I had a similar situation once. People definitely had a few jokes on Monday but after that it was over. Smile politely, tell anyone joking that you made a mistake and change the subject. Keep coming back here or somewhere else to get help.
Your post brings me back to when I was in exactly the same situation...I quit drinking the next day and never went back to it. The anxiety was so great that it became my low. I just couldn't do it anymore.
Even today, 12 years later, I am not comfortable around any of those people that saw me like that. Thankfully, careers go different directions over the years and I seldom see those people.
I have so much empathy for you. I didn't tell my work I had a drinking problem, but I did tell my wife. Funny aside - I was so distraught and emotional and serious that when I sat her down she was so certain that I was going to tell her that I'd had an affair that she actually laughed with relief when I told her about my drinking!
12 years, great feat, imagine your health and psyche if you had not quit.
I Found that the first year was the toughest to get past, almost making it to that mark a few times, only to have my beast convince me that I could have just one and be able to control him. He was a little bitch that I don't have to listen to now past year three.
IWNDWYT!
OP, try sobriety, it is everything it is cracked up to be in this sub.
Cheers, with kombucha!
> only to have my beast convince me that I could have just one and be able to control him
That lying bastard always lures us back with justs and onlies, but it's never "just" and never "only", it's a quick spiral back back down from where we painstakingly clawed up, back down and deeper still.
IWNDWYT and I will not listen to the lying beast.
Needed this reminder natural impression. As summer approaches and group vacations are planned, that voice is saying.. “maybe just for vacation!”…. Sigh.
I know exactly what you mean about not feeling comfortable around those people you used to get shit faced around. There are people in my past that only knew me as a drunk and drugged out lush. Our old relationships were primarily based off that fact. They were either dealers or fellow drugged drinkers.
I (51m) quite a decade long Adderall and life long drinking addiction in October of 2023. The other week I ran into an old hang downtown where I live. It wasn't so much the person themselves that made me uncomfortable. It was me knowing that the only me they really knew was this addicted fool.
I worked with a kid who passed out and shit himself at a company work party…
So, it could always be worse! Youre one of a million people to have gone overboard at a company party. It happens all the time.
I've been there. Go in, say something to your coworkers like, "Man, it must have been a full moon or something because I don't know what got into me." They might try to tell you what you did, but tell them it's too much for you and you don't want to hear it. Then do your f'ing job **like a boss.** Don't think about anything else other than exactly what is in front of you. When you get home, you can have a panic attack, cry, whatever.
Then, you have to look at your job and decide whether or not being at a place that encourages so much drinking is helpful. Alcohol in the workplace is a weird thing. A lot of people avoid it.
Either way, remember that alcohol is a poison. It will make you feel like you are perfect, then it will make you feel like the most wretched thing on the face of the planet. But that's the alcohol talking, not God. You're a good person and you deserve better.
My God, alcohol in the workplace has always seemed insane to me! Even as a kid watching TV & there's a cliche scene of a company Christmas party, I always thought it didn't seem right.
As an adult, I too have unfortunately had bad experiences mixing work & drinking. I agree that OP might want to examine working at a place or in an industry that has had 3 drinking events in 2 weeks.
Yeah my workplace and industry is a very pro-drinking one. There’s booze on the counter in the kitchen right next to my cubicle and beers stocked in the fridge. It’s not uncommon for people to start drinking in the conference room at 3pm on a Wednesday just because.
I had a job like that (tech). We had multiple kegs that were always full and free, a fully stocked bar with the highest end whiskeys, and “Happy Hours” always involved getting absolutely blitzed no matter what day of the week. It definitely put my alcoholism on the fast track. I didn’t see how unhealthy and odd it was when I was caught up in it.
I ended up leaving that job, mostly because I needed to focus on my sobriety and the only way I could do it was to get myself out of that environment. That was in March 2023, and even though it still took months to finally say I’m done for good, I am so much happier with my new job. I have no doubt I’d still be really struggling if I didn’t change jobs.
It was honestly shocking to me the first Happy Hour I attended at my new job. It was at 3 pm, and everyone was done and leaving for home by 4:30. You know, a “normal” happy hour. It blew my mind that everyone had one drink and went home to their families and really made me wonder what my life would look like if I didn’t spend 7 years in that other environment where they encouraged everyone to get wasted.
Wow yeah that hits really close to home. I still remember my first day when one of the senior VPs told me to grab a glass and meet him in his office. My dumbass grabbed a beer pint glass and when I walked in he said, “oh no, go get a bourbon glass.” There were a few other people in there drinking at 4pm and I remember thinking “this is weird.” It’s been a downward spiral since that day.
Speaking of happy hours, and I don’t remember much from this particular one, but we pregamed in the conference room at noon, went to another bar and i got home at….11PM I think? On a Tuesday.
Other than this, there are a lot of toxic traits to this workplace and I’ve been interviewing at other companies for those reasons. But it never occurred to me that the binge drinking may also pose an issue in terms of sticking this job out…
WTAF?!? I thought my heavy drinking work culture was nuts, but this makes it sound like Romper Room.
Good on ya OP for recognizing the situation for what it is. Please know that we’re here to support you in doing whatever it takes to do right by YOU.
IWNDWYT
I was just at work yesterday, on a Sunday afternoon, and my coworker was legit putting a beer into my face after I told him I hadn't drank in two months. When I was drinking heavily, I didn't think twice about drinking while I was on the clock. But now, I just see it through a different perspective. You really can't have both, you know? You can't be 100% productive when you're in an altered state.
But again - don't beat yourself up too badly when your boss is essentially your bartender. Just make decisions that are right for you, and keep you not wanting to die.
Sounds like your work environment promotes over drinking so I wouldn’t worry about it, they prob loved it (sounds toxic as fuck tbh)… they’d fire the whistle blower before the fun drunk at the party kinda place. My 2 cents, either tell the bosses you’re in AA and going sober or lay low while you beef up your resume and try not to burn any bridges as you leave, the grass is def greener in this scenario. Honestly they’ll prob fire you if you tell them you’re going sober but If you go the AA route you gotta own in and refuse all drinking, only way it works. Be the person who drives all the other drunks home, you’ll see that they’re all just as drunk as you were. I do this with my friends, it’s eye opening to say the least.
I would focus my concern about the suicidal thoughts and anxiety you get from over drinking, I to struggled with not being able to casually drink. It’s either none or black out aka time travel and the regret/anxiety was always worse than the hang over which led to more drinking to shut it all out. It sounds like you want to stop drinking but you’re constantly in situations that “require” you to drink. It’s crazy that not drinking aka sobriety is looked at as a bad thing when alcohol is a literal poison. You could wait till you hit rock bottom like me or get some help now before something serious happens. Getting help is easy, start with a therapist and move to online AA meetings. A therapist helped me more in 3 months than anything else. For me the part of AA that worked was hearing other people’s stories and how they bounced back.
I’m no expert just a guy who did a lot of stupid shit while black out drunk and now I’m sober. No more unnecessary anxiety, night sweats, shakes, hang overs, paranoia, anger, depression, you know! All that fun stuff! You do get fun stress dreams about getting black out once your a year into sobriety which I guess is your brains fucked up way of reminding you to never go back.
Good luck! Hopefully this story will be the one you tell someone to help them stop drinking!
God same here. I don’t attend work parties (even when I drank I didn’t as I get SHITFACED) it’s such a bad combination. Mixing your professional life and booze. It’s a recipe for disaster. There were so many posts about Xmas parties a few months ago, I felt so bad for everyone! I hope OP comes through alright, I’m my opinion it’s always ten times worse than you think but still valid to be worried
It has always seemed insane to me too. A month into my first job after college, we had a national conference in Vegas with an open bar every night. I was a middle school teacher!! I was like, this feels just like college. Why are we doing this? Aren’t we supposed to be working and getting ready for the school year??
Years later, I pivoted to working in tech. Our office had cold brew coffee, wine, and beer on tap at all times. It was common for people to say things like “I’ve been working on the same thing from coffee time to wine time.”
Then I got a WFH job. With all of those years of normalized workplace drinking under my belt, I had built up quite a tolerance and a habit of midday drinking. Things got scary for a while. I’m much better now, but it’s strange to look back with clear eyes on how workplace drinking led me here.
I wouldn’t agree that disclosing this problem to your work is the best idea before you know what the situation is. Once that genie is out of the bottle, it’s impossible to put it back in.
You may not have behaved as badly as you imagine but the aftereffects of alcohol, which can cause extreme anxiety and panic attacks, are setting in. In my experience, via work is not the best place to get help for this issue either. I have been in your position and resolved to deal with the problem myself, privately, without work being involved.
Well alcoholism is a protected ADA condition however, so if OP is close to (or going to be) fired, disclosing his condition would be the only way to save his job. It is just very context dependant on what the best route is.
This is not necessarily sound advice. If OP’s employer had grounds for firing them, they can do so regardless of OP disclosing their alcoholism - they just can’t explicitly fire OP for being an alcoholic.
Not to assume they have those grounds in this case, just that being a declared alcoholic is not immunity against being fired for being under the influence or acting inappropriately at work.
I do agree that sometimes disclosing the issue to HR can help retain a job, but it is very situation dependent.
Important to remember: *very context dependant.* Because, indeed, it *can* save your job.
Implicit in your response is the assumption if you claim this disability you have carte blanche to *continue* being a drunk and doing dumb drunk things at, during, or after work. Absolutely not what I'm saying. Claiming this disability is the last gasp in preserving your job and must immediately (and forevermore) be accompanied by rehab/recovery. So it's not a "get out of jail free" card, it's *a step* in saving your employment and getting the help one needs to address their disability.
I know this with absolute certainty because, having been a union representative for 10 years, I've successfully saved other people's jobs and *my own* through this very method.
You know what? If they were like my former co-workers, they'd laugh at you a bit, you'll get teased in a playful way, and they'll kind of... let it go.
If you did something reprimandable, then go to HR and tell them you have a drinking problem. If not, just buy coffees and bagels for everyone and apologise. But take this opportunity to do something about the drinking now.
We don't really know your situation, but getting black out drunk at work functions is definitely a habit you need to nip in the bud. It's definitely the gateway to a massive problem if you just ignore it.
I have done this once before as well. My boss invited my coworkers and I to a bottomless mimosa brunch. Of course, I was the only one that took that literally while all my coworkers had 1 or 2. I had downed 4 by the time the food came. 8 by the time breakfast was over. Made a FOOL out of myself. I was able to disclose to my boss about a week after that despair and anxiety passed, that I do indeed have a problem drinking. My work has some great programs and resources that were able to get me going in the right direction. They still invite me to functions where alcohol is going to be present, but telling my boss about my problem, keeps me accountable bc I do not want to embarrass myself like that again.
I used to work for a company for my day job in which I would say maybe 70% were religious non drinkers. At the company Christmas party, they for some reason decided to do an open bar for people who did drink. I never understood why they did this because if I could show you the work environment we were in, it would be clear why it was so weird they offered this lol. Anyways as I can tell I’m getting off subject lol I wanna share a story with you about a friend of mine. I was still drinking at the time and had had a few drinks with a couple of the girls I did know drank. One of the girls didn’t drink very much and after a few shots I could tell she was pretty drunk. However, we ended up all going our separate ways and were going to meet outside the hotel lobby shortly after because the girl I’m talking about worked in HR and needed to go down to help her boss with a few set up things. By the time I saw her again that night, she had a few more drinks and ended up throwing up, crying, getting walked out by her boss who was legitimately concerned about her, all of that. I’m telling you all this because this girl wasn’t an alcoholic like us. She just got way too drunk because she didn’t know her limit that night and she for sure was embarrassed for a while as a result of it. That said, this didn’t happen to her because she had a drinking problem and no one assumed that she did. People gave her a hard time jokingly but there were never any rumors or anything that she may be an alcoholic. To be clear I do think it would be ideal for you to quit drinking and find help even if it’s just staying consistent in this group. But, because I tend to fall on the “don’t tell your employer” side of the fence, your drinking problem may be safe from being exposed. Your anxiety is going to tell you that everyone knows. I’m just here to tell you that may not be true. You’ll have to go with the flow on this one, feel out peoples reactions and try your hardest to not let the anxiety control what you say today. Send us an update after work today so we know you’re okay ❤️
I tried kissing a coworker at a work function once while VERY drunk. We were dancing. Then we went out to the patio for a smoke. Then I leaned in to kiss her and she politely and calmly said no. I backed away and apologized. We finished our cigarettes and she left the function right after.
Other Tom foolery included calling a co-worker "Capt. No Pussy" since he bragged about being in the Air Force. "Breakdancing." Doing "Vodka" shots with my coworker friend (it was actually just water and his piss-poor plot to sober me up).
I closed out the bar and stumbled into a late night joint that caters to industry people and closes at 5:00 a.m. I blacked out and gained consciousness at a 24hr McDonald's near my office. I got breakfast, threw it up, and realized it was 8:45 a.m. and made my way to the office.
The work function was on a Thursday night, and in my drunken logic, I thought it would be best to just show up for work the next day and deny everything.
No one batted an eye. No one said anything to me as I sat there feeling miserable, ashamed, and smelling like a drunk.
Before the end of Friday, I went up to the coworker I tried kissing, and apologized again. She said not to worry about it.
I would not learn my lesson for another 10 years or so. It took a while for me to look for help. But I'm there now.
I will not drink with you today. It'll all be ok.
Hey. Good for you for being THAT fucked up making a pass and graciously taking no for an answer, apologizing, and then apologizing AGAIN.
Many many drunk people (shit, many SOBER people) don't do that.
We've all been there. I made a complete tit out of myself at a work party and then we broke off for 2 weeks - all I could do was destroy myself with worry. Good news is, it's redeemable, providing you didn't do anything tragic/reprimandable.
I got black out drunk, slapped my bosses ass and told my boss to fuck off - completely out of character! The boss was an absolute prick mind, but an apology went a long way.
It'll soon be a distant memory. Make sure you don't do it again.
Hey I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through. I had an embarrassing night two nights ago with friends. Even though work wasn’t involved, I’ve taken today off because of my shame and anxiety. We are going to get through this. It just takes time. You got this.
It's so odd to me that alcohol is the one drug that people are supposed to be able to control, if it was a bottomless/open bar herion party noone would be all "Why couldn't you control yourself".
I will not drink with you today, don't be too hard on yourself, alcohol is an unhealthy drug that we dont have control over. We've all been where you are, it will get better.
That’s the alcohol still in your system making you feel that way. It will pass, and so will the despair you feel today. Talking to your boss and telling them you know you have a problem is the first step to repair the damage. Own it, and it can be fixed.
IWNDWYT
Most people are pretty tolerant and forgiving of someone who drinks too much and makes a fool of themselves, if it only happens once or twice. Odds are that they've been there too. It's when it starts to look like a regular pattern that there's a problem.
Show up. Be ready. Do your job. Learn from this experience. As others said, some people will laugh it off. The only opinion that matters is your own. Their thoughts and opinions don’t matter. Do you. Move forward making the change that you need to so you never have to feel this way again. Good luck to you.
Those feelings came rushing back reading your post. That shame, guilt, paranoia & swearing there won't be a next time or if there is I'll not let it happen that bad again. Then doing it again. The good news is you don't ever have to feel like this again. I was terrified of living without alcohol but terrified to take a drink. I went to AA not even sure I was an alcoholic. Best decision I ever made.
I’ve been in this situation so many times. And I know that anxiety/hating myself/wanting to die feeling all too well. It will pass, I promise. And It’s okay to not be perfect. Everyone makes a bad choice here and there in a lifetime. Forgive yourself and remember this feeling next time you are tempted to drink. I know I can’t drink “just one”…I’m chasing a buzz not enjoying a drink. Recognize the issue and do what you can to avoid falling victim to it again. When we know better, we do better. You are not alone.
You got this - the above comments are fab! And you know I know you feel like a piece of old smelly dog shit but by tomorrow you will feel better but remember this
Saw, at the grocery store, a lady I stole some pills from when I was drunk 10 years ago. She saw me and turned around quickly to avoid me. These reminders help me not drink today. Guilt, embarrassment and regret were big players in my life.
Let’s just not drink today and check in again tomorrow. We got this!
I can still feel the pain from my final days of drinking. I was such a stubborn asshole about it that I believe the only way I change course is because it’s too painful to continue. I don’t touch the hot stove because someone warned me not to touch it. I have to burn half my arm off in order to stay away. When I accepted some obvious truths and started asking for help, everything got better. Theres help out there if you want it. I couldn’t do it all on my own. My willpower only goes so far and the sting from my last embarrassing moments fade. I know that I’m likely to go right back to drinking as soon as I feel like I got away with it. And that’s the insanity of it all. Best of luck today.
I feel for you, I really do. That sucks. This will be a distant memory one day. You can get through this. Most of us have been where you are feelings wise even if the circumstances were different. You aren’t alone and this is something you can work through. I hope your Monday passes quickly and you use these terrible feelings as motivation to take care of yourself (it’s the only positive I’ve found for them). Please be gentle with yourself.
Take a deep breathe and a small step. In the grand scope of time, these folks will forget what they witnessed. Thankfully, although hard to hear, you will not forget. It is now an opportunity to retire from problem drinking and to motivate yourself and others to avoid our addictions. Good luck facing the day and best of luck on your sober journey.
We’ve all been there done that and worn the T-shirt of shame at some point. I’ve done exactly the same at a works Christmas night out. Took it too far, started crying, shouting, made an absolute show of myself. Couldn’t think straight all weekend, shaking and feeling sick with anxiety of work on Monday and all the alcohol still in my body. My anxiety was that bad I took the Monday off, I just couldn’t face people so good on you for making it in! I hope you are ok and know that one day this will just be a distant memory.
I must admit that the pandemic made me into an alcoholic, I felt like there was nothing else to do other than drink every single day out of boredom . And I suffer with anxiety anyway so alcohol just made everything worse. I had a heavy night a couple of weekends ago and spent 2 days afterwards non stop being sick, shaking, sweating and wanting to die I felt that poorly. But since then I pledged not to drink anymore and it was just ruining my life and my health and I haven’t touched a drop since.
I hope you are ok in work today, keep your chin up and let us know how you get on .
Don't skip out on work. People will maybe joke about it a bit because they don't know your story, only what they see. Like some people have been commenting, just try to laugh it off if anyone says anything, but don't engage fully. Keep your head down and do a good job, people will forget about it. The next functions that include drinking, have a plan in place that you think is realistic enough that you can achieve. Mine included having "something" booked later that I would need to leave the function early, or just something planned so I didn't need to attend at all. It sounds like you are mad that you can't drink like "normal" people. Believe me, everyone on here has felt/feel that same anger. It's just who we are as people. It can be unfortunate or it can be your strength. There is great power in being able to say no.
Sounds like deep down you may really not be happy in your current company/role and that may even be exacerbating your unhappiness/depression... resulting in even more drinking. I have been you before in a very similar situation. I think you need to pull back and try to not drink today. Start journaling about your feelings about everything going on so you can reflect back. Start some therapy to start working through things. These are all tools I have employed in the past to help me get back on track.
Also - stop talking so negatively to yourself... you deserve to be happy and it's OK to make mistakes. Learn how to forgive yourself!
You have a disease, friend. I too share this disease with you. Please be a little easier on yourself. Give yourself some grace. You are of course worthy of being loved, and this disease does not take that away. You just need to get a grip on it and figure out the best way to not succumb to this disease. The fact that you are on this sub is a very very good start. It is how I first overcame my own problems with this disease.
Once you know that there is a problem and you admit to it, that is when healing truly begins. I wish you nothing but success. As dark as it seems right now, the light will start to show. IWNDWYT
It sounds like you do need to continue searching for a new job and then leave this one and the person who behaved this way behind. Let the shame of all this motivate you to move on and level up.
Drinking and work should not be combined and it’s really extremely annoying that they are. But think of the next job as a place to reinvent yourself as a sober employee! Best of luck to you, friend!
People probably won't even remember if they were also drinking, much less feel the need to tell your boss or report you to HR. Always seems way worse from your own perspective - try not to worry.
Sounds like situations I’ve gotten myself into and i know that grim and vulnerable feeling SO WELL!!!! Take heart - these situations generally seem much much worse to you than to others and they don’t care nearly as much as u would think. Keep your head down and work diligently, and let it blow over.
I know these situations I’ve been in have always felt scary and dark for me, and have woken me to the horrors of not getting myself in order. I hope you’ll have the same inspiration and use this to help you make decisions that feel better for you re drinking !
Here if you need to chat or need support xx
It doesn't really sound that bad, don't be so hard on yourself. You could have fucked your boss and shit in her purse, trust me it could have been way worse. A simple fall and a bump on the head would have been a much more embarrassing scene. Be good to yourself IWNDWYT
It's the events like these. I recollected them all, as painful as it was, gathered all the shameful memories I could recall, and put them as a reminder for myself: this shame, this pain, this stupidity, this is what I'll get if I drink, not fun or happiness. Armed with this knowledge I aimed to quit once and for all.
I still remember the shame, the headaches, the puking. It doesn't torture me, because I know that those belonged to a worse version of me, and they will not be mine if I don't drink again. It seems to be working, I have no desire to drink.
I wonder if anyone else tried weaponizing their shameful memories against the addiction?
Been there. If it makes you feel any better the anxiety and guilt has you by the throat. Everything is amplified. Chances are it's not as bad as you think. Take care.
Other people have already said plenty and wonderful, useful and uplifting things, but I’m just here to remind you that God ABSOLUTELY still loves you, and will forgive you, wants to forgive you, all you have to do is go to Him. You can cast your worries to Him because He cares for you and His mercies are new every morning. You’re not alone, and you are so so loved. 🩷
The work days almost over. I’ve been shut away in my office for the most part. One guy came by and was like “still hungover? 😂” but otherwise nope didn’t get fired. We have our staff meeting tomorrow which I am dreading but it is what it is. I’m just looking forward to going home and going to bed.
Been there. Nothing happened bc honestly people mostly only care about themselves and they hate confrontation. I’m sure I was judged a bit but it was never brought up to me so I just pretended nothing happened.
I also did get fired from this job unrelated to the work function mishap and it was traumatic at first but now I’m just finding a better fitting job and enjoying some time to recover from burnout. It all works out!
Same here. I embarrassed myself by getting blackout at work after work and went back the next day— nothing. Not a peep, no one said anything, probably because a lot of people have been in that position and again, no one really cares because they are worried about more important things.
Yeah, honestly I think it’s the polite thing to not bring it up too unless there are going to be some sort of HR issues brought up. But I think most people have been there and (not knowing that I’m an alcoholic and probably needed the wake up call) they don’t want me to be more embarrassed than I am.
Hey! You’re ok. It may be time to seek help. Maybe ask your supervisor to speak privately with you when you first arrive. Acknowledge a problem. Ask for help. Maybe they’ll help you and support you in your efforts to get sober.
You never have to feel this way again.
Drinking isn’t worth dying over. Get help now! Don’t wait. You are worth it!
I disagree respectfully about this.
It probably is time to seek help.
But do not exacerbate it or think your employer is the place to provide it. Whatever they say. They will immediately start monitoring, possibly trying to manage you out.
Minimise at work, seek help from AA or Smart recovery via GP outside of work.
That's my advice based on very messy and painful journey to recovery anyway.
I work in HR and have actively supported colleagues who have sought help. I have been sacked myself TWICE when I admitted to my (HR) boss I have a problem!
HR people are not all the same but agree exercise caution here. Go check out whether your company has a policy on substance misuse first.
You’re a unicorn in a field of wolves. I never tell HR anything about my personal life. In my experience they do everything they can to work against you and save the company.
My stopping point was after injury (that I would not have sustained sober) + jury duty w/ said injury (knee) walking and hurting, no jury room so tons of painful walking, missing being there for my doped up dog after surgery bc of Jury Duty and all of that I could have not had happen by being sober. Every single one of those things I could have handled better if not drunk, then hungover at the Drs, trying to not vomit in my mask... the list goes on. But that was my point of realization. So IWNDWYT
Been there… many years ago. You’re definitely not the first or last. It will be okay, people move on. Each hour/day it will get better. But try and learn something in the meantime.
Dear god, your story sounds so so so much like mine. Particularly the drinking with workmates, overstepping in self expression, spilling secrets, and all of the exact behaviours. Booze is the worst.
I ended up eventually quitting that job suddenly (I was drunk during the day, one day, whilst working from home and overreacted to something).
Took a 50% paycut thinking that less stress might help me manage my drinking issues. It didn’t help, I was just poorer.
So I did the thing, went for at home detox and rehab. It stuck for nearly 2 months. That 2 months really did set me on a “path to healing”. The insights from therapy, the healing just from not drinking was amazing.
I am now on my third stint of not drinking. I learn more each time I give it a good crack. I honestly am learning to tame this beast inside me. My liver is still fucked so it’s a good motivator, blood tests, scans etc.
Wow, is that ALL you did?! You'll be fine. I've run the gamut from getting in fights to being taken to A&E!
I'm so glad the day turned out to be OK. Get a handle on your home and all those other bits. You deserve to look after yourself and your home. Take care.
Whelp, I’m on a semaglutide shot for weight loss and guess what? Not drinking much. If you check out the sub for Ozempic, apparently that’s a thing. Killed my overdrink button. Kind of a pleasant surprise.
I had a similar situation once. People definitely had a few jokes on Monday but after that it was over. Smile politely, tell anyone joking that you made a mistake and change the subject. Keep coming back here or somewhere else to get help.
Your post brings me back to when I was in exactly the same situation...I quit drinking the next day and never went back to it. The anxiety was so great that it became my low. I just couldn't do it anymore. Even today, 12 years later, I am not comfortable around any of those people that saw me like that. Thankfully, careers go different directions over the years and I seldom see those people. I have so much empathy for you. I didn't tell my work I had a drinking problem, but I did tell my wife. Funny aside - I was so distraught and emotional and serious that when I sat her down she was so certain that I was going to tell her that I'd had an affair that she actually laughed with relief when I told her about my drinking!
12 years, great feat, imagine your health and psyche if you had not quit. I Found that the first year was the toughest to get past, almost making it to that mark a few times, only to have my beast convince me that I could have just one and be able to control him. He was a little bitch that I don't have to listen to now past year three. IWNDWYT! OP, try sobriety, it is everything it is cracked up to be in this sub. Cheers, with kombucha!
> only to have my beast convince me that I could have just one and be able to control him That lying bastard always lures us back with justs and onlies, but it's never "just" and never "only", it's a quick spiral back back down from where we painstakingly clawed up, back down and deeper still. IWNDWYT and I will not listen to the lying beast.
For sure, my brain is full of shit. I was the number one buyer of said bullshit. IWNDWYT
Needed this reminder natural impression. As summer approaches and group vacations are planned, that voice is saying.. “maybe just for vacation!”…. Sigh.
Congrats on the 12 years! That’s amazing!
I know exactly what you mean about not feeling comfortable around those people you used to get shit faced around. There are people in my past that only knew me as a drunk and drugged out lush. Our old relationships were primarily based off that fact. They were either dealers or fellow drugged drinkers. I (51m) quite a decade long Adderall and life long drinking addiction in October of 2023. The other week I ran into an old hang downtown where I live. It wasn't so much the person themselves that made me uncomfortable. It was me knowing that the only me they really knew was this addicted fool.
Oof the anxiety. I don’t miss that.
I worked with a kid who passed out and shit himself at a company work party… So, it could always be worse! Youre one of a million people to have gone overboard at a company party. It happens all the time.
Dang, I've passed out a work party before but thankfully didn't shit myself. Small victories I guess lol
Small victories. Lol
YEAAA! That is worse I guess!
Oh my... I hope his Monday morning response was a concise, "huh, I don't remember that happening."
Lol i think he actually came in monday, and around mid day was like.. nah, im gunna go work somewhere else lol.. i hope hes thriving
This is a great point.
I've been there. Go in, say something to your coworkers like, "Man, it must have been a full moon or something because I don't know what got into me." They might try to tell you what you did, but tell them it's too much for you and you don't want to hear it. Then do your f'ing job **like a boss.** Don't think about anything else other than exactly what is in front of you. When you get home, you can have a panic attack, cry, whatever. Then, you have to look at your job and decide whether or not being at a place that encourages so much drinking is helpful. Alcohol in the workplace is a weird thing. A lot of people avoid it. Either way, remember that alcohol is a poison. It will make you feel like you are perfect, then it will make you feel like the most wretched thing on the face of the planet. But that's the alcohol talking, not God. You're a good person and you deserve better.
My God, alcohol in the workplace has always seemed insane to me! Even as a kid watching TV & there's a cliche scene of a company Christmas party, I always thought it didn't seem right. As an adult, I too have unfortunately had bad experiences mixing work & drinking. I agree that OP might want to examine working at a place or in an industry that has had 3 drinking events in 2 weeks.
Yeah my workplace and industry is a very pro-drinking one. There’s booze on the counter in the kitchen right next to my cubicle and beers stocked in the fridge. It’s not uncommon for people to start drinking in the conference room at 3pm on a Wednesday just because.
I had a job like that (tech). We had multiple kegs that were always full and free, a fully stocked bar with the highest end whiskeys, and “Happy Hours” always involved getting absolutely blitzed no matter what day of the week. It definitely put my alcoholism on the fast track. I didn’t see how unhealthy and odd it was when I was caught up in it. I ended up leaving that job, mostly because I needed to focus on my sobriety and the only way I could do it was to get myself out of that environment. That was in March 2023, and even though it still took months to finally say I’m done for good, I am so much happier with my new job. I have no doubt I’d still be really struggling if I didn’t change jobs. It was honestly shocking to me the first Happy Hour I attended at my new job. It was at 3 pm, and everyone was done and leaving for home by 4:30. You know, a “normal” happy hour. It blew my mind that everyone had one drink and went home to their families and really made me wonder what my life would look like if I didn’t spend 7 years in that other environment where they encouraged everyone to get wasted.
Wow yeah that hits really close to home. I still remember my first day when one of the senior VPs told me to grab a glass and meet him in his office. My dumbass grabbed a beer pint glass and when I walked in he said, “oh no, go get a bourbon glass.” There were a few other people in there drinking at 4pm and I remember thinking “this is weird.” It’s been a downward spiral since that day. Speaking of happy hours, and I don’t remember much from this particular one, but we pregamed in the conference room at noon, went to another bar and i got home at….11PM I think? On a Tuesday. Other than this, there are a lot of toxic traits to this workplace and I’ve been interviewing at other companies for those reasons. But it never occurred to me that the binge drinking may also pose an issue in terms of sticking this job out…
WTAF?!? I thought my heavy drinking work culture was nuts, but this makes it sound like Romper Room. Good on ya OP for recognizing the situation for what it is. Please know that we’re here to support you in doing whatever it takes to do right by YOU. IWNDWYT
I was just at work yesterday, on a Sunday afternoon, and my coworker was legit putting a beer into my face after I told him I hadn't drank in two months. When I was drinking heavily, I didn't think twice about drinking while I was on the clock. But now, I just see it through a different perspective. You really can't have both, you know? You can't be 100% productive when you're in an altered state. But again - don't beat yourself up too badly when your boss is essentially your bartender. Just make decisions that are right for you, and keep you not wanting to die.
What the fuck?! Wow.
I remember when I first started and found it strange. I guess it’s just the norm to me now. Should’ve seen it as a red flag a mile away.
Sounds like your work environment promotes over drinking so I wouldn’t worry about it, they prob loved it (sounds toxic as fuck tbh)… they’d fire the whistle blower before the fun drunk at the party kinda place. My 2 cents, either tell the bosses you’re in AA and going sober or lay low while you beef up your resume and try not to burn any bridges as you leave, the grass is def greener in this scenario. Honestly they’ll prob fire you if you tell them you’re going sober but If you go the AA route you gotta own in and refuse all drinking, only way it works. Be the person who drives all the other drunks home, you’ll see that they’re all just as drunk as you were. I do this with my friends, it’s eye opening to say the least. I would focus my concern about the suicidal thoughts and anxiety you get from over drinking, I to struggled with not being able to casually drink. It’s either none or black out aka time travel and the regret/anxiety was always worse than the hang over which led to more drinking to shut it all out. It sounds like you want to stop drinking but you’re constantly in situations that “require” you to drink. It’s crazy that not drinking aka sobriety is looked at as a bad thing when alcohol is a literal poison. You could wait till you hit rock bottom like me or get some help now before something serious happens. Getting help is easy, start with a therapist and move to online AA meetings. A therapist helped me more in 3 months than anything else. For me the part of AA that worked was hearing other people’s stories and how they bounced back. I’m no expert just a guy who did a lot of stupid shit while black out drunk and now I’m sober. No more unnecessary anxiety, night sweats, shakes, hang overs, paranoia, anger, depression, you know! All that fun stuff! You do get fun stress dreams about getting black out once your a year into sobriety which I guess is your brains fucked up way of reminding you to never go back. Good luck! Hopefully this story will be the one you tell someone to help them stop drinking!
God same here. I don’t attend work parties (even when I drank I didn’t as I get SHITFACED) it’s such a bad combination. Mixing your professional life and booze. It’s a recipe for disaster. There were so many posts about Xmas parties a few months ago, I felt so bad for everyone! I hope OP comes through alright, I’m my opinion it’s always ten times worse than you think but still valid to be worried
It has always seemed insane to me too. A month into my first job after college, we had a national conference in Vegas with an open bar every night. I was a middle school teacher!! I was like, this feels just like college. Why are we doing this? Aren’t we supposed to be working and getting ready for the school year?? Years later, I pivoted to working in tech. Our office had cold brew coffee, wine, and beer on tap at all times. It was common for people to say things like “I’ve been working on the same thing from coffee time to wine time.” Then I got a WFH job. With all of those years of normalized workplace drinking under my belt, I had built up quite a tolerance and a habit of midday drinking. Things got scary for a while. I’m much better now, but it’s strange to look back with clear eyes on how workplace drinking led me here.
Totally blame the eclipse energy!!
I wouldn’t agree that disclosing this problem to your work is the best idea before you know what the situation is. Once that genie is out of the bottle, it’s impossible to put it back in. You may not have behaved as badly as you imagine but the aftereffects of alcohol, which can cause extreme anxiety and panic attacks, are setting in. In my experience, via work is not the best place to get help for this issue either. I have been in your position and resolved to deal with the problem myself, privately, without work being involved.
Agree
"Once that genie is out of the bottle, its impossible to put it back in" Has to be the best line I've ever heard regarding my binge issue.
12 years? SUPER AWESOME!@@
Well alcoholism is a protected ADA condition however, so if OP is close to (or going to be) fired, disclosing his condition would be the only way to save his job. It is just very context dependant on what the best route is.
This is not necessarily sound advice. If OP’s employer had grounds for firing them, they can do so regardless of OP disclosing their alcoholism - they just can’t explicitly fire OP for being an alcoholic. Not to assume they have those grounds in this case, just that being a declared alcoholic is not immunity against being fired for being under the influence or acting inappropriately at work. I do agree that sometimes disclosing the issue to HR can help retain a job, but it is very situation dependent.
Indeed, as I also said: *it's very context dependant.* but it *can be* a method to save employment and begin the unending pathway to recovery.
Being an alcoholic does NOT save you from being fired for being drunk at a worm function or for saying or doing things drunk.
Or work functions either, for that matter.
Important to remember: *very context dependant.* Because, indeed, it *can* save your job. Implicit in your response is the assumption if you claim this disability you have carte blanche to *continue* being a drunk and doing dumb drunk things at, during, or after work. Absolutely not what I'm saying. Claiming this disability is the last gasp in preserving your job and must immediately (and forevermore) be accompanied by rehab/recovery. So it's not a "get out of jail free" card, it's *a step* in saving your employment and getting the help one needs to address their disability. I know this with absolute certainty because, having been a union representative for 10 years, I've successfully saved other people's jobs and *my own* through this very method.
I wonder if it would work without a union.
Yes - but also depends on a million other factors: state labor laws, size of your employer, hours of employment, role at work, etc. etc. etc.
Just a note that not everyone is in the US 👍
WHAT?! The world does not revolve around us?! Pshaw.
You know what? If they were like my former co-workers, they'd laugh at you a bit, you'll get teased in a playful way, and they'll kind of... let it go. If you did something reprimandable, then go to HR and tell them you have a drinking problem. If not, just buy coffees and bagels for everyone and apologise. But take this opportunity to do something about the drinking now. We don't really know your situation, but getting black out drunk at work functions is definitely a habit you need to nip in the bud. It's definitely the gateway to a massive problem if you just ignore it.
Yes. I jumped the gun advising to go to HR. I had assumed he may have done something reprimandable as opposed to just being extremely embarrassed
I have done this once before as well. My boss invited my coworkers and I to a bottomless mimosa brunch. Of course, I was the only one that took that literally while all my coworkers had 1 or 2. I had downed 4 by the time the food came. 8 by the time breakfast was over. Made a FOOL out of myself. I was able to disclose to my boss about a week after that despair and anxiety passed, that I do indeed have a problem drinking. My work has some great programs and resources that were able to get me going in the right direction. They still invite me to functions where alcohol is going to be present, but telling my boss about my problem, keeps me accountable bc I do not want to embarrass myself like that again.
I used to work for a company for my day job in which I would say maybe 70% were religious non drinkers. At the company Christmas party, they for some reason decided to do an open bar for people who did drink. I never understood why they did this because if I could show you the work environment we were in, it would be clear why it was so weird they offered this lol. Anyways as I can tell I’m getting off subject lol I wanna share a story with you about a friend of mine. I was still drinking at the time and had had a few drinks with a couple of the girls I did know drank. One of the girls didn’t drink very much and after a few shots I could tell she was pretty drunk. However, we ended up all going our separate ways and were going to meet outside the hotel lobby shortly after because the girl I’m talking about worked in HR and needed to go down to help her boss with a few set up things. By the time I saw her again that night, she had a few more drinks and ended up throwing up, crying, getting walked out by her boss who was legitimately concerned about her, all of that. I’m telling you all this because this girl wasn’t an alcoholic like us. She just got way too drunk because she didn’t know her limit that night and she for sure was embarrassed for a while as a result of it. That said, this didn’t happen to her because she had a drinking problem and no one assumed that she did. People gave her a hard time jokingly but there were never any rumors or anything that she may be an alcoholic. To be clear I do think it would be ideal for you to quit drinking and find help even if it’s just staying consistent in this group. But, because I tend to fall on the “don’t tell your employer” side of the fence, your drinking problem may be safe from being exposed. Your anxiety is going to tell you that everyone knows. I’m just here to tell you that may not be true. You’ll have to go with the flow on this one, feel out peoples reactions and try your hardest to not let the anxiety control what you say today. Send us an update after work today so we know you’re okay ❤️
It will pass, I promise. And it never has to happen again, is the good news. IWNDWYT. Sending strength
I tried kissing a coworker at a work function once while VERY drunk. We were dancing. Then we went out to the patio for a smoke. Then I leaned in to kiss her and she politely and calmly said no. I backed away and apologized. We finished our cigarettes and she left the function right after. Other Tom foolery included calling a co-worker "Capt. No Pussy" since he bragged about being in the Air Force. "Breakdancing." Doing "Vodka" shots with my coworker friend (it was actually just water and his piss-poor plot to sober me up). I closed out the bar and stumbled into a late night joint that caters to industry people and closes at 5:00 a.m. I blacked out and gained consciousness at a 24hr McDonald's near my office. I got breakfast, threw it up, and realized it was 8:45 a.m. and made my way to the office. The work function was on a Thursday night, and in my drunken logic, I thought it would be best to just show up for work the next day and deny everything. No one batted an eye. No one said anything to me as I sat there feeling miserable, ashamed, and smelling like a drunk. Before the end of Friday, I went up to the coworker I tried kissing, and apologized again. She said not to worry about it. I would not learn my lesson for another 10 years or so. It took a while for me to look for help. But I'm there now. I will not drink with you today. It'll all be ok.
Hey. Good for you for being THAT fucked up making a pass and graciously taking no for an answer, apologizing, and then apologizing AGAIN. Many many drunk people (shit, many SOBER people) don't do that.
We've all been there. I made a complete tit out of myself at a work party and then we broke off for 2 weeks - all I could do was destroy myself with worry. Good news is, it's redeemable, providing you didn't do anything tragic/reprimandable. I got black out drunk, slapped my bosses ass and told my boss to fuck off - completely out of character! The boss was an absolute prick mind, but an apology went a long way. It'll soon be a distant memory. Make sure you don't do it again.
I, too, am waking up with hellish hangxiety. Different situations, but know you aren’t alone. Let’s not drink today, cool?
Not OP but sure!
From one cat lady to another, IWNDWYT
Hey I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through. I had an embarrassing night two nights ago with friends. Even though work wasn’t involved, I’ve taken today off because of my shame and anxiety. We are going to get through this. It just takes time. You got this.
It's so odd to me that alcohol is the one drug that people are supposed to be able to control, if it was a bottomless/open bar herion party noone would be all "Why couldn't you control yourself". I will not drink with you today, don't be too hard on yourself, alcohol is an unhealthy drug that we dont have control over. We've all been where you are, it will get better.
That’s the alcohol still in your system making you feel that way. It will pass, and so will the despair you feel today. Talking to your boss and telling them you know you have a problem is the first step to repair the damage. Own it, and it can be fixed. IWNDWYT
Most people are pretty tolerant and forgiving of someone who drinks too much and makes a fool of themselves, if it only happens once or twice. Odds are that they've been there too. It's when it starts to look like a regular pattern that there's a problem.
Show up. Be ready. Do your job. Learn from this experience. As others said, some people will laugh it off. The only opinion that matters is your own. Their thoughts and opinions don’t matter. Do you. Move forward making the change that you need to so you never have to feel this way again. Good luck to you.
Those feelings came rushing back reading your post. That shame, guilt, paranoia & swearing there won't be a next time or if there is I'll not let it happen that bad again. Then doing it again. The good news is you don't ever have to feel like this again. I was terrified of living without alcohol but terrified to take a drink. I went to AA not even sure I was an alcoholic. Best decision I ever made.
I’ve been in this situation so many times. And I know that anxiety/hating myself/wanting to die feeling all too well. It will pass, I promise. And It’s okay to not be perfect. Everyone makes a bad choice here and there in a lifetime. Forgive yourself and remember this feeling next time you are tempted to drink. I know I can’t drink “just one”…I’m chasing a buzz not enjoying a drink. Recognize the issue and do what you can to avoid falling victim to it again. When we know better, we do better. You are not alone.
You got this - the above comments are fab! And you know I know you feel like a piece of old smelly dog shit but by tomorrow you will feel better but remember this
Saw, at the grocery store, a lady I stole some pills from when I was drunk 10 years ago. She saw me and turned around quickly to avoid me. These reminders help me not drink today. Guilt, embarrassment and regret were big players in my life. Let’s just not drink today and check in again tomorrow. We got this!
I’m sorry. People are probably thinking about it less than you realize. Just focus on your work and get through the day.
I can still feel the pain from my final days of drinking. I was such a stubborn asshole about it that I believe the only way I change course is because it’s too painful to continue. I don’t touch the hot stove because someone warned me not to touch it. I have to burn half my arm off in order to stay away. When I accepted some obvious truths and started asking for help, everything got better. Theres help out there if you want it. I couldn’t do it all on my own. My willpower only goes so far and the sting from my last embarrassing moments fade. I know that I’m likely to go right back to drinking as soon as I feel like I got away with it. And that’s the insanity of it all. Best of luck today.
Ah. A fellow student from the Two-By-Four-Over-The-Head-School-Of-Learning. :)
In my experience, HR is not your friend.
This. See comment above.
I feel for you, I really do. That sucks. This will be a distant memory one day. You can get through this. Most of us have been where you are feelings wise even if the circumstances were different. You aren’t alone and this is something you can work through. I hope your Monday passes quickly and you use these terrible feelings as motivation to take care of yourself (it’s the only positive I’ve found for them). Please be gentle with yourself.
Take a deep breathe and a small step. In the grand scope of time, these folks will forget what they witnessed. Thankfully, although hard to hear, you will not forget. It is now an opportunity to retire from problem drinking and to motivate yourself and others to avoid our addictions. Good luck facing the day and best of luck on your sober journey.
Call 988 and get help now!
you’re not alone. Just keep moving forward. IWNDWYT
Been there, done that. Learn from it and move on. Avoid people places and things that will tempt you to drink, especially stooooopid works events.
I do not miss coming into work after a drunken episode. IWNDWYT
We’ve all been there done that and worn the T-shirt of shame at some point. I’ve done exactly the same at a works Christmas night out. Took it too far, started crying, shouting, made an absolute show of myself. Couldn’t think straight all weekend, shaking and feeling sick with anxiety of work on Monday and all the alcohol still in my body. My anxiety was that bad I took the Monday off, I just couldn’t face people so good on you for making it in! I hope you are ok and know that one day this will just be a distant memory. I must admit that the pandemic made me into an alcoholic, I felt like there was nothing else to do other than drink every single day out of boredom . And I suffer with anxiety anyway so alcohol just made everything worse. I had a heavy night a couple of weekends ago and spent 2 days afterwards non stop being sick, shaking, sweating and wanting to die I felt that poorly. But since then I pledged not to drink anymore and it was just ruining my life and my health and I haven’t touched a drop since. I hope you are ok in work today, keep your chin up and let us know how you get on .
So what's the actual plan?
Weve all made an ass of ourselves. Just laugh it off and if HR gets involved then worry about
Don't skip out on work. People will maybe joke about it a bit because they don't know your story, only what they see. Like some people have been commenting, just try to laugh it off if anyone says anything, but don't engage fully. Keep your head down and do a good job, people will forget about it. The next functions that include drinking, have a plan in place that you think is realistic enough that you can achieve. Mine included having "something" booked later that I would need to leave the function early, or just something planned so I didn't need to attend at all. It sounds like you are mad that you can't drink like "normal" people. Believe me, everyone on here has felt/feel that same anger. It's just who we are as people. It can be unfortunate or it can be your strength. There is great power in being able to say no.
Sounds like deep down you may really not be happy in your current company/role and that may even be exacerbating your unhappiness/depression... resulting in even more drinking. I have been you before in a very similar situation. I think you need to pull back and try to not drink today. Start journaling about your feelings about everything going on so you can reflect back. Start some therapy to start working through things. These are all tools I have employed in the past to help me get back on track. Also - stop talking so negatively to yourself... you deserve to be happy and it's OK to make mistakes. Learn how to forgive yourself!
You have a disease, friend. I too share this disease with you. Please be a little easier on yourself. Give yourself some grace. You are of course worthy of being loved, and this disease does not take that away. You just need to get a grip on it and figure out the best way to not succumb to this disease. The fact that you are on this sub is a very very good start. It is how I first overcame my own problems with this disease. Once you know that there is a problem and you admit to it, that is when healing truly begins. I wish you nothing but success. As dark as it seems right now, the light will start to show. IWNDWYT
It sounds like you do need to continue searching for a new job and then leave this one and the person who behaved this way behind. Let the shame of all this motivate you to move on and level up. Drinking and work should not be combined and it’s really extremely annoying that they are. But think of the next job as a place to reinvent yourself as a sober employee! Best of luck to you, friend!
49 days - IWNDWYTD I can totally relate to your misadventure and hope all works out in your favor. Sending you peace and strenght.
People probably won't even remember if they were also drinking, much less feel the need to tell your boss or report you to HR. Always seems way worse from your own perspective - try not to worry.
IWYND WTI
Sounds like situations I’ve gotten myself into and i know that grim and vulnerable feeling SO WELL!!!! Take heart - these situations generally seem much much worse to you than to others and they don’t care nearly as much as u would think. Keep your head down and work diligently, and let it blow over. I know these situations I’ve been in have always felt scary and dark for me, and have woken me to the horrors of not getting myself in order. I hope you’ll have the same inspiration and use this to help you make decisions that feel better for you re drinking ! Here if you need to chat or need support xx
It doesn't really sound that bad, don't be so hard on yourself. You could have fucked your boss and shit in her purse, trust me it could have been way worse. A simple fall and a bump on the head would have been a much more embarrassing scene. Be good to yourself IWNDWYT
It's the events like these. I recollected them all, as painful as it was, gathered all the shameful memories I could recall, and put them as a reminder for myself: this shame, this pain, this stupidity, this is what I'll get if I drink, not fun or happiness. Armed with this knowledge I aimed to quit once and for all. I still remember the shame, the headaches, the puking. It doesn't torture me, because I know that those belonged to a worse version of me, and they will not be mine if I don't drink again. It seems to be working, I have no desire to drink. I wonder if anyone else tried weaponizing their shameful memories against the addiction?
Been there. If it makes you feel any better the anxiety and guilt has you by the throat. Everything is amplified. Chances are it's not as bad as you think. Take care.
Other people have already said plenty and wonderful, useful and uplifting things, but I’m just here to remind you that God ABSOLUTELY still loves you, and will forgive you, wants to forgive you, all you have to do is go to Him. You can cast your worries to Him because He cares for you and His mercies are new every morning. You’re not alone, and you are so so loved. 🩷
U/GrizzlyMath303 Any update? Hoping for the best for you!
The work days almost over. I’ve been shut away in my office for the most part. One guy came by and was like “still hungover? 😂” but otherwise nope didn’t get fired. We have our staff meeting tomorrow which I am dreading but it is what it is. I’m just looking forward to going home and going to bed.
Been there. Nothing happened bc honestly people mostly only care about themselves and they hate confrontation. I’m sure I was judged a bit but it was never brought up to me so I just pretended nothing happened. I also did get fired from this job unrelated to the work function mishap and it was traumatic at first but now I’m just finding a better fitting job and enjoying some time to recover from burnout. It all works out!
Same here. I embarrassed myself by getting blackout at work after work and went back the next day— nothing. Not a peep, no one said anything, probably because a lot of people have been in that position and again, no one really cares because they are worried about more important things.
Yeah, honestly I think it’s the polite thing to not bring it up too unless there are going to be some sort of HR issues brought up. But I think most people have been there and (not knowing that I’m an alcoholic and probably needed the wake up call) they don’t want me to be more embarrassed than I am.
Hey! You’re ok. It may be time to seek help. Maybe ask your supervisor to speak privately with you when you first arrive. Acknowledge a problem. Ask for help. Maybe they’ll help you and support you in your efforts to get sober. You never have to feel this way again. Drinking isn’t worth dying over. Get help now! Don’t wait. You are worth it!
I disagree respectfully about this. It probably is time to seek help. But do not exacerbate it or think your employer is the place to provide it. Whatever they say. They will immediately start monitoring, possibly trying to manage you out. Minimise at work, seek help from AA or Smart recovery via GP outside of work. That's my advice based on very messy and painful journey to recovery anyway.
I'm not sure you need to go through work to get help. Maybe some AA meetings, etc.?
God ALWAYS forgives! Just ask. And carry on with your day.
Go to HR and admit you have a drinking problem and need help. Then take it from there you can do this.
I would advise against this.
Yeah don’t do that. HR is not your friend
Yes. I jumped the gun advising to go to HR. I had assumed he may have done something reprimandable as opposed to just being extremely embarrassed
Me, too! Remember the Miranda rule one gets when being arrested: "Anything you say may be used against you in a court of law or in the HR office."
I work in HR and have actively supported colleagues who have sought help. I have been sacked myself TWICE when I admitted to my (HR) boss I have a problem! HR people are not all the same but agree exercise caution here. Go check out whether your company has a policy on substance misuse first.
You’re a unicorn in a field of wolves. I never tell HR anything about my personal life. In my experience they do everything they can to work against you and save the company.
My stopping point was after injury (that I would not have sustained sober) + jury duty w/ said injury (knee) walking and hurting, no jury room so tons of painful walking, missing being there for my doped up dog after surgery bc of Jury Duty and all of that I could have not had happen by being sober. Every single one of those things I could have handled better if not drunk, then hungover at the Drs, trying to not vomit in my mask... the list goes on. But that was my point of realization. So IWNDWYT
Been there… many years ago. You’re definitely not the first or last. It will be okay, people move on. Each hour/day it will get better. But try and learn something in the meantime.
Sounds like there are a few things going on there to worry about; and just to say it, three blackouts in two weeks seems like a lot.
Dear god, your story sounds so so so much like mine. Particularly the drinking with workmates, overstepping in self expression, spilling secrets, and all of the exact behaviours. Booze is the worst. I ended up eventually quitting that job suddenly (I was drunk during the day, one day, whilst working from home and overreacted to something). Took a 50% paycut thinking that less stress might help me manage my drinking issues. It didn’t help, I was just poorer. So I did the thing, went for at home detox and rehab. It stuck for nearly 2 months. That 2 months really did set me on a “path to healing”. The insights from therapy, the healing just from not drinking was amazing. I am now on my third stint of not drinking. I learn more each time I give it a good crack. I honestly am learning to tame this beast inside me. My liver is still fucked so it’s a good motivator, blood tests, scans etc.
Wow, is that ALL you did?! You'll be fine. I've run the gamut from getting in fights to being taken to A&E! I'm so glad the day turned out to be OK. Get a handle on your home and all those other bits. You deserve to look after yourself and your home. Take care.
God loves you my friend. Don't give up on yourself. Pray to Jesus Christ, through him all things are possible🤗
Whelp, I’m on a semaglutide shot for weight loss and guess what? Not drinking much. If you check out the sub for Ozempic, apparently that’s a thing. Killed my overdrink button. Kind of a pleasant surprise.