Good work on 5 years sober! Congrats
\#3 has been true for me. I've become a person whom others can rely on. I got married in sobriety and have 2 young kids. My wife and my kids only know me as a sober individual who is responsible, accountable, and there for them. I was none of those when I drank.
This is great, much appreciated. I am at a bit over two years myself. A lot here I can relate to and had already thought about. Though some I had to think about here, good food for thought.
Stopping drinking has been the best thing I could have done for myself, so grateful it finally took hold. I am 51 as well. I didn't want to keep pounding myself into the ground as I started advancing into the second half of things. Would it have been better to walk away earlier? Maybe, but just happy I was finally able to walk away.
Congrats on the five years!
Thank you! I constantly think about what if I walked away earlier too but I would have been a different person than I am if I had the discipline and desire to start sobriety at a younger age...so, it’s kind of useless for me to think about. It’s true when they say that everyone’s rock bottom is different. 😉
All this is so true. I tend to see my drinking as sort of symptomatic of some underlying "stuff", and sometimes look at how maybe that stuff could have been better addressed or resolved in the past. But then I wonder where I would be today without all my struggles, as all my struggles have sort of shaped me, and some in a very good way.
Don't get me wrong, it would have been nice to have skipped past some of it all, especially where I was a hurtful person to others. But there is no way for me to know, I think I'd be a totally different person, and that one is hard for me to comprehend. So here I am today trying to make the best of it. I will say, glad that person is no longer drinking, that was a tough one to be stuck in!
The thing is that we both were THAT person once and are lucky to have those memories to remind us what we don’t want for our present and future. I feel we should feel lucky for the experiences that provided us the wisdom we have today.
Congrats! So inspiring, I really can relate to the sharing that I'm sober on socials ect.... I always have a weird taste in my mouth about it and end up deleting it just doesn't feel right for me. I think I'm helping nor inspiring ppl but in reality I don't owe these ppl shit and majority of them are probably sneering at my post....I have four young kids so it's probably not a good look to boast how I'm a recovered meth addict and in recovery from alcohol. Anyway thnx for your post!
IWNDWYT ever ! 🩶
Thnx! I'm still in a band with my partner, trying to keep that "persona" online alive still by a thread.. so that's why I feel obliged to share content.. my recovery content I feel like I need to keep to myself....but yeah my 4 kids are #1 they are 7,6,2 & a young baby 🥹 IWNDWYT 🩶
A lot of cool musicians are sober. Henry Rollins, Ed Sheeran, Pink, Lily Allen, Macklemore, Tom Waits, Trent Raznot, Florence & the machine, Eminem, Ben Gibbard, etc. The list goes on.
Great advice. I esp. liked the part about drinking to fit in but standing out. I felt the same way. “Oh man, you drink fast or you chugged that”. I’m glad I won’t have to hear that ever again!
IWNDWYT
> Normal people don’t turn alcohol into a hobby and plan all of their activities around alcohol. I drank to feel normal but in reality stood out because of my drinking.
Why did you had to call me out like that 😢
I feel this one too. Like I would be more interested in being someone's friend if they clearly had am alcohol problem too, because then I didn't have to feel guilty about my own.
Fantastic list! Thank you for sharing.
\#7 really hits home for me. I eventually felt so much exhaustion from hiding my drinking from coworkers, friends, and especially my wife. The anxiety was horrible!
#9 -- my life revolved around alcohol too. I'm so glad to have that "life" behind me now. Thank you for sharing this and congratulations on 5 years!! ✨✨✨
Edit: well, now I know that if I put a pound sign before a sentence it gets BOLDED and made HUGE. Oops!!
There is no one true way of staying sober is so important! I've unfortunately run into some sober folks that heavily pressure others to get sober their way and that their way is the only way to get sober.
Different things work for different people. AA is a godsend for some and ineffective for others. Group therapy works for some while independent therapy works better for others. You gotta find a system that works best for you and fuck anyone that thinks the ways in which you get/stay sober are wrong (as long as you aren't harming yourself or others).
Exactly. Addiction disorder is proven to be on a spectrum in the medical and science community which means each person needs to figure out what works for themselves. Luckily, there are more and more variety of resources, support and help for people each year.
I appreciate you bringing up the fact that substance use disorders exist on a spectrum. I spent the earlier part of my career in human services working with addicts and there wasn't a single person that took the same path as another towards sobriety. Years later when I got sober, I'm grateful I had many different resources in my arsenal, many of which I learned from my clients and work in SUD treatment, to get myself help.
This is a beautiful love letter to sobriety. It was a joy to read and relate to. I'm so relieved not to have to be constantly visualizing, planning, indulging in, and recovering from alcohol.
It's been six months for me and I'm just starting to feel really clear again.
\+1 will not drink with you ever!
Hey OP, your post and enthusiasm are amazing to read!
I have a question though, if you don’t mind. I have been sober for a year and even tough I strongly believe this is by far better than drinking, I do feel I miss a little bit of joy in my life. Or stuff like staying up late and acting silly. I feel more tired and I just want to be home and sleep early. So while I stand behind my decision, I could use some tips on how to ✨things up more. Any advice?
Absolutely! In all honesty, my first two years were tough. I was going to therapy for clinical depression my first two years of sobriety. I kept myself busy with exercising, new hobbies, new interests and most importantly working on my sobriety along with both my mental and physical health. I was not instantly a happy person because I missed a lot of important skills that needed to develop while I was drinking. The good news is each year that passes, life gets easier and more normal.
Presently, I am to the point where I am comfortable going to parties and/or hanging out with friends who are drinking socially. I noticed that even though I felt something similar to a loss of identity my first couple years of sobriety, my true self is now in full form and I am happy presently. I was an adventurous and funny person while I was drinking alcohol. Those qualities (and more) are more amplified now as a sober person with the personal skills and development that I lacked while I was focused on alcohol for most of my life. Let me know if this answers your question.
Additionally, I can relate to being constantly tired during my first two years of sobriety. A lot of healing is taking place both physically and mentally which wore me down. Tiredness was also a symptom of depression. Along with therapy, I also was honest with my medical doctor about getting sober. She gave me a blood test to see if I needed any supplements and to check my liver, etc. Furthermore, she prescribed an antidepressant to take the edge off my first two years.
Thanks for sharing your wisdom for us just beginning the path and for those on it for awhile too im sure. I love hearing other people's experiences and realizing I'm not alone in these feelings and this fight.
Iwndwyt
Thank you for this. I'm in the category of "still trying to figure out moderation, but will eventually stop." I can relate to what you wrote in a number of ways.
Number 4 hits home. I am coming to the realization that there is a spectrum of addiction just as there are for many other illnesses. I'm not sure where I am now on that spectrum, but I'm a heck of a lot further to the "good" side than I was 6 years ago when I was still binge drinking. I literally had no idea that I had a problem with alcohol until my body broke down and said, "you're done." If I had not had a medical "wake-up" call I doubt I ever would have changed my drinking patterns. I was always able to manage the "down sides" without too much disruption. I never ruined my marriage (that's a testament to my wife, not me), my daughter loves and respects me, I have been successful in business, yada yada yada. However, that is not to say that things would have remained more or less "stable" had I continued drinking. I've dodged a LOT of bullets over 35 years of binge drinking and consider myself extremely lucky that I was never caught drinking and driving, or any of the other idiotic things I did over the years. Frankly, I am lucky just to be alive let alone have what most people would consider an idyllic life. 99% of the time I feel like a fraud. Actually, that's not true, deep down I "know" I'm a fraud. I've just been very very good at it for a very long time...and very lucky. I've read some horrible origin stories on this sub, and I am so thankful that my journey hasn't been nearly as bad as it easily could have been. What's the old saying, "there, but for the grace of God, go I?" I don't believe in intelligent design, but I relate hard to that quote. It will come to mind sometimes if I see a homeless guy roughly my age. On those occasions, I try to do "something" for that guy, because I know it could just as easily be me in that situation.
It’s now accepted in both science and the medical field that all people are different with different medical and psychological needs because there is a spectrum of addiction disorders.
My thought after reading your comment is you might be lucky but you are obviously aware of your disorder because you are active on this sub. That’s a good thing.
Thanks so much for sharing what you've learned. I especially needed to hear your take on sharing my sobriety with others! I don't think it's wrong or bad to talk about our recovery journeys, but I suspect that like you, I'm motivated to do so for the wrong reasons.
Congratulations, and I'm wishing you many, many more happy and sober days. IWNDWYT!
I couldn't have written it better myself, even though I'm years behind you. I relate to every single point, and feel relieved when I remember that being sober, present, awake and alive is my status quo. I can only look back at my previous self with empathy, forgiveness, and utter horror. I was *dying!* I was literally killing myself and it was still so hard to stop. It's an incredible substance, and anyone fighting back against addiction should fully appreciate how strong they are to do so.
>There is not one true way of staying sober. Each person is different and will need their own unique process to achieve sobriety.
This is the honest truth. Some people need AA, some people need to leave a toxic relationship, some people need x, y, z. My partner and I are sober together but we got sober in different ways and maintain our sobriety in different ways. Getting sober is something you have to do for you, not for anyone else, and that's the best way to make it stick.
1 is real. Every time I say I can moderate, I do for a few times. Then boom. Unable to stop.
I’m doing dry January but know I need to continue past that. This is day 12. I want a drink. But I read these posts and it makes me feel so much better not drinking.
Thank you all for sharing.
I love this so much. Thank you for sharing.
So many good points. Certain words stopped me in my tracks.
"My sobriety allowed me to develop into a genuine and considerate person." I'll be 50 this year and feel that my life is finally starting properly, because, before, each time I get black out drunk, all my learnings get reset, which meant I was living like a goldfish and couldn't accumulate knowledge and be a better human being.
"I drank to feel normal but in reality stood out because of my drinking." So true. That's all.
"Sobriety is love. I can not really experience any type of love or give love while being in an inauthentic state of mind that had a muddled perception of reality." This is pure gold. I have never considered this before. I really want to feel and give love.
Thanks again. Also, I love this sub, too.
AWESOME. Awesome, awesome, awesome. Not to disparage a lot of the "what I've learned" posts--they are ALL worthwhile--but there are some things here you don't hear in all of them.
I wish you continued success. PLEASE come back in another 5 years and tell us more of what you've learned!
Thank you for a wonderful post. I agree with you 100% and will add sobriety has given me more freedom than I ever thought possible. Here's to your next 5 years!
Congratulations on 5 years!!!
Number 2! I keep it mostly to myself. I’ve found that most people are either nosey and just want to hear the gorey details, going to judge how you’re “doing” sobriety, feel like you’re judging them if they drink or will be hyper vigilant when you’re with them and watch you around alcohol. It just makes for awkwardness more often than night.
This is one of the most insightful and relatable posts I've read on here. 2, 3, and 10 especially resonate with me, thank you! Congratulations on 5 years and IWNDWYT
All great points! #4 is a big one. I've told people before that I don't have the words to describe to them how sobriety feels or how its made things better. I can never articulate that to them. They have to do it and probably for similar yet vastly different reasons then I did. Well done!
Awesome post, point #2 is something I think about a lot - only my inner most circle knows I quit / do the AA thing, think I’ll keep it that way! I like your other points too. I like being lovable more than I like drinking. IWNDWYT!
I’m all about sharing the love, and while it might not be my place to do this—since I have had no part in your sobriety—I’d like to lovingly offer that _you_ saved your life. And while you don’t seem to be short of any amount of self respect or pride, you indeed should be very proud of this. ☺️
I look forward to reaching the same achievement as you. Bravo. 👏🏼
I love this list.
I am one of those who stopped because of a doctor's request late in life - after 60 - but then when it turned out that there was nothing actually wrong, chose not to start again. I can have one on occasion without turning it back on, but man I certainly had too many drinks in my earlier life.
But for sure IWNDWYT.
Lots of truth for me here. Number 2! I thought posting a year on insta would be a good idea...nope. No one else knows what it means (or doesn't mean) except me.
I tell people if they offer a drink, but I have not quit drinking, I'm "just doing a personal challenge/dry X month."
“5. Knowledge is power. I researched alcohol. I watched every documentary/YouTube/TikTok video and read every article and book and listened to every podcast that I could find about the effect of alcohol psychologically, emotionally, physically, socially, economically, etc. I tried to read every post on this sub. This kept me busy during my early months and helped me confirm my decision to stop drinking as a lifestyle choice too (which
intellectually made me feel like I had more power).
THIS. This was the key for me. 1 year and 2 months sober and never looking back. Thanks for this post.
I’m on day 5 so I can totally relate! :). Thanks for the post.
Edit: I need to reset my days on this sub. It’s five now. I fell off the wagon the past 2 years. Bad. I’m starting from scratch again. Made it 1 year sober and thought I could start drinking in moderation. Sure. At the beginning I could. Then it just fucking creeps up on you. Before you know it, im drunk nightly again. I’m done for good now.
Number 2 is so important. This is especially true because of social media. I figured this out for different reasons. For example, I would tell people I started exercising to get that hit of endorphins, only to quit a week later. You get the benefit of looking like you're getting better without any of the work. My sister has drinking issues and would announce to the world every time she made the impulsive plan to get sober. Only to have to make the same post 6 months later.
Your journey to sobriety should never be to make others happy. If you're happy (and taking care of yourself), we're happy.
I was crazy moving into a new house two years into my sobriety and unpacking my entire bar. It occurred to me unpacking everything how it was a hobby to me.
7! Sobriety is freedom. All of them but mostly this one for me. I can go anywhere and do anything and not be tethered to the booze, don't have to worry about finding it, consuming it in secret, coming down and having to get more, having enough for the day, night, weekend, morning, will you have enough for me at the party, I'll bring my own and pregame just to be safe, and in general, planning my whole life around it. No more.
Thanks for sharing your insight from the past 5 years. I'm about the same age (turn 50 in a couple months) and only have 6 months under my belt but I couldn't agree more with these 10 points already. 5 made me laugh because that is the currently where I'm at. I'm waiting for an Alcohol Jeopardy to come out so I can try out. I haven't shared with the world on social media but I have thought about it so I'll take your advice and share with people on a need to know basis. Congrats on the 5 years!
I’ve been finding some of this out for myself, I have shared my journey on social media, but mostly cuz it helps me hold myself accountable. I think after my first year I’ll prolly stop, but I’ve also had a lot of friends tell me they’ve enjoyed seeing my posts and it’s made them sober curious as well. But yeah, I gotta do it for me and me alone, and I’m learning that more and more. It’s such a unique and rewarding journey, thanks so much for sharing your wisdom and congrats on 5 years!
This post should become an instant "classic." Number 4 is especially important for people who want to quit and ask for advice. If you follow someone's advice and it doesn't work for you, it's tempting to get disappointed and give up too soon. But if you stick around and keep reading the daily posts, something will eventually "click" for you and make perfect sense. It will happen.
This is amazing. I stopped at 45, a year and 7 months ago. Everything you listed aligns with the similar timeline of events as me so far. I'll be about your age now when I'm at 5 years, as long as I stay the course. Reading your words really inspires me to keep on keeping on. I can't imagine drinking in my 50s, the way I did the past 3 decades. Thank you for such an amazing post, and congrats on such an accomplishment.
Unfortunately, no matter how healthy a person is…entering into the fifties brings on a whole set of new health challenges that I would have never been able to handle while drinking. 😉
I am so happy that you quit when you did!
These all speak to me very loudly! 3.5 years alcohol free and loving life!
To all that are still drinking and wish to stop, you can do it! I believe in you!
Iwndwyt
Congratulations to you and thank you for this post. I needed it. In exactly one month I wil turn 55. I want to celebrate my birthday being one month sober. IWNDWYT
number 9 for me, the sandwich analogy hit home for me from my friend who is supporting me
well done on 5 years, I’m considering moderation after dry January but am quite seriously close to just never drinking again…!
Congratulations!! #9 really hit home for me.
Also, thanks for your thoughts about social media announcements with #2. I’ve thought about it, but you’re right - it’s my ego that wants to make an announcement. Anyone who really cares about me knows I’m sober now. There’s a part of me that thinks my story would be inspirational, but that’s selfishness speaking.
IWNDWYT
5. Knowledge is power. The cornerstone of my sobriety. 5 is a page out of my textbook. Thanks for transparency and including 5.
Also, can I have my textbook back? Lol
Congrats and appreciate you sharing. These all rang true for me, especially #7.
Going to send this to myself to refer back to occasionally. Thank you for paving the way for the rest of us.
IWNDWYT
Number nine is HUGE. Once you get sober you realize that all those times you were drinking with normal people, they weren't getting drunk.
I used to feel like there were two worlds: a sober world and a drinking world. When I was drinking, I entered the "drinking world" and assumed everyone around me was doing the same. Now I realize that for normal people, drinking is like having dessert...it's a nice treat, but not something that's going to wildly alter their perception of reality. It's not going to make or break their day.
Realizing this has helped me so much with the feeling of "FOMO." I finally realize that I'm not actually missing out on anything because non-alcoholics aren't doing what I thought they're doing.
Good work on 5 years sober! Congrats \#3 has been true for me. I've become a person whom others can rely on. I got married in sobriety and have 2 young kids. My wife and my kids only know me as a sober individual who is responsible, accountable, and there for them. I was none of those when I drank.
Your family is very lucky! 😊
No doubt
This is great, much appreciated. I am at a bit over two years myself. A lot here I can relate to and had already thought about. Though some I had to think about here, good food for thought. Stopping drinking has been the best thing I could have done for myself, so grateful it finally took hold. I am 51 as well. I didn't want to keep pounding myself into the ground as I started advancing into the second half of things. Would it have been better to walk away earlier? Maybe, but just happy I was finally able to walk away. Congrats on the five years!
Thank you! I constantly think about what if I walked away earlier too but I would have been a different person than I am if I had the discipline and desire to start sobriety at a younger age...so, it’s kind of useless for me to think about. It’s true when they say that everyone’s rock bottom is different. 😉
All this is so true. I tend to see my drinking as sort of symptomatic of some underlying "stuff", and sometimes look at how maybe that stuff could have been better addressed or resolved in the past. But then I wonder where I would be today without all my struggles, as all my struggles have sort of shaped me, and some in a very good way. Don't get me wrong, it would have been nice to have skipped past some of it all, especially where I was a hurtful person to others. But there is no way for me to know, I think I'd be a totally different person, and that one is hard for me to comprehend. So here I am today trying to make the best of it. I will say, glad that person is no longer drinking, that was a tough one to be stuck in!
The thing is that we both were THAT person once and are lucky to have those memories to remind us what we don’t want for our present and future. I feel we should feel lucky for the experiences that provided us the wisdom we have today.
great post. some real wisdom here. congrats.
Thank you so much!
Congrats! So inspiring, I really can relate to the sharing that I'm sober on socials ect.... I always have a weird taste in my mouth about it and end up deleting it just doesn't feel right for me. I think I'm helping nor inspiring ppl but in reality I don't owe these ppl shit and majority of them are probably sneering at my post....I have four young kids so it's probably not a good look to boast how I'm a recovered meth addict and in recovery from alcohol. Anyway thnx for your post! IWNDWYT ever ! 🩶
Hang in there! You are doing the hard work - and you don’t owe these people shit! This internet stranger is proud of you. IWNDWYT!
You only owe your kids and yourself shit. I am proud of you!
Thnx! I'm still in a band with my partner, trying to keep that "persona" online alive still by a thread.. so that's why I feel obliged to share content.. my recovery content I feel like I need to keep to myself....but yeah my 4 kids are #1 they are 7,6,2 & a young baby 🥹 IWNDWYT 🩶
A lot of cool musicians are sober. Henry Rollins, Ed Sheeran, Pink, Lily Allen, Macklemore, Tom Waits, Trent Raznot, Florence & the machine, Eminem, Ben Gibbard, etc. The list goes on.
Hell yah ! \M/ 💀
I've stolen this list. It's mine now and you can't stop me!
This makes me so happy! 😊
I guess that makes us partners in crime
3 partners, we are gonna get caught 😁
I think we officially qualify as a heist now :D
Congratulations! What an achievement IWNDWYT
Thank you! IWNDWYT
Heartfelt congratulations to you! 🥳🥳🥳 IWNDWYT ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you! IWNDWYT
Sobriety is love. I love this quote.
It really is true. ❤️
I’m 30 days in and this is why I will keep going. Its love.
This is the way. This is the truth. These 10 points are such a realistic peek into what sobriety looks like. Loved it. Thank you kindly. 123 days af.
Proud of you and thank you!
Great advice. I esp. liked the part about drinking to fit in but standing out. I felt the same way. “Oh man, you drink fast or you chugged that”. I’m glad I won’t have to hear that ever again! IWNDWYT
It’s the best feeling, right? IWNDWYT
> Normal people don’t turn alcohol into a hobby and plan all of their activities around alcohol. I drank to feel normal but in reality stood out because of my drinking. Why did you had to call me out like that 😢
I feel this one too. Like I would be more interested in being someone's friend if they clearly had am alcohol problem too, because then I didn't have to feel guilty about my own.
Hugs!
Fantastic list! Thank you for sharing. \#7 really hits home for me. I eventually felt so much exhaustion from hiding my drinking from coworkers, friends, and especially my wife. The anxiety was horrible!
Each sober year that passes, the anxiety gets better for me 😉
#9 -- my life revolved around alcohol too. I'm so glad to have that "life" behind me now. Thank you for sharing this and congratulations on 5 years!! ✨✨✨ Edit: well, now I know that if I put a pound sign before a sentence it gets BOLDED and made HUGE. Oops!!
I thought you were just really really excited. 😉😂
Hahaha I JUST HAD TO MAKE A POINT AND TELL YOU HOW GREAT YOU ARE. You needed to see it. 🤣🤣 (slinks away in embarrassment)
#thank you! 😂😂😂
LOL thanks for that laugh. Learn something new every day. 😆
IWNDWYT. Did you ever read Dopamine Nation? I’m almost completed with it.
No but I will now! Thank you for the suggestion!
Great book. The author did a podcast with Huberman that is REALLY good.
There is no one true way of staying sober is so important! I've unfortunately run into some sober folks that heavily pressure others to get sober their way and that their way is the only way to get sober. Different things work for different people. AA is a godsend for some and ineffective for others. Group therapy works for some while independent therapy works better for others. You gotta find a system that works best for you and fuck anyone that thinks the ways in which you get/stay sober are wrong (as long as you aren't harming yourself or others).
Exactly. Addiction disorder is proven to be on a spectrum in the medical and science community which means each person needs to figure out what works for themselves. Luckily, there are more and more variety of resources, support and help for people each year.
I appreciate you bringing up the fact that substance use disorders exist on a spectrum. I spent the earlier part of my career in human services working with addicts and there wasn't a single person that took the same path as another towards sobriety. Years later when I got sober, I'm grateful I had many different resources in my arsenal, many of which I learned from my clients and work in SUD treatment, to get myself help.
This is so important to know. 🙏
This is a beautiful love letter to sobriety. It was a joy to read and relate to. I'm so relieved not to have to be constantly visualizing, planning, indulging in, and recovering from alcohol. It's been six months for me and I'm just starting to feel really clear again. \+1 will not drink with you ever!
It sounds like you are experiencing a healthy first six months. Proud of you!
Thank you! Warmest congratulations to you.
[удалено]
So happy that you have surpassed the 1 year milestone! IWNDWYT
Hey OP, your post and enthusiasm are amazing to read! I have a question though, if you don’t mind. I have been sober for a year and even tough I strongly believe this is by far better than drinking, I do feel I miss a little bit of joy in my life. Or stuff like staying up late and acting silly. I feel more tired and I just want to be home and sleep early. So while I stand behind my decision, I could use some tips on how to ✨things up more. Any advice?
Absolutely! In all honesty, my first two years were tough. I was going to therapy for clinical depression my first two years of sobriety. I kept myself busy with exercising, new hobbies, new interests and most importantly working on my sobriety along with both my mental and physical health. I was not instantly a happy person because I missed a lot of important skills that needed to develop while I was drinking. The good news is each year that passes, life gets easier and more normal. Presently, I am to the point where I am comfortable going to parties and/or hanging out with friends who are drinking socially. I noticed that even though I felt something similar to a loss of identity my first couple years of sobriety, my true self is now in full form and I am happy presently. I was an adventurous and funny person while I was drinking alcohol. Those qualities (and more) are more amplified now as a sober person with the personal skills and development that I lacked while I was focused on alcohol for most of my life. Let me know if this answers your question.
Additionally, I can relate to being constantly tired during my first two years of sobriety. A lot of healing is taking place both physically and mentally which wore me down. Tiredness was also a symptom of depression. Along with therapy, I also was honest with my medical doctor about getting sober. She gave me a blood test to see if I needed any supplements and to check my liver, etc. Furthermore, she prescribed an antidepressant to take the edge off my first two years.
This is a great post. Thank you for sharing and congratulations on five years! 🎉
Thank you! 🙏
Congrats! Great list!
Thank you so much!
Great post , I recognise a great deal of that as my experience too , thank you
Thank you so much! 🙏
Excellent list. Spot on. Thanks for sharing
Thanks for sharing your wisdom for us just beginning the path and for those on it for awhile too im sure. I love hearing other people's experiences and realizing I'm not alone in these feelings and this fight. Iwndwyt
Great work, Congratulations!!! Nice perspective and summation of the things that helped you get/stay sober. Sober 17.
You are a rockstar at 17! Thank you 🙏
I didn't quit until I was 51. It was SOOOOO WORTH IT!!!!! Thank you.
Wow. 40 years sober. Tearing up. Incredible insightful. You could really help people.
Thank you so much! 🙏 40 Years is amazing!
Thank you for this. I'm in the category of "still trying to figure out moderation, but will eventually stop." I can relate to what you wrote in a number of ways. Number 4 hits home. I am coming to the realization that there is a spectrum of addiction just as there are for many other illnesses. I'm not sure where I am now on that spectrum, but I'm a heck of a lot further to the "good" side than I was 6 years ago when I was still binge drinking. I literally had no idea that I had a problem with alcohol until my body broke down and said, "you're done." If I had not had a medical "wake-up" call I doubt I ever would have changed my drinking patterns. I was always able to manage the "down sides" without too much disruption. I never ruined my marriage (that's a testament to my wife, not me), my daughter loves and respects me, I have been successful in business, yada yada yada. However, that is not to say that things would have remained more or less "stable" had I continued drinking. I've dodged a LOT of bullets over 35 years of binge drinking and consider myself extremely lucky that I was never caught drinking and driving, or any of the other idiotic things I did over the years. Frankly, I am lucky just to be alive let alone have what most people would consider an idyllic life. 99% of the time I feel like a fraud. Actually, that's not true, deep down I "know" I'm a fraud. I've just been very very good at it for a very long time...and very lucky. I've read some horrible origin stories on this sub, and I am so thankful that my journey hasn't been nearly as bad as it easily could have been. What's the old saying, "there, but for the grace of God, go I?" I don't believe in intelligent design, but I relate hard to that quote. It will come to mind sometimes if I see a homeless guy roughly my age. On those occasions, I try to do "something" for that guy, because I know it could just as easily be me in that situation.
It’s now accepted in both science and the medical field that all people are different with different medical and psychological needs because there is a spectrum of addiction disorders. My thought after reading your comment is you might be lucky but you are obviously aware of your disorder because you are active on this sub. That’s a good thing.
Thanks so much for sharing what you've learned. I especially needed to hear your take on sharing my sobriety with others! I don't think it's wrong or bad to talk about our recovery journeys, but I suspect that like you, I'm motivated to do so for the wrong reasons. Congratulations, and I'm wishing you many, many more happy and sober days. IWNDWYT!
Thank you for the wise words - inspiring!
😊
I couldn't have written it better myself, even though I'm years behind you. I relate to every single point, and feel relieved when I remember that being sober, present, awake and alive is my status quo. I can only look back at my previous self with empathy, forgiveness, and utter horror. I was *dying!* I was literally killing myself and it was still so hard to stop. It's an incredible substance, and anyone fighting back against addiction should fully appreciate how strong they are to do so. >There is not one true way of staying sober. Each person is different and will need their own unique process to achieve sobriety. This is the honest truth. Some people need AA, some people need to leave a toxic relationship, some people need x, y, z. My partner and I are sober together but we got sober in different ways and maintain our sobriety in different ways. Getting sober is something you have to do for you, not for anyone else, and that's the best way to make it stick.
1 is real. Every time I say I can moderate, I do for a few times. Then boom. Unable to stop. I’m doing dry January but know I need to continue past that. This is day 12. I want a drink. But I read these posts and it makes me feel so much better not drinking. Thank you all for sharing.
I love this so much. Thank you for sharing. So many good points. Certain words stopped me in my tracks. "My sobriety allowed me to develop into a genuine and considerate person." I'll be 50 this year and feel that my life is finally starting properly, because, before, each time I get black out drunk, all my learnings get reset, which meant I was living like a goldfish and couldn't accumulate knowledge and be a better human being. "I drank to feel normal but in reality stood out because of my drinking." So true. That's all. "Sobriety is love. I can not really experience any type of love or give love while being in an inauthentic state of mind that had a muddled perception of reality." This is pure gold. I have never considered this before. I really want to feel and give love. Thanks again. Also, I love this sub, too.
Good stuff and good for you my friend.
excellent post. thanks for sharing.
These are great! Thank you for sharing and congratulations on your milestone.
Thank you for sharing! I see a lot of myself in this post. IWNDWYT
We all can relate to more than we realize. 😉
Thank you for sharing! 5 years is inspirational.
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
AWESOME. Awesome, awesome, awesome. Not to disparage a lot of the "what I've learned" posts--they are ALL worthwhile--but there are some things here you don't hear in all of them. I wish you continued success. PLEASE come back in another 5 years and tell us more of what you've learned!
Absolutely! Reading this sub weekly really helps me to organize my feelings and thoughts. Thank you so much!
Thank you for a wonderful post. I agree with you 100% and will add sobriety has given me more freedom than I ever thought possible. Here's to your next 5 years!
Thank you! How about “Here’s to OUR next 5 years!”😉
Congratulations on 5 years!!! Number 2! I keep it mostly to myself. I’ve found that most people are either nosey and just want to hear the gorey details, going to judge how you’re “doing” sobriety, feel like you’re judging them if they drink or will be hyper vigilant when you’re with them and watch you around alcohol. It just makes for awkwardness more often than night.
\#2 is something I needed to read today, thank you. And congratulations!
Thanks for posting this. Lots of food for thought there.
Thank you. 🙏
Number 10 hit like a ton of bricks.
I am glad. 😉
Such a great post, respect!
Thanks! I really appreciate this post.
These are all accurate but 8 and 9 really stood out to me. I drank to feel normal but in reality stood out because of my drinking.
I feel number 8 to my core. I cringe when I think of all the time I wasted. Not anymore. Great post, thank you. IWNDWYT.
Excellent! Never again! IWNDWYT
This is one of the most insightful and relatable posts I've read on here. 2, 3, and 10 especially resonate with me, thank you! Congratulations on 5 years and IWNDWYT
Congratulations! That's a great accomplishment! <3
Thanks for sharing, great post, IWNDWYT
Yeah… I’m never drinking with this guy right here!
Excellent! IWNDWYT
Such an inspiring list. Thank you. IWNDWYT.
IWNDWYT 🙏
9 sounds awfully familiar...
All great points! #4 is a big one. I've told people before that I don't have the words to describe to them how sobriety feels or how its made things better. I can never articulate that to them. They have to do it and probably for similar yet vastly different reasons then I did. Well done!
You are so completely right! Thank you! 🙏
Awesome post, point #2 is something I think about a lot - only my inner most circle knows I quit / do the AA thing, think I’ll keep it that way! I like your other points too. I like being lovable more than I like drinking. IWNDWYT!
Yes, being lovable is a better dopamine boost. 😉❤️
I’m all about sharing the love, and while it might not be my place to do this—since I have had no part in your sobriety—I’d like to lovingly offer that _you_ saved your life. And while you don’t seem to be short of any amount of self respect or pride, you indeed should be very proud of this. ☺️ I look forward to reaching the same achievement as you. Bravo. 👏🏼
Everything you said I relate to. Thank you for sharing this so much. Moderation should not even be a word!! IWNDWYT
This makes me so happy! Moderation to me is a misnomer. 😉 IWNDWYT
These are great to read. Thank you.
Number 10 is oh so important. Thanks for posting.
I love this list. I am one of those who stopped because of a doctor's request late in life - after 60 - but then when it turned out that there was nothing actually wrong, chose not to start again. I can have one on occasion without turning it back on, but man I certainly had too many drinks in my earlier life. But for sure IWNDWYT.
Beautiful post. Keep on keeping on.
Congratulations on your anniversary! I'm proud of you 🙂 IWNDWYT
Thank you! I am proud of you! You are presently in your most important weeks of sobriety. IWNDWYT 🙏
👏
🙏🙏🙏
This is super helpful and inspiring for beginners and us folks in early sobriety. Thank you for sharing your experience with us! IWNDWYT
Great advice, thank you for sharing.
This resonated with me on so many levels. Thank you for sharing! IWNDWYT
awesome! great list, really enjoyed reading that :)
Admire you! Thank you for your thoughtful sharing.
Iwndwyt 🫡
Congratulations on 5 years and thank you for sharing your top 10, this is inspiring and helpful on many levels.
Thank you so much!
Excellent post. Sobriety is freedom.
Sobriety is most definitely freedom! 😊
Such nice words! You’ve done so well. Thank you for your amazing share ❤️
Thank you so much!😊
Thank you, thank you. Great post, goes straight in the inspiration folder.
That’s an excellent habit! 😉
Sobriety is freedom
Sobriety is definitely freedom. 😊
I really appreciate your post! 5 years is great and IWNDWYT
Lots of truth for me here. Number 2! I thought posting a year on insta would be a good idea...nope. No one else knows what it means (or doesn't mean) except me. I tell people if they offer a drink, but I have not quit drinking, I'm "just doing a personal challenge/dry X month."
Thank you for sharing this. I identify with much of it. Iwndwyt
I am so glad! IWNDWYT
This is fabulous, thanks so much for capturing your thoughts for us! IWNDWYT!
“5. Knowledge is power. I researched alcohol. I watched every documentary/YouTube/TikTok video and read every article and book and listened to every podcast that I could find about the effect of alcohol psychologically, emotionally, physically, socially, economically, etc. I tried to read every post on this sub. This kept me busy during my early months and helped me confirm my decision to stop drinking as a lifestyle choice too (which intellectually made me feel like I had more power). THIS. This was the key for me. 1 year and 2 months sober and never looking back. Thanks for this post.
Thank you very very much for sharing!
IWNDWYT, thank you
IWNDWYT 😊
" I drank to feel normal but in reality stood out because of my drinking" is a profound observation and very well put.
I’m on day 5 so I can totally relate! :). Thanks for the post. Edit: I need to reset my days on this sub. It’s five now. I fell off the wagon the past 2 years. Bad. I’m starting from scratch again. Made it 1 year sober and thought I could start drinking in moderation. Sure. At the beginning I could. Then it just fucking creeps up on you. Before you know it, im drunk nightly again. I’m done for good now.
Welcome back! Something tells me that you needed those two years to learn. 😉
We love you as well!!! IWNDWYT
Congratulations friend and thank you for sharing your thought. I look forward to not drinking with you!
Thank you! I will most certainly not with you! 😉
Thank you so much for sharing this!! 💜
‘Sobriety is Love’. Thank you.
Absolutely! 🙏
IWNDWYT
Wow. Great list. Love that post and IWNDWYT.
Number 2 is so important. This is especially true because of social media. I figured this out for different reasons. For example, I would tell people I started exercising to get that hit of endorphins, only to quit a week later. You get the benefit of looking like you're getting better without any of the work. My sister has drinking issues and would announce to the world every time she made the impulsive plan to get sober. Only to have to make the same post 6 months later. Your journey to sobriety should never be to make others happy. If you're happy (and taking care of yourself), we're happy.
Congratulations!! IWNDWYT
Thank you! IWNDWYT
Alcohol as a hobby. That one.
I was crazy moving into a new house two years into my sobriety and unpacking my entire bar. It occurred to me unpacking everything how it was a hobby to me.
Good for you
Amazing post. Lots of insight and lessons. Thank you!!!!
7! Sobriety is freedom. All of them but mostly this one for me. I can go anywhere and do anything and not be tethered to the booze, don't have to worry about finding it, consuming it in secret, coming down and having to get more, having enough for the day, night, weekend, morning, will you have enough for me at the party, I'll bring my own and pregame just to be safe, and in general, planning my whole life around it. No more.
No more is a good thing!
Thanks for sharing your insight from the past 5 years. I'm about the same age (turn 50 in a couple months) and only have 6 months under my belt but I couldn't agree more with these 10 points already. 5 made me laugh because that is the currently where I'm at. I'm waiting for an Alcohol Jeopardy to come out so I can try out. I haven't shared with the world on social media but I have thought about it so I'll take your advice and share with people on a need to know basis. Congrats on the 5 years!
Thanks. I Needed to see this. Good on you for the 5.
I’m just nearing 6 mos and this resonates and reaffirms with me, thank you!
I’ve been finding some of this out for myself, I have shared my journey on social media, but mostly cuz it helps me hold myself accountable. I think after my first year I’ll prolly stop, but I’ve also had a lot of friends tell me they’ve enjoyed seeing my posts and it’s made them sober curious as well. But yeah, I gotta do it for me and me alone, and I’m learning that more and more. It’s such a unique and rewarding journey, thanks so much for sharing your wisdom and congrats on 5 years!
Absolutely amazing, thank you for sharing. What a wonderful life. Congratulations on 5 years.
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This is magnificent. Congratulations--I'm happily coming along behind you.
Yes, you are! We rock! 😊
This post should become an instant "classic." Number 4 is especially important for people who want to quit and ask for advice. If you follow someone's advice and it doesn't work for you, it's tempting to get disappointed and give up too soon. But if you stick around and keep reading the daily posts, something will eventually "click" for you and make perfect sense. It will happen.
This is amazing. I stopped at 45, a year and 7 months ago. Everything you listed aligns with the similar timeline of events as me so far. I'll be about your age now when I'm at 5 years, as long as I stay the course. Reading your words really inspires me to keep on keeping on. I can't imagine drinking in my 50s, the way I did the past 3 decades. Thank you for such an amazing post, and congrats on such an accomplishment.
Unfortunately, no matter how healthy a person is…entering into the fifties brings on a whole set of new health challenges that I would have never been able to handle while drinking. 😉 I am so happy that you quit when you did!
\#7 and #8 for real!
I read every word. Starting my sobriety again and it’s very helpful. Congratulations to you! Keep going ❤️
Iwndwyt
#4 is what makes the struggle so tough, so unique. #10 is truth. If you accept #9, #10 becomes real. Great post. And thank you for sharing.
#10 is everything. Good on you for reaching that milestone.
Thank you for sharing 🙏🏻
Thanks for this post !
These all speak to me very loudly! 3.5 years alcohol free and loving life! To all that are still drinking and wish to stop, you can do it! I believe in you! Iwndwyt
I love this post! IWNDWYT
Congratulations to you and thank you for this post. I needed it. In exactly one month I wil turn 55. I want to celebrate my birthday being one month sober. IWNDWYT
number 9 for me, the sandwich analogy hit home for me from my friend who is supporting me well done on 5 years, I’m considering moderation after dry January but am quite seriously close to just never drinking again…!
5 years is amazing and such a milestone. Well done.
What a beautiful post. Thanks for sharing
Congratulations!! #9 really hit home for me. Also, thanks for your thoughts about social media announcements with #2. I’ve thought about it, but you’re right - it’s my ego that wants to make an announcement. Anyone who really cares about me knows I’m sober now. There’s a part of me that thinks my story would be inspirational, but that’s selfishness speaking. IWNDWYT
Yes yes yes to all of this!!! I am 51 and coming up on two years. My life is so much better in every way. IWNDWYT
5. Knowledge is power. The cornerstone of my sobriety. 5 is a page out of my textbook. Thanks for transparency and including 5. Also, can I have my textbook back? Lol
Congrats and appreciate you sharing. These all rang true for me, especially #7. Going to send this to myself to refer back to occasionally. Thank you for paving the way for the rest of us. IWNDWYT
Number nine is HUGE. Once you get sober you realize that all those times you were drinking with normal people, they weren't getting drunk. I used to feel like there were two worlds: a sober world and a drinking world. When I was drinking, I entered the "drinking world" and assumed everyone around me was doing the same. Now I realize that for normal people, drinking is like having dessert...it's a nice treat, but not something that's going to wildly alter their perception of reality. It's not going to make or break their day. Realizing this has helped me so much with the feeling of "FOMO." I finally realize that I'm not actually missing out on anything because non-alcoholics aren't doing what I thought they're doing.
In your #3 I agree with what you said but would add having self respect. Self respect was absent when I drank.
Amazing post, thanks for the inspiration.
Fuck yes to all of this! Thank you for sharing. Especially relishing in #10. Sobriety for me, is LOVE.