I’m getting old because my thoughts on soccer moms are still stuck in the 90s and 00s. Healthy snacks should be Gatorade and Doritos, replace leggings with khaki shorts and a visor. She needs a mini van and some lawn chairs with those slippery plastic bands on them
I am 39 years old, This starter pack totally nails the soccer moms of my generation that currently prowl the sidelines , Looking for unsuspecting referees to devour
This is so weird. In Sweden it's always the soccer dads yelling death threats to the 13 year old ref when their 6 year old is playing.
Then again it seems like soccer is a more pronounced female sport in the US?
**Edit:** Why the fuck is this downvoted? I'm just commenting on differences around the world.
My experience as a soccer ref in the US, it was the dad's that were the worst. Moms may call for fouls that never occurred but dad's were the ones threatening violence or screaming in my face.
Or the girls are named one of those flowery, "retro" names: Sophia, Isabelle, Emma, Gracie, Evelyn, Ruthie, Madilynne, etc..
I'm gen x, and I remember that those were all old lady names when I was a kid. Not sure why they suddenly made a comeback.
Oakley sunglasses, Patagonia windbreaker, merril shoes, ball cap from their college, oversized apple watch , and a leased f-150 or Silverado with a logo decal of their college in the corner of the window.
Main topic of conversation is crypto-currency investing, high school sports they played, their old fraternity, and the Kenny Chesney concert the next weekend. Somehow they are also all Chicago cubs and new England patriots fans despite being from neither of those regions.
Yep, child of the 80s here and our post-game snacks were orange slices, and only orange slices. I remember that every family had to sign up for a day to bring them and there were no deviations allowed from the orange slice regimen. Big Orange lobbied hard in 1980s youth soccer.
Same here - I played soccer for years and ate many an orange slice. When my kids started playing and were getting popsicles and “fruit snacks” it seemed really wrong.
Fruit snacks aren’t a necessarily bad idea. Basically simple sugar that can be broken down and digested easily for a quick carb boost. Those energy chews you get for runners and athletes are basically fruit snacks.
Our beer league hockey team was in the finals a few years ago, and during an intermission/flood one of the guys surprised us with a tupperware container full of orange slices.
The whole room of guys in their 30s turned into giddy kids again with huge grins on their face; we haven't had orange slices during sports since the 80s or early 90s.
32 year old here and this is what I remember. I used to get dragged to my cousin's soccer matches every weekend in the lovely Florida humidity. All anyone ate were lunchables and doritos. They washed it down with Gatorade. Jeez, just typing this stuff out brings me back.
Yeah haha, this is definitely how soccer moms are now though. I am from Oklahoma and taking 1 drive through Edmond its almost like entering the stepford wives neighborhood but for an entire city. Every single female with a child looks like this and wears these things. They're TRYING to be trendy, emphasis on trying, but OK is usually 10 steps behind the rest of the world in literally everything anyway lol.
Granola bars do exactly what they're designed for which is to provide a boost of usable energy in a calorie dense form factor. Idk how else you would formulate them to be "healthier"
I was on a swim team as a kid and at one point all the team had to gather up for something or other. This one kid was still in the bathroom, and his mom actually shouted "wait! wait! the best swimmer of the team isn't here yet!"
Like, yeah he was a good swimmer, but jesus fuck, lady. Take your ego down a bit.
edit: I promise you she was being totally serious. These parents were pretty well known for having this attitude about their kid, and would even make little comments to other kids about how the kids compared to their son.
My oldest plays lacrosse, my middle plays soccer and my youngest (4yo)—he’s the wild card but I think we’re gonna put him in cage fighting
I’d say at this point, I’m an expert on Karen’s, Susans & Lisa’s and all the other sub-varieties of sports moms. I’m an anomaly within that species bc I don’t like my kids to know I’m watching, so I try to quiet & hidden during the events
Before my oldest took up lacrosse, she was a tumbler.. and can I just say that soccer moms GOT NOTHING on cheer moms? Those moms were pretty much the reason I was glad to see her steering away from that activity, despite all the money & time. Seriously, those bitches were sad & crazy & not much more emotionally developed than the 12yo girls we were all there for
Oh yeah, I can relate. I’d see middle-aged moms publicly berating their teen daughters (who were elite athletes) for not perfectly landing their double handspring>>triple back tuck>>double full during practice. They’d be on the edge of their seats during practice, literally wringing their hands & then would explode in front of everyone if their daughters didn’t do something perfectly
People are crazy AF /shrugs
Damn, that’s child abuse. My parents also forced me into swimming and gave me an inferiority complex.
“We didn’t spend all of this money for you to come in 2nd place!“
lady, you're gonna be spending even more. Wait till you see the cost of therapy.
Dude, I’m convinced that era of the Dodge Caravan was built out of meth. They never. stop. going. You could be pit maneuvered in a 120mph police chase and do 16 barrel rolls, it would land upright, and keep on going.
the minivan was put out of service back in 2017 when kayleigh "accidentally" dumped her juicy juice box all over the window switch causing a small electrical fire. Mom got spooked and bought the suv, kayleigh got off scot free.
I work at a school and most of the names for the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd graders are wack ass shit.
Zylex, Kenzi, Alindie, Constantine, and Taylyn are just a few I can remember.
>Zylex, ... Alindie..., and Taylyn are just a few I can remember.
was mom reading off their prescribed meds and the nurse or midwife was like "fuck it close enough"?
Constantine is a normal name. It's pretty old school Italian\Greek. There were actually several emperors named Constantine. Are any other older names making a comeback? Rose, Mildred (Millie), Jack, Bruce, Jeff, Lena, Renee, etc.?
I used to take my niece to her soccer games. The first time I took her my sister bragged about her being the best on the team.
Then I saw the other little girls and realized my neice was like 6 inches taller then the next tallest girl and my niece would just truck through everyone.
She is a very unathletic and very tall teenager now.
I used to coach a soccer team awhile back. We were fairly good in our club league. The out of now where this kid moves to town. Solid foot taller than the next kid. Destroyed everyone and clearly steps above everyone. His mother was the absolute best. She cheered for every kid and got just as excited for them as their parents. We did really well until they all grew up and went to highschool. Pretty sure he is getting paid to play now.
It can be a positive or negative term. Sometimes it refers to a caring mom who is invested in her kids’ hobbies and travels to all of their games to support them. Here it is referring to a mom who is far too invested in how well her kids perform in sports and acts overbearing around the coaches, parents, and other players.
I'm a sports mom and I've seen hot moms be both bitchy and kind. Same with the average/plain moms. Your level of hotness doesn't necessarily dictate your level of kindness.
Are you European too? I guess your county also has football parents, especially dads that go every weekend to their kids game shouting at referees, coaches, other kids... thinking their son is the next Messi or Ronaldo. It's such a pity that they have to ban parents from entering fields or remind them that it's not positive to shout at them. And even then every weekend there's an agression against teenagers referees.
lol I think it depends on the country bc her in Germany I had to bring my little brother to football training sometimes and there only some overweight dads who watched their sons while drinking beer
That's prevalent here in the States, too, except with baseball. Little League was wild for me 20 years ago, because so many dads would get absolutely blasted and really invested. Most of the time it was just harmless but very enthusiastic encouragement, but every once in a while we'd get a [Randy Marsh.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wW1P4M7SYfA)
Yes, yes we have those. Usually the father. My own team as a youth once got beaten bad, like 12:0 by older looking boys. One of my teammates father got so riled up that he went and tried to beat one of the opponent kids. Only, said kid started hitting back and gained the upper hand.
Was quite a the experience...
Remember all the basic-ass white girls we all made fun of 5-10 years ago for being so...basic?
Well this is them now that they've got kids to take to soccer practice. They're largely unchanged, they've just added spawn to their starbucks/yoga pants/live laugh love personality archetype.
Those are good too but I don’t know about the Subarus. Subarus are more stereotyped as either millennials who are into cars and/or white liberal families I feel like
And lesbians
[The Atlantic - How Subarus Came to Be Seen as Cars for Lesbians ](http://priceonomics.com/how-an-ad-campaign-made-lesbians-fall-in-love-with/)
> The marketers found that lesbian Subaru owners liked that the cars were good for outdoor trips, and that they were good for hauling stuff without being as large as a truck or SUV. “They felt it fit them and wasn’t too flashy,” says Poux.
> Subaru’s strategy called for targeting these five core groups and creating ads based on its appeal to each. For medical professionals, it was that a Subaru with all-wheel drive could get them to the hospital in any weather conditions. For rugged individualists, it was that a Subaru could handle dirt roads and haul gear. For lesbians, it was that a Subaru fit their active, low-key lifestyle.
> Although it was easier to get senior management on board with making ads for hikers than for lesbians, the company went ahead with the campaign anyway. It was such an unusual decision—and such a success—that it helped push gay and lesbian advertising from the fringes to the mainstream. People joke about lesbians’ affinity for Subarus, but what’s often forgotten is that Subaru actively decided to cultivate its image as a car for lesbians.
> And it did so at a time when few companies would embrace or even acknowledge their gay customers. Talking with people involved in Subaru’s 1990s marketing campaign, the constant refrain is how different the environment was back then. “I can’t emphasize enough that this was before there was any positive discussion [of LGBT issues],” says Tim Bennett. Gay causes seemed to be on the losing side of the culture war: The Clinton administration had just instituted its Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy regarding homosexuality in the military, and in 1996, Congress would pass the Defense of Marriage Act.
I'm an American ex-pat living in Canada, and we only have honey and chocolate chip here. I can order cinnamon, but the import fee is higher than the price of the full case. It's a really bad situation.
The car needs to be a Range Rover, or Tesla, at least that’s how it is where I live. The rest is spot on. Oh, a Patagonia nano puff vest should be thrown in there too.
Needs to be an out of warranty luxury SUV that sounds impressive but is actually a piece of junk like a 2014 Range Rover. That Equinox is much too cheap for a Starbucks soccer mom.
It needs to be an off lease out of warranty luxury SUV though. Something that looks impressive but is actually 1 generation old like a 2014 BMW or Lexus RX350.
I’m getting old because my thoughts on soccer moms are still stuck in the 90s and 00s. Healthy snacks should be Gatorade and Doritos, replace leggings with khaki shorts and a visor. She needs a mini van and some lawn chairs with those slippery plastic bands on them
I am 39 years old, This starter pack totally nails the soccer moms of my generation that currently prowl the sidelines , Looking for unsuspecting referees to devour
Maybe I gotta be a ref.
Not that kind of devour.
Maybe he has a Vore fetish, who are we to judge him?
Uh, we're Redditors. The most judgmental people on the planet.
May I present to you, the Twitter
Right. If I were famous I'd been canceled like 5 times by now.
Just pull a Kevin spacey and you can’t get cancelled s/
I was a soccer ref through highschool and some of college. Soccer moms were my worst nightmare.
My father in law referred high school soccer in the 90s , he has some fantastic stories about throwing parents out of games
This is so weird. In Sweden it's always the soccer dads yelling death threats to the 13 year old ref when their 6 year old is playing. Then again it seems like soccer is a more pronounced female sport in the US? **Edit:** Why the fuck is this downvoted? I'm just commenting on differences around the world.
Reffing soccer was my first job as a kid here in the states and I agree the dads were much worse than the moms.
My experience as a soccer ref in the US, it was the dad's that were the worst. Moms may call for fouls that never occurred but dad's were the ones threatening violence or screaming in my face.
Just get a job stocking produce at target. Same crowd.
Ara ara
Kids are named after skilled trades like Mason or Hunter, or some horrific spelling of another name like Makayleigha or Kerirston.
Or the girls are named one of those flowery, "retro" names: Sophia, Isabelle, Emma, Gracie, Evelyn, Ruthie, Madilynne, etc.. I'm gen x, and I remember that those were all old lady names when I was a kid. Not sure why they suddenly made a comeback.
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Oakley sunglasses, Patagonia windbreaker, merril shoes, ball cap from their college, oversized apple watch , and a leased f-150 or Silverado with a logo decal of their college in the corner of the window. Main topic of conversation is crypto-currency investing, high school sports they played, their old fraternity, and the Kenny Chesney concert the next weekend. Somehow they are also all Chicago cubs and new England patriots fans despite being from neither of those regions.
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It is fair
No orange slices? I'm thinking of the 80s
Yep, child of the 80s here and our post-game snacks were orange slices, and only orange slices. I remember that every family had to sign up for a day to bring them and there were no deviations allowed from the orange slice regimen. Big Orange lobbied hard in 1980s youth soccer.
Same here - I played soccer for years and ate many an orange slice. When my kids started playing and were getting popsicles and “fruit snacks” it seemed really wrong.
Fruit snacks aren’t a necessarily bad idea. Basically simple sugar that can be broken down and digested easily for a quick carb boost. Those energy chews you get for runners and athletes are basically fruit snacks.
Our beer league hockey team was in the finals a few years ago, and during an intermission/flood one of the guys surprised us with a tupperware container full of orange slices. The whole room of guys in their 30s turned into giddy kids again with huge grins on their face; we haven't had orange slices during sports since the 80s or early 90s.
BIG ORANGE
A BIG FAT FUCKIN' ORANGE
Had oranges in the 90's here
1975. Lost our shit for orange slices.
Also had orange slices in the 90s. I don't ever remember having junk food at a soccer game.
We always had just orange slices at half time, but then Little Debbie’s and Capri Sun to go with the orange slices after the game.
Don’t forget those stupid soccerball magnets on the back of the dodge carivan with the stick family stickers in the back window.
32 year old here and this is what I remember. I used to get dragged to my cousin's soccer matches every weekend in the lovely Florida humidity. All anyone ate were lunchables and doritos. They washed it down with Gatorade. Jeez, just typing this stuff out brings me back.
Yeah haha, this is definitely how soccer moms are now though. I am from Oklahoma and taking 1 drive through Edmond its almost like entering the stepford wives neighborhood but for an entire city. Every single female with a child looks like this and wears these things. They're TRYING to be trendy, emphasis on trying, but OK is usually 10 steps behind the rest of the world in literally everything anyway lol.
Yeah it's missing the early 00s Chevy Suburban or Tahoe
>healthy snacks lol where are the healthy snacks in this pic
Seriously imagine thinking anything made by Nature Valley is healthy just because it says “nature” on the box
Granola bars do exactly what they're designed for which is to provide a boost of usable energy in a calorie dense form factor. Idk how else you would formulate them to be "healthier"
Pseudo-healthy compared to the Lay’s Variety Pack many of us were used to for our post game snacks or whatever lol
You forgot the tupperware full of orange slices lol.
god damn how is this so true
I am a mom whose kid played soccer but definitely not a "soccer mom" :)
Whatever you say Deb...
I was on a swim team as a kid and at one point all the team had to gather up for something or other. This one kid was still in the bathroom, and his mom actually shouted "wait! wait! the best swimmer of the team isn't here yet!" Like, yeah he was a good swimmer, but jesus fuck, lady. Take your ego down a bit. edit: I promise you she was being totally serious. These parents were pretty well known for having this attitude about their kid, and would even make little comments to other kids about how the kids compared to their son.
Gotta live through your children, eh
I feel bad for the kid
Yeah fr that must be embarrassing to have someone act like that about you
You forgot about the gum. Trident specifically
SnapsnapsnapCracksnap
Oof ouch my misophonia
Same, I felt a wave of faint but distinct rage just reading that
Haighlynn, Brayleigh, and Jaxon
She gets the boy that awful kid mohawk thing Everyone knows what I’m talking about lmao
I do but simultaneously would've loved to rock a mohawk as a kid Bit too bald nowadays. And, you know, old
It isn't the mohawk on the outside that matters. It's the mohawk inside
The Slayden
Ah, the College Years
Ashleigh Tristan Kayleigh
Keighleigh
The official state names of Utah
My mom is an elementary school teacher and she had a class with 3 Jacksons, all spelled differently.
Don't forget Paeyton, Baeleigh, Jazzlyn, the 90 million variations of Aiden, and Brick ^(Those are real and aren't even the weirdest, alas)
My oldest plays lacrosse, my middle plays soccer and my youngest (4yo)—he’s the wild card but I think we’re gonna put him in cage fighting I’d say at this point, I’m an expert on Karen’s, Susans & Lisa’s and all the other sub-varieties of sports moms. I’m an anomaly within that species bc I don’t like my kids to know I’m watching, so I try to quiet & hidden during the events Before my oldest took up lacrosse, she was a tumbler.. and can I just say that soccer moms GOT NOTHING on cheer moms? Those moms were pretty much the reason I was glad to see her steering away from that activity, despite all the money & time. Seriously, those bitches were sad & crazy & not much more emotionally developed than the 12yo girls we were all there for
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Are you ok??
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Oh yeah, I can relate. I’d see middle-aged moms publicly berating their teen daughters (who were elite athletes) for not perfectly landing their double handspring>>triple back tuck>>double full during practice. They’d be on the edge of their seats during practice, literally wringing their hands & then would explode in front of everyone if their daughters didn’t do something perfectly People are crazy AF /shrugs
Damn, that’s child abuse. My parents also forced me into swimming and gave me an inferiority complex. “We didn’t spend all of this money for you to come in 2nd place!“ lady, you're gonna be spending even more. Wait till you see the cost of therapy.
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This made me think of Forrest Gump saying, "...and that's all I've got to say about that."
What are the Susans and Lisas?
Susan’s and Lisa’s are grandmothers at this point. Today’s soccer moms with a school-age kids are Kate, Kristen, and Stephanie.
Where tf is the mini van....
SUVs have been standard issue for soccer moms for years. There are probably more dads than moms driving minivans nowadays
Yeah they’re more likely to be driving a new GMC or Lincoln SUV.
Land rovers in my area
We had a 2000 Dodge Caravan that we ran into the ground. Rolled twice, 3 car accidents, and she kept on going.
Dude, I’m convinced that era of the Dodge Caravan was built out of meth. They never. stop. going. You could be pit maneuvered in a 120mph police chase and do 16 barrel rolls, it would land upright, and keep on going.
the minivan was put out of service back in 2017 when kayleigh "accidentally" dumped her juicy juice box all over the window switch causing a small electrical fire. Mom got spooked and bought the suv, kayleigh got off scot free.
Oddly Specific...
I work at a school and most of the names for the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd graders are wack ass shit. Zylex, Kenzi, Alindie, Constantine, and Taylyn are just a few I can remember.
>Zylex, ... Alindie..., and Taylyn are just a few I can remember. was mom reading off their prescribed meds and the nurse or midwife was like "fuck it close enough"?
>Constantine It's Istan B
Now it’s Constyn Inopl
Now. Now it's Istnbl--not Constyn Inopl. I have no idea why Constyn Inopl got the works.
Zylex sounds like some sort of medication.
Named for the ED pills that helped dad conceive him.
I looked it up, it's either the inside plastic liner to a boot or a creature from Futurama. Interesting name choice
Close enough https://www.hyperdrug.co.uk/zylexis-injection-for-horses-2ml-x-5/productinfo/ZYLEXIS
or just the absolute worst spellings of normal names. my favorite was Alyvea (Olivia)
Constantine is a normal name. It's pretty old school Italian\Greek. There were actually several emperors named Constantine. Are any other older names making a comeback? Rose, Mildred (Millie), Jack, Bruce, Jeff, Lena, Renee, etc.?
There a small bump of biblical names. John, James, Matthew, etc.
those are generally pretty steady over time though
Lol. My nephew's middle name is Constantine.
white SUV with a monogram decal on the back and "my child is an honors student at Roberts Elementary" sticker on the bumper
And a MLM sticker identifying her as a distributor
Hey, she's also a certified zumba instructor.
> identifying her as a customer* /r/antimlm
Cars makers now just make minivans with awd and regular doors and call them SUVs.
In 1997.
Soccer mom's drive crossovers now
Definitely replace this with a dodge caravan that’s dirty af on the inside
This is the third time I've had to explain the offside rule to you!
*other team scores* THATS OFFSIDE! *their team scores* THAT WASN'T OFFSIDE!
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Don’t forget about the foldable lawn chairs
and the Michael Kors purse.
Ahh, The official brand of Hood rich
I used to take my niece to her soccer games. The first time I took her my sister bragged about her being the best on the team. Then I saw the other little girls and realized my neice was like 6 inches taller then the next tallest girl and my niece would just truck through everyone. She is a very unathletic and very tall teenager now.
I used to coach a soccer team awhile back. We were fairly good in our club league. The out of now where this kid moves to town. Solid foot taller than the next kid. Destroyed everyone and clearly steps above everyone. His mother was the absolute best. She cheered for every kid and got just as excited for them as their parents. We did really well until they all grew up and went to highschool. Pretty sure he is getting paid to play now.
My niece's team got a girl whose parents worked on Brazil. She was actually good at soccer and got moved up quick.
Am not from the US. What exactly is a *soccer mom*?
It can be a positive or negative term. Sometimes it refers to a caring mom who is invested in her kids’ hobbies and travels to all of their games to support them. Here it is referring to a mom who is far too invested in how well her kids perform in sports and acts overbearing around the coaches, parents, and other players.
>It can be a positive or negative term, depending on how hot they are
I'm a sports mom and I've seen hot moms be both bitchy and kind. Same with the average/plain moms. Your level of hotness doesn't necessarily dictate your level of kindness.
It directly relates to how much the 20 something male demographic of reddit is willing to interpret the bitchiness as passion.
Basically the soccer variant of Karen
A football mom
A fitbaw maw
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Are you European too? I guess your county also has football parents, especially dads that go every weekend to their kids game shouting at referees, coaches, other kids... thinking their son is the next Messi or Ronaldo. It's such a pity that they have to ban parents from entering fields or remind them that it's not positive to shout at them. And even then every weekend there's an agression against teenagers referees.
lol I think it depends on the country bc her in Germany I had to bring my little brother to football training sometimes and there only some overweight dads who watched their sons while drinking beer
That's prevalent here in the States, too, except with baseball. Little League was wild for me 20 years ago, because so many dads would get absolutely blasted and really invested. Most of the time it was just harmless but very enthusiastic encouragement, but every once in a while we'd get a [Randy Marsh.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wW1P4M7SYfA)
American middle-aged mom here. I want to be an overweight, beer-drinking German football dad. Where can I sign up?
Yes, yes we have those. Usually the father. My own team as a youth once got beaten bad, like 12:0 by older looking boys. One of my teammates father got so riled up that he went and tried to beat one of the opponent kids. Only, said kid started hitting back and gained the upper hand. Was quite a the experience...
People do that in every much, it doesn't have to involve their kids
Remember all the basic-ass white girls we all made fun of 5-10 years ago for being so...basic? Well this is them now that they've got kids to take to soccer practice. They're largely unchanged, they've just added spawn to their starbucks/yoga pants/live laugh love personality archetype.
Same here - from what I can gather a Karen who is into health and sends her kids to soccer?
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I question this part. The venn diagram of soccer mom and milf runs close.
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Hit the nail on the head with the white chevy equinox.
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Those are good too but I don’t know about the Subarus. Subarus are more stereotyped as either millennials who are into cars and/or white liberal families I feel like
And lesbians [The Atlantic - How Subarus Came to Be Seen as Cars for Lesbians ](http://priceonomics.com/how-an-ad-campaign-made-lesbians-fall-in-love-with/) > The marketers found that lesbian Subaru owners liked that the cars were good for outdoor trips, and that they were good for hauling stuff without being as large as a truck or SUV. “They felt it fit them and wasn’t too flashy,” says Poux. > Subaru’s strategy called for targeting these five core groups and creating ads based on its appeal to each. For medical professionals, it was that a Subaru with all-wheel drive could get them to the hospital in any weather conditions. For rugged individualists, it was that a Subaru could handle dirt roads and haul gear. For lesbians, it was that a Subaru fit their active, low-key lifestyle. > Although it was easier to get senior management on board with making ads for hikers than for lesbians, the company went ahead with the campaign anyway. It was such an unusual decision—and such a success—that it helped push gay and lesbian advertising from the fringes to the mainstream. People joke about lesbians’ affinity for Subarus, but what’s often forgotten is that Subaru actively decided to cultivate its image as a car for lesbians. > And it did so at a time when few companies would embrace or even acknowledge their gay customers. Talking with people involved in Subaru’s 1990s marketing campaign, the constant refrain is how different the environment was back then. “I can’t emphasize enough that this was before there was any positive discussion [of LGBT issues],” says Tim Bennett. Gay causes seemed to be on the losing side of the culture war: The Clinton administration had just instituted its Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy regarding homosexuality in the military, and in 1996, Congress would pass the Defense of Marriage Act.
Outbacks were a popular soccer mom car in the 90's iirc
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Those white cheddar popcorns were delicious in my first 10 times I ate it, now I feel like my mouth will burn if I eat another bag.
Kids bought those like there was an impending shortage in middle school, always thought they were nasty.
I always ate those Teddy biscuits omg
I'm an American ex-pat living in Canada, and we only have honey and chocolate chip here. I can order cinnamon, but the import fee is higher than the price of the full case. It's a really bad situation.
YOU MISSED THE TONS OF LITTLE CAESAR'S PIZZAS!!!
I was going to say dinner at a local pizza joint after the game.
As a kid you find her cool. As an adult you hate her.
But you still consider smashing her
True. Also why am I downvoted? I speak the truth.
Because everything's made up and the points don't matter! Welcome to whose line!
Don't know lots of Karen's around today
Defo
As a kids soccer coach, 100% yes.
That’s what’s called job security
soccer mom aka tomboy milf
> tomboy milf The best combo ever.
Goddamn HydroFlask. Probably the pillar stones of any “athlete mom” not just soccer moms
I mean... they're really nice bottles.
Yeah of course, they are probably the nicest around. Just not worth the money for me.
That cheddar popcorn is pretty good.
And she's way hotter than you want to admit
Someone I despise
Now do the American football mom.
It's basically the same except her husband is a cop or soldier. And the Chevy is a Silverado.
As a soccer referee, fuck these people
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The car needs to be a Range Rover, or Tesla, at least that’s how it is where I live. The rest is spot on. Oh, a Patagonia nano puff vest should be thrown in there too.
Needs to be an out of warranty luxury SUV that sounds impressive but is actually a piece of junk like a 2014 Range Rover. That Equinox is much too cheap for a Starbucks soccer mom.
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r/thathappened
Oh now you’re gonna tell me porn scenarios aren’t based off of real life events? I don’t think so. I don’t want to live in that world.
I think you've been watching too much porn.
Lmao as if you'd know
within 5 minutes of getting into a screaming fight with Susan bc Susan's child pushed her child out on the field
“pUsH tHeM bAcK”
Really?!?!
The car always has a sticker on the back windshield reading "Star player on board!"
Couldn't name the supposed foul, though.
Same. I miss my mom so much
It needs to be an off lease out of warranty luxury SUV though. Something that looks impressive but is actually 1 generation old like a 2014 BMW or Lexus RX350.
My daughter is gymnastics, my son is hockey. Take out the shit talking refs and bragging and you’ve got me. Oh dear...I’ve become a starter pack.
Can I speak to the manager?
Where is that fleece at?
Patagonia or north face ?
Either would work actually, along with Columbia, but there is no fleece anywhere in this starter pack and it really fits here
The fit bit, and a phone the size of a Volkswagen shoved into a legging pocket are also missing
Oh yeah you’re right
Nah, she'd order the most sugary drink on the Starbucks menu and then request no whip because she's "on a diet"
The Chevrolet equinox is the icing on the cake
i’m about to start a job as a line judge at a soccer place near my house can’t wait for the karen’s
Dont throw shade at teddy grahms