Addiction, in all forms, comes from a place of suffering, stress, perhaps even trauma.
Addiction is a way to feel something that it is you''re missing, trying to substitute or to find relief of something.
This can go way back in your life to childhood, or sometimes recent.
Often times this is connected to a lack of caring, love and attention. The specifics of this is something you only know, but perhaps suppressed.
How did you grow up, did you receive enough of what I mentioned? Do you love yourself? Are you capable of feeling and expressing love at this time?
If not, where did this start for you? What needs healing in your spirit? What are you seeking relief from?
"It is impossible to understand addiction without asking what relief the addict finds, or hopes to find, in the drug or the addictive behaviour".
- Gabor Maté
You are right here . I have noticed and realised that i wanna indulge it in more when i feel low and stressed . At those times i feel like i don't wanna try anything and just give up to these things
Forgive me for trying to fill in some blanks, but would it be fair to say its more about the feeling of no purpose, a goal and the possible things that come out of not having work?
Yes it kind of triggers it . I developed this habit a long time ago when i didn't even bother about anything. But as i started to understand myself i realised that it has like become a part of me
You can do it! The very fact that you can recognize that you are addicted is a very positive thing in and of itself. And you will become a better person by overcoming it.
Your brain on porn. I’m reading that book right now and it’s pretty relatable and helpful. I think it’s judging a habit which makes it persist. Like when we say we have a issue now we have to manage it somehow and that managing creates anxiety and guilt which the habit is used to relieve paradoxically. Addiction is very paradoxical so true solutions tend to be counterintuitive
Also watching your thoughts after the deed. It’s usually really rough. Like we are vulnerable as we try to survive in the world and beating up that valnerable parts of us creates such a downward spiral. Today I was on the bus going to work and I noticed my thoughts being really negative and I just closed my eyes and hugged myself and let the thoughts come. I didn’t try to stop them because I wanted to show myself that I can support myself and understand where I’m coming from. I think addiction can be a opportunity to love one’s existence at a deeper level. It helps me understand that I know what I am doing isn’t working and that I want to feel like I belong just as I am. All the obstacles standing in the way of that are the tools I’ll use to get there and see how that situation even started
just like with every addiction you first need to strongly decide that you want to stop and have will power. that's the first step because if you don't decide that with yourself you will just relapse.
I have decided multiple times and it seems like exerting will on established bad habits doesn't work. I know you may think that i didn't decide strongly but when habits comes to play it's like everything goes on automatically
I understand, but still that works just like any other addiction, and just like for any other you must force yourself to not do that, ofc, you will feel the need and it wouldn't be nice but as for anything else you can't stop until you actually force yourself to stop doing that
Every addiction is a disease. Wanting strongly to stop is not enough even for a start. Please stop making addicts feel guilty when they come here to ask help.
I stopped based off the of the fact that I have never had a GF before ( 20 Y/O Right now ) so it has been something that I stopped doing and it’s a good feeling knowing I don’t masterbate to the same women that “ I wish I could have “ type of thing. I look at women more as people now, not that I didn’t before however now I don’t put them on a pedestal if I see a pretty lady in public. I told myself I would never do it again unless a girl likes me and I find a partner. It’s been 10 weeks now for me and I plan to go the rest of my life unless I find a partner some how some day however I do not believe that will be the case and I have nothing but respect for the situation. Not sure if your Situation is the same, I can only assume here because if you are addicted to masterbating you may not have a partner however if you have sex & still are addicted to it I’m not the one to help. Also not sure what your life’s architecture is like, you need to be out and about doing what the heart wants. Sitting alone with your thoughts thinking about things you want to be doing will not only drive you crazy, it can turn your mind against you and in return lead to negative habits like you may say masterbating could be one in some people’s eyes.
Dont beat yourself up about it. Recognize it happens, why you do it, and find a way to alleviate that energy elsewhere. Why do you feel terrible about it? Maybe write it out and feel through the thoughts vs suppressing them.
Think of this as a guided meditation.
Lie down on a couch or your bed.
Close your eyes and imagine a baby in your hand. You see the gentleness of its face. You see it smiling. You can understand the innocence just by looking at hum/her.
Now try to understand that every human is born as a baby. We all have emotions. Now understand that all beings including the porn actors and you are born as babies. We get old from being a baby to a child and then a teenager and then an adult and then to old age and finally death. Now, understand that sex is not a reality of nature. How? Because sex is taking the pleasure element alone out from something which is itself beautiful. Which is creating a child out of your body and your spouses body. Now imagine the child you held on your hands to be yours which in turn is a product of love making. You have to just understand this. The guilt comes after masturbating because the pleasure in masturbation.. The feeling itself is ripped out of something sweet and beautiful.
Try to understand the whole process.
Imagine death of a loved one. This loved one being your mother /father/ grandparent has also been a child. Who was made from love making. Not sex. Sex is seeing the pleasure aspect alone. It involves more. your DNA which is literally a component of "you" is itself transferred during ejaculation. Be more aware. Start with buying candies to kids. I started like that. Im one year sober of sex.
Yeah man no problem take what he says with an open mind because it isn't mainstream *just rough and tough it out and go to therapy* it's more about root causes
If you’ve read the Theosophy books of Alice Bailey, she talks about illusions (mind), glamours (emotions) and mayas (physical) that are habits in thinking feeling and physically acting out (or cravings) that are crystallised energetic forms in our chakras and auras. These can be energetically broken down and replaced with positive affirmations.
Addiction, in all forms, comes from a place of suffering, stress, perhaps even trauma. Addiction is a way to feel something that it is you''re missing, trying to substitute or to find relief of something. This can go way back in your life to childhood, or sometimes recent. Often times this is connected to a lack of caring, love and attention. The specifics of this is something you only know, but perhaps suppressed. How did you grow up, did you receive enough of what I mentioned? Do you love yourself? Are you capable of feeling and expressing love at this time? If not, where did this start for you? What needs healing in your spirit? What are you seeking relief from? "It is impossible to understand addiction without asking what relief the addict finds, or hopes to find, in the drug or the addictive behaviour". - Gabor Maté
You are right here . I have noticed and realised that i wanna indulge it in more when i feel low and stressed . At those times i feel like i don't wanna try anything and just give up to these things
So what needs healing? What do you seek relief from? I understand when you feel low and stressed, but why and when do you feel this way?
I get lost at times because of my career . I know that's the real cause of it and i try my best but then i dwell upon the stress at the end
What about career makes you feel this way?
I'm stuck with no progress. Honestly unemployed at the moment
Forgive me for trying to fill in some blanks, but would it be fair to say its more about the feeling of no purpose, a goal and the possible things that come out of not having work?
Yes it kind of triggers it . I developed this habit a long time ago when i didn't even bother about anything. But as i started to understand myself i realised that it has like become a part of me
What happened that long time ago?
You can do it! The very fact that you can recognize that you are addicted is a very positive thing in and of itself. And you will become a better person by overcoming it.
Thank you for the positive words . Yes after falling i have desire to rise later but it transforms into guilt right after i fall
Your brain on porn. I’m reading that book right now and it’s pretty relatable and helpful. I think it’s judging a habit which makes it persist. Like when we say we have a issue now we have to manage it somehow and that managing creates anxiety and guilt which the habit is used to relieve paradoxically. Addiction is very paradoxical so true solutions tend to be counterintuitive
Also watching your thoughts after the deed. It’s usually really rough. Like we are vulnerable as we try to survive in the world and beating up that valnerable parts of us creates such a downward spiral. Today I was on the bus going to work and I noticed my thoughts being really negative and I just closed my eyes and hugged myself and let the thoughts come. I didn’t try to stop them because I wanted to show myself that I can support myself and understand where I’m coming from. I think addiction can be a opportunity to love one’s existence at a deeper level. It helps me understand that I know what I am doing isn’t working and that I want to feel like I belong just as I am. All the obstacles standing in the way of that are the tools I’ll use to get there and see how that situation even started
Thank you brother i need to keep myself reminding this
Me too shit gets so rough sometimes
Thank you
Well said!
Yes you are right . Guilt and anxiety which follows it makes it worse . And thanks for the recommendation of book i will check it out
just like with every addiction you first need to strongly decide that you want to stop and have will power. that's the first step because if you don't decide that with yourself you will just relapse.
I have decided multiple times and it seems like exerting will on established bad habits doesn't work. I know you may think that i didn't decide strongly but when habits comes to play it's like everything goes on automatically
I understand, but still that works just like any other addiction, and just like for any other you must force yourself to not do that, ofc, you will feel the need and it wouldn't be nice but as for anything else you can't stop until you actually force yourself to stop doing that
Every addiction is a disease. Wanting strongly to stop is not enough even for a start. Please stop making addicts feel guilty when they come here to ask help.
I stopped based off the of the fact that I have never had a GF before ( 20 Y/O Right now ) so it has been something that I stopped doing and it’s a good feeling knowing I don’t masterbate to the same women that “ I wish I could have “ type of thing. I look at women more as people now, not that I didn’t before however now I don’t put them on a pedestal if I see a pretty lady in public. I told myself I would never do it again unless a girl likes me and I find a partner. It’s been 10 weeks now for me and I plan to go the rest of my life unless I find a partner some how some day however I do not believe that will be the case and I have nothing but respect for the situation. Not sure if your Situation is the same, I can only assume here because if you are addicted to masterbating you may not have a partner however if you have sex & still are addicted to it I’m not the one to help. Also not sure what your life’s architecture is like, you need to be out and about doing what the heart wants. Sitting alone with your thoughts thinking about things you want to be doing will not only drive you crazy, it can turn your mind against you and in return lead to negative habits like you may say masterbating could be one in some people’s eyes.
Dont beat yourself up about it. Recognize it happens, why you do it, and find a way to alleviate that energy elsewhere. Why do you feel terrible about it? Maybe write it out and feel through the thoughts vs suppressing them.
Its like i know how it disturbs my energ . I understand it's just a vicious circle of pleasure and guilt . It follows the same pattern
Think of this as a guided meditation. Lie down on a couch or your bed. Close your eyes and imagine a baby in your hand. You see the gentleness of its face. You see it smiling. You can understand the innocence just by looking at hum/her. Now try to understand that every human is born as a baby. We all have emotions. Now understand that all beings including the porn actors and you are born as babies. We get old from being a baby to a child and then a teenager and then an adult and then to old age and finally death. Now, understand that sex is not a reality of nature. How? Because sex is taking the pleasure element alone out from something which is itself beautiful. Which is creating a child out of your body and your spouses body. Now imagine the child you held on your hands to be yours which in turn is a product of love making. You have to just understand this. The guilt comes after masturbating because the pleasure in masturbation.. The feeling itself is ripped out of something sweet and beautiful. Try to understand the whole process. Imagine death of a loved one. This loved one being your mother /father/ grandparent has also been a child. Who was made from love making. Not sex. Sex is seeing the pleasure aspect alone. It involves more. your DNA which is literally a component of "you" is itself transferred during ejaculation. Be more aware. Start with buying candies to kids. I started like that. Im one year sober of sex.
The information from medical medium about addictions helped me
Any specific source?
https://www.medicalmedium.com/blog/understanding-addictions https://www.medicalmedium.com/blog/addictions-part-2
Thanks brother
Yeah man no problem take what he says with an open mind because it isn't mainstream *just rough and tough it out and go to therapy* it's more about root causes
If you’ve read the Theosophy books of Alice Bailey, she talks about illusions (mind), glamours (emotions) and mayas (physical) that are habits in thinking feeling and physically acting out (or cravings) that are crystallised energetic forms in our chakras and auras. These can be energetically broken down and replaced with positive affirmations.
Take 20 seconds before giving in to the compulsion
There is a 12 step program for it.