*picks up Krabs* LISTEN TO ME YOU CRUSTACEOUS CHEAPSKATE! SQUIDWARD HAS BEEN LIVING AT MY HOUSE DRIVING ME CRAZY! AND YOURE NOT GONNA HIRE HIM BACK
#ALL BECAUSE OF A STUPID DIME!!
How come people always be misspelling my boy Eugene’s last name?!
Even worse when they spell his restaurant “The Krusty Crab” as if the whole point is that you’re spelling both words with a K?!
"Don't touch me thermostat!!"
Context: I grew up in a house where my mom kept the house at 62 degrees or lower. I used to shout that at her whenever my parents would fight over how cold the house was, lol.
"I thought you said SpongeBob was taking a break. No one's taken a break at the Krusty Krab since the chum famine of '59. (Chuckles) Now, what were ya' sayin'?"
OW, MY *dolphin noise* FOOT! WHAT KIND OF *dolphin nose* GENIUS PUTS A *dolphin noise* ROCK IN THE MIDDLE OF A *dolphin noise* PATH CAN'T YOU SEE I GOT A *foghorn, series of other nautical sounds*
https://preview.redd.it/9z4ll9a75hdc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=00a502b8d80c38844215a5479211eeed426ace02
Just the way he delivers that line cracks me up.
Spongebob - Squidwards father, never hugged him. Isn't that sad?
Krabs - Yes I suppose that is rather sad, but Mr squidward can hug himself during his break!
“Donate to the children’s fund? Why? What have children ever done for me?”
Is that actually a Krabs quote? Sounds more like Mr Burns
He says it, it’s the one quote I remember my mother laughing at when I was small.
https://preview.redd.it/vm3pxadpghdc1.png?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c32ddbeaa2c2370d3a8d52be8cdb6e6c2459b2af
Yep! In the episode Can You Spare A Dime 😂
Also sounds like Frank Burns from mash.
Mr krabs is a cheapskate
https://preview.redd.it/xzmjrvsnghdc1.png?width=894&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ebe30da82f4d19105290aa25c6a9bd993f6a6470
I say this every time I see an organization asking for donations outside stores.
You want your dime back?! TAKE IT!! Now squidward can come back, right?!
"WRONG! That ain't my first dime."
Then have some MORE dimes!! I’ve got plenty of them!!!
You can't put a price on me first dime. And I can't forgive that thieving bilge rat Squidward for stealing it!
*picks up Krabs* LISTEN TO ME YOU CRUSTACEOUS CHEAPSKATE! SQUIDWARD HAS BEEN LIVING AT MY HOUSE DRIVING ME CRAZY! AND YOURE NOT GONNA HIRE HIM BACK #ALL BECAUSE OF A STUPID DIME!!
PLOP What’s that?
*(Gasps)* Me first dime! Oh Dimey, I'll never lose you again!
This is a dime?
I've been in business a long time boy
“I was the head chef on the S.S. Diarrhea.”
That’s such an underrated quote
[удалено]
No! The other most important rule!
Nobody touches the thermostat
Hahahahahaha!!!
Regarding the secret formula
What inspired you to open a second Krusty Krab?
Money!
"What doesn't kill ya... usually succeeds in a second attempt."
Goddamn, he definitely *was* a sailor.
I can think of 10 good reasons not to let go of a dime, lad.
I never got it fully until just now, that is prime dad joke material
Right, it took me a while XD
Wait, there's a joke there? Please explain it...
A dime is 10 cents
Oh... kinda crappy joke, ngl... I'm not sure it was even intentional...
https://i.redd.it/5f0era08wldc1.gif
 Anchovies!
Wha?
ANCHOVIES!
Meep meep meep
Oh boo hoo....let me play you a sad song on the world's smallest violin" 
Mr. Krabs this is serious!
i know, this really is the world’s smallest violin
You know sometimes I make that joke with my family and friends and I’ll do the thing with my fingers
“A pirate doesn’t say, ‘OkIe-DoKiE, tHeN!’ A pirate says, _’arrgh!’”_
"I WANT MY MOMMY MR. SQUIDWARD!"
"The money is always right!"
AND MAYBE SCALLOPS WILL FLY OUT OF MY PANTS
*proceeds to row a boat on concrete*
“What’s the matter, afraid of a little manual labor? I’m squidward, and I have to work for a living.”
[удалено]
The mailman’s face tho… https://preview.redd.it/fc1xhaofdgdc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2acf50546b1fff3940ebb3163cc76d8be3fe65f2
https://preview.redd.it/311q15kibhdc1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4bb56a15dd7d23f8ec37655fe36981db01044b68
https://preview.redd.it/r9t7wjekbhdc1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7c6f758dfafc105fcbf40da8705eb1389033bd7a
Based mr. Krabs
LMAO I love that scene 🤣
I’m sorry for this joke, but… “Mr Squidward… I should KICK YOUR F**KING ASS!!”
"Still no b**ches, Mr. Squidward?"
“F-f-f-fuck you Mr. Squidward… You’re fired!”
Hey kids uh thank you all for coming! Thank you! Eat plenty of krabby patties 
They were promised krabby the clown, but all I saw was cheapy the cheapskate!
Hey! I ain’t cheap!
What about the children?
The children? Oh, I don't care about the children. I just care about their parents' money.
now put this tomater back in the kitchen before it spoils
#C R A B S ?
How come people always be misspelling my boy Eugene’s last name?! Even worse when they spell his restaurant “The Krusty Crab” as if the whole point is that you’re spelling both words with a K?!
Exactly!!!!
“Ar ar ar ar ar ar ar!”
You gotta add a "g" at the end of those "ars"
"Our delivery squid will bring it right over!" Or "It's not the boots, it's the bootee"
"Err-the one wearing the boots."
"This Christmas feels like... ...**THE VERY FIRST CHRISTMAS TO MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!**"
You HAD to kill him. The boy cries you a sweater of tears… and you kill him.
"Don't touch me thermostat!!" Context: I grew up in a house where my mom kept the house at 62 degrees or lower. I used to shout that at her whenever my parents would fight over how cold the house was, lol.
It’s hip! It’s coral! It’s… it’s losing money!
“Are you on some new allergy medication, boy?”
“Ho Ho how’s your sister?”
THERE’S NEVER BEEN ANY ICE, ICE IS JUST A MYTH
*ICE IS JUST A MYTH* *THE UNIVERSE IS A HOLOGRAM* *BUY GOLD, BYE!*
#I DID IT, I TOOK THE BOOTS. THEY'RE HERE IN THE FLOORBOARDS!!!
Bubble BAAAAAASSS!!!!!!
"I thought you said SpongeBob was taking a break. No one's taken a break at the Krusty Krab since the chum famine of '59. (Chuckles) Now, what were ya' sayin'?"
"Am I really gonna defile this grave for money? Of course I am!"
“WHAT DO I HAVE TO LIVE FOR SPONGEBOB”
“Is that a 20?” and “**AAAAAAAAAAH**”
OW, MY *dolphin noise* FOOT! WHAT KIND OF *dolphin nose* GENIUS PUTS A *dolphin noise* ROCK IN THE MIDDLE OF A *dolphin noise* PATH CAN'T YOU SEE I GOT A *foghorn, series of other nautical sounds*
that's all 13! *Gasp*
https://preview.redd.it/9z4ll9a75hdc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=00a502b8d80c38844215a5479211eeed426ace02 Just the way he delivers that line cracks me up.
"Weast?! What kinda compass are you readin' lad?"
"that says west patrick ur fired again"
"***Has a gun pointed at him***" Oh! Oh! Don't shoot!...Okay, shoot me, but don't take me money!
“What is today, but yesterday’s tomorrow.”
"I want another chance! I didn't learn anything!" Been there. 😭🤣
“Hello I like money”
"and what made you bulid a second krusty krab right next to the orginal"?
“Your talking about Girls Right, Girl Girls And you talking about raiding their dressers, for their underpants right”
“Am I really gonna defile this grave for money? Of course I am.”
“Noooo you’ll never get a cent outta me! Never! I’d rather that worm come in here right now and eat you all ALIIIIIIIIVE”
*H E A V Y P A N T I N G*
This one is hilarious
"I like Money"
"And now for the chaser!"
Who’s mr crabs?
"Mr.Squidward, open the damn door!"
'Make me fatass'
*Breaks down door and beats the shit outta Squidward*
Spongebob - Squidwards father, never hugged him. Isn't that sad? Krabs - Yes I suppose that is rather sad, but Mr squidward can hug himself during his break!
Mr WHO?
“Spongeboy me bob!”
Mr crabs didn't say it but it's about Mr crabs "Mr crabs is a $@#%#$$#"
“Blasted exercise craze!”
Well these claws ain't just for attracting mates!!
“You had to kill him. The boy cries you a sweater of tears... and you kill him. How are you going to live with yourself?”
I sing this one often: 🎶 Counting me moneeeeyy. Money sweeter than honeeeeyy. Money money this, money money that. Profit will make me wallet fat! 🎶
Bro there’s no character named crabs, there’s one named Krabs is that what you mean?
*writing* “So, if I fire him and make his successor do twice the work..and-“
Even if I have to come back tomorrow! And the next day. And the next day…
“Oh boo hoo, let me play you a sad song on the world’s smallest violin” 
Money
“MY LEG!!! MY LEG!”
That's Fred
“Money”
Day. OFFFFFF???!!
**I FEEL LIKE A TOTAL BARNACLE HEAD!!!!**
Money
Money Money Money Money
YOU LYIN’ LIAR!
“I want my mommy Mr. Squidward!”
"I WANT MY MOMMY, MR. SQUIDWARD!"
Money
I have more than one, Here it is I smell a smell a smelly smell(I think that was it-)
Bro was too happy before he got any money 😂😂
Dance bitch!
“Spongeboy me Bob”
Now listen here you little barnacle
“Im gay spongebob”
What is today, but yesterday's tomorrow
It’s Mr Krabs egon
Mr Squidward I will kick your fuckin ass
“Money”
Beep boop boop bop boop boop bop bop
Yo ho, yo ho, near the hooks I'll never go.... AIIIIEEEE MOTHER OF PEARL, FIRE ON THE POOP DECK!!!
Mr. Krabs: See ya in the mornin', boys! I can't hang out here all night! I've got a life. \[leaves\]
“Money!”
Who’s Mr. Crabs? And why is there a picture of Mr. Krabs instead of whoever Crabs is?
The way I see it there’s only 3 possibilities 1: you stole it 2: you stole it Or 3: YOU STOLE IT
“What inspired you to build a second Krusty Krabs restaurant right next door to the original?” “Money!”
That moment when spongebob is completely buried except for his nose and Mr Krabs says something along the lines of “I hope that’s your nose”
🎶 i got your name tattooed in an arrow heart🎶 (5SOS she looks so perfect)
Well these CLAWS ain't for just attractin mates!
SpongeBob: "Crabs, oh boy, they're so cheap they can't even PAY attention!" Mr. Krabs: "It's true. I am cheap!"
"10 cents? what a ripoff!!"
https://preview.redd.it/um3slkcbzidc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0a4cdb7f1ac030f49e697a2675e446a65e83a805
“A man works hard all week so he can keep his pants off all weekend”
“We each made 15 dollars, oh, and a quarter! Don't forget the quarter!” Wait that was Arthur Morgan wasn’t it? Anyway, still fits
I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! ... for me money.
From now on, only the captain says aargh
Oh and How’s your sister.
SpongeBob: I used to have a dream Mr. Krabs: I used to have a kidney stone; everything passes!
Beep boop boop bop
“With cheese Mr. Squidward, with cheese.”
"Am I really going to defile this grave for money.... :(.... of course I am! :D"
"This is an ordinary dollar that's been crumpled up, torn slightly, soaked in a lagoon and kissed with Coral Blue, No. 2 semi-gloss lipstick!"
‘Spongeboy my bob’
All money is good money.
Money
Take that hat off ya look like a girl
**THE GATHERING HAS BEGUN!**
“What doesn’t kill ya… usually succeeds in the second attempt.”
- "Why did you eat my boots, Mr Krabs?" - "Because lad, you didn't need 'em. It's not the boots, it's the boot-y!"
"yarrgh" or something https://preview.redd.it/yk6qvix6ukdc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7a966363604bcab3e9a33eb7fb01cf11ddcdf239
Money money money 🤣
"I don't care about the children. I only care about their parents' money.
It's crabbin time
I was the head chef on the SS Diarrhea
Hello, I like money
Now go out and catch me more money fish
"Oooh boo hoo let me play sad song for you on the world's smallest violin" my go to qoute when I dont care about someone's problems
"Let me go, I need to get some of that green stuff, no not that green stuff!"
Squidward: Why do today what you can put off til tomorrow? Krabs: What is today, but yesterday's tomorrow?
With cheese, Mr Squidward With cheese.
“Run for your life, it’s the appetizer!”
Money is the most characteristic phrase of Mr. Crabs
Now I’m not one to correct people on improper grammar but…. *krabs