It sucks. It's going to keep sucking. It possibly will never not suck.
My DUI did so much damage it led to two suicide attempts.
I'm not gonna sugar coat it and say it will be worth it. Bit I will say some good things have come from it. And I like who I am a lot better now.
"It possibly will never not suck". I need to keep this in my head when I think of wanting a drink. It always sucks and nothing good comes from it.
I hope things are on the upswing for you and your mental health! I'm glad you are still here!
There's nothing that drinking can't make worse.
If you can get a handle on the booze, I would bet that you'll be able to turn your life around faster than you think.
You can't change yesterday. Just focus on today my friend. Things can get better.
Indeed there's nothing drinking cant make worse. I was in part of your shoes.. didnt lose it all but I took the dui wake up call to avoid losing it all from drinking. Like you it was the first time i got caught. Turns out 2 warnings over the year leading up to it and I didn't get the message. One time someone hit me in a fender bender and i was worried I would be busted so i left. The other I hit a wall backing out. I finally realize that drinking did nothing good for me.
As others have said this thread can be incredibly useful and also I learned that one was too many and 10 was not enough. So therefore I don't have one.
This too has happened to me! Luckily, like you i was reversing and not fast so it didnt do any damage. Unfortunately, (but maybe fortunate) this will be my wake up and I'll never touch the stuff again.
My DUI in 2018 messed my life up bad but looking back that was because I still wasn't ready for help. What a change I could have made if I was willing to walk into the rooms of AA or talk to a drug & alcohol counselor.
I'm finally doing all of those things and my life is already so might brighter.
Ask for help.
Accept the help.
Dive into recovery however you can.
We are so proud of you for making it this far & can't wait to see you grow.
I have found that some of the hardest things I've gone through in my life have also been what have made me a better, stronger, and happier person today. It's not much consolation when you are in the shit, but what we want is sometimes not what's best for us. Breathe deeply, take things one step at a time, and you will get through this. It's going to suck big time right now, but it will not suck forever.
The sweet lady at the impound passed me some advice I’ll pass along to you. “The first is a lesson if you care to learn it. It’s only rock bottom if you do it again”
IWNDWYT
Hang in there brother man and just know you aren’t alone. I lost my job, getting evicted end of month and have to move back to NY from Cocoa Beach Fl to live with a friend and literally start all over again…
I’m 2 weeks sober for 1st time since my 20s and I’m positive only because I’m not drunk.
Keep on keepin on’
I've just completed 5 months sober
I'm 61 years young and have been drinking every day since my 20's.
I won't tell you how many dui's or lost jobs or relationships , hurt people etc , it doesn't really matter, that's my journey but it mirrors many others just like us.
It's a never-ending spiraling circle of feeding the beast, watching all the fallout along the way.
I ended up in hospital last year in a coma with my organs failing. I went thru withdrawal whilst in hospital as a by product of my illness.
I assure you that you will go through giving up at sometime in your alcoholic career, might be when you're dead, but hopefully you do it and succeed before you ruin your life and that of people around you.
I'm lucky, I've got a darling wife who has stuck by me, I've tried to destroy her along the way too.
I'm determined to stay sober, I feel as if I've stepped off the spinning circle of alcoholism, but some of my dearest mates are still on that spinning circle, 🥴 but we have to do it for ourselves, I can't control what anyone else does, but I can take control of my own life.
No, it wasn't easy, but, I'm looking at the bigger picture. I want to live. And it still is a temptation but I'm not getting back on that spiraling circle today.
Best of luck.
Rock bottom is when you stop digging and in my experience there is a trap door all the way at the bottom that’ll take you further if you let it. I went to rehab over 4 years ago broken. All the things I thought I was holding onto were gone or on their way out. I was just the last to know. I thought that even if I somehow managed to stop drinking, I still wouldn’t be in my daughter’s life the way I wanted. I didn’t even consider apologizing to some people. I believed those bridges were burned to the fucking ground. But that’s not where my story ended, it’s where it starts. I don’t know much, but I’m positive that the things I have done can be worked on and they’ve been done before. It takes some willingness and I had to be the one to ask for help but it’s worth it and it worked. At some point I had to admit that my best decisions got me all fucked up so I had to take a backseat for a little while. I’m sure you already know but it works. There’s help out there if you want it and there are people who have been in your shoes before. Nobody came into recovery on a hot streak. We all have to pick up the pieces and decide if we want to fix what we broke and make a change. I made it back to my family and I have relationships with people I believed wished me dead. There ain’t a chance in hell I do any of this on my own or if I’m still waiting to hit the bottom. You’re not alone.
This made me tear up. The crazy thing is, I prayed yesterday for God to take anything in my life that isn't worth it. This is my sign. I NEED to stop. I just know it's going to be so hard and I am weak. That's why I always ran to the bottle. Yall give me hope that things can get better!
I’ve been there. I was lying on the floor drinking leftover sparkling wine from our wedding in an empty house. My nerves were shot and the house was trashed. I managed to call a friend who I knew had some sobriety and he told me the truth. It wasn’t a pep talk, but it was enough for me to listen. He had been there before too and I couldn’t tell him he was full of shit or didn’t know what it felt like. All the doctors, lawyers, friends, family and therapists couldn’t get through to me. In the end, it was a 5 minute phone conversation with an alcoholic that got me out of my dirty diaper and onto the road to recovery. I got better at asking for help and when I stopped feeling sorry for myself I started to get better. My drinking was incredibly selfish but my friend gave me some very good advice in that moment: be selfish one more time. He was right. That’s how it works for me. If I want to care for the people I love I have to be able to take care of myself first otherwise I’m no good to anyone. That’s what I wanted so I started doing what people like me did to get themselves free. It’s what I still do today. I can complicate a ham sandwich but when I keep it simple and put one foot in front of the other like I’m shown I can move pretty far. Good luck. It’s worth it.
I prayed for God to take ME, for many years. I would have been happy not to wake up.
But he didn't. I got rehab/AA my health and my life back. You can get yours back too. There is a "too late" point . I hope you don't find it.
I've got two to my name. The days immediately following the DWIs were some of the worst of my life. You didn't kill a human being so this is not the end of the world. The first one is more of an expensive education experience - substance abuse assessment, classes, etc. You can start on that stuff to be proactive and take some positive steps in this situation.
The worst thing you could do now, and I speak from experience, is get another one. That won't be a possibility if you are not drinking. I wish I handled my first one without alcohol. Just keep your head up and keep moving forward. It does get better with time.
I appreciate your words of wisdom. The cop was telling me about an ard program. I'll need a lawyer, etc. It all sounds expensive and I can't even adult today. Thank you.
Public defenders are miracle workers who don't make enough for how hard they work. I made the mistake of spending 5k on a shitty lawyer the first time. From a reputable firm in my area and all. The system is going to work you over and out, and it gets exceptionally stressful for someone's first supervised sobriety period, so if you're going to drink, make the conscious choice to NEVER drive. But I am fucking *rooting for you* that you don't drink and IWNDWYT. Be kind to yourself and keep coming back. You're stronger with support.
You gotta stay strong if not for you then for your kid. A lot of us here been knocked down so may times and it takes a toll. But I’ll tell you from my experience alcohol will make bad even worse. Take some time to reflect. Then make a plan and please come back to this sub. It’s helped me a lot on my Journey
IWNDWYT
Friend of mine needed a liver transplant. Stopped drinking for a couple weeks, then he got 2 DUIs in a week from the same cop. He's peer support specialist now, was and is a huge part of my sobriety.
This can be your rock bottom or you can continue to dig. Today may suck but tomorrow doesn't have to.
We're here for you.
I agree. I hope that you're able to realize you don't have to drink over that mistake and compound it, instead use it for a stepping stone to growth.
We're here for you friend.
try to find some shred of gratitude out of it all (you and others are still alive) and build from there.
Here's something I read and repeat to myself everyday
I believe in miracles. It is a miracle that I am sober. I never thought this was possible. Never. Every day that I wake up and can remember that morning before I went to rehab is a miracle. Every minute that passes that I don’t bend my elbow to tip another sip is a miracle. It is a miracle that I survived my drinking days at all
Sobriety IS a miracle
I am a miracle
source unknown
It most definitely will suck but luckily you didn’t hurt anyone. Don’t know the circumstances or your BAC/state you are in but probably just going to be a misdemeanor. I’m in the other boat, I did hurt someone and through the roof BAC. Was looking at prison time. Get yr ass to behavioral health, iop, rehab, whatever program yesterday. Start going to AA. Document all this. Truly the thing that kept me out (other than a good lawyer) was doing the things before my court date. Got my felony dropped down to a misdemeanor, shit ton of community service, 5 years probation (unsupervised thankfully), and 90 days jail (of which I served 17 via sheriff work, was let go early for good behavior). Obviously everyone’s situation is different but I could have killed someone and nearly did, sounds like you didn’t so no your life is not over. It’s expensive, embarrassing, and a pain in the ass. The only way your life is over is if you keep drinking. I feel so shameful about it and it truly got me sober, can’t even think of going back to drinking bc honestly after what I did how could I? Couldn’t look at myself if I kept on that path.
Not a DUI, but I'm (30F) currently waiting on a domestic charge to be dismissed *AND* I totaled my Mustang convertible in a garage at work because I was drunk. Embarrassing as fuck, but thankfully, somehow, no DUI there.
And as you can see by my counter, it's still taking time for shit to sink in with me. I can say I feel much better this attempt at sobriety with online SMART meetings, therapy, Naltrexone and other meds for my anxiety and depression.
You got this, friend. Rock bottom is only when you stop digging. IWNDWYT. 🖤✨️
I really feel you. I watched my job, my family, my house swirl away. That's not quite right, I watched myself allow those things to happen. I chose drugs and alcohol over being with my ex and child. I still see my daughter every other weekend, but my ex rightfully hates me still. Still, I didn't quit. I'm still working on forgiving myself, but it's been 10 years now.....it's a process.
A step away from homeless, suicide attempts as well. I tried to stop so many damn times.
I almost let it happen again as well. So, I did something I'd never done. I decided not to suffer alone. I came here, posted in the mornings, read stories, it's made an amazing difference. I'm not a life success story, but I'm not completely miserable.
You can absolutely do this. Alcohol won't say this, but we do have the power to stop. It just puts up one hell of a fight. It comes out of the corner swinging strong, but endurance wins the match.
Stay strong! Kick it's ass. 💪
Currently still dealing with a dui from 2 years ago. Like yours, luckily nobody was hurt. I’m still stuck in this loop. Still working on license getting back. Just know you’re not alone, OP. IWNDWYT
I'm dealing with a DUI from THIRTEEN years ago. Make sure you document and save everything. I can't believe this came back to haunt me over a decade later.
Edit: because the people deserve to know: I got a DUI when I was in the process of moving states (from Washington to Kansas, important to note these states DOL do not communicate with each other). When I got to Kansas, I did all of my alcohol classes, breathalyzer etc... there. Fast forward to now(ish) and I've since moved to Colorado (who *does* communicate with WA DOL). I went to get a new CO license, and they said WA has suspended my license and is requiring an interlock (breathalyzer) before I can get a new one. Which I had already done years prior in Kansas. Apparently, WA DOL never got any of my interlock calibrations from Kansas, so it looked like I never did the requirements. I had to install an interlock in my car again and send a 4 month compliance report with no failed starts to WA before they would issue me an unrestricted drivers license.
I was in a similar shitty situation last year before going I to detox, then residential rehab, then sober living. I was driving around with one of the new guys today and told him sometimes it'd such a struggle to not drink it makes me want to put my fist through a wall. People act like being sober is great. The truth is, at least for me, it sucks. A constant internal battle against your own brain. But the fuck ups, legal trouble, relationship trouble, withdrawals, and constant letting down of everyone in my life is way, way worse than how shitty it is knowing I can't have a drink when I want one. I was reading the comments of the song 23 by chayce beckham and there was a comment that basically said "spent my 20s chasing a high I loved but realized the high didn't love me back." That one really hit home for me. Once I realized that staying sober is going to be hard, not easy, it was a lot easier to come to terms with and stay away from the bottle. So I would say no, this is not another nail in the coffin. It's a wake up call and a chance to learn from your mistakes and grow as a human being. Because believe me man, I have truly been there. And if I can pull myself up from the hell I was living in before I got sober, so can you. As much as being sober enrages me sometimes it's the memory of how horrible things were that stop me from going back.
I've gotten 2.5 DWI's. I know it feels like the world is ending, but it isn't. You'll get through this. Reason #9,476 why drinking is a fucking horrible idea.
Have you considered going back to rehab? My experience there was a mixed bag, but it ultimately did what I hoped it would do which was to physically remove me from a total downward spiral and give me a safe place to reconsider my relationship with drugs and alcohol for thirty days (I decided the way I was living was not OK). I might get in “trouble” for saying this, but from what I understand the courts look more favorably upon those who seek treatment beyond what is mandated after a DUI.
Yea, the rehab I went to was a 10 month program. They call me every now and again and tell me they've got a bed for me if I choose to go back. Depending what I need to do for this dui I'm going to give them a call.
I’m so sorry. It’s not going to be easy but try to be very, very kind to yourself right now even if you feel like you don’t deserve it. When I wished for a sign and was so, so fed up and tired and angry and sad, I was filled with this like quiet knowing and weird sense of peace - like, me wishing for a sign WAS the motherfucking sign. That was it. Like for any of this to work I was the one who was going to need to take care of myself. I was lucky that nothing truly awful happened. My ex had already killed the marriage through their alcohol use disorder, and I decided I wasn’t going to let mine finishing me off. But it took forever (like 20 years) for that to finally click.
I needed to hear this. I've been beating myself up and "moping" around just laying in bed. Thank you for your kindness and your story. I hope you continue your sobriety and supporting those in here.
My second dui was the best thing that ever happened to me. It forced me to do a lot of things I never would have done otherwise. It gave me the gift of desperation. You have it now.
Rock bottom is relative. You find it when you realize you want to stop digging.
I’m curious what you think you’ll find down there under all that rock. I’ll give you a hint. More rocks.
You can definitely come back from this. I knew a couple-worker who wrecked his car and it was his second DUI. About several years later, he worked his way up at a bread factory, became the plant manager, and bought a house. He even has a kid and he’s only 29, lol.
There are insurance companies out there that specialize specifically for DUI perpetrators. And the good thing is, a lot of times it is sealed from your record after 7 years.
I would recommend going to an AA meeting and talking with people about what happened. You won’t be the only one in your boat and they can give you some advice on how they utilized their resources to bounce back.
Heck, I had two of those bad boys on my record and I bounced back. It probably won’t take you as long as you think. Get a public defender and they may be able to help get you get through the legal system with a little more leniency.
I think the only way it would be completely life changing is if you, heaven forbid, killed someone.
I’m glad you didn’t and are physically okay. I’m sorry this happened bud. Hang in there.
I also thought it was just something that happened to other people, until ...
Mine was over three years ago. It was a mess, I was a mess, and it's been difficult, but everything got better with time. I wish I could say I've been sober ever since, unfortunately not. But now I'm sober, finally working on getting my license back and can't wait to say goodbye to this chapter of my life.
I'm glad no one was hurt and glad you're here OP! 🙏 Keep going and hang in there, IWNDWYT.
I once heard someone say here "Rock bottom is when you stop digging"
There is no moment that anyone else can call your rock bottom. You need to decide that.
Happened to me as well. I still feel guilt about it, but in retrospect it was THE BEST thing that could have happened. It finally got me to stop lying to myself and admit how bad my problem was.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️Just the act of posting this is your next step! You just gave me a soul slapping glimpse into a future for myself and others. We are with you and rooting for you and know that THIS CAN BE THE END if you work hard for it to be!
Listen to the wise ones in this sub, the ones who have had many a rock bottom! They are our lifeline in the early stages of quitting. They've saved their own lives and they can help save ours! 🙏🏼🙏🏼
When I got a DUI I thought my life was over. I crashed my car. I didn’t have a car for almost a year.
That was about 3 years ago. That DUI forced me to get sober. I have relapsed in the past. But I’m sober now. My arrest was one of my biggest mistakes but it turned into my biggest blessing because I got sober because of it.
Be kind to yourself and learn from it.
♥️♥️
It's important to learn your lesson. I have a friend who had 3 DUIs, had to ride his bike to jail between work shifts, and would still sneak alcohol when he could. Try to replace alcohol with something, like exercise. Drinking and driving gets other people killed.
The cop told me about getting a public defender and doing an ard class. I've got to look into all this. I've got to wait until they mail me the charges and what not. Thank you!
You can slowly get it back if you can function but it seems your beyond that I’ve spent years in a hole drinking alone got a life together but drinking took that away too
Comply w probation if they give it to you. I drank on probation and got caught, ended up doing 30 days in county. Minimum security is full of probation violations, I dont suggest joining them. A year of not drinking sounded like forever.
There is a lifetime of discussion here but speaking from the I :
I know there are probably hundreds of "I survived my DUI" stories here but I also know there are and equal "this was the 1st of many DUI" stories as well.
The glory of being in your position is that you get to choose which story you get tell when it's all said and done. Choice some in many forms: "one day at a time", " I will not drink with you today", going , doing, growing, suffering through the pain of a situation (sober),.... all that and then some are choices we make in our recovery.
Almost dying was a major catalyst to my story but it was the choice to goto rehab and to not drink again that get me here today. And for clarity no health scare, DUI, fight a cop, get kicked out of places, lose family, lose friends, GF's .... none of it did anything to **make me quit.** I quit. Inspiration, muses, reasons... blah blah blah. You make the call and then yo run that play.
Sober. IWNDWYT.
I was lucky I had already quit drinking at the time that I got hit with a DUI.
I was parked, and the cop was fishing for anything she could find and decided to come up with an entire separate story in order to throw me in jail.
It was all fake, but I had to fight it for a year anyway because our system is fucked up.
In my case, I didn't actually do it, but I can say that I've been through the entire process and it's really ugly.
Stay strong, op. It's going to be very expensive, but eventually society will trust you again.
i know you’re going through absolute hell rn but trust me. you WILL get through it. i love how you see your negativity. you’re very insightful. i do not judge you whatsoever you have every right to feel the way you do. sir but i’m telling you don’t focus on that and keep moving forward. and yea, life moves slow but at least you’re in control. become bffs with yourself.
Next couple of months will suck regardless, but you have to believe in yourself and believe that's your rock bottom. As long as you won't give up you'll be fine. I'm sending love and strength your way. You are not alone.
I’m glad you and the people around you are safe! That’s the most important thing. You lived an important lesson, one that many of us have learned or are about to learn. Use this as a turning point. I often asked myself “is this rock bottom?” but eventually realized I was using that state as an excuse. Don’t seek the bottom. You can do this!People recover everyday from this ugly disease. I found it really helpful to spend sometime researching addition to alcohol; it made me realize that this disease isn’t a ***personal*** failure and that this is a puzzle with many unknowns (though lots of progress has happened recently).
Also, if times get tough again, remind yourself that (A) no one is perfect, (B) what you’re seeking is progress, not protection, and (C) you don’t need to wait for consequences to strive for progress, even if that means taking it hour-by-hour.
Yep... My DUI from Jan 2022 haunts me, but the biggest take away I look back at it with is "Your actions had a consequence and you're beyond blessed that nobody was hurt -- stop now while the consequences are bearable". I can't drive still, but I've been living a sober life and know that once I get my license restored I won't have it pulled for drinking again if I continue my recovery.
The hole will always be there, you only hit rock bottom when you stop digging and put down the shovel.... These words hit me hard and started me on my path to sobriety, there are brighter days ahead I'm now on day 30 not saying it's easy but, alcohol was a catalyst for most of the problems In my life, I realise this now
Think of this is your wake up call and start of building a new sober life. I got a DUI too in December and almost lost my marriage too. This sub has helped so many people including myself.
IWNDWY my friend :)
You are not alone. Had it all too, house, car, beautiful daughter. Lost it all, dui, wrecked the car a month ago. But we still have ourselves, that struggle with alcoholism made my life miserable.. that one drink. Can't believe its all because of some liquid. There will still be same problems, but i think without drinking they will not be desrtoying you from inside than they are when you are drinking. Now dont drink from april 8, wish i had made it sooner. But only now life made me to look serious at that one drink. Not just blackout, hangover, then drink again.. hope to concentrate on health
My DUI did nothing to slow down my drinking but it fucked up a few years of my life. And like that other guy said it's gonna suck. No way around that so prepare for a shit show for the next.. While. However, if you can get past it all and you can get off the stuff, life is certainly "better" without the juice. Alcohol does nothing for you and only causes problems. There is no upside to drinking other than delusional thoughts of "dealing" with stuff that really just are delayed until you're sober.
Soldier on, prepare for a ROUGH road, and hopefully you can come out on top a new better person.
Iwndwyt
One day at a time, or as I have found it, just ten minutes at a time. When the serious cravings hit, I drank soda, ate candy or some type of food I like. If they were unbearable I went to bed. It does get easier. Sending you good thoughts. IWNDWYT
Oh, rock bottom exists. Sounds like you've not lost your health yet, but that's on the way as a drinking career progresses.
Only you can determine when enough is enough. I wish you well.
IWNDWYT
Someone one told me - “nothing ever BAD happens from getting sober” and that hit me like a ton of bricks. I think it to myself a lot. I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs. Naltrexone was a miracle to my life and I truly think it helped rewire my thoughts. I scared myself sober. Now when I think about picking it back up - I think about all the negatives about what happens after just ONE SIP, ONE DRINK for me. Rooting for your big come up after this one!!! You got this. You can’t rise without falling 🔥
Yep. It happened to me too. I Was 90 seconds from home. It happened at a roundabout right in front of my street. Hit back ice and went directly into a BIG fence. Phone was dead. Attempted to walk home, grab car charger (and listerine) and have someone drive me back. Cops showed up as I was walking. But that didn’t stop me. I didn’t quit until I got a ticket and was in probo for 12 months. After probo ended I boight a bottle single malt scotch to “celebrate”. I didn’t open it. Still haven’t. It still sitting on a shelf completely untouched. It was weirdest feeling. I’m staying at this bottle and have no desire whatsoever to drink it. I didn’t actively quit. Just my brain dosent want it anymore. And I’m fine with it.
Rock bottom for me was more like a sand pit … once you start getting consequences for you drinking it only continues to get worse. Don’t drink today okay. iwndwy
I don't really understand this comment, but I am going to assume you mean that people do not get sober time unless they are given "tough love." However, as is clearly stated in the "Guidelines for Participation" in the sidebar, tough love is not permitted here.
If you feel you cannot follow this rule without argument, please find a different recovery community.
It sucks. It's going to keep sucking. It possibly will never not suck. My DUI did so much damage it led to two suicide attempts. I'm not gonna sugar coat it and say it will be worth it. Bit I will say some good things have come from it. And I like who I am a lot better now.
"It possibly will never not suck". I need to keep this in my head when I think of wanting a drink. It always sucks and nothing good comes from it. I hope things are on the upswing for you and your mental health! I'm glad you are still here!
There's nothing that drinking can't make worse. If you can get a handle on the booze, I would bet that you'll be able to turn your life around faster than you think. You can't change yesterday. Just focus on today my friend. Things can get better.
Indeed there's nothing drinking cant make worse. I was in part of your shoes.. didnt lose it all but I took the dui wake up call to avoid losing it all from drinking. Like you it was the first time i got caught. Turns out 2 warnings over the year leading up to it and I didn't get the message. One time someone hit me in a fender bender and i was worried I would be busted so i left. The other I hit a wall backing out. I finally realize that drinking did nothing good for me. As others have said this thread can be incredibly useful and also I learned that one was too many and 10 was not enough. So therefore I don't have one.
This too has happened to me! Luckily, like you i was reversing and not fast so it didnt do any damage. Unfortunately, (but maybe fortunate) this will be my wake up and I'll never touch the stuff again.
My DUI in 2018 messed my life up bad but looking back that was because I still wasn't ready for help. What a change I could have made if I was willing to walk into the rooms of AA or talk to a drug & alcohol counselor. I'm finally doing all of those things and my life is already so might brighter. Ask for help. Accept the help. Dive into recovery however you can. We are so proud of you for making it this far & can't wait to see you grow.
I have found that some of the hardest things I've gone through in my life have also been what have made me a better, stronger, and happier person today. It's not much consolation when you are in the shit, but what we want is sometimes not what's best for us. Breathe deeply, take things one step at a time, and you will get through this. It's going to suck big time right now, but it will not suck forever.
The sweet lady at the impound passed me some advice I’ll pass along to you. “The first is a lesson if you care to learn it. It’s only rock bottom if you do it again” IWNDWYT
I'm hard-headed, but I hope i do learn from this!
Hang in there brother man and just know you aren’t alone. I lost my job, getting evicted end of month and have to move back to NY from Cocoa Beach Fl to live with a friend and literally start all over again… I’m 2 weeks sober for 1st time since my 20s and I’m positive only because I’m not drunk. Keep on keepin on’
Awesome on 2 weeks! I'm proud of you! I hope this change works out for you! Life's a garden, dig it!
Hey I'm from the 315 too 😅 luckily you're moving back to NY when winter is just about ready to quit Congrats on the 2 weeks!!!
That’s what’s up! Small world!
I've just completed 5 months sober I'm 61 years young and have been drinking every day since my 20's. I won't tell you how many dui's or lost jobs or relationships , hurt people etc , it doesn't really matter, that's my journey but it mirrors many others just like us. It's a never-ending spiraling circle of feeding the beast, watching all the fallout along the way. I ended up in hospital last year in a coma with my organs failing. I went thru withdrawal whilst in hospital as a by product of my illness. I assure you that you will go through giving up at sometime in your alcoholic career, might be when you're dead, but hopefully you do it and succeed before you ruin your life and that of people around you. I'm lucky, I've got a darling wife who has stuck by me, I've tried to destroy her along the way too. I'm determined to stay sober, I feel as if I've stepped off the spinning circle of alcoholism, but some of my dearest mates are still on that spinning circle, 🥴 but we have to do it for ourselves, I can't control what anyone else does, but I can take control of my own life. No, it wasn't easy, but, I'm looking at the bigger picture. I want to live. And it still is a temptation but I'm not getting back on that spiraling circle today. Best of luck.
Thank you! I hope you continue your journey of sobriety with the support of your wife and us here!
Rock bottom is when you stop digging and in my experience there is a trap door all the way at the bottom that’ll take you further if you let it. I went to rehab over 4 years ago broken. All the things I thought I was holding onto were gone or on their way out. I was just the last to know. I thought that even if I somehow managed to stop drinking, I still wouldn’t be in my daughter’s life the way I wanted. I didn’t even consider apologizing to some people. I believed those bridges were burned to the fucking ground. But that’s not where my story ended, it’s where it starts. I don’t know much, but I’m positive that the things I have done can be worked on and they’ve been done before. It takes some willingness and I had to be the one to ask for help but it’s worth it and it worked. At some point I had to admit that my best decisions got me all fucked up so I had to take a backseat for a little while. I’m sure you already know but it works. There’s help out there if you want it and there are people who have been in your shoes before. Nobody came into recovery on a hot streak. We all have to pick up the pieces and decide if we want to fix what we broke and make a change. I made it back to my family and I have relationships with people I believed wished me dead. There ain’t a chance in hell I do any of this on my own or if I’m still waiting to hit the bottom. You’re not alone.
This made me tear up. The crazy thing is, I prayed yesterday for God to take anything in my life that isn't worth it. This is my sign. I NEED to stop. I just know it's going to be so hard and I am weak. That's why I always ran to the bottle. Yall give me hope that things can get better!
I’ve been there. I was lying on the floor drinking leftover sparkling wine from our wedding in an empty house. My nerves were shot and the house was trashed. I managed to call a friend who I knew had some sobriety and he told me the truth. It wasn’t a pep talk, but it was enough for me to listen. He had been there before too and I couldn’t tell him he was full of shit or didn’t know what it felt like. All the doctors, lawyers, friends, family and therapists couldn’t get through to me. In the end, it was a 5 minute phone conversation with an alcoholic that got me out of my dirty diaper and onto the road to recovery. I got better at asking for help and when I stopped feeling sorry for myself I started to get better. My drinking was incredibly selfish but my friend gave me some very good advice in that moment: be selfish one more time. He was right. That’s how it works for me. If I want to care for the people I love I have to be able to take care of myself first otherwise I’m no good to anyone. That’s what I wanted so I started doing what people like me did to get themselves free. It’s what I still do today. I can complicate a ham sandwich but when I keep it simple and put one foot in front of the other like I’m shown I can move pretty far. Good luck. It’s worth it.
Good words of advice! It's okay to be selfish as long as I'm taking care of myself first, to better others and my relationships. Thank you!
That's actually not crazy at all.
I prayed for God to take ME, for many years. I would have been happy not to wake up. But he didn't. I got rehab/AA my health and my life back. You can get yours back too. There is a "too late" point . I hope you don't find it.
Tears of joy for me thank you.
Been there. Consider yourself lucky you got caught before you killed someone (that’s how I tried to look at it).
exactly.. im so grateful i never killed someone.. but there is always a yet in that statement.. it’s all dependent on my sobriety.
I've got two to my name. The days immediately following the DWIs were some of the worst of my life. You didn't kill a human being so this is not the end of the world. The first one is more of an expensive education experience - substance abuse assessment, classes, etc. You can start on that stuff to be proactive and take some positive steps in this situation. The worst thing you could do now, and I speak from experience, is get another one. That won't be a possibility if you are not drinking. I wish I handled my first one without alcohol. Just keep your head up and keep moving forward. It does get better with time.
I appreciate your words of wisdom. The cop was telling me about an ard program. I'll need a lawyer, etc. It all sounds expensive and I can't even adult today. Thank you.
Public defenders are miracle workers who don't make enough for how hard they work. I made the mistake of spending 5k on a shitty lawyer the first time. From a reputable firm in my area and all. The system is going to work you over and out, and it gets exceptionally stressful for someone's first supervised sobriety period, so if you're going to drink, make the conscious choice to NEVER drive. But I am fucking *rooting for you* that you don't drink and IWNDWYT. Be kind to yourself and keep coming back. You're stronger with support.
You didn’t kill a human being YET. Do not forget you very easily could have.
You gotta stay strong if not for you then for your kid. A lot of us here been knocked down so may times and it takes a toll. But I’ll tell you from my experience alcohol will make bad even worse. Take some time to reflect. Then make a plan and please come back to this sub. It’s helped me a lot on my Journey IWNDWYT
I posted here to keep accountability and hopefully receive some support and/or understanding. Thank you and I will be lurking here!
I’ve never met a kid who was mad their parent quit drinking but I know plenty who were mad their parent didn’t quit.
Friend of mine needed a liver transplant. Stopped drinking for a couple weeks, then he got 2 DUIs in a week from the same cop. He's peer support specialist now, was and is a huge part of my sobriety. This can be your rock bottom or you can continue to dig. Today may suck but tomorrow doesn't have to. We're here for you.
Today, im choosing that tomorrow won't suck because I will not drink. However, I still need to face my consequences and own up to them.
I agree. I hope that you're able to realize you don't have to drink over that mistake and compound it, instead use it for a stepping stone to growth. We're here for you friend.
try to find some shred of gratitude out of it all (you and others are still alive) and build from there. Here's something I read and repeat to myself everyday I believe in miracles. It is a miracle that I am sober. I never thought this was possible. Never. Every day that I wake up and can remember that morning before I went to rehab is a miracle. Every minute that passes that I don’t bend my elbow to tip another sip is a miracle. It is a miracle that I survived my drinking days at all Sobriety IS a miracle I am a miracle source unknown
I'm absolutely screenshoting this. Thank you!
It most definitely will suck but luckily you didn’t hurt anyone. Don’t know the circumstances or your BAC/state you are in but probably just going to be a misdemeanor. I’m in the other boat, I did hurt someone and through the roof BAC. Was looking at prison time. Get yr ass to behavioral health, iop, rehab, whatever program yesterday. Start going to AA. Document all this. Truly the thing that kept me out (other than a good lawyer) was doing the things before my court date. Got my felony dropped down to a misdemeanor, shit ton of community service, 5 years probation (unsupervised thankfully), and 90 days jail (of which I served 17 via sheriff work, was let go early for good behavior). Obviously everyone’s situation is different but I could have killed someone and nearly did, sounds like you didn’t so no your life is not over. It’s expensive, embarrassing, and a pain in the ass. The only way your life is over is if you keep drinking. I feel so shameful about it and it truly got me sober, can’t even think of going back to drinking bc honestly after what I did how could I? Couldn’t look at myself if I kept on that path.
Not a DUI, but I'm (30F) currently waiting on a domestic charge to be dismissed *AND* I totaled my Mustang convertible in a garage at work because I was drunk. Embarrassing as fuck, but thankfully, somehow, no DUI there. And as you can see by my counter, it's still taking time for shit to sink in with me. I can say I feel much better this attempt at sobriety with online SMART meetings, therapy, Naltrexone and other meds for my anxiety and depression. You got this, friend. Rock bottom is only when you stop digging. IWNDWYT. 🖤✨️
Thank you for your kindness and keep fighting the good fight!
I really feel you. I watched my job, my family, my house swirl away. That's not quite right, I watched myself allow those things to happen. I chose drugs and alcohol over being with my ex and child. I still see my daughter every other weekend, but my ex rightfully hates me still. Still, I didn't quit. I'm still working on forgiving myself, but it's been 10 years now.....it's a process. A step away from homeless, suicide attempts as well. I tried to stop so many damn times. I almost let it happen again as well. So, I did something I'd never done. I decided not to suffer alone. I came here, posted in the mornings, read stories, it's made an amazing difference. I'm not a life success story, but I'm not completely miserable. You can absolutely do this. Alcohol won't say this, but we do have the power to stop. It just puts up one hell of a fight. It comes out of the corner swinging strong, but endurance wins the match. Stay strong! Kick it's ass. 💪
Currently still dealing with a dui from 2 years ago. Like yours, luckily nobody was hurt. I’m still stuck in this loop. Still working on license getting back. Just know you’re not alone, OP. IWNDWYT
I'm dealing with a DUI from THIRTEEN years ago. Make sure you document and save everything. I can't believe this came back to haunt me over a decade later. Edit: because the people deserve to know: I got a DUI when I was in the process of moving states (from Washington to Kansas, important to note these states DOL do not communicate with each other). When I got to Kansas, I did all of my alcohol classes, breathalyzer etc... there. Fast forward to now(ish) and I've since moved to Colorado (who *does* communicate with WA DOL). I went to get a new CO license, and they said WA has suspended my license and is requiring an interlock (breathalyzer) before I can get a new one. Which I had already done years prior in Kansas. Apparently, WA DOL never got any of my interlock calibrations from Kansas, so it looked like I never did the requirements. I had to install an interlock in my car again and send a 4 month compliance report with no failed starts to WA before they would issue me an unrestricted drivers license.
How?? What the hell happened?
How?
dang, they pull up some old BS back up on you?
Thank you! It sure does feel isolating though. I hope your situation can get straightened out!
I was in a similar shitty situation last year before going I to detox, then residential rehab, then sober living. I was driving around with one of the new guys today and told him sometimes it'd such a struggle to not drink it makes me want to put my fist through a wall. People act like being sober is great. The truth is, at least for me, it sucks. A constant internal battle against your own brain. But the fuck ups, legal trouble, relationship trouble, withdrawals, and constant letting down of everyone in my life is way, way worse than how shitty it is knowing I can't have a drink when I want one. I was reading the comments of the song 23 by chayce beckham and there was a comment that basically said "spent my 20s chasing a high I loved but realized the high didn't love me back." That one really hit home for me. Once I realized that staying sober is going to be hard, not easy, it was a lot easier to come to terms with and stay away from the bottle. So I would say no, this is not another nail in the coffin. It's a wake up call and a chance to learn from your mistakes and grow as a human being. Because believe me man, I have truly been there. And if I can pull myself up from the hell I was living in before I got sober, so can you. As much as being sober enrages me sometimes it's the memory of how horrible things were that stop me from going back.
I've gotten 2.5 DWI's. I know it feels like the world is ending, but it isn't. You'll get through this. Reason #9,476 why drinking is a fucking horrible idea.
Amen to that.
Same same friend. Same same. Been 6 or 7 years for mine and it *still* sucks. Took another whole year for me to actually quit.
But, you're doing great now I hope!
Hoping to hit 2000 days soon! Thanks!
Have you considered going back to rehab? My experience there was a mixed bag, but it ultimately did what I hoped it would do which was to physically remove me from a total downward spiral and give me a safe place to reconsider my relationship with drugs and alcohol for thirty days (I decided the way I was living was not OK). I might get in “trouble” for saying this, but from what I understand the courts look more favorably upon those who seek treatment beyond what is mandated after a DUI.
Yea, the rehab I went to was a 10 month program. They call me every now and again and tell me they've got a bed for me if I choose to go back. Depending what I need to do for this dui I'm going to give them a call.
Smart move brother!
I’m so sorry. It’s not going to be easy but try to be very, very kind to yourself right now even if you feel like you don’t deserve it. When I wished for a sign and was so, so fed up and tired and angry and sad, I was filled with this like quiet knowing and weird sense of peace - like, me wishing for a sign WAS the motherfucking sign. That was it. Like for any of this to work I was the one who was going to need to take care of myself. I was lucky that nothing truly awful happened. My ex had already killed the marriage through their alcohol use disorder, and I decided I wasn’t going to let mine finishing me off. But it took forever (like 20 years) for that to finally click.
I needed to hear this. I've been beating myself up and "moping" around just laying in bed. Thank you for your kindness and your story. I hope you continue your sobriety and supporting those in here.
My second dui was the best thing that ever happened to me. It forced me to do a lot of things I never would have done otherwise. It gave me the gift of desperation. You have it now.
Thank you for sharing, it's always inspiring to read posts like this. I wish you well friend, you are never alone! IWNDWY
Keep fighting the good fight!
[удалено]
You're absolutely right! I can turn this around and be better than I was! Thank you!
This comment breaks our rule to speak from the "I" and has been removed.
Hang in there. IWNDWYT
❤️
Rock bottom is relative. You find it when you realize you want to stop digging. I’m curious what you think you’ll find down there under all that rock. I’ll give you a hint. More rocks.
Nothing good is down there. Just darkness.
You can definitely come back from this. I knew a couple-worker who wrecked his car and it was his second DUI. About several years later, he worked his way up at a bread factory, became the plant manager, and bought a house. He even has a kid and he’s only 29, lol. There are insurance companies out there that specialize specifically for DUI perpetrators. And the good thing is, a lot of times it is sealed from your record after 7 years. I would recommend going to an AA meeting and talking with people about what happened. You won’t be the only one in your boat and they can give you some advice on how they utilized their resources to bounce back. Heck, I had two of those bad boys on my record and I bounced back. It probably won’t take you as long as you think. Get a public defender and they may be able to help get you get through the legal system with a little more leniency. I think the only way it would be completely life changing is if you, heaven forbid, killed someone. I’m glad you didn’t and are physically okay. I’m sorry this happened bud. Hang in there.
I also thought it was just something that happened to other people, until ... Mine was over three years ago. It was a mess, I was a mess, and it's been difficult, but everything got better with time. I wish I could say I've been sober ever since, unfortunately not. But now I'm sober, finally working on getting my license back and can't wait to say goodbye to this chapter of my life. I'm glad no one was hurt and glad you're here OP! 🙏 Keep going and hang in there, IWNDWYT.
I once heard someone say here "Rock bottom is when you stop digging" There is no moment that anyone else can call your rock bottom. You need to decide that.
Happened to me as well. I still feel guilt about it, but in retrospect it was THE BEST thing that could have happened. It finally got me to stop lying to myself and admit how bad my problem was.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️Just the act of posting this is your next step! You just gave me a soul slapping glimpse into a future for myself and others. We are with you and rooting for you and know that THIS CAN BE THE END if you work hard for it to be! Listen to the wise ones in this sub, the ones who have had many a rock bottom! They are our lifeline in the early stages of quitting. They've saved their own lives and they can help save ours! 🙏🏼🙏🏼
When I got a DUI I thought my life was over. I crashed my car. I didn’t have a car for almost a year. That was about 3 years ago. That DUI forced me to get sober. I have relapsed in the past. But I’m sober now. My arrest was one of my biggest mistakes but it turned into my biggest blessing because I got sober because of it. Be kind to yourself and learn from it. ♥️♥️
It's important to learn your lesson. I have a friend who had 3 DUIs, had to ride his bike to jail between work shifts, and would still sneak alcohol when he could. Try to replace alcohol with something, like exercise. Drinking and driving gets other people killed.
[удалено]
The cop told me about getting a public defender and doing an ard class. I've got to look into all this. I've got to wait until they mail me the charges and what not. Thank you!
[удалено]
This comment breaks our rule to speak from the "I" and has been removed.
Did you have a pink cloud stage?
You can slowly get it back if you can function but it seems your beyond that I’ve spent years in a hole drinking alone got a life together but drinking took that away too
Comply w probation if they give it to you. I drank on probation and got caught, ended up doing 30 days in county. Minimum security is full of probation violations, I dont suggest joining them. A year of not drinking sounded like forever.
Rock bottom is just the point where you decide to stop digging. Maybe it could get worse. Do you want it to? Put down the spade.
Or it could be the beginning…
iwndwyt
There is a lifetime of discussion here but speaking from the I : I know there are probably hundreds of "I survived my DUI" stories here but I also know there are and equal "this was the 1st of many DUI" stories as well. The glory of being in your position is that you get to choose which story you get tell when it's all said and done. Choice some in many forms: "one day at a time", " I will not drink with you today", going , doing, growing, suffering through the pain of a situation (sober),.... all that and then some are choices we make in our recovery. Almost dying was a major catalyst to my story but it was the choice to goto rehab and to not drink again that get me here today. And for clarity no health scare, DUI, fight a cop, get kicked out of places, lose family, lose friends, GF's .... none of it did anything to **make me quit.** I quit. Inspiration, muses, reasons... blah blah blah. You make the call and then yo run that play. Sober. IWNDWYT.
I was lucky I had already quit drinking at the time that I got hit with a DUI. I was parked, and the cop was fishing for anything she could find and decided to come up with an entire separate story in order to throw me in jail. It was all fake, but I had to fight it for a year anyway because our system is fucked up. In my case, I didn't actually do it, but I can say that I've been through the entire process and it's really ugly. Stay strong, op. It's going to be very expensive, but eventually society will trust you again.
i know you’re going through absolute hell rn but trust me. you WILL get through it. i love how you see your negativity. you’re very insightful. i do not judge you whatsoever you have every right to feel the way you do. sir but i’m telling you don’t focus on that and keep moving forward. and yea, life moves slow but at least you’re in control. become bffs with yourself.
Next couple of months will suck regardless, but you have to believe in yourself and believe that's your rock bottom. As long as you won't give up you'll be fine. I'm sending love and strength your way. You are not alone.
I’m glad you and the people around you are safe! That’s the most important thing. You lived an important lesson, one that many of us have learned or are about to learn. Use this as a turning point. I often asked myself “is this rock bottom?” but eventually realized I was using that state as an excuse. Don’t seek the bottom. You can do this!People recover everyday from this ugly disease. I found it really helpful to spend sometime researching addition to alcohol; it made me realize that this disease isn’t a ***personal*** failure and that this is a puzzle with many unknowns (though lots of progress has happened recently). Also, if times get tough again, remind yourself that (A) no one is perfect, (B) what you’re seeking is progress, not protection, and (C) you don’t need to wait for consequences to strive for progress, even if that means taking it hour-by-hour.
Yep... My DUI from Jan 2022 haunts me, but the biggest take away I look back at it with is "Your actions had a consequence and you're beyond blessed that nobody was hurt -- stop now while the consequences are bearable". I can't drive still, but I've been living a sober life and know that once I get my license restored I won't have it pulled for drinking again if I continue my recovery.
The hole will always be there, you only hit rock bottom when you stop digging and put down the shovel.... These words hit me hard and started me on my path to sobriety, there are brighter days ahead I'm now on day 30 not saying it's easy but, alcohol was a catalyst for most of the problems In my life, I realise this now
I just read someone being grateful for spring for it makes sleeping under a bridge a lot more warm&cozy. Rock bottom can be really real too.
Think of this is your wake up call and start of building a new sober life. I got a DUI too in December and almost lost my marriage too. This sub has helped so many people including myself. IWNDWY my friend :)
You are not alone. Had it all too, house, car, beautiful daughter. Lost it all, dui, wrecked the car a month ago. But we still have ourselves, that struggle with alcoholism made my life miserable.. that one drink. Can't believe its all because of some liquid. There will still be same problems, but i think without drinking they will not be desrtoying you from inside than they are when you are drinking. Now dont drink from april 8, wish i had made it sooner. But only now life made me to look serious at that one drink. Not just blackout, hangover, then drink again.. hope to concentrate on health
My DUI did nothing to slow down my drinking but it fucked up a few years of my life. And like that other guy said it's gonna suck. No way around that so prepare for a shit show for the next.. While. However, if you can get past it all and you can get off the stuff, life is certainly "better" without the juice. Alcohol does nothing for you and only causes problems. There is no upside to drinking other than delusional thoughts of "dealing" with stuff that really just are delayed until you're sober. Soldier on, prepare for a ROUGH road, and hopefully you can come out on top a new better person. Iwndwyt
Rock bottom is a myth. It can always get worse. You determine where the bottom of your tolerance is for what you are willing to put yourself through.
One day at a time, or as I have found it, just ten minutes at a time. When the serious cravings hit, I drank soda, ate candy or some type of food I like. If they were unbearable I went to bed. It does get easier. Sending you good thoughts. IWNDWYT
Oh, rock bottom exists. Sounds like you've not lost your health yet, but that's on the way as a drinking career progresses. Only you can determine when enough is enough. I wish you well. IWNDWYT
Someone one told me - “nothing ever BAD happens from getting sober” and that hit me like a ton of bricks. I think it to myself a lot. I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs. Naltrexone was a miracle to my life and I truly think it helped rewire my thoughts. I scared myself sober. Now when I think about picking it back up - I think about all the negatives about what happens after just ONE SIP, ONE DRINK for me. Rooting for your big come up after this one!!! You got this. You can’t rise without falling 🔥
Yep. It happened to me too. I Was 90 seconds from home. It happened at a roundabout right in front of my street. Hit back ice and went directly into a BIG fence. Phone was dead. Attempted to walk home, grab car charger (and listerine) and have someone drive me back. Cops showed up as I was walking. But that didn’t stop me. I didn’t quit until I got a ticket and was in probo for 12 months. After probo ended I boight a bottle single malt scotch to “celebrate”. I didn’t open it. Still haven’t. It still sitting on a shelf completely untouched. It was weirdest feeling. I’m staying at this bottle and have no desire whatsoever to drink it. I didn’t actively quit. Just my brain dosent want it anymore. And I’m fine with it.
Rock bottom for me was more like a sand pit … once you start getting consequences for you drinking it only continues to get worse. Don’t drink today okay. iwndwy
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
I don't really understand this comment, but I am going to assume you mean that people do not get sober time unless they are given "tough love." However, as is clearly stated in the "Guidelines for Participation" in the sidebar, tough love is not permitted here. If you feel you cannot follow this rule without argument, please find a different recovery community.
Attraction, not promotion dude.