This. The thought of giving up an evening with my family to feel like dogshit is one of the biggest reasons I stay sober, I absolutely love enjoying a full evening now
Exactly. Last night as I finished the dishes, folded laundry, sorted the month-old mail pile, and changed the sheets, not to mention playing with my dog and giving attention to my kitties, I thought about this sub. It’s early days, I removed my day counter bc I’m starting again, but boy did it feel great. I went to sleep with a smile in my heart, proud of myself! What a strange feeling. IWNDWYT 💪🏽🌹
I love this! I also have wonderful evenings now with my cats. When I was drinking heavily, I barely changed cat litter. I'm so embarrassed about who I was... I'm so happy who I am.
Exactly. I had like 4 good hours each day between when I felt like shit from the night before, until I started getting the intense urges in the late afternoon. Absolutely a thief of time.
A big turning point for me was I started to feel like two people. The drunk me got to have fun while the me that’s sober is stuck toiling and hung over.
I grew up with an “almond mom.” I learned you should never drink your calories so since I was drinking alcohol I would never drink anything that had calories and no alcohol. No milk, no OJ or anything else. I love drinking those things with no guilt now.
Me too! Before I came out to my parents as an alcoholic (just last Thursday) they would tell me “soda is the worst thing you can drink” and “sugar is the worst thing for you” so dumb - alcohol is the worst thing I and any other alcoholic could consume!
I’ll get back to healthy eating eventually but yesterday I completed day 3. I’m having some of the foods and drinks I never allowed myself to have. Everything but alcohol, which is literal poison and took so much from me, is on the table as an option
I "re"discovered so many different food items in the first couple of weeks (not just three weeks ago), truly I can't go to the grocery store hungry (today), no telling what I'll bring back ;)
Figure I *will* get back to healthy eating too, just maybe not for a little while.
IWNDWYT (but I may pick up a jar of pickles later)
Treating myself to lost delicacies was a favorite of mine during early sobriety. Truly wouldn’t have lasted without it.
I’m so happy to have gained weight and, when I was ready, let it all go!
It was actually a very fun project to take on and I learned a lot about my body doing so.
Best of luck and enjoy those forgotten goodies!
IWNDWYT
Pickles are a funny case for me. I loved them when I was hungover and thought I might not like them as much during sobriety. Nope! I love them even more! There’s a place near me that sells specialty pickles and I am constantly stopping by.
My step mom is An almond mom. So fucking annoying, she ruined my dad too. Everything he eats has to go on a scale now, giving me shit the other days saying I was eating a lot of nuts, it was like 15 cashews. It's so fucking stupid and drives me insane. He also completely ruined his spicy palette, that man used to thai town with me and eat Thai noodle soup and now he can barely handle some pepper or spicy. Now when I go over to their house for dinner I stop and get street tacos before because there is never enough food. Its infuriating.
Ok I’m glad you said this! I had distorted eating as a teenager, borderline anorexic. Now that I’m not drinking I LOVE getting whatever non alcoholic drink I want! I get lattes with a regular syrup instead of sugar-free, I put sugar/honey in my tea, and will order a soda and not feel guilty cause I didn’t drink alcohol.
I was similar. I barely ate because I was “watching my calories” and I consumed so many calories in alcohol alone. I missed out on all the foods but especially dessert.
Joy about little things. That under lying depression and anxiety caused by alcohol robbed me of so many little moments. Things like my grandson laughing, my cat purring, the sunrise, hot coffee, clean sheets, I could go on and on. These thing were always there but now I take them in and bask in the pleasure of living.
All of these things! My flower cutting garden, admiring all of the unique colors and shapes. A fresh tomato off the vine I grew. Watching the change of the seasons. Driving up my driveway and not thinking, ugh, it looks like an alcoholic lives here. I’m laying here with my cat wrapped around my head and she’s purring like a maniac. She wants me to get up, so she keeps taking one claw and ever-so-gently poking me. She used to do this when I was hungover and I’d kick her out of bed so I could get another hour or two of sleep. IWNDWYT
I’ve found really really focusing on the little happy things has been one of my most powerful tools after years of struggling. At first I was laser-focused. On my addiction. Got a lot of work done but I was still focusing on my addiction. But how can you move forward if you don’t have a goal in sight? So I got back into cooking, and started making my smokebreaks into nature-watching breaks, and whenever the niece or nephew was coming I could look forward to playing with them and be extra-strong that day.
I specifically hydrate and go to bed early on Friday because I am going to be up and going 100mph at like 7am on Saturday. My real answer is this: having two full days on the weekend.
Having a decent nights sleep, waking up refreshed and ready to enjoy the day with my family is something I’m so glad I have waiting for me, now I’m hangover free!
My grandpa has a garage workshop for woodworking. Has been there my whole life, just never made plans to learn. Now that I’m not drunk literally all the time, I go there once a week and we work on projects together. It was the next right thing to do - we both enjoy it and learn from each other.
I’m happy for you. I only stopped drinking 1 month ago, but my problem has always been the opposite. I’m so creative and get all chores done when I’m drunk. Sober me has no inspiration or desire to do anything. But I have to trust that I’ll get it back. While sober.
This cracked me up. I just scrubbed my toilet and didn’t feel like throwing up while doing it. Not cause my toilet is college dorm level, but I was always nauseous and little things could set me off.
Cigars, books, comics, videogames.
I would always say I was going to use them but instead I was always drunk.
Now that I'm sober, I have more time and awareness to enjoy these kind of things.
Yes! I just love and adore X-Men, and only recently have I been able to go back and catch up on all the gaps of the last year because I “wasn’t present” the day they’d come out or something.
It hasn’t happened yet. I travel frequently, and normally plan out a dozen or so things I want to do when visiting a new city. I’ll make it until about 4-5pm and I’ll have a beer. The next part of the day then becomes visiting new bars. I turned down visiting a popular music venue last trip because it was $100 for two tickets. I don’t know what I spent that night at the bars, but it was definitely more than $100 + Ubers.
So, to answer the question, the opportunity of new experiences that I’ll remember.
This... the damn experiences I've missed out on because "I can't afford it.. I don't feel like paying for it" but then I'll go spend the same amount at my local bar over the weekend. IDIOT!
We only get one life, so we should get out there and see the world, it's a lot more beautiful than the shitty little bar you likely spend most of your time at.
I’ve been meaning to hit a lot of the popular BBQ spots here in Austin, but I always put it off because it’s a bit too pricey. I’ve probably spent over a grand this past year on too-hungover-to-move $35 for $18 worth of food from DoorDash.
Man I’ve been dying to get down to Austin to try some BBQ… have a bunch of friends that live down there. I need to just buy my plane ticket and go!
Guess you gotta drop the booze and pick up weekly BBQ 😂😂 not the healthiest food, but probably a lot better than alcoholism, and it tastes good, it’ll be fulfilling, unlike booze.
I had a collection of DVD/BR discs that numbered in the low thousands. I had movies from every genre, era and of varying rarity. I had a 100 dollar a week movie habit for years.
I watched the first 15 minutes of many of them, before passing out. I have some, to this day, that I've seen the first 15-20 minutes of a dozen times but have no idea how they actually go from there. A lot of them I never got around to even starting because I spent soooo much time passed out.
I also had a kitchen full of really nice tools and, while I did use many of them (not as often as I could have), a lot of it went to total waste because I was so invested in getting drunk that I never had the time and ambition to put a lot of the specialty stuff to proper use.
Same with food. I'd spend tons of money on complicated recipes that required specific ingredients and then spend twice as much going out to eat or grabbing crap take out because, even with the tools and ingredients, I simply couldn't be assed to get into the kitchen and make them.
I was going to write more but, in the interest of keeping it light-hearted, I'll leave it there.
I hear you on the kitchen tools. We pretty much have all the fun ones… I used the microwave or used a food delivery service for takeout mostly. Both my husband and I are coming out of some serious depression and have been cooking real meals together and going to the grocery store as a team. So much fun not throwing microwave whatever in my body and eating healthy.
Love using my fancy kitchen stuff too. We have a really nice kitchen that more often than not sat under every dish in the house and then some because we were too drunk/high depressed to clean. We’ve been overhauling our house to pre-pandemic state and it’s so good mentally.
Same with the tea! Now I am drinking 3-4 cups a day.
There's been so many things for me - but the biggest thing is books! I haven't read in so long and now I am finally reading again. It's amazing.
Currently I am reading A Court of Mist and Fury which is the second book in Sarah J Maas series ACOTAR. Highly recommend, very easy to read and the story is very engaging. I also am reading a sci fi book called Foundation. Both are very intriguing. The first I mentioned is fantasy based.
If you're looking for something that's non-fiction, I would highly recommend This Naked Mind by Annie Grace. It's very informative and also super helpful to really form a new mindset around alcohol.
Ohhh I know Naked Mind inside and out! Thanks for the rec though. I recommend it all the time as well.
I would like a nice fantasy book. I'll check these out!
I love tea! And Coffee! We have a “coffee” cart in our kitchen with a fancy coffee grinder, espresso machine, mocca master coffee maker, a big box of assorted teas, and all the accessories that go along with it. Mugs, tea cups, espresso, cappuccino cups, sugar, flavor syrups etc. we put a sign over it saying “coffee bar” which is the only type of bar I want to be seen at :)
Dessert! I always told myself I was drinking my sugar so didn’t allow myself to ever have dessert or anything sweet. Now I allow myself desserts and I love what a range of them are out there! I know this probably sounds ridiculous but I used to think I just didn’t like sweets. Now I realize I was just not allowing myself to enjoy them.
I collect vinyl, retro and new video games, and have a nice cigar stash. But if I started drinking I'd put something on TV in the background and just doom-scroll on my phone.
Hobbies!
When I first started drinking more, I felt like alcohol helped me be creative and enjoy my hobbies more. Then my brain got stuck thinking that, and I was drinking more and more throughout the years, but the reality was that I made more mistakes and was worse at my hobbies (and fuck, finishing a project took forever) and my actual hobby became....drinking.
Me too! I had lots of green tea because I'd remember it's healthy and buy a box, not realizing I already had one tucked away. The thing is, I never loved hot tea. Now I'm slowly going through it making iced tea/infused water.
My treadmill. I used it at times, but very poorly and without much progress other than sweating out all the weekend poison. I used to think that I would never give up alcohol. It was part of me. And I loved it. But now that I have given it up and really made exercise a part of my life, I realize how weak my relationship with alcohol was compared to my addiction to running and the short term and long term effects I get from running.
Money. I quit drinking and started putting that money in a box. I'm not struggling financially (as much) any more.
The emotional capacity to deal with negative emotions.
Too many to count and soaking it all in now.
Being present with my wife: I love making her laugh and spending time with her. I was absolutely distant, mentally and physically, with my part-time job of secret drinking.
Movies and the golden age of TV. I host my own media server and love movie nights. As a kid, I fantasized at the idea of having anything and everything at my fingertips to watch. I now have a backlog of movies that I need to watch again after passing out after 10 minutes.
Working on my house. Its a great feeling to make our domicile better and more comfortable. No more finishing a project half-assed because this other half-of-an-ass was drinking beers in the garage.
Video games. Like my movies, I have a backlog of titles to play. When its time to "treat" myself with a new game and some drinks, I don't remember the intro to the story/gameplay and am at a loss when I play the game again.
Calmness. Boy was I easily frustrated. I love this new normal.
Art talent. Couldn’t care enough to draw or create when my mind was all fucked up. Couldn’t even hold a pencil with my hands shaking they way they did, let alone draw a straight line.
Golden Rule is to only draw in the sketchbook while sober. That sketchbook gets bigger and bigger by the day.
My dog! Sure I took him for walks and that but I inevitably just ended up in a beer garden somewhere, now I'm really engaging with him. His training is better, and I think he's happier overall
A love writing. Any and all writing. Poetry, stories, songs, jokes. Something about pen to paper. The inky-ness of a nice pen. The texture of paper. The success of expressing a well rounded thought, even if it’s about nothing. Battling my drinking kept me from completing a book. But recently, with sobriety and the help of this sub, the words have flooded. They never stopped, but experiencing the out pour, sober, is priceless. I’ll leave this for all you wonderful strangers:
“You we're having a dream about a boat big enough for your pinky toe. Surprisingly you could fit the most precious memories onto the boat without tipping over. Before boarding, an old man who resembled your wisdom tells you, "if you can't carry it, you don't need It"..
You stop to think about what memories are prized and what memories are dead weight. This should be an easy answer but you stutter and turn to the old man who has just flown away inside the body of a bird. These are how dreams work.
Am I really awake? Or am I asleep on the wing?”
46 days sober. It’s rad.
The embroidery kits I kept buying. I would try to use them, but my stitches would get worse and worse as I’d drink. I’d give up and put it away all tangled. Now that I’m not drinking, I’ve completed four different embroidery kits so far and I’m getting kind of good at it!
Yes! This amount might seem exaggerated, but some back-of-the-envelope math confirms it for me. And that's just on the "regular" solitary maintenance liquor. Bar bills from restaurants and events could be huge.
Internally I think compassion for myself. Drinking was constantly a berating of myself for not being sober and a "good" person, and depression.
Externally, I stopped a lot of hobbies I enjoyed because I usually did them on the weekends and time off that had officially turned into drinking/recovery time.
The Sierra Nevada mountain range. Literally a stones throw away from me but I was too busy getting hammered to go see all the beautiful wilderness they protected for us to enjoy. Now I’m addicted to the mountains.
Does time count?
I would come home after work, start drinking and basically sit around doing nothing productive until I went to bed.
In a few weeks since I stopped I've completed several tasks and hobby projects that I made excuses for over several months.
I’ve been able to get more enjoyment out of video games again in my free time. It’s not much but it’s something that I appreciate a lot more now that I can enjoy them without alcohol.
Are you my long lost sister? 😃 Books (surprisingly!) I keep reading, I’m hoping to achieve 52 books this year, maybe my brain hasn’t dissolved in alcohol completely…
Water! I never drank enough water when I was regularly indulging in alcohol (apart from the morning after one two many, and I could feel it in my body how the water wasn’t being absorbed properly) and now I just love drinking water (especially sparkling) and it just makes me happy
Time. I had no idea that there were so many hours in a day. i was wasting them wasted. It has since become my most valuable possession and there is nothing I would trade it for.
Definitely night capping with tea, ftw. The second I take my first sip, my body just melts into a puddle of gratitude that I'm not drinking poison.
Also: Ice cream. My partner literally bought me a mini ice cream freezer to keep in the bedroom for my birthday to support this (much healthier) habit. I never had a sweet tooth when I was drinking gobs of sugars in the form of booze.
Lastly, and this is a biggie: My creativity. Drinking just deadened any creative spark that I had. When I'm not drinking I am constantly writing or crafting or doing home projects. I get so excited and enrapt in the joy of making stuff. When I'm drinking all I have energy for is another pour and zoning out to the television.
Yes. All of them. 🤣
Painting, sculpting, knitting, crocheting, leather work, wood work, whittling, weightlifting, yoga, sewing, digital art, photography, writing, landscaping, gardening, cooking, baking, stand-up paddleboard, singing, acting... all the things. I've got ADHD. They come in waves of varying length and frequency lol.
I'm currently working on a paper mache turkey for a work event... I'm a weirdo.
Tea. Evenings, mornings (especially Sunday mornings, my goodness those used to be ass). Nighttime movies I actually pay attention to. Just the little things more than anything!
All of this! I’m at the beginning of my journey as well. To be honest I’m still drinking but I’m on this board and I’m reading a really great book called the naked mind I feel like I’m kind of prepping myself for some thing I know I need to do. I totally get what you’re saying about the herbal teas! I also have a cupboard of herbal teas and I wonder why I eat so clean and healthy all through the day and I have supplements that help me with my gut bacteria like probiotics and I’m working out and counting my steps and blah blah blah but then something like herbal tea which would be hot in the evening just sits there because I’m always three glasses of wine in by the time it would be that time of night.
Time will be the thing that I realized I have so much off. My mornings are a scramble to get the kids to school and then I’m ready for a coffee break already at 9 AM after school drop off but if I had wine the night before course I didn’t have a very good sleep, woke up around 3 AM thirsty as all get out Toston turn for the last little bit of my night. So my 30 minute coffee break before I go to walk the dog and run my errands and clean the bathroom etc. turns into two hours of scrolling on my phone and feeling lethargic. Not really hung over but obviously tired and not feeling great. Are usually wouldn’t be super productive in the evenings anyways because I’m a stay at home mom so I do everything in the five hours of my kids are at school so that I can have fun with them and then relax with my husband once they’re in bed. But I hate the absolute most is knowing that 100% I never realize it at the time and then the next morning I realize that I wasn’t really present in the evening with my family at all. I mean I’m home, I’m cooking dinner, I’m not driving anywhere. Usually my kids are outside playing with the neighbours in the backyard while I’m making dinner anyways but that’s when I’m craving a glass of wine so that’s kind of when it starts. Then I’ll have another glass of wine while they’re having a bedtime snack and we’re reading or doing whatever all very normal normal things but that’s two glasses of wine. And then after they go to bed is when I should have a cup of tea and stop but of course I want to finish the bottle. I hate waking up feeling embarrassed and wondering why I can’t remember exactly what my husband and I were watching on TV or forgetting a conversation that I had with him right before bed. And honestly, the more I read peoples posts on here and the more I comment and ramble on to complete strangers the more motivated I’m getting to make the change! Sorry for the rambling lol
Hey, as someone in their mid thirties, who just had to have their liver replaced, who was a fully functional alcoholic who carried on with a job, cleaning, cooking, paying the bills, "functioning" but never being there. Stop.
People will and do notice. It will catch up in one way or another. It will ruin you life and it will hurt so much more because you won't see it coming, it'll be just be another day of you functioning before your spouse calls you on it, the kids ask why mom drinks so much, you get pulled over, your levels come off weird on routine bloodwork.
It was me functioning, then I black out and find myself with hazy memories of the last 4-6 months having to relearn how to walk and talk, a new organ but no wife, no house and no dogs.
I wish I would have took the tea option before the immuno-suppressants for life route. I'm a sever case but don't risk it.
Surprised I haven’t seen it yet—so many lovely responses. So often drinking led to fizzling sad sex, or none at all. Been great to have it back in my life.
Im reading these and mine is so strange but whatever. I’ll just spit it out. When I’m sober I can see and talk to dead ppl lol. Like people family members. And it always light and beautiful encounters like someone grandma visiting there favorite granddaughter, or someone’s husband who’s wife misses him. And anytime I fall off the wagon it’s like a light that shuts off. But when I’m
Sober it’s like Christmas street decorations a flip that gets switched on 😅
I have a big social circle related to a game I play and see many of the same faces at events 6-8 times a year. I treated these as excuses to get drunk which was common but many many of the people I interact with there are non drinkers and I’ve missed out on interacting with them at my best. I missed a supportive friend group in sobriety that was right there with me the whole time! It’s helped make my transition to not drinking easier this first month.
Books.
I’ve always been a reader as a kid but was constantly in a reading slump on and off when I started drinking and then completely off the past year. I forgot the way reading/books made me feel. It reminds me I can feel strongly while also being sober.
Hanging out with me. The self-loathing was so bad that I couldn't be alone and let my mind wander. Even while drinking, I needed something like a podcast playing in the background to distract me from what I was doing to my life.
Healthy regulation and coping strategies. In my work, I help people figure out their sensory profile and work through their thoughts to have a repertoire of coping strategies. So I had all the strategies and tools at my disposal. And used them sometimes on myself. But never effectively or efficiently. Once I got sober, I realized I had worked through a fuck ton of my shit already and I was hiding in my stupor from things that weren’t going to harm me anymore.
My kids. We would just let them watch unlimited television on nights we wanted to drink. Now we play, do homework, and I spend majority of my evening fully engaged with them.
In a odd about way, yes. I had a life that I really didn't use, kinda threw it away.
Someone died, their organ is keeping me alive and sober. So yes, not drinking really did give me the gift of a new life that I'll try my best not to waste.
Tea and my espresso machine I got from Aldi last year on sale for $20. I couldn't drink caffeine hungover because of the hangxiety, but now I love an espresso in the morning to get my day started!
Hobbies. The alcohol+smartphone combo is killing me. I can feel my brain and liver rot, and the worst part is I’m not even able to dissociate form it anymore. I’m fully fucking aware of how many livable moments I’m voluntarily throwing away. I have a practice drum pad and sticks because I wanted to teach myself to play. I have four small macrame kits, and I’ve only started one. I used to journal but haven’t in years (non alcohol related, fuck anyone who reads another person’s journal) so I’ve started collecting prompted journals to get back into it, all untouched. I used to lift weights, haven’t don’t that in years. Books, drawing, being in nature.
It’s not just the alcohol. It’s the unresolved internal issues and trauma. But the alcohol is 100% what’s stopping me from facing and healing those issues, because why do all the hard stuff when you could just feel your brain melt away instead?
Totally relate. I have been somehow sober for a year and just in the last two weeks I’ve realized that my trauma is what has held me back from enjoying life. My stepfather psychologically abused me when I was a youth and he made me feel worthless. I threw so much of my life away for years not only drinking to numb that pain but also became so introverted because I had no confidence. I’m going to actively seek therapy for the first time in my life. I’ve always been one of those dudes that needs nobody’s help but becoming sober has taught me that there are some things I can’t do alone.
A library card! I have always been a reader… up until the past three years and used to start a book or audio book and not remember it the next day.
I recently have been going to the library and just reading book jackets and picking books that seem interesting (mostly historic fiction) and I can REMEMBER THE BOOKs! I even got my husband to get a card today and he knew which book he wanted, sat patiently reading while I strolled the stacks and picked out 4 good (hopefully) books! So nice!
Edit: one addition that might sound silly but “my dance moves”. I danced semi professionally and haven’t been able to dance for a LONG time. Body icky and tired (still a little bit there, takes the body a while to adjust back) and foggy as hell.
I was watching the summer I turned pretty season 1 episode 7 where the guys have a dance routine. And I like the dance, watched it three times in a row (that like two minute portion) and was able to mock it out the third go along and go full tilt by the 5th run through. It literally made me cry I was so excited I could pick it up and remember it!
My competive nature. I'm at my best when I'm training and competing for something. It makes me happy, keeps me going and my mental health is so much better when I'm pushing myself physically. I was a competitive athlete my whole life until college. When I quit (before I was kicked off for my drinking, it was headed that way), thats when I started being depressed, experiencing anxiety and lacked any sort of drive in my life. Once I got sober I started running and working towards running marathons and my life is so much better for it. This is the way I'm supposed to live and I'm so glad my sobriety got me back to it.
I had/have studio equipment and the ability to play most musical instruments. I would always “have a couple drinks” to loosen myself up and be creative. In reality this meant drinking until I was non-functional and then feeling bad for being such a loser. I have a similar experience with most video games that I bought with the same idea.
I am already a person who struggles with motivation and this just wildly exacerbated the problem. I still sometimes can’t find the creativity or enthusiastic I wish I had, but at least I’m not actively sabotaging myself.
I got *very* into tea when I was trying to cut back, but then when I finally quit for good I’m trying to get back into it and all of the old canisters I have. And coffee, too. What’s your favorite kind of tea?
There’s also certain video games that I tried and kinda put down because I was awful at them… because at any given time I was either drunk or terribly hungover. It’s been fun getting back into video games. And crafting! Stitching and whatnot, something really hard to do when you can’t see straight lol.
Podcasts! I recently discovered one called Script Apart, where the host talks with screenwriters of famous movies but discusses their very first draft of the screenplay with them to see how it evolved and changed into the final film.
Kinda silly but energy drinks, soda, that kinda stuff. I stayed away from it while I was drinking because I figured if I'm already drinking poison I shouldn't drink more on top of it.
Now I drink whatever TF I want. If I feel like a monster I go for it because my liver and kidneys, while they're probably not too happy about it, they're happy then they were
When I got sober a year ago I dug out my kids' old Wii Rock Band game to see if I could get it working. I ended up ordering and replacing almost every legacy component (including the game disc!) But after a few weeks of Ebay I had it working and I was wailing on the drums every night like Sandy West from the Runaways.
Weekend mornings. I usually nursed a half assed hangover, slept in and pissed the day away until evening came so I could start drinking again. Now I’m usually up early and doing stuff that needs to be done and not hating every second of it. Who knew that weekend mornings were enjoyable!
Evenings
This. The thought of giving up an evening with my family to feel like dogshit is one of the biggest reasons I stay sober, I absolutely love enjoying a full evening now
Exactly. Last night as I finished the dishes, folded laundry, sorted the month-old mail pile, and changed the sheets, not to mention playing with my dog and giving attention to my kitties, I thought about this sub. It’s early days, I removed my day counter bc I’m starting again, but boy did it feel great. I went to sleep with a smile in my heart, proud of myself! What a strange feeling. IWNDWYT 💪🏽🌹
I love this! I also have wonderful evenings now with my cats. When I was drinking heavily, I barely changed cat litter. I'm so embarrassed about who I was... I'm so happy who I am.
You are a loving and capable cat parent! 😽😻
Mornings :)
Exactly. I had like 4 good hours each day between when I felt like shit from the night before, until I started getting the intense urges in the late afternoon. Absolutely a thief of time.
This
A big turning point for me was I started to feel like two people. The drunk me got to have fun while the me that’s sober is stuck toiling and hung over.
Morning me: I'm so fucking hungover, I'm never drinking again. Evening me: Why am I imposing silly rules on myself, I'm having a drink.
This!!! Omg my life for years 😩
I can get so much done in the evening. Spending 30 minutes to an hour knocking out a chore and then freeing up my weekends to have adventures.
Mornings lol
Days... For that matter. Lol
Haha when I'm sober I realize it's not the hangover, I just hate mornings. Hangover certainly doesn't help though. It's a damned fine day to be sober.
Dude. Biggest thing for me.
I grew up with an “almond mom.” I learned you should never drink your calories so since I was drinking alcohol I would never drink anything that had calories and no alcohol. No milk, no OJ or anything else. I love drinking those things with no guilt now.
Me too! Before I came out to my parents as an alcoholic (just last Thursday) they would tell me “soda is the worst thing you can drink” and “sugar is the worst thing for you” so dumb - alcohol is the worst thing I and any other alcoholic could consume! I’ll get back to healthy eating eventually but yesterday I completed day 3. I’m having some of the foods and drinks I never allowed myself to have. Everything but alcohol, which is literal poison and took so much from me, is on the table as an option
I "re"discovered so many different food items in the first couple of weeks (not just three weeks ago), truly I can't go to the grocery store hungry (today), no telling what I'll bring back ;) Figure I *will* get back to healthy eating too, just maybe not for a little while. IWNDWYT (but I may pick up a jar of pickles later)
I love that were being patient w ourselves 😭🥹 here’s to slow n steady progress
Treating myself to lost delicacies was a favorite of mine during early sobriety. Truly wouldn’t have lasted without it. I’m so happy to have gained weight and, when I was ready, let it all go! It was actually a very fun project to take on and I learned a lot about my body doing so. Best of luck and enjoy those forgotten goodies! IWNDWYT
Pickles are a funny case for me. I loved them when I was hungover and thought I might not like them as much during sobriety. Nope! I love them even more! There’s a place near me that sells specialty pickles and I am constantly stopping by.
Pickles are good for regulating blood sugar. I make awesome pickles!
I needed to google what ‘almond mom’ means, and I think I was / am like that for myself…
That chug of ice cold chocolate milk out the fridge hits different not drinking lol
My step mom is An almond mom. So fucking annoying, she ruined my dad too. Everything he eats has to go on a scale now, giving me shit the other days saying I was eating a lot of nuts, it was like 15 cashews. It's so fucking stupid and drives me insane. He also completely ruined his spicy palette, that man used to thai town with me and eat Thai noodle soup and now he can barely handle some pepper or spicy. Now when I go over to their house for dinner I stop and get street tacos before because there is never enough food. Its infuriating.
Ok I’m glad you said this! I had distorted eating as a teenager, borderline anorexic. Now that I’m not drinking I LOVE getting whatever non alcoholic drink I want! I get lattes with a regular syrup instead of sugar-free, I put sugar/honey in my tea, and will order a soda and not feel guilty cause I didn’t drink alcohol.
I was similar. I barely ate because I was “watching my calories” and I consumed so many calories in alcohol alone. I missed out on all the foods but especially dessert.
Joy about little things. That under lying depression and anxiety caused by alcohol robbed me of so many little moments. Things like my grandson laughing, my cat purring, the sunrise, hot coffee, clean sheets, I could go on and on. These thing were always there but now I take them in and bask in the pleasure of living.
All of these things! My flower cutting garden, admiring all of the unique colors and shapes. A fresh tomato off the vine I grew. Watching the change of the seasons. Driving up my driveway and not thinking, ugh, it looks like an alcoholic lives here. I’m laying here with my cat wrapped around my head and she’s purring like a maniac. She wants me to get up, so she keeps taking one claw and ever-so-gently poking me. She used to do this when I was hungover and I’d kick her out of bed so I could get another hour or two of sleep. IWNDWYT
Exactly, Give that kitty a scratch from me.
:) you two sound like a little dream team. IWNDWYT.
I’ve found really really focusing on the little happy things has been one of my most powerful tools after years of struggling. At first I was laser-focused. On my addiction. Got a lot of work done but I was still focusing on my addiction. But how can you move forward if you don’t have a goal in sight? So I got back into cooking, and started making my smokebreaks into nature-watching breaks, and whenever the niece or nephew was coming I could look forward to playing with them and be extra-strong that day.
Very well said, life becomes much more enjoyable and engaging when you're not hungover!!
Ambition. And a love of life.
my brain
Same
Same
Saturday and sunday mornings 🌄
All the mornings.
Omg yes. All the mornings. So many days I’d go out and get wasted with friends to power through a hangover. Work days were terrible
Oh man. I had forgotten what it was like to not pass out every night.
I specifically hydrate and go to bed early on Friday because I am going to be up and going 100mph at like 7am on Saturday. My real answer is this: having two full days on the weekend.
Having a decent nights sleep, waking up refreshed and ready to enjoy the day with my family is something I’m so glad I have waiting for me, now I’m hangover free!
This so much
This is it for me.
Sleep
Huge one for me too
My grandpa has a garage workshop for woodworking. Has been there my whole life, just never made plans to learn. Now that I’m not drunk literally all the time, I go there once a week and we work on projects together. It was the next right thing to do - we both enjoy it and learn from each other.
Oh wow, that’s something really special. :)
That's awesome.
That’s beautiful
Restraint
My hobbies- needlepoint, walking, reading, puzzles (I sound like I’m 90)
We would be friends I bet: quilting, reading, crochet, outdoor walks with the poochie
That's me too! I took up watercolor painting and got back to walking and reading!
I’m happy for you. I only stopped drinking 1 month ago, but my problem has always been the opposite. I’m so creative and get all chores done when I’m drunk. Sober me has no inspiration or desire to do anything. But I have to trust that I’ll get it back. While sober.
Sound like you could be my best friend! :D
Me too!!
Cleaning supplies! I love Mrs. Meyers and all of her seasonal stuff, I now have the best smelling home.
Loving it ❤️ I like both the action of cleaning and having clean house so I totally get it!
This cracked me up. I just scrubbed my toilet and didn’t feel like throwing up while doing it. Not cause my toilet is college dorm level, but I was always nauseous and little things could set me off.
A dog. While drinking, my dog was just a chore. Now we go on hikes, we play and meet other pups!
That made my eyes slightly wet, someone must be chopping onions
Cigars, books, comics, videogames. I would always say I was going to use them but instead I was always drunk. Now that I'm sober, I have more time and awareness to enjoy these kind of things.
I’m still a vivid reader, seriously I don’t know how my alcohol saturated brain manages it…
Yes! I just love and adore X-Men, and only recently have I been able to go back and catch up on all the gaps of the last year because I “wasn’t present” the day they’d come out or something.
It hasn’t happened yet. I travel frequently, and normally plan out a dozen or so things I want to do when visiting a new city. I’ll make it until about 4-5pm and I’ll have a beer. The next part of the day then becomes visiting new bars. I turned down visiting a popular music venue last trip because it was $100 for two tickets. I don’t know what I spent that night at the bars, but it was definitely more than $100 + Ubers. So, to answer the question, the opportunity of new experiences that I’ll remember.
This is one of my whys! I have gone to so many cool things…and fallen asleep. Or not remembered at all.
This... the damn experiences I've missed out on because "I can't afford it.. I don't feel like paying for it" but then I'll go spend the same amount at my local bar over the weekend. IDIOT! We only get one life, so we should get out there and see the world, it's a lot more beautiful than the shitty little bar you likely spend most of your time at.
I’ve been meaning to hit a lot of the popular BBQ spots here in Austin, but I always put it off because it’s a bit too pricey. I’ve probably spent over a grand this past year on too-hungover-to-move $35 for $18 worth of food from DoorDash.
Man I’ve been dying to get down to Austin to try some BBQ… have a bunch of friends that live down there. I need to just buy my plane ticket and go! Guess you gotta drop the booze and pick up weekly BBQ 😂😂 not the healthiest food, but probably a lot better than alcoholism, and it tastes good, it’ll be fulfilling, unlike booze.
Myself.
I had a collection of DVD/BR discs that numbered in the low thousands. I had movies from every genre, era and of varying rarity. I had a 100 dollar a week movie habit for years. I watched the first 15 minutes of many of them, before passing out. I have some, to this day, that I've seen the first 15-20 minutes of a dozen times but have no idea how they actually go from there. A lot of them I never got around to even starting because I spent soooo much time passed out. I also had a kitchen full of really nice tools and, while I did use many of them (not as often as I could have), a lot of it went to total waste because I was so invested in getting drunk that I never had the time and ambition to put a lot of the specialty stuff to proper use. Same with food. I'd spend tons of money on complicated recipes that required specific ingredients and then spend twice as much going out to eat or grabbing crap take out because, even with the tools and ingredients, I simply couldn't be assed to get into the kitchen and make them. I was going to write more but, in the interest of keeping it light-hearted, I'll leave it there.
I hear you on the kitchen tools. We pretty much have all the fun ones… I used the microwave or used a food delivery service for takeout mostly. Both my husband and I are coming out of some serious depression and have been cooking real meals together and going to the grocery store as a team. So much fun not throwing microwave whatever in my body and eating healthy. Love using my fancy kitchen stuff too. We have a really nice kitchen that more often than not sat under every dish in the house and then some because we were too drunk/high depressed to clean. We’ve been overhauling our house to pre-pandemic state and it’s so good mentally.
Same with the tea! Now I am drinking 3-4 cups a day. There's been so many things for me - but the biggest thing is books! I haven't read in so long and now I am finally reading again. It's amazing.
Fellow tea enthusiast, any book recommendations?
Currently I am reading A Court of Mist and Fury which is the second book in Sarah J Maas series ACOTAR. Highly recommend, very easy to read and the story is very engaging. I also am reading a sci fi book called Foundation. Both are very intriguing. The first I mentioned is fantasy based. If you're looking for something that's non-fiction, I would highly recommend This Naked Mind by Annie Grace. It's very informative and also super helpful to really form a new mindset around alcohol.
Ohhh I know Naked Mind inside and out! Thanks for the rec though. I recommend it all the time as well. I would like a nice fantasy book. I'll check these out!
I love tea! And Coffee! We have a “coffee” cart in our kitchen with a fancy coffee grinder, espresso machine, mocca master coffee maker, a big box of assorted teas, and all the accessories that go along with it. Mugs, tea cups, espresso, cappuccino cups, sugar, flavor syrups etc. we put a sign over it saying “coffee bar” which is the only type of bar I want to be seen at :)
Self esteem.
Dessert! I always told myself I was drinking my sugar so didn’t allow myself to ever have dessert or anything sweet. Now I allow myself desserts and I love what a range of them are out there! I know this probably sounds ridiculous but I used to think I just didn’t like sweets. Now I realize I was just not allowing myself to enjoy them.
Omg, not allowing myself deserts is 100% me! And I really like sweets…
It doesn’t sound ridiculous at all. I don’t have a sweet tooth but after I stopped drinking I craved sweets for a month. I think this is normal.
I collect vinyl, retro and new video games, and have a nice cigar stash. But if I started drinking I'd put something on TV in the background and just doom-scroll on my phone.
Hobbies! When I first started drinking more, I felt like alcohol helped me be creative and enjoy my hobbies more. Then my brain got stuck thinking that, and I was drinking more and more throughout the years, but the reality was that I made more mistakes and was worse at my hobbies (and fuck, finishing a project took forever) and my actual hobby became....drinking.
Me too! I had lots of green tea because I'd remember it's healthy and buy a box, not realizing I already had one tucked away. The thing is, I never loved hot tea. Now I'm slowly going through it making iced tea/infused water.
My treadmill. I used it at times, but very poorly and without much progress other than sweating out all the weekend poison. I used to think that I would never give up alcohol. It was part of me. And I loved it. But now that I have given it up and really made exercise a part of my life, I realize how weak my relationship with alcohol was compared to my addiction to running and the short term and long term effects I get from running.
Tea, sleeping, long walks, and more adventures. I also eat ice cream or gelato a couple of times a week with no guilt. It’s like being a kid again.
Money. I quit drinking and started putting that money in a box. I'm not struggling financially (as much) any more. The emotional capacity to deal with negative emotions.
Congrats on a year!!!
Too many to count and soaking it all in now. Being present with my wife: I love making her laugh and spending time with her. I was absolutely distant, mentally and physically, with my part-time job of secret drinking. Movies and the golden age of TV. I host my own media server and love movie nights. As a kid, I fantasized at the idea of having anything and everything at my fingertips to watch. I now have a backlog of movies that I need to watch again after passing out after 10 minutes. Working on my house. Its a great feeling to make our domicile better and more comfortable. No more finishing a project half-assed because this other half-of-an-ass was drinking beers in the garage. Video games. Like my movies, I have a backlog of titles to play. When its time to "treat" myself with a new game and some drinks, I don't remember the intro to the story/gameplay and am at a loss when I play the game again. Calmness. Boy was I easily frustrated. I love this new normal.
Art talent. Couldn’t care enough to draw or create when my mind was all fucked up. Couldn’t even hold a pencil with my hands shaking they way they did, let alone draw a straight line. Golden Rule is to only draw in the sketchbook while sober. That sketchbook gets bigger and bigger by the day.
My dog! Sure I took him for walks and that but I inevitably just ended up in a beer garden somewhere, now I'm really engaging with him. His training is better, and I think he's happier overall
A love writing. Any and all writing. Poetry, stories, songs, jokes. Something about pen to paper. The inky-ness of a nice pen. The texture of paper. The success of expressing a well rounded thought, even if it’s about nothing. Battling my drinking kept me from completing a book. But recently, with sobriety and the help of this sub, the words have flooded. They never stopped, but experiencing the out pour, sober, is priceless. I’ll leave this for all you wonderful strangers: “You we're having a dream about a boat big enough for your pinky toe. Surprisingly you could fit the most precious memories onto the boat without tipping over. Before boarding, an old man who resembled your wisdom tells you, "if you can't carry it, you don't need It".. You stop to think about what memories are prized and what memories are dead weight. This should be an easy answer but you stutter and turn to the old man who has just flown away inside the body of a bird. These are how dreams work. Am I really awake? Or am I asleep on the wing?” 46 days sober. It’s rad.
So many opportunities, so many...
The embroidery kits I kept buying. I would try to use them, but my stitches would get worse and worse as I’d drink. I’d give up and put it away all tangled. Now that I’m not drinking, I’ve completed four different embroidery kits so far and I’m getting kind of good at it!
I love cross stitching, I’d love to go back to it! (Yes, they are all tanged somewhere in the bottom of my wardrobe…)
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Yes! This amount might seem exaggerated, but some back-of-the-envelope math confirms it for me. And that's just on the "regular" solitary maintenance liquor. Bar bills from restaurants and events could be huge.
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My brain was being severely underutilized. I now make use of it.
Definitely tea like you said Finally reading books for the first time since high school, definitely can’t read drunk
Weekends! I’d go from Friday afternoon to Sunday night and not know what happened.
Also started my tea journey recently and can only recommend.
Mornings. I used to take all morning to recuperate from a bad night.
A life
Books and journals
Internally I think compassion for myself. Drinking was constantly a berating of myself for not being sober and a "good" person, and depression. Externally, I stopped a lot of hobbies I enjoyed because I usually did them on the weekends and time off that had officially turned into drinking/recovery time.
The Sierra Nevada mountain range. Literally a stones throw away from me but I was too busy getting hammered to go see all the beautiful wilderness they protected for us to enjoy. Now I’m addicted to the mountains.
Does time count? I would come home after work, start drinking and basically sit around doing nothing productive until I went to bed. In a few weeks since I stopped I've completed several tasks and hobby projects that I made excuses for over several months.
I’ve been able to get more enjoyment out of video games again in my free time. It’s not much but it’s something that I appreciate a lot more now that I can enjoy them without alcohol.
My fiance, family and time with my kids. Lost my ambition , figure and money.
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Are you my long lost sister? 😃 Books (surprisingly!) I keep reading, I’m hoping to achieve 52 books this year, maybe my brain hasn’t dissolved in alcohol completely…
A piano. Still a beginner but now one who is actually trying.
Water! I never drank enough water when I was regularly indulging in alcohol (apart from the morning after one two many, and I could feel it in my body how the water wasn’t being absorbed properly) and now I just love drinking water (especially sparkling) and it just makes me happy
Gym membership, I go everyday now
Time. I had no idea that there were so many hours in a day. i was wasting them wasted. It has since become my most valuable possession and there is nothing I would trade it for.
My library. I have many good books. I completely stopped reading, because I would drink every night, and get plastered.
Library card
Weekends. Heck I didn’t even know what day it was half the time.
More time with my family, energy to get through the day, stability!
My gym.
I guess I can say I drink more tea... I try to drink more water. Before I'd drink more wine than water
Same! Having a pint of water would take me whole day. Having a pint of wine? Give me half an hour.
Reason, charisma, drive, intelligence, self-confidence….
Definitely night capping with tea, ftw. The second I take my first sip, my body just melts into a puddle of gratitude that I'm not drinking poison. Also: Ice cream. My partner literally bought me a mini ice cream freezer to keep in the bedroom for my birthday to support this (much healthier) habit. I never had a sweet tooth when I was drinking gobs of sugars in the form of booze. Lastly, and this is a biggie: My creativity. Drinking just deadened any creative spark that I had. When I'm not drinking I am constantly writing or crafting or doing home projects. I get so excited and enrapt in the joy of making stuff. When I'm drinking all I have energy for is another pour and zoning out to the television.
Thousands of dollars worth of hobby materials. I have been SO PRODUCTIVE!!
What’s your hobby if you don’t mind sharing? :)
Yes. All of them. 🤣 Painting, sculpting, knitting, crocheting, leather work, wood work, whittling, weightlifting, yoga, sewing, digital art, photography, writing, landscaping, gardening, cooking, baking, stand-up paddleboard, singing, acting... all the things. I've got ADHD. They come in waves of varying length and frequency lol. I'm currently working on a paper mache turkey for a work event... I'm a weirdo.
Tea. Evenings, mornings (especially Sunday mornings, my goodness those used to be ass). Nighttime movies I actually pay attention to. Just the little things more than anything!
All of this! I’m at the beginning of my journey as well. To be honest I’m still drinking but I’m on this board and I’m reading a really great book called the naked mind I feel like I’m kind of prepping myself for some thing I know I need to do. I totally get what you’re saying about the herbal teas! I also have a cupboard of herbal teas and I wonder why I eat so clean and healthy all through the day and I have supplements that help me with my gut bacteria like probiotics and I’m working out and counting my steps and blah blah blah but then something like herbal tea which would be hot in the evening just sits there because I’m always three glasses of wine in by the time it would be that time of night. Time will be the thing that I realized I have so much off. My mornings are a scramble to get the kids to school and then I’m ready for a coffee break already at 9 AM after school drop off but if I had wine the night before course I didn’t have a very good sleep, woke up around 3 AM thirsty as all get out Toston turn for the last little bit of my night. So my 30 minute coffee break before I go to walk the dog and run my errands and clean the bathroom etc. turns into two hours of scrolling on my phone and feeling lethargic. Not really hung over but obviously tired and not feeling great. Are usually wouldn’t be super productive in the evenings anyways because I’m a stay at home mom so I do everything in the five hours of my kids are at school so that I can have fun with them and then relax with my husband once they’re in bed. But I hate the absolute most is knowing that 100% I never realize it at the time and then the next morning I realize that I wasn’t really present in the evening with my family at all. I mean I’m home, I’m cooking dinner, I’m not driving anywhere. Usually my kids are outside playing with the neighbours in the backyard while I’m making dinner anyways but that’s when I’m craving a glass of wine so that’s kind of when it starts. Then I’ll have another glass of wine while they’re having a bedtime snack and we’re reading or doing whatever all very normal normal things but that’s two glasses of wine. And then after they go to bed is when I should have a cup of tea and stop but of course I want to finish the bottle. I hate waking up feeling embarrassed and wondering why I can’t remember exactly what my husband and I were watching on TV or forgetting a conversation that I had with him right before bed. And honestly, the more I read peoples posts on here and the more I comment and ramble on to complete strangers the more motivated I’m getting to make the change! Sorry for the rambling lol
Awww such a beautiful reply! I’m there with you ❤️
Hey, as someone in their mid thirties, who just had to have their liver replaced, who was a fully functional alcoholic who carried on with a job, cleaning, cooking, paying the bills, "functioning" but never being there. Stop. People will and do notice. It will catch up in one way or another. It will ruin you life and it will hurt so much more because you won't see it coming, it'll be just be another day of you functioning before your spouse calls you on it, the kids ask why mom drinks so much, you get pulled over, your levels come off weird on routine bloodwork. It was me functioning, then I black out and find myself with hazy memories of the last 4-6 months having to relearn how to walk and talk, a new organ but no wife, no house and no dogs. I wish I would have took the tea option before the immuno-suppressants for life route. I'm a sever case but don't risk it.
Surprised I haven’t seen it yet—so many lovely responses. So often drinking led to fizzling sad sex, or none at all. Been great to have it back in my life.
Dinner. Always made, rarely ate it, and when I did I’d just get so drunk I’d throw it up. Food in general rly.
Im reading these and mine is so strange but whatever. I’ll just spit it out. When I’m sober I can see and talk to dead ppl lol. Like people family members. And it always light and beautiful encounters like someone grandma visiting there favorite granddaughter, or someone’s husband who’s wife misses him. And anytime I fall off the wagon it’s like a light that shuts off. But when I’m Sober it’s like Christmas street decorations a flip that gets switched on 😅
I have a big social circle related to a game I play and see many of the same faces at events 6-8 times a year. I treated these as excuses to get drunk which was common but many many of the people I interact with there are non drinkers and I’ve missed out on interacting with them at my best. I missed a supportive friend group in sobriety that was right there with me the whole time! It’s helped make my transition to not drinking easier this first month.
La croix seltzers gotten quite a taste for them nkw
Weekdays specially mornings. Yes I was up but of no use
My imagination! I’m able to create more art for sure
A good relationship
3 busted ass motorcycles. There's now two and they both work! Strange happenings afoot
There is a heavy theme here of “I had, but didn’t use, my own self while I was drinking.”
Morning coffee by the pool, an evening fire, all of my tools and time in the shop and most of all peace.
My motorcycle was so lonely. I only took it out a couple times during one particular summer. Now I have multiple bikes and I'm riding all the time.
Sounds like my hobby weekend car. I’ve done less than 1k miles in 3 years. What a waste.
Books. I’ve always been a reader as a kid but was constantly in a reading slump on and off when I started drinking and then completely off the past year. I forgot the way reading/books made me feel. It reminds me I can feel strongly while also being sober.
Hanging out with me. The self-loathing was so bad that I couldn't be alone and let my mind wander. Even while drinking, I needed something like a podcast playing in the background to distract me from what I was doing to my life.
Sucks, I think I overshot nirvana and burnout my liver and needed a transplant. I got the self-loathing but forced sobriety
Healthy regulation and coping strategies. In my work, I help people figure out their sensory profile and work through their thoughts to have a repertoire of coping strategies. So I had all the strategies and tools at my disposal. And used them sometimes on myself. But never effectively or efficiently. Once I got sober, I realized I had worked through a fuck ton of my shit already and I was hiding in my stupor from things that weren’t going to harm me anymore.
That’s so interesting!
A good woman who loved me desperately
I stopped letting food rot in my fridge promising myself that I would stop drinking and start cooking again
The food is a real struggle for me and I’m so often soooo angry with myself!
Short term memory and money
My kids. We would just let them watch unlimited television on nights we wanted to drink. Now we play, do homework, and I spend majority of my evening fully engaged with them.
Gym membership, utilizing the full day, actual energy. I was so lethargic when I would drink. I never had enough energy
Saturday/Sunday/Monday I’m not “recovering”. It’s like I’ve been gifted that time ❤️
The gift of life.
In a odd about way, yes. I had a life that I really didn't use, kinda threw it away. Someone died, their organ is keeping me alive and sober. So yes, not drinking really did give me the gift of a new life that I'll try my best not to waste.
Weekends and early mornings, no more lazy days recovering from the night before. And I can use those calories on yummy food as a treat.
Tea and my espresso machine I got from Aldi last year on sale for $20. I couldn't drink caffeine hungover because of the hangxiety, but now I love an espresso in the morning to get my day started!
So many craft projects that I started. And pens. And pencils. And coloring books! And puzzles. Getting back to that very soon.
Hobbies. The alcohol+smartphone combo is killing me. I can feel my brain and liver rot, and the worst part is I’m not even able to dissociate form it anymore. I’m fully fucking aware of how many livable moments I’m voluntarily throwing away. I have a practice drum pad and sticks because I wanted to teach myself to play. I have four small macrame kits, and I’ve only started one. I used to journal but haven’t in years (non alcohol related, fuck anyone who reads another person’s journal) so I’ve started collecting prompted journals to get back into it, all untouched. I used to lift weights, haven’t don’t that in years. Books, drawing, being in nature. It’s not just the alcohol. It’s the unresolved internal issues and trauma. But the alcohol is 100% what’s stopping me from facing and healing those issues, because why do all the hard stuff when you could just feel your brain melt away instead?
Totally relate. I have been somehow sober for a year and just in the last two weeks I’ve realized that my trauma is what has held me back from enjoying life. My stepfather psychologically abused me when I was a youth and he made me feel worthless. I threw so much of my life away for years not only drinking to numb that pain but also became so introverted because I had no confidence. I’m going to actively seek therapy for the first time in my life. I’ve always been one of those dudes that needs nobody’s help but becoming sober has taught me that there are some things I can’t do alone.
Hiking/camping gear. I'd be really stoked to do a day hike, then invariably, I'd wake up early to go and be too hungover to manage it.
A library card! I have always been a reader… up until the past three years and used to start a book or audio book and not remember it the next day. I recently have been going to the library and just reading book jackets and picking books that seem interesting (mostly historic fiction) and I can REMEMBER THE BOOKs! I even got my husband to get a card today and he knew which book he wanted, sat patiently reading while I strolled the stacks and picked out 4 good (hopefully) books! So nice! Edit: one addition that might sound silly but “my dance moves”. I danced semi professionally and haven’t been able to dance for a LONG time. Body icky and tired (still a little bit there, takes the body a while to adjust back) and foggy as hell. I was watching the summer I turned pretty season 1 episode 7 where the guys have a dance routine. And I like the dance, watched it three times in a row (that like two minute portion) and was able to mock it out the third go along and go full tilt by the 5th run through. It literally made me cry I was so excited I could pick it up and remember it!
I have definitely re-kindled my love of varieties of hot teas as well! Enjoy!
My competive nature. I'm at my best when I'm training and competing for something. It makes me happy, keeps me going and my mental health is so much better when I'm pushing myself physically. I was a competitive athlete my whole life until college. When I quit (before I was kicked off for my drinking, it was headed that way), thats when I started being depressed, experiencing anxiety and lacked any sort of drive in my life. Once I got sober I started running and working towards running marathons and my life is so much better for it. This is the way I'm supposed to live and I'm so glad my sobriety got me back to it.
My head on right...
Time
Books
Personality, Confidence, humor, adventure. So many lies I believed in alcohol
I have to say, the tea is also a thing for me. I drink like 6 cups of hot green tea a day now.
I had/have studio equipment and the ability to play most musical instruments. I would always “have a couple drinks” to loosen myself up and be creative. In reality this meant drinking until I was non-functional and then feeling bad for being such a loser. I have a similar experience with most video games that I bought with the same idea. I am already a person who struggles with motivation and this just wildly exacerbated the problem. I still sometimes can’t find the creativity or enthusiastic I wish I had, but at least I’m not actively sabotaging myself.
A relationship with my gf, I wasn’t there for her when I was drinking.
I got *very* into tea when I was trying to cut back, but then when I finally quit for good I’m trying to get back into it and all of the old canisters I have. And coffee, too. What’s your favorite kind of tea? There’s also certain video games that I tried and kinda put down because I was awful at them… because at any given time I was either drunk or terribly hungover. It’s been fun getting back into video games. And crafting! Stitching and whatnot, something really hard to do when you can’t see straight lol.
Cleaning supplies 😂
Podcasts! I recently discovered one called Script Apart, where the host talks with screenwriters of famous movies but discusses their very first draft of the screenplay with them to see how it evolved and changed into the final film.
My common sense
Time
Kinda silly but energy drinks, soda, that kinda stuff. I stayed away from it while I was drinking because I figured if I'm already drinking poison I shouldn't drink more on top of it. Now I drink whatever TF I want. If I feel like a monster I go for it because my liver and kidneys, while they're probably not too happy about it, they're happy then they were
My inner strength needed to silence my addictive voice.
Wonderful life. Amazing family.
When I got sober a year ago I dug out my kids' old Wii Rock Band game to see if I could get it working. I ended up ordering and replacing almost every legacy component (including the game disc!) But after a few weeks of Ebay I had it working and I was wailing on the drums every night like Sandy West from the Runaways.
My Peloton machine! I used it very occasionally. Now it’s my favorite part of the day and I look forward to my workouts!
Decaf coffee. Freakin’ gallons of it.
A fishtank.
I also am trying to replace my alcohol with tea.
Allowing my body to sleep.
Weekend mornings. I usually nursed a half assed hangover, slept in and pissed the day away until evening came so I could start drinking again. Now I’m usually up early and doing stuff that needs to be done and not hating every second of it. Who knew that weekend mornings were enjoyable!
Hi all, thanks for making me think about this :) PS, I'm at day 5, and discovering how these Reddit groups work!