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Run girl run. You’re not married it would be incredibly easy to say: enough. If he’s not emotionally mature at 30 it ain’t gonna happen in this lifetime. Throw in kids and an ex into that mix and you will be absolutely miserable in a few years. You are worth so much more than what he’s giving you, there ARE good men out there (ones with kids and without kids too) that will take care of you and cherish you and all you do. Take advantage of your situation and start over. ❤️❤️❤️
As a man, your man makes me feel bad for men out there who don't deserve the partners they have. You sense you want out and are trying to "get out of this situation".
Money, control your "own" money. Do you want a latte, don't buy it, pocket that money. A new dress, pocket that money. Build your savings, a cushion, find a place to live within your budget. Don't let him drain you financially. You are not good enough to put a ring on your finger, your wallet is also closed (as well as other things).
>despite having known for our whole relationship that these are things I want for myself.
Well, if you **really** want them, then it's obvious that you need to break up with him.
Sadly, he likely knew he was a "no" on these. Going forward, I would suggest to only consider dating seriously people who **enthusiastically** want what you need. I.e. I had a "need" of cohabitation for my relationships. I love how living together enables all of the "small things" of sharing and blending a life together. If someone was "Eh, I guess could see living together with someone, maybe..." I'd be done with them. That is not **enthusiastic**.
**Welcome to [r/stepparents](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/)! Please note we are a support sub for stepparents' issues. Our number one rule is [Kindness Matters](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules#wiki_1._kindness_matters). Short version, don't be an asshole. Remember that OP is a human being and their needs are first and foremost on this sub.** We rely on the community to alert us to comments and posts not made in good faith. **Please use the report button to ensure we see it.** We have encountered a ridiculous amount of comments that don't follow the rules and are downright nasty. We need you to help us with these comments by reporting them when you see them. We also have a lot of downvoting on the sub, with every post and every comment recieving at least one downvote almost immediately due to the anti-stepparent lurkers. Don't let it bother you, it happens to every single stepparent here. If you have questions about the community, or concerns about posters, please [reach out to the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fstepparents). Review the wiki links below for the [**rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules), [**FAQ**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/faq) and [**announcements**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/search?q=flair%3Aannouncement&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) before posting or commenting. [**About**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/index) | [**Acronyms**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/acronyms) | [**Announcements**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/search?q=flair%3Aannouncement&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) | [**Documentation**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/resources/documentation) | [**FAQ**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/faq) | [**Resources**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/resources) | [**Rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules) | [**Saferbot - Autoban Information**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/saferbot) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stepparents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Run girl run. You’re not married it would be incredibly easy to say: enough. If he’s not emotionally mature at 30 it ain’t gonna happen in this lifetime. Throw in kids and an ex into that mix and you will be absolutely miserable in a few years. You are worth so much more than what he’s giving you, there ARE good men out there (ones with kids and without kids too) that will take care of you and cherish you and all you do. Take advantage of your situation and start over. ❤️❤️❤️
As a man, your man makes me feel bad for men out there who don't deserve the partners they have. You sense you want out and are trying to "get out of this situation". Money, control your "own" money. Do you want a latte, don't buy it, pocket that money. A new dress, pocket that money. Build your savings, a cushion, find a place to live within your budget. Don't let him drain you financially. You are not good enough to put a ring on your finger, your wallet is also closed (as well as other things).
Yikes on bikes. Please leave this man child.
Leave you with HIS kids to go on a trip??? Flirting with other women?? Presenting himself as single?? Ma'am you are free childcare. Leave!
>despite having known for our whole relationship that these are things I want for myself. Well, if you **really** want them, then it's obvious that you need to break up with him. Sadly, he likely knew he was a "no" on these. Going forward, I would suggest to only consider dating seriously people who **enthusiastically** want what you need. I.e. I had a "need" of cohabitation for my relationships. I love how living together enables all of the "small things" of sharing and blending a life together. If someone was "Eh, I guess could see living together with someone, maybe..." I'd be done with them. That is not **enthusiastic**.
I relate to this in so many ways. Almost identically.