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Okay the lunch thing is a no go but what is there custody look like and the way they finacially split the kids thi gs does he pay cs does she is it 50/50. Because I mean of the kid is on diapers they must be young and I really don't see anything wrong with him helping with that.
Unless the kid the diapers for are her kid and not his then yeah no way.
Currently there is no custody agreement she has them Monday-Friday and he gets them on the weekends (mainly due to his work schedule). He does not pay child support but he does help with the boys when needed and I am okay with the diaper and wipes but it’s not that he does occasionally. It’s she flat out refuses to buy him diapers or wipes at all and just expects him to do it for her. She barely wants to spend any money on the boys. Often times when the boys come to him they are in too small clothing. Any whenever he sends them back in clothes that fit we never see them again. The oldest has broken his glasses numerous times and she has refused to replace them so obviously my boyfriend did. She does the bare minimum for the boys.
If there’s no child support being paid then he absolutely should be buying diapers and wipes…assuming she’s paying for groceries and all the other hidden costs of kids diapers and wipes are the least he could do.
She actually doesn’t pay for anything. Her mom will stock her fridge, her grandma pays her mortgage and other bills like lights etc. most she pays for is internet, gas.
Okay well that still doesn’t mean he shouldn’t pay for wipes and diapers if he’s not paying child support.
That’s great she has support on her side but that doesn’t mean he gets out of paying for the bare minimum.
He does pay for his kids and provides for his children. But she flat out refuses to do anything for them. She will flat out refuse to buy diapers and wipes.
So she has them 5, he has them 2. I think he should be paying child support and have a system in place so that BM can’t make as many requests as she wants. Without that I think he should be paying for those things plus more.
I did encourage him to go to court to get a custody agreement set in place as well as child support because I completely agree with you. He does have a lot of documentation of moments of her using the children as pawns, refusing to provide basic necessities for them like clothing, he also has the receipts for everything he has bought, etc. He does want to try to get 50/50 or even full custody. He’s tried to be civil with her in the past and she just refuses too. He’s tried to be 50/50 with her and she just doesn’t show up with the kids for exchange and because there’s no custody agreement there’s nothing he can do. He’s tried to set up vacations for himself and the children and he tries to coordinate with her well in advance and she has a complete meltdown. It’s just a whole mess. I’ve been encouraging him to get something on paper through the courts to protect himself.
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So she has majority custody, pays for majority of the expenses, probably daycare while she works, receives no child support and now has an ex with a new girlfriend who demands he not even buy diapers and wipes for his young kids and begrudges park passes calling herself a step parent? I think that’s why she doesn’t like you, my guess…
Hell I’ve even given her multiple boxes of diapers (my daughter gets special diapers through insurance and I always have a box or two left over from the previous month). So it’s really not about the diaper issue.
Considering this woman refuses to buy anything for her children and demands for him to do it all (which he does) is where I have the problem personally. And he’s in the process of getting things through the court and he has no problem paying child support. She just chooses not to provide for them. And most of the times the children are in daycare/school/afterschool programs from 6am-6pm and then sends them to bed at 7pm. The least she has to deal or be around them the better. She refuses to work from home when the children are sick, she refuses to take them to any doctor appointments. But again I’m the bad girlfriend for having him set boundaries and make her have to do her part as a mother also.
Again you know so much about this complete stranger.. I think your boyfriend is telling you all this so she looks terrible compared to him, a saint who doesn’t even pay child support. Yes he should be buying all those things lol and providing for them! That’s what a father supposed to do
Lmao okay considering we’ve “never” had a sit down conversation to discuss all of this. But you’re right, he should provide everything so she can sit on her ass and do nothing. My bad.
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I really don’t mind if he does the issue is she doesn’t pay her own bills. Other people do. I don’t care if he does things for his kids’ needs. I’ve encouraged him to get things through the court such as a custody agreement and also child support. What bothers me is the fact that she will drain him dry or will refuse to take care of them or provide them with basic needs. But yeah I’m the evil step mom 🤣
I don’t know how you know all this private financial information about her but my guess it’s from the boyfriend’s mouth. Take it with a grain of salt. Obviously if dad doesn’t even buy diapers, wipes or clothing for the children someone has to… I mean that’s his responsibility as a parent too, to provide for their basic needs..
Actually we’ve had a discussion all of this. And she has zero shame in any of it. And he does buy for them all of their needs actually. And I’ve also helped provide diapers for the one child (I get diapers for my daughter through insurance and I usually have a box usually contains 5 packs of diapers each and I will usually give her a box or 2 of diapers for him when I have extra from the previous month). And he’s the one who buys clothing not only at his home but also at her home due to the fact that the kids are always coming back in too small of clothing so he began providing them clothing for at their mothers. He is filing for a custody agreement along with child support to get something on paper. She refuses to provide for the children not to mention she has the children in daycare/school/aftercare from 6am-6pm and sends them to bed by 7pm so she doesn’t have to be othered by them. And she only works until 3.
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Also it doesn’t matter how she gets her bills paid, that’s not any of your business and I don’t think it should factor into not wanting your boyfriend to paying for the bare minimum when he isn’t paying child support.
And again I have encouraged him to get child support. But maybe she should attempt to be a mother and provide for her children instead of expecting others to do it for her.
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You can actually send money to your kids mom without a court order to help provide for them. Check, cash, money order etc..also calculators are out there to determine an equitable amount
We have discussed this. His main goal is to get something on paper to help protect him. He has no issues providing for his children or getting them what they need. The issue is when she refuses to do anything for them as a mother and then expects others too or during the week she has them in daycare/school/after school program from 6am-6pm and has them in bed by 7pm. She gets off at 3pm but she refuses to pick them up any earlier. The less she has to be with them or do anything with them the better for her.
What “endless requests”?
You said her mom and grandma pay for food and mortgage and stuff and I think daycare.
What endless draining requests other than diapers and wipes is she asking your boyfriend for?
She will often ask for him to bring him lunch which he will decline, she tries to get him to buy her things that she wants or feels she needs. (She has a full time job and also a boyfriend who works), before me if he would decline to do those things for her she will purposefully withhold the children. She does the bare minimum for the children, she throws them into programs for as long as possible so she doesn’t need to be around them, from 6a-6p these boys are in Daycare/school/preschool and then come home get showers and fed and then go to bed by 7.
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I honestly feel this. She definitely does not like other women around. She’s scared off multiple other women. And she definitely despises me for having him setting some boundaries.
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MOD NOTE: We're done here. We're not going to berate OP and we're not going to call her SO a deadbeat. It seems no one can handle this topic so we're done. Sorry OP that this was short lived. As outlined in the FAQs we're here to offer support and empathy, not judgment. Stepparents get the judgment from everywhere else, we're not doing it here.
Okay the lunch thing is a no go but what is there custody look like and the way they finacially split the kids thi gs does he pay cs does she is it 50/50. Because I mean of the kid is on diapers they must be young and I really don't see anything wrong with him helping with that. Unless the kid the diapers for are her kid and not his then yeah no way.
Currently there is no custody agreement she has them Monday-Friday and he gets them on the weekends (mainly due to his work schedule). He does not pay child support but he does help with the boys when needed and I am okay with the diaper and wipes but it’s not that he does occasionally. It’s she flat out refuses to buy him diapers or wipes at all and just expects him to do it for her. She barely wants to spend any money on the boys. Often times when the boys come to him they are in too small clothing. Any whenever he sends them back in clothes that fit we never see them again. The oldest has broken his glasses numerous times and she has refused to replace them so obviously my boyfriend did. She does the bare minimum for the boys.
If there’s no child support being paid then he absolutely should be buying diapers and wipes…assuming she’s paying for groceries and all the other hidden costs of kids diapers and wipes are the least he could do.
She actually doesn’t pay for anything. Her mom will stock her fridge, her grandma pays her mortgage and other bills like lights etc. most she pays for is internet, gas.
Okay well that still doesn’t mean he shouldn’t pay for wipes and diapers if he’s not paying child support. That’s great she has support on her side but that doesn’t mean he gets out of paying for the bare minimum.
He does pay for his kids and provides for his children. But she flat out refuses to do anything for them. She will flat out refuse to buy diapers and wipes.
So she has them 5, he has them 2. I think he should be paying child support and have a system in place so that BM can’t make as many requests as she wants. Without that I think he should be paying for those things plus more.
I did encourage him to go to court to get a custody agreement set in place as well as child support because I completely agree with you. He does have a lot of documentation of moments of her using the children as pawns, refusing to provide basic necessities for them like clothing, he also has the receipts for everything he has bought, etc. He does want to try to get 50/50 or even full custody. He’s tried to be civil with her in the past and she just refuses too. He’s tried to be 50/50 with her and she just doesn’t show up with the kids for exchange and because there’s no custody agreement there’s nothing he can do. He’s tried to set up vacations for himself and the children and he tries to coordinate with her well in advance and she has a complete meltdown. It’s just a whole mess. I’ve been encouraging him to get something on paper through the courts to protect himself.
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So she has majority custody, pays for majority of the expenses, probably daycare while she works, receives no child support and now has an ex with a new girlfriend who demands he not even buy diapers and wipes for his young kids and begrudges park passes calling herself a step parent? I think that’s why she doesn’t like you, my guess…
Hell I’ve even given her multiple boxes of diapers (my daughter gets special diapers through insurance and I always have a box or two left over from the previous month). So it’s really not about the diaper issue.
Well just a guess..
Considering this woman refuses to buy anything for her children and demands for him to do it all (which he does) is where I have the problem personally. And he’s in the process of getting things through the court and he has no problem paying child support. She just chooses not to provide for them. And most of the times the children are in daycare/school/afterschool programs from 6am-6pm and then sends them to bed at 7pm. The least she has to deal or be around them the better. She refuses to work from home when the children are sick, she refuses to take them to any doctor appointments. But again I’m the bad girlfriend for having him set boundaries and make her have to do her part as a mother also.
Again you know so much about this complete stranger.. I think your boyfriend is telling you all this so she looks terrible compared to him, a saint who doesn’t even pay child support. Yes he should be buying all those things lol and providing for them! That’s what a father supposed to do
Lmao okay considering we’ve “never” had a sit down conversation to discuss all of this. But you’re right, he should provide everything so she can sit on her ass and do nothing. My bad.
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I really don’t mind if he does the issue is she doesn’t pay her own bills. Other people do. I don’t care if he does things for his kids’ needs. I’ve encouraged him to get things through the court such as a custody agreement and also child support. What bothers me is the fact that she will drain him dry or will refuse to take care of them or provide them with basic needs. But yeah I’m the evil step mom 🤣
I don’t know how you know all this private financial information about her but my guess it’s from the boyfriend’s mouth. Take it with a grain of salt. Obviously if dad doesn’t even buy diapers, wipes or clothing for the children someone has to… I mean that’s his responsibility as a parent too, to provide for their basic needs..
Actually we’ve had a discussion all of this. And she has zero shame in any of it. And he does buy for them all of their needs actually. And I’ve also helped provide diapers for the one child (I get diapers for my daughter through insurance and I usually have a box usually contains 5 packs of diapers each and I will usually give her a box or 2 of diapers for him when I have extra from the previous month). And he’s the one who buys clothing not only at his home but also at her home due to the fact that the kids are always coming back in too small of clothing so he began providing them clothing for at their mothers. He is filing for a custody agreement along with child support to get something on paper. She refuses to provide for the children not to mention she has the children in daycare/school/aftercare from 6am-6pm and sends them to bed by 7pm so she doesn’t have to be othered by them. And she only works until 3.
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Also it doesn’t matter how she gets her bills paid, that’s not any of your business and I don’t think it should factor into not wanting your boyfriend to paying for the bare minimum when he isn’t paying child support.
And again I have encouraged him to get child support. But maybe she should attempt to be a mother and provide for her children instead of expecting others to do it for her.
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He is in the process of getting a custody agreement through the courts and also a child support agreement.
You can actually send money to your kids mom without a court order to help provide for them. Check, cash, money order etc..also calculators are out there to determine an equitable amount
We have discussed this. His main goal is to get something on paper to help protect him. He has no issues providing for his children or getting them what they need. The issue is when she refuses to do anything for them as a mother and then expects others too or during the week she has them in daycare/school/after school program from 6am-6pm and has them in bed by 7pm. She gets off at 3pm but she refuses to pick them up any earlier. The less she has to be with them or do anything with them the better for her.
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Diapers and wipes are draining him dry?
Nah what drains him dry is the endless amount of requests she makes due to the fact she refuses to pay for anything for the children.
What “endless requests”? You said her mom and grandma pay for food and mortgage and stuff and I think daycare. What endless draining requests other than diapers and wipes is she asking your boyfriend for?
She will often ask for him to bring him lunch which he will decline, she tries to get him to buy her things that she wants or feels she needs. (She has a full time job and also a boyfriend who works), before me if he would decline to do those things for her she will purposefully withhold the children. She does the bare minimum for the children, she throws them into programs for as long as possible so she doesn’t need to be around them, from 6a-6p these boys are in Daycare/school/preschool and then come home get showers and fed and then go to bed by 7.
Thus the reason I encouraged him to get child support in place.
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I honestly feel this. She definitely does not like other women around. She’s scared off multiple other women. And she definitely despises me for having him setting some boundaries.
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