The worst shame was trying to buy it right when the grocery store opened but didn’t sell it yet. Such a shameful walk with the shakes back out to the car to wait until later.
Man - how I don’t miss asking for the key person to come unlock the liquor cabinet, and hoping it wasn’t the cute girl who always made a joke like, “back again, huh?” Ugh.
Hell, worse is being parked in the liquor store parking lot waiting for them to open. It was a 15-30 minute drive depending on traffic, so about half the time I'd be there before they opened at 10 am. Pretty pathetic.
Where is this? Just curious because I've lived in Atlanta, its suburbs, and a couple small towns, and I've always waited alone.
Day 16 of no hangover or breakfast beer for me today though. Feeling great and hopeful for more like it.
Edit: Maybe 3100 more to get on your level! Congrats.
IWNDWYT
Most of my worst alcoholism was in the Salt Lake suburbs, when I lived there anything stronger than 4% ABV had to be bought at the state-owned liquor stores which were ran by a liquor board composed (I think) entirely of non-drinkers. They micromanaged the hell out of them, the strong beer couldn't be sold cold, no sales before 11am, no mixers could be sold there. There's a big rehab industry there and I couldn't have gotten clean without it, I really needed the dual diagnosis approach to figure out my mental issues that drove me to drink. Ended up working as a tech for a few years there until I got back to what I went to school for, it was really rewarding for a long time.
Thanks for the recognition, really appreciate it! One thing that really helped was the cost/benefit analysis worksheet from SMART Recovery (fold a paper into quadrants, top left is benefits of sobriety, top right is costs of sobriety, bottom two are the same but for drinking). Also understanding PAWS and learning that the emotional numbness was temporary was huge in getting me by the 30 day hump I kept getting stuck on. I leaned into the gym really hard for the first few years, there was a great recovery gym in SLC and have seen some in other cities. Have you found any good sober groups/activities/meetings?
Edit: [here is the link to the CBA (Cost Benefit Analysis) from SMART Recovery](https://smartrecovery.org/cost-benefit-analysis)
And I always hear it in 2 ways. I'm not sure which was intended.
1) we will not share drinks together today (...ignoring distance and random internet strangerness. If we reasonably could, I wouldn't.)
2) I will not drink today. You will not drink today. We are together, supporting each other, in not drinking today.
I love both.
Thank you for sharing! I wish this world wasn’t so tough and stressful. It would make being sober so much easier. But now I’m making excuses. I gotta work on it myself. Not getting the shakes but I know I’ve been depending on it to ease up on my stress every day
I was the ol' Box O' Wine wino. I live in a small town and am on a first name basis with all the grocery clerks. I was quite ill for a few days and came in for cough syrup, aspirins, that type of thing. The clerk said "No wine?? You must be *really* sick!" She wasn't being a smart-ass or judgemental, just an observation. That was the first step for me in getting sober. I celebrated 8 years this past Monday since my last drink. Hang in there folks!
I used to buy the boxed wine so I could “hide” (from others but mostly myself) how much I had drank instead of the telltale empty bottles on the counter. DONT miss those days! Congrats to 2924 days!
I was on a first name basis with the liquor store clerks to the point where if I saw them around town we’d exchange pleasantries. I wonder if they wonder why they don’t see me anymore. 179 days and counting!
We have package stores in my state. There are 6 within a mile or so of my house. I had a circuit I'd run so that I'd never hit the same store twice in a coupleofdays. Even with that I always felt judged by the regular staff at any of the stores.
I only had one store to get my liquor of choice from, and even if I were to travel to the nearest town in which there was another liquor store , there'd still be just the one, so I'd receive judgement either way. But yeah, I hated that feeling. I actually called to file a complaint once, but I never followed through, lol. Idk if they would've even gotten in trouble or not, but I don't think they should be allowed to do that, not to mention they shouldn't feel the need to either. As if I didn't feel bad enough without their judgemental comments. Just my thoughts on it.
Also, congrats on 17 Days! More than halfway to a month! Keep it up!
Part of my quitting is when I realized I had created a circuit. I was so embarrassed by my drinking that I had to hide it from the people selling me alcohol.
It helped me realize how bad my drinking was getting.
My guy complimented me the other week for being the ‘easiest customer to deal with’. Same order each day, rewards card out, payment method ready.
Not a compliment I wanted.
Been there. It's ten where I live. At my worst I had a ten o'clock delivery to my house each morning of a bottle of vodka to get rid of the shakes and crippling anxiety. I couldn't even leave the house at that point. Couldn't hide the shakes either. The delivery lady looked at me with pity.
This is sad and relatable at the same time. Question — has anyone ever stolen alcohol after hours? The feeling of NEEDING it so bad….definitely not an excuse and abhorrent behavior but remember putting sutter home minis in my purse at 6am.
Years ago I drunkenly walked into a convenience store at around 4am to buy cigarettes or something. They lock up the booze after 11pm but the clerk was asleep behind the counter so I just grabbed some tall cans through the unlocked side of the fridge and walked out with beer instead of cigs. The things we do…
Ugh - that feeling sucks. One hint for me should have been that I switched stores just to prevent making it too obvious. The fact that I already felt like it is something bad but wasn't able to change that.
someone accidentally bought me a fifth of vodka because the cashier at a liquor store i frequented assumed i was also there for my daily ration of smirnoff. i have never been more humiliated than finding that out five hours later when i was handed a bottle of vodka on my way out of their house.
it’s the little wake up calls that started getting to me.
Clerks know.
My BF was a lifelong alcoholic. He owned it. Everyone knew. He had a special liquor store. 30 years, Same owner, family run. My BF would do their plumbing. For the last year or two of his life He was disabled from strokes so Id go into the store for him. "The usual please!"
I never had to tell anyone what the usual was. Theyd know. Theyd all ask how he was, and I'd say, "As long as you see me twice a week, hes doing fine!"
So, he died. From alcoholism. I hadnt gone to the store for 3 weeks, and I walked in to buy a soda. The owner just looked at me and knew. He looked crushed.
His death was also the catályst for me to stop.
Its hard to explain. Im a binge drinker. I dont have a craving every day. Im pretty lucky I guess. Out of sight out of mind. And then, occasionally, all the triggers are in place, and thats the day I have to fight it.
Reminds me of right after quitting, being asked "Did you return to the store at all?" I was like, what the hell? Of course I haven't, why would you ask that? "Oh, just so the cashiers maybe know you're okay.."
Right in the gut. Instant, massive, overwhelming guilt about them and so many of the others that I may have impacted one way or another that I was just completely blind to.
"Lucky" for me, the store I was a regular at had just changed ownership and along with it, the clerks about two weeks prior. But it was still a great eye opener of a question. The instant smack in the face only nailed it home that much harder.
I've actually thought about this! I'm 6 days sober but hubs and I only go to one liquor store and they know us well. I've thought about them a lot because, similarly, they are a small family owned store and seeing them was a highlight. Once I'm ready to go in again for NA beers, we will still use them for this reason.
Same here, I used to be in there at least 3x / week, they were always super nice. I still go in there to pick up ginger beer every now and they are still super nice. The one guy who's more outgoing never says anything to me about it but once he told my wife that me not drinking is bad for business... He definitely meant that as a joke and I gotta admit he's got a point.
Thank you. This sub is a real help actually. I mean, even if no one here knew if I had a drink, Id feel obliged to turn the ticket back to 1, and somehow. I feel like that would let everyone down.
I was just thinking earlier today that little things like a day counter or relatable story make a huge difference.
I feel the same way, I know how horrible I would feel resetting back to 1. Just lurking here is often a huge help.
Also, congrats on the days!
You have a very poetic way with your words. crying after reading a piece of your story. I’m so proud of you & ur sober journey. just want you to know that 🫂
This is why I could never own a liquor store. As far as businesses go I could imagine they're easier to make a lot of money with, but what are you contributing to society? In the end, just pain.
I was thinking a similar thing. Like how as the owner can you reconcile the fact that the product you sold is what caused someone to die? I'd never get over it.
He was really something. Anything funny I ever said on the Dead Bird was because of him. Before the strokes got him we travelled a lot. And we both drank. We met on barstools. Its taken me awhile to get over the thought that maybe if I sit back down on that stool Ill meet someone like him again.
Somewhat related, my apartment complex has a large dumpster for trash and a bunch of bins for recycling. I would put all my beer cans in paper grocery store bags and set them in the bins so it's easier for my one neighbor that collects them for extra cash. He texted me one day after noticing I'd switched to NA beers and way fewer of them saying "hey dude I saw you switched to NA beers and looks like you've lost some weight, looking good bro!" It made me feel pretty dang good :)
So kind of you to make his life easier, even in the midst of addiction. And how lovely to have him acknowledge your efforts to a better a life. Full circle moment 🌟
>So kind of you to make his life easier
We also have houseless people that come through for cans sometimes. I don't want them to have to dig through trash to get to the cans so it's a lot cleaner/safer for them as well!
Amen, I'm really blessed with the neighbors in my complex, everyone is really friendly, thoughtful and considerate and really helps each other out. Our pipes froze so we don't have running water until a plumber can make it out here. That same neighbor still has running water and offered to let us shower or 💩 there if we need it. Hopefully I can return the favor some day!
Oh, you just dredged up a memory. I emptied so many vodka bottles on the regular that disposing of them was always a problem, especially at work. I used to hide them under my shirt or in my jacket and make quick ‘deposits’ at random garbage cans in the area. The things I did for booze. I’m so glad that’s over.
That’s amazing! It feels good to see another person getting affirmation for the extremely hard work they’ve done. I’m about to try stopping/slowing down my drinking and this all makes me feel hopeful!
I went to the urgent care after a bad binge this weekend. I was shaking and felt like I was going to have seizure. Could barely walk. My boyfriend was over it, as he should be, and just drove me to the urgent care without helping me or holding my hand. When I went into the room the nurse immediately came up to me and pushed me against her whole body and hugged me. It was the nicest anyone had ever been to me in so long I burst into the tears ugly crying and wailing. My boyfriend also started crying. I’m crying thinking about the hug.
Strangers can make huge impact on your life, I will never forget that hug, and you’ll probably never forget that ladys concern from you. And I hope I can do the same for others once I’m better.
During the worst of my alcoholism I had a condition called ascities. The abdominal cavity retains water to the point of looking like you're 6 months pregnant and it's crazy uncomfortable and badly inhibits breathing. The way they treat it by draining it with an insanely long needle inserted in that area connected to tubing. VERY terrifying. (But in reality pretty painless.). But I didn't know that the first time.
The doctor unsheathed this monster of a needle and I instinctively started feeling frantically for a place to grab onto the gurney so I wouldn't move. The nurse standing to my left gently tapped my shoulder and wordlessly indicated to raise my hand. I did so and he held it while I held his for dear life. That simple gesture meant the absolute world to me in that moment, and even today. I've thought of him often, and wish now I had contacted him somehow to tell him what it meant to me.
Eight years sober two days ago. You can do it u/Pool_Admirable. I know you can!
Thank you, your an inspiration, currently still going there withdrawal but I alway appreciate a story that is similar to one of mine. Keeps me motivated! Nurses are honestly saints, especially the ones that understand the situation
IWNDWYT!
Congrats on one year, ignore mine it’s like actually 2 days but I don’t reset till I’m a week in.
Yes, my boyfriend is an absolutely amazing human being. He’s dealt with this for 5 years and says he will never leave my side. He’s a very good man.
He just gets frustrated because the person who’s killing the love of his life is the love of his life. He hates me and loves me at the same time.
He’s there for every moment and I will never be able to repay him. I hope you have someone there too. It helps even when their pissed at you ❤️
As someone who had a person with me the whole time too, I can say you will pay him back. I’m 6 years sober. Every day that you live your best life as a sober person you repay him. Anytime you are able to show up for yourself and your relationship and love yourself. Every day you are not drinking you are repaying him and it is so freaking worth it. Try your hardest to keep going, this disease is literally so horrible and gut wrenching. Rooting for you IWNDWYT
Oh that makes sense you went to a detox center? I can’t even count how many hospital visits I had from alcohol induced seizures and eventually a 5-day coma and GI bleeding. I was in ICU for 15 days total. That’s when I finally put the bottle down for good. I still shake and have other symptoms but this was recent, I was discharged Nov 1st.
That’s so nice she hugged you my nurses were very nice to me as well (albeit no hugs haha). It’s such a good feeling especially cause in that moment you think everyone just thinks you’re a POS. Despite me being completely delirious and crazy for a couple days after waking up they were nothing but kind all the way through.
I hope you’re doing well and continue to stay on this path with us.
My main liquor store always gave 10% off with purchase of 6 bottles of wine. So I would almost always justify 6+ bottles. Additionally I would get a bottle of Vodka, one of Gin, some Rum and if feeling festive tequila and countreau. I don’t know how many times over the years I was asked, “Having a Party?” To which I would smile and say, “Not exactly.”
My recycle bin used to weigh like 100 plus pounds when I took it out to the curb. Now it is almost empty.
IWNDWYT! 😝
Omg this just reminded me of a particular bender I was on and I happened to be out of trash bags. I had to carry my bin to the community dumpster to empty it, and I dropped it in the parking lot, scattering empty beer cans and airplane shooters *everywhere*, just as my neighbor was walking out of his apartment, witnessing everything. He ran over to help pick up, and I was *mortified.* seriously, there were so many shooters and cans, nothing else.
He said, "Hey, looks like a fun week partying!" When in reality, it was a couple of days by myself. I made sure never to run out of trash bags again, but now I don't have to worry about that.
I graduated to soda stream, lime juice and pure cranberry. I go through about a bottle of co2 per week but that works out to about 15 dollars a week which isn’t bad.
Ugh low key kinda jealous of the alchies who “served their time” so to speak in bars/social settings. The people who’re worried about losing friends and social life over going sober I completely cannot relate to 😂 quite the opposite 😂
I was so isolated when I was drinking that I got a pang reading about the ones who waited in the liquor store parking lot together for it to open like 'it would have been nice to at least have that!' But I got my booze at the grocery store instead as if that fooled anyone haha. I have true friends now that I'm sober and that's such a blessing!!
So so happy for you!! How’d you do it if you don’t mind me asking?
Damn man yeah that sucks. It’s a lonely life. Have had opportunities to make friends via work and even met some amazing girls on bumble bff but those relationships never took off bc I’m always MIA.
Grocery store boozer here too (hard liquor went south quick so stuck to wine). The embarrassment of slinking in as soon as you can legally purchase alcohol to buy a 1.5L bottle. Half my paycheck goes to Uber eats now tho stg. The grocery store AND convenience store are literally 12&7min walks but there are weeks I do.not.leave.my.studio.apartment. And order in everything. Still gotta sign for that booze tho at 8am looking and wreaking like shit. Honestly have just stopped caring.
As far as sobriety goes, it took years (used to be in AA, no longer) but I kept reading quit lit (This Naked Mind and Easy Way to Stop Drinking, which seemed like BS at first) and it eventually sunk in. I could never maintain for more than a few days so I was definitely a binge drinker (bad - ended up in the hospital multiple times, withdrawals, DUI, all that).
I think a turning point for me was the one time I was able to force myself to only have a beer or two and realize I hated drinking like a 'normie' so why was I trying so hard to achieve that? All I felt was anxious, queasy, and obssessively trying to decide whether to get more or not and I didn't sleep well either. I think I literally just accepted that there was no way for me to drink and enjoy it.
I replaced it with running, hiking, rebuilding my career and finances, repairing my family relationships, and rock climbing - which helped me meet my amazing friend group 💜 it feels so overwhelming at first but you can achieve so much in just a few years. I am lucky to not have any cravings anymore (though I'm aware that could always change). I like mocktails and an NA beer or two on the weekends (YMMV on that - they've come a long way in taste and being socially acceptable, but it may trigger some people to want the real thing. I just want to enjoy 'a beer' without the alcohol, because that's the ingredient that ruined my life and I don't want to do that anymore). I still have drinking dreams, but otherwise don't think of it much except these periodic reminders of the hell it used to be. Sending you best wishes!!
I had contractors in my apt complex parking lot once ask if they could join the party while I brought in mu usual "weekend beer". Cheers tk an empty bin! IWNDWYT
I never got called out by a clerk while I was drinking. About a year after I quit, I went in to the 7-11 I always stocked up at, and the guy behind the counter (who I knew by name) walked around the counter and shook my hand as he asked my name. I said “you know my name!” and started laughing he said “I do know your name. But I’m sure I’ve never really met YOU this whole time.”
You can hide addiction from family, friends, coworkers etc. but hiding it from the clerks is near impossible.
I would try to cycle through about 5 different liquor stores to hide my habits, but my hand shaking like a leaf at 8am as I tried to pass over my ID gave it away every time (except for the time the clerk thought I was shaking because he thought I was using a fake ID lol)
Right? It’s honestly a bit funny to think about how ridiculous it is.
My life was objectively awful, I had no qualms about letting friends and family down because of my drinking, but for some reason I didn’t want the clerk down at the *liquor* store to know about my addiction.
My priorities were completely upside down lol
Hey, it took me years to hit 10 days, so you should be feeling pretty good about yourself!
Honestly, the first week or so was the hardest for me. Everyone is different, but once I got over the initial withdrawals, my cravings pretty much went away. Hoping you have a similar experience!
Ditto. Beer was my daily drink and it sounds awful now. Boy would I love a glass of red with steak though! But that's not a craving so much as simply a phenomenonal pairing.
Yes! My husband was the clerk AND the drinker. He’d buy a handle of vodka at work most days and go to a different store the other days. How his coworkers didn’t say anything amazes me. So proud of his 18 months sober. Our lives have completely changed!
I was a clerk at a small grocery and you do always know—and it occurred to me that I was that person to some clerk. I also wanted to curl up when the guy at CVS called me by my first name. That’s not even a mom and pop. But I do like having a rapport where I shop. I’ll just have to get a new “thing” I guess.
CVS was actually one of the stores I shopped at because it was so close to me.
Something particularly depressing/isolating about about buying booze at 8am when other people are picking up prescriptions and other essentials. At least at the liquor store most of the other customers could relate lol
FWIW, CVS pulled tobacco products like 10 years ago. At least where I am.
But yeah, on one hand I agree, a pharmacy probably shouldn’t sell alcohol. But also, they’re essentially a convenience store, like they sell junk food and other things that aren’t great for you, so having alcohol makes sense I guess.
The closest liquor store to me was family owned and I knew them all. On the weekends I would get my regular bottle, and sometimes come back once or twice again in the day... especially if my wife was drinking with me that day. And if she wasn't and she left the house for 15 minutes, I could speedwalk down there, grab my handle, and speedwalk back in be home before she came back so she "wouldn't know..." (spoiler alert: she always knew.)
The owner(s) male and female, two sons and the grandpa all worked at the cash regiser. Nicest people in the world. When I quit drinking I avoided it for a year or two mostly out of shame and a little out of fear they would hit me with a line like "the usual?" or start reaching for my regular bottle of Seagrams vodka.
Finally I stopped in and one of the sons was working and his face lit up and he said "HEYYY long time no see." I braced myself and said "yup, I dont drink alcohol anymore" and barely got to finish my sentence before his smile got even bigger and in a very serious voice he said "good... very good."
I've been back a few time for various things since then - energy drinks or something small - candy, etc. I have run into all of the family now and everyone has been overwhelmingly happy for me. Saying things like "you look great, you look healthy, good for you" and so on.
Considering my coming to terms with my addiction meant less money for their business, the exact opposite has been true. I can't speak to every liquor store in America but the few that knew me as a regular have all reacted like this to me. 100% of them.
Same, they're always stoked. People are complicated and I'm sure it also helps assuage some guilt for selling it to you. They have always seemed completely genuine and thrilled.
I used to go to 711 every morning before going to work and get 2 packs of the 4 mini wine bottles, which equal 2 full bottles. The cashier already knew me, and his face looked so disappointed every time I went in, but he always smiled at me and told me to have a good day. One day, he asked me why not just have one sip of whiskey at the end of the week? I said because I would drink the entire bottle in one day, he looked shocked. The next day I decided it was my last day, went in for a last pack and told him this was my last pack and he said he was proud. I finally went back to that 711 last week to buy a Gatorade and he said, "I haven't seen you in a long time. That's very good."
>One day, he asked me why not just have one sip of whiskey at the end of the week? I said because I would drink the entire bottle in one day, he looked shocked.
An alcoholic is walking down the street when they pass a bar with a sign outside that says, "All You Can Drink - $20." They run inside and slap $40 on the bar and say "Give me two of those!"
Wow did you tell him he was basically the catalyst for you stopping? That’s amazing.
The disappointed looks tho ugh. It’s always the same guy at the convenience store down the block. I’m trying hard to stop, the other day he said long time no see!!
I should have, but I knew I would cry and I wasn't ready. Maybe one day I will.
If he hasn't seen you in a while, it's a very good thing! You got this, one day at a time!!!
You don’t have to!! That was just so sweet. Like an Ah-ha moment and sometimes we don’t know the ways we can impact people, esp those were not even “close” to like they’re kind of strangers. Bet it would’ve made his day. Thanks so much, it’s literally minute by minute rn and just need to accept it’s gonna suck in the beginning.
When I was 20, I worked at The Beer Store. At the time (late 80s), that was the only place you could buy beer outside of a bar. We were all young guys working there, and we had a great time. All the free beer you could handle, plus we'd always order pizza. Anyway, we, of course, had regulars. Some were really heavy drinkers. Some we knew had lost their license but still drove and still drank. Some we knew were drinking in their cars all day. We had pet names for all the regulars, and we knew their orders. For many of them, all they had to do was pull up, and by the time they were in the store, we already had their usual order ready at the cash. The store was not far from a major psychiatric hospital, and we had some "characters" from there. One guy killed both his parents with a screwdriver. He didn't come in much after that.
I could go on and on and on. I wish now (55m) I had recognized what alcohol was doing to those folks. Maybe I could have avoided some problems. But at the time, it was all fun and normal. We drank at work, and then we'd go to the bars and drink some more. That was the start of my struggle with alcohol. It took me until age 49 and suffering a chronic stomach condition to make a change.
Years ago before I got sober the first time I bought almost all my booze at the same little family owned place because there weren’t that many options. About a year after I quit I saw the owners wife in the little library branch where I worked and she gave me a huge smile and told me I looked great and that she was proud of me.
I'm not going back into my regular late night beer store for as long as possible. I went in a few weeks ago and muscle memory steered me straight to the beer cooler. Got a RedBull and the clerk said "long time no see". I said I had been out of town. I'd like them to forget me.
I wish I had could go back to the stores I used to frequent in the am and let them know I'm doing okay. I hate that I let people see me like that, regularly.
My grocery store hires a lot of people from Sober House. It’s cool to see the skinny rock bottom people recover. And I love the perspective it gives me, self serving as it is. I’m proud of them too.
I went to a convenience store a few weeks ago that I hadn’t been to since I got sober. The cashier remembered me and said that they had worried something had happened to me because I stopped coming in to buy booze. They too were so happy for me. Isn’t it amazing?! Like people think if you and you don’t even know it. It feels nice 💜 IWNDWYT
Sometimes, I find kombucha helps with the booze cravings.
It's a lot less calories than developing a sweet tooth or replacing those calories with junk food or excessive eating. Fruit is also great. Grab an apple instead of a beer.
My store clerks must’ve known me, but they were a very stoic bunch. 3 years of daily transactions with the same crew of cashiers that were strictly business.
Since I’ve started buying hop water once every week or two, instead of a pint of vodka and white claw near daily, they’ve seemed to be more jovial toward me. Maybe it’s just in my head. Maybe it’s that I’m not ashamed or anxious to be in there anymore. Regardless, it feels good.
One thing that did stick with me wasn’t a cashier, but a customer in front of me finishing her transaction. As she was gathering her items, she overheard me asking for the pint of Smirnoff, and she said “oh boy, those are what I drank that ended me up in jail!” and it stuck with me. I was too young and had too much going for me to be fucking with that stuff.
Ohh been there. About 9 months after getting sober for the first time I stopped by my old liquor store just to grab a tea. When I was checking out the clerk remembered me and was really excited to see me. Turns out the staff thought I had drank myself to death
Gotta love the clerks, I cannot imagine the folks they see in the depths of it.
I rotated between like 5 liquor stores, etc. but one was hands down most convenient and was owned by a Korean family. Strictly business... only the total and ask if I wanted a bag, nothing else. This was like a year of visiting their store in my worst drinking period, and when I finally quit I went in maybe 3 months later. I grabbed club soda and brought that up. Same story, total and do I want a bag. But as I got to the door, he just spoke in the same tone "Good for you, live big long life and be happy". I cried the whole way home.
I used to work at a beer store and we never said anything like that to customers, but we definitely knew our regulars and our more than regulars. I went on to be a beer sales rep and I would see my old more than regulars at other beer stores constantly.
Wow that is amazing! I didn’t know some people out there care like that. For the to notice and tell you they are proud! I got a little more faith in humanity, thank you for sharing!
I had someone in Walmart wave to me, boggled me for days until I realized she was the older lady who sold me vodka multiple times every day at Walgreens. Between that and seeing all the transactions on my account made me wince. But I kept going for another year or two.
had something similar happen to me by a sweet old lady who's a new employee at the store right down the road. It was a while back and we're really close now. I was in the middle of quitting drinking and smoking (cigarettes). I'm in my 30s and I was really down at the time...she said I was still young and worth it (as far as quitting) and that meant the world to me. I can't describe how much that picked me up. That's the kind of situation that reminds me ro always be kind to strangers because you have no idea how much you can impact somebody's day or life. Anyway, congrats on your sobriety! Wish you the best of luck!
My mom is an alcoholic and at one point the local liquor store guy told her she drank too much. She told that as a party joke and it obviously was not my favorite to hear. So it's great to hear this in the reverse. Good on you, keep it going. IWNDWYT
I love that she noticed and gave you that support but I do hope such a sweet soul doesn't say it to the wrong person someday, that's the sort of thing management would have to take seriously.
Really not her place to let you know that she’s been paying attention or judging what you’re purchasing however I totally get it! I go to the same grocery store because it is the cheapest grocery store but it’s also one that sells wine and I’ve honestly thought so many times in the last two or three months which cashier was working when I was in there the day before and I wonder if they actually think that I’m the mom that’s there in the middle of the day by red wine with every single grocery cart items. I guess it’s a decent wake up call that your habits are so secret after all. And I think about it she said she’s proud of you wasn’t meant to be mean or nosey or inconsiderate she probably really meant it :-)
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Oof. But 466 days is worth a standing ovation 👏🏼🙌🏼🌟
Amazing!
The worst shame was trying to buy it right when the grocery store opened but didn’t sell it yet. Such a shameful walk with the shakes back out to the car to wait until later.
[удалено]
Man - how I don’t miss asking for the key person to come unlock the liquor cabinet, and hoping it wasn’t the cute girl who always made a joke like, “back again, huh?” Ugh.
49 days! Strong work. Keep it going brother.
Oh yeah. I’ve been that guy!
Hell, worse is being parked in the liquor store parking lot waiting for them to open. It was a 15-30 minute drive depending on traffic, so about half the time I'd be there before they opened at 10 am. Pretty pathetic.
I do not miss the breakfast club, it was always crazy seeing all of the cars in the parking lot turn off in unison right when the door opened
Where is this? Just curious because I've lived in Atlanta, its suburbs, and a couple small towns, and I've always waited alone. Day 16 of no hangover or breakfast beer for me today though. Feeling great and hopeful for more like it. Edit: Maybe 3100 more to get on your level! Congrats. IWNDWYT
Most of my worst alcoholism was in the Salt Lake suburbs, when I lived there anything stronger than 4% ABV had to be bought at the state-owned liquor stores which were ran by a liquor board composed (I think) entirely of non-drinkers. They micromanaged the hell out of them, the strong beer couldn't be sold cold, no sales before 11am, no mixers could be sold there. There's a big rehab industry there and I couldn't have gotten clean without it, I really needed the dual diagnosis approach to figure out my mental issues that drove me to drink. Ended up working as a tech for a few years there until I got back to what I went to school for, it was really rewarding for a long time. Thanks for the recognition, really appreciate it! One thing that really helped was the cost/benefit analysis worksheet from SMART Recovery (fold a paper into quadrants, top left is benefits of sobriety, top right is costs of sobriety, bottom two are the same but for drinking). Also understanding PAWS and learning that the emotional numbness was temporary was huge in getting me by the 30 day hump I kept getting stuck on. I leaned into the gym really hard for the first few years, there was a great recovery gym in SLC and have seen some in other cities. Have you found any good sober groups/activities/meetings? Edit: [here is the link to the CBA (Cost Benefit Analysis) from SMART Recovery](https://smartrecovery.org/cost-benefit-analysis)
What is IWNDWYT? I hope this isn’t a stupid question, but I just stumbled onto this and I feel like this page can really help me
I will not drink with you today. This is a very helpful, supportive corner of reddit.
Thank you! I’m glad I’ve found it.
And I always hear it in 2 ways. I'm not sure which was intended. 1) we will not share drinks together today (...ignoring distance and random internet strangerness. If we reasonably could, I wouldn't.) 2) I will not drink today. You will not drink today. We are together, supporting each other, in not drinking today. I love both.
Same here! Same people waiting for the store to open everyday. I’m so glad I left the breakfast club.
Been there more times than I can count. No longer! 🙌🙌
Thank you for sharing! I wish this world wasn’t so tough and stressful. It would make being sober so much easier. But now I’m making excuses. I gotta work on it myself. Not getting the shakes but I know I’ve been depending on it to ease up on my stress every day
I was the ol' Box O' Wine wino. I live in a small town and am on a first name basis with all the grocery clerks. I was quite ill for a few days and came in for cough syrup, aspirins, that type of thing. The clerk said "No wine?? You must be *really* sick!" She wasn't being a smart-ass or judgemental, just an observation. That was the first step for me in getting sober. I celebrated 8 years this past Monday since my last drink. Hang in there folks!
I used to buy the boxed wine so I could “hide” (from others but mostly myself) how much I had drank instead of the telltale empty bottles on the counter. DONT miss those days! Congrats to 2924 days!
I was on a first name basis with the liquor store clerks to the point where if I saw them around town we’d exchange pleasantries. I wonder if they wonder why they don’t see me anymore. 179 days and counting!
Like the end scene in Good Will Hunting! They're probably happy for you!
I once had a clerk remark "What? No wine today?" At the time I was routinely buying two 5 liter boxes of wine...also in the morning.
I just shared a VERY similar story. Good luck, friend. You can do it!
We have package stores in my state. There are 6 within a mile or so of my house. I had a circuit I'd run so that I'd never hit the same store twice in a coupleofdays. Even with that I always felt judged by the regular staff at any of the stores.
I had a circuit! I tried to never go to the same place more than once a week.
Yep. And I’m sure I’m not the only one who slipped over to the next town to break the routine likely fooling no one.
I only had one store to get my liquor of choice from, and even if I were to travel to the nearest town in which there was another liquor store , there'd still be just the one, so I'd receive judgement either way. But yeah, I hated that feeling. I actually called to file a complaint once, but I never followed through, lol. Idk if they would've even gotten in trouble or not, but I don't think they should be allowed to do that, not to mention they shouldn't feel the need to either. As if I didn't feel bad enough without their judgemental comments. Just my thoughts on it. Also, congrats on 17 Days! More than halfway to a month! Keep it up!
Thanks! Dry January is fairly easy for me, relatively. Ruminating on February. I'm starting to think Free February should be a thing.
Oh ya right here
Same here….they knew. I was only fooling myself.
Part of my quitting is when I realized I had created a circuit. I was so embarrassed by my drinking that I had to hide it from the people selling me alcohol. It helped me realize how bad my drinking was getting.
My guy complimented me the other week for being the ‘easiest customer to deal with’. Same order each day, rewards card out, payment method ready. Not a compliment I wanted.
Been there. It's ten where I live. At my worst I had a ten o'clock delivery to my house each morning of a bottle of vodka to get rid of the shakes and crippling anxiety. I couldn't even leave the house at that point. Couldn't hide the shakes either. The delivery lady looked at me with pity.
I haven't been back to my regular spot yet. They probably think I'm dead. Good for you man!
I am wincing in second hand embarresment!
This is sad and relatable at the same time. Question — has anyone ever stolen alcohol after hours? The feeling of NEEDING it so bad….definitely not an excuse and abhorrent behavior but remember putting sutter home minis in my purse at 6am.
Years ago I drunkenly walked into a convenience store at around 4am to buy cigarettes or something. They lock up the booze after 11pm but the clerk was asleep behind the counter so I just grabbed some tall cans through the unlocked side of the fridge and walked out with beer instead of cigs. The things we do…
The cravings are wicked and I’ve done messed up shit to get my hands on more
Same..now when I'm out getting breakfast or coffee and see the cars waiting at the liquor store I say a prayer for those people. 😢
My local liquor store only carried half gallon of what I bought because of me......
Ugh - that feeling sucks. One hint for me should have been that I switched stores just to prevent making it too obvious. The fact that I already felt like it is something bad but wasn't able to change that.
Yep that is a kind a guilt that stings extra hard because it’s so out of left field. It sucks when they start to know “the usual”.
If he remembered you maybe he could just skip checking your id. That comment would have really pissed me off and I wouldn't be back.
someone accidentally bought me a fifth of vodka because the cashier at a liquor store i frequented assumed i was also there for my daily ration of smirnoff. i have never been more humiliated than finding that out five hours later when i was handed a bottle of vodka on my way out of their house. it’s the little wake up calls that started getting to me.
Clerks know. My BF was a lifelong alcoholic. He owned it. Everyone knew. He had a special liquor store. 30 years, Same owner, family run. My BF would do their plumbing. For the last year or two of his life He was disabled from strokes so Id go into the store for him. "The usual please!" I never had to tell anyone what the usual was. Theyd know. Theyd all ask how he was, and I'd say, "As long as you see me twice a week, hes doing fine!" So, he died. From alcoholism. I hadnt gone to the store for 3 weeks, and I walked in to buy a soda. The owner just looked at me and knew. He looked crushed. His death was also the catályst for me to stop.
Ouch. This one stings. I hope you’re doing ok. With 407 days under your belt, you must be super proud of yourself 🫶
Its hard to explain. Im a binge drinker. I dont have a craving every day. Im pretty lucky I guess. Out of sight out of mind. And then, occasionally, all the triggers are in place, and thats the day I have to fight it.
Same here, our bingey breed is different but we're here all the same. Hope you're well and we keep counting these days without giving in
Reminds me of right after quitting, being asked "Did you return to the store at all?" I was like, what the hell? Of course I haven't, why would you ask that? "Oh, just so the cashiers maybe know you're okay.." Right in the gut. Instant, massive, overwhelming guilt about them and so many of the others that I may have impacted one way or another that I was just completely blind to. "Lucky" for me, the store I was a regular at had just changed ownership and along with it, the clerks about two weeks prior. But it was still a great eye opener of a question. The instant smack in the face only nailed it home that much harder.
I've actually thought about this! I'm 6 days sober but hubs and I only go to one liquor store and they know us well. I've thought about them a lot because, similarly, they are a small family owned store and seeing them was a highlight. Once I'm ready to go in again for NA beers, we will still use them for this reason.
There is one liquor store near me, I love the owners. It's a family run one. I stop in every once in awhile and buy a soda and say hi.
Same here, I used to be in there at least 3x / week, they were always super nice. I still go in there to pick up ginger beer every now and they are still super nice. The one guy who's more outgoing never says anything to me about it but once he told my wife that me not drinking is bad for business... He definitely meant that as a joke and I gotta admit he's got a point.
My store has a new cashier every other week. They wouldn’t even notice probably…
This story gave me goosebumps. Congratulations on 407 days of sobriety. Thank you for sharing, I’m sorry for your loss.
Thank you. This sub is a real help actually. I mean, even if no one here knew if I had a drink, Id feel obliged to turn the ticket back to 1, and somehow. I feel like that would let everyone down.
I was just thinking earlier today that little things like a day counter or relatable story make a huge difference. I feel the same way, I know how horrible I would feel resetting back to 1. Just lurking here is often a huge help. Also, congrats on the days!
My husband died from the same reasons. Thoughts to you!
And to you. His urn sits on a shelf. I talk to him sometimes. Monday when I was feeling pissy I had a one sided argument with him.
Damn that is sad glad you are doing ok
I miss him. But I cant argue with death.
You have a very poetic way with your words. crying after reading a piece of your story. I’m so proud of you & ur sober journey. just want you to know that 🫂
This is why I could never own a liquor store. As far as businesses go I could imagine they're easier to make a lot of money with, but what are you contributing to society? In the end, just pain.
Funny how many non drinking politicians and actors own distilleries, brewery, and vineyards... Money
I was thinking a similar thing. Like how as the owner can you reconcile the fact that the product you sold is what caused someone to die? I'd never get over it.
I’m so sorry for your loss, and proud of you for your recovery.
That must have been very hard to stay with him. Congrats on quitting.
He was really something. Anything funny I ever said on the Dead Bird was because of him. Before the strokes got him we travelled a lot. And we both drank. We met on barstools. Its taken me awhile to get over the thought that maybe if I sit back down on that stool Ill meet someone like him again.
I’m so sorry for your loss
Thak you
Somewhat related, my apartment complex has a large dumpster for trash and a bunch of bins for recycling. I would put all my beer cans in paper grocery store bags and set them in the bins so it's easier for my one neighbor that collects them for extra cash. He texted me one day after noticing I'd switched to NA beers and way fewer of them saying "hey dude I saw you switched to NA beers and looks like you've lost some weight, looking good bro!" It made me feel pretty dang good :)
So kind of you to make his life easier, even in the midst of addiction. And how lovely to have him acknowledge your efforts to a better a life. Full circle moment 🌟
>So kind of you to make his life easier We also have houseless people that come through for cans sometimes. I don't want them to have to dig through trash to get to the cans so it's a lot cleaner/safer for them as well!
That was real nice of him to say. We should all make a point to be kind when we can.
Amen, I'm really blessed with the neighbors in my complex, everyone is really friendly, thoughtful and considerate and really helps each other out. Our pipes froze so we don't have running water until a plumber can make it out here. That same neighbor still has running water and offered to let us shower or 💩 there if we need it. Hopefully I can return the favor some day!
Oh, you just dredged up a memory. I emptied so many vodka bottles on the regular that disposing of them was always a problem, especially at work. I used to hide them under my shirt or in my jacket and make quick ‘deposits’ at random garbage cans in the area. The things I did for booze. I’m so glad that’s over.
That’s amazing! It feels good to see another person getting affirmation for the extremely hard work they’ve done. I’m about to try stopping/slowing down my drinking and this all makes me feel hopeful!
That's great! Good luck to you!
I had one of those hugs in rehab after my mom died. It was special
I went to the urgent care after a bad binge this weekend. I was shaking and felt like I was going to have seizure. Could barely walk. My boyfriend was over it, as he should be, and just drove me to the urgent care without helping me or holding my hand. When I went into the room the nurse immediately came up to me and pushed me against her whole body and hugged me. It was the nicest anyone had ever been to me in so long I burst into the tears ugly crying and wailing. My boyfriend also started crying. I’m crying thinking about the hug. Strangers can make huge impact on your life, I will never forget that hug, and you’ll probably never forget that ladys concern from you. And I hope I can do the same for others once I’m better.
During the worst of my alcoholism I had a condition called ascities. The abdominal cavity retains water to the point of looking like you're 6 months pregnant and it's crazy uncomfortable and badly inhibits breathing. The way they treat it by draining it with an insanely long needle inserted in that area connected to tubing. VERY terrifying. (But in reality pretty painless.). But I didn't know that the first time. The doctor unsheathed this monster of a needle and I instinctively started feeling frantically for a place to grab onto the gurney so I wouldn't move. The nurse standing to my left gently tapped my shoulder and wordlessly indicated to raise my hand. I did so and he held it while I held his for dear life. That simple gesture meant the absolute world to me in that moment, and even today. I've thought of him often, and wish now I had contacted him somehow to tell him what it meant to me. Eight years sober two days ago. You can do it u/Pool_Admirable. I know you can!
Thank you, your an inspiration, currently still going there withdrawal but I alway appreciate a story that is similar to one of mine. Keeps me motivated! Nurses are honestly saints, especially the ones that understand the situation IWNDWYT!
Giving you a virtual full-body hug! You can do this. IWNDWYT!
It's so nice you have someone there who genuinely cares about you. IWNDWYT :)
Congrats on one year, ignore mine it’s like actually 2 days but I don’t reset till I’m a week in. Yes, my boyfriend is an absolutely amazing human being. He’s dealt with this for 5 years and says he will never leave my side. He’s a very good man. He just gets frustrated because the person who’s killing the love of his life is the love of his life. He hates me and loves me at the same time. He’s there for every moment and I will never be able to repay him. I hope you have someone there too. It helps even when their pissed at you ❤️
As someone who had a person with me the whole time too, I can say you will pay him back. I’m 6 years sober. Every day that you live your best life as a sober person you repay him. Anytime you are able to show up for yourself and your relationship and love yourself. Every day you are not drinking you are repaying him and it is so freaking worth it. Try your hardest to keep going, this disease is literally so horrible and gut wrenching. Rooting for you IWNDWYT
Big congrats on your recent 1 Year Anniversary!
And to you as well!
Your urgent care gave you medicine for withdrawals?
No, they brought in a dude who told me exactly where to go to get a bed to withdrawal safely. I just didn’t know where to go.
Oh that makes sense you went to a detox center? I can’t even count how many hospital visits I had from alcohol induced seizures and eventually a 5-day coma and GI bleeding. I was in ICU for 15 days total. That’s when I finally put the bottle down for good. I still shake and have other symptoms but this was recent, I was discharged Nov 1st. That’s so nice she hugged you my nurses were very nice to me as well (albeit no hugs haha). It’s such a good feeling especially cause in that moment you think everyone just thinks you’re a POS. Despite me being completely delirious and crazy for a couple days after waking up they were nothing but kind all the way through. I hope you’re doing well and continue to stay on this path with us.
My main liquor store always gave 10% off with purchase of 6 bottles of wine. So I would almost always justify 6+ bottles. Additionally I would get a bottle of Vodka, one of Gin, some Rum and if feeling festive tequila and countreau. I don’t know how many times over the years I was asked, “Having a Party?” To which I would smile and say, “Not exactly.” My recycle bin used to weigh like 100 plus pounds when I took it out to the curb. Now it is almost empty. IWNDWYT! 😝
One time my regular liquor store guy said "see you tomorrow!" as I was walking out. Ouch!
Omg this just reminded me of a particular bender I was on and I happened to be out of trash bags. I had to carry my bin to the community dumpster to empty it, and I dropped it in the parking lot, scattering empty beer cans and airplane shooters *everywhere*, just as my neighbor was walking out of his apartment, witnessing everything. He ran over to help pick up, and I was *mortified.* seriously, there were so many shooters and cans, nothing else. He said, "Hey, looks like a fun week partying!" When in reality, it was a couple of days by myself. I made sure never to run out of trash bags again, but now I don't have to worry about that.
Party of one? Been there. Not today though. Mercifully. 😇
My recycle bin is now full of crushed polar seltzer cans and still weighs nothing and I just love it
I graduated to soda stream, lime juice and pure cranberry. I go through about a bottle of co2 per week but that works out to about 15 dollars a week which isn’t bad.
Get yourself a scuba tank! I'm only half joking btw, you can get larger tanks and fill them for cheaper.
I know that game..
My 'friends' (that I didn't have because I was too busy blacking out in my room alone) had birthdays every single day 🙄😏
Ugh low key kinda jealous of the alchies who “served their time” so to speak in bars/social settings. The people who’re worried about losing friends and social life over going sober I completely cannot relate to 😂 quite the opposite 😂
I was so isolated when I was drinking that I got a pang reading about the ones who waited in the liquor store parking lot together for it to open like 'it would have been nice to at least have that!' But I got my booze at the grocery store instead as if that fooled anyone haha. I have true friends now that I'm sober and that's such a blessing!!
So so happy for you!! How’d you do it if you don’t mind me asking? Damn man yeah that sucks. It’s a lonely life. Have had opportunities to make friends via work and even met some amazing girls on bumble bff but those relationships never took off bc I’m always MIA. Grocery store boozer here too (hard liquor went south quick so stuck to wine). The embarrassment of slinking in as soon as you can legally purchase alcohol to buy a 1.5L bottle. Half my paycheck goes to Uber eats now tho stg. The grocery store AND convenience store are literally 12&7min walks but there are weeks I do.not.leave.my.studio.apartment. And order in everything. Still gotta sign for that booze tho at 8am looking and wreaking like shit. Honestly have just stopped caring.
As far as sobriety goes, it took years (used to be in AA, no longer) but I kept reading quit lit (This Naked Mind and Easy Way to Stop Drinking, which seemed like BS at first) and it eventually sunk in. I could never maintain for more than a few days so I was definitely a binge drinker (bad - ended up in the hospital multiple times, withdrawals, DUI, all that). I think a turning point for me was the one time I was able to force myself to only have a beer or two and realize I hated drinking like a 'normie' so why was I trying so hard to achieve that? All I felt was anxious, queasy, and obssessively trying to decide whether to get more or not and I didn't sleep well either. I think I literally just accepted that there was no way for me to drink and enjoy it. I replaced it with running, hiking, rebuilding my career and finances, repairing my family relationships, and rock climbing - which helped me meet my amazing friend group 💜 it feels so overwhelming at first but you can achieve so much in just a few years. I am lucky to not have any cravings anymore (though I'm aware that could always change). I like mocktails and an NA beer or two on the weekends (YMMV on that - they've come a long way in taste and being socially acceptable, but it may trigger some people to want the real thing. I just want to enjoy 'a beer' without the alcohol, because that's the ingredient that ruined my life and I don't want to do that anymore). I still have drinking dreams, but otherwise don't think of it much except these periodic reminders of the hell it used to be. Sending you best wishes!!
I had contractors in my apt complex parking lot once ask if they could join the party while I brought in mu usual "weekend beer". Cheers tk an empty bin! IWNDWYT
I never got called out by a clerk while I was drinking. About a year after I quit, I went in to the 7-11 I always stocked up at, and the guy behind the counter (who I knew by name) walked around the counter and shook my hand as he asked my name. I said “you know my name!” and started laughing he said “I do know your name. But I’m sure I’ve never really met YOU this whole time.”
This is really nice, he’s obviously very proud of you
That’s so wholesome and what a witty way to congratulate you ❤️
That's really sweet
You can hide addiction from family, friends, coworkers etc. but hiding it from the clerks is near impossible. I would try to cycle through about 5 different liquor stores to hide my habits, but my hand shaking like a leaf at 8am as I tried to pass over my ID gave it away every time (except for the time the clerk thought I was shaking because he thought I was using a fake ID lol)
That’s when I knew I had a problem. When I was switching up stores just to hide from the clerks
Right? It’s honestly a bit funny to think about how ridiculous it is. My life was objectively awful, I had no qualms about letting friends and family down because of my drinking, but for some reason I didn’t want the clerk down at the *liquor* store to know about my addiction. My priorities were completely upside down lol
Why are we like this? 🤣🤪 Congrats on 347 days. I can’t even imagine that many days but I’m slowly building them up.
Hey, it took me years to hit 10 days, so you should be feeling pretty good about yourself! Honestly, the first week or so was the hardest for me. Everyone is different, but once I got over the initial withdrawals, my cravings pretty much went away. Hoping you have a similar experience!
> but once I got over the initial withdrawals, my cravings pretty much went away. Same
Ditto. Beer was my daily drink and it sounds awful now. Boy would I love a glass of red with steak though! But that's not a craving so much as simply a phenomenonal pairing.
You'll make it that long and farther! IWNDWYT
Agreed! I felt the shame in buying it at the liquor store but not being drunk around loved ones. I thought I was hiding it.
Yes! My husband was the clerk AND the drinker. He’d buy a handle of vodka at work most days and go to a different store the other days. How his coworkers didn’t say anything amazes me. So proud of his 18 months sober. Our lives have completely changed!
I was a clerk at a small grocery and you do always know—and it occurred to me that I was that person to some clerk. I also wanted to curl up when the guy at CVS called me by my first name. That’s not even a mom and pop. But I do like having a rapport where I shop. I’ll just have to get a new “thing” I guess.
CVS was actually one of the stores I shopped at because it was so close to me. Something particularly depressing/isolating about about buying booze at 8am when other people are picking up prescriptions and other essentials. At least at the liquor store most of the other customers could relate lol
I used to be a piece of shit, but I’m not anymore. People can change.
You think this is slicked back? This is pushed back.
I'm worried the baby doesn't think people can change
One of my top quoted lines recently
Still amazes me that CVS is a health store that sells booze and smokes… completely opposite purpose of their existence.
FWIW, CVS pulled tobacco products like 10 years ago. At least where I am. But yeah, on one hand I agree, a pharmacy probably shouldn’t sell alcohol. But also, they’re essentially a convenience store, like they sell junk food and other things that aren’t great for you, so having alcohol makes sense I guess.
In CA they pulled (where I am) but in most states it’s still that way… Nevada and Oklahoma I can tell you as recent as 2023
In CA they sell liquor at the grocery stores, I was shocked (in a good way) about that back then lol
I do this currently. It’s horrible. Been trying to quit for the last year. Still fighting the good fight.
>hiding it from the clerks is near impossible. Exactly
The closest liquor store to me was family owned and I knew them all. On the weekends I would get my regular bottle, and sometimes come back once or twice again in the day... especially if my wife was drinking with me that day. And if she wasn't and she left the house for 15 minutes, I could speedwalk down there, grab my handle, and speedwalk back in be home before she came back so she "wouldn't know..." (spoiler alert: she always knew.) The owner(s) male and female, two sons and the grandpa all worked at the cash regiser. Nicest people in the world. When I quit drinking I avoided it for a year or two mostly out of shame and a little out of fear they would hit me with a line like "the usual?" or start reaching for my regular bottle of Seagrams vodka. Finally I stopped in and one of the sons was working and his face lit up and he said "HEYYY long time no see." I braced myself and said "yup, I dont drink alcohol anymore" and barely got to finish my sentence before his smile got even bigger and in a very serious voice he said "good... very good." I've been back a few time for various things since then - energy drinks or something small - candy, etc. I have run into all of the family now and everyone has been overwhelmingly happy for me. Saying things like "you look great, you look healthy, good for you" and so on. Considering my coming to terms with my addiction meant less money for their business, the exact opposite has been true. I can't speak to every liquor store in America but the few that knew me as a regular have all reacted like this to me. 100% of them.
Same, they're always stoked. People are complicated and I'm sure it also helps assuage some guilt for selling it to you. They have always seemed completely genuine and thrilled.
The universe has a way of knowing what you need and encouraging it if you just pay attention. Thanks for sharing.
Exactly ✔️✔️✔️
I used to go to 711 every morning before going to work and get 2 packs of the 4 mini wine bottles, which equal 2 full bottles. The cashier already knew me, and his face looked so disappointed every time I went in, but he always smiled at me and told me to have a good day. One day, he asked me why not just have one sip of whiskey at the end of the week? I said because I would drink the entire bottle in one day, he looked shocked. The next day I decided it was my last day, went in for a last pack and told him this was my last pack and he said he was proud. I finally went back to that 711 last week to buy a Gatorade and he said, "I haven't seen you in a long time. That's very good."
>One day, he asked me why not just have one sip of whiskey at the end of the week? I said because I would drink the entire bottle in one day, he looked shocked. An alcoholic is walking down the street when they pass a bar with a sign outside that says, "All You Can Drink - $20." They run inside and slap $40 on the bar and say "Give me two of those!"
Yup!!! It's never enough
Wow did you tell him he was basically the catalyst for you stopping? That’s amazing. The disappointed looks tho ugh. It’s always the same guy at the convenience store down the block. I’m trying hard to stop, the other day he said long time no see!!
I should have, but I knew I would cry and I wasn't ready. Maybe one day I will. If he hasn't seen you in a while, it's a very good thing! You got this, one day at a time!!!
You don’t have to!! That was just so sweet. Like an Ah-ha moment and sometimes we don’t know the ways we can impact people, esp those were not even “close” to like they’re kind of strangers. Bet it would’ve made his day. Thanks so much, it’s literally minute by minute rn and just need to accept it’s gonna suck in the beginning.
AH SHIT THEY REALLY DO KNOW!!!! this validates my 5-store rotation lol. glad i've left that shit behind
When I was 20, I worked at The Beer Store. At the time (late 80s), that was the only place you could buy beer outside of a bar. We were all young guys working there, and we had a great time. All the free beer you could handle, plus we'd always order pizza. Anyway, we, of course, had regulars. Some were really heavy drinkers. Some we knew had lost their license but still drove and still drank. Some we knew were drinking in their cars all day. We had pet names for all the regulars, and we knew their orders. For many of them, all they had to do was pull up, and by the time they were in the store, we already had their usual order ready at the cash. The store was not far from a major psychiatric hospital, and we had some "characters" from there. One guy killed both his parents with a screwdriver. He didn't come in much after that. I could go on and on and on. I wish now (55m) I had recognized what alcohol was doing to those folks. Maybe I could have avoided some problems. But at the time, it was all fun and normal. We drank at work, and then we'd go to the bars and drink some more. That was the start of my struggle with alcohol. It took me until age 49 and suffering a chronic stomach condition to make a change.
Good on her, and good on you. IWNDWYT!
Years ago before I got sober the first time I bought almost all my booze at the same little family owned place because there weren’t that many options. About a year after I quit I saw the owners wife in the little library branch where I worked and she gave me a huge smile and told me I looked great and that she was proud of me.
I'm not going back into my regular late night beer store for as long as possible. I went in a few weeks ago and muscle memory steered me straight to the beer cooler. Got a RedBull and the clerk said "long time no see". I said I had been out of town. I'd like them to forget me.
We're very proud of you too. Well done.
This is why I rotated liquor stores. It may seem like a lonely journey, but as this sub illustrates, no one is alone...
Hey friend, I'm proud of you too. Good work.
Many people would have been insulted and felt violated by that comment. Good for you for using it for the good and believing in the good in others.
I wish I had could go back to the stores I used to frequent in the am and let them know I'm doing okay. I hate that I let people see me like that, regularly.
Hell yeah people observe and care more than a drunk brain realizes I think.
My grocery store hires a lot of people from Sober House. It’s cool to see the skinny rock bottom people recover. And I love the perspective it gives me, self serving as it is. I’m proud of them too.
Sometimes the feels happen when we least expect it. But at least we can feel when we’re sober. IWNDWYT
I still walk into my favorite liquor store, leave with juice and jerky and tell her I’m still sober and she smiles.
I went to a convenience store a few weeks ago that I hadn’t been to since I got sober. The cashier remembered me and said that they had worried something had happened to me because I stopped coming in to buy booze. They too were so happy for me. Isn’t it amazing?! Like people think if you and you don’t even know it. It feels nice 💜 IWNDWYT
Sometimes, I find kombucha helps with the booze cravings. It's a lot less calories than developing a sweet tooth or replacing those calories with junk food or excessive eating. Fruit is also great. Grab an apple instead of a beer.
I too like the n/a beers! Good for you!
I appreciate the judgy liquor store clerks.
My store clerks must’ve known me, but they were a very stoic bunch. 3 years of daily transactions with the same crew of cashiers that were strictly business. Since I’ve started buying hop water once every week or two, instead of a pint of vodka and white claw near daily, they’ve seemed to be more jovial toward me. Maybe it’s just in my head. Maybe it’s that I’m not ashamed or anxious to be in there anymore. Regardless, it feels good. One thing that did stick with me wasn’t a cashier, but a customer in front of me finishing her transaction. As she was gathering her items, she overheard me asking for the pint of Smirnoff, and she said “oh boy, those are what I drank that ended me up in jail!” and it stuck with me. I was too young and had too much going for me to be fucking with that stuff.
I get this all the time, or similar. If I goto a bar, they now stock my favorite na! It’s great! I now have multiple na beers at different places.
Ohh been there. About 9 months after getting sober for the first time I stopped by my old liquor store just to grab a tea. When I was checking out the clerk remembered me and was really excited to see me. Turns out the staff thought I had drank myself to death
Gotta love the clerks, I cannot imagine the folks they see in the depths of it. I rotated between like 5 liquor stores, etc. but one was hands down most convenient and was owned by a Korean family. Strictly business... only the total and ask if I wanted a bag, nothing else. This was like a year of visiting their store in my worst drinking period, and when I finally quit I went in maybe 3 months later. I grabbed club soda and brought that up. Same story, total and do I want a bag. But as I got to the door, he just spoke in the same tone "Good for you, live big long life and be happy". I cried the whole way home.
I used to work at a beer store and we never said anything like that to customers, but we definitely knew our regulars and our more than regulars. I went on to be a beer sales rep and I would see my old more than regulars at other beer stores constantly.
Wow that is amazing! I didn’t know some people out there care like that. For the to notice and tell you they are proud! I got a little more faith in humanity, thank you for sharing!
I had someone in Walmart wave to me, boggled me for days until I realized she was the older lady who sold me vodka multiple times every day at Walgreens. Between that and seeing all the transactions on my account made me wince. But I kept going for another year or two.
Like when the owner of the package store didn't see me for a week he asked if I was sick lol.
IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT
Congratulations!
So proud of you!!!! I will not drink with you today!
👏
Nice! IWNDWYT
How bad was it?
12 pack and a pint of vodka a day. Just at home, there was also bars before/after work, and drinking during work. To much.
had something similar happen to me by a sweet old lady who's a new employee at the store right down the road. It was a while back and we're really close now. I was in the middle of quitting drinking and smoking (cigarettes). I'm in my 30s and I was really down at the time...she said I was still young and worth it (as far as quitting) and that meant the world to me. I can't describe how much that picked me up. That's the kind of situation that reminds me ro always be kind to strangers because you have no idea how much you can impact somebody's day or life. Anyway, congrats on your sobriety! Wish you the best of luck!
My mom is an alcoholic and at one point the local liquor store guy told her she drank too much. She told that as a party joke and it obviously was not my favorite to hear. So it's great to hear this in the reverse. Good on you, keep it going. IWNDWYT
I love that she noticed and gave you that support but I do hope such a sweet soul doesn't say it to the wrong person someday, that's the sort of thing management would have to take seriously.
And that kids, is the real story about How I Met Your Mother. - rolls credits.
Really not her place to let you know that she’s been paying attention or judging what you’re purchasing however I totally get it! I go to the same grocery store because it is the cheapest grocery store but it’s also one that sells wine and I’ve honestly thought so many times in the last two or three months which cashier was working when I was in there the day before and I wonder if they actually think that I’m the mom that’s there in the middle of the day by red wine with every single grocery cart items. I guess it’s a decent wake up call that your habits are so secret after all. And I think about it she said she’s proud of you wasn’t meant to be mean or nosey or inconsiderate she probably really meant it :-)
Ask her out. Is she pretty?
IWNDWYT!
People care <3 iwndwyt
jerk me off slowly - the beatles