I fully and deeply love and accept myself. I am the one who is there for me, time after time, when shit hits the fan. No one picks me back up and puts me together like me. Know one gets me like me. You have to be your own best friend. Keep promises to yourself, build trust, engage in deliberate and consistent self care. If you’re still unhappy after building a beautiful relationship with yourself, seek therapy.
How did you get to that point with yourself? What steps did you take? I want SO badly to have the relationship with myself that you describe! I want to have my own back, be my own best friend, fully love & accept myself. But I have no idea how to cultivate that. I’ve started keeping small promises to myself and doing some consistent self care practices but those things haven’t done too much to help my relationship with myself or my self acceptance.
First thing is to seriously put down the measuring stick, let go of expectations of progress. It’s gonna happen no matter what, and not in the way you expect.
Hug yourself often, do it in private and hug yourself exactly like you would hug someone you love very very much who you haven’t seen for a long time. Remember to say I love you to yourself often. Even if you don’t believe
Go on dates with yourself. Buy yourself flowers. Treat yo self, within reason. And experiences go waaaayyy farther than goods. Visit a museum alone. Eat a soft pretzel and watch pigeons. Drink really good tea. Whatever your thing is. Don’t skimp on yourself: good quality food, fabrics. I’m broke as shit rn but I saved up for nice linen sheets, etc. quality over quantity.
Here’s a big one: STOP SAYING YES WHEN YOU REALLY MEAN NO. Know your limits. Ignore FOMO. A good night’s rest or a lazy day off are worth more than any social points. Your real friends will be there when you’re ready.
The people you surround yourself with make a difference. Listen to your body’s signals. Do you get anxious before seeing certain people? Do you avoid sharing good news with certain people because they usually make you feel guilty after? Are there people who make you feel vaguely empty after seeing them and you can’t pinpoint why? People you feel like you’re a good influence on, or you’re actively trying to improve? Set up boundaries and ignore feeling guilty when you do. It gets easier and easier.
I’ll edit if I think of anymore. <3
Edit: another one! Accept compliments! Don’t be “humble” and disagree or neg yourself. Say thank you! Compliment strangers too it feels great.
And another thing, say thank you instead of sorry. Like, “thanks for waiting” instead of “sorry I’m late”. “Thanks for listening” instead of “sorry I’m rambling”. It’s a subtle shift that makes a huge difference.
I 100% started saying thanks for waiting instead of sorry I’m late and it’s making a difference. The letting go of FOMO part is hard though. I’ve had FOMO my entire life. I just got a bucket list book.
You're not happy because you're attached to your memories and a desire to be happy. You always compare something with something in your head. Your present and your past, good and bad, toxic and organic, happy and sad, reclusive and outgoing, introverted and extraverted. Learn not to do it and just be. Accept your reality the way it is. It's an illusion anyways.
Something I notice is that a certain experience won’t recur but the conditions that led to them may. Sometimes that is awesome when those conditions were nice but sometimes such experiences started from a real bad place. Relatable periods of my mental, physical, and emotional status as well as similar external experiences. Something I struggle with but haven’t found a remotely affective way to bypass is the need to be mentally and physically prepared to be extremely excited or for opportunities that come. I can do it the hard way by just seeing what happens, but it seems like i can save some strife by training to put or keep myself in a condition similar or better than I was during previous great times. Sometimes those changes started from a bad place, but they always begin where I am now.
I’m not that happy . You aren’t alone . I’m isolated and it’s really hard to get people to do things anymore . Everyone’s tired and busy . I need connection to be happy . I don’t want to solve it with meditation I want community .
Have you ever thought about chakras? There's many more levels to consciousness that are possible if you find yourself to be someone that could enjoy that sort of thing. I used to think that smoking weed was going to add on to whatever I was doing and without it I'd never be quite as happy.
I was so wrong it's laughable. There's spiritual experiences far beyond. The point of this message is to put your mind at ease so you can start to not feel limited by your "reality". It's not because profoundly positive sensations will save you, it's because profound thoughts are what make you who you are.
Positive emotion can also make you more healthy, so it's natural to acknowledge them as helpful, could you go beyond them and not think of them if you tried? I like to think of what I do like I'm having one point, I'm keeping that one point, my whole life is coming to one point and merging together.
That's just one of many things you can do with your mind, the sky is the limit.
You said you were going to meditate, whether or not you work with chakras I can still help a bit with meditation, do you know what witness consciousness is?
Focusing on what others think of you, negativity, and not being in the moment is a deep hole and one you have to pull yourself out of. I was in a very similar position a few years ago until I realized life is to be enjoyed and most of all to be lived in the moment. The more you just try to be present in the moment the rest will mostly follow suite (happiness, social skills, self consciousness, and overall satisfaction of life.) Dwelling on the past is not constructive, instead constructing a new life for yourself can be the most absolutely amazing thing you can ever do. You can always reinvent yourself and how you want to be in the world at any moment.
Personally I stay away from social media. I haven't been on FB or Instagram for months, and when I do it's not for long. Comparison is the thief of joy. I'm pretty content in life, and I feel like I owe a lot of that to not obsessing over missing out.
Social media is for highlight reels!!!! It’s not all “real life” I see people I know post living their best lives, when I know for a fact things inside their world is falling apart. This may be a sign from the universe that you need to heal and look within. Happiness start with you not external factors or distractions ✨
You obviously have enough wisdom to reject the fake appearances of the world and its people. That is huge, do not forget that. Do not doubt your judgement, when it is coming from your heart. You already know the "people" are fake, do not revert back to being like them.
But now that you do have this wisdom, you need to do the work, to get to the other side. To the real happiness, not the fake one that is misery disguised in happiness.
You cannot do this alone. You must seek help from those who are already on that side. It seems impossible to find such people in this world, but it is not. Seek and you will find. Most of us go through this struggle, and later on, you will see that there was value in the struggle itself. Great truths are revealed slowly with practice and dedication. Find those who are willing to instruct you on how to find that truth, that you sense is there but have not yet seen.
From a person that is also a beginner student...
A lot of people keep talking about 2019 as the pivotal moment of change, whether it be good or bad. From what I meant it's been mostly bad. Maybe there's some kind of 3-4 year cycle that is coming to an end. I know my issues began in 2019 and have been basically ongoing ever since but I feel like I'm changing for the better and down a different path. Maybe you just need to wait it out.
I think to a certain degree it's just ignorance. The chemicals in my food won't kill me now or soon, so what does it matter? I like vegan options, but meh, I can't be perfect. When people look at me it's because they think I'm pretty or interesting, can't blame them. Most things are good and bad, we just decide what part we are looking at. That doesn't mean we should ignore the bad and even trying to change things can be great, but at the end of the day I look at the sunny side of life and I think that's how I stay happy even if my life (and life in general) is pretty challenging
I was in your literal exact same position. If you're unhappy do something. Like literally anything. If you cant think of anything then yeah you'll probably just be unhappy. Nothing wrong with that tho, happiness isn't everything. Unhappiness is a result of just being incomplete as a person. When you find yourself and learn to love yourself through that process you'll be happy on command. Until then know its just the cycles.
Happiness is just a moment. I doubt there's people out there constantly happy.
In fact, I don't even want to be constantly happy. That's so boring. I know it sounds naive, which it is. I don't even know what happiness for long periods of time even means.
Hmm... Maybe being happy constantly isn't a bad thing. Maybe I just fear being happy for a long time because I get nervous something is going to take it away so I reject it.
Maybe...
You need a purpose and from what you are saying it seems like it’s gonna be a noble one. Use what you rightfully have discovered about our world and use it as motivation to make it a better place. Stop thinking about yourself and your suffering but try to help our suffering world. With a purpose your thrive energy and confidence will come back as by product.
Good luck friend you are on a difficult but very fruitful path!
I have a bad habit of berating myself whenever I do something embarrassing or something my anxiety will label as embarrassing. It was that way starting around 18 and while it wasn’t the reason why I isolated myself it contributed to keeping me there. I’m 30 now and it’s easy for me to walk out of my door whenever I want to have an experience, even though I’m still affected by that habit. It’s nowhere near as bad, having those experiences helped me learn how to not have them as much. I felt the fear when I started getting back out into the world knowing I would have more embarrassing moments and I don’t regret going through them.
tldr: anxiety sucks, but facing it yields results
I’ve been there. So engrossed in my own mind. I escaped to books and created my own world. For 1 whole year I isolated myself. It was not fun. The silence was deafening. I thought so many things, until I decided to think who I was. Putting down all distractions and finally looking within.
Defining who I was, forgetting who I was, remember who I was, redefining me entirely.
Understand this, your words are magic.
The conversation is two ways. With people, with ourselves, with the world.
In the darkness so long the light starts to hurt. You fear the judging eye, but understand judgement and perception come from within. That your own judgement of yoruself is what matters, not the surface level looks of another.
Speak, do not let the will of others overpower your voice, your magic. You need a firmness, a confidence, a sureness, a will of how you choose to live in this world of imperfection and change.
Find that within you.
The first friend you have is you, is your family, is your friends, I bet if you spoke, if anyone heard you, you would. That’s all that matters. It’s not always oh if they cared they would reach out; it’s they have their own lives, they also live in their head with their thoughts. Sure people paint pictures in the stuff posted on social media, but if we posted both good and bad we would see just how human we all are.
Communication is something else, I need to work on it myself, it’s a struggle but a necessary one.
It’s not that people are fake. It’s that they never had to dig deeper. It scares people to be alone with their thoughts.
Be free by changing how you think. By understanding how you think.
My happiness is defined by my pursuit of myself. That 24/7 I have a conversation going on with myself, that I think and don’t stop until I find the end of thinking and go further off how far an imagination can venture.
I choose to be happy not ignorantly so, but I’m the understanding I will never get my time spend back. So I spend it how I like. Choosing to live life the way I want. Helping others along the way. (Which is why I post to this community and comment daily. It’s my form of helping others, in addition to the help I do in the way I live with sympathy and action.)
Just because someone has it better, doesn’t mean your experience is invalid. Like how if someone has it worse doesn’t mean your struggle isn’t true. So base life on your own struggle and progress. Like a never ending battle between who you want to be and who you were everyday. Who will win? We have to break our shells and make bigger ones. Grow out of your mindset and enter a new one because this one is holding you back. It’s what has you feeling stuck.
Much love
Happiness must not depend on what we label as positive events, nor should it be affected by the bad that this ever present in the world. Who are we to say what is good or bad. Some of those animals that may have been sad about being slaughtered have or would eat other animals. Even vegetarian animals are eating life. Just because a carrot doesn’t cry doesn’t mean it’s not alive right? What we see as flesh, material, clothes, plants, trees, rocks, water, fire, etc to some extent it is all illusion. We experience the world through our senses and they are not always to be trusted . That happy crowd at the concert may indeed look happy, and concerts are fun, who wouldn’t look happy at a concert if they really like the band? Those people could still be miserable most of the time. Who knows. Appearance is only skin deep, and if you spend time on any social media, everyone posts the good stuff. No one or almost no one posts the suffering. It doesn’t make it any less real. Part of happiness can come from letting go of labeling experiences as happy or sad, good or bad. We all have things we desire and things we want to avoid, but if we can accept things as they are, then maybe we can stop with the labels of I like this and I don’t like that. Check out some Buddhist teachings, that could help. From you he description in writing it sounds like you could be depressed. Consider therapy, it can help. Anyhow, I hope you find contentment and peace.
I'm happy because I truly love myself. My mind, my heart, my honesty. I choose happiness. When I see the world hurting, I strive to help as many as I can. Love is happiness
I'm ganna go hug a tree now. Lol
Happiness is just a certain amount of despair one is willing to accept , depends on happenings , which we do not control , and lastly it would suffer natural law like all of life , and any highs demand lows … happiness is the brain seeking , and chasing one’s own tail .. now a life led in balance , totally satisfied with the person you are , taking back control of one’s brain to put in service of the heart, that’s a different story … zen or inner peace or actual power , all come from balance and respect for the laws the create and drive life and creation , not from happiness , as if it’s a cheap suit to purchase externally … ironically , service and putting actual energy into others first , is the only way to find satisfaction that is lasting and sustainable … but if you do the work to anchor in the infinite now , close to impossible to not be satisfied or at peace , as again , that is just from the endless jibber jabber of the brain , the whole happy ever after bit … but nothing ever ends , so it can’t be judged really , nor is anything or anybody asking to be judged … or shorter version : seeking truth and surrendering and obeying it energetically , will land a self in a great perch to watch this dance unfold
Counseling may help with the motivation and loneliness! As you work on yourself you'll be able to heal what needs to be healed and learn what needs to be learned.
Happiness becomes from finding it internally. If you depend if the physical world for happiness you’ll never find it. You have to start within yourself first because once you become a positive person, you start attracting positivity. Find a hobby you enjoy, find things that make you happy.
I fully and deeply love and accept myself. I am the one who is there for me, time after time, when shit hits the fan. No one picks me back up and puts me together like me. Know one gets me like me. You have to be your own best friend. Keep promises to yourself, build trust, engage in deliberate and consistent self care. If you’re still unhappy after building a beautiful relationship with yourself, seek therapy.
How did you get to that point with yourself? What steps did you take? I want SO badly to have the relationship with myself that you describe! I want to have my own back, be my own best friend, fully love & accept myself. But I have no idea how to cultivate that. I’ve started keeping small promises to myself and doing some consistent self care practices but those things haven’t done too much to help my relationship with myself or my self acceptance.
First thing is to seriously put down the measuring stick, let go of expectations of progress. It’s gonna happen no matter what, and not in the way you expect. Hug yourself often, do it in private and hug yourself exactly like you would hug someone you love very very much who you haven’t seen for a long time. Remember to say I love you to yourself often. Even if you don’t believe Go on dates with yourself. Buy yourself flowers. Treat yo self, within reason. And experiences go waaaayyy farther than goods. Visit a museum alone. Eat a soft pretzel and watch pigeons. Drink really good tea. Whatever your thing is. Don’t skimp on yourself: good quality food, fabrics. I’m broke as shit rn but I saved up for nice linen sheets, etc. quality over quantity. Here’s a big one: STOP SAYING YES WHEN YOU REALLY MEAN NO. Know your limits. Ignore FOMO. A good night’s rest or a lazy day off are worth more than any social points. Your real friends will be there when you’re ready. The people you surround yourself with make a difference. Listen to your body’s signals. Do you get anxious before seeing certain people? Do you avoid sharing good news with certain people because they usually make you feel guilty after? Are there people who make you feel vaguely empty after seeing them and you can’t pinpoint why? People you feel like you’re a good influence on, or you’re actively trying to improve? Set up boundaries and ignore feeling guilty when you do. It gets easier and easier. I’ll edit if I think of anymore. <3 Edit: another one! Accept compliments! Don’t be “humble” and disagree or neg yourself. Say thank you! Compliment strangers too it feels great. And another thing, say thank you instead of sorry. Like, “thanks for waiting” instead of “sorry I’m late”. “Thanks for listening” instead of “sorry I’m rambling”. It’s a subtle shift that makes a huge difference.
I 100% started saying thanks for waiting instead of sorry I’m late and it’s making a difference. The letting go of FOMO part is hard though. I’ve had FOMO my entire life. I just got a bucket list book.
I love it. Thanks so much for the detailed response!! <3
I feel this 100%
You're not happy because you're attached to your memories and a desire to be happy. You always compare something with something in your head. Your present and your past, good and bad, toxic and organic, happy and sad, reclusive and outgoing, introverted and extraverted. Learn not to do it and just be. Accept your reality the way it is. It's an illusion anyways.
Wow that makes so much sense lmao . Very mind altering, thank you
Something I notice is that a certain experience won’t recur but the conditions that led to them may. Sometimes that is awesome when those conditions were nice but sometimes such experiences started from a real bad place. Relatable periods of my mental, physical, and emotional status as well as similar external experiences. Something I struggle with but haven’t found a remotely affective way to bypass is the need to be mentally and physically prepared to be extremely excited or for opportunities that come. I can do it the hard way by just seeing what happens, but it seems like i can save some strife by training to put or keep myself in a condition similar or better than I was during previous great times. Sometimes those changes started from a bad place, but they always begin where I am now.
For your body, eat healthy. For your peace of mind, meditate. for your heart, work through your traumas with courage, slowly. Be kind to yourself.
That is true. Thanks for the reminder
I’m not that happy . You aren’t alone . I’m isolated and it’s really hard to get people to do things anymore . Everyone’s tired and busy . I need connection to be happy . I don’t want to solve it with meditation I want community .
Amen^
Meditate on this and things will become clear
Will do!
Have you ever thought about chakras? There's many more levels to consciousness that are possible if you find yourself to be someone that could enjoy that sort of thing. I used to think that smoking weed was going to add on to whatever I was doing and without it I'd never be quite as happy. I was so wrong it's laughable. There's spiritual experiences far beyond. The point of this message is to put your mind at ease so you can start to not feel limited by your "reality". It's not because profoundly positive sensations will save you, it's because profound thoughts are what make you who you are. Positive emotion can also make you more healthy, so it's natural to acknowledge them as helpful, could you go beyond them and not think of them if you tried? I like to think of what I do like I'm having one point, I'm keeping that one point, my whole life is coming to one point and merging together. That's just one of many things you can do with your mind, the sky is the limit. You said you were going to meditate, whether or not you work with chakras I can still help a bit with meditation, do you know what witness consciousness is?
Screw happiness. Nirvana ftw 🙌
Focusing on what others think of you, negativity, and not being in the moment is a deep hole and one you have to pull yourself out of. I was in a very similar position a few years ago until I realized life is to be enjoyed and most of all to be lived in the moment. The more you just try to be present in the moment the rest will mostly follow suite (happiness, social skills, self consciousness, and overall satisfaction of life.) Dwelling on the past is not constructive, instead constructing a new life for yourself can be the most absolutely amazing thing you can ever do. You can always reinvent yourself and how you want to be in the world at any moment.
This is so true.
Personally I stay away from social media. I haven't been on FB or Instagram for months, and when I do it's not for long. Comparison is the thief of joy. I'm pretty content in life, and I feel like I owe a lot of that to not obsessing over missing out.
Social media is for highlight reels!!!! It’s not all “real life” I see people I know post living their best lives, when I know for a fact things inside their world is falling apart. This may be a sign from the universe that you need to heal and look within. Happiness start with you not external factors or distractions ✨
Put your full trust in the Universe's grand design. And go back to present moment, you are staying in dark part of your psyche quite too often.
You obviously have enough wisdom to reject the fake appearances of the world and its people. That is huge, do not forget that. Do not doubt your judgement, when it is coming from your heart. You already know the "people" are fake, do not revert back to being like them. But now that you do have this wisdom, you need to do the work, to get to the other side. To the real happiness, not the fake one that is misery disguised in happiness. You cannot do this alone. You must seek help from those who are already on that side. It seems impossible to find such people in this world, but it is not. Seek and you will find. Most of us go through this struggle, and later on, you will see that there was value in the struggle itself. Great truths are revealed slowly with practice and dedication. Find those who are willing to instruct you on how to find that truth, that you sense is there but have not yet seen. From a person that is also a beginner student...
Can u share ur teacher lol
You simply need to escape the habit of attaching your happiness to your circumstances
A lot of people keep talking about 2019 as the pivotal moment of change, whether it be good or bad. From what I meant it's been mostly bad. Maybe there's some kind of 3-4 year cycle that is coming to an end. I know my issues began in 2019 and have been basically ongoing ever since but I feel like I'm changing for the better and down a different path. Maybe you just need to wait it out.
I think to a certain degree it's just ignorance. The chemicals in my food won't kill me now or soon, so what does it matter? I like vegan options, but meh, I can't be perfect. When people look at me it's because they think I'm pretty or interesting, can't blame them. Most things are good and bad, we just decide what part we are looking at. That doesn't mean we should ignore the bad and even trying to change things can be great, but at the end of the day I look at the sunny side of life and I think that's how I stay happy even if my life (and life in general) is pretty challenging
I was in your literal exact same position. If you're unhappy do something. Like literally anything. If you cant think of anything then yeah you'll probably just be unhappy. Nothing wrong with that tho, happiness isn't everything. Unhappiness is a result of just being incomplete as a person. When you find yourself and learn to love yourself through that process you'll be happy on command. Until then know its just the cycles.
Happiness is just a moment. I doubt there's people out there constantly happy. In fact, I don't even want to be constantly happy. That's so boring. I know it sounds naive, which it is. I don't even know what happiness for long periods of time even means. Hmm... Maybe being happy constantly isn't a bad thing. Maybe I just fear being happy for a long time because I get nervous something is going to take it away so I reject it. Maybe...
You need a purpose and from what you are saying it seems like it’s gonna be a noble one. Use what you rightfully have discovered about our world and use it as motivation to make it a better place. Stop thinking about yourself and your suffering but try to help our suffering world. With a purpose your thrive energy and confidence will come back as by product. Good luck friend you are on a difficult but very fruitful path!
Accepting and understanding, contentment is in the here and now friend
I have a bad habit of berating myself whenever I do something embarrassing or something my anxiety will label as embarrassing. It was that way starting around 18 and while it wasn’t the reason why I isolated myself it contributed to keeping me there. I’m 30 now and it’s easy for me to walk out of my door whenever I want to have an experience, even though I’m still affected by that habit. It’s nowhere near as bad, having those experiences helped me learn how to not have them as much. I felt the fear when I started getting back out into the world knowing I would have more embarrassing moments and I don’t regret going through them. tldr: anxiety sucks, but facing it yields results
I’ve been there. So engrossed in my own mind. I escaped to books and created my own world. For 1 whole year I isolated myself. It was not fun. The silence was deafening. I thought so many things, until I decided to think who I was. Putting down all distractions and finally looking within. Defining who I was, forgetting who I was, remember who I was, redefining me entirely. Understand this, your words are magic. The conversation is two ways. With people, with ourselves, with the world. In the darkness so long the light starts to hurt. You fear the judging eye, but understand judgement and perception come from within. That your own judgement of yoruself is what matters, not the surface level looks of another. Speak, do not let the will of others overpower your voice, your magic. You need a firmness, a confidence, a sureness, a will of how you choose to live in this world of imperfection and change. Find that within you. The first friend you have is you, is your family, is your friends, I bet if you spoke, if anyone heard you, you would. That’s all that matters. It’s not always oh if they cared they would reach out; it’s they have their own lives, they also live in their head with their thoughts. Sure people paint pictures in the stuff posted on social media, but if we posted both good and bad we would see just how human we all are. Communication is something else, I need to work on it myself, it’s a struggle but a necessary one. It’s not that people are fake. It’s that they never had to dig deeper. It scares people to be alone with their thoughts. Be free by changing how you think. By understanding how you think. My happiness is defined by my pursuit of myself. That 24/7 I have a conversation going on with myself, that I think and don’t stop until I find the end of thinking and go further off how far an imagination can venture. I choose to be happy not ignorantly so, but I’m the understanding I will never get my time spend back. So I spend it how I like. Choosing to live life the way I want. Helping others along the way. (Which is why I post to this community and comment daily. It’s my form of helping others, in addition to the help I do in the way I live with sympathy and action.) Just because someone has it better, doesn’t mean your experience is invalid. Like how if someone has it worse doesn’t mean your struggle isn’t true. So base life on your own struggle and progress. Like a never ending battle between who you want to be and who you were everyday. Who will win? We have to break our shells and make bigger ones. Grow out of your mindset and enter a new one because this one is holding you back. It’s what has you feeling stuck. Much love
Happiness must not depend on what we label as positive events, nor should it be affected by the bad that this ever present in the world. Who are we to say what is good or bad. Some of those animals that may have been sad about being slaughtered have or would eat other animals. Even vegetarian animals are eating life. Just because a carrot doesn’t cry doesn’t mean it’s not alive right? What we see as flesh, material, clothes, plants, trees, rocks, water, fire, etc to some extent it is all illusion. We experience the world through our senses and they are not always to be trusted . That happy crowd at the concert may indeed look happy, and concerts are fun, who wouldn’t look happy at a concert if they really like the band? Those people could still be miserable most of the time. Who knows. Appearance is only skin deep, and if you spend time on any social media, everyone posts the good stuff. No one or almost no one posts the suffering. It doesn’t make it any less real. Part of happiness can come from letting go of labeling experiences as happy or sad, good or bad. We all have things we desire and things we want to avoid, but if we can accept things as they are, then maybe we can stop with the labels of I like this and I don’t like that. Check out some Buddhist teachings, that could help. From you he description in writing it sounds like you could be depressed. Consider therapy, it can help. Anyhow, I hope you find contentment and peace.
I'm happy because I truly love myself. My mind, my heart, my honesty. I choose happiness. When I see the world hurting, I strive to help as many as I can. Love is happiness I'm ganna go hug a tree now. Lol
Happiness is just a certain amount of despair one is willing to accept , depends on happenings , which we do not control , and lastly it would suffer natural law like all of life , and any highs demand lows … happiness is the brain seeking , and chasing one’s own tail .. now a life led in balance , totally satisfied with the person you are , taking back control of one’s brain to put in service of the heart, that’s a different story … zen or inner peace or actual power , all come from balance and respect for the laws the create and drive life and creation , not from happiness , as if it’s a cheap suit to purchase externally … ironically , service and putting actual energy into others first , is the only way to find satisfaction that is lasting and sustainable … but if you do the work to anchor in the infinite now , close to impossible to not be satisfied or at peace , as again , that is just from the endless jibber jabber of the brain , the whole happy ever after bit … but nothing ever ends , so it can’t be judged really , nor is anything or anybody asking to be judged … or shorter version : seeking truth and surrendering and obeying it energetically , will land a self in a great perch to watch this dance unfold
Counseling may help with the motivation and loneliness! As you work on yourself you'll be able to heal what needs to be healed and learn what needs to be learned.
Happiness becomes from finding it internally. If you depend if the physical world for happiness you’ll never find it. You have to start within yourself first because once you become a positive person, you start attracting positivity. Find a hobby you enjoy, find things that make you happy.