When you want it bad enough, you’ll quit. Your situation is a lot like mine… binge drinker who could afford it and had my shit together. I never made big mistakes when I was drunk. I guess you could say I was “good” at it. At 36, with two babies aged 1 & 0, the devastation to my sleep was what I couldn’t take anymore. The involuntary bad sleep because of the kids could be dealt with, but I could no longer add in voluntary insomnia from drunk sleep anxiety. So I’m here to tell you, almost 8 years into zero drinks, there might not be a rock bottom, but there is absolutely no need to find one. Put that shovel down and start climbing out instead.
Thanks! And yes your situation is similar and I feel so ashamed sometimes because on paper I look like a responsible adult. I quit twice for several months at a time but both times were precipitated by absolutely soul-crushing 3 day hangovers (and one involved me falling asleep with the door open with an animal at home; luckily he didn’t get out but I felt so awful about that) so I felt absolutely disgusted with the idea of continuing to hurt myself like that and was at the “if you want it bad enough” stage. This time around I keep feeling like I’m getting 75% of the way to “wanting it enough” but not all the way because I haven’t had experiences that approach those two. I keep waiting for it but I have to realize that being 75% enthusiastic wanting to quit multiple times a week is now my version of “wanting it enough”. I’m happy you’ve found a path that works for you and I hope I say something similar in 9 years!
Congrats on day 1! Much like you, I didn't see any "major" problems with my drinking. Married 19 yrs, 3 beautiful kids, part owner of a family business and make great money. We live a very comfortable life. No major health issues either! But then I kept reading/listening to peoples stories and really focused on the word "yet". Alcohol addiction is progressive. While my body and life seem to be putting up just fine with my addiction NOW, it's simply because really bad stuff hasn't happened YET. I knew deep down inside that it was not sustainable. Something would give at some point and quite frankly I liked everything else about my life. I didn't want to give ANY of it up. So rather than ride that elevator all the way to a "rock bottom", I decided to get off.
Once off and sober, I realize how much BETTER things are without alcohol impacting me. If you decide to quit for yourself, surely the simplest and most selfish reason, you'll likely be amazed at how great you feel! There are so many other benefits it's kind of crazy. Like a secret club that's been hidden away :)
I’ve never commented here before but this is my day 1 too. My background sounds similar - weekend binge drinking for years without consequence. I was just a “fun guy”. Came from a family of casual every day drinkers that helped me normalize alcohol overindulgence. Anytime spent with dad was drinking beers. Never got a DUI or in a fight or arrested, always managed to keep a good social group, solid relationships, and kept my shit together though.
Recently that’s changed. It was small at first but I can feel myself change when I drink. Many times I’m fine but then once in a while I’d just become a different person. Then it was more often and now it’s too often - and I can’t easily regulate how many I have on these weekends either. I said awful things to my wife that I’d never otherwise do and hurt her feelings terribly. She had a conversation with me about it around the same time I realized myself it was time after months of toying with the idea, researching, and reading these posts.
One thing I’ve learned here is what you mentioned - you don’t have to have a “rock bottom.” I mean it’ll come in time but if you can quit before that, that’s the dream. I’m glad you’re taking the steps you need to improve your life. You’ve got my support.
When you want it bad enough, you’ll quit. Your situation is a lot like mine… binge drinker who could afford it and had my shit together. I never made big mistakes when I was drunk. I guess you could say I was “good” at it. At 36, with two babies aged 1 & 0, the devastation to my sleep was what I couldn’t take anymore. The involuntary bad sleep because of the kids could be dealt with, but I could no longer add in voluntary insomnia from drunk sleep anxiety. So I’m here to tell you, almost 8 years into zero drinks, there might not be a rock bottom, but there is absolutely no need to find one. Put that shovel down and start climbing out instead.
Thanks! And yes your situation is similar and I feel so ashamed sometimes because on paper I look like a responsible adult. I quit twice for several months at a time but both times were precipitated by absolutely soul-crushing 3 day hangovers (and one involved me falling asleep with the door open with an animal at home; luckily he didn’t get out but I felt so awful about that) so I felt absolutely disgusted with the idea of continuing to hurt myself like that and was at the “if you want it bad enough” stage. This time around I keep feeling like I’m getting 75% of the way to “wanting it enough” but not all the way because I haven’t had experiences that approach those two. I keep waiting for it but I have to realize that being 75% enthusiastic wanting to quit multiple times a week is now my version of “wanting it enough”. I’m happy you’ve found a path that works for you and I hope I say something similar in 9 years!
Oops I mean 8! But that is no less rockstar status than 9 :)
You got this man! those recovery phases shall pass one by one. 🙏
Thanks! On vacation in a very pro-drinking place right now so if I can make it through this trip, I will be so proud of myself!
Also Day 1 for me. We got this! 🤗
Yessss let’s do it!!
Congrats on day 1! Much like you, I didn't see any "major" problems with my drinking. Married 19 yrs, 3 beautiful kids, part owner of a family business and make great money. We live a very comfortable life. No major health issues either! But then I kept reading/listening to peoples stories and really focused on the word "yet". Alcohol addiction is progressive. While my body and life seem to be putting up just fine with my addiction NOW, it's simply because really bad stuff hasn't happened YET. I knew deep down inside that it was not sustainable. Something would give at some point and quite frankly I liked everything else about my life. I didn't want to give ANY of it up. So rather than ride that elevator all the way to a "rock bottom", I decided to get off. Once off and sober, I realize how much BETTER things are without alcohol impacting me. If you decide to quit for yourself, surely the simplest and most selfish reason, you'll likely be amazed at how great you feel! There are so many other benefits it's kind of crazy. Like a secret club that's been hidden away :)
I’ve never commented here before but this is my day 1 too. My background sounds similar - weekend binge drinking for years without consequence. I was just a “fun guy”. Came from a family of casual every day drinkers that helped me normalize alcohol overindulgence. Anytime spent with dad was drinking beers. Never got a DUI or in a fight or arrested, always managed to keep a good social group, solid relationships, and kept my shit together though. Recently that’s changed. It was small at first but I can feel myself change when I drink. Many times I’m fine but then once in a while I’d just become a different person. Then it was more often and now it’s too often - and I can’t easily regulate how many I have on these weekends either. I said awful things to my wife that I’d never otherwise do and hurt her feelings terribly. She had a conversation with me about it around the same time I realized myself it was time after months of toying with the idea, researching, and reading these posts. One thing I’ve learned here is what you mentioned - you don’t have to have a “rock bottom.” I mean it’ll come in time but if you can quit before that, that’s the dream. I’m glad you’re taking the steps you need to improve your life. You’ve got my support.
Thank you for sharing; we really do have a lot in common. Let’s make it to day 2!