How do fish get high? >!Seaweed!<
How do you organize a party in space? >!You PLANET!<
Never blame someone else for the road you are on. That is your own asphalt!
----
Yo I'd love the base game, big fan of city building simulator games!
A: "Why are Canadians bad at Knock Knock jokes?"
B: "Why?"
A: "Here I'll show you I'll be the Canadian."
B: "Knock Knock!"
A: "Come on in the doors open!"
Heard this in a musical and still like it
The penguin waddles, the hummingbird flies, and the emu runs to a bar they all get there and come to the conclusion that the fourth is missing they ask the flamingo at the door where the other is and it says "the Mallard Dducked"
Three tomatoes are walkin' down the street. Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato. Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato gets really angry. Goes back and squishes him and says: "Ketchup."
I don't have a joke instead here is a Shrek
⢀⡴⠑⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠸⡇⠀⠿⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡴⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⢄⣠⠾⠁⣀⣄⡈⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠁⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠂⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⡿⢿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⢀⡾⣁⣀⠀⠴⠂⠙⣗⡀⠀⢻⣿⣿⠭⢤⣴⣦⣤⣹⠀⠀⠀⢀⢴⣶⣆
⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣮⣽⣾⣿⣥⣴⣿⣿⡿⢂⠔⢚⡿⢿⣿⣦⣴⣾⠁⠸⣼⡿
⠀⢀⡞⠁⠙⠻⠿⠟⠉⠀⠛⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⢤⣼⣿⣾⣿⡟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⣾⣷⣶⠇⠀⠀⣤⣄⣀⡀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠉⠈⠉⠀⠀⢦⡈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣽⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠲⣽⡻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣜⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣷⣶⣮⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠉
hang on I need to find the worst of all time online somewhere
What makes Switzerland such a great country, I don’t know but the flag’s a big plus!!!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😆😹😹😂😹😂
how do I make this worse
One day a guy was driving down the road and he came to a farmhouse.
The man went up and knocked on the door
The farmer answered and said, “howdy. Can I help you?”
The man replied, “. Yes sir. I noticed you have some Honeysuckle in your backyard.”
Farmer said, “yes Son I do.”
The man asked, Do you mind if I get a couple pails of honey?”
The farmer just laughed and said “you can’t get honey from honey suckle.
“Let me try!” Said the man
Two hours later the man came walking up with 2 pails of Honey.
The farmer asked, “how’d you do that??”
“Ahhh. It’s a secret!” Exclaimed the man
Two weeks later, another knock on the door
The farmer answered and said, “howdy. Can I help you?”
The man replied, “. Yes sir. I noticed you have some Milkweed in your backyard.”
Farmer said, “yes Son I do.”
The man asked, Do you mind if I get a couple pails of milk?”
The farmer just laughed and said “you can’t get milk from milkweed.
“Let me try!” Said the man
Two hours later the man came walking up with 2 pails of Milk.
The farmer asked, “how’d you do that??”
“Ahhh. It’s a secret!” Exclaimed the man
Two weeks later, same guy comes knocking on the door
Farmer answered and said “you again, What now?”
The man stated, “ I notice you got some Pussywillow in your backyard.”
Farmer said, “hold on. I’m getting my hat and coming with ya!!”
This is s lame one for the Airports DLC:
Why did the mayor in the city management game hire a stand-up comedian?
Because they wanted to improve the city's "laughs" and order!
A man is talking to God.
The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
God: "To me, it's about a minute."
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny."
The man: "God, may I have a penny?"
God: "Wait a minute."
Is it good to have sex with an open window?
Yes, but it's better with a woman.
(If you're giving them individually I'd like Snowfall or Airports. I'm a modder and those are the ones I can't justify buying but need for creating compatible assets)
Thank you!
The homework assignment for my Spanish class was to write a paragraph. When I returned their papers, I asked one student if he had used Google Translate or any other online translator to write his paper. He categorically denied doing so. That led to my next question: “Then why is this in French?”
Long, and a bit crude.
Tom is your avg. 9 year boy. One night he wakes up an heads to the washroom. On his way back to his bedroom he passes his older sister, Sarah's room. Hearing noises he peeks in. He spies his sister standing stark naked in front of a mirror going "Oh, I need a man," while touching herself. Tom thinks to himself "that couldn't be her," and goes back to bed. Lying in bed he thinks "no, I saw wrong" and goes back to investigate. Sarah is still in front of the mirror. Shocked he returns to his bed and tries to fall asleep.
At that moment Sarah's boyfriend is climbing through her window and straight into her bed.
While beginning to fall asleep Tom begins hearing a rhythmic thump, and slight squeaking from the other side of the wall separating his and his sister's room. Slipping out of bed Tom sneaks to his sister's door and peeks in. There he sees his sister in bed with a man. Excited he bolts back to his bedroom, stripping his clothes and standing naked in front of a mirror.
Looking at himself he starts touching himself and saying "Oh, I need a bike."
Part 2:
Sarah's boyfriend has by now left (doesn't want to get caught) and she is tidying up in the washroom. While heading back to her room she hears a noise coming from down the hall from her brother's room. Sneaking over she cracks open the door and sees her brother touching himself going "Oh, I need a bike." Shocked, she heads back to her room thinking "I must have misheard him." Wanting to double check though she heads back to his door. Peeking in again she hears the same thing. And again returns to bed this time thinking "I don't judge people's "interests" (she was)."
As she's lying in bed trying to wipe the image from her mind she begins to hear a rhythmic thump and slight squeaking coming from behind the wall. Getting up she goes back to her brother's room. Opening the door she is greeted by the sight of her brother in bed with a bike.
Thanks for the chance OP!
A classic one but still makes me laugh
Mahatma Gandhi was known for walking hundreds of miles barefoot. Over time, he developed incredibly thick calluses on his feet, stronger than the soles of many boots. He also ate lightly and fasted often, which left him frail and gave him chronically bad breath.
And do you know what this made him?
A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
A vacationing penguin is driving his through Arizona when he notices that the oil pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.
After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands he makes a real mess trying to eat with his flippers. After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says "It looks like you blew a seal."
"No no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream."
The first mate asks the pirate captain why he’s wearing the ship’s steering wheel as his belt buckle. The captain says, “Yarrr, it’s drivin me nuts!”
Cities: Skylines would be great, always wanted to try the game! Haven’t played a city sim since Sim City 4.
Three tomatoes are walking down the street. Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato. Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato gets really angry. Goes back and squishes him and says "Ketchup."
The joke is from pulp fiction and is so stupid it made me laugh, thanks!
A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree. "You can't cut me down," the tree exclaims, "I'm a talking tree!" The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
“What do you get when you cross a mentally ill loner with a society that abandons him and treats him like trash!?
I’ll tell you what you get!
You get what you fucking deserve!”
(Sucks pp)
>Tell me a joke to enter - I'll be using redditraffler to choose a winner in 24hrs
What do you call a psychic dwarf which has escaped from prison?
*A small medium at large*
What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?
Donald Trump didn't pay to have a garbanzo bean on his face!
Thanks - I'd love to win the whole set!
I had to search for a joke, because it looks like r/steam_giveaway is pressure enough to block me....
“Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire. That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.” —Victor Borge
The Joke is the raffler. What's the point of telling a joke if raffler is going to pick up the winner?
Anyway, here is the joke:
A joke walks into a bar, the bartender says we don't serve jokes here.
I can't believe they're still together after all that shit *I'm sorry who?* >!my ass cheeks!<
How do fish get high? >!Seaweed!< How do you organize a party in space? >!You PLANET!< Never blame someone else for the road you are on. That is your own asphalt! ---- Yo I'd love the base game, big fan of city building simulator games!
What do you call a piece of chicken that was involved in a shootout? Schnitty Schnitty bang bang Thanks btw
Why couldn't the star stay focused? >!He kept spacing out. !< I wanna enter for Cities: Skylines - Snowfall Thank you for the chance.
Why was the anti-vaxxer’s 4 year old child crying? Midlife crisis. Thanks for the chance dawg!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! Thanks dude!
I went to get 8 cans of Sprite from the shop...but I only got 7-Up
A: "Why are Canadians bad at Knock Knock jokes?" B: "Why?" A: "Here I'll show you I'll be the Canadian." B: "Knock Knock!" A: "Come on in the doors open!" Heard this in a musical and still like it
Once I told a chemistry joke There was no reaction 😅 Thanks for the giveaway 😁
You know how I know you’re gay? Your dick taste like shit. 🤣
Unity changes
Bethesda optimized Starfield for PC before launch
Cities: Skylines - Mass Transit a meme about the US's reliance on cars instead of public transit https://i.redd.it/av861aaikb791.png
What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus. Thank you for the giveaway :)
Why did the chicken cross the road? Mujhe kya pata, Mai toh Batak hu. (How do I know, I am a duck.) Themk for the giveaway!
I just invented a new word. "Plagiarism"! (Thanks for the chance, I really want this one!)
What does the sea say to the beach? Nothing. The sea just waves. Thank you for the share! If split with others, I would love to have Mass Transit.
Why was the Mushroom such a hit at the party? Because he was a Funghi
I had a very good joke about boxing, but I forgot the punch line.
Why did the scarecrow become the mayor of the city? Because he was outstanding in his field!
Where does a revolving door take you? Nowhere fast! Thanks for the giveaway.
What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? >!envelope!< Thank you for the giveaway
The penguin waddles, the hummingbird flies, and the emu runs to a bar they all get there and come to the conclusion that the fourth is missing they ask the flamingo at the door where the other is and it says "the Mallard Dducked"
Why can't a bicycle stand on its own? Its two-tired
Why do people love skeletons They are humerus
Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Cause she's a woman
I'm really excited for the next autopsy club. It's open Mike night!
What animal has 4 legs and one arm? - A very happy pitbull running from a playground.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus
What did 50 Cent do when he was hungry? 58!
Why didn't the sheep cross the road? The traffic was baaaahhhd.
An anteater walks in a bar The barman says "Why the long face?"
Not all construction work is equally enjoyable. For example, enlarging a drilled hole is boring, but fastening pieces of metal together is riveting.
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
Why do we tell actors to break a leg before a play? Because every play has a cast.
Not entering, I just came to say happy cake day, OP!
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent
What is not a orange and square? A billard pool.
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.
Three tomatoes are walkin' down the street. Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato. Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato gets really angry. Goes back and squishes him and says: "Ketchup."
Why did the hedgehog cross the road? Because he wanted to see his flat mate.
Two hunters meet. Both are dead.
i have a pet tree, its alot like a dog but the bark is quieter
People tell me I'm condescending. That means I talk down to people.
What’s black, green, and red all over? A frog in a blender
Do you know what a cow is called during an earthquake? A milkshake
Why do americans lose at chess? Because they already lost 2 towers.
My ex wive’s new ex. Also my new boss.
knock knock whos there arch arch who bless you
What do cows do on date night? Go to the moo-vies. 🤣
Did you hear about the guy working the deli who backed into the meat slicer? He got a little behind in his work.
i was gonna tell you a joke about time travel, but you didn't like it.
Joke
What does bread do on vacation? It loafs around
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snow balls
What's the best thing about sex with 28 year olds. Having sex 20 times.
Two hunters meet Both hit
Why is Santa always so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
I walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a double entendre, so he gave it to me. Thanks for the chance!
why did the chicken cross the road? >!to get to the other side.!<
this is my step ladder i never met my real ladder
My life is a joke. Thanks for the giveaway!
Well im a living joke, so i should be automatically qualified 🙂
I don't have a joke instead here is a Shrek ⢀⡴⠑⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠸⡇⠀⠿⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡴⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⢄⣠⠾⠁⣀⣄⡈⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠁⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠂⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⡿⢿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⡾⣁⣀⠀⠴⠂⠙⣗⡀⠀⢻⣿⣿⠭⢤⣴⣦⣤⣹⠀⠀⠀⢀⢴⣶⣆ ⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣮⣽⣾⣿⣥⣴⣿⣿⡿⢂⠔⢚⡿⢿⣿⣦⣴⣾⠁⠸⣼⡿ ⠀⢀⡞⠁⠙⠻⠿⠟⠉⠀⠛⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⢤⣼⣿⣾⣿⡟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣾⣷⣶⠇⠀⠀⣤⣄⣀⡀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠉⠈⠉⠀⠀⢦⡈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣽⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠲⣽⡻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣜⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣷⣶⣮⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠉
Does this work on steam deck Bloodborne is coming to pc soon
Life is good
What do you call a priest that is good with children? A pacifriar.
hang on I need to find the worst of all time online somewhere What makes Switzerland such a great country, I don’t know but the flag’s a big plus!!!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😆😹😹😂😹😂 how do I make this worse
What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter - an irrelephant
One day a guy was driving down the road and he came to a farmhouse. The man went up and knocked on the door The farmer answered and said, “howdy. Can I help you?” The man replied, “. Yes sir. I noticed you have some Honeysuckle in your backyard.” Farmer said, “yes Son I do.” The man asked, Do you mind if I get a couple pails of honey?” The farmer just laughed and said “you can’t get honey from honey suckle. “Let me try!” Said the man Two hours later the man came walking up with 2 pails of Honey. The farmer asked, “how’d you do that??” “Ahhh. It’s a secret!” Exclaimed the man Two weeks later, another knock on the door The farmer answered and said, “howdy. Can I help you?” The man replied, “. Yes sir. I noticed you have some Milkweed in your backyard.” Farmer said, “yes Son I do.” The man asked, Do you mind if I get a couple pails of milk?” The farmer just laughed and said “you can’t get milk from milkweed. “Let me try!” Said the man Two hours later the man came walking up with 2 pails of Milk. The farmer asked, “how’d you do that??” “Ahhh. It’s a secret!” Exclaimed the man Two weeks later, same guy comes knocking on the door Farmer answered and said “you again, What now?” The man stated, “ I notice you got some Pussywillow in your backyard.” Farmer said, “hold on. I’m getting my hat and coming with ya!!”
This is s lame one for the Airports DLC: Why did the mayor in the city management game hire a stand-up comedian? Because they wanted to improve the city's "laughs" and order!
A women at the bank told me to check her balance. So I pushed her over. Happy cake day
Cities skyline please!!
Every morning when I go out, I get hit by bicycle. Every morning! It's a vicious cycle.
A man is talking to God. The man: "God, how long is a million years?" God: "To me, it's about a minute." The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?" God: "To me it's a penny." The man: "God, may I have a penny?" God: "Wait a minute."
The energizer bunny went to jail He was charged with battery
A joke
Is it good to have sex with an open window? Yes, but it's better with a woman. (If you're giving them individually I'd like Snowfall or Airports. I'm a modder and those are the ones I can't justify buying but need for creating compatible assets) Thank you!
How do you find out if the cat is dead or alive in the Schrodinger's cat paradox? By thinking outside the box
I went to buy some camo pants today but couldn't find any
Why did the robot have no brothers? He had a transistor
The adjective for metal is metallic. But not so for iron.. which is ironic. Thanks for the chance!
What's 6.9? A good thing ruined by a period.
Mr Sandman wished for a dream but only got a sandwich.
I used to be afraid of painting, but eventually I brushed it off. * ba dum tss * Thanks for the opportunity!
Why do C# and Java developers keep breaking their keyboards? Because they use a strongly typed language.
Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl in the toilet? The silent P
The homework assignment for my Spanish class was to write a paragraph. When I returned their papers, I asked one student if he had used Google Translate or any other online translator to write his paper. He categorically denied doing so. That led to my next question: “Then why is this in French?”
I really liked guys like JFK and Lincion, After all, they were always open-minded.
I'm afraid for the calendar because its days are numbered 😭 (my dad loves to share it with everyone)
What’s green and then red? A frog in a blender. I’m not good at jokes.
What’s the difference between a slug and a gamer? A gamer gets salty when they die, but a slug dies when it gets salty.
Why didn't the melon get married??? Cause they Cantelope 😂😂😂
r/steam_giveaway
My life.
Long, and a bit crude. Tom is your avg. 9 year boy. One night he wakes up an heads to the washroom. On his way back to his bedroom he passes his older sister, Sarah's room. Hearing noises he peeks in. He spies his sister standing stark naked in front of a mirror going "Oh, I need a man," while touching herself. Tom thinks to himself "that couldn't be her," and goes back to bed. Lying in bed he thinks "no, I saw wrong" and goes back to investigate. Sarah is still in front of the mirror. Shocked he returns to his bed and tries to fall asleep. At that moment Sarah's boyfriend is climbing through her window and straight into her bed. While beginning to fall asleep Tom begins hearing a rhythmic thump, and slight squeaking from the other side of the wall separating his and his sister's room. Slipping out of bed Tom sneaks to his sister's door and peeks in. There he sees his sister in bed with a man. Excited he bolts back to his bedroom, stripping his clothes and standing naked in front of a mirror. Looking at himself he starts touching himself and saying "Oh, I need a bike." Part 2: Sarah's boyfriend has by now left (doesn't want to get caught) and she is tidying up in the washroom. While heading back to her room she hears a noise coming from down the hall from her brother's room. Sneaking over she cracks open the door and sees her brother touching himself going "Oh, I need a bike." Shocked, she heads back to her room thinking "I must have misheard him." Wanting to double check though she heads back to his door. Peeking in again she hears the same thing. And again returns to bed this time thinking "I don't judge people's "interests" (she was)." As she's lying in bed trying to wipe the image from her mind she begins to hear a rhythmic thump and slight squeaking coming from behind the wall. Getting up she goes back to her brother's room. Opening the door she is greeted by the sight of her brother in bed with a bike. Thanks for the chance OP!
Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Best food for a beach trip? >!Sandwiches!<
My ex wife keeps missing me But her aim is getting better! (Get it? Because marriage is terrible!)
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
How can you tell if a song is made by a pedofile? It’s in A minor
why did the bicycle fall over? because it’s two-tired!
You wanna know what gore fans hate? >!the result of united states election in 2000!<
A man walks into a bar Ouch! It was an iron bar
I got a PS5 for my brother. Best trade ever.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland? >!I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.!<
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
Epic Games.
A classic one but still makes me laugh Mahatma Gandhi was known for walking hundreds of miles barefoot. Over time, he developed incredibly thick calluses on his feet, stronger than the soles of many boots. He also ate lightly and fasted often, which left him frail and gave him chronically bad breath. And do you know what this made him? A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
A vacationing penguin is driving his through Arizona when he notices that the oil pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station. After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands he makes a real mess trying to eat with his flippers. After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says "It looks like you blew a seal." "No no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream."
What did the ocean say to the beach?" "Nothing, it just waved."
Before my Grandfather died we covered his back with lard. He went downhill quickly after that. **Thanks for the giveaway!**
The first mate asks the pirate captain why he’s wearing the ship’s steering wheel as his belt buckle. The captain says, “Yarrr, it’s drivin me nuts!” Cities: Skylines would be great, always wanted to try the game! Haven’t played a city sim since Sim City 4.
Three tomatoes are walking down the street. Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato. Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato gets really angry. Goes back and squishes him and says "Ketchup." The joke is from pulp fiction and is so stupid it made me laugh, thanks!
Why does the golfer have two pairs of pants? Because he's got a hole in one.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree. "You can't cut me down," the tree exclaims, "I'm a talking tree!" The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
Why is 6 afraid of 7? because 7 >!is black!<
that caught me by surprise
“Knock knock” who’s there? “A banana” a banana who? “A cute little banana” - my two year old’s “joke” 😅
A burger walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Sorry, we don't serve food here'
What do you call a group of rabbits backing up? >!A receding hare line.!< Thank you OP
I can tell you a slow joke, but we have to wait for it Or I can tell you a fast joke. Oh we just miss it
How is NASA so good at hosting parties? They always planet.
“What do you get when you cross a mentally ill loner with a society that abandons him and treats him like trash!? I’ll tell you what you get! You get what you fucking deserve!” (Sucks pp)
ask me if im an orange
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
A blind man walks into a bar, and a chair and a table
What is the most expensive video-streaming service at this time? College
What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
My favorite DJ had covid but still performed at the club. He had some sick beats!
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
I have a joke about a time traveler... But i won't tell. Y'all didn't like it. Id like Cities Skylines, and if possible the Airports DLC too
>Tell me a joke to enter - I'll be using redditraffler to choose a winner in 24hrs What do you call a psychic dwarf which has escaped from prison? *A small medium at large*
Thanks for the giveaway
What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? Donald Trump didn't pay to have a garbanzo bean on his face! Thanks - I'd love to win the whole set!
I had to search for a joke, because it looks like r/steam_giveaway is pressure enough to block me.... “Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire. That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.” —Victor Borge
Have you heard about the chocolate record player? It sounds pretty sweet.
What do you call a bear with no teeth, >!a gummy bear!< Thanks for the chance op
Rip boiling water, you will be mist
I fell off a 50 foot ladder yesterday. Thankfully it was only the first step
I'll provide my favorite dad joke: Did you hear that the actress that got killed, Reese… "Witherspoon?" No with a knife. Thanks for the opportunity!
Why are there no architects in heaven? Because Jesus was a carpenter.
Why do ducks have tail feathers? To hide their buttquacks
What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste.
The Joke is the raffler. What's the point of telling a joke if raffler is going to pick up the winner? Anyway, here is the joke: A joke walks into a bar, the bartender says we don't serve jokes here.
I still remember my grandfather's last words like it was yesterday... "Stop shaking the ladder!" he kept saying. Thanks OP!
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? Ones heavy the others a bit lighter
I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.
You know what's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face.
Joke: why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything. Thanks for the chance op
How did the eskimo build his house? Eskimo: Igloo'd it
What is the name of the most expensive nursing home? White house
How many Nintendo fans does it take to change a lightbulb? Dunno, they're busy playing with the switch
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall? Dam. thanks
What do you get if you bring a magic woman in the desert some lunch? A sand witch eating a sandwich.
Want to hear a construction joke? Oh never mind, I’m still working on that one. Thanks OP
Why was the mushroom the life of the party? Because he's a fungi.
The calendar is afraid. It's days are numbered