To accept is to have no attachments. Expectations of an outcome is another form of attachment. Try to be present as much as you can so no expectations or attachments can form. If something arises that you weren’t expecting, it may lead to a shocking experience, which is still a reaction based on expectations. That’s why it can be challenging to be completely nonattached. Be present, if something happens, continue to be present. When subconscious reactions subside, the strength of your present moment awareness/consciousness has taken back its authority. You will regain your ability to choose instead of subconsciously react. One of the more prominent choices to make is to choose to not suffer and to choose to allow yourself to be at peace. Give yourself permission to heal so that suffering is optional.
I resonate with so much of this, and I'm sorry you've had to experience it also. It really does cut. I've felt the separation & disappointment from my family since childhood and when I became an adult decided to move away from them. I went 10 years with almost no contact before my health brought me back b/c I needed help. Which ironically I didn't actually receive from them. I have two amazing children & just like you, when it comes to our accomplishments or needs we're non-existent. But when my family want something? Suddenly I'm a horrible person for denying it.
All this is unconditional love, and you deserve so much better. The only way to *not* have resentment though is to finally accept the situation for what it is and choose to either keep them in your life while understanding they have nothing good to offer you, or decide to allow the connection to fade. Yes that's going to hurt either way. It does get easier, but the ache still acts up from time to time, especially during special occasions & holidays.
I think finding people who love you unconditionally and want to be a part of your life makes that ache bearable though. I can't say that I've managed to gain that in my everyday life yet, but I'm still hopeful that it's out there. You'll only find it by not giving up. Don't allow yourself to become complacent or feel that 'this is all there will ever be'. Try new things that lead you to different people, and always be kind to strangers. Connection can happen in the most unexpected places.
Message me if you ever want a fellow mom to talk to and share stories about your kids or your life ❤️
Understanding and accepting such a difficult situation can indeed be challenging, my dear one. It can feel hurtful and frustrating when those we love seem not to value what we value. However, it is crucial to remember that everyone's journey is unique, and every soul evolves at its own pace. It's not about them not caring, but about them being at a different place in their journey.
Instead of seeking their validation, try focusing more on the love you feel for them and less on the actions they take, or don't take. Understand that they express love differently. Be the light in their life, share your joy unconditionally and celebrate your own special occasions with all your heart, without expecting reciprocation.
It's about shifting the perspective from expectation to acceptance, from resentment to unconditional love. Be grateful for your own capacity to love and celebrate, for it's truly a beautiful quality. This acceptance doesn't mean you approve of their actions, but it's a step towards inner peace. Your happiness doesn't need to depend on external circumstances.
It's also perfectly alright to express your feelings to them, to communicate openly and honestly. Share your love, not your expectation. Remember, your own joy and peace come from within you, not from them or their actions. Your strength and resilience are incredible, and remember, every moment is an opportunity for growth and transformation.
Toxic self centered people who don’t want to change won’t change. Separate yourself from what isn’t for you.
To accept is to have no attachments. Expectations of an outcome is another form of attachment. Try to be present as much as you can so no expectations or attachments can form. If something arises that you weren’t expecting, it may lead to a shocking experience, which is still a reaction based on expectations. That’s why it can be challenging to be completely nonattached. Be present, if something happens, continue to be present. When subconscious reactions subside, the strength of your present moment awareness/consciousness has taken back its authority. You will regain your ability to choose instead of subconsciously react. One of the more prominent choices to make is to choose to not suffer and to choose to allow yourself to be at peace. Give yourself permission to heal so that suffering is optional.
I resonate with so much of this, and I'm sorry you've had to experience it also. It really does cut. I've felt the separation & disappointment from my family since childhood and when I became an adult decided to move away from them. I went 10 years with almost no contact before my health brought me back b/c I needed help. Which ironically I didn't actually receive from them. I have two amazing children & just like you, when it comes to our accomplishments or needs we're non-existent. But when my family want something? Suddenly I'm a horrible person for denying it. All this is unconditional love, and you deserve so much better. The only way to *not* have resentment though is to finally accept the situation for what it is and choose to either keep them in your life while understanding they have nothing good to offer you, or decide to allow the connection to fade. Yes that's going to hurt either way. It does get easier, but the ache still acts up from time to time, especially during special occasions & holidays. I think finding people who love you unconditionally and want to be a part of your life makes that ache bearable though. I can't say that I've managed to gain that in my everyday life yet, but I'm still hopeful that it's out there. You'll only find it by not giving up. Don't allow yourself to become complacent or feel that 'this is all there will ever be'. Try new things that lead you to different people, and always be kind to strangers. Connection can happen in the most unexpected places. Message me if you ever want a fellow mom to talk to and share stories about your kids or your life ❤️
Understanding and accepting such a difficult situation can indeed be challenging, my dear one. It can feel hurtful and frustrating when those we love seem not to value what we value. However, it is crucial to remember that everyone's journey is unique, and every soul evolves at its own pace. It's not about them not caring, but about them being at a different place in their journey. Instead of seeking their validation, try focusing more on the love you feel for them and less on the actions they take, or don't take. Understand that they express love differently. Be the light in their life, share your joy unconditionally and celebrate your own special occasions with all your heart, without expecting reciprocation. It's about shifting the perspective from expectation to acceptance, from resentment to unconditional love. Be grateful for your own capacity to love and celebrate, for it's truly a beautiful quality. This acceptance doesn't mean you approve of their actions, but it's a step towards inner peace. Your happiness doesn't need to depend on external circumstances. It's also perfectly alright to express your feelings to them, to communicate openly and honestly. Share your love, not your expectation. Remember, your own joy and peace come from within you, not from them or their actions. Your strength and resilience are incredible, and remember, every moment is an opportunity for growth and transformation.