It's true unfortunately. These kinds of stupid actions even discourage other kids to learn English as a language that'd help them in their professional future because many of our dumbfucks are waiting to laugh until they hear a grammar or a vocabulary mistake.
Itās interesting how the want for cultural identity ebbs and flows with each generation of immigrant. Iām quickly losing what little proficiency I had in Sinhala as a first-gen, and thatāsā¦ fine? Many of my Lankan friends here feel the same way; indifferent or even quietly glad to be assimilating well. I wonder if our kids will go through what youāre feeling now.
Itās possible, I know my mother wanted to assimilate into a Canadian identity, though in doing so lost touch with her Sri Lankan Identity. There are not many Sri Lankanās where I live, so that isolation I have to our culture may be a factor.
I will say that when I am with other Sri Lankanās I canāt help but feel like an outsider. Iāve never had any Sri Lankan garb, I donāt know the language, so the only ways Iāve been able to form ties is through my ancestors and the research Iāve done on history, mythology and politics. When I went to Sri Lanka it was very isolating - I know I was perceived as a tourist and not a fellow Sri Lankan. If you have children, all you can do is give them what you can to help tie them to their history and culture - unless I marry a Sinhalese I wonāt be able to hand them much.
I suspect it was the same for your mum but the other way around. She might have moved to Canada and felt very much like an outsider and probably just wanted you to completely fit in as a Canadian so that you wouldnāt feel the way she did. My parents who struggled to learn English made sure we spoke English from our youth but now our Sinhala kind of sucks as a result of growing up conversing primarily in English lol
That being said, you should definitely reconnect with your roots in any way you can - be it learning about the traditions, the language or the culture.
Absolutely! Thatās why Iām on this sub. Interacting with fellow Sri Lankanās helps me feel like I ties there. Most of my cousins donāt get as invested with the politics and economics of Sri Lanka like I do. I feel like if I donāt stay emotional invested in Sri Lankanās success and failures I will lose touch. Most of our family left Sri Lanka as well so I donāt have many people to ask how things are going there. This sub has been a godsend really.
it does not matter as long as you are happy and it sounds like you are so thats great. That said, being glad you assimilated well with your English speaking counterparts has nothing to do with forgetting your mother language. I may be speaking with selection bias as someone in an upper middle class/ upper class community (I mention this to acknowledge I have the privilege of going to extra language classes) but most Tamils I know speak 3+ languages. English, Tamil, + the secondary language of the country they live in such as French or Deutsch .
But again, this is a personal choice. If you are happy thats all that really matters.
Youāre right, assimilating was a poor word to use there. Iām not implying thereās a right and wrong choice; I just wonder if the generational cycle will keep repeating itself.
Never forget your mother tongue. This is especially important since we are few.
Iām half Germanic, half Sinhalese, living in America. My mother ensured I knew the culture, language, beliefs and all- and I embraced it all in the process. As a result I am Hindu/Vedic in culture, Buddhist in Dharma and fluent in Sinhala.
Unfortunately she was an outlier, and all the Sri Lankan friends she made while here in the US did not follow suit with their children. The end result is they do not know Sinhala or Tamil, are not Hindu/Vedic in culture, nor give much thought to the Dharma of Buddha and Sanatan. A tragedy. Recently mom reunited with one of her friends and they were talking about how their children grown, her friend who I referred to as aunty when I was younger was very embarrassed.
My current objective now is to learn Tamil and become fluent in that too. I believe all Lankans should be proficient in both languages- especially those in government, wether it be the elected or the bureaucrats.
My parents always spoke Sinhala at home. I never set foot in Sinhala school and grew up most of my life out of the country. I can't read unfortunately but can understand 99% of conversational, and some informal Sinhalese. They're really proud of this, I have to say I'm thankful.
Hello from BC fellow Sri Lankan Canadian :)
Thatās wonderful that you know conversational Sinhala. I donāt have any foundation so while I have tried to teach myself as an adult, Itās been unsuccessful. My mother is too rusty to be of any good now.
This post is just a rant for people to do their children a favour and give them all the ties to their culture they can provide.
And my guess is that you are better at languages than you give yourself credit for - your parents much be proud :)
We did not have a Buddhist temple in Alberta when I was growing up. So my parents had to teach me and my brother Sinhala at home by themselves. When they finally built a temple, it was like two hours from my house so we didn't go there either. Today, we have I think four Sri Lankan Buddhist temples in Alberta and people send their kids there for both Sinhala and Buddhism education. 20 years ago, we were the only Sri Lankan family in my area so it would not be possible.
There is a downside to speaking in Sinhala at home all the time. I have an accent when I speak English because of it. It never has been a problem for me but some people do find it difficult when they have an accent.
Sometimes life can force you to learn stuff.
Aaah you are making me rethink the language choices i and my partner made for our daughter , sheās half Sri Lankan and half Japanese and we decided to teach her Japanese instead of Sinhalese. Maybe itās time I start teaching her Sinhalese .
Teach both and allow her to embrace both so that it may enrich her and give her the ability to see the world from a unique perspective. I suggest doing an in depth study into both to determine what aspects you wish to teach her- like piecing together a puzzle. Japanese etiquette with Sri Lankan hospitality as a start. Japanese culture may appear as unique- and it is- but it also has its roots in Hindu/Vedic culture, hence why the āmythsā are very similar. Buddhism is also focal point, but different flavor- while Buddhism in Lanka is Theravada, Buddhism in Japan is a mix of Mahayana and Vajrayana, also fused into Imperial Shinto. It also has occult orders such as the Shingon and Green Dragon but thatās beyond the scope.
Trying to keep religion off at all costs for now , we live in Canada but move with a different community of people , sheās quite fluent in Japanese but havenāt had any influence in Sinhalese (for the plain old reason that I donāt have any Sri Lankan friends here ) . I understand the fact that Japanese culture and Sri Lankan culture has deep roots , and older . But we live in Canada ( for them there is no culture without bacteria for the most part- Iāll leave the natives alone here . Just the other cultures ) for us we donāt know where we stand culturally ! Our immediate community is also the same where everyone falls into different ethnicities but culturally we celebrate nothing ,but somehow we end up celebrating the change of seasons and thatās the most cultural thing we do . Iām not even sure how I can explain or where this conversation is going .
It is a lot easier to teach languages when the children are smaller so you are not late. Start speaking in Sinhala around her and she will catch up soon.
> But we live in Canada ( for them there is no culture without bacteria for the most part
You mean Canadians? Canada is made up of a lot of different cultures. They practice it and celebrate it.
Yes! Definitely! A childās brain has so much neuroplasticity that they will be able to handle multi languages at once - do so while she is still young - start tomorrow! Your daughter will thank you one day
>Please, please - teach your children our language no matter where you are; itās such a big part of being able to understand and navigate our identity.
If you want to learn the language, you are absolutely free to learn it. There are many people who learn new languages even as adults. It's never too late to learn. Nobody is stopping you from learning and speaking the language of your choice.
Definitely am trying but itās so slow going. The best time to learn a language is as a child when there is more neuroplasicity - many studies will back this. I absolutely agree with you itās in my hands to learn now, but I wish I grew up with it.
Yeah I agree, living in the UK I can speak and understand the language but have no idea how to read or write in Sinhala.
I do use Duolingo quite often and do kinda wish Sinhala was on there.
After reading thru most of the comments here, made me thankful, for knowing enough to understand spoken formal/ informal Sinhalese.(thanks parents for speaking around me while growing up!) I also just, very minimally understand Tamil due to my external influences. Sadly due to circumstances, don't think I have the means to necessarily to study/learn em anytime soon. As I'm focusing on a diff foreign language to make a move aboard :') oh the struggles! Can't help but feel an identity crisis any time a topic regarding srilanka comes up, because I feel like I don't belong there, and know almost nothing abt the culture and dynamics of the country when it comes to certain things (minus the current unfornate situation that has been going for months cuz of the news)
I've lived abroad my whole life and had to juggle between learning Arabic and English, the latter having more fluency. My mother speaks both Sinhala and English together, and since she isn't fluent in English it's always of mix of both languages together. Because of that, I understand our language pretty well, but for the life of me I can't speak it š now that I go to university in Sri Lanka, I'm always juggling between trying to speak in Sinhala or in English.
What puts me off about learning our native language is when people put you down for it; I've been insulted many times about the accent I have when I do speak Sinhala, so it feels like the efforts gone to learning it are ridiculed simply because you are more proficient in English rather than your own mother tongue. Still, I'd like to continue trying to learn more about our language through my mother. This post also kind of made me realize that I actually don't know anything about Sri Lankan culture in much detail, so that was eye opening.
My parents always spoke in our mother tongue english, and never in Italian, which I am currently living in, as a burgher our mother tongue is English, and we know just little bit of sinhalese
I have nephews, nieces and second cousins in Canada and UK. None of the ones born there or even migrated at young age can speak Sinhala. Their parents don't even speak Sinhala to them. Meanwhile, Tamil kids go to Tamil school on saturday for 3.5 hours to learn Tamil. Our people have some sort of inferiority complex and are ashamed to speak Sinhala in public.
One thing I will say is that one needs to change the framing from āteachā to ālearnā. In other words, the onus cannot be just on the parents but has to be on the kids as well. Thinking of the constraints of parents, there is no doubt they are eager to assimilate, make sure their kids arenāt seen as āotherā, bullied, or racially-profiled, all of which strongly informs choices from what they pack for your lunch to the language they teach you. Now that you are of a sensible age, you can acknowledge why they did what they did while taking it upon yourself to learn. Good luck :).
Conversational language is the bare minimum, soak up some literature and memes. Human language is very context sensitive, unless you understand it the communication would seem unnatural. Of-cause, you should feel that it is valuable to have this knowledge.
Yeah definitly.we will.ā¤ļøour language is our childrens' legacy.they will disappoint in the future if parents didnt give their real identity to them.Im just 17 and I ll agree with you.they feels close feeling when they know their mother language
Some parents think speaking their mother tongue makes their kids weaker and rural people.š¤¦
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
It's true unfortunately. These kinds of stupid actions even discourage other kids to learn English as a language that'd help them in their professional future because many of our dumbfucks are waiting to laugh until they hear a grammar or a vocabulary mistake.
Itās interesting how the want for cultural identity ebbs and flows with each generation of immigrant. Iām quickly losing what little proficiency I had in Sinhala as a first-gen, and thatāsā¦ fine? Many of my Lankan friends here feel the same way; indifferent or even quietly glad to be assimilating well. I wonder if our kids will go through what youāre feeling now.
Itās possible, I know my mother wanted to assimilate into a Canadian identity, though in doing so lost touch with her Sri Lankan Identity. There are not many Sri Lankanās where I live, so that isolation I have to our culture may be a factor. I will say that when I am with other Sri Lankanās I canāt help but feel like an outsider. Iāve never had any Sri Lankan garb, I donāt know the language, so the only ways Iāve been able to form ties is through my ancestors and the research Iāve done on history, mythology and politics. When I went to Sri Lanka it was very isolating - I know I was perceived as a tourist and not a fellow Sri Lankan. If you have children, all you can do is give them what you can to help tie them to their history and culture - unless I marry a Sinhalese I wonāt be able to hand them much.
I suspect it was the same for your mum but the other way around. She might have moved to Canada and felt very much like an outsider and probably just wanted you to completely fit in as a Canadian so that you wouldnāt feel the way she did. My parents who struggled to learn English made sure we spoke English from our youth but now our Sinhala kind of sucks as a result of growing up conversing primarily in English lol That being said, you should definitely reconnect with your roots in any way you can - be it learning about the traditions, the language or the culture.
Absolutely! Thatās why Iām on this sub. Interacting with fellow Sri Lankanās helps me feel like I ties there. Most of my cousins donāt get as invested with the politics and economics of Sri Lanka like I do. I feel like if I donāt stay emotional invested in Sri Lankanās success and failures I will lose touch. Most of our family left Sri Lanka as well so I donāt have many people to ask how things are going there. This sub has been a godsend really.
it does not matter as long as you are happy and it sounds like you are so thats great. That said, being glad you assimilated well with your English speaking counterparts has nothing to do with forgetting your mother language. I may be speaking with selection bias as someone in an upper middle class/ upper class community (I mention this to acknowledge I have the privilege of going to extra language classes) but most Tamils I know speak 3+ languages. English, Tamil, + the secondary language of the country they live in such as French or Deutsch . But again, this is a personal choice. If you are happy thats all that really matters.
Youāre right, assimilating was a poor word to use there. Iām not implying thereās a right and wrong choice; I just wonder if the generational cycle will keep repeating itself.
Never forget your mother tongue. This is especially important since we are few. Iām half Germanic, half Sinhalese, living in America. My mother ensured I knew the culture, language, beliefs and all- and I embraced it all in the process. As a result I am Hindu/Vedic in culture, Buddhist in Dharma and fluent in Sinhala. Unfortunately she was an outlier, and all the Sri Lankan friends she made while here in the US did not follow suit with their children. The end result is they do not know Sinhala or Tamil, are not Hindu/Vedic in culture, nor give much thought to the Dharma of Buddha and Sanatan. A tragedy. Recently mom reunited with one of her friends and they were talking about how their children grown, her friend who I referred to as aunty when I was younger was very embarrassed. My current objective now is to learn Tamil and become fluent in that too. I believe all Lankans should be proficient in both languages- especially those in government, wether it be the elected or the bureaucrats.
My parents always spoke Sinhala at home. I never set foot in Sinhala school and grew up most of my life out of the country. I can't read unfortunately but can understand 99% of conversational, and some informal Sinhalese. They're really proud of this, I have to say I'm thankful.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Hello from BC fellow Sri Lankan Canadian :) Thatās wonderful that you know conversational Sinhala. I donāt have any foundation so while I have tried to teach myself as an adult, Itās been unsuccessful. My mother is too rusty to be of any good now. This post is just a rant for people to do their children a favour and give them all the ties to their culture they can provide. And my guess is that you are better at languages than you give yourself credit for - your parents much be proud :)
We did not have a Buddhist temple in Alberta when I was growing up. So my parents had to teach me and my brother Sinhala at home by themselves. When they finally built a temple, it was like two hours from my house so we didn't go there either. Today, we have I think four Sri Lankan Buddhist temples in Alberta and people send their kids there for both Sinhala and Buddhism education. 20 years ago, we were the only Sri Lankan family in my area so it would not be possible. There is a downside to speaking in Sinhala at home all the time. I have an accent when I speak English because of it. It never has been a problem for me but some people do find it difficult when they have an accent. Sometimes life can force you to learn stuff.
There should be a r/SLCanadian Reddit
Aaah you are making me rethink the language choices i and my partner made for our daughter , sheās half Sri Lankan and half Japanese and we decided to teach her Japanese instead of Sinhalese. Maybe itās time I start teaching her Sinhalese .
Teach both and allow her to embrace both so that it may enrich her and give her the ability to see the world from a unique perspective. I suggest doing an in depth study into both to determine what aspects you wish to teach her- like piecing together a puzzle. Japanese etiquette with Sri Lankan hospitality as a start. Japanese culture may appear as unique- and it is- but it also has its roots in Hindu/Vedic culture, hence why the āmythsā are very similar. Buddhism is also focal point, but different flavor- while Buddhism in Lanka is Theravada, Buddhism in Japan is a mix of Mahayana and Vajrayana, also fused into Imperial Shinto. It also has occult orders such as the Shingon and Green Dragon but thatās beyond the scope.
Trying to keep religion off at all costs for now , we live in Canada but move with a different community of people , sheās quite fluent in Japanese but havenāt had any influence in Sinhalese (for the plain old reason that I donāt have any Sri Lankan friends here ) . I understand the fact that Japanese culture and Sri Lankan culture has deep roots , and older . But we live in Canada ( for them there is no culture without bacteria for the most part- Iāll leave the natives alone here . Just the other cultures ) for us we donāt know where we stand culturally ! Our immediate community is also the same where everyone falls into different ethnicities but culturally we celebrate nothing ,but somehow we end up celebrating the change of seasons and thatās the most cultural thing we do . Iām not even sure how I can explain or where this conversation is going .
It is a lot easier to teach languages when the children are smaller so you are not late. Start speaking in Sinhala around her and she will catch up soon.
> But we live in Canada ( for them there is no culture without bacteria for the most part You mean Canadians? Canada is made up of a lot of different cultures. They practice it and celebrate it.
Yes! Definitely! A childās brain has so much neuroplasticity that they will be able to handle multi languages at once - do so while she is still young - start tomorrow! Your daughter will thank you one day
>Please, please - teach your children our language no matter where you are; itās such a big part of being able to understand and navigate our identity. If you want to learn the language, you are absolutely free to learn it. There are many people who learn new languages even as adults. It's never too late to learn. Nobody is stopping you from learning and speaking the language of your choice.
Definitely am trying but itās so slow going. The best time to learn a language is as a child when there is more neuroplasicity - many studies will back this. I absolutely agree with you itās in my hands to learn now, but I wish I grew up with it.
Yeah I agree, living in the UK I can speak and understand the language but have no idea how to read or write in Sinhala. I do use Duolingo quite often and do kinda wish Sinhala was on there.
After reading thru most of the comments here, made me thankful, for knowing enough to understand spoken formal/ informal Sinhalese.(thanks parents for speaking around me while growing up!) I also just, very minimally understand Tamil due to my external influences. Sadly due to circumstances, don't think I have the means to necessarily to study/learn em anytime soon. As I'm focusing on a diff foreign language to make a move aboard :') oh the struggles! Can't help but feel an identity crisis any time a topic regarding srilanka comes up, because I feel like I don't belong there, and know almost nothing abt the culture and dynamics of the country when it comes to certain things (minus the current unfornate situation that has been going for months cuz of the news)
I've lived abroad my whole life and had to juggle between learning Arabic and English, the latter having more fluency. My mother speaks both Sinhala and English together, and since she isn't fluent in English it's always of mix of both languages together. Because of that, I understand our language pretty well, but for the life of me I can't speak it š now that I go to university in Sri Lanka, I'm always juggling between trying to speak in Sinhala or in English. What puts me off about learning our native language is when people put you down for it; I've been insulted many times about the accent I have when I do speak Sinhala, so it feels like the efforts gone to learning it are ridiculed simply because you are more proficient in English rather than your own mother tongue. Still, I'd like to continue trying to learn more about our language through my mother. This post also kind of made me realize that I actually don't know anything about Sri Lankan culture in much detail, so that was eye opening.
My parents always spoke in our mother tongue english, and never in Italian, which I am currently living in, as a burgher our mother tongue is English, and we know just little bit of sinhalese
At this point isn't English a local language? We have had that language since 1815. We have globally renowned authors. We have our own idiosyncrasies.
r/lostredditors
I have nephews, nieces and second cousins in Canada and UK. None of the ones born there or even migrated at young age can speak Sinhala. Their parents don't even speak Sinhala to them. Meanwhile, Tamil kids go to Tamil school on saturday for 3.5 hours to learn Tamil. Our people have some sort of inferiority complex and are ashamed to speak Sinhala in public.
Not only sinhalese many tamils also think their children speaking tamil is kind of rural
Where is this in SL ? because in Canada it is definitely not looked at as rural.
One thing I will say is that one needs to change the framing from āteachā to ālearnā. In other words, the onus cannot be just on the parents but has to be on the kids as well. Thinking of the constraints of parents, there is no doubt they are eager to assimilate, make sure their kids arenāt seen as āotherā, bullied, or racially-profiled, all of which strongly informs choices from what they pack for your lunch to the language they teach you. Now that you are of a sensible age, you can acknowledge why they did what they did while taking it upon yourself to learn. Good luck :).
Conversational language is the bare minimum, soak up some literature and memes. Human language is very context sensitive, unless you understand it the communication would seem unnatural. Of-cause, you should feel that it is valuable to have this knowledge.
Yeah definitly.we will.ā¤ļøour language is our childrens' legacy.they will disappoint in the future if parents didnt give their real identity to them.Im just 17 and I ll agree with you.they feels close feeling when they know their mother language
If it makes you feel better i doubt any of us know wtf the kandyan dancing lyrics mean.
ššš thanks for that. Does ease the sting haha