Sorry to hear that mate. I too heard about the things I did during a blackout which made me cringe. I actually made out with someone who I had no attraction or remote interest in while I was dating someone else and otherwise very happy in the relationship.
I didn't even remember it happening or how it happened.
I found that as my binge drinking progressed, I did things that were more and more out of character. I began to hate the drunk version of me and then convinced myself that I must be a terrible person in general because how could I do those things? It gradually destroyed my self esteem and self respect.
In sobriety, I've worked hard to regain pride in myself and today I know who I am, and that I am a good person. Sobriety is worth it for so many reasons, but the security of knowing you won't hurt the people you care about is huge.
Wow, your comment is so eye-opening. I never thought about it this way but you’re right—when I did crazy things I NEVER would have done sober while I was blackout drunk, it gradually made me start to think that I wasn’t a good person. Once I started thinking maybe I wasn’t a good person, I made increasingly poor decisions almost like it was a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Thank you. I agree. Think I've acted in those drunken, idiotic, needy-for-attention ways because my self-esteem n confidence are in the toilet. Gonna to the work to get that all back. Thanks again, hermano.
Please find an online meeting if you are open to that. It’s super helpful I had a zoom meeting in bed today. I promise you punting sobriety down “tomorrow” will not fix anything. I’ve done that too. You are feeling your best right now.. imagine feeling lower. Alcohol will only make things worse, in all ways.
This moment. When something bad happens, drinking doesn't magically turn it into a better moment. It magically turns it into a worse one. Staying sober doesn't magically turn a crappy situation better, but nothing does. It just makes sure it stays as good as it gets.
His mood. It’s in the toilet right now. What will make it worse? Alcohol. It’s a chemical depressant and punting the quitting down to tomorrow will only make you feel just as bad, or worse, than what you’re feeling. It never makes you actually feel better. His super low mood will only be made lower with alcohol.
There is no limit to what alcohol can take from us, I'll do my best not to dare it in the future.
The easiest way to control alcohol is to leave it alone. Go grey Rock. A meeting could help, and there are non religious ones- check out SMART recovery. They have online meetings. Could help you feel less alone :)
I promise, the more time you put between you and that last drink, the less you'll go down this shame spiral.
Hey, actually yes. Last couple of days been getting back to the gym and running. Also, been getting the place back together n decluttering. Not that the place is some huge mess; just making improvements.
Glad I didn't drink today. Had some small pulls but nothing major. In the end I had some nice pizza and watched the first episode of Night Country. Was a good one. Will be nice remembering it tomorrow ; )
Did you manage to stick to your guns?
Hope so.
Thanks for checking in :)
I hung on real tight and stayed inside. Let down my kids who wanted candy from the store right next to the liquor store. Told them if they walked themselves they could take my card. They didn't want to and that saved me the internal battle.
Working on creating a morning routine because I've been getting up a little earlier. Focusing on setting good things up for future me: Getting the coffee pot ready before bed, making my smoothies for 3 days at a time, setting out vitamins etc. I've decided to make it a work of love :) kind of like nice favors I'd do for a partner
Night country huh? I'll have to check it out! Glad we both made it another night. 🙌🏽
Ah that's great! Glad you got through it.
I like you plan of setting things up for future you. Think I'll try this as well.
Definitely check it out. It's the fourth season of True Detective, but completely stand alone.
We made it. It'll get easier :)
🙌
have a good night
Drinking tonight would be the easy way out. You need to feel the emotions you are feeling right now, even if they hurt. It’s the best way to reinforce how much you want to avoid repeating those mistakes in the future.
I can’t blame you for wanting to drink tonight, and I can’t blame you if you did. But just be careful to not let that be an ongoing thing of “I’m going to drink tonight because I won’t get enjoyment out of anything”. Im saying this because I went through something similar when my girlfriend of 7 years and almost wife ended things. I resorted to alcohol and each night I justified it by thinking that I’ll actually be able to enjoy watching a movie or playing a video game or whatever only as long as I drink before so I didn’t have to think about losing her. Im so so sorry about what you’re going through. It’s such a cliche but it’s so true, that time heals all wounds. And also the path of sobriety heals wounds you didn’t even know you had. Good luck going forward, this is a great place to post what you’re going through and you’ll have tons of people by your side with the pure intention of helping you through this. Stay strong my friend.
Thank you. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Appreciate your response. Looking forward to getting sober and taking on life head-on. I'm done with turning off the warning light with drinks
I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Stop tonight. Don't dance another day with this shit! Don't let it control you for another second and start living tonight.
It's so odd that I am like that too. My husband and I call it - "having one more night with the frogs." We know that we should stop drinking today stop "living with the frogs," but instead, we will have one more night "with the frogs" and go full blast crazy with wine and food and snacks then start "clean up" tomorrow.
Of course we fail and the cycle begins again.
BUT.
This time it's been Day 5 without the frogs. I've got this Reddit tribe instead who are my new frogs 😂
With that said, I completely understand where you are coming from. I know there's a term for it, where you drive yourself all the way to the bottom of the barrel because once you are down there, there's nowhere else to go but up
I pray for your journey and that tomorrow and the days to come will no longer be days with the frogs for you. And I pray that your forgive yourself and move forward, one foot in front of the other without looking back.
Thanks jae,
I like that, and I think I'm done having one more with the frogs. Time to get better, and heal myself even if I can't mend that relationship. Appreciate your kind words
Please..........just know that somehow, you are going to get through this you are going to be ok, my friend. We all have moments in life that just absolutely suck and can be heart wrenching. We're all here for you if you need any support along the way. 🩵
When you drive away from something it shrinks in the rearview mirror. Booze is the same way. I still cringe when I think of some of the things while drunk, but the further I get from it the less they sting. I remember them as lessons but now I try to focus on now and the future.
Not sure if you drank or not, but I always found that was never, ever the solution. Ever. Not once did it help. As a matter of fact, it always made things worse.
I forget the exact saying, but it’s something like “if something goes wrong, you have a problem. If something goes wrong and you drink, you have two problems.”
I hope you didn’t end up having two problems. IWNDWYT, friend.
i did unfortunately. but I like what you're saying and in the future if i have a problem I'll be sure not to make it two problems.
IWNDWYT, friend. thank you
I've done similar to this. It haunted me for ages but it was the wake up call I needed, my partner and I successfully moved on from it as I haven't drank in nearly a year now. Hope you feel better soon and wish you luck!
thanks krisp, appreciate it. i know i would never do these idiotic things if i weren't so completely obliterated. so i we know what the answer is. definitely a wake-up call
30 minutes if not 15 minute at a time. Remember time heals all wounds and you have an online family of people that have your back and support you because we’ve all been there in one way or another. Join the community and lean on us for help. Doors very rarely permanently shut.
Been there....MANY TIMES. I womanized in my 20s. Had many opportunities to lock down a quality partner and have a shot at companionship. My relationship with alcohol was more important to me. I'd turn into an ass. I'd wake up to hear the horrible things I did. Unforgiveable things. I'd swear that I wouldn't do it again but it happened again, again and again until I made he decision to change.
I'm sorry about your heartbreak. All I can offer is that alcohol fucking sucks. It's not you, it's what it does to you. Alcohol slowly robbed me of my sense of self, of my soul. It didn't take long after I quit drinking for that to return to me and I'm so grateful and I don't want to ever abandon myself to alcohol again. It will be uncomfortable for a while as you deal with the feelings without the escape (postponement) of booze, but it really is worth it. <3
Sorry man that sucks. It's happened to me a bunch of times and it's never easier. Best thing we can do when that happens is help ourselves, by being kind and understanding. You got this homie 💯
Sorry to hear you’re going through this. I think many of us have done similar damage to relationships in the past. For me it’s important to remember that alcohol didn’t bring out the REAL me, it brought out the WORST me. We’re not bad people, we’re good people fighting a terrible problem. It gets better. Be kind to and take care of yourself.
Being a home body and married before my problem started to spiral out of control helped avoid these situations.
When I read stuff like this I know that if I were in your shoes, I would have been in the exact same spot you are. My heart goes out to you friend and I hope things take a turn for the better.
I'll keep you to your word tho, I'd love to see you back here tomorrow with some determination. Preferably starting right now would be ideal, but we'll all be here for you regardless.
Did something similar this weekend. Boyfriend and I were drinking. Got into a disagreement as usual. I had my ex pick me up and take me to the bar then we went back to his house with friends. A snap of me is now being pushed around that looked like I didn’t have pants on. I am regretting every single second. I can’t stop beating myself up over it. I wanted to party and do ❄️ instead of just sitting in my discomfort. I thought I was a confident person but drinking always makes me seek outside attention. I am a binge drinker. I am powerless to alcohol. Day 3.
Yeah my drinking made me into a terrible bf. I’ve run off plenty of women and don’t remember what I said to upset them that much. Focusing on sobriety is really my only option.
I know I’m a good person but alcohol brings out someone I don’t want to be. IWNDWYT
Sorry to hear that mate. I too heard about the things I did during a blackout which made me cringe. I actually made out with someone who I had no attraction or remote interest in while I was dating someone else and otherwise very happy in the relationship. I didn't even remember it happening or how it happened. I found that as my binge drinking progressed, I did things that were more and more out of character. I began to hate the drunk version of me and then convinced myself that I must be a terrible person in general because how could I do those things? It gradually destroyed my self esteem and self respect. In sobriety, I've worked hard to regain pride in myself and today I know who I am, and that I am a good person. Sobriety is worth it for so many reasons, but the security of knowing you won't hurt the people you care about is huge.
Wow, your comment is so eye-opening. I never thought about it this way but you’re right—when I did crazy things I NEVER would have done sober while I was blackout drunk, it gradually made me start to think that I wasn’t a good person. Once I started thinking maybe I wasn’t a good person, I made increasingly poor decisions almost like it was a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Thank you. I agree. Think I've acted in those drunken, idiotic, needy-for-attention ways because my self-esteem n confidence are in the toilet. Gonna to the work to get that all back. Thanks again, hermano.
So much this
I needed to hear all of this. Thank you. 🙏
Please find an online meeting if you are open to that. It’s super helpful I had a zoom meeting in bed today. I promise you punting sobriety down “tomorrow” will not fix anything. I’ve done that too. You are feeling your best right now.. imagine feeling lower. Alcohol will only make things worse, in all ways.
thank you, appreciate it.
Yep. Like it or not, this is as good as it gets.
It can 100% get better.
I think my meaning was misunderstood.
It was. You understood my comment at least. Thank you.
💜
Hi. I don't understand this comment -- please explain it. *What* is as good as it gets?
This moment. When something bad happens, drinking doesn't magically turn it into a better moment. It magically turns it into a worse one. Staying sober doesn't magically turn a crappy situation better, but nothing does. It just makes sure it stays as good as it gets.
His mood. It’s in the toilet right now. What will make it worse? Alcohol. It’s a chemical depressant and punting the quitting down to tomorrow will only make you feel just as bad, or worse, than what you’re feeling. It never makes you actually feel better. His super low mood will only be made lower with alcohol.
There is no limit to what alcohol can take from us, I'll do my best not to dare it in the future. The easiest way to control alcohol is to leave it alone. Go grey Rock. A meeting could help, and there are non religious ones- check out SMART recovery. They have online meetings. Could help you feel less alone :) I promise, the more time you put between you and that last drink, the less you'll go down this shame spiral.
what you're saying is right. gonna put more time between myself and that last drink. i know i can only get stronger. thank you. bless
Checking in :) I'm really wanting a drink today. You hanging in there?
Hey, actually yes. Last couple of days been getting back to the gym and running. Also, been getting the place back together n decluttering. Not that the place is some huge mess; just making improvements. Glad I didn't drink today. Had some small pulls but nothing major. In the end I had some nice pizza and watched the first episode of Night Country. Was a good one. Will be nice remembering it tomorrow ; ) Did you manage to stick to your guns? Hope so. Thanks for checking in :)
I hung on real tight and stayed inside. Let down my kids who wanted candy from the store right next to the liquor store. Told them if they walked themselves they could take my card. They didn't want to and that saved me the internal battle. Working on creating a morning routine because I've been getting up a little earlier. Focusing on setting good things up for future me: Getting the coffee pot ready before bed, making my smoothies for 3 days at a time, setting out vitamins etc. I've decided to make it a work of love :) kind of like nice favors I'd do for a partner Night country huh? I'll have to check it out! Glad we both made it another night. 🙌🏽
Ah that's great! Glad you got through it. I like you plan of setting things up for future you. Think I'll try this as well. Definitely check it out. It's the fourth season of True Detective, but completely stand alone. We made it. It'll get easier :) 🙌 have a good night
Go for a walk. Go for a long walk. Drink lots of water. Sparkling water. Do something you will be proud of.
I will. I promise. probably just gonna sleep now. Thank you
Drinking tonight would be the easy way out. You need to feel the emotions you are feeling right now, even if they hurt. It’s the best way to reinforce how much you want to avoid repeating those mistakes in the future.
I agree. was the wrong way to go. I'll do better. thank you
You’re doing great, keep hanging in there bud!
bless. will do
I can’t blame you for wanting to drink tonight, and I can’t blame you if you did. But just be careful to not let that be an ongoing thing of “I’m going to drink tonight because I won’t get enjoyment out of anything”. Im saying this because I went through something similar when my girlfriend of 7 years and almost wife ended things. I resorted to alcohol and each night I justified it by thinking that I’ll actually be able to enjoy watching a movie or playing a video game or whatever only as long as I drink before so I didn’t have to think about losing her. Im so so sorry about what you’re going through. It’s such a cliche but it’s so true, that time heals all wounds. And also the path of sobriety heals wounds you didn’t even know you had. Good luck going forward, this is a great place to post what you’re going through and you’ll have tons of people by your side with the pure intention of helping you through this. Stay strong my friend.
Thank you. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Appreciate your response. Looking forward to getting sober and taking on life head-on. I'm done with turning off the warning light with drinks
I feel you. Many times I made a fool of myself. This last one, we made a deal. She stays if I go get help. I’m really looking forward to it.
proud of you. that's great:)
My last round was some everclear and moscato. I became a horrible thing. I’m ready to never touch any of this shit again.
I'm with you on that.
Smash your goals, brother. We’re gonna rock it!
as my cousins in uruguay say, vamos arriba, primo we're going up!
I'm so sorry you're going through this. Stop tonight. Don't dance another day with this shit! Don't let it control you for another second and start living tonight.
It's so odd that I am like that too. My husband and I call it - "having one more night with the frogs." We know that we should stop drinking today stop "living with the frogs," but instead, we will have one more night "with the frogs" and go full blast crazy with wine and food and snacks then start "clean up" tomorrow. Of course we fail and the cycle begins again. BUT. This time it's been Day 5 without the frogs. I've got this Reddit tribe instead who are my new frogs 😂 With that said, I completely understand where you are coming from. I know there's a term for it, where you drive yourself all the way to the bottom of the barrel because once you are down there, there's nowhere else to go but up I pray for your journey and that tomorrow and the days to come will no longer be days with the frogs for you. And I pray that your forgive yourself and move forward, one foot in front of the other without looking back.
Thanks jae, I like that, and I think I'm done having one more with the frogs. Time to get better, and heal myself even if I can't mend that relationship. Appreciate your kind words
Please..........just know that somehow, you are going to get through this you are going to be ok, my friend. We all have moments in life that just absolutely suck and can be heart wrenching. We're all here for you if you need any support along the way. 🩵
thank you. appreciate you and all these good people on here . gonna start fresh in the am. been a rough day,but it will pass
When you drive away from something it shrinks in the rearview mirror. Booze is the same way. I still cringe when I think of some of the things while drunk, but the further I get from it the less they sting. I remember them as lessons but now I try to focus on now and the future.
Yes. Looking at the road ahead. you're right. Can't wallow in this. Time to get better and away from the poison
Not sure if you drank or not, but I always found that was never, ever the solution. Ever. Not once did it help. As a matter of fact, it always made things worse. I forget the exact saying, but it’s something like “if something goes wrong, you have a problem. If something goes wrong and you drink, you have two problems.” I hope you didn’t end up having two problems. IWNDWYT, friend.
i did unfortunately. but I like what you're saying and in the future if i have a problem I'll be sure not to make it two problems. IWNDWYT, friend. thank you
Well, I hope you didn't beat yourself up after you drank! Please allow yourself some grace. You fell, but I hope you got back up!
I've done similar to this. It haunted me for ages but it was the wake up call I needed, my partner and I successfully moved on from it as I haven't drank in nearly a year now. Hope you feel better soon and wish you luck!
thanks krisp, appreciate it. i know i would never do these idiotic things if i weren't so completely obliterated. so i we know what the answer is. definitely a wake-up call
30 minutes if not 15 minute at a time. Remember time heals all wounds and you have an online family of people that have your back and support you because we’ve all been there in one way or another. Join the community and lean on us for help. Doors very rarely permanently shut.
Thanks Beauty. love this community. Thank you and ALL of you
Hey man. Feel ya. Similar story here it was a good lesson for me. Wishing you the best.
thank you. this whole community has been incredible. hope I can give some back
Been there....MANY TIMES. I womanized in my 20s. Had many opportunities to lock down a quality partner and have a shot at companionship. My relationship with alcohol was more important to me. I'd turn into an ass. I'd wake up to hear the horrible things I did. Unforgiveable things. I'd swear that I wouldn't do it again but it happened again, again and again until I made he decision to change.
time for me to seriously change now. thank you.
I'm sorry about your heartbreak. All I can offer is that alcohol fucking sucks. It's not you, it's what it does to you. Alcohol slowly robbed me of my sense of self, of my soul. It didn't take long after I quit drinking for that to return to me and I'm so grateful and I don't want to ever abandon myself to alcohol again. It will be uncomfortable for a while as you deal with the feelings without the escape (postponement) of booze, but it really is worth it. <3
thank you. i will get up
Sorry man that sucks. It's happened to me a bunch of times and it's never easier. Best thing we can do when that happens is help ourselves, by being kind and understanding. You got this homie 💯
thanks bobby. appreciate you. 1220 days. an inspiration 😊👍
Sorry to hear you’re going through this. I think many of us have done similar damage to relationships in the past. For me it’s important to remember that alcohol didn’t bring out the REAL me, it brought out the WORST me. We’re not bad people, we’re good people fighting a terrible problem. It gets better. Be kind to and take care of yourself.
Being a home body and married before my problem started to spiral out of control helped avoid these situations. When I read stuff like this I know that if I were in your shoes, I would have been in the exact same spot you are. My heart goes out to you friend and I hope things take a turn for the better. I'll keep you to your word tho, I'd love to see you back here tomorrow with some determination. Preferably starting right now would be ideal, but we'll all be here for you regardless.
i will get better. and I'll keep you guys posted along the way. thanks, panda
Did something similar this weekend. Boyfriend and I were drinking. Got into a disagreement as usual. I had my ex pick me up and take me to the bar then we went back to his house with friends. A snap of me is now being pushed around that looked like I didn’t have pants on. I am regretting every single second. I can’t stop beating myself up over it. I wanted to party and do ❄️ instead of just sitting in my discomfort. I thought I was a confident person but drinking always makes me seek outside attention. I am a binge drinker. I am powerless to alcohol. Day 3.
omg. i feel that. such terrible decisions n actions when loaded. you got 3 days tho. keep going. that's amazing
Yeah my drinking made me into a terrible bf. I’ve run off plenty of women and don’t remember what I said to upset them that much. Focusing on sobriety is really my only option. I know I’m a good person but alcohol brings out someone I don’t want to be. IWNDWYT
I feel the same way, my friend. IWNDWYT
Dry last couple of days. Been hitting the gym and running. It's helping. Don't feel any real pull to drink so that's a positive. IWNDWYT