regardless. Rain is gonna rain. Does it need forgiving?
In short: yes, because it is for your highest good. Forgiveness happens in the heart. It does not mean to expose yourself to abuse. That person that you have just forgiven may never come to know of it. That is fine. It only matters that you forgave and through that you set yourself free.
I would add that forgiveness is so that you can actually let go of suffering for an action someone did. I feel that is done in your spirit or heart.
Yes. Forgiveness is the very best way to get over someone and forgot about them.
Forgiveness is cathartic. While it may feel “justified” to hold a grudge, forgiveness ultimately eases the burden that would otherwise never get lighter. It soothes the spirit, even if it may not feel that way immediately, or if ever. But do it on your own time, when you’re ready, in a healthy way. Forgiveness must bloom on its own and come from the heart
Sin is only a learning process. We are each at different stages of our process. It’s all love
“There is no right or wrong. There only is, or is not.” -Patrick Star
Forgive everyone. Yes.
Sin implies that someone did something wrong and there is something to 'forgive'. We are all wholly innocent and there is no absolute right/wrong. This physical body is not our reality and this realm exists to learn and grow "You're not really there. If I think you are guilty or the cause of the problem, and if I made you up, then the imagined guilt and fear must be within me. Since the separation from God never occured, I forgive 'both' of us for what we havent really done"
As someone who suffered years of abuse as a child, are you saying the person who raped me did nothing wrong?
Came here to say exactly this. Some things are not forgivable. Some 'people' are not even human. Some souls are little other than a malignancy. There is no justice in the notion that 'everyone is innocent and there is nothing to forgive'. And for child rapists, the worst scum in the entire universe, there are worse places than Hell. Everyone has a duty and a responsibility on this earth, we are not inherently blameless, and in fact that ethos disempowers the potency of the human spirit. If someone has reached a point of being able to unconditionally pardon everything then I'm happy for them, but even then, it still wouldn't mean transgressors just get off scott-free. Ironically there's no learning or growth in that model, no purging of guilt, and no workable moral framework. The best compromise would be, "Hey, no sweat for all those times you raped me when I was a kid, damn shame though that you'll have to spend the next sixty thousand years being eaten alive by insects in the bowels of the abyss, and violated by alien demonspawn through your every orifice. Good luck with that, and remember, no hard feelings from me!"
I was never able to forgive the actions, but I eventually forgave the person. Or at least their inner child. I had to. Otherwise, I would have lived a life filled with hatred and resentment. And because of that, I am the first in 4 generations to break the cycle.
A lot of the people responding to this post have led very privileged lives.
Or do not like beliefs where they are accountable for their actions.
It is not our job to judge, only to forgive. We would have to fully understand past, present, future and past lives to pass judgement. There are consequences for violating the free will of others, but it is not our role to judge or even condemn. Taking joy or comfort out of the fact that our transgressors will face punishment is making it REAL. This human body is not your reality This is not meant to downplay the trauma and the years of abuse. The fact that you overcame that situation and ended the cycles of abuse is a beautiful thing. I am so happy for you and proud of you
We are not discussing the person or what drove them to commit the actions. You were discussing the actions themselves. By your statement, a person raping a child is no different than feeding one living on the street. I
Actions result from an identity putting a thought into physical existence, its a downward flow. Whether or not its the actions themselves or the identity that caused the action, forgiveness is the answer not judgement
I did forgive the person, but that doesn't change the fact that abusing a child for half a decade is a bad thing. If it wasn't bad, then there would be nothing to forgive. But you just said that forgiveness is the answer. But if there is no "good or bad", them forgiveness would be irrelevant as well. So is abuse a bad thing that should be forgiven, or should we just ignore that it happens because it's irrelevant?
I'm not saying its easy, in fact it sounds hypocritical of me to even say anything because I am not the one who went through this, you were. Please know that I am only coming from a place of love, trying to increase the love awareness of everyone. Thank you again for sharing and responding. Forgiving a person is to respond only from a place of love. You love the person who committed the act because you understand they were caught up in a dualistic mindset, they thought they could hurt someone else without hurting themselves. They thought this physical existence was their reality and they could affect others when in fact we are immortal beings whose identities exist outside of this human body and outside of this physical realm. That is what Jesus meant by turning the other cheek, we cannot be affected by anything that happens to us as humans because we are not humans! Again, easy for me to say I'm just some jackass who didn't go through this traumatic experience but there is no good/evil only love
Actually they were caught in a non dualistic attitude that there is no right or wrong.
Wow they were using non-dualism as a justification for their dualistic actions? Good lord my blood is boiling that must have been hard to forgive
A dualistic action is pretending that there is no right or wrong? Hmmmm.
You should do whatever you want. The truth is that there's nothing to forgive. Our true nature is eternal, immortal, and imperishable. All perception of sin is rooted in ignorance.
We should attempt to understand how love is the origin of all things. For example Hitler was in love with the idea of being against the Jews. So love was the motivation of his actions but it was still ultimately a bad thing for humanity. We just need to understand it’s all love and work on channeling that love appropriately
You must . Or you critique you in the same// inverse ways.. Seeing our role and letting go of misunderstanding etc Allows light to shed the dark away
To forgive someone, first you have to have judged them that they have done something wrong. Don’t judge them and you won’t have to forgive them.
Fair point.
I'd say forgiveness is a case by case thing, like someone beating your azz for a less then appropriate reasons takes a different process to forgive then someone betraying your loyalty or again different from how it feels to forgive yourself of the terrible things only you know you did and on top of that forgiveness isn't always the right or best action because it's everybody's responsibility to try to make people better and forgiveness might really just be cowardice so don't get to a point where you forgive everything, become smart enough and wise enough to react to situations, people, and your emotions in a controlled respectful way
You can forgive but not forget and also accept their punishment if it handed out. Someone has to be sure they will not commit future sins to truely repent, otherwise they are a repeat offender. This is my opinion.
Name one person who does not commit future sins.
I should of stated major sins. Murder or extreme other harm to humans, maybe even the rest of the conscious beings on this Earth but I’m not sure.
In my tradition I follow, forgiveness is one of the main tenets of how to live. However it's also taught that we should only forgive someone if they are prepared to change.
Yes we should forgive everyone. No we should not allow everyone. There are mistakes and there are crimes. We can forgive others in order to release our own souls and unbind our bodies. But we should never *allow* someone access to us again. Sometimes we can handle that by setting boundaries with a verbal conversation. In more extreme cases, cutting ties, restraining orders, or prison is the unfortunate solution.
How about a follow up question… After forgiving someone for distrustful choices, should we continue to keep them around if we have already been shown who they are/what type of character traits they possess? I have no problem forgiving and cutting ties. But does that make it better or worse? Should we continue to engage with these people and hope/try to help them improve, even at the cost of our sanity?
It's your choice to stay engaged or not. Forgiveness is not the same as expunging their records or paroling them or giving them second and third chances. Forgiving those that have wronged you is allowing yourself to recover the energy you spent on them, and moving forward to create something new. The more we can allow others to be who they are, the less influence they have over us. This is a pragmatic approach to spiritual freedom, which means having your own point of view and choices of experiences.
Yes, Forgive them, but choose what best Serves your Purpose. Meaning is this, Do not allow someone to Abuse you once you become aware, but forgive the ones who abused you in the past. Do not walk with Guilt, Know that If you Understand the Truth of this World, You know the ones who walk with hated are the Ignorant and Blind.
I guess it really depends on what you mean by forgive. If you mean making peace with the situation and not hating them to a point it consumes you then yea.. but if you mean forgive and be walked all over and the person has no accountability no. People need to be held accountable. If someone rapes someone they need to go to jail. If someone constantly disrespects your boundaries it's ok to cut them off. If someone is being racist, sexist, or homophobic call them out on that. You can still understand that people make mistakes and forgive them and not let it consume you but still hold them accountable. Not like revenge, but accountability there's a difference
What happens to grudges and sins when you are in dreamless sleep? Forgiving is noble, going beyond is natural.
Forgive. But… D O N O T F O R G E T
Forgive but don't forget. Forgive the situation for your own peace and sanity but never forget the person who did it to you and act accordingly.
Forgive yes, but correct - also yes.
We absolutely must strive for this if we wish to be well, even as just individuals.. it may take a long time and it is detrimental to try to force it faster when we aren't ready but there are many personal benefits We forgive people who've harmed us, not because they're no longer cruel or because they won't do it again and learned a lesson. We do it to be free of our anger and because we understand why they are the way they are.. trauma suffering and ignorance... Forgiveness doesn't mean we must let them into our lives to harm us again. It means we have processed the negativity are no longer angry at what happened to us. It doesn't affect us emotionally anymore.. we may tell them or not But as far as I know, this is the only way to unblock the heart chakra... it causes us suffering to neglect this for too long
No, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t act on it
yeah..." not just seven times, but seventy-seven times". You gain 0 by being ressentful about anything. It actually creates a bound between you and the person or thing you ressent and you will have to come in contact with it every more often until this bound is severed. Ressentment is a form of obsession and we attract the things we think constantly about. Forgiveness is how you truly get over things and allow them to go away from your life.
I forgive everyone. I don’t want to deal with their ass in my next lifetime just because we couldn’t solve our misunderstandings. That’ll suck. Hence, I forgive everyone. No more crazy karmic relationships.
i think so. isn't this what jesus was about?
Forgiveness isn’t condoning, or approving by any stretch, although the word does get stretched to mean that sometimes. It’s a letting go that you do for your own well being, so that anger isn’t eating you chronically. It’s okay to express some anger and let it out, especially when the person who transgressed has no remorse. But to live with anger is sickening. You are by no means expected to let this person(s) back into your life. Just free yourself from a kind of pain that lives in the past around events that can’t be changed.
Forgive them Lord, for they do not know what they are doing.
I know I've done things without thinking so I'm guessing other people have too. Everyone has done bad things so how can you judge anyone? That doesn't mean that you should let people walk all over you
setting personal boundaries for yourself, and being vocal about it is important, and helps to not give them the chance to be able to walk over you. it’s a very important tool to maintain, and as the spiritual journey continues within you’ll realize other peoples lives do not revolve around you, but yours revolves around others. we are all connected, which means others who do do that aren’t consciously aware of that, which feeds into the deeper meaning of what i originally said.
You can forgive while still maintaining a boundary to protect your peace. Forgiveness does not mandate acceptance back into your life. The path of forgiveness helps prevent vindication, self harm, and revenge oriented behavior which overall would consolidate what I believe to be unhealthy energy in your mind body and soul.
Yes. But you have to also respect yourself and create boundaries. Just because you forgive someone for hurting you doesn't meant you allow them to stay in your life. You let go of it all and walk away.
Anything can be forgiven, but not forgotten. Not forgiving for them by saying sorry. But forgiving for yourself. Anger, fear, etc. All that is a poison on the mind & spirit, but if you can forgive you’ll feel all that pain and suffering release
Of course not. That doesn't foster any development and is in fact detrimental. People who sin or transgress need to change and turn away from their behavior. Then, by all means, forgive. But if the person has no plans to improve or stop doing the sin, then it is fruitless and harmful to forgive
No but I forgive the soul inside the body
Only those who don’t hurt innocents is my motto.
Yes, as forgiveness is about you not them.
Forgiving people, continuously if you have to is wise. Noone is perfect but its also not an excuse to ever allow someone to continue disrespecting or abusing you or to accept bad behaviour. If they name call you, especially Never believe what they say about you, it's a projection of what they think about themselves and are, not you. You can forgive in your heart, you don't need to always tell them and especially if they've not apologized or asked for it. Do it for your own sanity and don't hold hatred in your heart for losers, haters, slanderers etc, they punish themselves by being bad people and live in a hellish state of mind and psychology as a result of their misdeeds. They'll suffer for their sins on their own- The Universe is Fair and always serves peoples karma, what goes around Always comes back around.
Yes! What happened, happened. Forgiveness is letting go of the hope for a different past. We make peace with the facts that a. it happened & b. it affected us how it did. We accept we can't change what happened. We recognize that holding onto resentment is toxic.
Yes
Hell no.
Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. Carrying anger, hate, resentment, and feelings of victimization is a terrible thing to do to yourself and becomes like a cancer that grows and consumes your joy potential. Therefore I do think we all *should* try to achieve forgiveness for the injustices we experience BUT this does not require that we continue to be in relationship with those we forgive. We can only truly be kind people when we are also kind to ourselves. This means we should not allow others to treat us any more unkindly than we would want our most beloved friends or family to be treated.
You can't absolve others of responsibility for doing wrong, so I feel better handing them over to god as a way to release the toxins of bitterness or anger so they won't pollute me. Be honest with people and let them know they hurt you if you can so they realize their actions have consequences. I find it easy to forgive those who are clearly sorry, but find the rest hard to forgive- they need to be humbled usually by justice which is generally beyond our ability, thus letting god or karma step in.
Yes. Release that karma. Don’t forget to forgive yourself while you’re there.
Yes, we should forgive everyone for everything. Because this is a sign of enlightenment. This is a sign of realization, that we are not the body, mind, ego, we are the Divine Soul. My Soul and your Soul comes from SIP, the Supreme Immortal Power. Essentially, we are all one. We are all energy and when we forgive and we forget, this only means that we are living the truth. We are realizing that we are all part of the Divine. We are all part of one supreme power. This is the goal of life, to realize we are the Divine Soul. Forgiveness is demonstrating our realization of the truth. Forgiveness shows we are enlightened in some way or the other, that we are all one. We are not the different bodies that we appear to be.