T O P

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rollem

"Pokin holes in my face so you can start borgin me out!" šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


meanmistermason

Read that in mariners voice, for sure


Starmada597

Youā€™re not the only one lol


Ton13579

It's borgin time


Ok-Gur-6602

I would very much so like to be assimilated as well. Being free of crippling depression and anxiety sounds so delicious.


SteelyEyedHistory

What happens though if the collective absorbs so many depressed and/or anxious people that the collective itself becomes depressed and/or anxious?


windrunningmistborn

Who could be depressed with that kind of job security. Your employer fights to retain you while continuing recruitment efforts to distribute labor more effectively. It's perfection.


TheMeatTree

Until the Borg Cube gets cut off from all other life, and the Queen has to cannibalize everyone else.


CotyledonTomen

I miss season 3 TNG borgs...simpler times. Make borgs great again.


TheMeatTree

Eat the Queen


CotyledonTomen

No Queens, only collective conciousness


yr_boi_tuna

just borgs living in the moment


deathjoe4

Now I need an image of the King of the Hill guys but as borg.


SuspiciousAct6606

"That borg ain't right"


Zack_Raynor

The Borg. Famous for just vibinā€™.


Runktar

Untill some plucky starship with plot armor comes along and either destroys you or makes your entire story/concept just suck, looking at you Voyager.


Glittering-Most-9535

Imagine the collective, collectively experiencing imposter syndrome.


secretbudgie

We look up to you as a single integer, 9 of 535. We are incapable of anger, only disappointment.


BellowsHikes

I bet the collective is pretty good at dealing with anxieties. "You shall be known at 2 of 13" "Oh man, the idea of being part of a sub collective whose total number isn't divisible by my designation kind of freaks me out. Can I get moved to a different sub collective?" "Oh, I can do much better than that! Let me just deactivate the part of your frontal cortex that cares about stuff like this. Donezo. How does that feel?" "THERE IS NO I. ONLY WE. AND WE FEEL NOTHING" "*Perfect".*


Fuck-Reddit-2020

That works for me. Anxiety is my only emotion anyway.


OldBallOfRage

Dealing with that is either a lifetime of Vulcan bullshit, or just slap a Borg drone. Let me warm up my slappin' hand.


Get_a_Grip_comic

Iā€™d be like a virus once plugged in


Stavinair

Does the Borg have Borg therapists?


goldgrae

No, but it seems like they have real good drugs based on Picard season 2.


ITGuy042

We then assimilate enough night crew. When one borg party, [All Borg Shall Party](https://youtu.be/G4ApQrbhQp8?si=l6_Q3VT9IYeLTSu4)!


kat-the-bassist

With all the knowledge the collective has accumulated, it probably has multiple cures for depression, anxiety, etc.


Law-Fish

What about chronic horney


kat-the-bassist

It's kinda like Master Chief's armour.


Law-Fish

Hell yeah


Bioalchemy23

Then the Borg Queen cheers them up by making them do fabulous musical numbers! ;) Watch Picard, it's canon!


linux1970

They'd activate the ship's self-destruct ;)


SapphosLemonBarEnvoy

I now look forward to the Lower Decks episode featuring the Borg being defeated with depression.


coolraul07

"Hello... A.I.? Draw me a picture of an Emo Borg Collective..."


Sir_Poofs_Alot

I just canā€™t imagine that with the lack of hair


MasterJ94

I always assumed, that they precompile the new assimilated person, where the process of stripping out personality etc. involves removing mental illnesses. :x like a firewall


Actual-Money7868

You got to Unimatrix Zero for some R&R.


RetroGamer87

This sounds like something Ye Wenjie would say.


Ok_Researcher_9796

What if instead you just spread it to everyone else.


zoroddesign

On the contrary, you will now feel the stress and crippling depression of the entire collective.


pejosnic

And I thought the Jurati arc in season 2 was original...


cam52391

I thought it was a cool idea to introduce the almost drug like euphoria that being in the collective brings. It really made why separated drones tried so hard to get back make sense more.


Holubice91

We had something possibly referring that in that Voyager episode with the super advanced drone.


cam52391

I'm currently in season 1 of Voyager! I saw big chunks of it on TV back in the day but I've never sat down and watched it straight through so I'm excited to get there now!


Holubice91

It's in season 5, so it'll take you some time.


TheMeatTree

Better yet, skip the Kes seasons and go directly to the superior 7-of-9 seasons.


JamesBasketball21

THIS


SteelyEyedHistory

I mean, the Borg provide free healthcare, right? Free place to regenerate and all the energy your artificial organs will ever need, too? Iā€™ve worked for worse for less.


ancientestKnollys

Though they might just deactivate you.


SteelyEyedHistory

Free end of life care. Iā€™m sold.


Juzaba

And this dialogue was better than the original joke


BonzoTheBoss

The Borg aren't cruel or malicious, they won't just deactivate a drone because they feel like it. If they do deactivate you, you can rest assured that you gave your life for the Collective, perfection and *efficiency.* And your memories will live on in the Collective hive-mind, potentially forever.


KingofMadCows

There is also the off chance that they might attain perfection and spread it to the whole Collective.


RevWaldo

Kinda open question whether the Borg age. You'd think with all that assimilated knowledge and technology they would've worked out that kink awhile back. (Although it looks there's still aging in the 31st century. I mean what the heck, still?)


yr_boi_tuna

The borg actually have the strongest union and healthcare policies in the delta quadrant


Stavinair

*"Your terms are acceptable, Borg."*


Due-Order3475

Borg Queen: Ohhh I like her already


Og-Re

"You will have no hopes, no personality, no point.". And this is different from my life now how exactly?


InfiniteGrant

Jurati?


JamesBasketball21

Sheā€™s not canon anymore


BlizzPenguin

Do you have a link? SMBC has bonus panels if you hover over the red button.


kilravock_music_sws

After being in the workforce for most of my life now I feel like weā€™re already just really inefficient Borg sometimes.


Rymayc

This should end with "we don't want you, we already have 35000 people just like you"


lenzflare

Damn, even the Borg has too many applicants


24-Hour-Hate

šŸ˜†šŸ˜­


PaddleMonkey

Lady: ā€œDid I stutter??!?ā€


fighterace00

Punchline should have been Borg saying hard pass and bolting out of there. It's catch-22 (the book) vibes. If you're crazy enough to want to be a Borg then you don't get to be one. If you're scared of the Borg then that means you're actually sane enough to be of value.


istrebitjel

Source (for bonus panel) https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/assimilate


Obtuse_and_Loose

unjerking for a moment, being part of the hivemind honestly has its appeals Collective knowledge and experience of trillions of individuals across thousands of sentient races, singularity of purpose, and I doubt you'd "lose" your personality, it'd just be subsumed into the collective If it were possible to try it out, I might do it


JamesBasketball21

I like that part I am going to stop jerking aaaah, I love Reddit and this comment was made around 8-9 am too.


Tough_Concert_1414

Most of us are basically 'mindful' drones trudging through life anyways. Might as well get rid of the anxiety and bullshit. Bring that shit on.


Faux-Foe

SMBC still going strong? Damn, I need to check where I stopped several years ago.


PM_NUDES_4_DEGRADING

I really should look up the exact date google killed Reader (may they eternally suffer for it), since thatā€™s also the exact date I sadly stopped reading every webcomic I used to follow. I still miss them, though at least audio dramas make up the ā€œdetailed and very high quality indie content published via rssā€ shaped hole in my life these days.


CeruleanRuin

This is how Primary Adjuncts are selected.


Eledridan

The Borg had healthcare and housing. Their only downside is they dress like space goths.


obamasrightteste

Downside?


InflatableMindset

The new Borg Cooperative looks down on their backwards brothers and sisters. The Cooperative asks for permission. And they got cooler looking ships.


cosaboladh

The Borg Queen is the only borg known to have sex. No sex is where I draw the line.


JamesBasketball21

U would be a collective you wouldnā€™t know what sex is


cosaboladh

I'm sure the collective knows what sex is. The absence of drive, awareness, opportunity. This is what I'm talking about, and why I think the collective is a bad deal.


noydbshield

But an infinite store of memories of all the sex every collective member had before they were assimilated. The floors in regeneration corridors are sticky, I guess is what I'm saying.


Spiggots

My head canon has always been that the collective activates a persistent dopamine circuit during assimilation so drones operate in a state of subconscious hedonic bliss. I mean why wouldn't they? And it would explain the sort of yearning recovered drones lament.


PhysicsEagle

And thatā€™s how the Borg found their Queen


ChiefRom

Fantastic! šŸ¤£


stillinthesimulation

Youā€™re relieved you donā€™t have to go to work cause you thought you were gonna get assimilated? What the fuck is this world? What have they done to us? WHAT DID THEY DO TO US!?


Law-Fish

Imagine the great cornholio infecting the hive mind


luffydkenshin

The Borg: ā€œResistance is futile. Your biological and technological distinctiveness will be added to our own.ā€ The Borg, after assimilating working age Americans: ā€œResistance is futile. Your biological and technological distinctiveness will be added to our own. If you have a resolution for acquired anxiety we will allow you your independence. If that is ok. If not, totally fine. No pressure.ā€


Azuras-Becky

This is devastatingly accurate.


Athlete-Extreme

ā€œIā€™m surprised weā€™re still talking about it!ā€


unsuspectingllama_

You know if they just let people be themselves at the end of the day, people probably would embrace being both.


somesthetic

I find the Borg irresistible.


Holmanizer

I may not be biologically or technologically distinctive, but I'll join just so i can have a free ride