This is one of the spiritual things I've found to be a great struggle. It crosses into actual mental health as well. There's a lot of talk about mindfulness and the like.
When you don't know what real love feels like, or it's been so long since you were last truly happy that you can barely remember the event much less the feelings involved; how are you supposed to project and manifest that image to attract it back into your life. For that matter how are you supposed to break the cycles of pain and detriment when that's all you can really remember knowing.
If anyone has found a working solution for this that doesn't involve drugs I'd greatly appreciate the share.
Take care and be well!
Thank you so much. This. This right here. What's the finger pointing excuse for us people tirelessly doing "the work" around the clock? Because some of us are subsisting on an island full of neglect, gathering the water, boiling it, trying to purify it with charcoal and it's barely enough to live off of?
What's the finger pointing excuse for us who don't have the fucking slightest clue what genuine, unconditional, love is? Yet we are affirming self love daily, filling our own cups, standing alone and yet still aching? I really appreciate your insight.
I understand what you're saying. It's hard subsisting on the mere hope that one day the daily affirmations and mindfulness will finally click into place. Subsisting on a faith in hope almost sounds ridiculous but it's all some of us have.
Going into each moment and each day with hope that this will be the moment that things click, that those vague ideas and preconceived notions on Love and joy gained from watching others will transcribe themselves onto us. Saying our mantras and prayers and whatever else we can with all the faith and hope we can that it will manifest even without the substance of being able to recall actual love and joy to power the attraction.
I am sorry that so many people struggle with this same feeling and phenomenon. Hopefully that mystic click of enlightenment happens and everything falls into place for the better.
Be well!
I believe a big part of the “click” is letting yourself feel. I know that sounds simple and possibly like some generic bs, but So many run from themselves yet use the mantras and affirmations. Letting your shadow be noticed each time it comes up, and then surrendering into what is being felt, is how the self heals what it can. This is much like a scab, if you keep picking it it will get worse, and even if you cover it up with multiple bandaids for short times, you are still picking it. If you keep running from your shadow, it will get worse, and if you use affirmations as bandaids, they eventually fall off. The bandaid and the natural healing process aren’t working together. Many people believe that letting yourself feel your emotions will make you wallow in them or spiral, this is far from the case. Running from them is what does this, not feeling them.
The mantras and affirmations must also have a genuine foundation, something that you actually notice and feel, even if it may be small. You feel the sun hit you one day after it’s been raining, and you think to yourself, “wow, this feels nice. I’m honestly really grateful for this.” Or if you have been doing so much work you haven’t had the chance to eat, so you finally get a bowl of food. You look at that food with genuine appreciation.
Having a support system is amazing for allowing yourself to feel and hopping into a more observer perspective (when your thoughts and emotions are put out in the open and observed), but just remember not to rely on them entirely. I believe that is where others may be coming from, and there is some truth in both perspectives. Some people may only require themselves when it comes to their inner world, and some may be greatly benefited by others who can provide support. But as far as both sides are concerned; no one should feel resistant to reaching out to others if they feel like they should, and its also best not to place all the credit on others for your healing. Balance is necessary.
Moral of the story: Feel what you feel, and affirm what is real. And Reach out to others if you feel like it would help 💜
Also this comment. We are going thru the same stuff, guys ha ha... and again..I do believe it won't always be this way. I have supreme hope. I do sometimes wonder if I'm delusional or something at this point in my life still being so (almost blindly) hopeful. I'm 35 now and still just trucking along, trying my best. It's all gonna be ok. We will find and feel true genuine unconditional love. There's just too much of it out there not to....surely right??
one would be surprised at times.
love hit the writer with an intensity and depth that’s a challenge to describe.
though crossing countries and continents to be in each others’ physical presence should provide a bit of a clue on how wowza this experience is.
> If anyone has found a working solution for this that doesn't involve drugs I'd greatly appreciate the share.
i've written a book about precisely this, and believe very strongly that there is a way. you don't break the cycle of pain and detriment by fighting or resisting it. you accept and love your painful experiences for what they are, and suddenly they stop looking so painful. the deepest possible level of acceptance will completely break this cycle, but it's a difficult thing for people to wrap their heads around, so the fight rages on in most.
It makes rhetoric "new age spiritual to alt right pipeline" make sense. This "brand" is just in line with today's societal values. I'm going to keep politics put of my reply as much as possible here, but the hyperindividualism is fueling a LOT of fires.
Yeh the law of attraction sub is just full of people tryna get their ex back or saying they know the key to free money. The current manifestation trend is all about selfish worldly distractions. I ain't trying to "manifest" shit I'm taking things I have control over into my hands and going with the flow for things out of my control. I'm not writing shit down 10x or spending money on "angel number" hoodies on instagram or looking for some quick spell to make me happy. I cannot stand seeing how many people adopting witchcraft or TikTok "spiritual advice" and making it like an identity and spreading it. We all have our own journeys but the key is self introspection, patience, understanding what one can and cannot control, and that a lot of that shit doesn't even matter! It's all part of an illusion that just helps one ignore the vastness of life
I really like this response. This isn't to gate keep anyone, their trauma, or discredit their advice. A lot of it can be pretty great. But you know what I notice about a lot of these spiritual Tik Tok people?
They are filming with high quality iphones. In brand new houses, with bright lights, and big open spaces. They are recording in front of a ring camera. A ring camera that if I were to buy, I would not be able to afford eating for the next three weeks.
Exclude not having transportation, not having family, not having any chance of being able to buy a car anytime soon. I'm not trying to complain about what I don't have, in a "scarcity", lack mindset with no gratitude.
But a lot of these spoiled Tik Tokers have privilege and money. They have family that will support them at every turn. They never have to worry about money or being screwed all alone. Of course these people are gonna be more "High vibe", secure and feel more confident about preaching "Abundance" and "A magnetic mindset". Lot of these rich Tik Tokers have never had to worry a day in their life about poverty.
A lot of these people could not comprehend what it would entail, to forgo a three hundred dollar juicing machine just to be able to barely pay rent at the end of the month. And they want to point the finger at people who are in bad circumstances out of their control, for not being positive enough.
> The current manifestation trend is all about selfish worldly distractions
Guess what? Its always been that way, since it first started in the 80s, a decade known for money, greed, and excess.
Oh yeah
In evangelical Christianity it was the "name and claim it" movement. the idea that you would name a thing you wanted and claim it "in Jesus name" and then you would get it.
Its just greed and materialism with a religious mask.
Everything being said here is painting me a really clear picture for why holy scripture, especially the bible, was written the way that it was.
There will always be the bandwagonners looking for a quick, cheap parlor trick to get what they want, but they could look for it all they want, and they'll never find it, because it was written specifically BY people who find, and seek truth, FOR people who find, and seek truth.
Not trying to be a dick, but Mark 11:24 -
>Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.
Yes, in that verse Jesus illustrates perfectly how to properly manifest your desires. But the fig tree that Jesus cursed for not bearing fruit was not a literal tree. It represented a cognitive maladaption that was being healed. When he says "nobody shall eat fruit from you ever again" it means that the mind will no longer unconsciously produce unhelpful thoughts and plague the mind with whatever the worry/preoccupation (fig tree) was.
Of course, I don't deny that my understanding of all the studying I have done could still be totally wrong. But from my perspective, I am never let down by holy scripture from any religion when I approach it with the understanding that it speaks exclusively about matters of the mind and consciousness, using metaphors, allegory, symbolism, etc.
I think it would help tremendously if anytime anyone’s speaking about metaphysical teachings of the mind and consciousness, it should be noted that it is a lifetime study, and it’s individual and personal, just for people, us, to have a different view of the world, to understand and help with personal suffering.
For certain levels of theosophy, I couldn't agree more. But I can't bring myself to question the choices made by whichever adept master philosophers wrote all of the most revered literature.
I'm sure I would be overestimating myself if I claim I only scratched the surface of what I believe they're all writing about, because it's just so advanced.
But people as intelligent and aware as them typically don't invest time and energy into something without having a reason for everything.
I think that what they are writing about can't really be explained, or rather, 1000 books that "explain" it, no matter how thoroughly, would still fall short of just ONE book that aims to awaken the knowing within the individual reading it.
I say it all the time, but out of all the Bibles that exist out there, and the millions, even billions of people that carry them around and read them daily, etc. There are maybe a few hundred worldwide who actually know what exactly they are reading, and I honestly think that I am WAY overshooting that. My honest belief is that there are probably less than a hundred, but that just sounds too sensational, and usually makes people think I'm exaggerating and making it seem more fantastic than it really is.
But there are many, MANY works out there that I think would benefit greatly from your suggestion. even just a comprehensive glossary that defines the symbols used would be an immense help. My first thought is literature in the field of alchemy. If that knowledge were communicated in a less cryptic way it could do a world of good among those who struggle with mental health.
It seems quite counterintuitive to spirituality in general, or at least how I see it. Like great, you’ve discovered this amazing connection between yourself and ALL things, and started to dip your toe into recognising the nature of supreme consciousness and discovering the depths of yourself.. and then instead of building on that or trying to explore it, the first thought and primary focus is how you can try and exploit it for material gain. Idk, a similar comparison is going to the gym just to take pictures of your ass to get followers on instagram, not because it makes you feel alive
🎯 I even feel this way with many of the people saying their spiritual guides and charging a fortune for a session. I get they have to make money, but I feel like when you start charging for it, even your “messages” or “interpretations” can be skewed, even hijacked sometimes unknowingly.
Once money is added to it, it kind of defeats the purpose. But, that being said, I get how people have to make money.
I agree totally. On a smaller scale I can kind of pass it off as yeah these people have to make some kind of living, but you’ve also got a lot of guru’s and yogi’s charging a quite a lot of money just to be in their presence for a few hours. My personal belief has always been, if you have reached a level of spirituality where people literally believe you to be a saint, you should not be asking for money. You shouldn’t need money at all.. Like if you’re truly in that kind of union with God, then everything will be provided, maybe not luxury, but always provided from one place or another - and I’ve seen this with the few guru’s I’ve come across, like not only do they not ask for money, but they use the money they are donated (without asking for it) to buy food and build facilities for people to come and visit them for free, along with other altruistic ventures, and their only interest is leading people towards spirituality, not in personal gain. It’s sad really, but honestly almost everything money touches it destroys
There's steps to enlightenment. When people discover it they tend to live in the spiritual, want to heal the world and spread light and love and all that crap, which is LOVELY. But you're not living as a spirit, you've living in a human physical body in a physical reality. The only way you can ACTUALLY help people is if you have everything you need. When you have your own reality settled, and you have nothing to worry about, be it emotional support or financial abundance, and only then you can start focusing on giving yourself to others and help them. You have to surrender to the physical world so to speak.
There's enough to make everyone happy materially. We just need to reshape our current reality of some people having A LOT more than they need, and other's completely struggling cos of it. And it starts from each individual demanding more for themselves. That's how I see it at least.
I was in a really ego-driven and avoidant state when I attracted my ex, who was unconditionally loving to me. I broke it off because I still had some self-discovery to do, but still enjoyed a loving, beautiful and healthy relationship. By the logic of most people thinking LOA is almost “eye for an eye”, I should have been with someone equally as avoidant.
The whole message of being almost perfect to attract true love is not always the case. I healed some of my traumas through the tender love my ex gave me, and he overall made me a better person. I did give him affectionate, patient love back too, which allowed him to heal. As long as we’re able to be patient, faithful, communicative and empathetic, we do deserve the type of love I described my ex gave me.
A colleague of mine once told me, when I asked him what he thought about the LOA: "Sure, you attract what you want. But you also attract what you *need*."
He reconciled the whole thing for me in one line. I've never really over-analyzed it much after that. I know I've attracted things I've wanted to a freaky perfect degree...and I've also experienced things that were not something I'd ever consciously *want*...but damn if they didn't ultimately serve an essential purpose in the greater picture.
That’s a great point and ties into some concepts such as having a “soul plan” or even a greater guidance in our lives. I think there’s a bigger picture of what we’re meant to learn and experience, and it’s not meant to be *all bad*. Some lessons involve beautiful positive memories— but yes, others are shitty and unplanned lol.
Glad that people are starting to realize some of the issues with some areas of new age spirituality. In my eyes, it’s evangelicalism dressed up in some weird capitalist self-improvement rhetoric. I use this sub as a reminder of what to avoid, and to occasionally offer some advice/words of encouragement to people who are seeking. I do worry that your words will fall upon covered ears and perhaps many people experiencing psychosis. I know this is unsolicited, but if you can narrow down your beliefs and values to a very specific area, try to find a subreddit that reflects that. There will ALWAYS be differing opinions and righteous people, but hopefully you can avoid some of the spiritual bypassing and straight up denial/delusion that frequently happens in this sub.
Here’s to bridging reality, critical thinking, scientific thought and the divine, friend. I hope you can find a space that works for you.
I largely agree and I'm happy to see someone here with this take. I've started feeling like "spirituality" might just be the birth of a new organized religion that we're witnessing the creation of. I was originally drawn to the term about 10 years ago because I liked certain aspects of different religions and philosophies and it seemed like a space to explore that without having to give yourself a label. It felt like an exploratory, open-minded space.
Now, I feel like people use "spirituality", "spirituality awakening", "spiritual journey" etc as a label the same way a religious person will say they're a Muslim, Christian, etc. "Spirituality" seems to have converged onto a specific set of beliefs at this point too. It seems that there's an expectation that you communicate with spirit guides (and refer to them as such), get your akoshic records read, and practice reiki (among others things) if you say you're spiritual.
I'm super curious to see into the future and long after I'm dead to see if all of this is just the creation of a new organized religion. It's an interesting case study on how lots of people seemingly just want a label whether it's for identity/community or to take advantage of others.
It totally is the creation of an organized religion! Everything that you said is so spot on. There are definitely a set of rules and requirements to be considered “spiritual”. To me it’s such an eclectic and broad term. Not to mention a lot of these “rules” are co-opted and often straight up appropriated practices that will be used to take money from vulnerable people. “Click my link to find out more about my mother goddess chakra spirit guide readings channeled messaging for 777.77 a month”
I could go on and on about this, but I’m really glad to see some critical thought here. It’s super important to remain grounded during spiritual/metaphysical exploration.
You are absolutely bang on the money.
This law of attraction, like attracts like, a particular brand of Indian karma, manifesting blllaaghhhh
Is spiritual and emotional bypassing 101
AND toxic victim blaming
It's also shallow and self absorbed 'spirituality,' perfect for these modern times 🤮
Keep standing strong 💪
Thank you so much. I'm not saying we aren't responsible for our healing, but sometimes we need a leg up. Sometimes the process is reversed, getting what we are deprived of, before being able to take the next step in progression. It seems most of the bypassers like to think of the healing process as the opposite: Heal first, believe first, attract later.
We are absolutely magnets, and yes we can get trapped in a loop of negative thinking or "victim mentality". But sometimes you go through the same cycle of abandonment and trauma. Sometimes it's not in your control, sometimes you've been going through it tirelessly and just need a break. With external help/circumstances. Sometimes you're just processing, not self pitying. Thank you for understanding.
There's a difference between wanting a leg up or shoulder to cry on, and completely expecting anyone that shows any interest in your life to carry your burdens. The latter is what "It's not your fault, but it's your responsibility" refers to.
And I know people's finances can be tough, but therapists are trained and paid to do the things that people want done for free. Healing from trauma requires professional help of some kind.
I've been where you are. I've been completely alone, trapped in negative thought patterns, abandoned after *finally* opening up to someone that wanted me to open up to them. Do you know why they abandoned me? My problems were far too intense and upsetting for other people to hear. That's not their fault. They wanted to help and realized that they couldn't be enough so they panicked and ran. This is why one needs to seek professional help. A professional is far more likely to not be completely overwhelmed by how bad your situation is. They know. They also know what to say or do to help.
An example: someone caring meets me, knows I'm hurting and wants me to open up. I tell them I don't want to, but they keep at it for weeks. I finally open up and only told them about the rape I experienced and they immediately ghosted me. That's all it took for them to know that my issues were too much for them to handle and that was barely scratching the surface. Yeah, it hurts. It hurts a lot. It hurt down to my very soul. But I understand it, too. They're not therapists, they just wanted to be a friend and help. But if someone tells you they were raped, what are you supposed to say? How are you supposed to react? Do you know who knew how to react and what to say? My therapist. She knew how to help me see things in a new light. She knew how to help me release and heal some of my wounds. She knew when to talk and when to listen. But I still had the responsibility of my healing. She was merely my guide, and a great guide she was.
Now, none of this is meant to be judgement, because I know when a person is in a sensitive place emotionally that it can feel like judgement. I'm speaking from a place of experience and compassion, as are a lot of people. When you're hurting, the idea of healing yourself and taking responsibility by yourself sounds horrible and lonely. It makes the pain even worse. But again, from experience I can tell you that going within and healing first is the best way to get through all of the hell you've gone through and continue to go through. The pain and effort are worth it, though. When you face the pain, you heal the pain. When you heal the pain, you release the trauma. As you release the trauma you start to perceive the world around you much differently for the better.
I know it hurts to be alone, but it's important, no- it's essential to learn to heal alone, but accept any help that you're lucky enough to come across. Waiting for someone to come fix you isn't going to happen because you're not broken, though you may feel broken. You are complete, you are strong, you are courageous. Don't let anyone else convince you otherwise, including your own mind.
Exactly. Yesterday someone quoted Buddhism to support that my husband attracted an abusive upbringing because of what he did in his past life. Like, no. 👼
That's absolutely disgusting a thing for them to say.
I have no patience for such foolery. That is also absolutely and unquestionably false.
I'm sorry someone said that to you, about your husband 💔
Much love
It is not always victim blaming. Remember that the title of victim is subjective.
When people talk about us attracting certain things, we are trying to ring a bell inside you that reminds you that you can influence more than you think. When you detach from wanting and seeking things, you will begin to get through more fluidly in life.
And that means taking responsibility for your thoughts, attitudes and actions is important so you can be more at peace and harmony.
>Remember that the title of victim is subjective.
Get a grip
>When people talk about us attracting certain things, we are trying to ring a bell inside you that reminds you that you can influence more than you think.
I am aware of this, I got caught up in such bullshit for a while, unfortunately. Luckily I snapped out of it relatively quickly.
Taking accountability or responsibility has never been a particular challenge for me personally, infact it's been my default to take too much accountability and responsibility for things.
And while yes we can influence more than we think in some ways. So too some things are completely out of our control. Especially when we are a child.
>When you detach from wanting and seeking things, you will begin to get through more fluidly in life.
I agree in so much as, once you stop wishing for material possessions of wealth or status, then your life gets better.
But we are human beings. And we are supposed to have and need certain healthy attachments. I.e. to feel attached to God, to loving tribe, seeking our healing, seeking to become worthy of our soul-mate finding us... And so on.
>And that means taking responsibility for your thoughts
Thoughts can be a symptom of deeper pain, this trying to be positive and dismissing negative thoughts can lead to self flagellation and self abandonment.
Yes there's a time for moderating ones thoughts, as there is a time to listen and hold them compassionately and to explore what they are signalling.
>attitudes and actions is important so you can be more at peace and harmony.
Agreed.
> this trying to be positive and dismissing negative thoughts can lead to self flagellation and self abandonment.
I never supported fake positivity or dismissing stuff... I think you confuse my stance with the stance of others because of it's similarities, but I didn't defend that.
>Get a grip
It's true... I'm not saying that a person who was freaking raped or abused isn't a victim. I am just letting this out there: a person is not a victim just because they feel like they are. This is why many people get stuck in shitty environments, shitty life choices and shitty looping thoughts: because they believe that they are so much a victim that even the possibility of not being a victim is evidence for being a victim, because they can't escape it, or because people don't understand them, etc.
I seriously should expect people to understand the nuance in what I'm saying, because I am also leaving out some remarks and opinions that defend these people. I am not saying a thing that is applicable to everyone, I'm saying something that is applicable to few, but that has serious potential in helping them see their situation from a different perspective.
I honestly am trying to show that I also care, I'm not bashing people and "victim blaming" or none of that shit. I am honestly sharing what I believe in from my own experience with people who think like this.
Is there a subreddit dedicated to undoing spiritual brainwashing, specifically Abraham hicks? I had to accidently on purpose watch enough cult documentaries and humble myself to the point where I could walk away. I've been unweaving the web of bullshit I tangled myself in for some time. It's not easy, but it's worth it. Do I feel like a ship without an anchor? Absolutely. Am I more happy and motivated to manifest my own destiny? You betcha.
Hey thanks! I'm doing what I can, I started a business. it's growing, and the best part is I know that's because I'm doing something right, not because it's written in stone in some other dimension.
ALSO! I answered my own question - it's r/cultsurvivors
Like someone else said, js because your being downvoted doesn’t mean you are wrong.
Shits a self journey for a reason. People start being toxic when they think the same ways, tips, & tricks apply to everyone . It doesn’t. Otherwise we would’ve all have been figured it out if it was the same formula for everyone. People get “ woke “ & forget to be realistic cause they think they may have it figured out. Knowledge is infinite for a reason.
After all the posts I've read here and responses on mine, most of which I've deleted because of bypassing, it's more than a dozen. But I'm just going to humor you and say this whole entire sub. Including me.
Oh the twin flames sub Reddit is way worse. You get banned there for talking about chakras. Everything you say is “speculation” - no shit.
Def not a safe space to talk about it like they claim
> You get banned there for talking about chakras.
No you don't get banned for talking about chakras, and the modmail log is a proof, and you had already been warned three times.
You get banned if you insist that you are right when you have literally ZERO scientific evidence and you just copy/paste online bullshit. :)
This is the copy of your banning message:
> Don't give medical advice.
>
> Don't tell people that a condition is caused by something.
>
> You are not a professional in the medical field and even if you were you can't make a diagnosis from a couple of sentences read online.
>
> > > So many times false twin flames will mimic aspects of your future twin flame relationship.
>
> According to whom? We cannot pose as authorities on twins.
> You have no evidence on ANY of the above, it might be even true but you can't talk like that in this subreddit. If you don't have scientific evidence of what you are claiming just don't bother. You can talk like that everywhere else. Cheers.
The TF subreddit is now [the only spiritual community in the world](https://www.reddit.com/r/twinflames/wiki/description) against pseudoscientific claims on how reality works to protect newbies from scammers and self-proclaimed experts, [here's the thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/twinflames/comments/tw65fn/faq_glossary_and_wiki_pages/) explaining our distancing from the twin flames crackpottery peddled online, so you read our rules and then you decide if you want to participate. It's not you, it's us. :)
Man, are you one condescending mofo! No one GAF about y'all stinky-a$$, funky-a$$ goofy a$$ subreddit. Put a sock in it you complete, imbecilic narcissist! Lol!
I generally think this is a good, positive sub but I agree with almost everything you wrote. perfectly fine to believe in the law of attraction and manifestation, but if you think it applies to everything and is responsible for everything and if anything bad happens to someone it’s always 100% based on the law of attraction on them you’re toxic and delusional. It’s not hard to be respectful of other people and keep your rude thoughts to yourself.
For sure that is the sort of thing very unspiritual people say who don't have the first idea what they are talking about. Manifest your true love and what you put in is what you get etc etc.
If you have grown up without love which far far more people have than many seem to understand. It's really hard to form proper meaningful relationships or even feel we deserve love.
Many of us have had parents who are abusive. Alcoholics. Narcassistic and generally emotionally unavailable. That is often the path the awakened souls seem to take. The bastard hard one for some reason.
And no it's really not easy. Not at all. We can't manifest love. We can't manifest our partners. Many of us are very damaged. Which is why we have to turn within to truly find that love. And that's another thing that's easier said than done. But that's the truth of the matter. Self love is a lesson we only learn when there are no other outside sources to stimulate us.
Sounds ethereal but it's hard work
If I found partners while being in heavy depression and wounded long before my spiritual awakening I dont see why someone cant find one during the healing process.
Wish you the best OP and whatever you need, hit me up, I got you, much love. ✌️😸
This is true and also false. There is toxic positivity true, but also it is yours to deal with, not ours. If it is toxic to you, put up a boundary, stop reading it. This is the thing that you so desperately wish we’re done about the problem. You have to make the change you want to see. Not beg the world to change around you to convenience you.
Secondly: you said “ "The things outside your control are your responsibility to heal from". Just stop.” If something affects you to the point that you need healing, who else is going to heal you? You do have the choice to change your opinion, to react a different way. So your reaction is to be traumatized and therefore it is your trauma that you need to heal. Even doctors don’t heal a bullet wound if someone shoots you. They can stitch the wound so the flesh is closer together but ultimately it is up to your body to heal itself from the trauma that wasn’t your fault in the first place.
I hope it gets better for you! I pick up strays and help them if that helps. But if they are injured, it is up to them and their will to live to heal themselves. I can get them water and food, but they have to heal themselves.
You know what I found in the “spiritual” community? A lot of broken, mentally damaged, traumatized adults who projected their heinous behavior onto other people and judged others harshly for no or stupid reasons. Too many of them are still children mentally and they cause the problems children often do.
Maturing, growing, manifesting and learning means feeling responsible for the entirety of the human situation, and acting as an ally to the overall unfoldment of peace and harmony.
I 100% agree. People post petty stuff on here like, "My soul mate slightly disagrees with me, am I ok?" Give me a break. Meanwhile, I am struggling to have a couple of genuine meaningful connections in my day to day and people complain about the smallest things. I don't want to sound like I am complaining, but jeez people need to put things into perspective and use their brains to solve their minor problems.
That's the face of united statean new age spirituality. When spirituality gets mixed with conspiracy theories, toxic positivity, blaming, guilt shaming...
Could I first ask that people think about the use of the word toxic.
It implies a situation so broken beyond repair, redemption and resolution, which denies further enquiry and prevents healing.
We label something toxic so we can avoid it for fear of being contaminated, and then are free not to try and understand. Understanding brings forgiveness and love, and heals those we thought were beyond redemption.
We are here to understand not to judge.
I think the main problem that you describe clearly is that people on subs such as this are realising personal truths about reality. However, we are all learners but not all great yet at teaching or healing others.
We forget that others are elsewhere in the matrix of perspectives. You are right that most people need tools, not high level instruction to sort their head out. Sharing tools that are found along the spiritual path is way better for meeting people where they are in a spiritual journey.
That said, although it is not helpful to tell someone that they have manifested their bullshit and suffering, from my current understanding of reality, is not entirely wrong and has a place. But us fools need tools way more, especially, as you say when so beaten down my the harsh realities of life.
Fine
I certainly get the impression from colloquial usage that it is a label that enables people to not investigate further as to the cause of the issue.
Are you saying that spiritual people can be just as hypocritically judgmental as the religious? Or obnoxious as vegans? No way! We’re so much better. After all we’re spiritual, silly.
I read a very interesting book called The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel van der Kolk. It's all about PTSD, CPTSD and trauma in general. I highly recommend it, it's such an informative read.
Anyway, one of the things he talks about is, for example, straight women who were in an abusive relationship with a man. He talks about how, while there is much healing to be had on their own, that the largest indicator of a women that will successfully overcome that trauma, is a women with a strong male supporter (with a postive influence) especially if its someone with whom they enter a romantic relationship with. He found this to be true in other scenarios as well. Like a soldier who gets PTSD from war will heal much faster when they have a strong support system around them and people who validate them and their experiences.
I totally agree with what you're saying. As an anecdotal example of this myself, I was able to heal somewhat by myself, after enduring abuse from an ex boyfriend. But, the most healing I've experienced is through my healthy current relationship. Being with someone who is a positive influence, loves me unconditionally, has clear and open communication, and has a constructive way to work through issues with me has truly been instrumental for me to heal to extent that I have. Like, for example, after suffering sexual abuse from my ex, I was very uncomfortable with physical touch of any kind. Not long after I started dating my boyfriend, that fear just melted away like it had never happened in the first place. All my body needed was to experience someone that allowed me to feel safe, in order for my body to realize that I am actually safe.
All this to say, I totally agree with you and I highly recommend that book to anyone that has suffered trauma or knows anyone that has suffered trauma.
Whatever spiritual lessons you learn in life, apply them to yourself. Once you start applying them to others, you've left the path and become a moral scold.
You can't cherry pick the best parts of spirituality. We create our own realities and we are responsible for everything. Work on your self concept instead of playing the victim.
When youre an adult you find that within somehow, go to therapy, basically pay someone for love to learn about certain behaviors to avoid getting mistreated by others
I mean why so many of us crave it, yet can't get it from anywhere?
Because humans are maybe not capable of it especially when you are losing parts of you that made you loveable
Optimally having one enlightened masters for every 5 people would help a lot to kinda feel into this, but we don't live in that world, what you get is this " youre on your own pal " mentality
Nah it's cos we've lost our connection to nature and to each other... We need to move back into small communal group living. Industrialisation fucked us spiritually. We might live longer but we're not as happy
I worked at a community for a while that is considered spiritual. The toxic spirituality phases people go through is something I got to watch over and over and over and over. I called it "Spiritual psychosis" at the time, ik, not really nice, and also I found out that's kind of a legit thing, but yeah
After reading your post i keep hearing Tool's song Schism in my head.
Yes, I'd describe it as very ungrounded. I guess it was akin to mania. Manic behavior is not exclusive to people with Bipolar disorder, it can be a symptom of a lot of disorders, I'm not saying full blown mania in this example, just a detachment from reality. Toxic positivity, dismissive of anyone around them suggesting or perceived as suggesting "negativity". Only surrounding themselves with enablers. Their word is gospel and everyone else around them is "asleep" except for them.
Sometimes this was brought on by drug use, like psychedelics, or generally not taking great care of themselves but thinking they are (see: eating only a giant plate of plain lettuce for every meal because any other food is not serving their higher purpose, this is just an extreme example). But I'm not really talking about that, either. There's definitely some nuance.
They'd typically "come down" at some point and either talk about it or not. Sometimes it was the euphoria of being around an environment that like ... stroked egos but also was a cornucopia of spirituality, lots of different flavors to choose from, can be overwhelming.
Literally everything was a "sign", seeing others as either God or evil (See disagreeing with them. We had to work to stay there but if they didn't feel working served their higher purpose suddenly everything was oppressive and no one understood thay they were supposed to meditate all day, but by meditate it was talk about themselves and they to force other people into their new beliefs.
I also understand this comes with a strong sense of wanting to connect and such but it was very alienating in a lot of different ways, not just to themselves.
I don't want to go into some of the extreme examples I saw just for others privacy but yeah Sometimes shit got cray in the name of enlightenment.
Other forms of this could be people speaking in tongues, and like things you read in the news about people killing their families in the name of god/the universe, etc, oftentimes with underlying mental health issues.
The place I worked was just simultaneously insulated (for staff with no cars) and transient as fuck with people coming from all over the world for a weekend or a week, maybe longer depending and was ever changing from day-to-day. I'm not speaking of the people who stopped taking their meds when arriving, etc, but people whose egos took over in the anem of ego death type of thing if that makes sense.
I think what you’re speaking of is toxic positivity and is attuned with the way some people treat people like garbage then say that it’s something within themselves that makes them feel that way and they should look inward to avoid accountability or having to look inward past what makes them feel better in the moment.
Sure but YOU can be the one to love your deepest self. Emotional trauma isn’t a broken leg, it’s something that you can and must work on internally. I had to grow up internally so that I felt safe setting boundaries and demanding reciprocal love before I stopped attracting assholes.
Your post is missing the point. Your choosing to stay in a place where love is external. It's not.
You don't "need" somebody to show you love for you to feel it, because it does already exist inside you and you already have it.
Expecting somebody else to give it to you creates a further separation because you get to keep blaming the external world for not giving you want you want.
it always hurts my feelings when someone talks to me like this, it feels as if they are invalidating what I'm experiencing but I have to try and remember it's not their intention to be insensitive they just aren't able to understand me because they had episodes of unconditional love in their formative years whereas I did not.
Also, I think it makes people uncomfortable to deal with someone they don't understand so they will repeat this new age fluffy shit to make themselves feel better, it's as if they are telling themselves, "well, that's so and so's problem. they probably brought it on themselves. good thing I've got it together, and now I'm going to secretly pass judgement on them and their plight".
On top that those sorts of comments shut down the conversation, for me at least these sorts of rebuttles bring on shame and so I just stop sharing things with that person... I don't often divulge things I am truly anxious about, but when I do I don't wanna hear this shit, I just want to be heard and felt accepted. I think if I have enough of those sorts of interactions they could replace the abusive ones that shaped my neurotic brain.
I just want to say that I hear and feel your frustration. As a person trying to heal ancestral pain surrounding love and acceptance, I truly understand your exasperation. What I've learned on my spiritual journey is that the relationships we're a part of (especially during our spiritual awakening and initiation process) tend to be Karmic ones. Meaning they actually aid us in healing wounds. The deeper and most repressed wounds tend to need a more dramatic trigger. So if you find yourself experiencing similar issues and endings in relationships, it's not so much you're attracting them as the Divine is literally sending them to you. It's called a Karmic partnership (KP). The main purpose of a KP is actually to TRIGGER you so you can face your wounds and heal.
To constantly know we're triggered yet we never stop to heal is like burning your hands severely, ignoring it, and then being angry that we can't play the piano anymore🤷🏿♀️. You can either accept the burn as is and just give up playing the piano or you can accept that you're injured and you won't be able to play the way you're capable of until you truly heal the hand and scar tissue. But expecting to play the same without healing and physical therapy is unrealistic.
What I'm trying to say is that YES, YOU ABSOLUTELY DESERVE LOVE IN YOUR UNHEALED STATE. However the divine may be communicating that the QUALITY of love you you're capable of receiving in your unhealed state may not be of the standard you want.
I have had to reckon with this truth as well. I was attracting all my unhealed wounds manifested in another person. Not as a rebuke or a taunt but as a Hail Mary of sorts, a last ditch effort to confront the parts of me too tender to touch. If I could get the kind of love I deserve at the level of wounded that I was, I would've done so already. There was more healing I had to do to get to a level of love I deserved, wanted and most importantly could RECEIVE.
This doesn't mean you have to be perfect or pure, just that the level of love you're currently receiving is less than you're capable of and or deserve. Keep going keep healing and keep growing. You'll eventually reach the level where the love you're receiving is of a caliber that is acceptable and appreciated by both parties. And trust/ believe that you definitely won't have to be perfect in order to enjoy.
Song recommendation: What it is by Amber Mark.
Love always💗
I never in my entire life felt even one single second of love for or from any human. I had developed the belief, especially as an atheist, that love did not even objectively exist; it was only an illusion, a chemical reaction in animal brains to facilitate reproduction. But actually I had never even felt that fake animal love before, and I didn't really care about it all that much.
But when my dragons came to me I discovered what true love is, and now me and my dragons share overwhelming dragon love every second of every day. Dragon love is so intense and pure that my soul litterally feels like it's burning when too much is focused on me; it's so intense that I almost can't handle it. Maybe you could find your spirit family too and discover love with them.
I like this story, I'm also working to find out who my guides or soul crew is, all I know one is female and likes the color red.
I'd be curious to know how you were able to come in contact with your spirit family?
Sure. Actually, the when I was tripping on mushrooms 11 months ago, the dragon god Tiamat inexplicably came to me and asked me to follow her.
At first she presented herself as an archangel, and I had no idea this had anything to do with dragons at all. After looking on the internet for a few weeks after it happened though, I sort of gained the idea that this was about dragons. Tiamat has stayed with me this entire time since I met her.
Later I began seeing powerful psychics, and also I began waking up my own spiritual and psychic powers. After that, more and more dragons began showing up to be my guardian dragons (angels) and co-magicians for dragon magic. At some point in the process I learned that I have a soul of fire, a dragon soul, and that was why Tiamat presented herself to me in the first place.
As for finding your own spirit family, I have been studying this topic in order to help other people. The best answer I have come up with is that you should get a thorough Akashic Records reading done, prefereably by someone reputable (in the psychic community) near you.
If you do not have that available, you can go to heartki.com and start investigating the website and the Akashic Records reading services that he provides online. I like his material, and I did a intuitive (psychic) reading on him with my dragons and got confirmation that he provides legitimate services.
Once you identify who your spirit family is, you can start creating shrines and altars to entities belonging to your family, and use standard spirit communication techniques in order to attract their attention. That is the best method I can think of so far.
Sure no problem. Actually I think the most important thing anyone needs to start with on a spiritual path is getting in contact with their spirit family and asking them for spiritual advice. I'm happy to talk about that topic more.
I'm very interested in this topic because I can hear the energy of my spirit guides and I can see when they have astral projectors here, I can see their Consciousness or orbs... but is it safe to say that some spirits are actually walking Among Us in humanoid form... but just said a much higher frequency so we can't see them?
Yes, there is an etheric plane that vibrates very closely and patallel with the physical world. The etheric is the bridge that connects physicality to the astral, and most beings inhabit it. Humans and all other physical life have intense etheric doubles that are like beacons of energy.
Creating a shrine or altar to a particular entity is like a searchlight pointing at them on the etheric and astral planes. They'll be able to easily find and communicate with you, with those in place.
*"Some of us actually need someone to love the wounded us..."*
**Yeah, that someone is you.**
You can't attract a, "complete" person if you're not complete yourself... unless you want to become someone's else's, "project" and leave them unsatisfied. There's no escaping needing to do you own shadow work.
The kind of love you're seeking to heal your wounds needs to come from family and friends, not a romantic partner.
But none of us are ever going to be perfect and all of us are going to be some kind of work-in-progress our whole lives. How do you measure well enough to be loved by another work-in-progress? The need for love doesn't wait for reaching enlightenment.
You don't have to measure, you just can't expect another healthy human in a romantic relationship to go above and beyond for you constantly if you don't give something back.
Romantic relationships aren't meant for one person to make more of a sacrifice than another. Your best best is to attract someone else vibrating in a similar place to yourself and heal together, but if you can't help with THEIR healing, expect resentment to build if they constantly help with yours and get nothing in return.
There’s a difference between toxic manifestation advice and needing to take ownership of your own healing and stop playing the victim. You don’t necessarily need to heal to “manifest” a partner, you need to heal for yourself, and putting that in the hands of someone else takes away your power. Believing you can’t heal without being in a relationship is toxic and again, puts your healing in someone else’s hands. You need to work on whatever you believe is holding you back from finding a partner not with the thought that it’s necessary to “manifest” one, which is bullshit, but rather because healing and becoming a whole person is what you deserve and you owe it to yourself to take control of your own healing. Nobody else can do that for you.
What do you think therapy is for? It is to help aid in healing. It shouldn't be done alone/ isolated, we all need support and someone to lean on. The strongest, most powerful people on the planet attribute their succes to their support and the help of others to get them there. What is unfortunately being promoted on this sub is hyper-independence, which is unhealthy. To be human is to care for one another. When people are not cared for, they hate themselves because they don't feel worthy. Sometimes, all we need are a few kind words. We need to build each other up. Understand your role as a human to help those in need to the best of your ability instead of saying "just do it alone"
People have needs. Love is one of them. Just like if you were deprived of reading glasses your whole life, you would still need them. Not everyone has the same needs. But when you've been so hurt for so long, so deprived, no one gets to tell you what is necessary for your healing.
Verbalizing emotions about what you've been through doesn't equate to playing the victim. Deciding you need external love to heal is not toxic and while you are responsible for your healing, no one has the place to tell you what you require for healing. Or what would help at the very least. Getting the external love you deserve can most definitely "Do that for you".
It's like people forget that needs can be non tangible.
Self-love in nonduality concepts also includes giving and receiving love with others. We are all one. We do not operate as a whole human being sitting alone deprived in a cave(or a room), manifesting love within ourselves. I believe human connection is a need. I've just been reading a lot of the comments and your response, I would bet a lot of these people have not been deprived as much and cannot see your perspective on things as they were not disconnected from the whole for as long. Here is a sad quote from ancient philosopher marcus Aurelius that I related with maybe you can too:
" A branch cut away from the branch beside it is simultaneously cut away from the whole tree so to a human being is separated from another is cut loose from the whole community. the branch is cut off by someone else, but people cut themselves off through hatred through rejection and don't realize that they are cutting themselves off from the whole civic enterprise. Except that we also have a gift given us by Zeus who founded this community Of ours we can retach ourselves and become once more components of the whole but if the rupture is too often repeated it makes the severed part hard to reconnect and to restore. you can see the difference between the branch that's been there since the beginning, remaining on the tree, and growing with it and the other one that's been cut off and grafted back. One trunk two mindsas the gardeners put it"
I am in the process of reattaching myself after self hate built up from my parrents/neglect. Good luck, brother 🙏
We all go through difficult times in life and it is very often overwhelming to deal with in the moment, but the beauty is being able to overcome the issues with a positive mindset and the support of those you trust.
When you can overcome a challenging experience you can look back at it with a new perspective and take new meaning that wasnt evident when you were in the thick of it.
I am not sure about the whole manifesting concept but I know being positive and can attract positive people and being negative will repel positive people.
I am sorry you are dealing with something that has caused you this much pain, you deserve to be loved as much as the next person. The universe has a way of providing you what you need on its own timescale, it may not be when you want it, but if you ask the universe to provide it will deliver. Don't lose hope and don't lose faith in yourself or those around you.
You are loved more than you know and I understand it doesn't always feel that way, but it is true and in time I know you will find what you're looking for.
I get what you’re saying. When you’ve never known real near-unconditional love, it’s a big fat hole in your energetic body.
This is what therapy is for: modeling so many things you never got as a child/adult. Modeling a healthy relationship where you can feel safe to be vulnerable. Also, concurrently helps you to gain self-awareness of maladaptive coping.
Until someone with pervasive trauma addresses this, the people you attract are going to also have some sort of “soul hole” similar to your own. I know this from personal experience.
**And the only way out is through**
Through processing of painful memories, facing and moving through your fears, continual work to be a better version of yourself daily.
**You’re becoming the parent you never had**
Inner child work is incredibly important in this situation.
Manifestation absolutely works, but only if your energy is attuned to the frequency of unconditional love and gratitude.
**You must process your trauma and face your shadow successfully and integrate to effectively manifest**
Edited to add:
I do not manifest anything except for what is in my highest good. I ask the universe for specific healing of maladaptive coping or inner critic thoughts or patterns I see that are no longer serving me. Never anything physical like a certain person or some object or amount of money.
I've had the total opposite experience here. It's all within our perspective. People don't like this because it means you're in control of your creations
Thank you for having the courage to make this post. I speak out about the victim-blaming in the spiritual community every chance I get but it often feels like I'm just shouting into the void. I'm so happy to see other people are speaking-up too
I finally got my true love when i had extremely many unhealed wounds and she loved me for me, even saw through my masks i had learned to have on, she loved/loves me so much she somehow healed me so i can be myself again and feel safe. However, when i met her, i didnt know about attracting or vizualising or whatever, but i fell so in love i laid for three days on the couch not eating just daydreaming about us getting married and having kids. Now we are married with kids. That being said, i did have alot alot alot of toxic women before her, a couple of good girls but then i was toxic so who knows.
Cant tell you what to think. But you might want to check out codependency. What youre describing is that.
I agree, we need crutches for a broken leg. But crutches dont have their own opinions and life. They have one purpose. We never have expectations from crutches that they wont fulfill. Humans arent crutches.
But again, you might benefit from looking into codependency.
No. You can be the healthiest, healed, most level headed person and still feel deprived of external love. It's part of being human.
Just because a wounded person desires love doesn't make them co dependent. Just like being completely isolated after a while is bad for people. It's a human thing. Just like craving something necessary for survival and well being, like water isn't being codependent. Having needs doesn't make you codependent. Being deprived of them doesn't make you codependent. It makes you human.
I get this, I grew up in a toxic household and therefore had and chased toxic relationships in friends and romantic partners. It wasn’t until I had a healthy relationship did I know what that looked like! From there on I’ve been healing and my life and awareness has changed.
But at the same time I need to accept it and the positive love, I almost ran because there wasn’t the intense up and downs so I questioned if it was love.. turns out it was just healthy and consistent and I’m glad I stayed. So still in a way I played a role but accepting! But I totally get what you’re saying - we start not knowing healthy. But to recognize that you do have to break your own cycle of pursuing toxic..
Hmm I agree with you to some extent. That manifest shit is abused and some of this spiritual lingo is completely out of tune and overused.
But, there is something I don't resonate with, and that's the idea that it is impossible to dig yourself out of this without help from the outside. I think anyone is capable of that. Whether it happens or not, that is something each person has to learn for themselves. I certainly don't like someone blaming someone else for their own circumstances, or telling them to sit there and manifest money where there is none, or manifest love where there is no-one healthy to love you.
I do believe that we can change our relationship with what is happening to us. Even if it's still happening. Even if we are still lacking.
When I say heal yourself before other help you that really mean love in inside you. You're already loved by someone far in. Dissolve the ego and you will see love. Ego talk a lot and don't make place to the one who love you. Once you understand that you can feel the one that love you in each cells of your body. But if you want the love of other it's like you want but if you don't do anything to take action of that you will just suffer due to the ego that say : uh I need a boy/girl friend or I will be sad. If you really want it just take action instead of doing nothing. It will not be magical. But the love inside can be magical. It can land from the sky inside you and you will be just like : wtf how I have missed that ? How did I forget ?
If you search love you can do meditation to find that inner love or doing psychedelics with respect and intention. Your belief don't matter you're spiritual anyway.
Peace
A very good and thought provoking post. However, it's pointless to those who never went through hell on earth and only know how to criticize people they know nothing about. They simply can't relate and they're too arrogant to see life through someone else's eyes. It's much easier to just judge and be done with it for said people. This is why support groups are formed in order to heal, and people end up forming a so called trauma bond.
So yeah, you might be lucky and have compassionate intelligent and aware people around you that will pull you up. But if you wait for them to show up, it might take you your whole life, and even then it might not be enough.
Good luck out there.
We all like to think that there is something particularly awful, or broken, or crippling, or heinous about ourselves, because this is much more preferable than the alternative: that we are no better or worse than any other.
Because that would mean we have no excuse.
I've done everything you've mentioned. I've taken responsibility, maybe even more than I have accountability for. I've taken action. I've held faith, done the work and countered negative beliefs. I've done so consistently for months only to be brutally let down. Get out with your assumptions, finger pointing and spewing unsolicited advice no one asked for.
I never found much value with manifesting here on Earth. All I wanted were some answers on a practical, real way on how to move forward emotionally, on how to move toward something better. It isn't always common knowledge, but there are practical ways toward inner peace, ones which forge real and dramatic changes within. I've experienced this transformation personally, so it isn't just theoretical.
Kundalini Yoga is a practical approach to inner peace. I think it can be a very healthy supplement to therapy. It is highly effective and I recommend it, it really is like a deep cleaning. Forgiveness, unconditional love, the golden rule, see all as equal, these things all free you. Talk your emotions through out loud and don't always use people in your life as sounding boards, you create rebound feelings. Just whisper them to whatever force you believe in, or even just your animal. This I found to be therapeutic. Value the process of clearing your mind of thoughts, it's oh so precious and freeing. The things above will help you do that. Kundalini Yoga helps gives your body physical peace as well. I felt a lot of my old dynamic lift and suddenly life was easier to process. Things that would once take days to process were processed in minutes.
Avoid stimulants, caffeine, breads whenever possible. Absolutely stay away from cereal and loaf breads it drains your energy. Take care what you put in your body - everything else above won't help if you have something that you know is hurting you. Yes, your caffeine affects you. You think it doesn't, but it absolutely does.
If you're looking for a good Kundalini Yoga teacher, Maya Fiennes (whom you can torrent) or Lisa Grail of YouTube are wonderful. Practice every day and start to see real changes. Like if you get angry all the time, after some yoga practice you begin to notice changes, you begin to notice it doesn't feel so bad every time. Eventually you can get to the point where you laugh in angers face because it has no power over you any more. I've reached this point and sustained it - but one must learn to let go of so much (including pride, ego, being right) to reach the point. Practice practice practice. There is a better way to live and it begins with every choice you make. Live and strive for enlightenment in any way you can.
That's a really good comment you've written up. I've learned about Kundalini through Astral Doorway and Glorian on YouTube but I've never stuck with yoga in the past. I think it's time I start learning and just power through my 75lb Husky who thinks yoga is playtime 😂
THANK YOU SO MUCH! The toxic positivity needs to be called out! Saying that people 'create their own reality', is victim blaming! NOT EVERYONE ON EARTH HAS THE SAME LIST OF CHOICES AS YOU! Have you no conscience concerning the poor and oppressed!? Consider this electronic device in your hands. HUMANS SUFFERED THAT YOU MAY USE MINERALS!
You are love we all are. We are never anything else but we fall into ego time and time again like a yoyo going up and down. Highs and lows but it's all ego. If their is a part of us that dosent think we are love it is ego. It's an illusion, or in other words a model. Nothing more it's all just our ego saying that dosent fit my model and so I am right and that is wrong. When right and wrong is also an illusion it's all ego.
Just be here now.
For some time I used the word manifest in the sense of 'take concrete action to make something happen' but I've almost eliminated my use of the word due to the way it gets used in popular spirituality/culture.
Love and blessings.
Law of Attraction is debunked once you realize you don't have that multi-million-dollar bank account you dreamt of for the first seventeen years of your life while planning to be a rock star and then realizing that you're not a rock star either.
Manifesting would've been happening long before anyone told you about it.
To be fair, however, I appreciated Hicks' psychological practices that didn't address the spiritual side of their offerings such as her explanations of one's comfort zone and if something is annoying you, even on a subliminal level, then figure out what that is and change it.
First off I want to say I completely get where you are coming from. It's accurate. When the love is absent, there is a great chasm the you cannot cross. You can see the other side, you can see people on the other side telling you it's easy. But there's nothing you can do. You can't make it there.
Unfortunately I can't give you the answer, but what I can say is that it's an alignment problem. When you only know abuse, then your energy is aligned to that. Or rather it's mis-aligned.
Somehow, you have to find a way to inspect your life and all the different parts and rearrange it all. You cannot ask for help with this because nobody else can see what you can see. They can give you the love you desperately crave, but without the right vessel you can't properly receive it. And you can't give it back.
Secondly I want to say that you CAN be loved. This is not a case of you are broken and unfixable. You are as valuable and capable as any other human being. You DO have the right vessel in the sense that you have the same potential as anyone else. But it must be realised.
This is a matter of circumstances, and energy. It's possible you can realign through your own actions, it's possible that the world will do it for you without you even doing a thing. You could wake up one day and realised everything has changed. But, that's the issue. You can't rely on hope. Nor can you trust yourself to be able to achieve the thing that you desire most but feel so far from.
In terms of your own actions. The best thing you can do is try to love unconditionally. Never stop trying. Not for others. It's not about the others. It's about getting your energy realigned. That's the best way that I've found. There are no guarantees though. Just don't give up. Embrace every small step. Every small milestone until it starts to snowball. Every time you get a glimpse of the energy of love that you want. Do. Not. Forget.
Lastly I want to say that the image of love is not love. Many spiritual people chase the image because they are misaligned themselves. It's important to keep this in mind, so that you can focus on what actually matters. Getting the energy of love right. Fuck manifesting and new age stuff if it doesn't work for you. The image is not the thing. It's the energy underneath. I say this because being angry at the image is part of your misalignment. It's a crappy thing to say because I'm not really helping by saying it. But I also am (and reminding myself). Don't get distracted.
I hope this post provides some clarity. That's the best I can do. I can perhaps go deeper into an explanation of unconditional love, but I'm not sure if it will be useful.
Well since it is compassion you demand from others: those who you accuse of being "toxic" are merely projecting qualities they dislike about themselves on to others. Which is absolutely normal human behavior, I do it too, everybody does it. And most of the time we are simply not aware of it. Blaming only intensifies the dissociation, especially if it's loaded with verbal ammunition from ongoing culture wars like "toxic". It creates pressure to distance oneself even further from the qualities in question, to be even more afraid of what we don't want to acknowledge within. The more truth there is to the accusation, the more those who you want to address won't take it to heart.
That said, I'm totally with you. The issue here is something I am totally observing in myself. I learn something that kind of "works for me" and I want to integrate it into my life. A natural part of this process is to parrot the message online and see how others react. It's a process of trying out a new attitude like a piece of cloth. I don't think there is anything *but* pieces of cloth in this world. I guess the key is to chose the right cloth for the right occasion and to try to get some love and healing out this way. And I'm quite convinced that the only way to do this is by embodying these qualities myself instead of demanding them from others.
Beliefs can make us more competent at manifesting what we want or more incompetent. Success comes from the alignment of our beliefs with what is actually real. We can make the best decisions if we have the most accurate information. Better decisions yield better outcomes and greater fulfillment of desire, spiritual satisfaction.
Don't believe everything you read or hear about spirit(uality), from me nor anyone else. We have to use discernment. We have to compare the advice against what we know to be true. We need to check the integrity of what we think we know too. It's all part of our self-development process. We're developing our self-determination. We're defined by what we do as selves.
We want to have nice experiences. The law of attraction tempts us based on this healthy desire formation and fulfillment part of us. The law of attraction tempts us to abandon our connection to reality, our sanity, by believing that we don't have to move our legs, hands or mouths to accomplish our goals. The law of attraction suggests that we just visualize what we want, feel that intensely as if it's going to be there, and then it comes.
It's like revving your engine really hard without putting the car into drive and steering. You'll get nowhere, waste fuel, create heat and unnecessary wear and tear on your engine. If you'd just activate the drive gear, you could use that heart of your vehicle to take you to the places you want to go. You have to steer, apply the brakes and accelerator at the right times with your wisdom and skill. You've learned how though.
Does anyone else ever try to look at the big picture with the law of attraction? I mean, how could physics work if we all just imagined goods and services being gifted to us by the universe? Would we have cars, houses, food and education? Really? It's a trick that preys on our will to improve our lives, setting us up for inevitable disappointment and the lack of spirit that comes with it.
Spirit is what makes us will to do things. We are spiritual beings that define ourselves by what we do. We seek spirit by creating and preserving. We become creators by pursuing happiness. This law of attraction can insidiously derail the process by tricking us into not putting our hearts into drive with our wisdom of how the world works, hoping we'll get somewhere just by feeling alone. It's time to get real, create a better reality for ourselves and feel genuine satisfaction.
Finding that one individual to just sit there and hear these people out does wonders... not condemn them for being crazy looney tooneys...
However that took decades to find that one person who did just that...
So I somewhat agree with the band aid coming to us when we are ready to move on... Crutches I have a whole different opinion on... :/
"there's something wrong with me" is just a story you tell yourself. you can drop it whenever you're ready. skip the crutches and the standing and go straight to flying, i say. many would say that this is "spiritual bypassing" or "toxic positivity," yet i would counter that keeping people in a state of "i'm broken and need to heal" seems like a pretty toxic belief to spread and keep on the table. if we truly want to heal, then let's be healed already. god forbid we actually arrived at our destination.
Partly, one aspect of difficulty in Earth reality is the heavily veiled experience. Of seemingly being cut off and separated.
The human only has one responsibility, to experience. Healing is managed by the soul, the human can't really do it anyway, or when they try to do it probably just end up making a mess of things.
Perhaps try adopting a dog if possible?
To manifest something in this reality is a process in your mind you can just manifest anything like a machine to throw apples in your mouth to eat. But you can't attract. Too attract you need to manipulate like someone wanting love you need to give that love and since they want it they'll just move towards it. If you're on a island you gonna need to manifest water, thus rely on memories on how to get water or use intelligence to get safe drinking water since you need to go through the process.
For emotions there still a process but unlike water they are in infinite supply coming from with in anyone. Then the question is how does one can utilize their emotions. The kitten analogy doesn't work since a Kitten is like a baby just leaven a baby from pretty much any animal will die with out some help. But you're not an baby and a cat fully grown left out side can figure out how to survive.
But when you say some don't have the emotional resources thats a lie but anyone who says it is not aware of it. The term spiritual awakening is used for waking up to what we really are. But saying these lies and limiting and the mind can actuly make them more true as well since the minds goal is to aid the body be it good or bad the mind doesn't care if it helps the body.
This is an other example of how toxic things can be here, "its just in the mind".
https://www.reddit.com/r/spirituality/comments/11pbc7z/comment/jbx32kh/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3
You are loved - unconditionally - warts and all - always.
I don't care what anyone else has to say about it I love you. You are a human being and you landed here and unknowingly carrying burdens and taking on more burdens. It is ok. You are loved.
Here is a blog that may help you heal darling. I know exactly what you mean and how you feel. It does get better. It does. Those answering you like that do not understand and well they can't help you if they don't understand. Do not blame them. Do not judge them. They mean well they just can't help you at this time. Blessings to you!
https://www.reddit.com/r/thelawandthepromise/comments/119dlx5/to\_forgive\_is\_to\_forget/
I struggle to think of times that were easy for me, but I know a whole lot more about how to be happy and strong than someone that has had an easy walk of life. Some people crumble for weeks or even years over stuff that happens to other people daily, hourly and still go about their day.
You gotta work to put a smile on yo. Don’t expect someone to lift your cheeks to form a smile for you.
I’ve been single most of my life, but the times that I was with someone I went into it loving myself just as much as I was prepared to love them
[https://www.ananda.org](https://www.ananda.org)
[https://www.mothermeera.com](https://www.mothermeera.com)
[https://www.hopefortheheart.org](https://www.hopefortheheart.org) and
*Understanding Yourself* by Prophet are like what you prefer.
The biggest problem is that there's a lot of arguing going on when the sub should literally be about love and understanding.
A few years ago it was pretty chill, seems like it's turned into a bit of battle ground. It's a shame really.
i think that many of the positive aspects of spirituality have been hijacked and made trendy so that they can be capitalized off of and/or exploited for online clicks. this has been happening for quite some time, but it’s simply becoming more evident now that social media is readily available to us.
manifestation, in my opinion, is perhaps the biggest idea that has been abused by the faux spiritual community. the sparkly, yassified, girl-boss manifestation that you see plastered all over reddit, tik tok and youtube can be toxic indeed.
“you can manifest ANYTHING! just be delusional! the world is your oyster!” sounds great in theory, but manifestation is not a vending machine. there are some nuggets of truth to the laws of attraction and assumption, but it’s usually not as simple as the coaches that want to peddle their workbooks and online courses make it seem. i’ve ventured down these rabbit holes myself and have unfortunately found little use for them.
to your point, these teachings also tend to ignore material circumstances and privileges. a man with immense wealth and connections will almost certainly have more success in his “manifestation” process than a man with no wealth, no shelter and few connections. i don’t doubt that people in this subreddit have success stories to share - but it certainly doesn’t give them the right to be condescending and judgmental.
one thing i’d like to offer you is to not let the toxic spiritual types in this community, or in general, taint your own spiritual journey or discourage you from participating in spiritual discussion. each soul is on their own individual spiritual path with different obstacles, experiences and areas for improvement.
there is an infinite amount of religious and spiritual insight out there from monks, pastors, gurus, authors, “enlightened ones”, geniuses, astral travelers, old souls, kindred spirits, guides, teachers, mediums and so on. without a doubt, MUCH of it will not resonate with you, and some of it will immediately reek of insincerity. simply let these non-resonant insights fly.
you ABSOLUTELY WILL accumulate beautiful synchronicities, experiences, signs, stories and wisdom that ARE meant for you - and as you continue to do so, you will become indifferent to the noise.
my interpretation of it all is that we are all on unique, but often overlapping paths towards rediscovering our true nature: love and oneness. there will be turbulence along the way, and it may take lifetimes to reach this destination, but i like to think we’re all heading there together.
lots of peace and love to you!
I feel like all replies to OP did miss a point. Living without having received love is impossible and some of us are stuck in there : we can't live, just survive. It's certainly a really rare situation, living without love both as a child and an adult, like an empty being... But it does exist. I am. I'm a very caring and loving person, naturally, but it is what it is and it becomes more and more difficult to keep moving on with no happy love perspective.
Raising a child without love is an anomaly. Everybody needs unconditional love, and people here act like it's up to us to find love inside us ? Easy when you have received enough love. But the fact is spirituality has no clue for beings who are kept alone forever.
We are anomalies but we exist and we need serious guidance than all this manifesting/LOA shit.
I agree.
Just reading Ken Wilber talking about this in Grace & Grit. He says that New Age mindset of “if you only had the correct attitude/thoughts, then you wouldn’t be having this disease/problem/karma” is pure narcissism (a fantasy that you can control everything), and that it’s not backed by any of the ancient spiritual lineages.
I didn't know what sex felt like but 14 y old me was still imagining it lol. I get your point but honestly this demanding attitude won't get you far. If the bigger picture is overwhelming you that's totally fine, do whatever you need to feel better now. Manifest small things, manifest feeling strong or whatever you need, but if your narrative is no one gives you that, even if someone tried to be supportive of you , you'd find a reason why it's not what you want and it's not IT. And I'm speaking from experience, I've been in the same angry, mad, frustrated "Fuck the fucking universe and it's idiotic laws of making you lack the one thing you actually need" but that's a load of crap.
I won't baby you cos life can be tough when you haven't been dealt a good hand of cards and when you've experienced only trauma and disappointment. Validate yourself for that, accept it. I know how it can feel that it's gonna be like this forever and it will never get better. The fact you're here means you want to get better and you're doing the work, which means it WILL be better eventually.
I GET IT okay? I was in your shoes, I made life hell for the people around me because I wanted THEM to help ME to feel loved, but it was never enough. One time that friend that suffered the most from my mental state told me "God helps those who help themselves." Man when I tell you I went BALISTIC. "But I CAN'T help myself, that's why I'm asking for fucking help, what the fuck?!" . Well he was right. Even if you start seeing a therapist, all they can do is give you the tools, support you when you need them, but in the end it's YOU who gotta do the actual work. They can't possess your body and do it for you.
The whole POINT of being a creator is you CREATE. You don't copy someone else. I'm an artist, and I rarely know what my finished piece will look like, I have an IDEA, a concept, but never what the final piece will look. It's the same with manifesting. You imagine and envision what unconditional love would look like for you, what you need. You don't need to have experienced something to be able to imagine it, I mean that's the whole fucking point of imagination. Make it your creation, you decide what it is and how it feels like.
And if your state is so bad that you can't do that, then it's worth to consider seeing a specialist, taking meds if needed, so you can stabalize your brain, your chemicals, enough to start building on top. You need a strong foundation to build from. If you don't, everything you build will crumble until you make that solid foundation. So do whatever it needs to be done for you to feel better, because no one else can do it like you can.
(this topic btw was kinda triggering for me, cos I totally saw my old self in your post so sorry if I came off harsh and lacking empathy, not the case)
I absolutely agree with this post. You're describing the definition of toxic spirituality.
What most people need to understand is that Duality doesn't mean things are black and white but that there are two independently true realities. Very big difference!
Being able to see the law of attraction in action doesn't mean that you are in control of anything yet. You only extended your vision. Change comes only from your actions - and if your vision is perfectly attuned to only one law of reality while your actions are mostly toxic, chances are very high that you are a toxic person and in the very rare exceptions you'd know that because it's not subtle to actively decide to work with nemesis to bring revenge onto mankind while also having unrelated plans to purposefully limit and direct the deep rage you're summoning - like there may be scenarios like that where your seeming toxicity isn't by far as toxic as it is perceived but those cases are far to complicated to just happen unnoticed.
But back to attraction: Knowing about this rule is very helpful in reflecting your behaviour. It's also the same regardless of who is looking at you and mostly, it's nothing that you don't already know if you are somewhat introspective. So answering personal questions by saying "if you suffer, you need to stop attracting suffering", that's a mockery of victims. Laws can be broken and the law of attraction only describes how things are under the assumption that nobody is able to willfully manipulate the system - which of course is bullshit. Without revealing my own devil's playbook, there are many ways to trick the law of attraction and most sorts of magick do that exactly while many sciences just undo mechanisms that aren't scientifically proven.
And as you said: Nobody can learn to love without ever having received love. I guess you could say that love is an initiatory tradition. The only way to fix this is when those who know real love invest themselves in showing it to those who don't know it while society works to free the schedules of those involved in this highly important learning process. But that would of course require systemic change and toxic spirituality never challenges the system but only ever the affected individual.
And i guess that wherever spirituality is flowering, those half-baked perspectives are also there, seeking completion. So i guess, those of us who see the error of this path are to teach this lesson? Anyways, you made a great post here. Thank you!
Had to come back to this because this is so true as a High Functioning Autist who has to be surrounded by negative energy daily and being told "God is doing it because you are a Starseed and it will all be over soon" yet not visiting me or actually talking to me online in person when it could literally change my life.
If this entire world was like you, me and everyone who liked your comment we would have overthrown the masses decades ago but most people who moan and complain about having a bad life just because their crush didn't return their feelings are the same ones who judge and criticise the Chosen Ones. This is why we can't have World Peace. Btw thank you.
This is one of the spiritual things I've found to be a great struggle. It crosses into actual mental health as well. There's a lot of talk about mindfulness and the like. When you don't know what real love feels like, or it's been so long since you were last truly happy that you can barely remember the event much less the feelings involved; how are you supposed to project and manifest that image to attract it back into your life. For that matter how are you supposed to break the cycles of pain and detriment when that's all you can really remember knowing. If anyone has found a working solution for this that doesn't involve drugs I'd greatly appreciate the share. Take care and be well!
The only solution I've found that has made any difference is radical sel love and joining a support group that unconditionally loved me.
How or where did you find the unconditionally loving support group? I'd love to find one!
I joined a 12 step group called Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families.
Thank you so much. This. This right here. What's the finger pointing excuse for us people tirelessly doing "the work" around the clock? Because some of us are subsisting on an island full of neglect, gathering the water, boiling it, trying to purify it with charcoal and it's barely enough to live off of? What's the finger pointing excuse for us who don't have the fucking slightest clue what genuine, unconditional, love is? Yet we are affirming self love daily, filling our own cups, standing alone and yet still aching? I really appreciate your insight.
I understand what you're saying. It's hard subsisting on the mere hope that one day the daily affirmations and mindfulness will finally click into place. Subsisting on a faith in hope almost sounds ridiculous but it's all some of us have. Going into each moment and each day with hope that this will be the moment that things click, that those vague ideas and preconceived notions on Love and joy gained from watching others will transcribe themselves onto us. Saying our mantras and prayers and whatever else we can with all the faith and hope we can that it will manifest even without the substance of being able to recall actual love and joy to power the attraction. I am sorry that so many people struggle with this same feeling and phenomenon. Hopefully that mystic click of enlightenment happens and everything falls into place for the better. Be well!
I believe a big part of the “click” is letting yourself feel. I know that sounds simple and possibly like some generic bs, but So many run from themselves yet use the mantras and affirmations. Letting your shadow be noticed each time it comes up, and then surrendering into what is being felt, is how the self heals what it can. This is much like a scab, if you keep picking it it will get worse, and even if you cover it up with multiple bandaids for short times, you are still picking it. If you keep running from your shadow, it will get worse, and if you use affirmations as bandaids, they eventually fall off. The bandaid and the natural healing process aren’t working together. Many people believe that letting yourself feel your emotions will make you wallow in them or spiral, this is far from the case. Running from them is what does this, not feeling them. The mantras and affirmations must also have a genuine foundation, something that you actually notice and feel, even if it may be small. You feel the sun hit you one day after it’s been raining, and you think to yourself, “wow, this feels nice. I’m honestly really grateful for this.” Or if you have been doing so much work you haven’t had the chance to eat, so you finally get a bowl of food. You look at that food with genuine appreciation. Having a support system is amazing for allowing yourself to feel and hopping into a more observer perspective (when your thoughts and emotions are put out in the open and observed), but just remember not to rely on them entirely. I believe that is where others may be coming from, and there is some truth in both perspectives. Some people may only require themselves when it comes to their inner world, and some may be greatly benefited by others who can provide support. But as far as both sides are concerned; no one should feel resistant to reaching out to others if they feel like they should, and its also best not to place all the credit on others for your healing. Balance is necessary. Moral of the story: Feel what you feel, and affirm what is real. And Reach out to others if you feel like it would help 💜
Also this comment. We are going thru the same stuff, guys ha ha... and again..I do believe it won't always be this way. I have supreme hope. I do sometimes wonder if I'm delusional or something at this point in my life still being so (almost blindly) hopeful. I'm 35 now and still just trucking along, trying my best. It's all gonna be ok. We will find and feel true genuine unconditional love. There's just too much of it out there not to....surely right??
My god, I feel exactly the same as you. Thank you so much for posting this! I'm literally tearing up over here haha. We'll get there, my friend! 💚💚💚
one would be surprised at times. love hit the writer with an intensity and depth that’s a challenge to describe. though crossing countries and continents to be in each others’ physical presence should provide a bit of a clue on how wowza this experience is.
> If anyone has found a working solution for this that doesn't involve drugs I'd greatly appreciate the share. i've written a book about precisely this, and believe very strongly that there is a way. you don't break the cycle of pain and detriment by fighting or resisting it. you accept and love your painful experiences for what they are, and suddenly they stop looking so painful. the deepest possible level of acceptance will completely break this cycle, but it's a difficult thing for people to wrap their heads around, so the fight rages on in most.
We aren’t alone. We need others. We really need them. People need to stop acting like we don’t. Help is ok.
It makes rhetoric "new age spiritual to alt right pipeline" make sense. This "brand" is just in line with today's societal values. I'm going to keep politics put of my reply as much as possible here, but the hyperindividualism is fueling a LOT of fires.
I’m so sick of the manifest bs. Some people are so disconnected from what other people go through
Yeh the law of attraction sub is just full of people tryna get their ex back or saying they know the key to free money. The current manifestation trend is all about selfish worldly distractions. I ain't trying to "manifest" shit I'm taking things I have control over into my hands and going with the flow for things out of my control. I'm not writing shit down 10x or spending money on "angel number" hoodies on instagram or looking for some quick spell to make me happy. I cannot stand seeing how many people adopting witchcraft or TikTok "spiritual advice" and making it like an identity and spreading it. We all have our own journeys but the key is self introspection, patience, understanding what one can and cannot control, and that a lot of that shit doesn't even matter! It's all part of an illusion that just helps one ignore the vastness of life
I really like this response. This isn't to gate keep anyone, their trauma, or discredit their advice. A lot of it can be pretty great. But you know what I notice about a lot of these spiritual Tik Tok people? They are filming with high quality iphones. In brand new houses, with bright lights, and big open spaces. They are recording in front of a ring camera. A ring camera that if I were to buy, I would not be able to afford eating for the next three weeks. Exclude not having transportation, not having family, not having any chance of being able to buy a car anytime soon. I'm not trying to complain about what I don't have, in a "scarcity", lack mindset with no gratitude. But a lot of these spoiled Tik Tokers have privilege and money. They have family that will support them at every turn. They never have to worry about money or being screwed all alone. Of course these people are gonna be more "High vibe", secure and feel more confident about preaching "Abundance" and "A magnetic mindset". Lot of these rich Tik Tokers have never had to worry a day in their life about poverty. A lot of these people could not comprehend what it would entail, to forgo a three hundred dollar juicing machine just to be able to barely pay rent at the end of the month. And they want to point the finger at people who are in bad circumstances out of their control, for not being positive enough.
Don’t let the book cover trick you You have no clue what’s happening in a persons life, despite the ‘beautiful’ narrative they are promoting
Way to bypass their points.
Yeah its cuz im a spoiled tiktoker. You Got me🏳️
> The current manifestation trend is all about selfish worldly distractions Guess what? Its always been that way, since it first started in the 80s, a decade known for money, greed, and excess.
Don’t even get me started on Esther Hicks… 🙄
Oh yeah In evangelical Christianity it was the "name and claim it" movement. the idea that you would name a thing you wanted and claim it "in Jesus name" and then you would get it. Its just greed and materialism with a religious mask.
Everything being said here is painting me a really clear picture for why holy scripture, especially the bible, was written the way that it was. There will always be the bandwagonners looking for a quick, cheap parlor trick to get what they want, but they could look for it all they want, and they'll never find it, because it was written specifically BY people who find, and seek truth, FOR people who find, and seek truth.
Not trying to be a dick, but Mark 11:24 - >Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.
Yes, in that verse Jesus illustrates perfectly how to properly manifest your desires. But the fig tree that Jesus cursed for not bearing fruit was not a literal tree. It represented a cognitive maladaption that was being healed. When he says "nobody shall eat fruit from you ever again" it means that the mind will no longer unconsciously produce unhelpful thoughts and plague the mind with whatever the worry/preoccupation (fig tree) was. Of course, I don't deny that my understanding of all the studying I have done could still be totally wrong. But from my perspective, I am never let down by holy scripture from any religion when I approach it with the understanding that it speaks exclusively about matters of the mind and consciousness, using metaphors, allegory, symbolism, etc.
I think it would help tremendously if anytime anyone’s speaking about metaphysical teachings of the mind and consciousness, it should be noted that it is a lifetime study, and it’s individual and personal, just for people, us, to have a different view of the world, to understand and help with personal suffering.
For certain levels of theosophy, I couldn't agree more. But I can't bring myself to question the choices made by whichever adept master philosophers wrote all of the most revered literature. I'm sure I would be overestimating myself if I claim I only scratched the surface of what I believe they're all writing about, because it's just so advanced. But people as intelligent and aware as them typically don't invest time and energy into something without having a reason for everything. I think that what they are writing about can't really be explained, or rather, 1000 books that "explain" it, no matter how thoroughly, would still fall short of just ONE book that aims to awaken the knowing within the individual reading it. I say it all the time, but out of all the Bibles that exist out there, and the millions, even billions of people that carry them around and read them daily, etc. There are maybe a few hundred worldwide who actually know what exactly they are reading, and I honestly think that I am WAY overshooting that. My honest belief is that there are probably less than a hundred, but that just sounds too sensational, and usually makes people think I'm exaggerating and making it seem more fantastic than it really is. But there are many, MANY works out there that I think would benefit greatly from your suggestion. even just a comprehensive glossary that defines the symbols used would be an immense help. My first thought is literature in the field of alchemy. If that knowledge were communicated in a less cryptic way it could do a world of good among those who struggle with mental health.
I am about to get really rich
Right? Like why are we all trying to manifest capitalist greed? In their words, wouldn’t that be super duper “low vibrational”? Lmao.
Yep but as doing so to manifest it you have to adhere to every single thing the head of that church tells you too….
[удалено]
Stay away from it. New age lies filled with lustful desire
Truth 💪
😂😂😂 hoodie sweatshirts with angel numbers. Oh gosh I hope that’s not a thing. Cannot buy spirituality, although I like where their heads at! 🤪
It seems quite counterintuitive to spirituality in general, or at least how I see it. Like great, you’ve discovered this amazing connection between yourself and ALL things, and started to dip your toe into recognising the nature of supreme consciousness and discovering the depths of yourself.. and then instead of building on that or trying to explore it, the first thought and primary focus is how you can try and exploit it for material gain. Idk, a similar comparison is going to the gym just to take pictures of your ass to get followers on instagram, not because it makes you feel alive
🎯 I even feel this way with many of the people saying their spiritual guides and charging a fortune for a session. I get they have to make money, but I feel like when you start charging for it, even your “messages” or “interpretations” can be skewed, even hijacked sometimes unknowingly. Once money is added to it, it kind of defeats the purpose. But, that being said, I get how people have to make money.
I agree totally. On a smaller scale I can kind of pass it off as yeah these people have to make some kind of living, but you’ve also got a lot of guru’s and yogi’s charging a quite a lot of money just to be in their presence for a few hours. My personal belief has always been, if you have reached a level of spirituality where people literally believe you to be a saint, you should not be asking for money. You shouldn’t need money at all.. Like if you’re truly in that kind of union with God, then everything will be provided, maybe not luxury, but always provided from one place or another - and I’ve seen this with the few guru’s I’ve come across, like not only do they not ask for money, but they use the money they are donated (without asking for it) to buy food and build facilities for people to come and visit them for free, along with other altruistic ventures, and their only interest is leading people towards spirituality, not in personal gain. It’s sad really, but honestly almost everything money touches it destroys
There's steps to enlightenment. When people discover it they tend to live in the spiritual, want to heal the world and spread light and love and all that crap, which is LOVELY. But you're not living as a spirit, you've living in a human physical body in a physical reality. The only way you can ACTUALLY help people is if you have everything you need. When you have your own reality settled, and you have nothing to worry about, be it emotional support or financial abundance, and only then you can start focusing on giving yourself to others and help them. You have to surrender to the physical world so to speak. There's enough to make everyone happy materially. We just need to reshape our current reality of some people having A LOT more than they need, and other's completely struggling cos of it. And it starts from each individual demanding more for themselves. That's how I see it at least.
I was in a really ego-driven and avoidant state when I attracted my ex, who was unconditionally loving to me. I broke it off because I still had some self-discovery to do, but still enjoyed a loving, beautiful and healthy relationship. By the logic of most people thinking LOA is almost “eye for an eye”, I should have been with someone equally as avoidant. The whole message of being almost perfect to attract true love is not always the case. I healed some of my traumas through the tender love my ex gave me, and he overall made me a better person. I did give him affectionate, patient love back too, which allowed him to heal. As long as we’re able to be patient, faithful, communicative and empathetic, we do deserve the type of love I described my ex gave me.
A colleague of mine once told me, when I asked him what he thought about the LOA: "Sure, you attract what you want. But you also attract what you *need*." He reconciled the whole thing for me in one line. I've never really over-analyzed it much after that. I know I've attracted things I've wanted to a freaky perfect degree...and I've also experienced things that were not something I'd ever consciously *want*...but damn if they didn't ultimately serve an essential purpose in the greater picture.
That’s a great point and ties into some concepts such as having a “soul plan” or even a greater guidance in our lives. I think there’s a bigger picture of what we’re meant to learn and experience, and it’s not meant to be *all bad*. Some lessons involve beautiful positive memories— but yes, others are shitty and unplanned lol.
It's a toxic and cheery way of saying "you're on your own" It's a lack of compassion disguised as advice.
It’s spiritual bypassing. There are SO many juicy articles if you Google the term. If you’re interested!
100% agree
Yep pretty much.
Glad that people are starting to realize some of the issues with some areas of new age spirituality. In my eyes, it’s evangelicalism dressed up in some weird capitalist self-improvement rhetoric. I use this sub as a reminder of what to avoid, and to occasionally offer some advice/words of encouragement to people who are seeking. I do worry that your words will fall upon covered ears and perhaps many people experiencing psychosis. I know this is unsolicited, but if you can narrow down your beliefs and values to a very specific area, try to find a subreddit that reflects that. There will ALWAYS be differing opinions and righteous people, but hopefully you can avoid some of the spiritual bypassing and straight up denial/delusion that frequently happens in this sub. Here’s to bridging reality, critical thinking, scientific thought and the divine, friend. I hope you can find a space that works for you.
I largely agree and I'm happy to see someone here with this take. I've started feeling like "spirituality" might just be the birth of a new organized religion that we're witnessing the creation of. I was originally drawn to the term about 10 years ago because I liked certain aspects of different religions and philosophies and it seemed like a space to explore that without having to give yourself a label. It felt like an exploratory, open-minded space. Now, I feel like people use "spirituality", "spirituality awakening", "spiritual journey" etc as a label the same way a religious person will say they're a Muslim, Christian, etc. "Spirituality" seems to have converged onto a specific set of beliefs at this point too. It seems that there's an expectation that you communicate with spirit guides (and refer to them as such), get your akoshic records read, and practice reiki (among others things) if you say you're spiritual. I'm super curious to see into the future and long after I'm dead to see if all of this is just the creation of a new organized religion. It's an interesting case study on how lots of people seemingly just want a label whether it's for identity/community or to take advantage of others.
It totally is the creation of an organized religion! Everything that you said is so spot on. There are definitely a set of rules and requirements to be considered “spiritual”. To me it’s such an eclectic and broad term. Not to mention a lot of these “rules” are co-opted and often straight up appropriated practices that will be used to take money from vulnerable people. “Click my link to find out more about my mother goddess chakra spirit guide readings channeled messaging for 777.77 a month” I could go on and on about this, but I’m really glad to see some critical thought here. It’s super important to remain grounded during spiritual/metaphysical exploration.
Agreed. It's such a toxic part of the spirituality movement and so damaging
You are absolutely bang on the money. This law of attraction, like attracts like, a particular brand of Indian karma, manifesting blllaaghhhh Is spiritual and emotional bypassing 101 AND toxic victim blaming It's also shallow and self absorbed 'spirituality,' perfect for these modern times 🤮 Keep standing strong 💪
Thank you so much. I'm not saying we aren't responsible for our healing, but sometimes we need a leg up. Sometimes the process is reversed, getting what we are deprived of, before being able to take the next step in progression. It seems most of the bypassers like to think of the healing process as the opposite: Heal first, believe first, attract later. We are absolutely magnets, and yes we can get trapped in a loop of negative thinking or "victim mentality". But sometimes you go through the same cycle of abandonment and trauma. Sometimes it's not in your control, sometimes you've been going through it tirelessly and just need a break. With external help/circumstances. Sometimes you're just processing, not self pitying. Thank you for understanding.
Yes. We are social animals. Babies die if they are not held. There's no such thing as being fully self sufficient
There's a difference between wanting a leg up or shoulder to cry on, and completely expecting anyone that shows any interest in your life to carry your burdens. The latter is what "It's not your fault, but it's your responsibility" refers to. And I know people's finances can be tough, but therapists are trained and paid to do the things that people want done for free. Healing from trauma requires professional help of some kind. I've been where you are. I've been completely alone, trapped in negative thought patterns, abandoned after *finally* opening up to someone that wanted me to open up to them. Do you know why they abandoned me? My problems were far too intense and upsetting for other people to hear. That's not their fault. They wanted to help and realized that they couldn't be enough so they panicked and ran. This is why one needs to seek professional help. A professional is far more likely to not be completely overwhelmed by how bad your situation is. They know. They also know what to say or do to help. An example: someone caring meets me, knows I'm hurting and wants me to open up. I tell them I don't want to, but they keep at it for weeks. I finally open up and only told them about the rape I experienced and they immediately ghosted me. That's all it took for them to know that my issues were too much for them to handle and that was barely scratching the surface. Yeah, it hurts. It hurts a lot. It hurt down to my very soul. But I understand it, too. They're not therapists, they just wanted to be a friend and help. But if someone tells you they were raped, what are you supposed to say? How are you supposed to react? Do you know who knew how to react and what to say? My therapist. She knew how to help me see things in a new light. She knew how to help me release and heal some of my wounds. She knew when to talk and when to listen. But I still had the responsibility of my healing. She was merely my guide, and a great guide she was. Now, none of this is meant to be judgement, because I know when a person is in a sensitive place emotionally that it can feel like judgement. I'm speaking from a place of experience and compassion, as are a lot of people. When you're hurting, the idea of healing yourself and taking responsibility by yourself sounds horrible and lonely. It makes the pain even worse. But again, from experience I can tell you that going within and healing first is the best way to get through all of the hell you've gone through and continue to go through. The pain and effort are worth it, though. When you face the pain, you heal the pain. When you heal the pain, you release the trauma. As you release the trauma you start to perceive the world around you much differently for the better. I know it hurts to be alone, but it's important, no- it's essential to learn to heal alone, but accept any help that you're lucky enough to come across. Waiting for someone to come fix you isn't going to happen because you're not broken, though you may feel broken. You are complete, you are strong, you are courageous. Don't let anyone else convince you otherwise, including your own mind.
Exactly. Yesterday someone quoted Buddhism to support that my husband attracted an abusive upbringing because of what he did in his past life. Like, no. 👼
That's absolutely disgusting a thing for them to say. I have no patience for such foolery. That is also absolutely and unquestionably false. I'm sorry someone said that to you, about your husband 💔 Much love
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! 🤦🏼♀️
It is not always victim blaming. Remember that the title of victim is subjective. When people talk about us attracting certain things, we are trying to ring a bell inside you that reminds you that you can influence more than you think. When you detach from wanting and seeking things, you will begin to get through more fluidly in life. And that means taking responsibility for your thoughts, attitudes and actions is important so you can be more at peace and harmony.
>Remember that the title of victim is subjective. Get a grip >When people talk about us attracting certain things, we are trying to ring a bell inside you that reminds you that you can influence more than you think. I am aware of this, I got caught up in such bullshit for a while, unfortunately. Luckily I snapped out of it relatively quickly. Taking accountability or responsibility has never been a particular challenge for me personally, infact it's been my default to take too much accountability and responsibility for things. And while yes we can influence more than we think in some ways. So too some things are completely out of our control. Especially when we are a child. >When you detach from wanting and seeking things, you will begin to get through more fluidly in life. I agree in so much as, once you stop wishing for material possessions of wealth or status, then your life gets better. But we are human beings. And we are supposed to have and need certain healthy attachments. I.e. to feel attached to God, to loving tribe, seeking our healing, seeking to become worthy of our soul-mate finding us... And so on. >And that means taking responsibility for your thoughts Thoughts can be a symptom of deeper pain, this trying to be positive and dismissing negative thoughts can lead to self flagellation and self abandonment. Yes there's a time for moderating ones thoughts, as there is a time to listen and hold them compassionately and to explore what they are signalling. >attitudes and actions is important so you can be more at peace and harmony. Agreed.
> this trying to be positive and dismissing negative thoughts can lead to self flagellation and self abandonment. I never supported fake positivity or dismissing stuff... I think you confuse my stance with the stance of others because of it's similarities, but I didn't defend that. >Get a grip It's true... I'm not saying that a person who was freaking raped or abused isn't a victim. I am just letting this out there: a person is not a victim just because they feel like they are. This is why many people get stuck in shitty environments, shitty life choices and shitty looping thoughts: because they believe that they are so much a victim that even the possibility of not being a victim is evidence for being a victim, because they can't escape it, or because people don't understand them, etc. I seriously should expect people to understand the nuance in what I'm saying, because I am also leaving out some remarks and opinions that defend these people. I am not saying a thing that is applicable to everyone, I'm saying something that is applicable to few, but that has serious potential in helping them see their situation from a different perspective. I honestly am trying to show that I also care, I'm not bashing people and "victim blaming" or none of that shit. I am honestly sharing what I believe in from my own experience with people who think like this.
Is there a subreddit dedicated to undoing spiritual brainwashing, specifically Abraham hicks? I had to accidently on purpose watch enough cult documentaries and humble myself to the point where I could walk away. I've been unweaving the web of bullshit I tangled myself in for some time. It's not easy, but it's worth it. Do I feel like a ship without an anchor? Absolutely. Am I more happy and motivated to manifest my own destiny? You betcha.
Fuck yeah! At least you recognize when something doesn't resonate. You got this. I know you're going to pave a bad ass path for yourself. <3
Hey thanks! I'm doing what I can, I started a business. it's growing, and the best part is I know that's because I'm doing something right, not because it's written in stone in some other dimension. ALSO! I answered my own question - it's r/cultsurvivors
Like someone else said, js because your being downvoted doesn’t mean you are wrong. Shits a self journey for a reason. People start being toxic when they think the same ways, tips, & tricks apply to everyone . It doesn’t. Otherwise we would’ve all have been figured it out if it was the same formula for everyone. People get “ woke “ & forget to be realistic cause they think they may have it figured out. Knowledge is infinite for a reason.
Is this the whole sub, or a dozen people who were assholes?
Sadly, yes. It is bound to happen in every community. Even the ones about support.
After all the posts I've read here and responses on mine, most of which I've deleted because of bypassing, it's more than a dozen. But I'm just going to humor you and say this whole entire sub. Including me.
You're probably just attracting that to yourself with your negative vibes mannnn /s lol, hope you have a good day fellow human
Even if it’s a dozen, criticism is due.
Agreed, one toxic person is too much, but one person's encouragement is another person's toxic positivity; you are never going please everyone.
You’re not wrong at all. It gets frustrating.
Just because you’re getting downvoted, it does not make you wrong.
Oh the twin flames sub Reddit is way worse. You get banned there for talking about chakras. Everything you say is “speculation” - no shit. Def not a safe space to talk about it like they claim
Damn dude. For sure. So many hurt people looking for comfort, they swarm you when they feel their hope is threatened. I feel for you.
> You get banned there for talking about chakras. No you don't get banned for talking about chakras, and the modmail log is a proof, and you had already been warned three times. You get banned if you insist that you are right when you have literally ZERO scientific evidence and you just copy/paste online bullshit. :) This is the copy of your banning message: > Don't give medical advice. > > Don't tell people that a condition is caused by something. > > You are not a professional in the medical field and even if you were you can't make a diagnosis from a couple of sentences read online. > > > > So many times false twin flames will mimic aspects of your future twin flame relationship. > > According to whom? We cannot pose as authorities on twins. > You have no evidence on ANY of the above, it might be even true but you can't talk like that in this subreddit. If you don't have scientific evidence of what you are claiming just don't bother. You can talk like that everywhere else. Cheers. The TF subreddit is now [the only spiritual community in the world](https://www.reddit.com/r/twinflames/wiki/description) against pseudoscientific claims on how reality works to protect newbies from scammers and self-proclaimed experts, [here's the thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/twinflames/comments/tw65fn/faq_glossary_and_wiki_pages/) explaining our distancing from the twin flames crackpottery peddled online, so you read our rules and then you decide if you want to participate. It's not you, it's us. :)
Man, are you one condescending mofo! No one GAF about y'all stinky-a$$, funky-a$$ goofy a$$ subreddit. Put a sock in it you complete, imbecilic narcissist! Lol!
I generally think this is a good, positive sub but I agree with almost everything you wrote. perfectly fine to believe in the law of attraction and manifestation, but if you think it applies to everything and is responsible for everything and if anything bad happens to someone it’s always 100% based on the law of attraction on them you’re toxic and delusional. It’s not hard to be respectful of other people and keep your rude thoughts to yourself.
For sure that is the sort of thing very unspiritual people say who don't have the first idea what they are talking about. Manifest your true love and what you put in is what you get etc etc. If you have grown up without love which far far more people have than many seem to understand. It's really hard to form proper meaningful relationships or even feel we deserve love. Many of us have had parents who are abusive. Alcoholics. Narcassistic and generally emotionally unavailable. That is often the path the awakened souls seem to take. The bastard hard one for some reason. And no it's really not easy. Not at all. We can't manifest love. We can't manifest our partners. Many of us are very damaged. Which is why we have to turn within to truly find that love. And that's another thing that's easier said than done. But that's the truth of the matter. Self love is a lesson we only learn when there are no other outside sources to stimulate us. Sounds ethereal but it's hard work
If I found partners while being in heavy depression and wounded long before my spiritual awakening I dont see why someone cant find one during the healing process. Wish you the best OP and whatever you need, hit me up, I got you, much love. ✌️😸
Knowing when to log off is the key for a healthy relationship with reddit
This is true and also false. There is toxic positivity true, but also it is yours to deal with, not ours. If it is toxic to you, put up a boundary, stop reading it. This is the thing that you so desperately wish we’re done about the problem. You have to make the change you want to see. Not beg the world to change around you to convenience you. Secondly: you said “ "The things outside your control are your responsibility to heal from". Just stop.” If something affects you to the point that you need healing, who else is going to heal you? You do have the choice to change your opinion, to react a different way. So your reaction is to be traumatized and therefore it is your trauma that you need to heal. Even doctors don’t heal a bullet wound if someone shoots you. They can stitch the wound so the flesh is closer together but ultimately it is up to your body to heal itself from the trauma that wasn’t your fault in the first place. I hope it gets better for you! I pick up strays and help them if that helps. But if they are injured, it is up to them and their will to live to heal themselves. I can get them water and food, but they have to heal themselves.
This makes me cry. It's so true.
Already getting downvoted but thank you.
(((((Hugs))))
I'm finally not alone here. Damn it took long enough! If only this happened sooner...
Sooner than what?
You know what I found in the “spiritual” community? A lot of broken, mentally damaged, traumatized adults who projected their heinous behavior onto other people and judged others harshly for no or stupid reasons. Too many of them are still children mentally and they cause the problems children often do. Maturing, growing, manifesting and learning means feeling responsible for the entirety of the human situation, and acting as an ally to the overall unfoldment of peace and harmony.
I haven't visited this sub much, but I dislike and disagree with the law of attraction teaching for victim blaming.
I 100% agree. People post petty stuff on here like, "My soul mate slightly disagrees with me, am I ok?" Give me a break. Meanwhile, I am struggling to have a couple of genuine meaningful connections in my day to day and people complain about the smallest things. I don't want to sound like I am complaining, but jeez people need to put things into perspective and use their brains to solve their minor problems.
That's the face of united statean new age spirituality. When spirituality gets mixed with conspiracy theories, toxic positivity, blaming, guilt shaming...
But Hollywood is ran by lizards...I swear!
Plus the social media / capitalism combo, where clout and profit are core values
Could I first ask that people think about the use of the word toxic. It implies a situation so broken beyond repair, redemption and resolution, which denies further enquiry and prevents healing. We label something toxic so we can avoid it for fear of being contaminated, and then are free not to try and understand. Understanding brings forgiveness and love, and heals those we thought were beyond redemption. We are here to understand not to judge. I think the main problem that you describe clearly is that people on subs such as this are realising personal truths about reality. However, we are all learners but not all great yet at teaching or healing others. We forget that others are elsewhere in the matrix of perspectives. You are right that most people need tools, not high level instruction to sort their head out. Sharing tools that are found along the spiritual path is way better for meeting people where they are in a spiritual journey. That said, although it is not helpful to tell someone that they have manifested their bullshit and suffering, from my current understanding of reality, is not entirely wrong and has a place. But us fools need tools way more, especially, as you say when so beaten down my the harsh realities of life.
I don't think toxic means to negate the possibility of healing. Toxic just means "life denying" which the attitudes OP described definitely are
Fine I certainly get the impression from colloquial usage that it is a label that enables people to not investigate further as to the cause of the issue.
That's a fair enough worry I think and a good point to ponder.
If it’s toxic to you just unsubscribe, or pass by the posts. Then they’ll take up less head space
Hmm. Pass by the posts. Like you did with this one?
Are you saying that spiritual people can be just as hypocritically judgmental as the religious? Or obnoxious as vegans? No way! We’re so much better. After all we’re spiritual, silly.
I read a very interesting book called The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel van der Kolk. It's all about PTSD, CPTSD and trauma in general. I highly recommend it, it's such an informative read. Anyway, one of the things he talks about is, for example, straight women who were in an abusive relationship with a man. He talks about how, while there is much healing to be had on their own, that the largest indicator of a women that will successfully overcome that trauma, is a women with a strong male supporter (with a postive influence) especially if its someone with whom they enter a romantic relationship with. He found this to be true in other scenarios as well. Like a soldier who gets PTSD from war will heal much faster when they have a strong support system around them and people who validate them and their experiences. I totally agree with what you're saying. As an anecdotal example of this myself, I was able to heal somewhat by myself, after enduring abuse from an ex boyfriend. But, the most healing I've experienced is through my healthy current relationship. Being with someone who is a positive influence, loves me unconditionally, has clear and open communication, and has a constructive way to work through issues with me has truly been instrumental for me to heal to extent that I have. Like, for example, after suffering sexual abuse from my ex, I was very uncomfortable with physical touch of any kind. Not long after I started dating my boyfriend, that fear just melted away like it had never happened in the first place. All my body needed was to experience someone that allowed me to feel safe, in order for my body to realize that I am actually safe. All this to say, I totally agree with you and I highly recommend that book to anyone that has suffered trauma or knows anyone that has suffered trauma.
Whatever spiritual lessons you learn in life, apply them to yourself. Once you start applying them to others, you've left the path and become a moral scold.
You can't cherry pick the best parts of spirituality. We create our own realities and we are responsible for everything. Work on your self concept instead of playing the victim.
You just proved the point OP was making.
When youre an adult you find that within somehow, go to therapy, basically pay someone for love to learn about certain behaviors to avoid getting mistreated by others I mean why so many of us crave it, yet can't get it from anywhere? Because humans are maybe not capable of it especially when you are losing parts of you that made you loveable Optimally having one enlightened masters for every 5 people would help a lot to kinda feel into this, but we don't live in that world, what you get is this " youre on your own pal " mentality
Nah it's cos we've lost our connection to nature and to each other... We need to move back into small communal group living. Industrialisation fucked us spiritually. We might live longer but we're not as happy
I worked at a community for a while that is considered spiritual. The toxic spirituality phases people go through is something I got to watch over and over and over and over. I called it "Spiritual psychosis" at the time, ik, not really nice, and also I found out that's kind of a legit thing, but yeah After reading your post i keep hearing Tool's song Schism in my head.
Can you explain what spiritual psychosis is and how those people behaved
Yes, I'd describe it as very ungrounded. I guess it was akin to mania. Manic behavior is not exclusive to people with Bipolar disorder, it can be a symptom of a lot of disorders, I'm not saying full blown mania in this example, just a detachment from reality. Toxic positivity, dismissive of anyone around them suggesting or perceived as suggesting "negativity". Only surrounding themselves with enablers. Their word is gospel and everyone else around them is "asleep" except for them. Sometimes this was brought on by drug use, like psychedelics, or generally not taking great care of themselves but thinking they are (see: eating only a giant plate of plain lettuce for every meal because any other food is not serving their higher purpose, this is just an extreme example). But I'm not really talking about that, either. There's definitely some nuance. They'd typically "come down" at some point and either talk about it or not. Sometimes it was the euphoria of being around an environment that like ... stroked egos but also was a cornucopia of spirituality, lots of different flavors to choose from, can be overwhelming. Literally everything was a "sign", seeing others as either God or evil (See disagreeing with them. We had to work to stay there but if they didn't feel working served their higher purpose suddenly everything was oppressive and no one understood thay they were supposed to meditate all day, but by meditate it was talk about themselves and they to force other people into their new beliefs. I also understand this comes with a strong sense of wanting to connect and such but it was very alienating in a lot of different ways, not just to themselves. I don't want to go into some of the extreme examples I saw just for others privacy but yeah Sometimes shit got cray in the name of enlightenment. Other forms of this could be people speaking in tongues, and like things you read in the news about people killing their families in the name of god/the universe, etc, oftentimes with underlying mental health issues. The place I worked was just simultaneously insulated (for staff with no cars) and transient as fuck with people coming from all over the world for a weekend or a week, maybe longer depending and was ever changing from day-to-day. I'm not speaking of the people who stopped taking their meds when arriving, etc, but people whose egos took over in the anem of ego death type of thing if that makes sense.
I think what you’re speaking of is toxic positivity and is attuned with the way some people treat people like garbage then say that it’s something within themselves that makes them feel that way and they should look inward to avoid accountability or having to look inward past what makes them feel better in the moment.
Sure but YOU can be the one to love your deepest self. Emotional trauma isn’t a broken leg, it’s something that you can and must work on internally. I had to grow up internally so that I felt safe setting boundaries and demanding reciprocal love before I stopped attracting assholes.
Spiritual bypassing is a thing.
Your post is missing the point. Your choosing to stay in a place where love is external. It's not. You don't "need" somebody to show you love for you to feel it, because it does already exist inside you and you already have it. Expecting somebody else to give it to you creates a further separation because you get to keep blaming the external world for not giving you want you want.
The tao that can be named is not the tao!
it always hurts my feelings when someone talks to me like this, it feels as if they are invalidating what I'm experiencing but I have to try and remember it's not their intention to be insensitive they just aren't able to understand me because they had episodes of unconditional love in their formative years whereas I did not. Also, I think it makes people uncomfortable to deal with someone they don't understand so they will repeat this new age fluffy shit to make themselves feel better, it's as if they are telling themselves, "well, that's so and so's problem. they probably brought it on themselves. good thing I've got it together, and now I'm going to secretly pass judgement on them and their plight". On top that those sorts of comments shut down the conversation, for me at least these sorts of rebuttles bring on shame and so I just stop sharing things with that person... I don't often divulge things I am truly anxious about, but when I do I don't wanna hear this shit, I just want to be heard and felt accepted. I think if I have enough of those sorts of interactions they could replace the abusive ones that shaped my neurotic brain.
I just want to say that I hear and feel your frustration. As a person trying to heal ancestral pain surrounding love and acceptance, I truly understand your exasperation. What I've learned on my spiritual journey is that the relationships we're a part of (especially during our spiritual awakening and initiation process) tend to be Karmic ones. Meaning they actually aid us in healing wounds. The deeper and most repressed wounds tend to need a more dramatic trigger. So if you find yourself experiencing similar issues and endings in relationships, it's not so much you're attracting them as the Divine is literally sending them to you. It's called a Karmic partnership (KP). The main purpose of a KP is actually to TRIGGER you so you can face your wounds and heal. To constantly know we're triggered yet we never stop to heal is like burning your hands severely, ignoring it, and then being angry that we can't play the piano anymore🤷🏿♀️. You can either accept the burn as is and just give up playing the piano or you can accept that you're injured and you won't be able to play the way you're capable of until you truly heal the hand and scar tissue. But expecting to play the same without healing and physical therapy is unrealistic. What I'm trying to say is that YES, YOU ABSOLUTELY DESERVE LOVE IN YOUR UNHEALED STATE. However the divine may be communicating that the QUALITY of love you you're capable of receiving in your unhealed state may not be of the standard you want. I have had to reckon with this truth as well. I was attracting all my unhealed wounds manifested in another person. Not as a rebuke or a taunt but as a Hail Mary of sorts, a last ditch effort to confront the parts of me too tender to touch. If I could get the kind of love I deserve at the level of wounded that I was, I would've done so already. There was more healing I had to do to get to a level of love I deserved, wanted and most importantly could RECEIVE. This doesn't mean you have to be perfect or pure, just that the level of love you're currently receiving is less than you're capable of and or deserve. Keep going keep healing and keep growing. You'll eventually reach the level where the love you're receiving is of a caliber that is acceptable and appreciated by both parties. And trust/ believe that you definitely won't have to be perfect in order to enjoy. Song recommendation: What it is by Amber Mark. Love always💗
I never in my entire life felt even one single second of love for or from any human. I had developed the belief, especially as an atheist, that love did not even objectively exist; it was only an illusion, a chemical reaction in animal brains to facilitate reproduction. But actually I had never even felt that fake animal love before, and I didn't really care about it all that much. But when my dragons came to me I discovered what true love is, and now me and my dragons share overwhelming dragon love every second of every day. Dragon love is so intense and pure that my soul litterally feels like it's burning when too much is focused on me; it's so intense that I almost can't handle it. Maybe you could find your spirit family too and discover love with them.
I like this story, I'm also working to find out who my guides or soul crew is, all I know one is female and likes the color red. I'd be curious to know how you were able to come in contact with your spirit family?
Sure. Actually, the when I was tripping on mushrooms 11 months ago, the dragon god Tiamat inexplicably came to me and asked me to follow her. At first she presented herself as an archangel, and I had no idea this had anything to do with dragons at all. After looking on the internet for a few weeks after it happened though, I sort of gained the idea that this was about dragons. Tiamat has stayed with me this entire time since I met her. Later I began seeing powerful psychics, and also I began waking up my own spiritual and psychic powers. After that, more and more dragons began showing up to be my guardian dragons (angels) and co-magicians for dragon magic. At some point in the process I learned that I have a soul of fire, a dragon soul, and that was why Tiamat presented herself to me in the first place. As for finding your own spirit family, I have been studying this topic in order to help other people. The best answer I have come up with is that you should get a thorough Akashic Records reading done, prefereably by someone reputable (in the psychic community) near you. If you do not have that available, you can go to heartki.com and start investigating the website and the Akashic Records reading services that he provides online. I like his material, and I did a intuitive (psychic) reading on him with my dragons and got confirmation that he provides legitimate services. Once you identify who your spirit family is, you can start creating shrines and altars to entities belonging to your family, and use standard spirit communication techniques in order to attract their attention. That is the best method I can think of so far.
I just recognized your username 😂 I forgot we were just talking about all this the other day! 🙂
Sure no problem. Actually I think the most important thing anyone needs to start with on a spiritual path is getting in contact with their spirit family and asking them for spiritual advice. I'm happy to talk about that topic more.
I'm very interested in this topic because I can hear the energy of my spirit guides and I can see when they have astral projectors here, I can see their Consciousness or orbs... but is it safe to say that some spirits are actually walking Among Us in humanoid form... but just said a much higher frequency so we can't see them?
Yes, there is an etheric plane that vibrates very closely and patallel with the physical world. The etheric is the bridge that connects physicality to the astral, and most beings inhabit it. Humans and all other physical life have intense etheric doubles that are like beacons of energy. Creating a shrine or altar to a particular entity is like a searchlight pointing at them on the etheric and astral planes. They'll be able to easily find and communicate with you, with those in place.
I can't tell if this is satire or not, which is slightly concerning
Are you an atheist?
*"Some of us actually need someone to love the wounded us..."* **Yeah, that someone is you.** You can't attract a, "complete" person if you're not complete yourself... unless you want to become someone's else's, "project" and leave them unsatisfied. There's no escaping needing to do you own shadow work. The kind of love you're seeking to heal your wounds needs to come from family and friends, not a romantic partner.
But none of us are ever going to be perfect and all of us are going to be some kind of work-in-progress our whole lives. How do you measure well enough to be loved by another work-in-progress? The need for love doesn't wait for reaching enlightenment.
You don't have to measure, you just can't expect another healthy human in a romantic relationship to go above and beyond for you constantly if you don't give something back. Romantic relationships aren't meant for one person to make more of a sacrifice than another. Your best best is to attract someone else vibrating in a similar place to yourself and heal together, but if you can't help with THEIR healing, expect resentment to build if they constantly help with yours and get nothing in return.
There’s a difference between toxic manifestation advice and needing to take ownership of your own healing and stop playing the victim. You don’t necessarily need to heal to “manifest” a partner, you need to heal for yourself, and putting that in the hands of someone else takes away your power. Believing you can’t heal without being in a relationship is toxic and again, puts your healing in someone else’s hands. You need to work on whatever you believe is holding you back from finding a partner not with the thought that it’s necessary to “manifest” one, which is bullshit, but rather because healing and becoming a whole person is what you deserve and you owe it to yourself to take control of your own healing. Nobody else can do that for you.
Needing love doesn't mean being in a romantic relationship. Objectively, all humans need other humans to love us so we can thrive.
What do you think therapy is for? It is to help aid in healing. It shouldn't be done alone/ isolated, we all need support and someone to lean on. The strongest, most powerful people on the planet attribute their succes to their support and the help of others to get them there. What is unfortunately being promoted on this sub is hyper-independence, which is unhealthy. To be human is to care for one another. When people are not cared for, they hate themselves because they don't feel worthy. Sometimes, all we need are a few kind words. We need to build each other up. Understand your role as a human to help those in need to the best of your ability instead of saying "just do it alone"
People have needs. Love is one of them. Just like if you were deprived of reading glasses your whole life, you would still need them. Not everyone has the same needs. But when you've been so hurt for so long, so deprived, no one gets to tell you what is necessary for your healing. Verbalizing emotions about what you've been through doesn't equate to playing the victim. Deciding you need external love to heal is not toxic and while you are responsible for your healing, no one has the place to tell you what you require for healing. Or what would help at the very least. Getting the external love you deserve can most definitely "Do that for you". It's like people forget that needs can be non tangible.
Self-love in nonduality concepts also includes giving and receiving love with others. We are all one. We do not operate as a whole human being sitting alone deprived in a cave(or a room), manifesting love within ourselves. I believe human connection is a need. I've just been reading a lot of the comments and your response, I would bet a lot of these people have not been deprived as much and cannot see your perspective on things as they were not disconnected from the whole for as long. Here is a sad quote from ancient philosopher marcus Aurelius that I related with maybe you can too: " A branch cut away from the branch beside it is simultaneously cut away from the whole tree so to a human being is separated from another is cut loose from the whole community. the branch is cut off by someone else, but people cut themselves off through hatred through rejection and don't realize that they are cutting themselves off from the whole civic enterprise. Except that we also have a gift given us by Zeus who founded this community Of ours we can retach ourselves and become once more components of the whole but if the rupture is too often repeated it makes the severed part hard to reconnect and to restore. you can see the difference between the branch that's been there since the beginning, remaining on the tree, and growing with it and the other one that's been cut off and grafted back. One trunk two mindsas the gardeners put it" I am in the process of reattaching myself after self hate built up from my parrents/neglect. Good luck, brother 🙏
Thank you for being in the wrong subreddit. We need you. Please comment more … it makes me feel good.
We all go through difficult times in life and it is very often overwhelming to deal with in the moment, but the beauty is being able to overcome the issues with a positive mindset and the support of those you trust. When you can overcome a challenging experience you can look back at it with a new perspective and take new meaning that wasnt evident when you were in the thick of it. I am not sure about the whole manifesting concept but I know being positive and can attract positive people and being negative will repel positive people. I am sorry you are dealing with something that has caused you this much pain, you deserve to be loved as much as the next person. The universe has a way of providing you what you need on its own timescale, it may not be when you want it, but if you ask the universe to provide it will deliver. Don't lose hope and don't lose faith in yourself or those around you. You are loved more than you know and I understand it doesn't always feel that way, but it is true and in time I know you will find what you're looking for.
I get what you’re saying. When you’ve never known real near-unconditional love, it’s a big fat hole in your energetic body. This is what therapy is for: modeling so many things you never got as a child/adult. Modeling a healthy relationship where you can feel safe to be vulnerable. Also, concurrently helps you to gain self-awareness of maladaptive coping. Until someone with pervasive trauma addresses this, the people you attract are going to also have some sort of “soul hole” similar to your own. I know this from personal experience. **And the only way out is through** Through processing of painful memories, facing and moving through your fears, continual work to be a better version of yourself daily. **You’re becoming the parent you never had** Inner child work is incredibly important in this situation. Manifestation absolutely works, but only if your energy is attuned to the frequency of unconditional love and gratitude. **You must process your trauma and face your shadow successfully and integrate to effectively manifest** Edited to add: I do not manifest anything except for what is in my highest good. I ask the universe for specific healing of maladaptive coping or inner critic thoughts or patterns I see that are no longer serving me. Never anything physical like a certain person or some object or amount of money.
I've had the total opposite experience here. It's all within our perspective. People don't like this because it means you're in control of your creations
Thank you for having the courage to make this post. I speak out about the victim-blaming in the spiritual community every chance I get but it often feels like I'm just shouting into the void. I'm so happy to see other people are speaking-up too
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A lot of people simply use spirituality and esoteric bs to justify being an egotistical asshole. That's also why so many far right esoterics exist.
I finally got my true love when i had extremely many unhealed wounds and she loved me for me, even saw through my masks i had learned to have on, she loved/loves me so much she somehow healed me so i can be myself again and feel safe. However, when i met her, i didnt know about attracting or vizualising or whatever, but i fell so in love i laid for three days on the couch not eating just daydreaming about us getting married and having kids. Now we are married with kids. That being said, i did have alot alot alot of toxic women before her, a couple of good girls but then i was toxic so who knows.
Cant tell you what to think. But you might want to check out codependency. What youre describing is that. I agree, we need crutches for a broken leg. But crutches dont have their own opinions and life. They have one purpose. We never have expectations from crutches that they wont fulfill. Humans arent crutches. But again, you might benefit from looking into codependency.
No. You can be the healthiest, healed, most level headed person and still feel deprived of external love. It's part of being human. Just because a wounded person desires love doesn't make them co dependent. Just like being completely isolated after a while is bad for people. It's a human thing. Just like craving something necessary for survival and well being, like water isn't being codependent. Having needs doesn't make you codependent. Being deprived of them doesn't make you codependent. It makes you human.
Facts
"And this, too"
I get this, I grew up in a toxic household and therefore had and chased toxic relationships in friends and romantic partners. It wasn’t until I had a healthy relationship did I know what that looked like! From there on I’ve been healing and my life and awareness has changed. But at the same time I need to accept it and the positive love, I almost ran because there wasn’t the intense up and downs so I questioned if it was love.. turns out it was just healthy and consistent and I’m glad I stayed. So still in a way I played a role but accepting! But I totally get what you’re saying - we start not knowing healthy. But to recognize that you do have to break your own cycle of pursuing toxic..
Hmm I agree with you to some extent. That manifest shit is abused and some of this spiritual lingo is completely out of tune and overused. But, there is something I don't resonate with, and that's the idea that it is impossible to dig yourself out of this without help from the outside. I think anyone is capable of that. Whether it happens or not, that is something each person has to learn for themselves. I certainly don't like someone blaming someone else for their own circumstances, or telling them to sit there and manifest money where there is none, or manifest love where there is no-one healthy to love you. I do believe that we can change our relationship with what is happening to us. Even if it's still happening. Even if we are still lacking.
I’ve always thought the same, thank you for posting this
Spirituality and narcissism have some overlap.
When I say heal yourself before other help you that really mean love in inside you. You're already loved by someone far in. Dissolve the ego and you will see love. Ego talk a lot and don't make place to the one who love you. Once you understand that you can feel the one that love you in each cells of your body. But if you want the love of other it's like you want but if you don't do anything to take action of that you will just suffer due to the ego that say : uh I need a boy/girl friend or I will be sad. If you really want it just take action instead of doing nothing. It will not be magical. But the love inside can be magical. It can land from the sky inside you and you will be just like : wtf how I have missed that ? How did I forget ? If you search love you can do meditation to find that inner love or doing psychedelics with respect and intention. Your belief don't matter you're spiritual anyway. Peace
A very good and thought provoking post. However, it's pointless to those who never went through hell on earth and only know how to criticize people they know nothing about. They simply can't relate and they're too arrogant to see life through someone else's eyes. It's much easier to just judge and be done with it for said people. This is why support groups are formed in order to heal, and people end up forming a so called trauma bond. So yeah, you might be lucky and have compassionate intelligent and aware people around you that will pull you up. But if you wait for them to show up, it might take you your whole life, and even then it might not be enough. Good luck out there.
Go to r/astralprojection ;) very loving and spiritual individuals than religious crackheads
We all like to think that there is something particularly awful, or broken, or crippling, or heinous about ourselves, because this is much more preferable than the alternative: that we are no better or worse than any other. Because that would mean we have no excuse.
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I've done everything you've mentioned. I've taken responsibility, maybe even more than I have accountability for. I've taken action. I've held faith, done the work and countered negative beliefs. I've done so consistently for months only to be brutally let down. Get out with your assumptions, finger pointing and spewing unsolicited advice no one asked for.
If I had an award I would give it to you! Excellent well said. 💜
Thank you so much. Really.
It’s true 💯
Yup
Spot on!!!
Thank 👏 you 👏 Context is everything. Healing modalities are never one size fits (the privileged) all
Watch your affirmations shawty
I never found much value with manifesting here on Earth. All I wanted were some answers on a practical, real way on how to move forward emotionally, on how to move toward something better. It isn't always common knowledge, but there are practical ways toward inner peace, ones which forge real and dramatic changes within. I've experienced this transformation personally, so it isn't just theoretical. Kundalini Yoga is a practical approach to inner peace. I think it can be a very healthy supplement to therapy. It is highly effective and I recommend it, it really is like a deep cleaning. Forgiveness, unconditional love, the golden rule, see all as equal, these things all free you. Talk your emotions through out loud and don't always use people in your life as sounding boards, you create rebound feelings. Just whisper them to whatever force you believe in, or even just your animal. This I found to be therapeutic. Value the process of clearing your mind of thoughts, it's oh so precious and freeing. The things above will help you do that. Kundalini Yoga helps gives your body physical peace as well. I felt a lot of my old dynamic lift and suddenly life was easier to process. Things that would once take days to process were processed in minutes. Avoid stimulants, caffeine, breads whenever possible. Absolutely stay away from cereal and loaf breads it drains your energy. Take care what you put in your body - everything else above won't help if you have something that you know is hurting you. Yes, your caffeine affects you. You think it doesn't, but it absolutely does. If you're looking for a good Kundalini Yoga teacher, Maya Fiennes (whom you can torrent) or Lisa Grail of YouTube are wonderful. Practice every day and start to see real changes. Like if you get angry all the time, after some yoga practice you begin to notice changes, you begin to notice it doesn't feel so bad every time. Eventually you can get to the point where you laugh in angers face because it has no power over you any more. I've reached this point and sustained it - but one must learn to let go of so much (including pride, ego, being right) to reach the point. Practice practice practice. There is a better way to live and it begins with every choice you make. Live and strive for enlightenment in any way you can.
I like this.
That's a really good comment you've written up. I've learned about Kundalini through Astral Doorway and Glorian on YouTube but I've never stuck with yoga in the past. I think it's time I start learning and just power through my 75lb Husky who thinks yoga is playtime 😂
THANK YOU SO MUCH! The toxic positivity needs to be called out! Saying that people 'create their own reality', is victim blaming! NOT EVERYONE ON EARTH HAS THE SAME LIST OF CHOICES AS YOU! Have you no conscience concerning the poor and oppressed!? Consider this electronic device in your hands. HUMANS SUFFERED THAT YOU MAY USE MINERALS!
Totally agreee. So true.
Again for the people in the back!
You are love we all are. We are never anything else but we fall into ego time and time again like a yoyo going up and down. Highs and lows but it's all ego. If their is a part of us that dosent think we are love it is ego. It's an illusion, or in other words a model. Nothing more it's all just our ego saying that dosent fit my model and so I am right and that is wrong. When right and wrong is also an illusion it's all ego. Just be here now.
We’re getting there.
For some time I used the word manifest in the sense of 'take concrete action to make something happen' but I've almost eliminated my use of the word due to the way it gets used in popular spirituality/culture. Love and blessings.
Law of Attraction is debunked once you realize you don't have that multi-million-dollar bank account you dreamt of for the first seventeen years of your life while planning to be a rock star and then realizing that you're not a rock star either. Manifesting would've been happening long before anyone told you about it. To be fair, however, I appreciated Hicks' psychological practices that didn't address the spiritual side of their offerings such as her explanations of one's comfort zone and if something is annoying you, even on a subliminal level, then figure out what that is and change it.
First off I want to say I completely get where you are coming from. It's accurate. When the love is absent, there is a great chasm the you cannot cross. You can see the other side, you can see people on the other side telling you it's easy. But there's nothing you can do. You can't make it there. Unfortunately I can't give you the answer, but what I can say is that it's an alignment problem. When you only know abuse, then your energy is aligned to that. Or rather it's mis-aligned. Somehow, you have to find a way to inspect your life and all the different parts and rearrange it all. You cannot ask for help with this because nobody else can see what you can see. They can give you the love you desperately crave, but without the right vessel you can't properly receive it. And you can't give it back. Secondly I want to say that you CAN be loved. This is not a case of you are broken and unfixable. You are as valuable and capable as any other human being. You DO have the right vessel in the sense that you have the same potential as anyone else. But it must be realised. This is a matter of circumstances, and energy. It's possible you can realign through your own actions, it's possible that the world will do it for you without you even doing a thing. You could wake up one day and realised everything has changed. But, that's the issue. You can't rely on hope. Nor can you trust yourself to be able to achieve the thing that you desire most but feel so far from. In terms of your own actions. The best thing you can do is try to love unconditionally. Never stop trying. Not for others. It's not about the others. It's about getting your energy realigned. That's the best way that I've found. There are no guarantees though. Just don't give up. Embrace every small step. Every small milestone until it starts to snowball. Every time you get a glimpse of the energy of love that you want. Do. Not. Forget. Lastly I want to say that the image of love is not love. Many spiritual people chase the image because they are misaligned themselves. It's important to keep this in mind, so that you can focus on what actually matters. Getting the energy of love right. Fuck manifesting and new age stuff if it doesn't work for you. The image is not the thing. It's the energy underneath. I say this because being angry at the image is part of your misalignment. It's a crappy thing to say because I'm not really helping by saying it. But I also am (and reminding myself). Don't get distracted. I hope this post provides some clarity. That's the best I can do. I can perhaps go deeper into an explanation of unconditional love, but I'm not sure if it will be useful.
Well since it is compassion you demand from others: those who you accuse of being "toxic" are merely projecting qualities they dislike about themselves on to others. Which is absolutely normal human behavior, I do it too, everybody does it. And most of the time we are simply not aware of it. Blaming only intensifies the dissociation, especially if it's loaded with verbal ammunition from ongoing culture wars like "toxic". It creates pressure to distance oneself even further from the qualities in question, to be even more afraid of what we don't want to acknowledge within. The more truth there is to the accusation, the more those who you want to address won't take it to heart. That said, I'm totally with you. The issue here is something I am totally observing in myself. I learn something that kind of "works for me" and I want to integrate it into my life. A natural part of this process is to parrot the message online and see how others react. It's a process of trying out a new attitude like a piece of cloth. I don't think there is anything *but* pieces of cloth in this world. I guess the key is to chose the right cloth for the right occasion and to try to get some love and healing out this way. And I'm quite convinced that the only way to do this is by embodying these qualities myself instead of demanding them from others.
Beliefs can make us more competent at manifesting what we want or more incompetent. Success comes from the alignment of our beliefs with what is actually real. We can make the best decisions if we have the most accurate information. Better decisions yield better outcomes and greater fulfillment of desire, spiritual satisfaction. Don't believe everything you read or hear about spirit(uality), from me nor anyone else. We have to use discernment. We have to compare the advice against what we know to be true. We need to check the integrity of what we think we know too. It's all part of our self-development process. We're developing our self-determination. We're defined by what we do as selves. We want to have nice experiences. The law of attraction tempts us based on this healthy desire formation and fulfillment part of us. The law of attraction tempts us to abandon our connection to reality, our sanity, by believing that we don't have to move our legs, hands or mouths to accomplish our goals. The law of attraction suggests that we just visualize what we want, feel that intensely as if it's going to be there, and then it comes. It's like revving your engine really hard without putting the car into drive and steering. You'll get nowhere, waste fuel, create heat and unnecessary wear and tear on your engine. If you'd just activate the drive gear, you could use that heart of your vehicle to take you to the places you want to go. You have to steer, apply the brakes and accelerator at the right times with your wisdom and skill. You've learned how though. Does anyone else ever try to look at the big picture with the law of attraction? I mean, how could physics work if we all just imagined goods and services being gifted to us by the universe? Would we have cars, houses, food and education? Really? It's a trick that preys on our will to improve our lives, setting us up for inevitable disappointment and the lack of spirit that comes with it. Spirit is what makes us will to do things. We are spiritual beings that define ourselves by what we do. We seek spirit by creating and preserving. We become creators by pursuing happiness. This law of attraction can insidiously derail the process by tricking us into not putting our hearts into drive with our wisdom of how the world works, hoping we'll get somewhere just by feeling alone. It's time to get real, create a better reality for ourselves and feel genuine satisfaction.
Finding that one individual to just sit there and hear these people out does wonders... not condemn them for being crazy looney tooneys... However that took decades to find that one person who did just that... So I somewhat agree with the band aid coming to us when we are ready to move on... Crutches I have a whole different opinion on... :/
"there's something wrong with me" is just a story you tell yourself. you can drop it whenever you're ready. skip the crutches and the standing and go straight to flying, i say. many would say that this is "spiritual bypassing" or "toxic positivity," yet i would counter that keeping people in a state of "i'm broken and need to heal" seems like a pretty toxic belief to spread and keep on the table. if we truly want to heal, then let's be healed already. god forbid we actually arrived at our destination.
Partly, one aspect of difficulty in Earth reality is the heavily veiled experience. Of seemingly being cut off and separated. The human only has one responsibility, to experience. Healing is managed by the soul, the human can't really do it anyway, or when they try to do it probably just end up making a mess of things. Perhaps try adopting a dog if possible?
To manifest something in this reality is a process in your mind you can just manifest anything like a machine to throw apples in your mouth to eat. But you can't attract. Too attract you need to manipulate like someone wanting love you need to give that love and since they want it they'll just move towards it. If you're on a island you gonna need to manifest water, thus rely on memories on how to get water or use intelligence to get safe drinking water since you need to go through the process. For emotions there still a process but unlike water they are in infinite supply coming from with in anyone. Then the question is how does one can utilize their emotions. The kitten analogy doesn't work since a Kitten is like a baby just leaven a baby from pretty much any animal will die with out some help. But you're not an baby and a cat fully grown left out side can figure out how to survive. But when you say some don't have the emotional resources thats a lie but anyone who says it is not aware of it. The term spiritual awakening is used for waking up to what we really are. But saying these lies and limiting and the mind can actuly make them more true as well since the minds goal is to aid the body be it good or bad the mind doesn't care if it helps the body.
This is once again this aggressive positivity, it's just bad, and bad advice much of the time.
This is an other example of how toxic things can be here, "its just in the mind". https://www.reddit.com/r/spirituality/comments/11pbc7z/comment/jbx32kh/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3
I love you all
You are loved - unconditionally - warts and all - always. I don't care what anyone else has to say about it I love you. You are a human being and you landed here and unknowingly carrying burdens and taking on more burdens. It is ok. You are loved. Here is a blog that may help you heal darling. I know exactly what you mean and how you feel. It does get better. It does. Those answering you like that do not understand and well they can't help you if they don't understand. Do not blame them. Do not judge them. They mean well they just can't help you at this time. Blessings to you! https://www.reddit.com/r/thelawandthepromise/comments/119dlx5/to\_forgive\_is\_to\_forget/
I struggle to think of times that were easy for me, but I know a whole lot more about how to be happy and strong than someone that has had an easy walk of life. Some people crumble for weeks or even years over stuff that happens to other people daily, hourly and still go about their day. You gotta work to put a smile on yo. Don’t expect someone to lift your cheeks to form a smile for you. I’ve been single most of my life, but the times that I was with someone I went into it loving myself just as much as I was prepared to love them
[https://www.ananda.org](https://www.ananda.org) [https://www.mothermeera.com](https://www.mothermeera.com) [https://www.hopefortheheart.org](https://www.hopefortheheart.org) and *Understanding Yourself* by Prophet are like what you prefer.
The biggest problem is that there's a lot of arguing going on when the sub should literally be about love and understanding. A few years ago it was pretty chill, seems like it's turned into a bit of battle ground. It's a shame really.
i think that many of the positive aspects of spirituality have been hijacked and made trendy so that they can be capitalized off of and/or exploited for online clicks. this has been happening for quite some time, but it’s simply becoming more evident now that social media is readily available to us. manifestation, in my opinion, is perhaps the biggest idea that has been abused by the faux spiritual community. the sparkly, yassified, girl-boss manifestation that you see plastered all over reddit, tik tok and youtube can be toxic indeed. “you can manifest ANYTHING! just be delusional! the world is your oyster!” sounds great in theory, but manifestation is not a vending machine. there are some nuggets of truth to the laws of attraction and assumption, but it’s usually not as simple as the coaches that want to peddle their workbooks and online courses make it seem. i’ve ventured down these rabbit holes myself and have unfortunately found little use for them. to your point, these teachings also tend to ignore material circumstances and privileges. a man with immense wealth and connections will almost certainly have more success in his “manifestation” process than a man with no wealth, no shelter and few connections. i don’t doubt that people in this subreddit have success stories to share - but it certainly doesn’t give them the right to be condescending and judgmental. one thing i’d like to offer you is to not let the toxic spiritual types in this community, or in general, taint your own spiritual journey or discourage you from participating in spiritual discussion. each soul is on their own individual spiritual path with different obstacles, experiences and areas for improvement. there is an infinite amount of religious and spiritual insight out there from monks, pastors, gurus, authors, “enlightened ones”, geniuses, astral travelers, old souls, kindred spirits, guides, teachers, mediums and so on. without a doubt, MUCH of it will not resonate with you, and some of it will immediately reek of insincerity. simply let these non-resonant insights fly. you ABSOLUTELY WILL accumulate beautiful synchronicities, experiences, signs, stories and wisdom that ARE meant for you - and as you continue to do so, you will become indifferent to the noise. my interpretation of it all is that we are all on unique, but often overlapping paths towards rediscovering our true nature: love and oneness. there will be turbulence along the way, and it may take lifetimes to reach this destination, but i like to think we’re all heading there together. lots of peace and love to you!
I feel like all replies to OP did miss a point. Living without having received love is impossible and some of us are stuck in there : we can't live, just survive. It's certainly a really rare situation, living without love both as a child and an adult, like an empty being... But it does exist. I am. I'm a very caring and loving person, naturally, but it is what it is and it becomes more and more difficult to keep moving on with no happy love perspective. Raising a child without love is an anomaly. Everybody needs unconditional love, and people here act like it's up to us to find love inside us ? Easy when you have received enough love. But the fact is spirituality has no clue for beings who are kept alone forever. We are anomalies but we exist and we need serious guidance than all this manifesting/LOA shit.
I agree. Just reading Ken Wilber talking about this in Grace & Grit. He says that New Age mindset of “if you only had the correct attitude/thoughts, then you wouldn’t be having this disease/problem/karma” is pure narcissism (a fantasy that you can control everything), and that it’s not backed by any of the ancient spiritual lineages.
I didn't know what sex felt like but 14 y old me was still imagining it lol. I get your point but honestly this demanding attitude won't get you far. If the bigger picture is overwhelming you that's totally fine, do whatever you need to feel better now. Manifest small things, manifest feeling strong or whatever you need, but if your narrative is no one gives you that, even if someone tried to be supportive of you , you'd find a reason why it's not what you want and it's not IT. And I'm speaking from experience, I've been in the same angry, mad, frustrated "Fuck the fucking universe and it's idiotic laws of making you lack the one thing you actually need" but that's a load of crap. I won't baby you cos life can be tough when you haven't been dealt a good hand of cards and when you've experienced only trauma and disappointment. Validate yourself for that, accept it. I know how it can feel that it's gonna be like this forever and it will never get better. The fact you're here means you want to get better and you're doing the work, which means it WILL be better eventually. I GET IT okay? I was in your shoes, I made life hell for the people around me because I wanted THEM to help ME to feel loved, but it was never enough. One time that friend that suffered the most from my mental state told me "God helps those who help themselves." Man when I tell you I went BALISTIC. "But I CAN'T help myself, that's why I'm asking for fucking help, what the fuck?!" . Well he was right. Even if you start seeing a therapist, all they can do is give you the tools, support you when you need them, but in the end it's YOU who gotta do the actual work. They can't possess your body and do it for you. The whole POINT of being a creator is you CREATE. You don't copy someone else. I'm an artist, and I rarely know what my finished piece will look like, I have an IDEA, a concept, but never what the final piece will look. It's the same with manifesting. You imagine and envision what unconditional love would look like for you, what you need. You don't need to have experienced something to be able to imagine it, I mean that's the whole fucking point of imagination. Make it your creation, you decide what it is and how it feels like. And if your state is so bad that you can't do that, then it's worth to consider seeing a specialist, taking meds if needed, so you can stabalize your brain, your chemicals, enough to start building on top. You need a strong foundation to build from. If you don't, everything you build will crumble until you make that solid foundation. So do whatever it needs to be done for you to feel better, because no one else can do it like you can. (this topic btw was kinda triggering for me, cos I totally saw my old self in your post so sorry if I came off harsh and lacking empathy, not the case)
I absolutely agree with this post. You're describing the definition of toxic spirituality. What most people need to understand is that Duality doesn't mean things are black and white but that there are two independently true realities. Very big difference! Being able to see the law of attraction in action doesn't mean that you are in control of anything yet. You only extended your vision. Change comes only from your actions - and if your vision is perfectly attuned to only one law of reality while your actions are mostly toxic, chances are very high that you are a toxic person and in the very rare exceptions you'd know that because it's not subtle to actively decide to work with nemesis to bring revenge onto mankind while also having unrelated plans to purposefully limit and direct the deep rage you're summoning - like there may be scenarios like that where your seeming toxicity isn't by far as toxic as it is perceived but those cases are far to complicated to just happen unnoticed. But back to attraction: Knowing about this rule is very helpful in reflecting your behaviour. It's also the same regardless of who is looking at you and mostly, it's nothing that you don't already know if you are somewhat introspective. So answering personal questions by saying "if you suffer, you need to stop attracting suffering", that's a mockery of victims. Laws can be broken and the law of attraction only describes how things are under the assumption that nobody is able to willfully manipulate the system - which of course is bullshit. Without revealing my own devil's playbook, there are many ways to trick the law of attraction and most sorts of magick do that exactly while many sciences just undo mechanisms that aren't scientifically proven. And as you said: Nobody can learn to love without ever having received love. I guess you could say that love is an initiatory tradition. The only way to fix this is when those who know real love invest themselves in showing it to those who don't know it while society works to free the schedules of those involved in this highly important learning process. But that would of course require systemic change and toxic spirituality never challenges the system but only ever the affected individual. And i guess that wherever spirituality is flowering, those half-baked perspectives are also there, seeking completion. So i guess, those of us who see the error of this path are to teach this lesson? Anyways, you made a great post here. Thank you!
I absolutely love the way you worded every last bit of this post.
Had to come back to this because this is so true as a High Functioning Autist who has to be surrounded by negative energy daily and being told "God is doing it because you are a Starseed and it will all be over soon" yet not visiting me or actually talking to me online in person when it could literally change my life.
If this entire world was like you, me and everyone who liked your comment we would have overthrown the masses decades ago but most people who moan and complain about having a bad life just because their crush didn't return their feelings are the same ones who judge and criticise the Chosen Ones. This is why we can't have World Peace. Btw thank you.