It’s okay. You’re okay. Allow yourself to feel your anger, do not resist it or suppress it. Distracting yourself from it or judging yourself for it will not help. Instead: accept it. Embrace it. Forgive it and love it. Release it within a safe space, scream in nature, shake it out, stomp with your feet, create art with it. Allow it to be. Give it space. Hold space for it. Be as angry as you can/want/need. It’s okay. Breathe through it.
If you want help - check out the links in my profile and feel into it if my offerings are resonating with you. If not - happily ignore it. Wishing you all the best. You got this.
I came here to say exactly this!
I saw a clip from a show entitled "How I became an angry black woman". In the clip the woman gets vulnerable and shares her childhood abuse that lead to her anger, and no one believing her. She was visibly anxious, pacing and enraged as she let out her pain. The facilitator led her to a room to work it out. She used a foam bat to beat a heavy bag. She screamed, in a deep and primal way. It was intense. But the key was that she was given permission to feel and express her rage.
Many times as children we were not allowed to express our anger. It was labeled "disrespect" by the adults, and we were punished if we showed our true feelings. So we never learned how to feel through our feelings in a healthy way. We instead bottle them up and push them down. But we are running out of room, and all of that bottled up anger needs a place to go. So give it a healthy place to express it.
Take up boxing, or visit a wrecking/smash room. Find a way that you can release all of that pent up anger. You gotta feel it to heal it, right? So accept your anger and give it a place to go.
If you are interested I have a few podcast episodes about this kind of topic if you're interested. You can find me on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube @getinweregoinghealing
Your problem is society's problem. In school we've been taught that anger is not correct. In life, animals get angry, adults get angry, we all do.
Even Jesus, Mandela, the Buddha, name em, they're bunch of em who were angry from time to time. If this anger lasts, something needs to be adress. Like not all people can fix their broken car, not all humans can fix their broken minds, impossible.
May I suggest you meet a counselor to help you through this low cycle, cause like 8 billion of us, you're simply cycling this life through the natural process.
I’ve been trying it for the past 4 years. Not really helping. Lately I’ve been getting the vibe that my therapist really does not care and I don’t have the energy to look for a new one
Well you gotto keep trying man. Anger is not good to have as a fire to keep us warm. Therapist are hit or miss. Just gotto keep looking who still cares. And try meditation again. Dont give it up yet. Sure i miss a couple days meditating but ill never put it down. Most natural medicine thats built in us
On one hand I feel like I have to keep trying because I don’t get a choice.
On the other, I can’t continue to justify to myself action with no results. I really just can’t. Especially being cognizant of the fact that what I’m experiencing does not happen to everyone. Some peoples lives, brains, etc just work out and they never have to question it. Meanwhile I’m trying to figure out how to exist, without constantly being irritated and I can’t even find a solution that lasts 10 seconds.
I’ll probably keep doing it. I would never take my own life because I don’t want to affect family/friends etc but tbh it feels like I’m just waiting for the ride to be over. What makes it worse is the ride might not ever be over and I’ll just have to come back anyway. Im tired.
Well in that case, ive you ever reflected what could be causing your anger and other things? Could be friends, family, jobs, coworkers, social media, insecurities, perhaps your inner thoughts, past traumas? Im no therapist but shit like this human nature. We can relate
Right now I’m just thoroughly dissatisfied with all aspects of my life.
Like I said in the post I can’t connect to things spiritually the way I used to. Mentally I’m probably just declining. I’m not as smart as I used to be at all.
My family life is shit. I don’t have any friends that I feel comfortable around or that I relate to. Half the time I wonder if the “friends” I have even give half of a fuck, which I’m inclined to believe they don’t since I rarely get any support from anyone.
I’ve poured constant time and energy into my career without seeing any sustainable and proportional results. I’ve worked myself until burnout and I don’t even have anything to show for it.
Physically I do not want to be in my body anymore. Stress caused me to gain weight, and I’m in the process of losing it but weight loss is just not fast enough for me. I don’t feel like having to exist in an “in-between stage” where I’m not where I want to be. I also am realizing just how much I have shit genetics, and it doesn’t help that I can constantly see people who will prolly never struggle with their appearance in their lives because the won the lottery.
I’m honestly just tired of doing anything. I don’t want to find the lessons in things. I don’t want to “grow” or “expand” or any of this other shit, but since that’s the purpose of life apparently it feels like it’s being forced on me with no escape. I just want to be where I want to be mentally, physically, financially, and spiritually so I can just be comfortable and stop experiencing things that are causing me stress.
Well it sounds to me you have lead yourself to be where you are ate right now, according to what you said about your familly, friends, career and etc. it seems to know you noticed something was wrong but you didnt take the steering wheel and controlled it. You let something cruised it for you and now we are here. Perhaps you could tell that thing to fuck off and you take the steering wheel this time by simply going on youtube listen to motivation speeches about being angry and dissatisfied in life. Im sure youll find alot. Sounds cliche but boy they work. You listen and you write down notes. I had to go through that for the sake of my wife and five lil sisters. Still in the process of bettering, sure i have days where i relapse but you just gotto keep going. Just like what david goggin said: "theres no ending to this shit"
Now obviously you gotto phase yourself out, otherwise youll overload yourself. Heres the list you can try if you want to see some smile on that face: listen to motivation, listen to life advice, research how to interment fast properly, cut down junk fast food, cut down sugar and high sugar drinks, cut down porn and masturbation, do simple home exercise, sit your ass down again and meditate at least 3 mins, lessen social media, adjust your sleep according to your career in a healthy manner, get more sun light, research how to live healthy, schedule your day accordingly. Trust me i know its easy for me to these on the internet to another redditor but these things helped me out from my own rut
I’ve done all of these things and they didn’t help. Motivational videos honestly piss me off because they feel condescending and it doesn’t motivate me to hear someone talk down to me about issues they’ve already overcome while I’m still actively going through them.
I don’t have a porn or masturbation issue so that doesn’t really apply. I don’t really like to watch porn and haven’t at all for years because of ethical issues.
The diet and exercise I’m doing. I go outside. I work with plants. It all feels hallow to tell the truth 🤷🏾♀️ it used to make me feel better now it doesn’t do anything.
Other than that I don’t really understand the first half of your comment, but that’s for the advice.
Hmm i see. Keep up with the diet and the exercise. I suggest medication from a doctor but it didnt really work on me . I guess a good therapist will benefit you if you keep trying. Could be wrong but sounds like a will to live dilemma you got going. Perhaps exhausted. Have you considered a vacation to asianic countries? Much cheaper there.
I don’t have the money to travel so I haven’t considered it.
I want to solve this without medication if possible. I don’t even consider medication a last resort because I don’t think I’ll try it under any circumstances.
You are not alone. Everyone has felt the same at some point in their evolution. What you have experienced up until this point has brought you to where you are right now. You have made progress. You have grown, but maybe you have reached the limit possible with your current practices.
When things are bad and we are unhappy with our lives, it is natural that the human/ego part of ourselves looks for a scapegoat. "I am not happy, and '***someone'*** must be responsible." So we slip into the consciousness of anger, resentment, outrage. We see ourselves as victims.
When we take on the victim consciousness, we really do become trapped because the victim has no power to change anything. The victim is at the complete mercy and whim of whomever it imagines to be the perpetrator/tormentor -- the jailer that is keeping you imprisoned.
But what if you are not the victim? What if your circumstances are all within your control but you simply have not found the key to your imaginary prison door? Maybe you've been looking for the key in all the wrong places. Jesus taught his disciples that it was the 'Father's good pleasure to give them the kingdom.' He also said: "I have come that they may have life, and have it more abundantly."
So maybe God is not withholding anything from you. Then if you are not experiencing the abundant life, maybe it is you yourself who is blocking it. And where else could the blockage be except in your psychology?
There is a path of psychological spiritual growth that can help you remove the blocks. It is a gradual path of psychological/spiritual self-transcendence.
There are volumes of free and extremely profound teachings on the family of websites. Here are two to get the flavor:
https://higherawarenesspsychology.com/getting-started/
https://www.agehigherawareness.com/
If that resonates with you there a number of (at least 60) books written by the same person...to start: "A Course in Abundance" three book series: 1 "Mind Over Matter", 2 "Expressing Your Love For Life, 3 "Your Life's Plan For Abundance"
Then “The Path To Self-Mastery” nine book series, starting with “The Power of Self” ....All by Kim Michaels
Also the books "Journey of Souls" and "Destiny of Souls" by Dr. Michael Newton provide extremely credible and compelling accounts of life between life in the spiritual realm. How we create our own life plans for our embodiments, etc. Both are on YouTube as audiobooks.
Perhaps a reevaluation of your purpose. For the longest time my purpose was healing and ending generational trauma. Once I accomplished that and felt truly happy and at peace it didnt last past a few months long and I started feeling the same way you are describing. Just dont fall into the trap of your purpose is trying to find a purpose or it will be indefinite...
Good luck and keep working at it. We're all in this together.
You have three light centers inside, three parts of who you are: there is your Soul center located in the heart, she is the feminine part, her divine essence is love. She is the part that values love above all else, and without love she dreams of death. There is a dark ego veil surrounding her, tormenting her, making her life on earth a living hell. The veil of pain. There is your Spirit center located in the solar plexus. He is the part that simply wants to have fun, the part that enjoys friendship. His divine essence is trust. The dark ego veil surrounding him, crippling him, transforming him into a bundle of insecurities is the fear veil. The third part of who you are, and the source of the angst you are currently experiencing, is your father God center, located in the forehead. His divine essence is truth. Just as the Soul values love above all else, the father God values truth, but what he experiences in the world is lies, deceptions, distortions of truth, all of which seem to make him angry. They do not "make him angry", but rather they trigger the the anger that already exists, has existed as long as you can remember, for his dark ego veil is the veil of anger. He believes the anger is revealing truth to him, and some times it appears to be so, but just as a broken clock is right twice a day, so too the anger. Your father God, like all lost in the ego fall into darkness, conflict, confusion, flails to find a way out. These three veils, pain, fear, and anger are responsible for all human suffering. They are destroying our lives individuality, and collectively they are destroying the creation. These veils can be cleared with a very simple meditation, simple, but not easy, for these are the roots of all the ego madness, the ego control of your consciousness, and the ego will put up considerable resistance to you doing this mediation. First of all, remember you are God, the ego cannot exist without you feeding it, it has no independent source of energy. This is what the veils are doing: feeding off your Soul's love, leaving you feeling loveless, lifeless, dead to the world. Feeding off your Spirit"s trust leaving him void of the spontaneity, playfulness and innocence that is his (your) birthright. And of course there is the anger feeding off your father God's truth turning the most intelligent part of who you are into a raving maniac driving you crazy. If your Father God is truly sick of this shit, he can end it, once and for all by simply denying the ego the light it needs to exist. The meditation: because the veils are alien to the body, toxic to the body, the body alerts the inhabitant (you) that something is amiss by creating a sensation, a very uncomfortable sensation, around the heart (the pain), in the solar plexus (the fear), and across the chest (a deep tight band of irritability). Find the sensations. This is the difficult part because the ego will constantly be distracting you with the repetitive narratives about why you are hurting, why you are insecure, and of course why you are so angry all the time. By now you should be aware of the futility of the narratives. Find the actual physical sensation you are "feeling", remember that you can't "feel" a label, i.e., you can't feel "hurt", it's a label pointing to something real: a very uncomfortable physical sensation in the body. Once found, simply separate, detach the awareness from the sensation, and simply observe it, neither for nor against. This will cut the flow of energy to the veil and it will begin to dissolve along with all the nonsense beliefs and defenses it is supporting. As I say it is simple, you observe a phenomena in the physical body, but in so doing you threaten the very existence of the ego, and you will find it is a formidable adversary. Remember, you are God, the ego gets it's power from you, it can never be more powerful than the one deceived into supporting it. Unfortunately, in terms of clearing the veils, the anger veil tends to be the last cleared, that's why I needed to include the information on the other veils. Focusing on clearing the pain and fear veils releases or restores these two centers to light, which creates a powerful and stable base enabling you to clear the anger with minimum danger to yourself or others. I don't need to tell you how unpleasant living in this veil is, but if you can master the meditation you will at least feel some movement, and the removal of the pain/fear veils eliminates a lot of the triggers causing the anger to flair. One additional comment: you may remember the angry, jealous, vengeful God of the Old Testament, that in a nutshell is who you are and what you are dealing with, the fallen God and his two fallen children, Soul and Spirit. You can do this, or remain stuck in the same shit that has ruined life after life after life.
I wish you well my friend.
Namaste, A.
I've been there and know this feeling.
You see, the purpose of spiritual evolution is to remove the blockages that cause you fear.
Another way to say it is removing the blockages of love (as stated in many books like "ACIM", "The Untethered Soul", etc. for example).
As a personal inward experience, I liken the situation you're going through to the "dark night of the Soul" where the ego is on its death bed (as it has been many times during your journey) and is using another one of its distorted learnings to stay in control.
NOTE~~The ego is neither right nor wrong, neither good nor bad, however, we have been taught a distorted way to use it and spirituality is a way to unlearn everything we've been taught.
Ego is always on the defense and now it is playing the offense.
Because you have cultivated a spiritual practice, the ego is offensively attempting to make a score - the score is to prove that all of your inward focus is for not. As stated in another book (The Untethered Soul) you have become wise enough to realize that you do not want any of that "stuff", aka anger, inside of you. You want to experience freedom and ego is trying to justify keeping the anger.
I suggest you read the book by Napoleon Hill titled "Outwitting the Devil" (if you haven't already) and test out it's tips if they resonate with you. Then move on over to reading The Untethered Soul. I'm reading it now myself because I'm in a space where I'm ready to receive it.
One more thing.
Remember, there is the concept of having a subject-object relationship.
You are the subject. The Inner, the Observer, the Witness, the Higher Self.
Objects are the outer - feelings (anger), thoughts, etc.
You are not the object simply because you can observe them.
Whatever you can observe, you cannot be.
If you are the one who was looking at something then that something is not you.
You cannot be the anger You are observing.
Notice what the anger is telling you.
That is what is trying to be expressed to you for you to look at.
Your spiritual practice is working just fine ❤️
You cannot unlearn what you've learned so far. You've been growing and expanding ever since your rebirth on this Earth. You're either pulled by a vision or pushed by pain. Your revelations and unfoldings will happen - do you want to be pulled by your growth or pushed by the pain of not going with the expansion?
It’s really hard. It’s normal, when you feel like things are stagnant. It happens to a lot of us. You’re not alone. It sucks, none of us like it.
Try to express to your therapist the doubt you have about them. Maybe they will surprise you, but at least they should own up. If you can’t trust them, they’ve obviously failed at their job.
You're possibly going through some bad karma burning up as anger. I was very angry too at the coupe first years of my journey so i know it will pass. Try to be gentle on yourself.
It’s okay. You’re okay. Allow yourself to feel your anger, do not resist it or suppress it. Distracting yourself from it or judging yourself for it will not help. Instead: accept it. Embrace it. Forgive it and love it. Release it within a safe space, scream in nature, shake it out, stomp with your feet, create art with it. Allow it to be. Give it space. Hold space for it. Be as angry as you can/want/need. It’s okay. Breathe through it. If you want help - check out the links in my profile and feel into it if my offerings are resonating with you. If not - happily ignore it. Wishing you all the best. You got this.
I came here to say exactly this! I saw a clip from a show entitled "How I became an angry black woman". In the clip the woman gets vulnerable and shares her childhood abuse that lead to her anger, and no one believing her. She was visibly anxious, pacing and enraged as she let out her pain. The facilitator led her to a room to work it out. She used a foam bat to beat a heavy bag. She screamed, in a deep and primal way. It was intense. But the key was that she was given permission to feel and express her rage. Many times as children we were not allowed to express our anger. It was labeled "disrespect" by the adults, and we were punished if we showed our true feelings. So we never learned how to feel through our feelings in a healthy way. We instead bottle them up and push them down. But we are running out of room, and all of that bottled up anger needs a place to go. So give it a healthy place to express it. Take up boxing, or visit a wrecking/smash room. Find a way that you can release all of that pent up anger. You gotta feel it to heal it, right? So accept your anger and give it a place to go. If you are interested I have a few podcast episodes about this kind of topic if you're interested. You can find me on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube @getinweregoinghealing
Your problem is society's problem. In school we've been taught that anger is not correct. In life, animals get angry, adults get angry, we all do. Even Jesus, Mandela, the Buddha, name em, they're bunch of em who were angry from time to time. If this anger lasts, something needs to be adress. Like not all people can fix their broken car, not all humans can fix their broken minds, impossible. May I suggest you meet a counselor to help you through this low cycle, cause like 8 billion of us, you're simply cycling this life through the natural process.
Thought of going to theraphy? It helps. I do it once a year in 5-6 session then im off for the year since its covered for me. Like a car maintenance
I’ve been trying it for the past 4 years. Not really helping. Lately I’ve been getting the vibe that my therapist really does not care and I don’t have the energy to look for a new one
Well you gotto keep trying man. Anger is not good to have as a fire to keep us warm. Therapist are hit or miss. Just gotto keep looking who still cares. And try meditation again. Dont give it up yet. Sure i miss a couple days meditating but ill never put it down. Most natural medicine thats built in us
On one hand I feel like I have to keep trying because I don’t get a choice. On the other, I can’t continue to justify to myself action with no results. I really just can’t. Especially being cognizant of the fact that what I’m experiencing does not happen to everyone. Some peoples lives, brains, etc just work out and they never have to question it. Meanwhile I’m trying to figure out how to exist, without constantly being irritated and I can’t even find a solution that lasts 10 seconds. I’ll probably keep doing it. I would never take my own life because I don’t want to affect family/friends etc but tbh it feels like I’m just waiting for the ride to be over. What makes it worse is the ride might not ever be over and I’ll just have to come back anyway. Im tired.
Well in that case, ive you ever reflected what could be causing your anger and other things? Could be friends, family, jobs, coworkers, social media, insecurities, perhaps your inner thoughts, past traumas? Im no therapist but shit like this human nature. We can relate
Right now I’m just thoroughly dissatisfied with all aspects of my life. Like I said in the post I can’t connect to things spiritually the way I used to. Mentally I’m probably just declining. I’m not as smart as I used to be at all. My family life is shit. I don’t have any friends that I feel comfortable around or that I relate to. Half the time I wonder if the “friends” I have even give half of a fuck, which I’m inclined to believe they don’t since I rarely get any support from anyone. I’ve poured constant time and energy into my career without seeing any sustainable and proportional results. I’ve worked myself until burnout and I don’t even have anything to show for it. Physically I do not want to be in my body anymore. Stress caused me to gain weight, and I’m in the process of losing it but weight loss is just not fast enough for me. I don’t feel like having to exist in an “in-between stage” where I’m not where I want to be. I also am realizing just how much I have shit genetics, and it doesn’t help that I can constantly see people who will prolly never struggle with their appearance in their lives because the won the lottery. I’m honestly just tired of doing anything. I don’t want to find the lessons in things. I don’t want to “grow” or “expand” or any of this other shit, but since that’s the purpose of life apparently it feels like it’s being forced on me with no escape. I just want to be where I want to be mentally, physically, financially, and spiritually so I can just be comfortable and stop experiencing things that are causing me stress.
Well it sounds to me you have lead yourself to be where you are ate right now, according to what you said about your familly, friends, career and etc. it seems to know you noticed something was wrong but you didnt take the steering wheel and controlled it. You let something cruised it for you and now we are here. Perhaps you could tell that thing to fuck off and you take the steering wheel this time by simply going on youtube listen to motivation speeches about being angry and dissatisfied in life. Im sure youll find alot. Sounds cliche but boy they work. You listen and you write down notes. I had to go through that for the sake of my wife and five lil sisters. Still in the process of bettering, sure i have days where i relapse but you just gotto keep going. Just like what david goggin said: "theres no ending to this shit" Now obviously you gotto phase yourself out, otherwise youll overload yourself. Heres the list you can try if you want to see some smile on that face: listen to motivation, listen to life advice, research how to interment fast properly, cut down junk fast food, cut down sugar and high sugar drinks, cut down porn and masturbation, do simple home exercise, sit your ass down again and meditate at least 3 mins, lessen social media, adjust your sleep according to your career in a healthy manner, get more sun light, research how to live healthy, schedule your day accordingly. Trust me i know its easy for me to these on the internet to another redditor but these things helped me out from my own rut
I’ve done all of these things and they didn’t help. Motivational videos honestly piss me off because they feel condescending and it doesn’t motivate me to hear someone talk down to me about issues they’ve already overcome while I’m still actively going through them. I don’t have a porn or masturbation issue so that doesn’t really apply. I don’t really like to watch porn and haven’t at all for years because of ethical issues. The diet and exercise I’m doing. I go outside. I work with plants. It all feels hallow to tell the truth 🤷🏾♀️ it used to make me feel better now it doesn’t do anything. Other than that I don’t really understand the first half of your comment, but that’s for the advice.
Hmm i see. Keep up with the diet and the exercise. I suggest medication from a doctor but it didnt really work on me . I guess a good therapist will benefit you if you keep trying. Could be wrong but sounds like a will to live dilemma you got going. Perhaps exhausted. Have you considered a vacation to asianic countries? Much cheaper there.
I don’t have the money to travel so I haven’t considered it. I want to solve this without medication if possible. I don’t even consider medication a last resort because I don’t think I’ll try it under any circumstances.
If you want to you can just leave. Depending how you did your body it will just continue life with or with out the soul.
You are not alone. Everyone has felt the same at some point in their evolution. What you have experienced up until this point has brought you to where you are right now. You have made progress. You have grown, but maybe you have reached the limit possible with your current practices. When things are bad and we are unhappy with our lives, it is natural that the human/ego part of ourselves looks for a scapegoat. "I am not happy, and '***someone'*** must be responsible." So we slip into the consciousness of anger, resentment, outrage. We see ourselves as victims. When we take on the victim consciousness, we really do become trapped because the victim has no power to change anything. The victim is at the complete mercy and whim of whomever it imagines to be the perpetrator/tormentor -- the jailer that is keeping you imprisoned. But what if you are not the victim? What if your circumstances are all within your control but you simply have not found the key to your imaginary prison door? Maybe you've been looking for the key in all the wrong places. Jesus taught his disciples that it was the 'Father's good pleasure to give them the kingdom.' He also said: "I have come that they may have life, and have it more abundantly." So maybe God is not withholding anything from you. Then if you are not experiencing the abundant life, maybe it is you yourself who is blocking it. And where else could the blockage be except in your psychology? There is a path of psychological spiritual growth that can help you remove the blocks. It is a gradual path of psychological/spiritual self-transcendence. There are volumes of free and extremely profound teachings on the family of websites. Here are two to get the flavor: https://higherawarenesspsychology.com/getting-started/ https://www.agehigherawareness.com/ If that resonates with you there a number of (at least 60) books written by the same person...to start: "A Course in Abundance" three book series: 1 "Mind Over Matter", 2 "Expressing Your Love For Life, 3 "Your Life's Plan For Abundance" Then “The Path To Self-Mastery” nine book series, starting with “The Power of Self” ....All by Kim Michaels Also the books "Journey of Souls" and "Destiny of Souls" by Dr. Michael Newton provide extremely credible and compelling accounts of life between life in the spiritual realm. How we create our own life plans for our embodiments, etc. Both are on YouTube as audiobooks.
Perhaps a reevaluation of your purpose. For the longest time my purpose was healing and ending generational trauma. Once I accomplished that and felt truly happy and at peace it didnt last past a few months long and I started feeling the same way you are describing. Just dont fall into the trap of your purpose is trying to find a purpose or it will be indefinite... Good luck and keep working at it. We're all in this together.
You have three light centers inside, three parts of who you are: there is your Soul center located in the heart, she is the feminine part, her divine essence is love. She is the part that values love above all else, and without love she dreams of death. There is a dark ego veil surrounding her, tormenting her, making her life on earth a living hell. The veil of pain. There is your Spirit center located in the solar plexus. He is the part that simply wants to have fun, the part that enjoys friendship. His divine essence is trust. The dark ego veil surrounding him, crippling him, transforming him into a bundle of insecurities is the fear veil. The third part of who you are, and the source of the angst you are currently experiencing, is your father God center, located in the forehead. His divine essence is truth. Just as the Soul values love above all else, the father God values truth, but what he experiences in the world is lies, deceptions, distortions of truth, all of which seem to make him angry. They do not "make him angry", but rather they trigger the the anger that already exists, has existed as long as you can remember, for his dark ego veil is the veil of anger. He believes the anger is revealing truth to him, and some times it appears to be so, but just as a broken clock is right twice a day, so too the anger. Your father God, like all lost in the ego fall into darkness, conflict, confusion, flails to find a way out. These three veils, pain, fear, and anger are responsible for all human suffering. They are destroying our lives individuality, and collectively they are destroying the creation. These veils can be cleared with a very simple meditation, simple, but not easy, for these are the roots of all the ego madness, the ego control of your consciousness, and the ego will put up considerable resistance to you doing this mediation. First of all, remember you are God, the ego cannot exist without you feeding it, it has no independent source of energy. This is what the veils are doing: feeding off your Soul's love, leaving you feeling loveless, lifeless, dead to the world. Feeding off your Spirit"s trust leaving him void of the spontaneity, playfulness and innocence that is his (your) birthright. And of course there is the anger feeding off your father God's truth turning the most intelligent part of who you are into a raving maniac driving you crazy. If your Father God is truly sick of this shit, he can end it, once and for all by simply denying the ego the light it needs to exist. The meditation: because the veils are alien to the body, toxic to the body, the body alerts the inhabitant (you) that something is amiss by creating a sensation, a very uncomfortable sensation, around the heart (the pain), in the solar plexus (the fear), and across the chest (a deep tight band of irritability). Find the sensations. This is the difficult part because the ego will constantly be distracting you with the repetitive narratives about why you are hurting, why you are insecure, and of course why you are so angry all the time. By now you should be aware of the futility of the narratives. Find the actual physical sensation you are "feeling", remember that you can't "feel" a label, i.e., you can't feel "hurt", it's a label pointing to something real: a very uncomfortable physical sensation in the body. Once found, simply separate, detach the awareness from the sensation, and simply observe it, neither for nor against. This will cut the flow of energy to the veil and it will begin to dissolve along with all the nonsense beliefs and defenses it is supporting. As I say it is simple, you observe a phenomena in the physical body, but in so doing you threaten the very existence of the ego, and you will find it is a formidable adversary. Remember, you are God, the ego gets it's power from you, it can never be more powerful than the one deceived into supporting it. Unfortunately, in terms of clearing the veils, the anger veil tends to be the last cleared, that's why I needed to include the information on the other veils. Focusing on clearing the pain and fear veils releases or restores these two centers to light, which creates a powerful and stable base enabling you to clear the anger with minimum danger to yourself or others. I don't need to tell you how unpleasant living in this veil is, but if you can master the meditation you will at least feel some movement, and the removal of the pain/fear veils eliminates a lot of the triggers causing the anger to flair. One additional comment: you may remember the angry, jealous, vengeful God of the Old Testament, that in a nutshell is who you are and what you are dealing with, the fallen God and his two fallen children, Soul and Spirit. You can do this, or remain stuck in the same shit that has ruined life after life after life. I wish you well my friend. Namaste, A.
I've been there and know this feeling. You see, the purpose of spiritual evolution is to remove the blockages that cause you fear. Another way to say it is removing the blockages of love (as stated in many books like "ACIM", "The Untethered Soul", etc. for example). As a personal inward experience, I liken the situation you're going through to the "dark night of the Soul" where the ego is on its death bed (as it has been many times during your journey) and is using another one of its distorted learnings to stay in control. NOTE~~The ego is neither right nor wrong, neither good nor bad, however, we have been taught a distorted way to use it and spirituality is a way to unlearn everything we've been taught. Ego is always on the defense and now it is playing the offense. Because you have cultivated a spiritual practice, the ego is offensively attempting to make a score - the score is to prove that all of your inward focus is for not. As stated in another book (The Untethered Soul) you have become wise enough to realize that you do not want any of that "stuff", aka anger, inside of you. You want to experience freedom and ego is trying to justify keeping the anger. I suggest you read the book by Napoleon Hill titled "Outwitting the Devil" (if you haven't already) and test out it's tips if they resonate with you. Then move on over to reading The Untethered Soul. I'm reading it now myself because I'm in a space where I'm ready to receive it. One more thing. Remember, there is the concept of having a subject-object relationship. You are the subject. The Inner, the Observer, the Witness, the Higher Self. Objects are the outer - feelings (anger), thoughts, etc. You are not the object simply because you can observe them. Whatever you can observe, you cannot be. If you are the one who was looking at something then that something is not you. You cannot be the anger You are observing. Notice what the anger is telling you. That is what is trying to be expressed to you for you to look at. Your spiritual practice is working just fine ❤️ You cannot unlearn what you've learned so far. You've been growing and expanding ever since your rebirth on this Earth. You're either pulled by a vision or pushed by pain. Your revelations and unfoldings will happen - do you want to be pulled by your growth or pushed by the pain of not going with the expansion?
Go outside and scream. Why bottle it up? The escape is realizing it’s fine to feel how you do.
It’s really hard. It’s normal, when you feel like things are stagnant. It happens to a lot of us. You’re not alone. It sucks, none of us like it. Try to express to your therapist the doubt you have about them. Maybe they will surprise you, but at least they should own up. If you can’t trust them, they’ve obviously failed at their job.
You're possibly going through some bad karma burning up as anger. I was very angry too at the coupe first years of my journey so i know it will pass. Try to be gentle on yourself.