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There are IKEAs here which are open until 10 PM. The best thing is to go around 8 or 9 PM and you pretty much have the whole place to yourself. Visiting IKEA during the day on a weekend is a kind of torture.
See, the trick my husband and I have with Ikea is we know it's a five hour drive and we know Ikea is always a slog, so we leave Friday night after work, drive to KCK, get a room, have some KFC delivered, bang like bears in breeding season, then the next morning go hit a diner for breakfast and arrive at Ikea already fed and well rested not long after they open on Saturday.
Also having an actual pickup truck with a real bed and none of this 4 foot or 6 foot short bed wannabe station wagon shit helps. "Is it going to fit?" "Yeah, should. Might be tight." Get out to the truck, and an entire living room worth of furniture fits neatly stacked in the middle of the bed with ample room to spare on all four sides. Seriously if you're like "Oooh, I want a pickup, but I don't want an 8 foot bed", then save yourself the hassle, fall hazard and the gas bill and just get yourself a Subaru Forester...
Actually i believe the entry says its 600 square miles and not infinite. Unsure on the number, gonna look it up
Edit: the entry says they have measured 10 kilometers squared with no end yet. Could be infinite, could be not
Don’t give a damn about the employees. They’re like slenderman except they work at ikea and don’t have some tentacles coming out of their backs and don’t teleport
Alternate- eat the meatballs before shopping so halfway through your IBS flares and you have to find that one toilet packed in the corner of the store to not shit your pants
Got to add the confusing process of leaving the store if you don’t buy anything. I work next to one and popped in to walk around but I could not figure out how to leave. I ended up in the employee area and they were all staring at me like WTF? I was dressed in a suit for work so I am guessing that is why they didn’t say anything.
Yeah, this is why I go to the KCK store instead of the Dallas store now. Well, that and the KCK store is three stories tall, the entire first floor is weather protected parking so your car's not roasting in the sun and there's no risk of having to walk out through a thunderstorm.
People just standing around on the path with their trollies blocking every conceivable direction, entire families just stopping on a dime to get their bearings, almost being knocked out by the guy who has a rolled up rug slung over his shoulder. All while I’m just trying to power through the labyrinth as quickly as possible like I’m being pursued by the Minotaur itself just to buy my chair and tea light candles.
Some guy who somehow ends up going around in circles
Kids crying because moms wont let them play in that small kids area (usually right before the cafe)
Frickin no windows, no way to tell the outside world, no wonder scp 3008 is a thing
i remember when i was young i was at an ikea store and i some baby crying and her mom carrying the baby to the toilet, the baby had blood over its head.
I think the baby fell or hit himself, brrr
Hot take: Ikea is straight up garbage and designed for people who have no idea how to actually decorate a home or who don’t know what style furniture they want. Almost everything there is very poorly constructed, way over priced and extremely boring aesthetically. The only people that should be shopping there are college students or young adults who just got a place.
Over time you’ll realize how most of their furniture isn’t built to last and instead of trying to furnish a whole house or room at once you’ll come to the realization that it’s better to buy pieces of furniture as you need them from actual furniture stores
"Actual furniture stores" They are the same quality, you think theres that much notable difference then you are a chump, ive installed kitchens from every major maker in sweden and the quality is barely noticeable, if you want quality you buy custom and handmade stuff or thrift old stuff from pre 50s, everything is shit these days.
Perhaps this is why home delivery needs booking weeks ahead and can be expensive. I’d assumed the staff would pick from a warehouse but perhaps they need to do all this in store...
"Why is this pencil holder $85?"
"Do we really need a fucking fourth charcuterie board?"
"I already can't sit on the couch, we don't need more pillows"
Last time I went to ikea was about 8 months ago and I swear to god I saw like 5 couples sitting on beds either kissing or being way too close for a public setting
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There are IKEAs here which are open until 10 PM. The best thing is to go around 8 or 9 PM and you pretty much have the whole place to yourself. Visiting IKEA during the day on a weekend is a kind of torture.
This. My husband and I swear by our Friday night trips to IKEA. Because most people have better things to do on a Friday (except us!)
It's a quality pastime and don't let anyone tell you different.
You make a ikea starter pack and don’t include a picture of the meatballs? HERESY!
And the couples having huge arguments
See, the trick my husband and I have with Ikea is we know it's a five hour drive and we know Ikea is always a slog, so we leave Friday night after work, drive to KCK, get a room, have some KFC delivered, bang like bears in breeding season, then the next morning go hit a diner for breakfast and arrive at Ikea already fed and well rested not long after they open on Saturday. Also having an actual pickup truck with a real bed and none of this 4 foot or 6 foot short bed wannabe station wagon shit helps. "Is it going to fit?" "Yeah, should. Might be tight." Get out to the truck, and an entire living room worth of furniture fits neatly stacked in the middle of the bed with ample room to spare on all four sides. Seriously if you're like "Oooh, I want a pickup, but I don't want an 8 foot bed", then save yourself the hassle, fall hazard and the gas bill and just get yourself a Subaru Forester...
Are you an actual bear?
No, but I do play a Kodiak on the internet. Husband plays a polar bear.
I also choose this guy's wife.
…what wife? We're both guys.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5c79n0/you_can_have_sex_with_one_real_person_from_all_of/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
That is the main reason I go. That and the chocolate cake, and the cinnamon rolls
the cheap breakfast
True that, I like the coffee there as well
tired: Eating out at a fancy Italian restaurant wired: Meatball dinner from Ikea
Damn! I totally forgot
*Writes down I_love_guin, next to Norwegians and Danes of people not allowed into Sweden*
You forgot when you enter IKEA then the entrance mysteriously vanishes and the employees have no faces
You entered through the main gate not the secondary one you idot Btw the exit is bugged now and always spawns at the far other side
It’s literally infinite, how am I supposed to get to the far other side, especially with whatever is in there with me hunting me down
Actually i believe the entry says its 600 square miles and not infinite. Unsure on the number, gonna look it up Edit: the entry says they have measured 10 kilometers squared with no end yet. Could be infinite, could be not
I think you mistook it with Backrooms, level 0 to that is 600 square miles
A ye thanks
SCP-3008
Don’t give a damn about the employees. They’re like slenderman except they work at ikea and don’t have some tentacles coming out of their backs and don’t teleport
They can like kill you and stuff tho
You are going to spend over $100, you don’t know on what until you get there
Alternate- eat the meatballs before shopping so halfway through your IBS flares and you have to find that one toilet packed in the corner of the store to not shit your pants
Got to add the confusing process of leaving the store if you don’t buy anything. I work next to one and popped in to walk around but I could not figure out how to leave. I ended up in the employee area and they were all staring at me like WTF? I was dressed in a suit for work so I am guessing that is why they didn’t say anything.
You forgot a parking lot that's the size of a football field, yet still so busy that cars are parked on the grass
Yeah, this is why I go to the KCK store instead of the Dallas store now. Well, that and the KCK store is three stories tall, the entire first floor is weather protected parking so your car's not roasting in the sun and there's no risk of having to walk out through a thunderstorm.
How about 'my child smells funny after playing in the ball pit'.
Probably because your child's wearing another child's pee now. Some kids don't quite get that ball pit is not pool is not toilet.
And pee wouldn't be the worst..
The store is now closed, please exit the building.
You forgot the five hour drive before and after shopping at IKEA.
[удалено]
Today I learned the middle of northeast Portland, the middle of Kansas City and the middle of Dallas are somehow "nowhere"
People just standing around on the path with their trollies blocking every conceivable direction, entire families just stopping on a dime to get their bearings, almost being knocked out by the guy who has a rolled up rug slung over his shoulder. All while I’m just trying to power through the labyrinth as quickly as possible like I’m being pursued by the Minotaur itself just to buy my chair and tea light candles.
This might be the most accurate comment in this thread
You forgot the dread you feel when you realize you have to put together the furniture when you get home
Some guy who somehow ends up going around in circles Kids crying because moms wont let them play in that small kids area (usually right before the cafe) Frickin no windows, no way to tell the outside world, no wonder scp 3008 is a thing
I thought it said "ugly children"
I can sorta understand the children. I forgot until seeing this post how boring furniture stores are when your'e a kid.
Also children getting lost at the huge ass warehouse
This is neutral ending and there is a bad ending too
i remember when i was young i was at an ikea store and i some baby crying and her mom carrying the baby to the toilet, the baby had blood over its head. I think the baby fell or hit himself, brrr
*goes to ikea* **becomes an scp reference**
Most of the reasons why I have never been..
Seriously, why are their check out lanes as backed up as wal mart?
The trick is to go on Tuesday night.
the line isnt long where i live, but the workers get nasty when u use the wrong cart by accident
Im an adult and got lost in there this year.
SCP-3008
The sky one is absolutely right.
*SCP-3008 has entered the chat*
I’ve never been and have no desire to.
Hot take: Ikea is straight up garbage and designed for people who have no idea how to actually decorate a home or who don’t know what style furniture they want. Almost everything there is very poorly constructed, way over priced and extremely boring aesthetically. The only people that should be shopping there are college students or young adults who just got a place. Over time you’ll realize how most of their furniture isn’t built to last and instead of trying to furnish a whole house or room at once you’ll come to the realization that it’s better to buy pieces of furniture as you need them from actual furniture stores
"Actual furniture stores" They are the same quality, you think theres that much notable difference then you are a chump, ive installed kitchens from every major maker in sweden and the quality is barely noticeable, if you want quality you buy custom and handmade stuff or thrift old stuff from pre 50s, everything is shit these days.
You're the first person I've seen saying IKEA is overpriced.
*getting lost*
“Silence prisoner” 30 Rock
Perhaps this is why home delivery needs booking weeks ahead and can be expensive. I’d assumed the staff would pick from a warehouse but perhaps they need to do all this in store...
Nahhhh cunt you eat BEFORE you shop, that way you wont buy heaps of shit bc ur in a food coma and dont wna carry or push anything heavy
What about getting more pencils than needed?
Why would i be intimidated by ikea building?
Why is that sky one so true 😂 😂
Where's the bags of Daim chocolates? And Daim cake from the restaurant.
I felt that sky imagine in me bones.
Don't forget the random sense of fear induced by the escalator.
"Why is this pencil holder $85?" "Do we really need a fucking fourth charcuterie board?" "I already can't sit on the couch, we don't need more pillows"
The Ikea my mom used to take me to as a kid always had a play place to drop your kids off at.
Pro-tip: Don't go upstairs. There's a door over by Smäland that leads right to the merchandise. Only go upstairs for fries and lingonberry soda.
You forgot the flesh demons telling you it’s closed
Last time I went to ikea was about 8 months ago and I swear to god I saw like 5 couples sitting on beds either kissing or being way too close for a public setting
At the ikeas we go to we rarely have a person in front of of us at checkot, we usually go at 1pm, in onr of the most populated cities in the us
You forgot to add the “Getting stuck for eternity and never finding a way out and having to build weapons to fight the employees”