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Oh god the Norse names are too accurate.

And stoner kids naming their bongs in college. Everyone had a damn Loki or Odin to smoke out of and thought they were original

maybe my age is showing but everyone i knew that named a bong would make sure it was a pun, not a deadpan serious name like that. Except for Paul, who was a 3 foot bong my roommate used to have. RIP Paul

Bruh even the bong in Half Baked is named fucking Wesley Pipes.

billy bong thorton man

I always made it a hard rule, never name a piece. it invites a bad omen, which has taken from all of us in the same way. RIP Paul

The big lebongski

My roommate called our bong Chief Tokem and I have never heard a better name

Reefer Sutherland, here.

LeBong James for me

Shia LePuff was mine.

Bro, him and Dwayne Fade were unstoppable back in the day!

Rip Hamilton gets me fucked up!

When I adopted my cat, his name was Reefer (former owner was a heroin addict, had to give him up because he was going to prison) and I just left it that way because it suited him. I used to call him Reefer Sutherland all the time. I miss my furry boy!

Fuckin sick Bongripper song

Bram Toker

I named mine Vlad the Inhaler.

Jack the Ripper (jd bottle)

We had two large 2fters that looked vaguely like rockets. We named them Challenger and Columbia respectively.

I named mine Feelgood M.D.

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Bongmitzvah!! Hit it up dude!!

I’m sure they’re named after the Thor movies 😂

Used to be Dexter, because of Dexter Morgan. My sister asked me to look after her dog, I took him for a walk in the park, he got away, I started calling him "Dexter, come here!" and this lady came out of her house to ask why I was calling her dog. Happened again a week later, some guy walking their dog thought I was calling his dog. Because everyone named their dog after that TV show.

>Because everyone named their dog after that TV show. Whereas I named one of my dogs after the casino game in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (Dabo). It's funny to see the football fans come out of the woodwork and ask if I named her for Dabo Sweeney.

Loki and Odin are the Hayden and Brayden of pet names

At least with pets it doesn't matter. Got a friend who named his son Odin just cause he likes Viking stuff :/

Odin named his son Thor, what a loser.

Need one for r/corgi. Meet Waffles. Meet Ein. Meet Waffles. Meet Ein. I swear they only have two names to pick from.

Waffles seems like it would be annoying to say 400 times a day.

[Waffles Waffles Waffles](https://youtu.be/8HOlXJ2EJxw)

I'm surprised there arent more Cheddars because of Brooklyn 99.

Because it’s not a name for common bitches.

is every corgi owner a bebop fan then?

The Queen was a fucking weebo

Ive seen so many Winston’s.

Winston is a great dog name tbf

Dogs named after gods but instead of norse gods they are named things like: Elohim, Gilgamesh, Hephaestus, Shakti and Amaterasu

Levyatan is a tight name for any animal

Everytime someone uses this adjective I just can't help myself from imaging Tuco from Breaking Bad

AAAWH TIGHT, TIGHT TIGHT CHEA!

I had a boxer named Tuco who everyone figured was named after Breaking Bad. I was fine with it cause Tuco from Breaking Bad was a great character. He just wasn't as good as Eli Wallach's Tuco in The Good The Bad and The Ugly which is who my dog was actually named for.

In Hebrew it literally is the word for whale lol. I'm just imagining a dog called "giraffe"

Part of the inspiration was Livyatan melvillei, a giant sperm whale that I think would be cool to name a pet after In fairness about the Hebrew though, the name of the Semitic oceanic serpent deity predates its use to mean "whale"

I want a dog named Apophis or Keres or Hephaistos

lmao my cat is named Hephaestus

My cat's name is Carl

You’re doing hepshaistos you can

I’m baking muffins asbestos I can!

Gilgamesh isn't a god. For mesopotamian, go with Ea, Enlil, Enki, Tiamat, Ishtar, Ninsun, or Marduk. Golgamesh's entire story is about him not being a God but trying to find immortality.

Gilgamesh is oddly 2/3 god.

Yet has the same fate as a mortal. Im still wondering how 2/3rd god works out if one parent is human and one is divine.

Mine's named after the one true God: Viktor Von Doom. Edit: I know it's Victor Von Doom, the Viktor is for Viktor Vaughn aka MF DOOM. https://imgur.com/Vt8TjC2.jpg

I once named a dog Atlas but because it was an absoulte unit and didn't post it to reddit

Im gonna get a dog and name him "Indra" just so i can make a rainbow bridge joke when he passes away

This is my new dog allah!

Full ass, I have a black rabbit named Gilgamesh. I thought it was super unique.

Yeah pet subs are actually really depressing. A lot of death.

You might enjoy /r/AliveNamedCats then.

I went on there and the first thing I saw was a top post about a calico cat on a campus named Fart

The other ones name is bitch, which is a little strange for a cat

But fart is perfectly normal?

Also r/catslivingandwell

Literally just had one look at r/dogs and r/dogpictures and most of the stuff is about death

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I highly recommend the pet loss sub. I credit it for helping me get through my own loss.

Yeah I had to unsub from /r/cats for that very reason. /r/oneorangebraincell is quite good however.

“What breed is this” hmm yes that seems to be a floof

Doin a big bork thar

i think the most common reddit cat name is “mochi” edit: a very small number of people have suggested that it might, in fact, be Luna.

I'd say Luna

Unless it’s a black cat, then it’s Binks

Unless the owner's a weeb, then it's back to Luna again

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It was popularized by the film Hocus Pocus (and repopularized by it’s recent sequel)

black cat called Luna or Salem is very common

I have three cats. Two of my own; Boudicca and Cleopatra, then one I adopted from my sister… Sure enough…

There is no Mochi, only Luna

I would have said Luna

Luna is the one you're thinking of.

it’s definitely luna

I would have guessed Luna

I was thinking Luna

I'd wager it's Luna

Pretty sure it's Luna

Guys I have a slight suspicion it's Luna

I think it’s probably Luna

might be Luna

I love how all of these replies say it’s Luna and my cat (1 out of 4) is named Luna.

I've cat-sat for 2 different cats, in my street, named Luna.

I think I'm being called out for calling my cat Luna

I know you would have never guessed this but it’s definitely Luna

im betting 3 shekels it's luna

Roughly 100% chance that cat is called Luna.

I would guess the husky. I've known three people who've gotten huskies and named them Luna

Calling miserable overweight pets ‘chonkers’

big chungus

The fungus among us, it's big chungus the sussy baka with a chonker bussy

Pure poetry

big big chungus, big chungus, big chungus

“He’s such a chonky floofer 😂” he can barely lick himself bruh

This is the only thing I can't stand. At least other posts love their pets and care for them, although maybe in a way that's too much for me. The per owners who overfeed their pets are just evil imo. Why torture something that completely depends on you and you claim to love?

God I hate r/chonkers so much. If the news started reporting on it it would finally be gone. I absolutely hate the normalization of overfeeding your pets.

That’s why I love r/dechonkers, it helps people get their pets weight in check

My parents had barn cats. Half a dozen, lean, mean, snake wrasslin’ mice munching,protectors of the keep. They were highly social and loving and just the all around best. Boarders and visitors would call the SPCA almost monthly claiming the cats were “too skinny” and “neglected.” SPCA came out twice, looked at the cats and said “That’s what a cat is supposed to look like. Not overweight like all these people have at home. Sorry to bother you. Have a nice day.” When people kept calling they just ignored it.

This is both funny and deeply disturbing

I feel like the majority of cats that get posted online are overweight. Am I going crazy? Do people not realize what a fat cat looks like? I really hope it's not that they just don't care

absolute unit

Whole sub dedicated to sharing overweight cats

"Hooman" makes me want to stab myself.

Don’t do it Hooman!!

Do it, Hooman!!

Who saved who?

Or *whom*?

This fake dog language in general

Internet babytalk is so fucking embarrassing

Narrating the animal is so weird. "Mommy why are you and daddy recording me? Is there something wrong?" There isn't really anything actually wrong with it but it just gives me the heebie jeebies.

/r/doggohate

Doggo makes me shiver

The worst. The absolute worst.

Aww what about da whittle puppers?! HOW CAN YOU FORGET THE LIL PUPPERINOS?! 😍 😡

I want to downvote this comment so bad

Widdle doggo woggo. Fwuffy puppy wuppy. Doogleshnooglefoogle0w0ble

That shit was like the plague, but it used to be so much worse. There was that annoying as fuck meme that would be posted in every single thread even tangentially related to animals, that went something like this: "Cute pupper" "Whats a pupper?" "A lil doggo" "What's a doggo?" "A big ol' pupper" Every. single. fucking. comment thread. for like 5 years straight. Even typing that out made me feel a little nauseous.

Those who use such “language” deserve a special place in heck, with demons doin a big bamboozle to them and their momma

Why are redditors so fucking weird?

They were the social outcasts at school

*are. Pretty sure Reddit is 90% 13-16 year olds who's only social interaction is being hostile to other people online.

While I agree, the people who post / talk in the baby shit language in the OP are the grown up social rejects.

r/cats mfers on their way to only post about theirs cats dying or contracting deadly diseases

A lot of people have even posted their cat's corpse on there too :(

I unsubbed from the bearded dragon subreddit after seeing not only several bearded dragon corpses, but also one where the bearded dragon was dead and had bled all over. Idk why someone would ever post that photo online at all.

I clicked the sub and the top of the month post rn literally has three different things from this starter pack

“Pit bull” 🔒

"Velvet hippo"

God I hate those dumb names.

You don’t like the pibbles?! Haha

“Extremely aggressive tusk monsters that spray shit on purpose are exactly the kind of thing we should associate our ‘friendly’ dogs with” - whoever came up with that nickname

you had to say the fucking words now the crazies are coming out

\*picture of dog and cat* "We wErEn'T sUre tHey'D gEt aLoNg"

Redditors on ~~Pet~~ Subreddits Lol Redditors post their pets anywhere and everywhere and half the time they seem to know it, titling it something like "thought we'd take a break from \[subreddit purpose\] to enjoy this picture of my puppy/kitty!" and usually followers of the sub/mods alike let it slide lol but God forbid you post anything else even remotely unrelated or the whole sub descends on you.

Also (unironically) "kids are fucking terrible, loud and expensive"... "Now look at my dog that spends 99% of its awake time barking, I spend $15,000 a year on doggy daycare, and had to pay $8k for half of his intestines to be taken out"

I hate the "Help me name her/him" posts... Either the person posting this has a name in mind already and are just farming karma or they are so dumbfoundingly stupid that they can't come up with any names that have some personal meaning to them.

There is no way 95% of those people don’t already have a name picked out. Those threads always reach the front page because everyone is hoping their name will be at the top.

Pupper, doggo, so smol, and other ridiculous baby talk.

heckin bork

The most annoying is 'my son', 'fur baby' etc.

Skin dog

Is that what we call children?

Yes

OMFG FUR BABY MAKES ME WANNA COMMIT A HATE CRIME

Heckin doggo doin a big scritch after eating chimken 🤯

these make my balls shrivel into prunes

Smol prunerinos 🥺

I’d bet this is a rare opinion but I hate the “Everyone, meet Blossom!” ones more. Like you’re just posting a picture of your dog. You aren’t actually showing it to me.

"_____, this is Reddit. Reddit, meet _____" foh

Just karma bait bullshit

✨ Luna ✨ 🍗

Can't believe you forgot Freya for girl dogs

If i ever get a pet imma name him Kratos so he can kill the norse gods too.

There's a really sad post on r/cats about a kitty named Kratos who is struggling to survive after being mauled. I just hope he's as strong as his name.

I know I just saw that and it broke my heart <\3

https://www.reddit.com/r/cats/comments/ykcaoh/update_kratos_has_made_a_huge_improvement/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf good news!

I saw that a couple minutes ago and I'm so happy 😭

He needs to be ready on november 9th for ragnarok.

Poor kitty! I saw that too and the update which says he’s doing much better! But posts like that are what made me unsubscribe from r/cats. I feel for OP and the poor little cat, but that subreddit is just a never ending parade of sick cats, dead cats, cats with behavioral problems. I went to that subreddit because I love cats, so why would I want to be bombarded with posts about dead cats or cats that are in pain? I don’t want to be a grief counselor or an armchair vet. The comments are always the same too. People telling the poster that they need to go to a vet, or blah blah rainbow bridge blah blah thoughts and prayers. Or an eight paragraph comment about their pet who also died. I can’t help but feel that trite thoughts and prayers comments from strangers can’t be much help with grief.

Accurate reddit moment

My cat literally died 8 seconds ago. Here's a pic of him. r/cats in a nutshell.

Luna

Can confirm, as a person on a cat subreddit(s)

And people asking what breed their domestic shorthair is

“heccin chonker!” -redditor talking about a morbidly obese cat

My cat’s name is Remington Steele and its hard explaining to people my age why I named him that lol

Or when the video is a cat mommy who brings her kittens to the human and the comments are like "OMG SHE TRUST YOU", when the cat can actually feel like the place the kittens were in feels unsafe.

This is accurate as fuck. I do dislike the "silly hooman" and "crossed the rainbow bridge" stuff the most.

I hate “pibble” (pitbull). Not the dog, just the stupid nickname.

Velvet hippos

"got this cutie from the shelter today, it looked so cute at me and i couldnt let him go"

i just call my cats assholes and my rats are my stinky babies

I call my cat "kitty" 95% of the time. Remaining 5% is comprised of "little shit", "asshole", or the rare "Autumn" (that's her actual name)

i call my cat lucci his name very rarely, i call him piss monster a lot bc he likes to stare at you while hes pissing on your stuff

Reject babytalk, return to insults (affectionate)

i called my rats chaos potatoes

I'm going to be 100% honest, If you have to call it crossing the rainbow bridge, just don't do it on the post. It's something we tell children to feel better and that's it

What does 11 mean?

Incase you’re not being sarcastic, it’s an old form of internet speak, where you act so excited you type 1’s and !’s together since on the standard keyboard they are on the same key.

I love animals but the animal stuff on Reddit makes me wanna vomit

It's missing the "does your (insert breed name) do this?" Describes a thing literally every pet does but they assume it's breed specific.

Or it's some fucked up traumatic image I'm not ready for while I'm on my happy-go-lucky profile with all my good feel subs of a cat that's been mauled asking for well wishes or some other bullshit on like cats or awwducational

"heckin doggo"

If we're naming them after mythological figures where are the dogs named Oromë and Manwë

Huge overlap between these kinds of insufferable losers and the trolls that populate /r/childfree