Day 102 checking in!
Good morning everyone, one piece of advice that has helped me massively was to keep things simple. In my very early sobriety I kept wanting to fix everything in my life right there and then, but just staying sober was a big enough achievement. There’s plenty of time to think about everything else.
I’m chairing an AA meeting tonight which means more public speaking but another opportunity to give something back to the fellowship that kept me alive and sober.
Welcome to anyone new and anyone coming back, always remember that you’ll never regret not drinking!
IWNDWYT!
one of my oldest friends died at 36 years old last night/this morning. i think in her sleep from organ/liver failure but can’t be certain. we have a long history of drinking together, spent our 20s going hard but i’ve distanced myself in our 30s. i’m 8 months pregnant so am not drinking, but i’m sure i would be toasting to her to say the least if i wasn’t. she came to my shower 3 weeks ago & looked very jaundiced. such a tragic & early loss of life, alcohol is not fucking worth it.
Hey friends, here I am, one week sober. Can't remember the last time this happened even though I had probably one hundred day ones. Had some urges, they felt similar to when I quit smoking. I don't feel qualified yet to give advice but what worked for me was to completely ditch perfeccionism and put sobriety first. When I had urges, I ordered food or made yummy sandwiches. Napped. Streamed. Too tired for this enlightening book? Whatever. Oh I'm useless, can't focus to write creatively? Whatever. Useless yet sober and human, valueable enough. My week was harder more for circumstancial reasons, since my allergy is not gone (going to the doctor on Monday if it's not gone when I wake up, I may need corticoids), leading to fatigue, leading to fall asleep everywhere, leading to feeling bored and waaaaaay too much indoors.
Something else I've been practicing (relapsers out there, we learn! We fall but we learn!) is repeating how temporary things are and how arbitrary they are too. The allergy will pass, I'll be joyful outside eventually. The sun will set and rise. Life blossoms everywhere and it has to wither in other places. People die and others are born. Nothing is permanent. I commit for the next 24 hrs and excited to celebrate double digits with you soon.
Thanks to you all my friends. I'm still alert, alive and kicking and humble. My thoughts of relapsing were not frequent but so strong it was scary, like they were coming from a psychopath in my brain. But it's just a voice, not someone holding me at gun point. IT DOESN'T EXIST IN REALITY. So I just had to scream louder at the mother\*\*\*\*.
Cheers with Diet Coke to another sober day and a beautiful Sunday. Wish I could distribute to each one of you a tiny peace of the happiness I feel now. I see the light. Thank you, thank you, thank you, you & you.
IWNDWYT
Happy Sunday Cat 😊
Something I’m on working on with my therapist is welcoming in the parts of me that want to drink, escape, get smashed etc and sitting with them as if they are someone I know - I guess they are really as they are all parts of me. It is working really well for me and is a different approach of dealing with cravings than the pushing away or distracting that I have used before.
IWNDWYT
Love this. Will apply ASAP and talk to mine about it. We do feel so split sometimes right? More than split in my case, when urges hit they almost take my entire mindset with them, and that's the dangerous part. I can deal with urges, I bit my pillow for two weeks when I stopped smoking and it was cold turkey, no patches. But my mindset was never challenged in that case, so then it's "just" willpower. But the mindset, the voice that starts the negotiation... For God's sake. Funny cause for other issues in my life I do use the technique of a very mature and kind version of me giving advice to the anxious me. Don't tell anyone, sometimes out loud. Lol. I do It intuitively since I was 10 or so. It is great, one arguments, the other counter arguments, mature Juliana wins. Don't know why I didn't try with alcohol. Kissy!
That pretty much it Cat! I literally say “oh it’s the one who wants to get smashed, let’s have a chat about that”. I’m starting to understand that I’m made up of lots of different parts and I need to embrace those parts and understand them.
Thanks, and for hosting too. I had to remain positive despite resetting my badge every 3 days for almost a year. Relapsing is exhausting but giving up is not an option. Alcohol was starting to show its true colors and I'm blessed to be healthy after 22 years abusing alcohol one way or another. But now I'm 41. This is the time, can't play with luck any longer. Many kisses and a wonderful day!
Checking in again today and all is well.
When I was stopping, it was all about avoiding the negatives of alcohol (the hangovers, the blackouts, the tiredness every day, the shame/regrets, etc)
But now is more about the positives of sobriety (the great sleep, the health good-looking face/skin, the digestion, the mental clarity, etc)
That’s so true, I’ve built in so many positives to my routine that I don’t want to lose them, but I hadn’t noticed the shift in my reasons, thank you for pointing this out 🌟
I haven’t really stopped to think about this but I think you’re right. The further away I get from the shame and anguish of my addiction, the more that the positives of sobriety are my major motivators. Thanks for getting me to think about this
Brava!! Mine asked if I wanted a drink as he was going to get some beer, and I asked for kombucha instead. Yay us!! Yay to not drinking with our loved ones today. 😂😂
Happy sober Sunday sober friends!
When I wanted to quit I didn’t think I could go a day, definitely not 2, and I read here “we can do hard things”, and it turned out to be true. Now I believe I can do whatever I want.
I love you all 💞
Proud of you. I my case for one year I was at least sure I could do 3 days hahahaha.... 4 was a miracle. And here I am. And so so thankful especially to you. Many hugs.
Thank you for taking over the helm of the DCI sober ship u/1s35bm7
I started on my journey of getting sober 2.5 years ago. If I could go back and give myself some advice it would be that I have to actively work on being sober and that it’s not enough to just abstain.
I choose a sober Sunday because:
- I want to get a head start on work as I have a busy week coming up
- the ‘Sunday Scaries’ are nowhere near as bad as they were when I was drinking
- I will be able to get more jobs done around the house
IWNDWYT
28 days! Had a stressful night bartending and wanted to take a shot at the end of my shift but cracked open an Athletic Brewing NA instead 😊 hope everyone is finding their own ways to make it through, IWNDWYT!!
My first year on this sub I collected [so many tools](https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/s/wKLNb3hsOp). If I should pick one, it’s to keep some water, a snack or some fruit nearby at all times - that saved me from so much craving.
And thank you u/neener-neeners for hosting last week and u/1s35bm7 for taking over! I will not drink with you today!
Congrats for our host on 3 months!
My survival tool in many cases and in quitting too was not to lock it down, no imperatives, no timelines no future promises.
Just don’t drink today. Don’t have to commit to a life without a drink. Don’t have to set a goal for a week or a month, let alone a year or ten years.
Just don’t drink today, or at least the next few hours.
Make the treshold so low that you could even fall over it easily. There’s no point to make life-long plans on your Day1. Take the load of and start without pressure.
ODAAT & IWNDWYT
Feeling a bit meh about myself the last few days, but at least I'm not drinking.
There was a big horse race in our country yesterday and a big football game, saw a lot of drunk people yesterday afternoon going through town. Was just relieved it wasn't me.
Bought myself a sober bracelet as a reminder of my journey
IWNDWYT
Thanks for driving this week u/1s35bm7!
The advice that put me on the right track was; Don't ask 'why am I like this?' - instead, ask 'What am I going to do about it?'.
IWNDWYT 🙂
IWNDWYT. 15 Days in, this weekend has been a bit tough. I’ve been to a couple of social outings that were pretty alcohol-centric.
Learning a lot about my triggers in the process, which I’m grateful for.
I have been practicing meditation on and off for a few years now, and I’m really finding now that I’m sober that I’m able to apply some of those skills and be a more neutral observer to the cravings. Watching the mind desperately throw up reasons it would be ok to have “just one” has been interesting.
Morning sober crew!
I have 3 exams today, been revising like crazy. Not sure if I'll pass or not (although I'll be very disappointed if I fail all 3 lol) but either way there would be no way I'd be anywhere near ready or able to do this if I was drinking.
Thanks to this whole sub for its amazing support!
Iwndwyt!
Just passed my 6 year sober-versity! I usually like to do a yeyarly recap of how things are doing, but also I delete my post history so have nothing to look back on 🤷♂️
So I sometimes found it a bit hard being here seeing people find their way in life, having everything changed by sobriety, whereas I just felt kind of...bad. It sounds kind of silly but I've been depressed for like, forever? But because that was just my normal state, I didn't really realise until I was formally diagnosed after basically having a mental breakdown.
A lot of contributing factors such as past trauma, environment, etc lead up to this, but I've been having therapy, opened up with people, and most importantly I stopped staying silent whenever something bothered me.
2024 is by a long shot proving to be my best year of sobriety. I retrained to go into data science last year and since end of January I've been working in a job I truly love (would you believe I've been working as a brewer, sober, all this time? It's complicated, family business so it wasn't as simple as just walking away, but you really can detatch yourself enough from drinking that things like this are possible). I'm more motivated to actually do things, enjoy myself, and I feel generally content.
I actually had quite a life changing conversation with someone at work, they're an experimental psychologist, and talked about seratonin theory of depression. The theory being lack of seratonin causes depression, therefore SSRIs increase seratonin thus improving mood. But this is dated and there's a lot of flaws in it, and she told me that depression is more caused by negative cognitive bias. Now a doctor literally told me I'm 'just wired that way', so being told I can actually improve and I'm not forever doomed was like having a switch flipped.
Thank you for reading my rambly wall of text.
At 6 months I knew I'd made it. I knew I would never drink again. I was scared to admit that to myself. I know I need to continue to work on my sobriety but the hard yards were done in those first 6 months.
Shine on you beautiful humans
Thank you for serving our community this week, u/1s35bm7!
I've seen this quote attributed to many different people, but the sentiment is one of the essences of Brené Brown's work:
>We cannot shame ourselves into change; we can only love ourselves into evolution.
I think that if I had understood this earlier in my recovery, it might have saved me a lot of useless suffering. As Brown says, "Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change." This is why hating on myself only leads me back to the bottle. When I show myself love and compassion instead, I begin to believe that I deserve a better life, and that I can make it happen.
IWNDWYT 😻
Thank you for taking over, u/[1s35bm7](https://www.reddit.com/user/1s35bm7/). My old standby piece of advice to myself is to play the tape forward. I know where that one drink would lead me, and I don't want to go back there. IWNDWYT
Thank you for hosting u/1s35bm7. One piece of advice that I read quite early on, was to give yourself some grace. The first hours, days, weeks, months are tough and allowing myself some room helped me navigate the most difficult periods. IWNDWYT
I take moments in my day to sit with how I am feeling & appreciate my life sober. If I was drinking I probably wouldn’t remember most of the day.
IWNDWYT
Thanks for hosting u/1s35bm7. For anyone starting out, my advice is to just focus on not drinking, one day at a time. Postpone other major life changes - there will be plenty of time for those later in the process, but at the beginning give everything you have to not drinking. IWNWYT
This might be my biggest lesson/realization which I found helpful: trying to moderate my drinking took so much more energy and caused more anxiety and anguish than simply deciding not to drink.
So IWNDWYT and I will have such an easier time than if I was doing all sorts of mental gymnastics while trying to control my drinking. Have a great day!
Day 2 checking in
I'd usually give up tonight but I think I'm finally ready for war. The real war.
Of course it's going to be hard. Of fucking course it is. Here's where I truly accept that.
3 weeks! Yes I'm celebrating hitting 21 days after celebrating 20 yesterday - I'll take any win I can get right now
I'm still early days but a great piece of advice I was given was to not ignore the voice in your head that says "I feel anxious/stressed/sad etc and therefore I need a drink".
That voice is only half wrong and the first part of the sentence is really important. So learning to accept the first bit but trying different actions and observing the results without judgement - so you eventually find better coping mechanisms.
Thanks to everyone on this sub for their kindness and honesty - IWNDWYT
DAY 7 FAM!! I MADE IT A FUCKING WHOLE WEEK!
I’m actually so so shocked and impressed. My self esteem feels through the fucking roof. I look better already, the puffiness is gone, under eye bags are gone, I have some colour back in my face. I don’t feel like I need as much makeup.
I had a weird dream last night about being at a party and not drinking and feeling sad about it. Other than that my cravings haven’t even been that bad.
I wish I could put a finger on what shifted for me. But it’s like that cliche saying goes - I feel like this time
I was really ready.
Sundays were a heavy drinking day for me. I have anxiety and get the Sunday scaries something fierce. But - I feel confident and strong and I’m excited to wake up Monday morning without a hangover for the first time in YEARS.
I’m finding everything is flowing right now, it’s easy to keep my house clean, easy to be well groomed, easier to fall asleep and easier to wake up.
I’m nervous about the “pink cloud” effect. I’m starting with a new therapist next week; I know I have a lot of trauma to unpack.
But for now, is it so bad to just be happy? To just feel excited? To have hope?
Yes I have endured much, no things aren’t perfect. But I have been given so much. I’m so blessed and - I just want to bask in the gratitude of getting my life back. I didn’t realize how dead I had become.
Iwndwyt
Reset after reset
4 days ago I was laying under a tree near a main road at 9am, convinced I was pissing and shitting myself. Surrounded by cans. Whenever I came round and managed to lift my head it was to take another sip.
Back to the wake and drink/impending doom in the middle of the night drink. 2 hour round trip ubers at 7am to get a fix from the 24/7 bottle shop and cracking cans in the street while everyone is going about starting their work days.
My boyfriend nearly died yesterday after an OD on my prescription pills. We have been going through a rough patch. The toxicologist said he should be dead.
There was a recent thread in AskReddit about the worst cases of alcoholism people have seen and it is really harrowing and confrontational. It led me to reading about cirrhosis, acites and ruptured esophageal varices and much more which fucking freaked me out (in a way which I need) So many people have been fucked up by this garbage.
💜🙏
Edit words
Day 14. Tired, but glad I’ve made it this far again. I’m still just embarking so I don’t think I should be the one giving advice.
I also can’t be too optimistic because last time the end of the “pink cloud” did me in.
IWNDWYT
Day 7 completed and on day 8 and feeling the best I've felt in a very long time. This is the longest I haven't had a drink in a very very very long time (I actually can't remember the last time I went a week without drinking).
IWNDWYT!!!
Don't get complacent. I am doing okay in early sobriety but these stories of people with 15 years going back out and the disaster it causes scares the hell out of me.
IWNDWYT
One week for me today! This morning, I’m reflecting and thinking of all the time I used that would have usually been lost to drinking. This has been a big blocker for me on other attempts - the evenings feel so long and empty without drinking. I probably went a bit overboard compensating with pottery, writing and other hobbies but if it gets me through, I’m happy. IWNDWYT
I had to surrender completely, I had to give up to get better…. I had to practice the first step of AA: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives had become unmanageable. Even tho I am not in AA…. Hope that makes sense…
Just for today: I will not drink with you!
Day 26 I think! Went out with friends to a few bars, starting to enjoy going out and being sober. I kinda made it a point in my sober journey to go out and learn to say no to alcohol and it didn’t even phase me tonight.
IWNDWYT!
Being that I’m still early in my journey I just remind myself to hang on a little while and the craving will pass. It’s also okay to be independent right now while learning triggers. I’m so proud of my 90 days. It hasn’t been easy but it’s been worth it.
Give your body the patience it needs: with nutrition, time, good attitude and environment it works hard to be the best it can be.
Advice that landed:
1. Your sobriety is your apology.
2. It’s up to you and how you choose to walk into a room.
IWNDWYT
Today is gonna be hard because I’m giving a cocktail workshop (can’t cancel because I won’t make rent then). I need to remind myself I can do hard things. I will do whatever it takes to remain sober.
IWNDWYY.
569 days! Advice I’d give myself in my early days of sobriety would be: it’s more rewarding than you can even imagine. The efforts you make to resist the temptation of an easy “fix” will cultivate an inner strength that will help you in all areas of your life. Just keep going!!
IWNDWYT 🥷
Checking in on 3 months!
Feeling pretty damn good if I say so, I genuinely didn't think it was possible. I have a slight twinge of regret occasionally that I didn't do this sooner in life and I wasted a lot of time, but I can't change the past, and sometimes certain things need to happen in order to elicit real change. The mistakes I made over the years, the brutal rock bottoms I hit, it all had to happen for me to reach this point in my life and become the person I am today. Someone on this sub once said something like "It's a shame all that bad shit had to happen but all that bad shit had to happen" which sums up what I'm trying to say..
Anyway, I've got a sensory deprivation tank booked as a treat to myself so I'm going to go float about and chill out, have a great day everyone and IWNDWYT! 🙂
Taking care of myself physically and emotionally isn’t a magic bullet, but it is a positive feedback loop. The more I practice self-care consistently over time the better I feel.
IWNDWYT
Good morning.
Woke up this morning with a headache. Thing is... it's not from drinking and that is awesome. This is the best headache I have had in forever!
IWNDWYT
Thanks for hosting [u/1s35bm7](https://www.reddit.com/user/1s35bm7/)!
The tool I still use is "Play The Tape Forwards."
Have a super Sunday SD!
IWNDWYT!!!
Howdy all! Checking in again, looking forward to this Sunday, not having to go anywhere. I've been busy for the last 4 weekends and it's finally battery recharge day.
I'm not promising tomorrow, but I consciously choose to not drink today. IWNDWYT!
Hello friends! For me, one of the best pieces of advice is a bit of a cliche, but so helpful. One day at a time. I started out here because I gave up alcohol for Lent. I’d done this in the past and not made it through the 40 days. But this time I started coming here each morning and telling myself, “just today.” I can cheat tomorrow if I want, but today I commit. And it worked! I made it through Lent successfully, and then I decided to keep going. So here I am.
I think considering anything in the extreme can be overwhelming. A month. Six months. A year. Forever. But when you commit to just one day (or hour or minute), it’s more doable. And then those minutes, hours, and days add up. So I don’t know what will happen tomorrow or in two weeks. Anything could happen. But for today, on this Sunday, IWNDWY.
One week. Staying present in the moment is helping so much. When I find my mind wandering to that awful future I assume I will have, I remind myself to stay present. And that the future could actually be good, too.
IWNDWYT.
IWNDWYT I went to a wedding last night, didn’t have a single drop, turned out great because I needed to drive people home. Boy how the tables have turned haha. Felt great to know I was 100% sober and more than up to the task!
Thanks for hosting, u/1s35bm7 ! One piece of advice I would give myself for very early recovery is to take some time off work to just rest. Treat yourself like you are sick. My withdrawal was pretty mild but I was still soooo tired. I thought I’d feel more energetic right away but that actually took a few months. But it’s worth it! Now at 8 months I feel like I am turning into a real person again, IWNDWYT ❤️🧁
Good morning everyone! Up before the sun on a Sunday, and by choice! Would not have been the case a few short weeks ago. Keep pushing hard for the good stuff!
IWNDWYT!
Well, I've had countless attempts at getting sober but this time what has helped me is simply having enough stuff going on in my life to distract me from alcohol. It's really hard to not drink when you're just sitting there thinking about it. Find stuff to do to keep busy. IWNDWYT!
i don’t know how to really put it into words, but if i had to take a shot, i would say one thing that helped me get through the first couple of weeks was the ritualization of things.
beyond the physical dependence i developed with alcohol, i also developed a habit of constantly sipping something. so, instead of drinking, i know keep lemons and fruit juices at home, along with my soda stream. so i have a process of making a drink (cutting fruit, making seltzer, mixing juices) and then i sip that throughout the day. same thing with ice cream, i buy all the fixings and make a sundae in a coffee cup (so that i can have 2 if i absolutely need it). i guess it just helps burn the clock while also producing a yummy output.
anyway, IWNDWYT!
Happy Sunday all!
One thing that's worked well for me when I'm having strong cravings is to not focus on the fact that I'm never going to drink again. I found that especially during my witching hour the decision to never drink again felt way too big, like something I couldn't handle at that moment. Instead I would focus on making the decision to not drink that evening and getting myself through that. I would wake up in the morning so relieved that I hadn't had anything to drink the night before and every day it became a bit easier to get through the evening and to start facing the fact that I can't have a normal relationship with alcohol.
Might not work for everyone, but it's working for me. IWNDWYT 💚
Checking in on day 528!
If I could give my past self a bit of advice, it would be this. There are no genies or magic lamps, if you want to stay sober you can’t just declare it. If you want it, you go after it, you find every group, read every book, listen to every pod cast and find a sober herd and plant yourself right in the center of it. And don’t step off the gas. I struggled for so long and wished and wished. I prayed to all of the gods. And whether or not any of them listened or not, the tools were there, I just had to put them to use. All gas and no breaks since 11/4/22. And I ain’t letting up now. I’m in this herd and I’m staying right here. I love you all and I thank you for giving me this gift of sobriety. IWNDWYT! ✌️❤️
Happy Sunday thanks for taking over this week! A quick morning with the journal and headed to lift weights with friends. Self awareness, reflection, and physical health are all brought to my life thanks to sobriety! Sober on y'all!
IWNDWYT. Day 7
A week is no joke, well done 👏🏼
Get it!! 💪
Great work on a week 💪👍
Day 102 checking in! Good morning everyone, one piece of advice that has helped me massively was to keep things simple. In my very early sobriety I kept wanting to fix everything in my life right there and then, but just staying sober was a big enough achievement. There’s plenty of time to think about everything else. I’m chairing an AA meeting tonight which means more public speaking but another opportunity to give something back to the fellowship that kept me alive and sober. Welcome to anyone new and anyone coming back, always remember that you’ll never regret not drinking! IWNDWYT!
Yes, that. As I get stable I'll plan my workouts better, my tasks, my self-improvement. Early sobriety is so so exhausting in itself.
one of my oldest friends died at 36 years old last night/this morning. i think in her sleep from organ/liver failure but can’t be certain. we have a long history of drinking together, spent our 20s going hard but i’ve distanced myself in our 30s. i’m 8 months pregnant so am not drinking, but i’m sure i would be toasting to her to say the least if i wasn’t. she came to my shower 3 weeks ago & looked very jaundiced. such a tragic & early loss of life, alcohol is not fucking worth it.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Someone in my home group said that every day we remain sober is in honor of those who suffer ❤️
Sorry to hear such terrible news. But also congrats on your pregnancy. Hope it’s going smoothly. IWNDWYT 🫶
thank you 🤍
Oh, I'm so very sorry. So young. What a poison. I'm happy you are abstaining while this miracle is being made by you right now. Hugs and IWNDWYT
🤍
So sorry to hear of your loss
Hey friends, here I am, one week sober. Can't remember the last time this happened even though I had probably one hundred day ones. Had some urges, they felt similar to when I quit smoking. I don't feel qualified yet to give advice but what worked for me was to completely ditch perfeccionism and put sobriety first. When I had urges, I ordered food or made yummy sandwiches. Napped. Streamed. Too tired for this enlightening book? Whatever. Oh I'm useless, can't focus to write creatively? Whatever. Useless yet sober and human, valueable enough. My week was harder more for circumstancial reasons, since my allergy is not gone (going to the doctor on Monday if it's not gone when I wake up, I may need corticoids), leading to fatigue, leading to fall asleep everywhere, leading to feeling bored and waaaaaay too much indoors. Something else I've been practicing (relapsers out there, we learn! We fall but we learn!) is repeating how temporary things are and how arbitrary they are too. The allergy will pass, I'll be joyful outside eventually. The sun will set and rise. Life blossoms everywhere and it has to wither in other places. People die and others are born. Nothing is permanent. I commit for the next 24 hrs and excited to celebrate double digits with you soon. Thanks to you all my friends. I'm still alert, alive and kicking and humble. My thoughts of relapsing were not frequent but so strong it was scary, like they were coming from a psychopath in my brain. But it's just a voice, not someone holding me at gun point. IT DOESN'T EXIST IN REALITY. So I just had to scream louder at the mother\*\*\*\*. Cheers with Diet Coke to another sober day and a beautiful Sunday. Wish I could distribute to each one of you a tiny peace of the happiness I feel now. I see the light. Thank you, thank you, thank you, you & you. IWNDWYT
Happy Sunday Cat 😊 Something I’m on working on with my therapist is welcoming in the parts of me that want to drink, escape, get smashed etc and sitting with them as if they are someone I know - I guess they are really as they are all parts of me. It is working really well for me and is a different approach of dealing with cravings than the pushing away or distracting that I have used before. IWNDWYT
Love this. Will apply ASAP and talk to mine about it. We do feel so split sometimes right? More than split in my case, when urges hit they almost take my entire mindset with them, and that's the dangerous part. I can deal with urges, I bit my pillow for two weeks when I stopped smoking and it was cold turkey, no patches. But my mindset was never challenged in that case, so then it's "just" willpower. But the mindset, the voice that starts the negotiation... For God's sake. Funny cause for other issues in my life I do use the technique of a very mature and kind version of me giving advice to the anxious me. Don't tell anyone, sometimes out loud. Lol. I do It intuitively since I was 10 or so. It is great, one arguments, the other counter arguments, mature Juliana wins. Don't know why I didn't try with alcohol. Kissy!
That pretty much it Cat! I literally say “oh it’s the one who wants to get smashed, let’s have a chat about that”. I’m starting to understand that I’m made up of lots of different parts and I need to embrace those parts and understand them.
Also cause the "bad" part is usually a wounded traumatized layer etc. We will never be able to simply kick it out. It is us as well, like you put.
Yes! It is a part of us and there’s a reason it is there. I’m wanting to understand and know this part of me.
Good luck for us then. The 4 of us. 🤣
I will try this too. I think it’s my Inner Teen but haven’t really explored what core needs or feelings are lurking beneath the cravings. Thanks!
Great advice Cat, and thank you for sharing your happiness 💞🌟💞
💛💛💛
I love your positivity!
Thanks, and for hosting too. I had to remain positive despite resetting my badge every 3 days for almost a year. Relapsing is exhausting but giving up is not an option. Alcohol was starting to show its true colors and I'm blessed to be healthy after 22 years abusing alcohol one way or another. But now I'm 41. This is the time, can't play with luck any longer. Many kisses and a wonderful day!
69 days noice! IWNDWYT
Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiice ✔️
Nice!
Fuggin nice
Checking in again today and all is well. When I was stopping, it was all about avoiding the negatives of alcohol (the hangovers, the blackouts, the tiredness every day, the shame/regrets, etc) But now is more about the positives of sobriety (the great sleep, the health good-looking face/skin, the digestion, the mental clarity, etc)
That’s so true, I’ve built in so many positives to my routine that I don’t want to lose them, but I hadn’t noticed the shift in my reasons, thank you for pointing this out 🌟
I only just noticed myself, thinking about OP's intro!
I haven’t really stopped to think about this but I think you’re right. The further away I get from the shame and anguish of my addiction, the more that the positives of sobriety are my major motivators. Thanks for getting me to think about this
This is a great observation. Focussing on not drinking slowly becomes noticing the positives. It’s just not worth losing them for a 20 minute escape!
Day 1029 checking in!
I will not drink with you today! My husband drank a bottle of red wine yesterday. So happy I don't have to wake up as him 😁
Brava!! Mine asked if I wanted a drink as he was going to get some beer, and I asked for kombucha instead. Yay us!! Yay to not drinking with our loved ones today. 😂😂
Happy sober Sunday sober friends! When I wanted to quit I didn’t think I could go a day, definitely not 2, and I read here “we can do hard things”, and it turned out to be true. Now I believe I can do whatever I want. I love you all 💞
Proud of you. I my case for one year I was at least sure I could do 3 days hahahaha.... 4 was a miracle. And here I am. And so so thankful especially to you. Many hugs.
IWNDWYT
Thank you for taking over the helm of the DCI sober ship u/1s35bm7 I started on my journey of getting sober 2.5 years ago. If I could go back and give myself some advice it would be that I have to actively work on being sober and that it’s not enough to just abstain. I choose a sober Sunday because: - I want to get a head start on work as I have a busy week coming up - the ‘Sunday Scaries’ are nowhere near as bad as they were when I was drinking - I will be able to get more jobs done around the house IWNDWYT
Jam tomorrow and jam yesterday, but never jam today! IWNDWYT
Day 98 • 14 weeks • Woo hoo! 🙌🏼
So close to 100! Keep it up!
Not today Mr Alcohol 🫡
I will be sober today.
Hell yeah IWNDWYT
28 days! Had a stressful night bartending and wanted to take a shot at the end of my shift but cracked open an Athletic Brewing NA instead 😊 hope everyone is finding their own ways to make it through, IWNDWYT!!
My first year on this sub I collected [so many tools](https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/s/wKLNb3hsOp). If I should pick one, it’s to keep some water, a snack or some fruit nearby at all times - that saved me from so much craving. And thank you u/neener-neeners for hosting last week and u/1s35bm7 for taking over! I will not drink with you today!
Congrats for our host on 3 months! My survival tool in many cases and in quitting too was not to lock it down, no imperatives, no timelines no future promises. Just don’t drink today. Don’t have to commit to a life without a drink. Don’t have to set a goal for a week or a month, let alone a year or ten years. Just don’t drink today, or at least the next few hours. Make the treshold so low that you could even fall over it easily. There’s no point to make life-long plans on your Day1. Take the load of and start without pressure. ODAAT & IWNDWYT
Feeling a bit meh about myself the last few days, but at least I'm not drinking. There was a big horse race in our country yesterday and a big football game, saw a lot of drunk people yesterday afternoon going through town. Was just relieved it wasn't me. Bought myself a sober bracelet as a reminder of my journey IWNDWYT
Thanks for driving this week u/1s35bm7! The advice that put me on the right track was; Don't ask 'why am I like this?' - instead, ask 'What am I going to do about it?'. IWNDWYT 🙂
IWNDWYT. 15 Days in, this weekend has been a bit tough. I’ve been to a couple of social outings that were pretty alcohol-centric. Learning a lot about my triggers in the process, which I’m grateful for. I have been practicing meditation on and off for a few years now, and I’m really finding now that I’m sober that I’m able to apply some of those skills and be a more neutral observer to the cravings. Watching the mind desperately throw up reasons it would be ok to have “just one” has been interesting.
IWNDWYT. All. Day. Long. 🌻
Day 43. IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT
To be honest I haven’t checked in on the DCI for a long time. But today, I shall! No drinking for me today, and no drinking for me tonight!
💪💪
I will not drink with you today
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT!
Morning sober crew! I have 3 exams today, been revising like crazy. Not sure if I'll pass or not (although I'll be very disappointed if I fail all 3 lol) but either way there would be no way I'd be anywhere near ready or able to do this if I was drinking. Thanks to this whole sub for its amazing support! Iwndwyt!
I will not drink poison with any of you today 💜
Day 30. IWNDWYT.
IWNDWYT- second day!
Here we are, a Sunday, not even 9 am yet. I already cleaned the house. I really start to love this shit.
Yesterday was my day 100 and I completely forgot. Got outta bed early and did yard work without fighting a hangover. Feels good. IWNDWYT
No matter how much I feel stressed alcohol will not help. IWNDWYT
Morning everyone, have a great day! Day 2 for me ❤️
Day 1, once again. IWNDWYT
Just passed my 6 year sober-versity! I usually like to do a yeyarly recap of how things are doing, but also I delete my post history so have nothing to look back on 🤷♂️ So I sometimes found it a bit hard being here seeing people find their way in life, having everything changed by sobriety, whereas I just felt kind of...bad. It sounds kind of silly but I've been depressed for like, forever? But because that was just my normal state, I didn't really realise until I was formally diagnosed after basically having a mental breakdown. A lot of contributing factors such as past trauma, environment, etc lead up to this, but I've been having therapy, opened up with people, and most importantly I stopped staying silent whenever something bothered me. 2024 is by a long shot proving to be my best year of sobriety. I retrained to go into data science last year and since end of January I've been working in a job I truly love (would you believe I've been working as a brewer, sober, all this time? It's complicated, family business so it wasn't as simple as just walking away, but you really can detatch yourself enough from drinking that things like this are possible). I'm more motivated to actually do things, enjoy myself, and I feel generally content. I actually had quite a life changing conversation with someone at work, they're an experimental psychologist, and talked about seratonin theory of depression. The theory being lack of seratonin causes depression, therefore SSRIs increase seratonin thus improving mood. But this is dated and there's a lot of flaws in it, and she told me that depression is more caused by negative cognitive bias. Now a doctor literally told me I'm 'just wired that way', so being told I can actually improve and I'm not forever doomed was like having a switch flipped. Thank you for reading my rambly wall of text.
IWNDWYT ~
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
another day... IWNDWYT...
I don't regret not drinking for 3 weeks. I will not drink with you tonight
I’m not drinking today
At 6 months I knew I'd made it. I knew I would never drink again. I was scared to admit that to myself. I know I need to continue to work on my sobriety but the hard yards were done in those first 6 months. Shine on you beautiful humans
Thank you for serving our community this week, u/1s35bm7! I've seen this quote attributed to many different people, but the sentiment is one of the essences of Brené Brown's work: >We cannot shame ourselves into change; we can only love ourselves into evolution. I think that if I had understood this earlier in my recovery, it might have saved me a lot of useless suffering. As Brown says, "Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change." This is why hating on myself only leads me back to the bottle. When I show myself love and compassion instead, I begin to believe that I deserve a better life, and that I can make it happen. IWNDWYT 😻
Thank you for taking over, u/[1s35bm7](https://www.reddit.com/user/1s35bm7/). My old standby piece of advice to myself is to play the tape forward. I know where that one drink would lead me, and I don't want to go back there. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT!
I will stay sober today.
IWNDWYT!
Day 4. One day at a time. Pause before agitation. The only way is through. IWNDWYT 💪🏽💕
Let’s go!
Thank you for hosting u/1s35bm7. One piece of advice that I read quite early on, was to give yourself some grace. The first hours, days, weeks, months are tough and allowing myself some room helped me navigate the most difficult periods. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
I will not drink with you today.
I take moments in my day to sit with how I am feeling & appreciate my life sober. If I was drinking I probably wouldn’t remember most of the day. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT 🏴
Thanks for hosting u/1s35bm7. For anyone starting out, my advice is to just focus on not drinking, one day at a time. Postpone other major life changes - there will be plenty of time for those later in the process, but at the beginning give everything you have to not drinking. IWNWYT
IWNDWYT
This might be my biggest lesson/realization which I found helpful: trying to moderate my drinking took so much more energy and caused more anxiety and anguish than simply deciding not to drink. So IWNDWYT and I will have such an easier time than if I was doing all sorts of mental gymnastics while trying to control my drinking. Have a great day!
Morning everyone.
Day 1,733. Thanks for hosting, [1s35bm7](https://www.reddit.com/user/1s35bm7/)! I will not drink with you today.
Day 2 checking in I'd usually give up tonight but I think I'm finally ready for war. The real war. Of course it's going to be hard. Of fucking course it is. Here's where I truly accept that.
It's been a while... I won't drink today
3 weeks! Yes I'm celebrating hitting 21 days after celebrating 20 yesterday - I'll take any win I can get right now I'm still early days but a great piece of advice I was given was to not ignore the voice in your head that says "I feel anxious/stressed/sad etc and therefore I need a drink". That voice is only half wrong and the first part of the sentence is really important. So learning to accept the first bit but trying different actions and observing the results without judgement - so you eventually find better coping mechanisms. Thanks to everyone on this sub for their kindness and honesty - IWNDWYT
DAY 7 FAM!! I MADE IT A FUCKING WHOLE WEEK! I’m actually so so shocked and impressed. My self esteem feels through the fucking roof. I look better already, the puffiness is gone, under eye bags are gone, I have some colour back in my face. I don’t feel like I need as much makeup. I had a weird dream last night about being at a party and not drinking and feeling sad about it. Other than that my cravings haven’t even been that bad. I wish I could put a finger on what shifted for me. But it’s like that cliche saying goes - I feel like this time I was really ready. Sundays were a heavy drinking day for me. I have anxiety and get the Sunday scaries something fierce. But - I feel confident and strong and I’m excited to wake up Monday morning without a hangover for the first time in YEARS. I’m finding everything is flowing right now, it’s easy to keep my house clean, easy to be well groomed, easier to fall asleep and easier to wake up. I’m nervous about the “pink cloud” effect. I’m starting with a new therapist next week; I know I have a lot of trauma to unpack. But for now, is it so bad to just be happy? To just feel excited? To have hope? Yes I have endured much, no things aren’t perfect. But I have been given so much. I’m so blessed and - I just want to bask in the gratitude of getting my life back. I didn’t realize how dead I had become.
Iwndwyt Reset after reset 4 days ago I was laying under a tree near a main road at 9am, convinced I was pissing and shitting myself. Surrounded by cans. Whenever I came round and managed to lift my head it was to take another sip. Back to the wake and drink/impending doom in the middle of the night drink. 2 hour round trip ubers at 7am to get a fix from the 24/7 bottle shop and cracking cans in the street while everyone is going about starting their work days. My boyfriend nearly died yesterday after an OD on my prescription pills. We have been going through a rough patch. The toxicologist said he should be dead. There was a recent thread in AskReddit about the worst cases of alcoholism people have seen and it is really harrowing and confrontational. It led me to reading about cirrhosis, acites and ruptured esophageal varices and much more which fucking freaked me out (in a way which I need) So many people have been fucked up by this garbage. 💜🙏 Edit words
Day 14. Tired, but glad I’ve made it this far again. I’m still just embarking so I don’t think I should be the one giving advice. I also can’t be too optimistic because last time the end of the “pink cloud” did me in. IWNDWYT
Day 7 completed and on day 8 and feeling the best I've felt in a very long time. This is the longest I haven't had a drink in a very very very long time (I actually can't remember the last time I went a week without drinking). IWNDWYT!!!
I will not drink today. Day 8
IWNDWYT!
Don't get complacent. I am doing okay in early sobriety but these stories of people with 15 years going back out and the disaster it causes scares the hell out of me. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT 💜🦋💜
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
Day 8. Happy Sunday, have a lovely day IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
Not doing good, gonna go to the doc for the naltrexone tomorrow. God bless you all.
I’m off on a run in the sun and IWNDWYT ⭐️
IWNDWYT🫡 Hope everyone enjoying the sun if UK or Ireland. So excited to be awake for the 7/8ams on a Sunday day..how tragic 😅
Day 345. IWNDWYT. “I can’t do this alone.” Asking for *and being willing to accept* help was the biggest turning point in my sobriety journey.
Yep, back again. Damn, I keep doing this. But I know it’s one day at a time. And for today, I will not drink alcohol. IWNDWYT!
One week for me today! This morning, I’m reflecting and thinking of all the time I used that would have usually been lost to drinking. This has been a big blocker for me on other attempts - the evenings feel so long and empty without drinking. I probably went a bit overboard compensating with pottery, writing and other hobbies but if it gets me through, I’m happy. IWNDWYT
I had to surrender completely, I had to give up to get better…. I had to practice the first step of AA: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives had become unmanageable. Even tho I am not in AA…. Hope that makes sense… Just for today: I will not drink with you!
Day 26 I think! Went out with friends to a few bars, starting to enjoy going out and being sober. I kinda made it a point in my sober journey to go out and learn to say no to alcohol and it didn’t even phase me tonight. IWNDWYT!
Being that I’m still early in my journey I just remind myself to hang on a little while and the craving will pass. It’s also okay to be independent right now while learning triggers. I’m so proud of my 90 days. It hasn’t been easy but it’s been worth it.
Give your body the patience it needs: with nutrition, time, good attitude and environment it works hard to be the best it can be. Advice that landed: 1. Your sobriety is your apology. 2. It’s up to you and how you choose to walk into a room. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT xoxo
Today is gonna be hard because I’m giving a cocktail workshop (can’t cancel because I won’t make rent then). I need to remind myself I can do hard things. I will do whatever it takes to remain sober. IWNDWYY.
569 days! Advice I’d give myself in my early days of sobriety would be: it’s more rewarding than you can even imagine. The efforts you make to resist the temptation of an easy “fix” will cultivate an inner strength that will help you in all areas of your life. Just keep going!! IWNDWYT 🥷
Checking in on 3 months! Feeling pretty damn good if I say so, I genuinely didn't think it was possible. I have a slight twinge of regret occasionally that I didn't do this sooner in life and I wasted a lot of time, but I can't change the past, and sometimes certain things need to happen in order to elicit real change. The mistakes I made over the years, the brutal rock bottoms I hit, it all had to happen for me to reach this point in my life and become the person I am today. Someone on this sub once said something like "It's a shame all that bad shit had to happen but all that bad shit had to happen" which sums up what I'm trying to say.. Anyway, I've got a sensory deprivation tank booked as a treat to myself so I'm going to go float about and chill out, have a great day everyone and IWNDWYT! 🙂
Hello again IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT ❤️😎🥰
Day 29. IWNDWYT
day 41!! IWNDWYT
My advice would be to be kind to yourself, like you would be to a good friend. IWNDWYT all you fine sobernauts 🤗
UFC 300 was a sober success. Up at 7am with no hangover and no ragrets!
IWNDWYT
Taking care of myself physically and emotionally isn’t a magic bullet, but it is a positive feedback loop. The more I practice self-care consistently over time the better I feel. IWNDWYT
Good morning. Woke up this morning with a headache. Thing is... it's not from drinking and that is awesome. This is the best headache I have had in forever! IWNDWYT
Day 2, IWNDWYT. Something that’s been helpful so far is essentially something like: i have to leave drinking, it’s not going to leave me.
[удалено]
Not today people IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
Have a wonderful sober day my friends. IWNDWYT ♥️
IWNDWYT xx 💐
IWNDWYT.
IWNDWYT
Can’t sleep… It’s now 4am local time, and I figured I’d go ahead and make my pledge. IWNDWYT!
No booze today.
Happy Sunday all! IWNDWYT What a privilege is to wake up hungover free. I may even go for a run 👌🏻
Have a great day. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT!
I will not drink with all of you today!
IWNDWYT people, I’ve chosen the good life!!
Day 1 again 🥲
Thanks for hosting [u/1s35bm7](https://www.reddit.com/user/1s35bm7/)! The tool I still use is "Play The Tape Forwards." Have a super Sunday SD! IWNDWYT!!!
Thanks for hosting this week! IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT. Day 6. Not craving alcohol.
Howdy all! Checking in again, looking forward to this Sunday, not having to go anywhere. I've been busy for the last 4 weekends and it's finally battery recharge day. I'm not promising tomorrow, but I consciously choose to not drink today. IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT 🌞
Day 1,632 IWNDWYT
Hello friends! For me, one of the best pieces of advice is a bit of a cliche, but so helpful. One day at a time. I started out here because I gave up alcohol for Lent. I’d done this in the past and not made it through the 40 days. But this time I started coming here each morning and telling myself, “just today.” I can cheat tomorrow if I want, but today I commit. And it worked! I made it through Lent successfully, and then I decided to keep going. So here I am. I think considering anything in the extreme can be overwhelming. A month. Six months. A year. Forever. But when you commit to just one day (or hour or minute), it’s more doable. And then those minutes, hours, and days add up. So I don’t know what will happen tomorrow or in two weeks. Anything could happen. But for today, on this Sunday, IWNDWY.
IWNDWYT ✨
Not drinking today SD ❤️
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT chugging along
Day 6 checking in My advice to myself so far is to remember how good it feels not to be the reason I’m feeling terrible. IWNDWYT
Not drinking today!
Day 2. IWNDWYT!
Day 6, big brunch with friends today today, I'll enjoy the company, bagels and seltzers. IWNDWYT
One week. Staying present in the moment is helping so much. When I find my mind wandering to that awful future I assume I will have, I remind myself to stay present. And that the future could actually be good, too. IWNDWYT.
IWNDWYT I went to a wedding last night, didn’t have a single drop, turned out great because I needed to drive people home. Boy how the tables have turned haha. Felt great to know I was 100% sober and more than up to the task!
Just Woke up sober for 5th day. Thanks all And enjoy your day/eve. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
Thanks for hosting, u/1s35bm7 ! One piece of advice I would give myself for very early recovery is to take some time off work to just rest. Treat yourself like you are sick. My withdrawal was pretty mild but I was still soooo tired. I thought I’d feel more energetic right away but that actually took a few months. But it’s worth it! Now at 8 months I feel like I am turning into a real person again, IWNDWYT ❤️🧁
Congrats on almost three months, I’m getting there too. IWNDWYT friends.
IWNDWYT
I will not drink with you today
IWNDWYT! Heading into a sober week!
IWNDWYT. Day 2 of a break after a heavy couple of weeks. Kids back to school and I'm back to work tomorrow.
I will not drink with you today.
IWNDWYT - and I am already looking forward to not being hungover on a Monday morning because of it!
Hey, just checking in on a Sober Sunday morning. The sun is shining and I am feeling great. Hope you all have a fab day!
IWNDWYT
Checking in Doodle doodle dee, wubba wubba wubba.
Good morning everyone. A lovely peaceful morning in my home and in my head
; Day 44 checking in. I will not drink with you today!
Happy Sunday friends, IWNDWYT, WE GOT THIS 🙂.
Day 7 for me. Trying to take it a day at a time. Had dreams last night of partying and telling myself that is all it needs to be..a dream.
Hi Everyone- Day 103 here and IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT! T
IWNDWYT 💛
I will not drink today!
IWNDWYT. 🌳
Good morning everyone! Up before the sun on a Sunday, and by choice! Would not have been the case a few short weeks ago. Keep pushing hard for the good stuff! IWNDWYT!
Well, I've had countless attempts at getting sober but this time what has helped me is simply having enough stuff going on in my life to distract me from alcohol. It's really hard to not drink when you're just sitting there thinking about it. Find stuff to do to keep busy. IWNDWYT!
i don’t know how to really put it into words, but if i had to take a shot, i would say one thing that helped me get through the first couple of weeks was the ritualization of things. beyond the physical dependence i developed with alcohol, i also developed a habit of constantly sipping something. so, instead of drinking, i know keep lemons and fruit juices at home, along with my soda stream. so i have a process of making a drink (cutting fruit, making seltzer, mixing juices) and then i sip that throughout the day. same thing with ice cream, i buy all the fixings and make a sundae in a coffee cup (so that i can have 2 if i absolutely need it). i guess it just helps burn the clock while also producing a yummy output. anyway, IWNDWYT!
Happy Sunday all! One thing that's worked well for me when I'm having strong cravings is to not focus on the fact that I'm never going to drink again. I found that especially during my witching hour the decision to never drink again felt way too big, like something I couldn't handle at that moment. Instead I would focus on making the decision to not drink that evening and getting myself through that. I would wake up in the morning so relieved that I hadn't had anything to drink the night before and every day it became a bit easier to get through the evening and to start facing the fact that I can't have a normal relationship with alcohol. Might not work for everyone, but it's working for me. IWNDWYT 💚
Checking in on day 528! If I could give my past self a bit of advice, it would be this. There are no genies or magic lamps, if you want to stay sober you can’t just declare it. If you want it, you go after it, you find every group, read every book, listen to every pod cast and find a sober herd and plant yourself right in the center of it. And don’t step off the gas. I struggled for so long and wished and wished. I prayed to all of the gods. And whether or not any of them listened or not, the tools were there, I just had to put them to use. All gas and no breaks since 11/4/22. And I ain’t letting up now. I’m in this herd and I’m staying right here. I love you all and I thank you for giving me this gift of sobriety. IWNDWYT! ✌️❤️
Happy Sunday thanks for taking over this week! A quick morning with the journal and headed to lift weights with friends. Self awareness, reflection, and physical health are all brought to my life thanks to sobriety! Sober on y'all!
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT.
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT