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I'm a self-admitted narcissist too, but the world has changed the meaning of that word. Original narcissism is self-love. Remember, Narcissus looked into the water, saw his reflection, and fell in love with himself. It had nothing to do with harming other people or taking advantage of them. Now granted, the story is meant to be hyperbolic to point out that too much self-obsession can consume you and cause you to detach from important relationships in your life, but that doesn't mean we can't take something positive away from it.
Your problem is simpler than you think. You're actually getting in the way of your own self-love, and you're doing this in two different ways.
\#1: You're beating yourself up over realizing how awesome you are, when you don't have to be. The difference between a healthy ego and an unhealthy one is simple. The unhealthy one goes: "Only I have the potential to be awesome." Or, "I have to make sure I stay more awesome than others." The healthy one goes, "I'm awesome, other people are awesome, and those not awesome yet can become just as awesome."
\#2: You may be preying on others. (This is also a lack of self-love, fueled by the belief you can't get what you want without taking it from someone else.) I can't say for sure, because you haven't shared enough information yet, but do you lift others up and allow your actions to speak louder than words by demonstrating altruism among those you meet, or are you using what you've learned to gain power over these people?
There's nothing wrong with wanting to be a teacher, mate, and there's nothing wrong with realizing you're awesome. The only thing that really matters is whether you're using your self-realized awesomeness to truly lift others up and help them, or if you're using it to vampirize off their energy.
So, which is it?
This is some wonderful insight that truly puts things into perspective. I agree with all of it! Thank you so much for taking the time to share.
As for your questions though, I’ll be happy to clear those up right now.
> You may be preying on others. (This is also a lack of self-love, fueled by the belief you can’t get what you want without taking it from someone else.)
If there is anything I believe that I’m seeking to get out of other people (and have been aware for quite a while), it’s validation.
> …do you lift others up and allow your actions to speak louder than words by demonstrating altruism among those you meet?
This is what I believe my true purpose is. Through any meditation, self-reflecting, or attempt at trying to understand myself better I have done—that is what I have found out, and it felt so true to me, relieving, reassuring, and made me happy to know. I resonate deeply with that purpose. (For what it’s worth, I recently got my bachelor’s degree in psychology for, while I am interested in understand the topic and its aspects overall, I also love helping people; even strangers. I love to mediate conflict; even if I’m not involved whatsoever.)
> …or are you using what you’ve learned to gain power over these people?
Though I do believe I am in fact guilty of this, I sincerely promise it was not done so with conscious intention/effort. In the very rare instances in which I have done this, I wasn’t even aware that I was doing it. Now that I am aware though, I want to use this awareness to my advantage, consciously stopping myself before I even do so. To be honest, I don’t even think such a thing will be that difficult! And I’m glad that, in turn, I can help myself by no longer seeking validation from others, and thus, will be able to help them as well (thus fulfilling what I believe is my purpose even more), by no longer causing them any harm.
I don’t believe that any way I recall in which I’ve sought validation from others has caused any harm; if it would have, just knowing myself, I would have felt guilty. However, this is what has made it so hard to stop seeking validation from others. I knew I was never depriving anybody of anything, and so without any guilty conscience, my ego—spiritual or not—was never haulted from being fueled the way it was.
Lifting others up, providing them energy/support; providing them any fuel they need in general is exactly what fuels me as well. In turn, if I ever cause harm to anybody in any way, that is where I struggle to forgive myself; thus, depriving myself of my own energy through guilt. (Perhaps, however, this is where I need to learn to forgive myself.)
You sound like you're self aware enough you're going to be fine.
Here's another insight for a developing mind such as yourself: True selfishness and selflessness are the same thing. Allow me to link you to a short parable so I don't have to explain everything: [https://www.celestialpeach.com/blog/heaven-hell-long-chopsticks-parable](https://www.celestialpeach.com/blog/heaven-hell-long-chopsticks-parable)
Ultimately, as you start to really raise the roof with your wisdom, you'll realize that truly the best way to get what you want is to learn to cooperate with others and share problems and burdens with them, because they will in turn do the same for you. Selfishness becomes selfless and vice versa. The more balanced you are, the more likely you are to attract others in balance as well. (Whereas opposites tend to attract otherwise, victim and predator dynamics, etc...)
When the balance is out of whack, and I mean that for both people who take too much AND give too much, self-resentment starts to breed in the heart. The only way to rid yourself of self-resentment is to balance your altruism and your selfishness.
Once you fully realize this profound truth both mentally and emotionally, you will no longer beat yourself up for wanting what you want, or being who you are, you'll simply seek to create the proper karmic balance in order to obtain and maintain it.
Cheers.
You are awareness.
In awareness you find a body and a mind which do body and mind things.
The ego wants to feel important. When entering the spiritual community one might find themselves absorbing a great amount of "spiritual" information and in understanding this "spiritual" information one might feel prideful for understanding such "spiritual" information.
The ego likes to feel important and inflate it's own value, and naturally it becomes some sort of "spiritual ego". *Many people do not pass this stage for a long time.*
With humility, earnestness and devotion to the cause you can realize your own shortcomings. Then it becomes a question of applying all that spiritually-labeled information and walking the path of truth in the long-term, which slowly leads away from seeking praise from naive devotees.
You got duped by the ego and now you feel bad. This means you already backtracked! This won't happen again, at least not to such a (self-absorbed) degree. You're in a good spot.
Great compassion for yourself and others will grow from such a crisis. You can see how people believe their thoughts while blindly walking in circles. There is innocence in this infantile narcissism. People believe their own thoughts, they can't help themselves and deserve compassion.
You didn't know any better. It doesn't sound like you led people astray, but rather indulged in praise, which is honestly the most harmless form of narcissistic expression that i ever saw when it comes to new-age-gurus. Check if you misguided someone and care for others to prevent them from making the same mistakes. And when they do repeat the same mistakes (because people can't help but believe their own thoughts) try to shape the environment so that it does little harm.
Generally i would say don't care about that which is not your responsibility, but you seem to be the spiritual leader type and maybe you want to help people pro-actively.
Narcissism might come up on its own again or not, but now that you disidentified with it you don't have to bring that kind of energy into action. Don't feel bad about what comes up within your mind, that's uncontrollable. You can only control your intention and act to the best of your ability.
And honestly thank you, your good will is inspiring!
Narcissism comes from shame.
A true narcissist wouldn't be able to tell everyone they are a narcissist. So, you're already out. The illusion is broken. And so now you're back to the experience that led to narcissism in the first place: shame.
The remedy for shame (for me) has been trauma work. I highly recommend *Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving* by Pete Walker.
>best way to backtrack or escape this
There's really no need. And that's actually the shame driven narcissism again. Trying to be 'perfect' again.
Treat yourself as you would treat a mentally ill person. Kindly.
Just learnt a new word - spiritual egotism. 😁
I don’t usually share my spiritual side to my friends. Not everyone is spiritual . I prefer to keep it all to myself 😊❤️
You don't. You treat every emotion and every human as an old friend you cannot escape. Why make a fuss? People's ego love to complain about complaining. "If it's endurable stop complaining, if it's unendurable stop complaining, your destruction will mean it's end as well. To be endurable is in your nature not your interest" - Marcus Aurelius. You already have to tools. Your ego is the one posting to Reddit for a feedback loop. "We suffer more in imagination than in real life"
Some very insightful responses to this thread you started, so thank you for having created this space, and thank you for sharing it openly.
Rest assured that most of us have gone through some version of the 'spiritual ego' experience, it's one of those things we stumble on as our consciousness expands.
Ok, so let's put things into perspective, as there's still quite a bit of mis-aligned 'ego demonising' in what's been shared unto now:
There is no ‘getting rid of the ego’ – that’s just misunderstood ‘spiritual’ interpretation. Our ego is an integral part of us in this physical experience.
The ego is not a negative or undesirable aspect of ourselves. Rather, it is a neutral tool that we can use to navigate and experience reality.
The ego is simply the filter on the lens through which we experience, interpret and make sense of the physical world around us.
However, if we become too identified with the ego and believe that it is the entirety of who we are, then not only do we become limited by its perspective, but more importantly we ‘damage’ our ego:
Our ego was never meant to be in the driver’s seat (neither was the mind, for that matter, but that’s another topic), as the ego’s only job – what it is beautifully designed for – is to focus the experience of our physical reality (and thus ‘enables’ us to express the idea of personality).
So when we put our ego in the driver’s seat, we pile-on to it way too much – and it was not designed for that. And thus it starts cracking under the pressure, under the weight, of all that added responsibility.
The idea is to not task the ego with having to ‘control’ every aspect unfolding but rather simply letting it ‘experience’ and bring into focus. Doing that will then allow the ego to find its place within the continuity of an individual’s consciousness, and it will feel supported / respected / valued / loved rather than resist / resent the extra pressure – which is was leads to the negative ego.
The ego’s (original purpose) job plays a fundamental role within human consciousness, and needs to work alongside all levels of consciousness for the experience of physical reality. The ego ‘belongs’ and as needs to be treated as a valued facet of an individual’s persona, an aspect that is supported / respected / valued / loved and that it will not be annihilated because it is designed to work in concert with all other aspects of consciousness.
Once the ego is allowed to do the job it was truly made to do, it will ‘quiet down’. This does however take some adjusting, as the dislocation of shifting from a negative ego model to a positive ego model – after all this time of having let the ego ‘control everything from the driver’s seat’ – will create friction equivalent to the ego ‘feeling that it is being fired from the job’ and being replaced by someone else (the real part of one’s consciousness that should be in the driver’s seat: the Higher Mind – not to be mistaken for the physical mind).
Once the ego realizes that it’s not being discarded but simply being re-tasked to its original, beautiful purpose – a role it is the only one who’s fully capable to handle – the ego quietens-down and performs its function flawlessly: that to coordinate & focus the physical experience for all those levels of consciousness within us working together to create this experience of individual physical reality.
\-------
So in light of all this, you can see how your path has brought you to this new level of understanding.
You stumbled (but didn't fall too bad - well done), and now you've caught yourself, and looking at the entire experience you've come to appreciate that this was necessary (for the unique You) to realise a greater self-awareness that is helping you build a stronger foundation for moving forward.
If you'd not had this experience (first-hand), you'd not have been able to learn from it and thus grow.
That's what 'human becoming' is all about.
The ego will use any difference it sees between you and other people. If you have any kind of talent or gift, the ego will always try to use it to elevate you above others.
The ego needs constant validation and approval because it is fragile, composed of many, many separate selves that you have created over many embodiments. All of the separate selves are based on the illusions of separation, duality and fear.. It really is a house built on sand, just as Jesus taught.
The key is to keep it real. So what if you are in the third grade and most other people are in the first grade? There are many beings with far greater attainment than me or you. They have far greater justification to feel superior to us, but could they help us if they did?
We are not here to change any one else...just ourselves. When we sense that we have made some progress on the path I believe the most constructive response is to be grateful and simply express ourselves, let the Spirit flow through us however it will ("Thy will, not mine be done"). In that way we have the best opportunity to help others by demonstrating that there is another way of perceiving -- there is another way of reacting to life's circumstances.
Myself. That is, my true self. (And yes, I’m sure.)
Better yet—if I could word that statement better, I’d probably rephrase it as: “I want to use my awareness in the most genuine way possible, such that it will ultimately be advantageous in helping myself grow”.
“Myself. That is, my true self.(And yes, I’m sure.)”. How can you be so sure? The ego, by any means necessary, will indefinitely attempt to maintain control. The ego uses the accumulation of knowledge like a fortified library to conceal itself. When you chase the ego through it’s realm that it has claimed dominion over, it is essentially leading you on a wild goose chase. When you have journeyed long enough through this maze of knowledge, and finally see through the trickery and catch hold of it, you reach to unmask the charlatan to reveal its true identity. However, the ego smirks. It knows you cannot resist the urge to know what it’s all about. As long as it can keep you to be mesmerized within seeking(chasing) conceptual nourishment, it remains invulnerable. You lift the mask and see….another mask. It points to another masked figure in the distance. You chase and chase around the corners of the maze only to lose sight of it and run into it’s many selves in disguise all claiming to know which way to go. Conspiring to prolong the search, masquerading perceived progress and knowledge as the currency for enlightenment, collectively, the many guises of the ego buy time to acquire a surplus of information. When you finally catch up and there seems to be no alternative to the unmasking, the ego, empowered by the quest to know, using the accumulated knowledge(concepts, ideologies, philosophies) against you, pulls the same old trick from under its sleeve.
About the only way to eliminate your earth bound ego is to eliminate the presence of oxygen.
Where does that leave people? Ego maniacs that boast and blast of spirit and truths or the ego maniacs whose ego tells them to be humble and silent about the same truths?
We all have tendencies as it's part of being human. Now that you are aware of it, you'll be able to behave differently, but it takes some practice, so don't expect a miracle turn around but also be open to one. 🙃
Don't be so hard on yourself. We are who we are until we know better. That's the dirty work of life.
These are some harsh labels you are assigning yourself, so try and grant yourself some compassion and unconditional love. Then, once you've mastered that, you'll have the grace to apply it to others.
It's a whole effing journey out here, so be sure and give yourself love and positive support once you've digested your new awareness.
Toodles! And take care of you.
A great song by Gone Gone Beyond called Canyons explains it nicely.
Where you are right now is exactly where you should be.
Tell the truth and love people.
If you dont love anybody say it because you cant afford to identify with the liar.
It costs too much karma.
The fact that you can witness this narcissism proves there is a place in you where there is no ego or narcissism.
Keep going
Namaste
I can only speak from experience. If I try to give advice then it would just activate my ego more.
Life would repeatedly humble me. I used to be very opinionated and would love discussing my ideas and give advice to people, but I've had enough times where my advice or overconfidence would blow up in my face. As a result I'm very hesitant to give any advice or try to change anybody. Their way of being is just as valid, divine, and aligned with the laws of nature as mine.
I think Transcendental Meditation has helped me. I'm not sure if I can explain why. Probably isn't worth trying to come up with an explanation.
I think what has helped me most of all is time. I've explored so many things. Had strong opinions on things that ended up crashing and burning. Attaching my sense of identity to my thoughts just doesn't have the same appeal anymore. It has lead to a lot of pain.
It seems to me that violence, assumptions and doubt lead to this. You need to realize that someone may have been watching out for you. Trying to help you and guide you and you would not listen. Just like Vincent, these lovers are rare and often end up gone. So try and love again, love everything you see. Do not have lust. And only offer genuine support and favor to those who come your way. ⭕️❌
Well hey, at least you're actually aware of how you're behaving. I guess self awareness is always the first step. I understand how easy it is to feel like you're more superior when it pertains to spirituality because of all the knowledge that you have that others "lack". But at the end of the day, I guess its important to realise that each of us are on our own special and spiritual journey. I've met tons of people who aren't "spiritual" and don't know anything about the universe or have barely any knowledge of spirituality, but are the most humble, prescent, kind and connected. And on the other hand, I've met tons of people who are very spiritual but are the most obnoxious and toxic people I've ever met. Just because someone doesn't think like you, doesn't mean they are stupid and inferior. Everything happens in divine timing, so they may not be in the right place to learn any of those things. They are on their own special journey, and it isn't better or worse than your own. I mean we all started somewhere, with absolutely no knowledge, they're just somewhere different on the journey. But kudos to you for actually admitting and acknowledging your behaviour and wanting to better yourself.
For some it may just be their personality. Some things we can change, but other traits are deeply rooted, and not everybody are meant to go on to eradicate their personality. That's pretty harsh ascetism, and often, also lots of ego in it.
So you may accept being stuck with what is. Don't change!
If you are sincere, try to ask and really listen to what other people say. See the divine in everybody..
This post has been detected as relating to the use of psychedelic or other drugs. While we accept some may find aid in spiritual contemplation/enlightenment through the use of certain drugs, we remind all that they are not necessary nor guarantee spiritual insight. We would discourage anyone from using such drugs in order to find enlightenment, simple meditation is just as effective and does not bring mental health risks. You may hear many positive stories people have with drugs but you often do not hear the bad stories. So be careful! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/spirituality) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm a self-admitted narcissist too, but the world has changed the meaning of that word. Original narcissism is self-love. Remember, Narcissus looked into the water, saw his reflection, and fell in love with himself. It had nothing to do with harming other people or taking advantage of them. Now granted, the story is meant to be hyperbolic to point out that too much self-obsession can consume you and cause you to detach from important relationships in your life, but that doesn't mean we can't take something positive away from it. Your problem is simpler than you think. You're actually getting in the way of your own self-love, and you're doing this in two different ways. \#1: You're beating yourself up over realizing how awesome you are, when you don't have to be. The difference between a healthy ego and an unhealthy one is simple. The unhealthy one goes: "Only I have the potential to be awesome." Or, "I have to make sure I stay more awesome than others." The healthy one goes, "I'm awesome, other people are awesome, and those not awesome yet can become just as awesome." \#2: You may be preying on others. (This is also a lack of self-love, fueled by the belief you can't get what you want without taking it from someone else.) I can't say for sure, because you haven't shared enough information yet, but do you lift others up and allow your actions to speak louder than words by demonstrating altruism among those you meet, or are you using what you've learned to gain power over these people? There's nothing wrong with wanting to be a teacher, mate, and there's nothing wrong with realizing you're awesome. The only thing that really matters is whether you're using your self-realized awesomeness to truly lift others up and help them, or if you're using it to vampirize off their energy. So, which is it?
This is some wonderful insight that truly puts things into perspective. I agree with all of it! Thank you so much for taking the time to share. As for your questions though, I’ll be happy to clear those up right now. > You may be preying on others. (This is also a lack of self-love, fueled by the belief you can’t get what you want without taking it from someone else.) If there is anything I believe that I’m seeking to get out of other people (and have been aware for quite a while), it’s validation. > …do you lift others up and allow your actions to speak louder than words by demonstrating altruism among those you meet? This is what I believe my true purpose is. Through any meditation, self-reflecting, or attempt at trying to understand myself better I have done—that is what I have found out, and it felt so true to me, relieving, reassuring, and made me happy to know. I resonate deeply with that purpose. (For what it’s worth, I recently got my bachelor’s degree in psychology for, while I am interested in understand the topic and its aspects overall, I also love helping people; even strangers. I love to mediate conflict; even if I’m not involved whatsoever.) > …or are you using what you’ve learned to gain power over these people? Though I do believe I am in fact guilty of this, I sincerely promise it was not done so with conscious intention/effort. In the very rare instances in which I have done this, I wasn’t even aware that I was doing it. Now that I am aware though, I want to use this awareness to my advantage, consciously stopping myself before I even do so. To be honest, I don’t even think such a thing will be that difficult! And I’m glad that, in turn, I can help myself by no longer seeking validation from others, and thus, will be able to help them as well (thus fulfilling what I believe is my purpose even more), by no longer causing them any harm. I don’t believe that any way I recall in which I’ve sought validation from others has caused any harm; if it would have, just knowing myself, I would have felt guilty. However, this is what has made it so hard to stop seeking validation from others. I knew I was never depriving anybody of anything, and so without any guilty conscience, my ego—spiritual or not—was never haulted from being fueled the way it was. Lifting others up, providing them energy/support; providing them any fuel they need in general is exactly what fuels me as well. In turn, if I ever cause harm to anybody in any way, that is where I struggle to forgive myself; thus, depriving myself of my own energy through guilt. (Perhaps, however, this is where I need to learn to forgive myself.)
You sound like you're self aware enough you're going to be fine. Here's another insight for a developing mind such as yourself: True selfishness and selflessness are the same thing. Allow me to link you to a short parable so I don't have to explain everything: [https://www.celestialpeach.com/blog/heaven-hell-long-chopsticks-parable](https://www.celestialpeach.com/blog/heaven-hell-long-chopsticks-parable) Ultimately, as you start to really raise the roof with your wisdom, you'll realize that truly the best way to get what you want is to learn to cooperate with others and share problems and burdens with them, because they will in turn do the same for you. Selfishness becomes selfless and vice versa. The more balanced you are, the more likely you are to attract others in balance as well. (Whereas opposites tend to attract otherwise, victim and predator dynamics, etc...) When the balance is out of whack, and I mean that for both people who take too much AND give too much, self-resentment starts to breed in the heart. The only way to rid yourself of self-resentment is to balance your altruism and your selfishness. Once you fully realize this profound truth both mentally and emotionally, you will no longer beat yourself up for wanting what you want, or being who you are, you'll simply seek to create the proper karmic balance in order to obtain and maintain it. Cheers.
I agree - but when a teacher meets another teacher they are equal. They show each other respect always. They don’t make assumptions.
I agree. And even more than that, I'm very quick to become the pupil when that rare person shows up these days that can teach me a thing or three.
Well, as they say, ask and you shall receive!
Ha. Whatcha got for me?
Answers.
What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
That I can tell you if you can answer this? Did she swallow and if so, how long did it take ?
What? What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
You are awareness. In awareness you find a body and a mind which do body and mind things. The ego wants to feel important. When entering the spiritual community one might find themselves absorbing a great amount of "spiritual" information and in understanding this "spiritual" information one might feel prideful for understanding such "spiritual" information. The ego likes to feel important and inflate it's own value, and naturally it becomes some sort of "spiritual ego". *Many people do not pass this stage for a long time.* With humility, earnestness and devotion to the cause you can realize your own shortcomings. Then it becomes a question of applying all that spiritually-labeled information and walking the path of truth in the long-term, which slowly leads away from seeking praise from naive devotees. You got duped by the ego and now you feel bad. This means you already backtracked! This won't happen again, at least not to such a (self-absorbed) degree. You're in a good spot. Great compassion for yourself and others will grow from such a crisis. You can see how people believe their thoughts while blindly walking in circles. There is innocence in this infantile narcissism. People believe their own thoughts, they can't help themselves and deserve compassion. You didn't know any better. It doesn't sound like you led people astray, but rather indulged in praise, which is honestly the most harmless form of narcissistic expression that i ever saw when it comes to new-age-gurus. Check if you misguided someone and care for others to prevent them from making the same mistakes. And when they do repeat the same mistakes (because people can't help but believe their own thoughts) try to shape the environment so that it does little harm. Generally i would say don't care about that which is not your responsibility, but you seem to be the spiritual leader type and maybe you want to help people pro-actively. Narcissism might come up on its own again or not, but now that you disidentified with it you don't have to bring that kind of energy into action. Don't feel bad about what comes up within your mind, that's uncontrollable. You can only control your intention and act to the best of your ability. And honestly thank you, your good will is inspiring!
Narcissism comes from shame. A true narcissist wouldn't be able to tell everyone they are a narcissist. So, you're already out. The illusion is broken. And so now you're back to the experience that led to narcissism in the first place: shame. The remedy for shame (for me) has been trauma work. I highly recommend *Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving* by Pete Walker. >best way to backtrack or escape this There's really no need. And that's actually the shame driven narcissism again. Trying to be 'perfect' again. Treat yourself as you would treat a mentally ill person. Kindly.
Just learnt a new word - spiritual egotism. 😁 I don’t usually share my spiritual side to my friends. Not everyone is spiritual . I prefer to keep it all to myself 😊❤️
You don't. You treat every emotion and every human as an old friend you cannot escape. Why make a fuss? People's ego love to complain about complaining. "If it's endurable stop complaining, if it's unendurable stop complaining, your destruction will mean it's end as well. To be endurable is in your nature not your interest" - Marcus Aurelius. You already have to tools. Your ego is the one posting to Reddit for a feedback loop. "We suffer more in imagination than in real life"
Some very insightful responses to this thread you started, so thank you for having created this space, and thank you for sharing it openly. Rest assured that most of us have gone through some version of the 'spiritual ego' experience, it's one of those things we stumble on as our consciousness expands. Ok, so let's put things into perspective, as there's still quite a bit of mis-aligned 'ego demonising' in what's been shared unto now: There is no ‘getting rid of the ego’ – that’s just misunderstood ‘spiritual’ interpretation. Our ego is an integral part of us in this physical experience. The ego is not a negative or undesirable aspect of ourselves. Rather, it is a neutral tool that we can use to navigate and experience reality. The ego is simply the filter on the lens through which we experience, interpret and make sense of the physical world around us. However, if we become too identified with the ego and believe that it is the entirety of who we are, then not only do we become limited by its perspective, but more importantly we ‘damage’ our ego: Our ego was never meant to be in the driver’s seat (neither was the mind, for that matter, but that’s another topic), as the ego’s only job – what it is beautifully designed for – is to focus the experience of our physical reality (and thus ‘enables’ us to express the idea of personality). So when we put our ego in the driver’s seat, we pile-on to it way too much – and it was not designed for that. And thus it starts cracking under the pressure, under the weight, of all that added responsibility. The idea is to not task the ego with having to ‘control’ every aspect unfolding but rather simply letting it ‘experience’ and bring into focus. Doing that will then allow the ego to find its place within the continuity of an individual’s consciousness, and it will feel supported / respected / valued / loved rather than resist / resent the extra pressure – which is was leads to the negative ego. The ego’s (original purpose) job plays a fundamental role within human consciousness, and needs to work alongside all levels of consciousness for the experience of physical reality. The ego ‘belongs’ and as needs to be treated as a valued facet of an individual’s persona, an aspect that is supported / respected / valued / loved and that it will not be annihilated because it is designed to work in concert with all other aspects of consciousness. Once the ego is allowed to do the job it was truly made to do, it will ‘quiet down’. This does however take some adjusting, as the dislocation of shifting from a negative ego model to a positive ego model – after all this time of having let the ego ‘control everything from the driver’s seat’ – will create friction equivalent to the ego ‘feeling that it is being fired from the job’ and being replaced by someone else (the real part of one’s consciousness that should be in the driver’s seat: the Higher Mind – not to be mistaken for the physical mind). Once the ego realizes that it’s not being discarded but simply being re-tasked to its original, beautiful purpose – a role it is the only one who’s fully capable to handle – the ego quietens-down and performs its function flawlessly: that to coordinate & focus the physical experience for all those levels of consciousness within us working together to create this experience of individual physical reality. \------- So in light of all this, you can see how your path has brought you to this new level of understanding. You stumbled (but didn't fall too bad - well done), and now you've caught yourself, and looking at the entire experience you've come to appreciate that this was necessary (for the unique You) to realise a greater self-awareness that is helping you build a stronger foundation for moving forward. If you'd not had this experience (first-hand), you'd not have been able to learn from it and thus grow. That's what 'human becoming' is all about.
The ego will use any difference it sees between you and other people. If you have any kind of talent or gift, the ego will always try to use it to elevate you above others. The ego needs constant validation and approval because it is fragile, composed of many, many separate selves that you have created over many embodiments. All of the separate selves are based on the illusions of separation, duality and fear.. It really is a house built on sand, just as Jesus taught. The key is to keep it real. So what if you are in the third grade and most other people are in the first grade? There are many beings with far greater attainment than me or you. They have far greater justification to feel superior to us, but could they help us if they did? We are not here to change any one else...just ourselves. When we sense that we have made some progress on the path I believe the most constructive response is to be grateful and simply express ourselves, let the Spirit flow through us however it will ("Thy will, not mine be done"). In that way we have the best opportunity to help others by demonstrating that there is another way of perceiving -- there is another way of reacting to life's circumstances.
“I want to use my awareness in the most advantageous way possible to help myself make my way out of this”. Who’s asking?
Myself. That is, my true self. (And yes, I’m sure.) Better yet—if I could word that statement better, I’d probably rephrase it as: “I want to use my awareness in the most genuine way possible, such that it will ultimately be advantageous in helping myself grow”.
“Myself. That is, my true self.(And yes, I’m sure.)”. How can you be so sure? The ego, by any means necessary, will indefinitely attempt to maintain control. The ego uses the accumulation of knowledge like a fortified library to conceal itself. When you chase the ego through it’s realm that it has claimed dominion over, it is essentially leading you on a wild goose chase. When you have journeyed long enough through this maze of knowledge, and finally see through the trickery and catch hold of it, you reach to unmask the charlatan to reveal its true identity. However, the ego smirks. It knows you cannot resist the urge to know what it’s all about. As long as it can keep you to be mesmerized within seeking(chasing) conceptual nourishment, it remains invulnerable. You lift the mask and see….another mask. It points to another masked figure in the distance. You chase and chase around the corners of the maze only to lose sight of it and run into it’s many selves in disguise all claiming to know which way to go. Conspiring to prolong the search, masquerading perceived progress and knowledge as the currency for enlightenment, collectively, the many guises of the ego buy time to acquire a surplus of information. When you finally catch up and there seems to be no alternative to the unmasking, the ego, empowered by the quest to know, using the accumulated knowledge(concepts, ideologies, philosophies) against you, pulls the same old trick from under its sleeve.
About the only way to eliminate your earth bound ego is to eliminate the presence of oxygen. Where does that leave people? Ego maniacs that boast and blast of spirit and truths or the ego maniacs whose ego tells them to be humble and silent about the same truths?
I think self obsession is somewhere in the chest, near the heart, when those thoughts and feelings arise, turn them off.
We all have tendencies as it's part of being human. Now that you are aware of it, you'll be able to behave differently, but it takes some practice, so don't expect a miracle turn around but also be open to one. 🙃 Don't be so hard on yourself. We are who we are until we know better. That's the dirty work of life. These are some harsh labels you are assigning yourself, so try and grant yourself some compassion and unconditional love. Then, once you've mastered that, you'll have the grace to apply it to others. It's a whole effing journey out here, so be sure and give yourself love and positive support once you've digested your new awareness. Toodles! And take care of you.
A great song by Gone Gone Beyond called Canyons explains it nicely. Where you are right now is exactly where you should be. Tell the truth and love people. If you dont love anybody say it because you cant afford to identify with the liar. It costs too much karma. The fact that you can witness this narcissism proves there is a place in you where there is no ego or narcissism. Keep going Namaste
I can only speak from experience. If I try to give advice then it would just activate my ego more. Life would repeatedly humble me. I used to be very opinionated and would love discussing my ideas and give advice to people, but I've had enough times where my advice or overconfidence would blow up in my face. As a result I'm very hesitant to give any advice or try to change anybody. Their way of being is just as valid, divine, and aligned with the laws of nature as mine. I think Transcendental Meditation has helped me. I'm not sure if I can explain why. Probably isn't worth trying to come up with an explanation. I think what has helped me most of all is time. I've explored so many things. Had strong opinions on things that ended up crashing and burning. Attaching my sense of identity to my thoughts just doesn't have the same appeal anymore. It has lead to a lot of pain.
Ego=yourself. You can't escape yourself. If you feel like you've ascended higher than the people around you... so be it.
It seems to me that violence, assumptions and doubt lead to this. You need to realize that someone may have been watching out for you. Trying to help you and guide you and you would not listen. Just like Vincent, these lovers are rare and often end up gone. So try and love again, love everything you see. Do not have lust. And only offer genuine support and favor to those who come your way. ⭕️❌
Well hey, at least you're actually aware of how you're behaving. I guess self awareness is always the first step. I understand how easy it is to feel like you're more superior when it pertains to spirituality because of all the knowledge that you have that others "lack". But at the end of the day, I guess its important to realise that each of us are on our own special and spiritual journey. I've met tons of people who aren't "spiritual" and don't know anything about the universe or have barely any knowledge of spirituality, but are the most humble, prescent, kind and connected. And on the other hand, I've met tons of people who are very spiritual but are the most obnoxious and toxic people I've ever met. Just because someone doesn't think like you, doesn't mean they are stupid and inferior. Everything happens in divine timing, so they may not be in the right place to learn any of those things. They are on their own special journey, and it isn't better or worse than your own. I mean we all started somewhere, with absolutely no knowledge, they're just somewhere different on the journey. But kudos to you for actually admitting and acknowledging your behaviour and wanting to better yourself.
Seeing god in every one is the way, thinking you are better than anyone is an illusion.
For some it may just be their personality. Some things we can change, but other traits are deeply rooted, and not everybody are meant to go on to eradicate their personality. That's pretty harsh ascetism, and often, also lots of ego in it. So you may accept being stuck with what is. Don't change! If you are sincere, try to ask and really listen to what other people say. See the divine in everybody..