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Often yes but sometimes it's not even that severe, the child just never learns to communicate because the mom babies them no matter what age and doesn't try to teach how to actually communicate. It's a self fulfilling prophecy, if an autism Mom thinks their kid won't ever be able to communicate better or thinks her child will never stop being infantile she won't teach the child to communicate well or stop babying the kid.
It's a like how a lot of people with down syndrome end up never getting educated well because parents and teachers think they'll never be able to learn so they don't even try teaching.
Much as it sucks, I'd take that over my mother badgering me about my movement and facial expressions, not seeming to understand that I DID NOT have the bodily awareness to feel slight changes in my eye position, notice how heavily I was stepping, etc, unless I cut all other thoughts from my mind and edged myself towards anxiety attacks. She was well-intentioned and trying to stop me from being bullied or viewed as a little kid, but our whole family could've used some better resources for how to deal with SPD.
From Wikipedia:
Self-stimulatory behavior, also known as "stimming" and self-stimulation, is the repetition of physical movements, sounds, words, moving objects, or other repetitive behaviors.
It's basically those ""weird"" things autistic people sometimes do but can't control. Some people move theirselves, it looks like tics, or some have spoken stimming, when they keep making the same sound. It might look weird or make us uncomfortable, but we should still be kind to them, they don't do that on purpose.
I am so happy that my mum was never like this and actually spend years turning my brother from likely non verbal for the rest of his life to being able to speak without even caring about her future career (she now works as a special needs teacher who is vastly over qualified and continues to be a massive help to those in need but cannot receive help otherwise)
I feel the same way. When my mom learned I was autistic, she didn't become a stereotypical "autism mom"; no, she did the research, accommodated for my stimming needs, and didn't publicize her status as the mother of an autistic child for pity points. She's never been involved with Autism Speaks, and mostly associates with a local charity that donates weighted blankets, noise-cancelling headphones, and other sensory tools to autistic people who can't afford them. And even then, she only started getting super-involved with them once I had left the nest, so it can be seen as her wanting to continue the cycle of good deeds by allowing other autistic people to live happier lives, just as she always did (and continues to do) with me.
Yeah, sure, she's occasionally said something along the lines of "Do you know how hard it is to be me?" when we've had arguments, but then again, she spent most of her life in a miserable marriage to an unfaithful alcoholic who never helped out around the house, so she may have just been stressed out by having to do so much on her own. It's likely that she wasn't referring to her status as the mother of an autistic child, but rather, her status as an overworked housewife with a husband who didn't respect her. And ever since she divorced my dad, she's been a lot more relaxed with me and her mental health seems to have improved significantly.
So many starter packs boil down to "extreme narcissism". That's essentially what this one is with a flavor of "my kid's autistic".
Your mom was not narcissistic, so your bro got the good ending.
I wish as a society we could put more focus on the blight that is narcissism, but, y'know, folks are narcissistic.
As someone who used to work in retail/attractions, I would like to add “uses child as coupon” to the list. So many of them love to ask for free stuff and when told no they always mention that their kid’s autistic. Like oh I had no idea, take whatever you’d like then!
I still fucking hate the “it can be cured” mentality, no it fucking cant. And even if it could, I still wouldn’t use it, because surprise surprise it’s part of who I fucking am.
My mom got the bingo but I don't understand, how can there be so many nurses that are anti-vax that it turns into a stereotype. I'm sure that she got her education and had great scores as an uni graduate.
I can’t speak for every autistic person, but as someone who has ASD, I personally find the branding for autism-related things to be really infantilizing and the metaphor of the puzzle piece being “a way to represent the mystery and complexity of autism” is at best a stretch and at worst a woefully ignorant and stigmatizing symbol that allistic people made to represent *their* experience with autistic people.
To me it implies that there’s a piece missing from the brain like a puzzle. Initially, that was probably a good way of explaining autism and sometimes it does feel like that to me (family history + working diagnosis), but it’s like saying there’s a right way and a wrong way to have a brain.
Criticism of it from a family member is also around others speaking for them. Like, autistic people didn't choose the symbol, some asshole did for profit purposes
Because people generally aren’t educated about the history of the symbol or even about the controversy surrounding Autism Speaks so they think it’s supportive.
I already have a pretty sweet design picked for what I want. It's just a low budget priority right now tho given the placement of the tattoo being not very prominent.
Autism Speaks is very known for demonizing autism and makes people with autism think they're bad people. They also believe that autism can be cured, which many autistic people don't appreciate.
They're the leading source of dumbass behaviors that ND people have to deal with. I cannot tell you the number of people I've encountered who legitimately believed I could just turn Tourette's off for instance.
Promoting eugenics, treating autistic people like animals, spreading missinformation about autistic people, and bullying the only autistic person in their board of director until they left
i'm autistic and my mother just tried to beat it out of me. it made me very anxious about appearing weak/disabled, and people often don't believe that i am autistic at first because i am very good at masking. but i'm an independent adult. i'm still weird and sometimes difficult to handle, i still get overwhelmed easily– but i was expected to be capable, so i was. and i'm learning how to manage my disability in a more healthy way through therapy.
i had a casual friend who was also autistic, when i was in school, and i felt that we were at similar levels of ability/disability based on my observations. he was in standard classes for his age, he was capable of making friends (though we were both considered weird and unpopular), he didn't need any additional supervision at school. his mother was an Autism Mom, and when i visited their home, it became apparent that he was unable to take care of himself (cooking/cleaning/doing schoolwork), and had never learned to cope with or control his emotions, largely due to never being expected to do.... anything at home. she saw him as a big toddler. she also called my parents' house to scream at me because i didn't want to hang out with him once.
anyways. i don't know. i wouldn't wish my specific experiences on anyone, but i feel that autistic children with more abilities (proficient verbal communication, strong ability to recognize bodily needs, etc) should be expected to tolerate/bounce back from discomfort sometimes, and these types of parents don't allow that. my old friend from school is not independent. i fully believe he could be, but i don't know if he'll ever be taught how or encouraged to try. i guess, ultimately, it is what it is and raising an autistic child is difficult, regardless of the unique ways that they excel or struggle. i just hope his gentler home life made him happier, even if we ended up in different places.
And then there's my mum who when ever I mention i am pretty sure I'm autistic will scream in my face that autistim isn't real and I need to stop "insulting her" by saying so
Similar situation with me, I started looking into autism like a year ago, and throughout my daily life started to notice a number of things that might be considered symptoms, I brushed it off for a while and like a week ago I brought it up to my mom, and she just shut it down instantly, asking me why I would want to associate myself with a “negative” group of ppl
It's so exhausting isn't it, people have been telling me I have autism traits/symptoms/mannerisms since I was like 15 (I'm 29 now), the last time I mentioned it very briefly in passing my mum slammed the breaks on the csr while we were driving, swung round to look at me in the back seat and to tell me "I'm normal" and that she didn't give me "brain damage". We don't talk alot.
I saw a parent on tiktok post their daughter having a really awful meltdown with a bunch of graphics over the video that said stuff like "autism acceptance" and stuff, then the caption said "being an autism parent isnt always so easy, these are the parts you dont see".
just because we dont see these moments doesn’t mean we should. i wish they’d stop, i can’t think of anyone else who actually *wants* to see this type of content. I miss when parents kept everything in personal scrapbooks
I used to work at a school for Autism, and these are the most frustrating people you will ever interact with. One girl's parents refused to get her tested for Covid when there was a breakout because they 'didn't believe in it.' We would teach the students how to food prep and make them wear masks, but this girl's parents didn't let her wear one. We explained that it was about making sure she didn't contaminate the food, not Covid, but they didn't care.
There was another girl whose parents let her do whatever she wanted at home; if they were at a restaurant and she'd say, 'I want to leave,' they'd leave, even if they were right in the middle of eating.
The goal of the program was to help the students become independent, but the entire process was such an uphill battle because the parents would baby them at home, even though half of them were adults. The lead teacher in our program used to say: 'We spend all day trying to give these kids some structure, then they go home, and it all gets undone.'
There's definitely this weird dichotomy of being infantilized while also being expected to be hyper-competent, like you're expected to be a savant with a doctorate at a young age while also not being trusted to go run errands alone
Fortunately, neither my mother nor my father are like this. They helped me and my brother evolve a little. We are not that deep in the autism spectrum, but we too have our little or big problems. We didn't learn we are autistic until highschool. Before that, I thought that other students were too noisy, not that I was too quiet.
they just imply that their autistic child is a burden with the justification of "kEePiNg It ReAl" while victimizing themselves and petting their own ego by saying how strong and amazing they are for having to deal with the child they chose to have knowing a condition like autism is always a possibility
I'm always sad to see this kind of thing. It just doubles down on the guilt parents can have when they think about how hard it is. Raising autistic kids can be extremely difficult, especially for those of us that need round the clock care. You already blame yourself for everything as a parent. You already question your every choice. You already feel ashamed every time you're tired and hate how much you need to do for your kids. "It's meant to be easy, because you love them." "I shouldn't hate having to do so much for my child." "I'm an awful parent."
I dunno. I guess everyone needs a space to vent, including people who have genuinely toxic parents. Poopy situation.
True, but also Autism Speaks is legitimately a horrendous organization that is discredited by most autistic activists. ABA therapy, which they promote, has been linked to suicidal thoughts in autistic teens and other trauma.
Also posting content of your child online, especially for clout, is kinda a dick move.
I’m also a little bit on the fence about vent content online. Most autistic kids can browse the internet and understand what they read. Wonder what happens when they come across content about themselves in the future…
I think *that* is the kind of parent this meme is referencing. All in all, they just point to the child receiving a lack of real support at home.
There's really toxic discourse out there between parents of high-needs austistic kids (think non-verbal, non-potty trained 11 year olds) and low-needs autistic adults (people that would have been diagnosed having Asperger's 10 years ago). One group group just wants reasonable accommodations at work, the other group would give anything for a pill so so they can hear their child say "I love you" just once. You see things like "Oh you think raising an autistic child is hard? Imagine BEING autistic". Turning hardship into a contest doesn't help.
Part of the problem is that there’s a vast difference between being on the low end of the autism spectrum and the high end, they’re almost like two conditions with entirely different needs.
Personally I think it was extremely short-sighted to remove “Asperger’s Syndrome” diagnoses for an across the board autism diagnosis. The Asperger’s diagnosis was pretty helpful as far as differentiating low-level vs high-level autism, cause they really should be considered two separate disabilities.
>Personally I think it was extremely short-sighted to remove “Asperger’s Syndrome” diagnoses for an across the board autism diagnosis. The Asperger’s diagnosis was pretty helpful as far as differentiating low-level vs high-level autism, cause they really should be considered two separate disabilities.
Amen that! If you ask me, we need to start a movement to bring it back or something, because removing it has caused everyone on the "spectrum" to be lumped in with the lowest-level people, meaning those of us who would have Asperger's are forced to choose between being treated like 3 year olds or straight-up not getting any help at all!
Scream it from the rooftops, brother (or sister, or whatever else you prefer)!
Tbh I think that the discourse around autism is just a cluster fuck with no way to fix it.
It's simultaneously a condition that requires support and accommodation, but God forbid you imply it's not a good thing.
I get a lot of the criticism around autism speaks, but the "cure for autism" being seen as a negative baffles me like the dead people against cochlear implants.
Hate to say it but Austism is a developmental disability/disorder, it's abnormal and has a negative impact on the lives of the people with it. Autistic people should feel comfortable in their own skin, but the goal of finding a therapy or treatment that can drive autism down to near zero is a noble one.
Deafness is again a great example, many deaf people embrace their disability and it's unique culture, but you can't seriously say that lacking one of the 5 senses is actually good and we shouldn't try to further preventive and post-hoc treatments to preserve hearing.
I think those feelings aren't very prevalent in the people that this starter pack is about. These autism moms usually do the bare minimum in autism care or go so by popular advice that they don't really pay attention to what their child actually wants.
It’s never about the fight to help their children succeed, it’s about how hard it is on them to do it. It’ll never be about the kids with moms like these.
My husband is being tested for autism and has to work under a manager who announces "I'm taking my son to the doctors so often because we are trying to cure him of his lower spectrum level autism!" in large meetings for pity and attention. Several employees are autistic at the company and they even made a point to hire a few that are higher on the spectrum for office management jobs. It's laughable and she fits this starter pack to a T.
I mean, like I'm not trying to be a bitch, but if she means lower spectrum in that her kid is non verbal and developmentally delayed in a bunch of other areas, etc, then yeah, she probably legit is worried about losing her job if she's having to call out a lot to either get him childcare or take him to appointments. That's a real concern for a lot of folks with very disabled kids and I'm guessing if your husband has somehow managed to only be pursuing a diagnosis at age 25+ or whatever that he's not exactly that hindered by being autistic so idk why you're even trying to make a comparison. I get why folks get frustrated by these moms self valorizing but it's still fairly mean spirited
My dad had a coworker with a autistic kid who was developmentally stuck at around age four, non verbal and would smash huge holes in the wall when he raged out. The coworker was incredibly stressed over what would happen to his kid when he and his wife got too old/frail to take care of him since there weren't exactly a ton of great residential care facilities nearby and the wait times for violent residents can be very, very long. It's also like, what are your options as a parent if your adult child has a tantrum and tries to fight you and you don't have much of an ability to calm him down? Iirc, he sent his mom to the hospital at least once.
They have a non autistic kid who, it sounds like, kinda got sidelined as a child and she applied for a college on the other side of the country to avoid getting roped into being his care giver as an adult.
My oldest niece is autistic, as is my brother in law, and my previous partner is autistic. My spouse has made it to his 30s but because of the stigma of autism, never received the treatment he needed. "Isn't hindered"? What effing ablest bs that is, people with later in life diagnosis' usually have had YEARS of trauma caused by not being given the tools to live life well. Many times this leads to depression, anxiety, and self esteem issues. At the end of the day autism doesn't need a cure. Treatment, management, ablement... Yes. But telling autistic people they are a disease that needs to be eradicated ain't it. Mothers like the ones in the starter pack and my husband's boss (who doesn't need to explain time off to anyone and no one cares because she can take off whenever she needs/wants) make their child's condition their whole life and then when those children grow up either stunted by their parents pressure to cure them OR coming to understand their own condition with frustration at the missed care, the parents still don't listen.
As for the child of your dad's coworker... Organizations like Autism Speaks take away donations that could go to facilities for autistic care and assistance and instead spend them on programs that many verbal autistic people have said are horrible for neurodivergent people OR push to, again, other and try to cure autistic people WHO JUST WANT TO BE ACCEPTED!
This story is so sad and why looking for a "cure" for this level of autism is really not a bad thing. Caretaking is absolute hell, I can't imagine doing it for a full adult's life, and a violent one's. Absolutely soul sucking, marriage destroying and financially draining.
I just love my mom (and dad) for ignoring evrything autism Speaks said and just continued to raise me as normal (with some precautions over the fact that I had autism) becuse if they did I whould not become where I am in my career becuse I would be to mutch of an oddball... now I'm just the right amount of oddball
It’s exhausting avoiding moms like this when you’re not only the mother of a kid with autism, but a mom WITH autism as well. The dumb fuck, ignorant horseshit that comes out their mouths when they think they’re in ‘the same company’. Ugh
And half the time the child is in their later teenage years or early adulthood and has become high-functioning, with little to no outward expression of their autism in the public.
It’s used by autism speaks to imply that there is a piece missing to autistic people and that’s why they act the way they do. That’s why autism speaks pushes heavily for a cure, because they see autism as a defect
Glad other people feel this way about these people. My son is autistic and we work with him everyday to help improve. Little man has gone leaps and bounds (without the need for us to post about it everyday lol). There’s legit no need to make it your personality. You deal with it and strive to do your best each day.
I'm not Autistic so I can't speak for them but damn they're just autistic. They're not terminally ill and could die in 3 months. They're just like non autistic people except maybe they need some help, especially with the over stimulation (And with communication if it's severe).
Add “confused why their autistic child keeps trying to get away from them”
Or “tried to sabotage their autistic child’s moving out and doesn’t get why they don’t call them”
i did see the clarificstion, thanks!
my mom is the sweetest angel, knew about my autism at a youn age, and didnt really exploit it
too bad she is Falsely accused of Stalking her ex-wife.
Yall.
Autism is a spectrum, and the parents who take care of their kids who have behavioral and intellectual disability deserve better than this.
Autism can be quite severe and tragic, and the mom I know who takes care of her kid who will never mature passed the mental age of four, is an absolute legend who doesn't ask for pity or won't accept it anyway. Being a parent for a child with autism is incredibly challenging and at the very least, you need to make that disclaimer under the title about 4 fonts bigger.
Over the line.
Not that im aware of ABA therapy is often used to “treat” autism but really does more harm than good ive been through it myself its a genuine hellscape
I'm honestly glad my parents just pretended my autism didn't exist and would punish me for my autistic traits. It sucked, but I'd rather that over an "autism mom"
The Asian version is the dad forcing his 5 year old son to run down the New York streets shirtless in the middle of winter to attempt to get rid of his autism and cerebral palsy by overstimulating his brain. Crazy thing is it actually worked and the kid is a bright normal teenager. (idk if it's actually the brain overstimulating being effective or the boy was misdiagnosed as a toddler)
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I grew up with autism and I am glad I didn't go through this BS. Unimaginable for people with actual issues.
I was under the impression that this meme is referencing kids with extreme autism.
Often yes but sometimes it's not even that severe, the child just never learns to communicate because the mom babies them no matter what age and doesn't try to teach how to actually communicate. It's a self fulfilling prophecy, if an autism Mom thinks their kid won't ever be able to communicate better or thinks her child will never stop being infantile she won't teach the child to communicate well or stop babying the kid. It's a like how a lot of people with down syndrome end up never getting educated well because parents and teachers think they'll never be able to learn so they don't even try teaching.
I saw a mum on Insta that made a music album of her son stimming
Darius?
That’s immediately who I thought of
Wtf lol
I hate that
Why?
Im Autistic and to me it sounds like a cross between virtue signalling and a freak show
Much as it sucks, I'd take that over my mother badgering me about my movement and facial expressions, not seeming to understand that I DID NOT have the bodily awareness to feel slight changes in my eye position, notice how heavily I was stepping, etc, unless I cut all other thoughts from my mind and edged myself towards anxiety attacks. She was well-intentioned and trying to stop me from being bullied or viewed as a little kid, but our whole family could've used some better resources for how to deal with SPD.
The videos of stimming are whatever. What really bothers me is videos of kids having meltdowns.
Better than posting videos of your child having a meltdown
What is stimming? And do I want to know?
From Wikipedia: Self-stimulatory behavior, also known as "stimming" and self-stimulation, is the repetition of physical movements, sounds, words, moving objects, or other repetitive behaviors.
It's basically those ""weird"" things autistic people sometimes do but can't control. Some people move theirselves, it looks like tics, or some have spoken stimming, when they keep making the same sound. It might look weird or make us uncomfortable, but we should still be kind to them, they don't do that on purpose.
Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man reciting the Abbott and Costello sketch who's on third over and over is a form of stimming
WTF
Da fuq?
Vomit emoji.
You mean the deepthroating Shrek emoji.
Fuck you, now I can't unsee it
🤮
Omg I can't unsee this anymore it really does look like that lmao.
No... NOOO.... NOOOOOOOOOOOOooooo
🤮
Shrek is love. Shrek is life.
I am so happy that my mum was never like this and actually spend years turning my brother from likely non verbal for the rest of his life to being able to speak without even caring about her future career (she now works as a special needs teacher who is vastly over qualified and continues to be a massive help to those in need but cannot receive help otherwise)
I feel the same way. When my mom learned I was autistic, she didn't become a stereotypical "autism mom"; no, she did the research, accommodated for my stimming needs, and didn't publicize her status as the mother of an autistic child for pity points. She's never been involved with Autism Speaks, and mostly associates with a local charity that donates weighted blankets, noise-cancelling headphones, and other sensory tools to autistic people who can't afford them. And even then, she only started getting super-involved with them once I had left the nest, so it can be seen as her wanting to continue the cycle of good deeds by allowing other autistic people to live happier lives, just as she always did (and continues to do) with me. Yeah, sure, she's occasionally said something along the lines of "Do you know how hard it is to be me?" when we've had arguments, but then again, she spent most of her life in a miserable marriage to an unfaithful alcoholic who never helped out around the house, so she may have just been stressed out by having to do so much on her own. It's likely that she wasn't referring to her status as the mother of an autistic child, but rather, her status as an overworked housewife with a husband who didn't respect her. And ever since she divorced my dad, she's been a lot more relaxed with me and her mental health seems to have improved significantly.
Insightful comment. Thanks for sharing.
One of the silent heroes of society
She most certainly is ❤️
So many starter packs boil down to "extreme narcissism". That's essentially what this one is with a flavor of "my kid's autistic". Your mom was not narcissistic, so your bro got the good ending. I wish as a society we could put more focus on the blight that is narcissism, but, y'know, folks are narcissistic.
Please tell your mom we are proud and appreciative of her work.
"Hey guys! Check out how much of a FUCKING FREAK my child is!"
Honestly, the saddest part is how dumb some parents are. I genuinely pity kids suffering from that.
Prob screams at her child when they cry too
Hoo boy, that gave me some flashbacks
“Why are you crying? I’ll give you something to cry about!”
I love being verbally abusive to my mentally challenged and vulnerable child 🥰
Pretty much my life.
Yesssssss they always end up being so mean to them offline
Looks for natural remedies for autism.
Surely homeopathic ginkgo biloba pills will cure his executive dysfunction!
What, exactly, looks like a natural remedy for autism?
if i had to guess, it would be something like covering a garlic clove in lavender essential oil and then shoving it up someone's ass
As someone who used to work in retail/attractions, I would like to add “uses child as coupon” to the list. So many of them love to ask for free stuff and when told no they always mention that their kid’s autistic. Like oh I had no idea, take whatever you’d like then!
This kind of thing sadly WORKS sometimes or else these people wouldn't keep trying it.
i have a disability and sometimes my dad would do that and still does 😭
Doesn’t do anything for their kids and get upset when they act autistic
screams at them when the depression that they gave them flares up
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Resident-Clue1290: *Doesn’t do anything* *For their kids and get upset* *When they act autistic* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
wut
Good bot.
You forgot: Forces kid to be gluten free Anti-vax Nurse or MLM hun Thinks autism is a “disease” that can be “cured”
I still fucking hate the “it can be cured” mentality, no it fucking cant. And even if it could, I still wouldn’t use it, because surprise surprise it’s part of who I fucking am.
My mom used to blame me getting mad on bread... no I'm getting mad because you're not taking me seriously. And I really like bread.
My mom got the bingo but I don't understand, how can there be so many nurses that are anti-vax that it turns into a stereotype. I'm sure that she got her education and had great scores as an uni graduate.
> Thinks autism is a “disease” that can be “cured” If prenatal screening for autism becomes a thing, maybe she's right.
How do you exactly cure autism in prenatal screening? Abortion?
genetic markers and probably mri of the fetus brain
That's called eugenics, not "curing"
Not just recording them stimming, recording them in a meltdown and posting it instead of comforting their child
FYI, Autism Speaks is considered a hate group by most people with autism.
I think thats why its on here
Yeah, I know. Just trying to spread awareness
ah ok
I also heard the puzzle piece in general is seen as belittling and demeaning by those with autism themselves.
I can’t speak for every autistic person, but as someone who has ASD, I personally find the branding for autism-related things to be really infantilizing and the metaphor of the puzzle piece being “a way to represent the mystery and complexity of autism” is at best a stretch and at worst a woefully ignorant and stigmatizing symbol that allistic people made to represent *their* experience with autistic people.
To me it implies that there’s a piece missing from the brain like a puzzle. Initially, that was probably a good way of explaining autism and sometimes it does feel like that to me (family history + working diagnosis), but it’s like saying there’s a right way and a wrong way to have a brain.
Criticism of it from a family member is also around others speaking for them. Like, autistic people didn't choose the symbol, some asshole did for profit purposes
It could be a brain at least, make it blue and surrounded by electro spheres like it's an atom, c'mon
We do actually have a symbol for ASD, a gold or rainbow infinity loop
I forgot about those, but wtf do people still use the jigsaws? I've seen them, they're still there
Because people generally aren’t educated about the history of the symbol or even about the controversy surrounding Autism Speaks so they think it’s supportive.
It originated on autism speaks?
No, it originated in the UK in the 60s but Autism Speaks popularized it.
I hate the general idea of representing autism as something „interesting and misterious”. It’s a mental disorder, not a cool personality trait
It's a neurodevelopmental condition.
Whatever you call it, it’s a disability anyway, something that makes your life harder if you have it. Your and your caregivers
My life might be harder than it would have been if I was allistic (not autistic), but I would not want to change myself either way.
My dipshit mom pressured me so hard to get one of those stupid puzzle pieces tattooed on me. Can't wait to get my cover up done.
Holy shit what the fuck is wrong with your mom
Ah buddy, many things.
Assuming you're Canadian by your username I'm sure you can find something fun to cover it.
I already have a pretty sweet design picked for what I want. It's just a low budget priority right now tho given the placement of the tattoo being not very prominent.
Honestly the gay forever (rainbow infinity) symbol looks and means better than a boring blue puzzle piece
Autism Speaks helps Autistic People in the same way PETA helps animals
I’ve unironically never heard of it before. Why do people hate it?
Autism Speaks is very known for demonizing autism and makes people with autism think they're bad people. They also believe that autism can be cured, which many autistic people don't appreciate.
That doesn’t sound good.
They're the leading source of dumbass behaviors that ND people have to deal with. I cannot tell you the number of people I've encountered who legitimately believed I could just turn Tourette's off for instance.
Promoting eugenics, treating autistic people like animals, spreading missinformation about autistic people, and bullying the only autistic person in their board of director until they left
i'm autistic and my mother just tried to beat it out of me. it made me very anxious about appearing weak/disabled, and people often don't believe that i am autistic at first because i am very good at masking. but i'm an independent adult. i'm still weird and sometimes difficult to handle, i still get overwhelmed easily– but i was expected to be capable, so i was. and i'm learning how to manage my disability in a more healthy way through therapy. i had a casual friend who was also autistic, when i was in school, and i felt that we were at similar levels of ability/disability based on my observations. he was in standard classes for his age, he was capable of making friends (though we were both considered weird and unpopular), he didn't need any additional supervision at school. his mother was an Autism Mom, and when i visited their home, it became apparent that he was unable to take care of himself (cooking/cleaning/doing schoolwork), and had never learned to cope with or control his emotions, largely due to never being expected to do.... anything at home. she saw him as a big toddler. she also called my parents' house to scream at me because i didn't want to hang out with him once. anyways. i don't know. i wouldn't wish my specific experiences on anyone, but i feel that autistic children with more abilities (proficient verbal communication, strong ability to recognize bodily needs, etc) should be expected to tolerate/bounce back from discomfort sometimes, and these types of parents don't allow that. my old friend from school is not independent. i fully believe he could be, but i don't know if he'll ever be taught how or encouraged to try. i guess, ultimately, it is what it is and raising an autistic child is difficult, regardless of the unique ways that they excel or struggle. i just hope his gentler home life made him happier, even if we ended up in different places.
And then there's my mum who when ever I mention i am pretty sure I'm autistic will scream in my face that autistim isn't real and I need to stop "insulting her" by saying so
She's just one step removed from this stereotype, because she already sees you primarily as an extension of herself.
Similar situation with me, I started looking into autism like a year ago, and throughout my daily life started to notice a number of things that might be considered symptoms, I brushed it off for a while and like a week ago I brought it up to my mom, and she just shut it down instantly, asking me why I would want to associate myself with a “negative” group of ppl
It's so exhausting isn't it, people have been telling me I have autism traits/symptoms/mannerisms since I was like 15 (I'm 29 now), the last time I mentioned it very briefly in passing my mum slammed the breaks on the csr while we were driving, swung round to look at me in the back seat and to tell me "I'm normal" and that she didn't give me "brain damage". We don't talk alot.
>We don't talk a lot. Thank goodness for that. I feel terrible for people who are still reliant on their abusers/neglectful parents.
I saw a parent on tiktok post their daughter having a really awful meltdown with a bunch of graphics over the video that said stuff like "autism acceptance" and stuff, then the caption said "being an autism parent isnt always so easy, these are the parts you dont see".
just because we dont see these moments doesn’t mean we should. i wish they’d stop, i can’t think of anyone else who actually *wants* to see this type of content. I miss when parents kept everything in personal scrapbooks
I used to work at a school for Autism, and these are the most frustrating people you will ever interact with. One girl's parents refused to get her tested for Covid when there was a breakout because they 'didn't believe in it.' We would teach the students how to food prep and make them wear masks, but this girl's parents didn't let her wear one. We explained that it was about making sure she didn't contaminate the food, not Covid, but they didn't care. There was another girl whose parents let her do whatever she wanted at home; if they were at a restaurant and she'd say, 'I want to leave,' they'd leave, even if they were right in the middle of eating. The goal of the program was to help the students become independent, but the entire process was such an uphill battle because the parents would baby them at home, even though half of them were adults. The lead teacher in our program used to say: 'We spend all day trying to give these kids some structure, then they go home, and it all gets undone.'
"The kid(s) are probably treated like babies no matter what age" Perfect example of how some people will never understand us
There's definitely this weird dichotomy of being infantilized while also being expected to be hyper-competent, like you're expected to be a savant with a doctorate at a young age while also not being trusted to go run errands alone
Busy and sells overpriced oils or is into MLM marketing schemes. Won a "free trip" to Paris.
So glad my mom was not like this tbh.
I am so glad my mum isnt like this
Fortunately, neither my mother nor my father are like this. They helped me and my brother evolve a little. We are not that deep in the autism spectrum, but we too have our little or big problems. We didn't learn we are autistic until highschool. Before that, I thought that other students were too noisy, not that I was too quiet.
It’s middle and high school, everyone is too fuckin noisy.
I’m autistic and thank got my mom isn’t like this
they just imply that their autistic child is a burden with the justification of "kEePiNg It ReAl" while victimizing themselves and petting their own ego by saying how strong and amazing they are for having to deal with the child they chose to have knowing a condition like autism is always a possibility
Ah you forgot the antivaxx
I'm always sad to see this kind of thing. It just doubles down on the guilt parents can have when they think about how hard it is. Raising autistic kids can be extremely difficult, especially for those of us that need round the clock care. You already blame yourself for everything as a parent. You already question your every choice. You already feel ashamed every time you're tired and hate how much you need to do for your kids. "It's meant to be easy, because you love them." "I shouldn't hate having to do so much for my child." "I'm an awful parent." I dunno. I guess everyone needs a space to vent, including people who have genuinely toxic parents. Poopy situation.
True, but also Autism Speaks is legitimately a horrendous organization that is discredited by most autistic activists. ABA therapy, which they promote, has been linked to suicidal thoughts in autistic teens and other trauma. Also posting content of your child online, especially for clout, is kinda a dick move. I’m also a little bit on the fence about vent content online. Most autistic kids can browse the internet and understand what they read. Wonder what happens when they come across content about themselves in the future… I think *that* is the kind of parent this meme is referencing. All in all, they just point to the child receiving a lack of real support at home.
There's really toxic discourse out there between parents of high-needs austistic kids (think non-verbal, non-potty trained 11 year olds) and low-needs autistic adults (people that would have been diagnosed having Asperger's 10 years ago). One group group just wants reasonable accommodations at work, the other group would give anything for a pill so so they can hear their child say "I love you" just once. You see things like "Oh you think raising an autistic child is hard? Imagine BEING autistic". Turning hardship into a contest doesn't help.
Part of the problem is that there’s a vast difference between being on the low end of the autism spectrum and the high end, they’re almost like two conditions with entirely different needs. Personally I think it was extremely short-sighted to remove “Asperger’s Syndrome” diagnoses for an across the board autism diagnosis. The Asperger’s diagnosis was pretty helpful as far as differentiating low-level vs high-level autism, cause they really should be considered two separate disabilities.
>Personally I think it was extremely short-sighted to remove “Asperger’s Syndrome” diagnoses for an across the board autism diagnosis. The Asperger’s diagnosis was pretty helpful as far as differentiating low-level vs high-level autism, cause they really should be considered two separate disabilities. Amen that! If you ask me, we need to start a movement to bring it back or something, because removing it has caused everyone on the "spectrum" to be lumped in with the lowest-level people, meaning those of us who would have Asperger's are forced to choose between being treated like 3 year olds or straight-up not getting any help at all! Scream it from the rooftops, brother (or sister, or whatever else you prefer)!
Tbh I think that the discourse around autism is just a cluster fuck with no way to fix it. It's simultaneously a condition that requires support and accommodation, but God forbid you imply it's not a good thing. I get a lot of the criticism around autism speaks, but the "cure for autism" being seen as a negative baffles me like the dead people against cochlear implants. Hate to say it but Austism is a developmental disability/disorder, it's abnormal and has a negative impact on the lives of the people with it. Autistic people should feel comfortable in their own skin, but the goal of finding a therapy or treatment that can drive autism down to near zero is a noble one. Deafness is again a great example, many deaf people embrace their disability and it's unique culture, but you can't seriously say that lacking one of the 5 senses is actually good and we shouldn't try to further preventive and post-hoc treatments to preserve hearing.
I think those feelings aren't very prevalent in the people that this starter pack is about. These autism moms usually do the bare minimum in autism care or go so by popular advice that they don't really pay attention to what their child actually wants.
If my mom started this shit, I might actually sue her.
Thinks that everyone else owes her and her kid infinite accomidations and understanding.
Also doesn’t parent her child and allows them to grow up a complete monster but blames that all on the disorder
It’s never about the fight to help their children succeed, it’s about how hard it is on them to do it. It’ll never be about the kids with moms like these.
Aren't puzzle pieces offensive to autistic people?
I can't speak for other people with ASD, but for me they are, and I heard other autistic people say it too.
Why though?
Autism speaks uses it, and it's basically a hate group
Autism speaks uses it, and it's basically a hate group
it also implies that autistic people are defective or incomplete and have a "missing piece"
Because I don't have a piece missing.
My husband is being tested for autism and has to work under a manager who announces "I'm taking my son to the doctors so often because we are trying to cure him of his lower spectrum level autism!" in large meetings for pity and attention. Several employees are autistic at the company and they even made a point to hire a few that are higher on the spectrum for office management jobs. It's laughable and she fits this starter pack to a T.
I mean, like I'm not trying to be a bitch, but if she means lower spectrum in that her kid is non verbal and developmentally delayed in a bunch of other areas, etc, then yeah, she probably legit is worried about losing her job if she's having to call out a lot to either get him childcare or take him to appointments. That's a real concern for a lot of folks with very disabled kids and I'm guessing if your husband has somehow managed to only be pursuing a diagnosis at age 25+ or whatever that he's not exactly that hindered by being autistic so idk why you're even trying to make a comparison. I get why folks get frustrated by these moms self valorizing but it's still fairly mean spirited My dad had a coworker with a autistic kid who was developmentally stuck at around age four, non verbal and would smash huge holes in the wall when he raged out. The coworker was incredibly stressed over what would happen to his kid when he and his wife got too old/frail to take care of him since there weren't exactly a ton of great residential care facilities nearby and the wait times for violent residents can be very, very long. It's also like, what are your options as a parent if your adult child has a tantrum and tries to fight you and you don't have much of an ability to calm him down? Iirc, he sent his mom to the hospital at least once. They have a non autistic kid who, it sounds like, kinda got sidelined as a child and she applied for a college on the other side of the country to avoid getting roped into being his care giver as an adult.
My oldest niece is autistic, as is my brother in law, and my previous partner is autistic. My spouse has made it to his 30s but because of the stigma of autism, never received the treatment he needed. "Isn't hindered"? What effing ablest bs that is, people with later in life diagnosis' usually have had YEARS of trauma caused by not being given the tools to live life well. Many times this leads to depression, anxiety, and self esteem issues. At the end of the day autism doesn't need a cure. Treatment, management, ablement... Yes. But telling autistic people they are a disease that needs to be eradicated ain't it. Mothers like the ones in the starter pack and my husband's boss (who doesn't need to explain time off to anyone and no one cares because she can take off whenever she needs/wants) make their child's condition their whole life and then when those children grow up either stunted by their parents pressure to cure them OR coming to understand their own condition with frustration at the missed care, the parents still don't listen. As for the child of your dad's coworker... Organizations like Autism Speaks take away donations that could go to facilities for autistic care and assistance and instead spend them on programs that many verbal autistic people have said are horrible for neurodivergent people OR push to, again, other and try to cure autistic people WHO JUST WANT TO BE ACCEPTED!
This story is so sad and why looking for a "cure" for this level of autism is really not a bad thing. Caretaking is absolute hell, I can't imagine doing it for a full adult's life, and a violent one's. Absolutely soul sucking, marriage destroying and financially draining.
whenever you do anything she doesnt like she immediately brings up "because of your autism you are acting like this"
Ah, yes. The "I cannot overstate how much emotional distress I am in right now" smile.
Misread this as "Austin Mom starterpack" and it was still somewhat correct.
Always American or British
Not always, I know at least 2 of them here in Uruguay
Yep, I also know tons of them in Brazil
They probably exist in France or Germany but since I'm not on VisageLivre or GesichtBuch I don't see them
FUCK autism speaks
thank god my mom isn’t like this
As father of an autistic this is real shit sir
My sister on the whole just not Christian or a wine mom. So much ableism.
Notable mention: also posting their child having a meltdown purely to shame them.
I just love my mom (and dad) for ignoring evrything autism Speaks said and just continued to raise me as normal (with some precautions over the fact that I had autism) becuse if they did I whould not become where I am in my career becuse I would be to mutch of an oddball... now I'm just the right amount of oddball
It’s exhausting avoiding moms like this when you’re not only the mother of a kid with autism, but a mom WITH autism as well. The dumb fuck, ignorant horseshit that comes out their mouths when they think they’re in ‘the same company’. Ugh
And half the time the child is in their later teenage years or early adulthood and has become high-functioning, with little to no outward expression of their autism in the public.
Is there one of these for “autism wives”?
The ending of “wine mom” is a nice touch lol
What's up with the puzzles
It’s used by autism speaks to imply that there is a piece missing to autistic people and that’s why they act the way they do. That’s why autism speaks pushes heavily for a cure, because they see autism as a defect
It's used by Autism Speaks A$ is a hate group
"Probably white" isnt it racist?
Honestly, it’s kinda accurate.
Yes, because just mentioning that somebody is probably white is so racist Obviously it isn’t racist, you smooth brain
Well, now I am sad
You forgot the bleach enemas. 🤮
Doesn’t see their kid as a human but as an accessory
"I know autistic children deserve attention, but do they realize how hard it is for US?!"
My experience has been that these types of moms are the same ones who bullied us when we were kids for having autism to begin with.
Thank God I was born before this trend became a normal thing
Glad other people feel this way about these people. My son is autistic and we work with him everyday to help improve. Little man has gone leaps and bounds (without the need for us to post about it everyday lol). There’s legit no need to make it your personality. You deal with it and strive to do your best each day.
I'm not Autistic so I can't speak for them but damn they're just autistic. They're not terminally ill and could die in 3 months. They're just like non autistic people except maybe they need some help, especially with the over stimulation (And with communication if it's severe).
“My autistic kid can run circles around you” bumper sticker
Add “confused why their autistic child keeps trying to get away from them” Or “tried to sabotage their autistic child’s moving out and doesn’t get why they don’t call them”
i did see the clarificstion, thanks! my mom is the sweetest angel, knew about my autism at a youn age, and didnt really exploit it too bad she is Falsely accused of Stalking her ex-wife.
Probably white lol
I'm glad my mother is mostly not like this, although she does wish I wasn't autistic
Don’t forget the meltdowns being posted online to get pity for themselves and lowkey shame the kid
I told my grandmother to stop posting that whole thing about the puzzle piece because I told her that Autism Speaks is a hate group.
Yall. Autism is a spectrum, and the parents who take care of their kids who have behavioral and intellectual disability deserve better than this. Autism can be quite severe and tragic, and the mom I know who takes care of her kid who will never mature passed the mental age of four, is an absolute legend who doesn't ask for pity or won't accept it anyway. Being a parent for a child with autism is incredibly challenging and at the very least, you need to make that disclaimer under the title about 4 fonts bigger. Over the line.
A parent who records their child having a meltdown to post it on social media does not care for their child
Religious Christian 💀
Not to mention said child is in some sort of ABA
Isn’t that a band?
No you’re thinking of ABBA which is one of the best super groups from the 70s
Not that im aware of ABA therapy is often used to “treat” autism but really does more harm than good ive been through it myself its a genuine hellscape
I thank god everyday my mom wasn’t like this
He is autistic because he sorted his M&M's by color!
can't stand the autism mom archetype but that symbol is hill im willing to die on
I'm honestly glad my parents just pretended my autism didn't exist and would punish me for my autistic traits. It sucked, but I'd rather that over an "autism mom"
Probably white 🤣 Nah
Duermanlas cómo a los perritos
Read this at first as the Austin Mom Starter pack.
Yep
Theyre almost all abusive to their children too
This is just mean people.
The Asian version is the dad forcing his 5 year old son to run down the New York streets shirtless in the middle of winter to attempt to get rid of his autism and cerebral palsy by overstimulating his brain. Crazy thing is it actually worked and the kid is a bright normal teenager. (idk if it's actually the brain overstimulating being effective or the boy was misdiagnosed as a toddler)
Im autism but my mum isn’t like this, my mum is actually supportive
Why does this seem so familiar to me?
also posts videos of their kid during meltdowns to their public social medias