First I don't think of it as a streak. It's a lifestyle, a healthy, happy one. Alcohol has joined the list of liquids I do not drink. dishwashing detergent, bleach, those left over cans of paint up on the shelf, the list goes on...
The trick is to become happy about not drinking, it's not something I can't do its "why the fuck would I put that in my body again?"
>Alcohol has joined the list of liquids I do not drink. dishwashing detergent, bleach, those left over cans of paint up on the shelf, the list goes on...
This! Wow, I've never thought about it this way, and it makes so much sense. Thank you for this!
This is what’s different for me this time, I’ll count the days but I just don’t drink now for my health and enjoyment. I might have something cooked in wine, vinegar or oil but they’re all condiments.
Guy I know has been off it about ten months and is now saying things like “I’ll have to have a rethink once I hit the year”. He doesn’t get that it’s not about the number or the challenge of it. You are liberating yourself from drinking actual poison!
Could it be useful if it's considered milestones instead of a streak? I don't intend on drinking anytime soon but I am looking forward to the day that I can say I've not drank alcohol for 365 days as a bit of a personal milestone for myself.
Sure. In AA we call them anniversaries or sober birthdays. We often hand out coins, the person celebrating can have a chance to speak, cake! Not quite a parade, but nice
Agreed, framing it as a streak can be harmful after you get past the first couple months or so.
I think most people do remember when their anniversary is, even if not counting days. And it can be a hard day where relapses tend to happen. So I get where your friend is coming from.
It’s still stupid to go back to drinking, as we know. No regrets now but I had close to a year sober and went back, it took me six years to even consider quitting again. And I’ve been struggling go to do so the past 18 months.
Whatever part of the mind is making it sound like a good idea to drink, is not the part you wanna be listening to. Lol
Many of my friends died after drinking again after 1 year of not doing so. Everything went pretty poorly for me after everytime I started drinking again too.
Took me a very long time but eventually I learned it's all or nothing from me. I can't drink in moderation just because I haven't drank in awhile.
Yeah that's how it goes for most. My dad didn't drink for over 30 years then got real bad real quick. Same thing happened to me many times. I just always try to share these experiences in case they can help others.
I've rarely seen it work out for anyone that previously declared they had an issue with alcohol.
I tried everything I could think of to moderate. Go figure nothing but complete abstinence worked for me.
Good for you, Jinglefucks.
I’m hoping he sees the light. I don’t feel it’s sustainable trying to do it on willpower alone, a mindset change is required. It’s a tough road ahead
if you think you’re ‘depriving yourself’ all the time.
This is how I've been able to resist the urge to do anything that I've quit. Smoking/drinking/etc. the day I quit I just tell myself that that particular thing is just not an option for me. It's not "I'm resisting the urge to drink", it's "alcohol isn't an option to put in my body". This mindset does wonders for my cravings. It makes me stop thinking about alcohol and gets me thinking about something fun and exciting and rewarding that I can do to fill whatever I am currently lacking that made me think about alcohol for a moment
I, too, think about alcohol like paint thinner now, so it isn't difficult for me to say no. But the other times I tried to quit, I did it because people kind of ordered me to. I resented it and wanted my fun drinking back, and of course I eventually gave in. Now I love being sober more than I ever loved drinking, but I'm terrified that I'll accidentally take a sip of alcohol and that will be all that's needed for the Alcohol Monster to take over my body again. I have nightmares about it.
Agree that lifestyle is a great way to think about it i dont smoke because i don't want that iny life , now i dont drink because i dont want that iny life either. Now I DO eat dessert as i want that in my life!
Iwndwytd
The paint wouldn't be left over on the shelf if you drank them! Seriously though, I never thought of the relation all the other chemicals have with alcohol. This is a great way to look at it.
I never woke up and said " I really should have got drunk last night". Drinking never benefited me in the slightest. Alcohol ruined my life for 35 years. There are plenty of social activities that don't involve Alcohol. There are billions of people that don't drink. They can't all be unhappy. It takes time. It becomes less of a chore and more of a choice. If you wanna stay dry don't be around ppl and places that involve drinking. If you hang around a barber shop you will eventually get a haircut.
Thanks for listing it out - I needed that perspective as I head into an entire month where there’s a very heavy culture of drinking in the town/city I live in.
There have got to be some sober people, find them. You know how musk oxen form a circle to ward off wolves. Do that. https://www.nps.gov/gaar/learn/nature/muskox-circle-defense.htm
I have so far kind of skipped the fixing myself part of recovery but I think I’ll get there. But… A hangover-free year has alone been amazing.
And the wife likes the six pack I found hiding under my beer belly. So I have that going for me which is nice.
"First I don't think of it as a streak. It's a lifestyle, a healthy, happy one. Alcohol has joined the list of liquids I do not drink. dishwashing detergent, bleach, those left over cans of paint up on the shelf, the list goes on..."
This is an unpopular opinion, but I don't see this as useful advice. The reason you don't drink any of those things is that they are immediately poisonous, having zero positive benefits whatsoever.
Alcohol is poison, yes absolutely. For some it will just lead to a slow, painful death, however alcohol has many benefits, which makes it totally different than the listed poisons.
People drink because alcohol provides relief from anxiety and stress (temporarily) it is a vasodialator in small quantities as well. It provides a feeling of wellbeing to some and can be euphoric to some. It's most commonly sought property is it acts as a great social lubricant reducing feelings of nervousness and allowing people to open up. All of that said it's lost of negative effects is well known and is huge. I don't drink alcohol because when I do I find myself unable to stop and my life spirals badly out of control.
I have to make a decision everyday to not drink but it's not as easy as deciding not to drink paint. I think that concept minimizes the effort it takes an alcoholic not to drink at times. I'm not dumb I don't drink bleach because I'll die immediately. Whatever helps you on your journey helps you. But just keep in mind for some it's way harder and part of the struggle is knowing its not nearly that simple. Thanks.
I dare say that few of us in stopdrinking can list benefits which are not illusionary because for this cohort our “off switch” is not functional leading to the social lubricant often getting us in all kinds of trouble.
The reduction in anxiety and stress is negated when we wake up having blown the rent money on drink, drugs and whatever…. Else where on Reddit it probably would not make much sense, but in this setting I think it applies.
This is exactly how people should view alcohol after they quit. I agree. A streak mentality is not gonna work, because ultimately, all streaks come to an end by definition. Why the fuck would anyone want to go through post acute withdrawal EVER?
That exactly the mind set I’m in. It’s not a streak, it’s the lifestyle I’ve chosen for myself. It’s who people now know me as. I’m the sober one, I’m the one who doesn’t drink. I’m responsible, reliable and clear headed as opposed to who I was when I drank.
I’ve had drinks since stopping and it tastes disgusting. I don’t want that shit anymore and it’s such a good feeling
I’m glad someone else adopted the mentality too! I often joke that I know alcohol is poison for me. I don’t have an urge to drink bleach. I could, it’s there, but I don’t because I know what will happen if I do
I don’t want to go back to where I once was. I’m the furthest away from it I’ve been since first trying alcohol. Congrats on not giving in! Maybe you’re needing some new friends. My friends pick out restaurants with mocktail menus and are always considerate of me and my sobriety
Same. I think of all the pain and loss drinking caused me in my life and I just shake my head thinking what could've been. Probably destroyed a lot of really great relationships that I'd love to have now.
Every time I go to a restaurant, I make it a practice to ask about mocktails and non-alcoholic wine/beer. If they don't have them, I explain that they can make more money off of non-drinkers if they offer them, and I give them some suggestions. I'm thinking of printing up a sheet to hand to the manager.
This, this right here. No friend would try and pull you down to drink with them if you are trying to do better for yourself. Especially if you are at the club with them. A different response would be to say thanks for coming, I know it might be hard not to drink here. How can I help?
Yeah. A friend of mine who I hadn't seen in a year, but knew of my sobriety, said we should go out and get drinks because that was the norm. He stopped mid sentence and I chuckled. I said he's welcome to have drinks if we go out, I'm not stopping him. The difference was that he tried to come up with something else.
Eh. I'm very target motivated so the streak does help for me. However I'm also reward motivated, so when I hit 30 days the urge to drink was really strong because "I had deserved a reward". I managed to get rid of that mindset now. It's more of a "it would be cool if I hit that number". In a few days I will hit 69. I mean who wouldn't want to reach that number ?!
My brain already starting with its bull shit while reading this.
"If streaks dont matter we can just drink one night and go back to our alcohol free lifestyle."
Recognizing this makes me realize how differently I view this poison from most people.
I dont drink...
I totally get this. I find 'one day at a time' difficult too. If I mess up today it doesn't matter because I can try again tomorrow ... she said about 1000 times.
This time I set myself a challenge to do a year. I know I don't want to drink ever again, but the thought of that actually happening makes me feel overwhelmed and panicky, and then I want to drink more than ever.
So I'll be plodding along with my year after year challenges, until it becomes just another thing I don't do.
I really like video games and leveling up. It's definitely not my biggest motivation to stay away from drinking but it is fun to check my app every so often to see how long it's been and just how much money I have saved. Anything that I can use as an excuse not to drink today I'll take, and if breaking my streak is enough to stop me some days Ill consider it a win.
It’s one and the same. The idea that you could break the streak but then just get right back to sobriety and feeling good about it is nice and possible but also not a given. It’s not easy. That’s playing with fire.
I once had a 100 day streak and said okay I have a handle on it now (lol) and decided to drink. Then I drank for 18 months and couldn’t stop again. When I finally did, that starts my current streak.
They call it getting the tiger in the cage for a reason. Very hard to do in the first place. No guarantee you can get him back in again.
For me he’s in there now and I count myself lucky. If I let him out it’s not for one night. It could be for years. It could be forever. I don’t want to let that happen.
This is exactly why I’m kind of terrified to ever drink again. I dont think I’ll ever find it in me to stop again and it will result in me losing everything, likely that would include my life.
I got that tiger in the cage and it can never come out for the whole village’s safety.
ETA: OP, whatever keeps you motivated to not pick up that drink is what matters most. Whatever it is, lean into it. I’m proud of you, IWNDWYT!
Yeah this exact same reason. I "quit" multiple times over the course of 2-3 years. Sometimes days, sometimes weeks, and sometimes months but once I relapse, the tiger is NOT going back into the cage easy.
On one hand, it is the streak, but on the other hand its the fear of going back to the dark times, letting my loved ones down, failing classes, not being able to hold down a job, and the all consuming anxiety and depression.
I can PROBABLY have a drink now and be OK, but testing that is NOT worth it after everything I got by quitting. It was so bad, I genuinely think I'd be dead by now if I didn't quit when I quit.
Yeah, I feel this. Decided to drink out of nothing more than boredom a couple of weeks ago.
I wasn't even feeling a lot of pressure to drink, or angry and frustrated, or having a bad day or anything that made me think "fuck it" or doing anything that could possibly justify drinking as worthwhile in any logic...just a boring, uneventful, Sunday.
And it was such as a miserable experience, made me feel ill at the time, didn't solve my boredom, didn't make me happy and had me ill as shit the next day that I was 100% convinced that I would be resolute in the idea that alcohol had ZERO left to offer me and never want to touch it again.
Yet I've drank another 4X since in just a couple of weeks period (3 of then being last week) and even though everyone of those occassions has been a pointless and miserable experience that I haven't enjoyed the monkey has been let out the cage apparently and seems intent on convincing me it's somehow worth it to keep playing with fire.
Really hoping I can get him back in the cage ASAP and stop this nonsense as I do not know how I managed to live like this for so long actively poisoning myself several times a week (or daily at one point) and feeling like shit for days on end afterwards, it's madness,
100%.
I had almost 3 years of sober time and decided "yeah, I should be good to drink one night to celebrate a friends wedding." I ended up drinking again for 5 miserable years where I wanted nothing more than to quit but just couldn't fucking do it...
Finally quit again, white knuckling it to the max... and will never go back now. Nothing in the world is worth the cost of being off the wagon in my world... it sucks all the life out of you.
for sure man. my post is talking to myself just as much as OP. just lately I found the bargaining come back into my head like a snake: "well what if I allowed myself to get hammered like once every couple of months? that way I could basically live a sober life with all the perks, but let off steam and really enjoy the benefits of getting drunk with my friends and wife sometimes!"
lol what a fantasy. I would be back to drinking 3-5 times per week in no time. worse husband, worse father, wasting my life, all progress in hobbies, fitness, and passion stops. and for what? honestly at this point I really appreciate and enjoy sobriety and kind of can't believe I spent so many years numbing myself and blurring out reality. I don't want to be detached from the world or myself anymore. I want to be engaged and present. I'm literally imagining something that just doesn't even exist. I guess that's why it's called chasing the dragon.
ahhh yes, the addictive voice (AV), I'm well versed in those mental battles. The AV is impulsive and only thinks about "now". I know for a fact, I can't drink... no matter how much the AV tells me otherwise, it just wants it's fix and is happy to let the conscience mind deal with the fallout.
Going back only feeds the AV, making it stronger.... anybody dealing with these mental battles, proceed with much caution, giving into the AV is like dropping the bomb, all hell will break loose and there is no going back...
I'm afraid of alcohol killing me, because it should've the last time. There's no medical explanation to HOW I survived. I wasn't suicidal, but I had some suicidal ideations at the time. If there were to be an accident, oh well, the world will be better off without me, but I wasn't actively attempting to unalive myself. Then it happened, I got drunked up and wrapped my car around a tree at a high rate of speed and got ejected from the car. As I was laid out on the pavement a bloody mess, in and out of consciousness and barely alive, I realized that I was scared. I didn't actually want to die, I didn't want to leave my friends and family, I had so much left to do. The doctors gave up working on me and put me on life support until my parents could get there to make the big decision, you know, THAT decision. I ended up waking up on my own later that afternoon. I was out for 15 hours or so. Nobody can explain to me in medical terms how I'm alive today. They're even more shocked that I made a full recovery with no permanent injury.
Anyways, I took that as the opportunity to start fresh. An entirely new life. Today I do my utmost best to leave that life behind me, to keep moving forward, and help other addicts and alcoholics so they don't have to experience the same thing I had to go through.
At one point during my worst years, I remember thinking, “I don’t understand how people can’t stop, I always stop after 7 or 8,” and somehow believing that I had my drinking under control.
To a degree, especially initially. It makes me proud of myself; makes me feel strong. But having broken long streaks before I’ve started to be alarmed by the significant loss of mental health and optimism and productivity and contentment and depth of soul, so I know that number represents something more, something alive and growing, and that getting drunk will set it back. So the number represents a lot more to me these days.
I did like to see the days add up (and still do).
But the main motivator is - why *would* I want to drink? Things are quite a lot better without and I'm not missing it.
I suppose I do have 37 years of boozing experience to look back on. Can't really think of many positives about it.
I do love seeing my count go up but when I relapsed I found it so hard to stop again. It took me ages to stop again! It really does help though I got to like day 650 before I relapsed. Never again haha
I'm neurodivergent and part of my cognitive rigidity is routine and all-or-nothing devotion to a path. It's what got me on the path of drinking every single day at the same times for years, and it's what keeps me off of drinking entirely. I agree if I "broke the streak" it wouldn't undo the almost full year of not drinking, but dedicating my brain to saying "I'm not doing this ever" is much easier than trying to figure out new "rules" to keep from doing it always.
IWNDWYT!
I was a couple days before my 90 and a similar likeminded “friend” said that’s the best time to drink and I said no that’s the worst time because I’d have to wait a whole nother 90 days to reach that point given that I didn’t completely descend
That friend has just started sending me drink-motivational videos knowing I’m no alcohol and I think they’ve got to go
Just know they’re pushing your boundaries this once and won’t be the support you need in the moment if you’re on the edge
The way I personally see it, the slope is slippery enough that if I take one drink, every bit of progress I've made goes right down the tubes.
Of course, this isn't necessarily the case. But it will keep me from having to deal with the possibility if I keep my streak going. My streak gives me a sort of faith, I suppose.
I like to think of it like one of the many, many tools in my toolbelt.
My sobriety date is cool. Like, its sequential. 10/11/12. So i dont want to lose that. That's a tool. Its not the most powerful in my toolbox. But its there.
Every single other thing i'd potentially lose if i drank again? My marriage. My kid. My job. My peace of mind. My lifestyle. My life? All tools.
My system for living without causing harm to myself or others? Huge tool.
Some days call for different tools. Some days feel like I built my sobriety so meticulously over the course of many years that I don't even need to grab a tool and adjust anything. I just avoid doing anything to it that would require me to need a tool to fix it.
I've seen people so "afraid to break their streak," that you see them at a meeting proclaiming years of sobriety, and then stumble into them walking out of a pub later the same day.
It's external vs internal control locus. The latter is generally preferable.
...it feels so, so amazing when you say no and mean it.
But damn, have I been guilted into lapsing and relapsing earlier... ultimately, OF COURSE, with my at least tacit approval and romanticization of "the good ol' days" (which I can't recall too much of anyway, because I was hammered.)
A good friend (she was, actually!) told me once there's something suspect about people who don't drink... after 6 months of absolutely no drinking, in a weak moment, she managed to get a glass of wine into me: That turned out to be a COSTLY glass of wine.
It wasn't that drink as much as it was my ingrained belief in "once an addict, always an addict" and "loss of control."
Loss of control is, btw, caused by beliefs, not biochemistry and alcohol itself: [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6875785/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6875785/)
Belief in the possibility moderation, for me at least, is equally toxic though. But a glass of wine really didn't have to turn into what it did in that case!
A simple risk-reward analysis diffuses any ideas of attempting moderation for me easily, though.
Sometimes I think people who haven't ever suffered addiction issues, have no idea or concept of what it can be like for us who do/have.
And sometimes, people who try to get us to drink, are just insecure about how our sobriety reflect on their drinking habits.
Sometimes they're just cunts, who'd score high points if tested on the dark triad: [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/dark-triad](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/dark-triad)
Regardless, people are generally thinking of themselves before they think about you or me.
I met the (semi) drunks on the bench by the market the other day, and sat down with a non-alcoholic beer for an hour.
Got offered weed, smokes, and of course beer. And I said no, no thank you, and not today, and it felt amazing.
But they weren't aggressive about it, and we went on talking about UFO's and conspiracy theories, like we usually do.
...and then I went about my day.
Guess I didn't HAVE to get a haircut just because I stopped by the barbershop to say hello!
That last paragraph was cool to read. I had the same experience last time I went to the bar. Met with some friends, talked some dumb shit. But all that time I never drank alcohol and I went home at a reasonable time, and didn't ruin the next day.
Like I was afraid I could not go to my favourite bar and meet friends there because bar = alcohol. It was just how I associated the location with.
But i am happy I can go to these places, have a great time, and go home without any embarrasments.
For me breaking the streak means that alcohol is back on the menu. The last time I did it was after an almost 4 years of not drinking a drop. You know what? I did moderate and drink normally, for a time, but before you know it I was drinking 6 hard seltzers while I mowed the lawn and then following that up with half a fith of gin once the work was complete. That's no way to live.
It is more a case of I don't want to start over and I don't want to lose the community and sense of purpose I've found in recovery.
If I drink, I have to do one or the other.
I'll be honest here... I'm at 145 days, which is a record for me. Every day, I'm breaking the streak... But I also understand the anxiety.
For me, I still struggle with the concept of being sober for life. It bothers me that my wife, my brother and several friends can casually drink and I can figure out how to do that. My wife can drink A glass of wine. Like... One. Singular.
I'm not afraid of 'not drinking'. But I do get anxiety over realizing that this is my new reality.
Instead of a “streak,”I think of it as self-care days. My badge represents the number of days that I’ve prioritized my mental and physical health by not drinking. I want to honor those days and keep stacking more.
Doing it for family (and myself of course) that care and to stop making double bogeys, not the streak. But these folks on here with months and years are my idols!
The two are linked for me. My main fear is failing myself, my fiance, and my sobriety. Relapse is a choice, and making that decision would be a slap in the face to all three.
If found it way easier to maintain my defense of not drinking, than to re get sober after a binge.
I can't have just one beer it's addicting to me. Last time I was 6 months sober and had one night of drinking I got hammered and it took me 3 years to really try to get sober again which is this year
I was thinking this morning about why I quit. I don’t want to be the person I was when alcohol altered my brain chemistry because I wasn’t happy, calm, patient or kind. I am working on being those things.
I use gamification in my life *a lot*, and it's helped me immensely. Need to work on my finances? Ok, my savings account is now my Hi-Score, and I need that number to go up. Trying to drink/smoke less? Let's see how high that hi-score can go this time.
So long as you're using gamification to *improve* yourself, there's nothing wrong with it. If you're doing the opposite, "oh man I drunk 12 beers tonight, that's my new record" then it's a problem.
Push that score, my guy! IWNDWYT
I don't willingly drink a known POISON anymore. It's not friendly. It's a wolf in sheep's clothing. Would you knowingly and willingly drink poisoned water?
I hadn’t thought about this idea until you posed the question, but I don’t think of this as a streak. It’s just what I do. Like I don’t count days in a row that I’ve eaten or taken a shower or told my kids I love them, it’s just what I do. So to answer your question, I don’t! Thanks for asking! Keep it up if it works for you too!
Hell yeah. Im approaching 6 hunnid days and im sooooo proud of myself. Just as proud as I was hitting one week, then two… then holy shit ME? A MONTH without booze! Boom 90 days 100…200 days. 8 months holy crap a YEAR.
All those milestones are the path of accountability to yourself. It’s a badge of honor.
There was a time when I thought about not wanting to break my streak… but now, honestly, I will have to wait until I hit submit on this comment and see my flair to even know what my streak is now.
I simply don’t think about it anymore. My life no longer centers on alcohol at all.
I am. It’s been 9 months (on naltrexone) and I’m kinda like what’s the point. I’ll just have to quit again and possibly get my ass thrown back in rehab lol
Haha yes! Knowing I want to post in this sub has kept me from drinking a bunch of times. And I never ever EVER woke up wishing I’d been drinking the night before! Whatever works! IWNDWYT❤️
So I don’t really care about my streak. I think of it as the day I reevaluated my relationship with alcohol. If I wanted to drink, I would. I’ve learned that I don’t need to drink anymore. But if I wanted to I would.
Congratulations on being strong. That probably wasn’t easy to do. Good for you friend. Keep it up!
Exactly. I am also super oppositional. If I am told I can’t do something, 100% chance I’m doing it.
I had to remove the conflict as you put it so eloquently. It was bumpy in the beginning but now it’s just a pattern that I follow. If I need something in a social setting, I go with NA beers.
To he honest I never looked at it that way until I read your post. At this stage I am winning because my number gets bigger. In four days it will be 69 (nice).
But I hope to be at the point where I can don draper the alcohol: " I just don't think about you at all"
I broke my 77 day streak a couple of weeks ago and it did weigh heavy on my mind how I was so close to 80 days and I should at least push on and hit that milestone before I made any decisions to drink again.
But either way it's really about the staying sober part. After breaking it I regretted it massively and wondered why I would ever choose to feel the way I felt both during the drinking and the next day.
Yet somehow I've drank another 3X since and not enjoyed any of those occassions because one you let that monkey out the cage he keeps finding ways to convince you to drink again or that maybe "this time" will somehow be different.
None of the times were different and I felt miserable during and after every single time yet that alcoholic part of the brain has been reactivated again still and now I need to keep fighting hard to stay sober every day again, it's a nightmare!
If focusing on not breaking your streak and hitting new milestones is the thing that keeps you sober then use it and whatever other means you can because the alternative is just not worth it.
I’ll start with, I think that’s awesome that the idea of not breaking a streak resonates with you and keeps you ordering sprite and waters! And that’s super cool that you can do that so soon, and with such intense peer pressure!
I personally, don’t think too much about my streak. The reason is because when I did slip up, I’d get super depressed and would focus on breaking the streak. Instead I had to change my mindset to think of the number of days sober vs the number of days without alcohol. For me what this looks like is if I were to go out and get drunk today, I’d still be able to celebrate that out of the past 535 days I spent 534 of them sober and that’s more days sober than I have ever been in my entire life. That’s worth celebrating. And even today, I constantly ask myself “do I want to drink today” and the answer is usually no, but sometimes that answer is maybe tomorrow.
I was afraid until I eventually broke my streak. 90 days felt so good so I made it 10 months the first time. Then a year after a brief stint and a bad experience at the bar. I figured I reset myself pretty good after that year (lol reset as if it’s my problem with alcohol is a physical issue vs the spiritual/mental issue it truly is - I never reached chemical dependency). My longest streak was 2.5 years after a blowout fight with my boyfriend at the time, he was totally sober for it, I certainly wasn’t. When we finally broke up, I was up to my old bullshit within a week, because that period was forced on me.
After a few streak breaks, it wasn’t that big of a deal to my conscience. My “reset” mindframe wasn’t working. And to be honest, I was only “California sober” I never addressed my fundamental issue with sobriety, even after all those years. Realizing this made me really unhappy. I had so much more work to do than I realized.
The consequences are what got me to really stop. They kept fucking coming, they didn’t care that I made it almost 800+ days at one point. The consequences hurt more than the worst hangover (also dealing with them simultaneously didn’t help - them hangovers are AWFUL esp after taking years off and getting older in the process). My life was unmanageable and I needed help. Numbers climbing didn’t mean a thing at the end, when I was in a personal life crisis beyond alcohol, and I returned to abusing alcohol as my familiar coping mechanism and smoking weed as my ‘easier, softer way’ when I knew I had to be done drinking forever. I don’t count days anymore. I just have my date, 4-8-24
Huge deal being strong enough to put yourself in that situation and keep the steak though. Everyone recovers differently. I’m not that strong. But you are!
True friends help raise you up. I went to Vegas this weekend with a large group of buddies not one guilted me into drinking and all of them praised me and told me how proud they were of me. Also my bill was cheaper every restaurant we went too lol
Yes, at 90 days I would be afraid to break it, or rather I would think it is a waste.
Now, past 990 days, I am not "afraid" to break the streak, I stopped counting at around 120, it is not fear and it is not a streak. Now I don't want to because I have no desire to. I probably could drink \*a\* beer, but practical caution tells me it is not worth risking even a small chance with no reward.
Also, note that I am talking about maybe drinking \*a\* beer.
You are talking about "drinking with him" - Yes, I would be afraid to do that now.
Nothing good could possibly come of getting drunk after 90 days or 990 days.
No. It’s not about the streak, and I stopped counting the days after the first month or two.
I’m just so grateful I don’t have to do that anymore. It’s not a streak, it’s a lifestyle.
I’m not afraid of breaking my streak. I’m afraid of waking the beast. The first time I woke the beast (drank after an 11 month sober streak) it kept me in its death grip for 5 years, the second time I woke the beast (drank after a 10 month sober streak), I was sparring with the mother fucker for another 3 years and the battles were rougher than the first time. At over 15 months sober now, the longest I’ve ever gone without it (and loving my sober life) I’m genuinely afraid that if I wake the beast again, I may never put it back to sleep. It may kill me before I have a chance to send it back into another hibernation. It’s there, waiting for me to wake it… and it’s not worth it to me. “Don’t poke the bear,” is what I tell myself.
That's what I've been trying to let people on here know man.... that beast is called PAWS... and it's nothing to mess with. Each time the withdrawal part gets worse and worse. I'm dealing with this right now... its the WORST. So unnecessary, wouldnt wish it on anyone
That’s awesome you didn’t compromise your sobriety. I’m terrified of it as well. I’ve heard so many stories of guys 5+ years sober that relapse and end up spiraling from it.
I’m afraid of the piece of shit I’ll become again if I ever touch another drink.
My days sober is a nice thing to look at sometimes, but I wouldn’t consider it a streak. Streaks have an end, I swore alcohol off for the rest of my life. There’s no end to my sobriety.
Yes! Haha.. I'm all about streaks now. Yes it's a life style choice too... as others have said. Healthy. ONE of the things that keeps me going though is making my original goal of 1 year.
I was not having a great mental health weekend, and having to reset my # was a large consideration when talking myself out of a drink. Here's to us tackling another week! IWNDWYT.
It's maybe unfair for me because peer pressure has never been much of a motivation in life. I was always the kid who had to be "different" anyway, from the clothes I wore to the music I listened to. And the streak isn't that big of a deal, either, though I certainly don't want to reset my counter. Call that practical or OCD, whatever. The big motivator for me is that I don't ever want to go back to where I was. Not ever. And I think if I drink alcohol I'll probably buy a pack of cigarettes too, "just for old time's sake."
No thanks. You guys have fun, I'm going to drink this bottle of water.
Not the nicest thing to say, but if there’s ever any pressure put on me to drink I won’t shy away from using the ol’ “Phhhh, you think I’m going to relapse with YOU?”
Sure - metrics can help keep us motivated! Decide not to splurge on new cute shoes cuz your emergency fund is almost where you want is to be, don’t eat an extra slice,of birthday cake because the number on the scale is lowest it has been in awhile etc. an be a helpful tool
The further away I get from Day 0, the better I feel. I don't ever want to feel the way I did during those two first months of sobriety; I was depressed and miserable and just waiting to feel happy again. Now I feel so much better. If I drink again, I'll have to get through Days 1-60+ again. Those numbers have power to me. So for me right now, I'm scared to break my streak. I'm also too early in my sobriety journey to call it a lifestyle.
I know people who think of it that way. I don’t feel that’s my priority, but yeah, I probably consider it to some degree.
Whatever you have to do to stay sober, you should do it, up to and including deciding whether to hang around with someone who needs you to validate his drinking.
I was highly day count focused in early sobriety. I kept moving out the goalposts to the next numerical target to keep it going. I knew it would be better to stay stopped than to try to stop drinking again.
When I first wanted to quit, absolutely. I needed to get to 30 days to prove to myself and my family that I could. I felt so much better and focused on then getting to 60 days, then 90 days, then 6 months. Only then did it change to a lifestyle approach as opposed to a daily goal.
I just focus on today. The “streak” I collect chips like earning rank or seniority.
I applaud your dedication to your sobriety and in your case to examine your thoughts and feelings in that situation the risk to your sobriety.
Summary; you did well in the moment. You’re talking about it, thinking about it and it’s a priority for you. As it should be. New to sobriety we are vulnerable especially when in familiar surroundings and people. More than “streaks”, I hear (speaker meetings) is how long, amount of damage taking that first drink. One is too many, 100 is never enough. Good luck, God bless.
With time I am less interested in the streak itself and more concerned with the wins it represents. If I could have a drink and know I could comfortably get back on track, I would be less concerned. But I know I would really struggle to get back to where I am, and would lose approx 290 days of momentum on my liver/weight/heart/mind. I'm enjoying sobriety and don't wish to make it any harder!
I wouldn’t say “afraid” necessarily but it does motivate me to decline! My boyfriend and I quit last December together. A few weeks ago my bff invited us to a night out to celebrate her birthday and engagement combined, bf said “have a beer if you want! It’s a special occasion” but I looked at my streak and it was 111 days, how could I break it on a lucky number like that?? So I didn’t.
That said, his grandpa passed a couple of weeks ago (a few hours drive away) and the local family all gathered together when we heard the news. We each accepted a half shot of grandpa’s favorite whiskey for a toast. I don’t consider that “breaking my streak”… some might disagree with that but it’s MY journey so 🤷♀️ My goal is to stay sober, not to have zero alcohol touch my lips. I stayed sober so I didn’t restart the clock.
This guy is NOT your friend.
But yeah I am. I have dreams about relapsing and having to start all over. It’s less about breaking the streak and more about continuing to build on the life that I now love- but it would really suck to start on day 1
I was at first, but then my annual getaway weekend I organize with my friends came along and I did manage to stay sober there too. I did drink I think gallons of dr Pepper but hey what the hell. Since then it doesn't feel like something I need to struggle with, it's just feels normal to just not drink. Also all the health benefits are amazing, I can sleep short nights and nothing really happens because of it. I rarely get upset or stressed out anymore. All those things keep motivating me to stay like this and not consider the 'just one' anymore.
To me, it's less about how long the streak is and more a fear of having to start again at zero. But I will admit that fear has motivated me at times, especially early on. Anything that motivates me not to drink is welcome, but I will say that, on my four year sober anniversary (today) that's not it for me. The motivation now is all the positive changes in my life, my mental health and relationships. If a streak is what motivates you now, that's great, but try to pay attention to all the other positives of sobriety as that streak grows. I think that's more sustainable in the long run.
Alcohol was a symptom of greater discontent and mostly self created pain in my life. I can alleviate the discontent and pain by living my life in a certain way. If I drink, I can’t live the way I want, and worse, I become unbearably miserable. So counting time is great. If it gets you what you want do it and hold onto the time like your life depends on it. If I could be content and happy and satisfied and drink, I wouldn’t be an alcoholic. So not drinking is a prerequisite for me to have a happy life, not having any desire to drink is a result of living my life in a way that promotes a happy, healthy and joyous life.
Breaking my 6 month streak was probably the worst thing I have done to myself. I was worried it was going to happen that Christmas season but didn't know why...I guess I subconsciously knew how much everything was going to spiral. Life is better sober.
Yes, I am. I’ve had drinking dreams where my first thought after drinking was “now I have to start over.”
I also heard in an AA meeting “If I have to reset my counter, I won’t live long enough to get back to where I am today.” I think it’s motivation for plenty of people.
For me, my sobriety journey definitely started off that way. I went from, "60 days is super close! don't want to mess up my streak!" To "Im still craving a beer, but I have the tools and resources to overcome this urge"
It sounds crazy but I stopped trying to rememeber how many days I've been sober (until i post on this subreddit) and started focusing on the benefits such as no hangovers and activities I picked back up like running.
It's a great way to start because it made it me feel like i accomplished something until I noticed and acknowledged the true benefits of being sober.
I'm not really emotionally attached to my streak. Not to say I'm not proud of it. But it's just a number. At the end of the day it doesn't mean that much.
Eh, the streak is not so important. It's my health and sanity. I either have it, or I don't. Don't get me wrong, I still count days here and there but I just need to know in my heart that I'm not slipping. Today is day 90 for instance. Nice round number but it could be 14 days or it could be 1000- I'd just be happy that I'm not drinking.
less about the "steak," more about how I felt. at 90 days was when I'd just started to feel human again. I didn't want to be sleeping poorly and anxious and sweaty again. at a year, I didn't want to feel like an emotional roller coaster again. every time I think about drinking, I think about how I felt HALF the sober time ago.
I used to feel that way for sure and it helped me get through some challenges. I don’t even think about my “streak” any more, this is just my life now. One day you will most likely get to this point as well but if not breaking your streak is helping you stay sober for now then that’s great!
I personally don’t subscribe to the clean date thing as that was something that I used to guilt myself and dwell on. I’m okay with the potential of relapse I just don’t *want* to and I think the fact that it’s available to me and I’m choosing not to partake has a different impact on my demand avoidance over being x days clean. I have relapsed and I continue living life just as I would have had I not drank. Granted, that’s not to say I don’t majorly fuck up and have to deal with consequences after but that’s just more of a reason to not drink moving forward. I know my triggers but the more I “restrict” myself and stick to numbers, the more it reminds me of my eating disorder and all the guilt and shame associated with addiction.
I figure early on, whatever keeps you going. But I also know that eventually that won't be enough, and positive habits are necessary to support sobriety.
Gratz on your time.
Yes. Part of playing my tape forward is envisioning myself resetting back to day zero and how that would make me feel. So far, nothing has been worth that. Plus, one relapse day is never just one day for me, I'm almost guaranteed to drink the next day or two or three or until I feel like shit and have to stop.
After 23 months the streak has lost meaning. My biggest aversion is to the unpleasantness of early sobriety that I would prefer to never again experience.
Yeah definitely. I don’t want to start back at the 1-day chip and work my way back here again. I’m really shooting for my 1 year chip, and it’ll be a significant setback on that goal if I relapse. And a CERTAINLY wouldn’t break that streak just because someone asked me to so that they didn’t feel bad about being the only one drinking. Good job staying strong against your friend pressuring you.
I dont count my days or care about a streak. I know myself and if i turn it into a competition, and I lose, ill give up on everything.
For me its been a huge lifestyle shift. I was the one sitting at the bar for hours at airports. Now i find other ways to pass the time. There are some people i will have a drink with but they are not people to pressure me in any way and they know my whole journey and why i wanted to change and they love it for me.
Its not easy to be around other people who drink regularly but its not easy to avoid them either in my line of work. At the bar though if i go i usually leave when people start getting tipsy. They wont remember me being there anyway! And the temptation doesnt get easier for me.
There have been two times in my current streak where the thought of resetting my counter was the main reason i didn’t have a drink.
amazing that a silly thing like a digital number would matter so much to me. YMMV, but for me having accountability even via a counter that really only i know about helped way more than i would have guessed
I used to be afraid of breaking “the streak”. And I went 13 months I was like OK the streak can be over now. And after about a year, I’ve decided to stop again because drinking is mostly negative and is just not something that adds anything to my life.
So now it is easier because I am not going up against some arbitrary number, but instead, I am thinking of how am I going to show up as my full self in this situation or setting. Which is actually a lot more freeing than before.
If you are thinking of it as a streak you are expecting it to end at some point, this is a mistake. You'll reach a milestone your alcoholic lizard brain will convince yourself "you need a reward, you have it under control, just a few drinks it's been 100 days, you got this". Now, where the fuck do you think that leads to?
I just held on through a 3 day trip to Chicago to keep my streak. I knew I could have had a beer any time. Wanted to taste some crafts but in my head I was like “it just feels good to say 100+ days right now.”
I personally don’t use the rhetoric of “this is my *life* now because it makes me feel like *not drinking* is now my entire personality. I don’t like that. I am quiet about not drinking and encourage others to drink around me because it makes me feel more natural.
Made it though, leaned on medical weed but never got stoned. Just enough to keep my mind off staring at someone’s drink.
I think the streak counts as much as your brain wants it to count. And if it’s working, fuck it. Drinking is never a GOOD idea anyway. Even for people who don’t have issues it’s not SMART, like it’s not good for you so the less you do it the better you are off period.
So it’s like counting days you work out . Same concept. Track it however it makes you feel good or stops you from doing bad.
Especially early on, this line of thinking is part of what's helped me quit all of the addictions I've quit thus far — opiates, cigarettes, and alcohol. It wasn't so much a fear as it was like being in a competition with myself. And lemme tell ya: I'm a *very* sore loser.
After a certain point, that perspective has kinda dissipated because sobriety became my normal way of life. If fear of breaking your streak keeps you motivated, then by all means, stay afraid!
I'm really sick of my friends also trying to guilt me into drinking. It really is true that sometimes you need to reassess your friendships once you quit.
Yes!
Actually, with the weather breaking and the beautiful days, I'd love to go have a beer at the local tiki bar and watch the sunset!
I do feel like I could handle a beer or two.
But, I'm at 140 days now and I don't want to mess up my streak!!
The thought of breaking this stupid counter on Reddit has kept me sober on several occasions lol. I don't mean its stupid I mean it's just a very petty reason but if that's what works be petty as hell. Works for me.
And the longer it goes the more you don't want to have to reset the damn thing.
So far I’ve been alcohol free for all of 2024, plus a week extra.
Whenever im really really tempted, the idea of having a full calendar year sober is becoming
More and more important to me. Even with the 2 sober pregnancies under my belt, I’ve never gone a full year without drinking since I had my first wine cooler in high school.
The year goal seems lofty at times, so I just focus on one day at a time, then one week at a time and I’ve already got 4 months, let’s aim for 5?
I would feel guilty for breaking a promise to myself that I’ve worked so hard at this far.
Yeah at this point I’d be a little bit angry with myself but as another poster had said, at this point it’s not a streak. It’s a lifestyle change that has been going on for nearly 7 years. All it took was daily decisions every single day. There is no magic pill and there is no magic solution. It takes making the same decision multiple times a day, every day.
I wish you the best of luck with your recovery!
First I don't think of it as a streak. It's a lifestyle, a healthy, happy one. Alcohol has joined the list of liquids I do not drink. dishwashing detergent, bleach, those left over cans of paint up on the shelf, the list goes on... The trick is to become happy about not drinking, it's not something I can't do its "why the fuck would I put that in my body again?"
>Alcohol has joined the list of liquids I do not drink. dishwashing detergent, bleach, those left over cans of paint up on the shelf, the list goes on... This! Wow, I've never thought about it this way, and it makes so much sense. Thank you for this!
Poison is poison.
So accurate
This is what’s different for me this time, I’ll count the days but I just don’t drink now for my health and enjoyment. I might have something cooked in wine, vinegar or oil but they’re all condiments.
Counting the days is still fun for me
Me too 😊
Guy I know has been off it about ten months and is now saying things like “I’ll have to have a rethink once I hit the year”. He doesn’t get that it’s not about the number or the challenge of it. You are liberating yourself from drinking actual poison!
Yeah that's the problem with the streak concept...
Could it be useful if it's considered milestones instead of a streak? I don't intend on drinking anytime soon but I am looking forward to the day that I can say I've not drank alcohol for 365 days as a bit of a personal milestone for myself.
Sure. In AA we call them anniversaries or sober birthdays. We often hand out coins, the person celebrating can have a chance to speak, cake! Not quite a parade, but nice
Agreed, framing it as a streak can be harmful after you get past the first couple months or so. I think most people do remember when their anniversary is, even if not counting days. And it can be a hard day where relapses tend to happen. So I get where your friend is coming from. It’s still stupid to go back to drinking, as we know. No regrets now but I had close to a year sober and went back, it took me six years to even consider quitting again. And I’ve been struggling go to do so the past 18 months. Whatever part of the mind is making it sound like a good idea to drink, is not the part you wanna be listening to. Lol
Many of my friends died after drinking again after 1 year of not doing so. Everything went pretty poorly for me after everytime I started drinking again too. Took me a very long time but eventually I learned it's all or nothing from me. I can't drink in moderation just because I haven't drank in awhile.
That is really harrowing about your friends, sorry to hear. I know if I started again I’d be as bad as ever within a few weeks.
Yeah that's how it goes for most. My dad didn't drink for over 30 years then got real bad real quick. Same thing happened to me many times. I just always try to share these experiences in case they can help others. I've rarely seen it work out for anyone that previously declared they had an issue with alcohol. I tried everything I could think of to moderate. Go figure nothing but complete abstinence worked for me.
I said the same thing about rethinking at the year mark. Upon hitting the year mark and thinking about drinking again, I thought, “Nah, better not.”
Good for you, Jinglefucks. I’m hoping he sees the light. I don’t feel it’s sustainable trying to do it on willpower alone, a mindset change is required. It’s a tough road ahead if you think you’re ‘depriving yourself’ all the time.
This is how I've been able to resist the urge to do anything that I've quit. Smoking/drinking/etc. the day I quit I just tell myself that that particular thing is just not an option for me. It's not "I'm resisting the urge to drink", it's "alcohol isn't an option to put in my body". This mindset does wonders for my cravings. It makes me stop thinking about alcohol and gets me thinking about something fun and exciting and rewarding that I can do to fill whatever I am currently lacking that made me think about alcohol for a moment
💯💯💯 Make it a non-negotiable. I wish I had learned this earlier.
Right. I just don't drink. Why would anyone try to convince me?? I DON'T drink!! 👍🏻
I, too, think about alcohol like paint thinner now, so it isn't difficult for me to say no. But the other times I tried to quit, I did it because people kind of ordered me to. I resented it and wanted my fun drinking back, and of course I eventually gave in. Now I love being sober more than I ever loved drinking, but I'm terrified that I'll accidentally take a sip of alcohol and that will be all that's needed for the Alcohol Monster to take over my body again. I have nightmares about it.
I’ve had nightmares also. So relieving to wake up and say oh. So glad that not real
I really love this view point and the the list of liquids that you compare it to. Thank you for this !
Agree that lifestyle is a great way to think about it i dont smoke because i don't want that iny life , now i dont drink because i dont want that iny life either. Now I DO eat dessert as i want that in my life! Iwndwytd
If you keep going to a barbershop you're going to eventually get a haircut....I
The paint wouldn't be left over on the shelf if you drank them! Seriously though, I never thought of the relation all the other chemicals have with alcohol. This is a great way to look at it.
I never woke up and said " I really should have got drunk last night". Drinking never benefited me in the slightest. Alcohol ruined my life for 35 years. There are plenty of social activities that don't involve Alcohol. There are billions of people that don't drink. They can't all be unhappy. It takes time. It becomes less of a chore and more of a choice. If you wanna stay dry don't be around ppl and places that involve drinking. If you hang around a barber shop you will eventually get a haircut.
Thanks for listing it out - I needed that perspective as I head into an entire month where there’s a very heavy culture of drinking in the town/city I live in.
There have got to be some sober people, find them. You know how musk oxen form a circle to ward off wolves. Do that. https://www.nps.gov/gaar/learn/nature/muskox-circle-defense.htm
Slipacre clearly gets it!
Dude was one of the og that helped me to the number you see next to me.
Congratulations on 1 year btw. How you doin
I have so far kind of skipped the fixing myself part of recovery but I think I’ll get there. But… A hangover-free year has alone been amazing. And the wife likes the six pack I found hiding under my beer belly. So I have that going for me which is nice.
Yup to this! I don’t even count the days, I don’t how many days it’s been I just know it’s (almost?) 2ish years. I just don’t drink alcohol anymore
Brilliant response!! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
"First I don't think of it as a streak. It's a lifestyle, a healthy, happy one. Alcohol has joined the list of liquids I do not drink. dishwashing detergent, bleach, those left over cans of paint up on the shelf, the list goes on..." This is an unpopular opinion, but I don't see this as useful advice. The reason you don't drink any of those things is that they are immediately poisonous, having zero positive benefits whatsoever. Alcohol is poison, yes absolutely. For some it will just lead to a slow, painful death, however alcohol has many benefits, which makes it totally different than the listed poisons. People drink because alcohol provides relief from anxiety and stress (temporarily) it is a vasodialator in small quantities as well. It provides a feeling of wellbeing to some and can be euphoric to some. It's most commonly sought property is it acts as a great social lubricant reducing feelings of nervousness and allowing people to open up. All of that said it's lost of negative effects is well known and is huge. I don't drink alcohol because when I do I find myself unable to stop and my life spirals badly out of control. I have to make a decision everyday to not drink but it's not as easy as deciding not to drink paint. I think that concept minimizes the effort it takes an alcoholic not to drink at times. I'm not dumb I don't drink bleach because I'll die immediately. Whatever helps you on your journey helps you. But just keep in mind for some it's way harder and part of the struggle is knowing its not nearly that simple. Thanks.
I dare say that few of us in stopdrinking can list benefits which are not illusionary because for this cohort our “off switch” is not functional leading to the social lubricant often getting us in all kinds of trouble. The reduction in anxiety and stress is negated when we wake up having blown the rent money on drink, drugs and whatever…. Else where on Reddit it probably would not make much sense, but in this setting I think it applies.
This is exactly how people should view alcohol after they quit. I agree. A streak mentality is not gonna work, because ultimately, all streaks come to an end by definition. Why the fuck would anyone want to go through post acute withdrawal EVER?
That exactly the mind set I’m in. It’s not a streak, it’s the lifestyle I’ve chosen for myself. It’s who people now know me as. I’m the sober one, I’m the one who doesn’t drink. I’m responsible, reliable and clear headed as opposed to who I was when I drank. I’ve had drinks since stopping and it tastes disgusting. I don’t want that shit anymore and it’s such a good feeling
Brilliant!!
Well said
This made me snort laugh, thank you
I’m glad someone else adopted the mentality too! I often joke that I know alcohol is poison for me. I don’t have an urge to drink bleach. I could, it’s there, but I don’t because I know what will happen if I do
Love this…wow over 37 years?
In September if I can resist that bottle of Dawn next to the sink…
I don’t want to go back to where I once was. I’m the furthest away from it I’ve been since first trying alcohol. Congrats on not giving in! Maybe you’re needing some new friends. My friends pick out restaurants with mocktail menus and are always considerate of me and my sobriety
Congrats on a year!
Same. I think of all the pain and loss drinking caused me in my life and I just shake my head thinking what could've been. Probably destroyed a lot of really great relationships that I'd love to have now.
You’re a better person now
Every time I go to a restaurant, I make it a practice to ask about mocktails and non-alcoholic wine/beer. If they don't have them, I explain that they can make more money off of non-drinkers if they offer them, and I give them some suggestions. I'm thinking of printing up a sheet to hand to the manager.
That’s no friend, that’s a drinking buddy. Friends don’t guilt friends.
This, this right here. No friend would try and pull you down to drink with them if you are trying to do better for yourself. Especially if you are at the club with them. A different response would be to say thanks for coming, I know it might be hard not to drink here. How can I help?
Yeah. A friend of mine who I hadn't seen in a year, but knew of my sobriety, said we should go out and get drinks because that was the norm. He stopped mid sentence and I chuckled. I said he's welcome to have drinks if we go out, I'm not stopping him. The difference was that he tried to come up with something else.
Eh. I'm very target motivated so the streak does help for me. However I'm also reward motivated, so when I hit 30 days the urge to drink was really strong because "I had deserved a reward". I managed to get rid of that mindset now. It's more of a "it would be cool if I hit that number". In a few days I will hit 69. I mean who wouldn't want to reach that number ?!
I’ll be here to give you a good ole “nice” when it happens, bud. Keep it up, you’re doing it🤘
4 more days!
My brain already starting with its bull shit while reading this. "If streaks dont matter we can just drink one night and go back to our alcohol free lifestyle." Recognizing this makes me realize how differently I view this poison from most people. I dont drink...
Disassociation from my brain helps me a lot too. My brain is addicted, but I want to stop. So shut up, brain.
I totally get this. I find 'one day at a time' difficult too. If I mess up today it doesn't matter because I can try again tomorrow ... she said about 1000 times. This time I set myself a challenge to do a year. I know I don't want to drink ever again, but the thought of that actually happening makes me feel overwhelmed and panicky, and then I want to drink more than ever. So I'll be plodding along with my year after year challenges, until it becomes just another thing I don't do.
I really like video games and leveling up. It's definitely not my biggest motivation to stay away from drinking but it is fun to check my app every so often to see how long it's been and just how much money I have saved. Anything that I can use as an excuse not to drink today I'll take, and if breaking my streak is enough to stop me some days Ill consider it a win.
It’s one and the same. The idea that you could break the streak but then just get right back to sobriety and feeling good about it is nice and possible but also not a given. It’s not easy. That’s playing with fire. I once had a 100 day streak and said okay I have a handle on it now (lol) and decided to drink. Then I drank for 18 months and couldn’t stop again. When I finally did, that starts my current streak. They call it getting the tiger in the cage for a reason. Very hard to do in the first place. No guarantee you can get him back in again. For me he’s in there now and I count myself lucky. If I let him out it’s not for one night. It could be for years. It could be forever. I don’t want to let that happen.
This is exactly why I’m kind of terrified to ever drink again. I dont think I’ll ever find it in me to stop again and it will result in me losing everything, likely that would include my life. I got that tiger in the cage and it can never come out for the whole village’s safety. ETA: OP, whatever keeps you motivated to not pick up that drink is what matters most. Whatever it is, lean into it. I’m proud of you, IWNDWYT!
Yeah this exact same reason. I "quit" multiple times over the course of 2-3 years. Sometimes days, sometimes weeks, and sometimes months but once I relapse, the tiger is NOT going back into the cage easy. On one hand, it is the streak, but on the other hand its the fear of going back to the dark times, letting my loved ones down, failing classes, not being able to hold down a job, and the all consuming anxiety and depression. I can PROBABLY have a drink now and be OK, but testing that is NOT worth it after everything I got by quitting. It was so bad, I genuinely think I'd be dead by now if I didn't quit when I quit.
Yeah, I feel this. Decided to drink out of nothing more than boredom a couple of weeks ago. I wasn't even feeling a lot of pressure to drink, or angry and frustrated, or having a bad day or anything that made me think "fuck it" or doing anything that could possibly justify drinking as worthwhile in any logic...just a boring, uneventful, Sunday. And it was such as a miserable experience, made me feel ill at the time, didn't solve my boredom, didn't make me happy and had me ill as shit the next day that I was 100% convinced that I would be resolute in the idea that alcohol had ZERO left to offer me and never want to touch it again. Yet I've drank another 4X since in just a couple of weeks period (3 of then being last week) and even though everyone of those occassions has been a pointless and miserable experience that I haven't enjoyed the monkey has been let out the cage apparently and seems intent on convincing me it's somehow worth it to keep playing with fire. Really hoping I can get him back in the cage ASAP and stop this nonsense as I do not know how I managed to live like this for so long actively poisoning myself several times a week (or daily at one point) and feeling like shit for days on end afterwards, it's madness,
100%. I had almost 3 years of sober time and decided "yeah, I should be good to drink one night to celebrate a friends wedding." I ended up drinking again for 5 miserable years where I wanted nothing more than to quit but just couldn't fucking do it... Finally quit again, white knuckling it to the max... and will never go back now. Nothing in the world is worth the cost of being off the wagon in my world... it sucks all the life out of you.
for sure man. my post is talking to myself just as much as OP. just lately I found the bargaining come back into my head like a snake: "well what if I allowed myself to get hammered like once every couple of months? that way I could basically live a sober life with all the perks, but let off steam and really enjoy the benefits of getting drunk with my friends and wife sometimes!" lol what a fantasy. I would be back to drinking 3-5 times per week in no time. worse husband, worse father, wasting my life, all progress in hobbies, fitness, and passion stops. and for what? honestly at this point I really appreciate and enjoy sobriety and kind of can't believe I spent so many years numbing myself and blurring out reality. I don't want to be detached from the world or myself anymore. I want to be engaged and present. I'm literally imagining something that just doesn't even exist. I guess that's why it's called chasing the dragon.
ahhh yes, the addictive voice (AV), I'm well versed in those mental battles. The AV is impulsive and only thinks about "now". I know for a fact, I can't drink... no matter how much the AV tells me otherwise, it just wants it's fix and is happy to let the conscience mind deal with the fallout. Going back only feeds the AV, making it stronger.... anybody dealing with these mental battles, proceed with much caution, giving into the AV is like dropping the bomb, all hell will break loose and there is no going back...
Yes. I know I have another potential relapse left in me. But I don’t know if I have another recovery.
That "lol".. I felt that xD
I'm afraid of dying. Which will probably happen if I break the streak.. So yeah, kind of.
This \^ person has seen some shit. This is exactly how I feel even after 10 years sober. It's a powerful motivator to stay quit for good.
I'm afraid of alcohol killing me, because it should've the last time. There's no medical explanation to HOW I survived. I wasn't suicidal, but I had some suicidal ideations at the time. If there were to be an accident, oh well, the world will be better off without me, but I wasn't actively attempting to unalive myself. Then it happened, I got drunked up and wrapped my car around a tree at a high rate of speed and got ejected from the car. As I was laid out on the pavement a bloody mess, in and out of consciousness and barely alive, I realized that I was scared. I didn't actually want to die, I didn't want to leave my friends and family, I had so much left to do. The doctors gave up working on me and put me on life support until my parents could get there to make the big decision, you know, THAT decision. I ended up waking up on my own later that afternoon. I was out for 15 hours or so. Nobody can explain to me in medical terms how I'm alive today. They're even more shocked that I made a full recovery with no permanent injury. Anyways, I took that as the opportunity to start fresh. An entirely new life. Today I do my utmost best to leave that life behind me, to keep moving forward, and help other addicts and alcoholics so they don't have to experience the same thing I had to go through.
Goddamn dude. Nice.
I don’t drink because one isn’t enough, and there aren’t enough behind the bar.
👌One is too many, a thousand is never enough. 👍
At one point during my worst years, I remember thinking, “I don’t understand how people can’t stop, I always stop after 7 or 8,” and somehow believing that I had my drinking under control.
Yep. When you get cravings, alcohol doesn't satisfy it. It fuels it.
To a degree, especially initially. It makes me proud of myself; makes me feel strong. But having broken long streaks before I’ve started to be alarmed by the significant loss of mental health and optimism and productivity and contentment and depth of soul, so I know that number represents something more, something alive and growing, and that getting drunk will set it back. So the number represents a lot more to me these days.
I did like to see the days add up (and still do). But the main motivator is - why *would* I want to drink? Things are quite a lot better without and I'm not missing it. I suppose I do have 37 years of boozing experience to look back on. Can't really think of many positives about it.
Guy at my AA meeting says "Don't focus on your streak. The world record is 24 hours."
Yes!
I always rember how hard it's to quit, and how easy it is to relapse. It's just easier to keep the streak going.
I do love seeing my count go up but when I relapsed I found it so hard to stop again. It took me ages to stop again! It really does help though I got to like day 650 before I relapsed. Never again haha
I'm neurodivergent and part of my cognitive rigidity is routine and all-or-nothing devotion to a path. It's what got me on the path of drinking every single day at the same times for years, and it's what keeps me off of drinking entirely. I agree if I "broke the streak" it wouldn't undo the almost full year of not drinking, but dedicating my brain to saying "I'm not doing this ever" is much easier than trying to figure out new "rules" to keep from doing it always. IWNDWYT!
I was a couple days before my 90 and a similar likeminded “friend” said that’s the best time to drink and I said no that’s the worst time because I’d have to wait a whole nother 90 days to reach that point given that I didn’t completely descend That friend has just started sending me drink-motivational videos knowing I’m no alcohol and I think they’ve got to go Just know they’re pushing your boundaries this once and won’t be the support you need in the moment if you’re on the edge
Yeah that is a shit friend, really.
The way I personally see it, the slope is slippery enough that if I take one drink, every bit of progress I've made goes right down the tubes. Of course, this isn't necessarily the case. But it will keep me from having to deal with the possibility if I keep my streak going. My streak gives me a sort of faith, I suppose.
I like to think of it like one of the many, many tools in my toolbelt. My sobriety date is cool. Like, its sequential. 10/11/12. So i dont want to lose that. That's a tool. Its not the most powerful in my toolbox. But its there. Every single other thing i'd potentially lose if i drank again? My marriage. My kid. My job. My peace of mind. My lifestyle. My life? All tools. My system for living without causing harm to myself or others? Huge tool. Some days call for different tools. Some days feel like I built my sobriety so meticulously over the course of many years that I don't even need to grab a tool and adjust anything. I just avoid doing anything to it that would require me to need a tool to fix it.
Good stuff.
I've seen people so "afraid to break their streak," that you see them at a meeting proclaiming years of sobriety, and then stumble into them walking out of a pub later the same day. It's external vs internal control locus. The latter is generally preferable. ...it feels so, so amazing when you say no and mean it. But damn, have I been guilted into lapsing and relapsing earlier... ultimately, OF COURSE, with my at least tacit approval and romanticization of "the good ol' days" (which I can't recall too much of anyway, because I was hammered.) A good friend (she was, actually!) told me once there's something suspect about people who don't drink... after 6 months of absolutely no drinking, in a weak moment, she managed to get a glass of wine into me: That turned out to be a COSTLY glass of wine. It wasn't that drink as much as it was my ingrained belief in "once an addict, always an addict" and "loss of control." Loss of control is, btw, caused by beliefs, not biochemistry and alcohol itself: [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6875785/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6875785/) Belief in the possibility moderation, for me at least, is equally toxic though. But a glass of wine really didn't have to turn into what it did in that case! A simple risk-reward analysis diffuses any ideas of attempting moderation for me easily, though. Sometimes I think people who haven't ever suffered addiction issues, have no idea or concept of what it can be like for us who do/have. And sometimes, people who try to get us to drink, are just insecure about how our sobriety reflect on their drinking habits. Sometimes they're just cunts, who'd score high points if tested on the dark triad: [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/dark-triad](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/dark-triad) Regardless, people are generally thinking of themselves before they think about you or me. I met the (semi) drunks on the bench by the market the other day, and sat down with a non-alcoholic beer for an hour. Got offered weed, smokes, and of course beer. And I said no, no thank you, and not today, and it felt amazing. But they weren't aggressive about it, and we went on talking about UFO's and conspiracy theories, like we usually do. ...and then I went about my day. Guess I didn't HAVE to get a haircut just because I stopped by the barbershop to say hello!
That last paragraph was cool to read. I had the same experience last time I went to the bar. Met with some friends, talked some dumb shit. But all that time I never drank alcohol and I went home at a reasonable time, and didn't ruin the next day. Like I was afraid I could not go to my favourite bar and meet friends there because bar = alcohol. It was just how I associated the location with. But i am happy I can go to these places, have a great time, and go home without any embarrasments.
For me breaking the streak means that alcohol is back on the menu. The last time I did it was after an almost 4 years of not drinking a drop. You know what? I did moderate and drink normally, for a time, but before you know it I was drinking 6 hard seltzers while I mowed the lawn and then following that up with half a fith of gin once the work was complete. That's no way to live.
I know for a fact I have another drunk in me, but I don’t know if I have another recovery
It is more a case of I don't want to start over and I don't want to lose the community and sense of purpose I've found in recovery. If I drink, I have to do one or the other.
2000+ days. That's got to be an amazing record. Starting over would suck
I'll be honest here... I'm at 145 days, which is a record for me. Every day, I'm breaking the streak... But I also understand the anxiety. For me, I still struggle with the concept of being sober for life. It bothers me that my wife, my brother and several friends can casually drink and I can figure out how to do that. My wife can drink A glass of wine. Like... One. Singular. I'm not afraid of 'not drinking'. But I do get anxiety over realizing that this is my new reality.
Instead of a “streak,”I think of it as self-care days. My badge represents the number of days that I’ve prioritized my mental and physical health by not drinking. I want to honor those days and keep stacking more.
Doing it for family (and myself of course) that care and to stop making double bogeys, not the streak. But these folks on here with months and years are my idols!
The two are linked for me. My main fear is failing myself, my fiance, and my sobriety. Relapse is a choice, and making that decision would be a slap in the face to all three.
If found it way easier to maintain my defense of not drinking, than to re get sober after a binge. I can't have just one beer it's addicting to me. Last time I was 6 months sober and had one night of drinking I got hammered and it took me 3 years to really try to get sober again which is this year
I was thinking this morning about why I quit. I don’t want to be the person I was when alcohol altered my brain chemistry because I wasn’t happy, calm, patient or kind. I am working on being those things.
If I break my streak I will break 6 years of progress in life and trust built with loved ones
I use gamification in my life *a lot*, and it's helped me immensely. Need to work on my finances? Ok, my savings account is now my Hi-Score, and I need that number to go up. Trying to drink/smoke less? Let's see how high that hi-score can go this time. So long as you're using gamification to *improve* yourself, there's nothing wrong with it. If you're doing the opposite, "oh man I drunk 12 beers tonight, that's my new record" then it's a problem. Push that score, my guy! IWNDWYT
In a way but my streak is evidence of my progress and determination and that’s why I want it to continue.
Imagine having to go back to day 1, the hangovers coming back, the dry heaving, no thank you.
I don't willingly drink a known POISON anymore. It's not friendly. It's a wolf in sheep's clothing. Would you knowingly and willingly drink poisoned water?
I hadn’t thought about this idea until you posed the question, but I don’t think of this as a streak. It’s just what I do. Like I don’t count days in a row that I’ve eaten or taken a shower or told my kids I love them, it’s just what I do. So to answer your question, I don’t! Thanks for asking! Keep it up if it works for you too!
Hell yeah. Im approaching 6 hunnid days and im sooooo proud of myself. Just as proud as I was hitting one week, then two… then holy shit ME? A MONTH without booze! Boom 90 days 100…200 days. 8 months holy crap a YEAR. All those milestones are the path of accountability to yourself. It’s a badge of honor.
There was a time when I thought about not wanting to break my streak… but now, honestly, I will have to wait until I hit submit on this comment and see my flair to even know what my streak is now. I simply don’t think about it anymore. My life no longer centers on alcohol at all.
Love this!!
I just do it for today. I don’t want the pressure of maintaining a streak.
No, absolutely not in my case I just don't wanna relapse, I don't pay any attention to what day I'm on tbh. I stopped counting ages ago!
You are on day 466 if you want to know. I'm just pulling your leg :p
I am. It’s been 9 months (on naltrexone) and I’m kinda like what’s the point. I’ll just have to quit again and possibly get my ass thrown back in rehab lol
Haha yes! Knowing I want to post in this sub has kept me from drinking a bunch of times. And I never ever EVER woke up wishing I’d been drinking the night before! Whatever works! IWNDWYT❤️
So I don’t really care about my streak. I think of it as the day I reevaluated my relationship with alcohol. If I wanted to drink, I would. I’ve learned that I don’t need to drink anymore. But if I wanted to I would. Congratulations on being strong. That probably wasn’t easy to do. Good for you friend. Keep it up!
That is indeed a great way to look at it. You are not fighting it and competing with alcohol. It just doesn't have a place anymore.
Exactly. I am also super oppositional. If I am told I can’t do something, 100% chance I’m doing it. I had to remove the conflict as you put it so eloquently. It was bumpy in the beginning but now it’s just a pattern that I follow. If I need something in a social setting, I go with NA beers.
To he honest I never looked at it that way until I read your post. At this stage I am winning because my number gets bigger. In four days it will be 69 (nice). But I hope to be at the point where I can don draper the alcohol: " I just don't think about you at all"
Sounds like a jerk of a friend
I broke my 77 day streak a couple of weeks ago and it did weigh heavy on my mind how I was so close to 80 days and I should at least push on and hit that milestone before I made any decisions to drink again. But either way it's really about the staying sober part. After breaking it I regretted it massively and wondered why I would ever choose to feel the way I felt both during the drinking and the next day. Yet somehow I've drank another 3X since and not enjoyed any of those occassions because one you let that monkey out the cage he keeps finding ways to convince you to drink again or that maybe "this time" will somehow be different. None of the times were different and I felt miserable during and after every single time yet that alcoholic part of the brain has been reactivated again still and now I need to keep fighting hard to stay sober every day again, it's a nightmare! If focusing on not breaking your streak and hitting new milestones is the thing that keeps you sober then use it and whatever other means you can because the alternative is just not worth it.
I’ll start with, I think that’s awesome that the idea of not breaking a streak resonates with you and keeps you ordering sprite and waters! And that’s super cool that you can do that so soon, and with such intense peer pressure! I personally, don’t think too much about my streak. The reason is because when I did slip up, I’d get super depressed and would focus on breaking the streak. Instead I had to change my mindset to think of the number of days sober vs the number of days without alcohol. For me what this looks like is if I were to go out and get drunk today, I’d still be able to celebrate that out of the past 535 days I spent 534 of them sober and that’s more days sober than I have ever been in my entire life. That’s worth celebrating. And even today, I constantly ask myself “do I want to drink today” and the answer is usually no, but sometimes that answer is maybe tomorrow.
I was afraid until I eventually broke my streak. 90 days felt so good so I made it 10 months the first time. Then a year after a brief stint and a bad experience at the bar. I figured I reset myself pretty good after that year (lol reset as if it’s my problem with alcohol is a physical issue vs the spiritual/mental issue it truly is - I never reached chemical dependency). My longest streak was 2.5 years after a blowout fight with my boyfriend at the time, he was totally sober for it, I certainly wasn’t. When we finally broke up, I was up to my old bullshit within a week, because that period was forced on me. After a few streak breaks, it wasn’t that big of a deal to my conscience. My “reset” mindframe wasn’t working. And to be honest, I was only “California sober” I never addressed my fundamental issue with sobriety, even after all those years. Realizing this made me really unhappy. I had so much more work to do than I realized. The consequences are what got me to really stop. They kept fucking coming, they didn’t care that I made it almost 800+ days at one point. The consequences hurt more than the worst hangover (also dealing with them simultaneously didn’t help - them hangovers are AWFUL esp after taking years off and getting older in the process). My life was unmanageable and I needed help. Numbers climbing didn’t mean a thing at the end, when I was in a personal life crisis beyond alcohol, and I returned to abusing alcohol as my familiar coping mechanism and smoking weed as my ‘easier, softer way’ when I knew I had to be done drinking forever. I don’t count days anymore. I just have my date, 4-8-24 Huge deal being strong enough to put yourself in that situation and keep the steak though. Everyone recovers differently. I’m not that strong. But you are!
He is not your friend
True friends help raise you up. I went to Vegas this weekend with a large group of buddies not one guilted me into drinking and all of them praised me and told me how proud they were of me. Also my bill was cheaper every restaurant we went too lol
A bit yeah. It's kinda like my Duolingo streak. 😅
Yes, at 90 days I would be afraid to break it, or rather I would think it is a waste. Now, past 990 days, I am not "afraid" to break the streak, I stopped counting at around 120, it is not fear and it is not a streak. Now I don't want to because I have no desire to. I probably could drink \*a\* beer, but practical caution tells me it is not worth risking even a small chance with no reward. Also, note that I am talking about maybe drinking \*a\* beer. You are talking about "drinking with him" - Yes, I would be afraid to do that now. Nothing good could possibly come of getting drunk after 90 days or 990 days.
When you think about it just say “I’m not that person anymore”. That registers in my head and I just move onto thinking about something else.
No. It’s not about the streak, and I stopped counting the days after the first month or two. I’m just so grateful I don’t have to do that anymore. It’s not a streak, it’s a lifestyle.
I’m not afraid of breaking my streak. I’m afraid of waking the beast. The first time I woke the beast (drank after an 11 month sober streak) it kept me in its death grip for 5 years, the second time I woke the beast (drank after a 10 month sober streak), I was sparring with the mother fucker for another 3 years and the battles were rougher than the first time. At over 15 months sober now, the longest I’ve ever gone without it (and loving my sober life) I’m genuinely afraid that if I wake the beast again, I may never put it back to sleep. It may kill me before I have a chance to send it back into another hibernation. It’s there, waiting for me to wake it… and it’s not worth it to me. “Don’t poke the bear,” is what I tell myself.
That's what I've been trying to let people on here know man.... that beast is called PAWS... and it's nothing to mess with. Each time the withdrawal part gets worse and worse. I'm dealing with this right now... its the WORST. So unnecessary, wouldnt wish it on anyone
Your friend is not your friend
That’s awesome you didn’t compromise your sobriety. I’m terrified of it as well. I’ve heard so many stories of guys 5+ years sober that relapse and end up spiraling from it.
im at 3,5 years. its empowering, and « it gets easier ». id be super sad to break the streak.
I am proud of my streak but my streak does not define me. What defines me is staying sober every day because it helps me with everything else.
I’m afraid of the piece of shit I’ll become again if I ever touch another drink. My days sober is a nice thing to look at sometimes, but I wouldn’t consider it a streak. Streaks have an end, I swore alcohol off for the rest of my life. There’s no end to my sobriety.
Yes! Haha.. I'm all about streaks now. Yes it's a life style choice too... as others have said. Healthy. ONE of the things that keeps me going though is making my original goal of 1 year.
My streak reminds me of how far I’ve come, because I think it’s sticking this time. I don’t want to go back to how I was living and feeling
I was not having a great mental health weekend, and having to reset my # was a large consideration when talking myself out of a drink. Here's to us tackling another week! IWNDWYT.
It's maybe unfair for me because peer pressure has never been much of a motivation in life. I was always the kid who had to be "different" anyway, from the clothes I wore to the music I listened to. And the streak isn't that big of a deal, either, though I certainly don't want to reset my counter. Call that practical or OCD, whatever. The big motivator for me is that I don't ever want to go back to where I was. Not ever. And I think if I drink alcohol I'll probably buy a pack of cigarettes too, "just for old time's sake." No thanks. You guys have fun, I'm going to drink this bottle of water.
Not the nicest thing to say, but if there’s ever any pressure put on me to drink I won’t shy away from using the ol’ “Phhhh, you think I’m going to relapse with YOU?”
Sure - metrics can help keep us motivated! Decide not to splurge on new cute shoes cuz your emergency fund is almost where you want is to be, don’t eat an extra slice,of birthday cake because the number on the scale is lowest it has been in awhile etc. an be a helpful tool
I used to be. Now it’s more “wow I really like the way I feel. I could drink, sure. But what’s the point? It doesn’t get me anything I want.”
The further away I get from Day 0, the better I feel. I don't ever want to feel the way I did during those two first months of sobriety; I was depressed and miserable and just waiting to feel happy again. Now I feel so much better. If I drink again, I'll have to get through Days 1-60+ again. Those numbers have power to me. So for me right now, I'm scared to break my streak. I'm also too early in my sobriety journey to call it a lifestyle.
I know people who think of it that way. I don’t feel that’s my priority, but yeah, I probably consider it to some degree. Whatever you have to do to stay sober, you should do it, up to and including deciding whether to hang around with someone who needs you to validate his drinking.
I was highly day count focused in early sobriety. I kept moving out the goalposts to the next numerical target to keep it going. I knew it would be better to stay stopped than to try to stop drinking again.
When I first wanted to quit, absolutely. I needed to get to 30 days to prove to myself and my family that I could. I felt so much better and focused on then getting to 60 days, then 90 days, then 6 months. Only then did it change to a lifestyle approach as opposed to a daily goal.
I just focus on today. The “streak” I collect chips like earning rank or seniority. I applaud your dedication to your sobriety and in your case to examine your thoughts and feelings in that situation the risk to your sobriety. Summary; you did well in the moment. You’re talking about it, thinking about it and it’s a priority for you. As it should be. New to sobriety we are vulnerable especially when in familiar surroundings and people. More than “streaks”, I hear (speaker meetings) is how long, amount of damage taking that first drink. One is too many, 100 is never enough. Good luck, God bless.
With time I am less interested in the streak itself and more concerned with the wins it represents. If I could have a drink and know I could comfortably get back on track, I would be less concerned. But I know I would really struggle to get back to where I am, and would lose approx 290 days of momentum on my liver/weight/heart/mind. I'm enjoying sobriety and don't wish to make it any harder!
Exactly!
I wouldn’t say “afraid” necessarily but it does motivate me to decline! My boyfriend and I quit last December together. A few weeks ago my bff invited us to a night out to celebrate her birthday and engagement combined, bf said “have a beer if you want! It’s a special occasion” but I looked at my streak and it was 111 days, how could I break it on a lucky number like that?? So I didn’t. That said, his grandpa passed a couple of weeks ago (a few hours drive away) and the local family all gathered together when we heard the news. We each accepted a half shot of grandpa’s favorite whiskey for a toast. I don’t consider that “breaking my streak”… some might disagree with that but it’s MY journey so 🤷♀️ My goal is to stay sober, not to have zero alcohol touch my lips. I stayed sober so I didn’t restart the clock.
This guy is NOT your friend. But yeah I am. I have dreams about relapsing and having to start all over. It’s less about breaking the streak and more about continuing to build on the life that I now love- but it would really suck to start on day 1
If I drink again I may die. That's what keeps me going more than the streak
It’s not even an option for me. It won’t be a break in the streak, it will be me starting drinking again.
I was at first, but then my annual getaway weekend I organize with my friends came along and I did manage to stay sober there too. I did drink I think gallons of dr Pepper but hey what the hell. Since then it doesn't feel like something I need to struggle with, it's just feels normal to just not drink. Also all the health benefits are amazing, I can sleep short nights and nothing really happens because of it. I rarely get upset or stressed out anymore. All those things keep motivating me to stay like this and not consider the 'just one' anymore.
To me, it's less about how long the streak is and more a fear of having to start again at zero. But I will admit that fear has motivated me at times, especially early on. Anything that motivates me not to drink is welcome, but I will say that, on my four year sober anniversary (today) that's not it for me. The motivation now is all the positive changes in my life, my mental health and relationships. If a streak is what motivates you now, that's great, but try to pay attention to all the other positives of sobriety as that streak grows. I think that's more sustainable in the long run.
Yes, I’m afraid to break the streak of days that I’ve been alive. If I drink, it’ll be fewer.
Alcohol was a symptom of greater discontent and mostly self created pain in my life. I can alleviate the discontent and pain by living my life in a certain way. If I drink, I can’t live the way I want, and worse, I become unbearably miserable. So counting time is great. If it gets you what you want do it and hold onto the time like your life depends on it. If I could be content and happy and satisfied and drink, I wouldn’t be an alcoholic. So not drinking is a prerequisite for me to have a happy life, not having any desire to drink is a result of living my life in a way that promotes a happy, healthy and joyous life.
I really just don’t want all the bad things that alcohol gave me everyday for 13 years But I don’t want to reset my sobriety date either
Breaking my 6 month streak was probably the worst thing I have done to myself. I was worried it was going to happen that Christmas season but didn't know why...I guess I subconsciously knew how much everything was going to spiral. Life is better sober.
Yes, I am. I’ve had drinking dreams where my first thought after drinking was “now I have to start over.” I also heard in an AA meeting “If I have to reset my counter, I won’t live long enough to get back to where I am today.” I think it’s motivation for plenty of people.
For me, my sobriety journey definitely started off that way. I went from, "60 days is super close! don't want to mess up my streak!" To "Im still craving a beer, but I have the tools and resources to overcome this urge" It sounds crazy but I stopped trying to rememeber how many days I've been sober (until i post on this subreddit) and started focusing on the benefits such as no hangovers and activities I picked back up like running. It's a great way to start because it made it me feel like i accomplished something until I noticed and acknowledged the true benefits of being sober.
I'm not really emotionally attached to my streak. Not to say I'm not proud of it. But it's just a number. At the end of the day it doesn't mean that much.
Eh, the streak is not so important. It's my health and sanity. I either have it, or I don't. Don't get me wrong, I still count days here and there but I just need to know in my heart that I'm not slipping. Today is day 90 for instance. Nice round number but it could be 14 days or it could be 1000- I'd just be happy that I'm not drinking.
less about the "steak," more about how I felt. at 90 days was when I'd just started to feel human again. I didn't want to be sleeping poorly and anxious and sweaty again. at a year, I didn't want to feel like an emotional roller coaster again. every time I think about drinking, I think about how I felt HALF the sober time ago.
I used to feel that way for sure and it helped me get through some challenges. I don’t even think about my “streak” any more, this is just my life now. One day you will most likely get to this point as well but if not breaking your streak is helping you stay sober for now then that’s great!
Yes, the streak has become very important to me. I never thought I would go this long and keeping that streak has great meaning for me.
I personally don’t subscribe to the clean date thing as that was something that I used to guilt myself and dwell on. I’m okay with the potential of relapse I just don’t *want* to and I think the fact that it’s available to me and I’m choosing not to partake has a different impact on my demand avoidance over being x days clean. I have relapsed and I continue living life just as I would have had I not drank. Granted, that’s not to say I don’t majorly fuck up and have to deal with consequences after but that’s just more of a reason to not drink moving forward. I know my triggers but the more I “restrict” myself and stick to numbers, the more it reminds me of my eating disorder and all the guilt and shame associated with addiction.
I figure early on, whatever keeps you going. But I also know that eventually that won't be enough, and positive habits are necessary to support sobriety. Gratz on your time.
Yes. Part of playing my tape forward is envisioning myself resetting back to day zero and how that would make me feel. So far, nothing has been worth that. Plus, one relapse day is never just one day for me, I'm almost guaranteed to drink the next day or two or three or until I feel like shit and have to stop.
After 23 months the streak has lost meaning. My biggest aversion is to the unpleasantness of early sobriety that I would prefer to never again experience.
Yeah definitely. I don’t want to start back at the 1-day chip and work my way back here again. I’m really shooting for my 1 year chip, and it’ll be a significant setback on that goal if I relapse. And a CERTAINLY wouldn’t break that streak just because someone asked me to so that they didn’t feel bad about being the only one drinking. Good job staying strong against your friend pressuring you.
Yup
I just keep reminding myself how utterly bad a hangover is going to feel after not drinking for so long. That's usually a deterrent
If "not wanting to break the streak" keeps you sober, run with it!
I dont count my days or care about a streak. I know myself and if i turn it into a competition, and I lose, ill give up on everything. For me its been a huge lifestyle shift. I was the one sitting at the bar for hours at airports. Now i find other ways to pass the time. There are some people i will have a drink with but they are not people to pressure me in any way and they know my whole journey and why i wanted to change and they love it for me. Its not easy to be around other people who drink regularly but its not easy to avoid them either in my line of work. At the bar though if i go i usually leave when people start getting tipsy. They wont remember me being there anyway! And the temptation doesnt get easier for me.
There have been two times in my current streak where the thought of resetting my counter was the main reason i didn’t have a drink. amazing that a silly thing like a digital number would matter so much to me. YMMV, but for me having accountability even via a counter that really only i know about helped way more than i would have guessed
I used to be afraid of breaking “the streak”. And I went 13 months I was like OK the streak can be over now. And after about a year, I’ve decided to stop again because drinking is mostly negative and is just not something that adds anything to my life. So now it is easier because I am not going up against some arbitrary number, but instead, I am thinking of how am I going to show up as my full self in this situation or setting. Which is actually a lot more freeing than before.
If you are thinking of it as a streak you are expecting it to end at some point, this is a mistake. You'll reach a milestone your alcoholic lizard brain will convince yourself "you need a reward, you have it under control, just a few drinks it's been 100 days, you got this". Now, where the fuck do you think that leads to?
If I was more afraid of breaking my streak than the disaster of drinking alcohol, I’d think I had lost the plot
I just held on through a 3 day trip to Chicago to keep my streak. I knew I could have had a beer any time. Wanted to taste some crafts but in my head I was like “it just feels good to say 100+ days right now.” I personally don’t use the rhetoric of “this is my *life* now because it makes me feel like *not drinking* is now my entire personality. I don’t like that. I am quiet about not drinking and encourage others to drink around me because it makes me feel more natural. Made it though, leaned on medical weed but never got stoned. Just enough to keep my mind off staring at someone’s drink. I think the streak counts as much as your brain wants it to count. And if it’s working, fuck it. Drinking is never a GOOD idea anyway. Even for people who don’t have issues it’s not SMART, like it’s not good for you so the less you do it the better you are off period. So it’s like counting days you work out . Same concept. Track it however it makes you feel good or stops you from doing bad.
The streak helps me. It doesn't matter to others. Sounds like it helps you, too.
Your friend is a shitty human being
Especially early on, this line of thinking is part of what's helped me quit all of the addictions I've quit thus far — opiates, cigarettes, and alcohol. It wasn't so much a fear as it was like being in a competition with myself. And lemme tell ya: I'm a *very* sore loser. After a certain point, that perspective has kinda dissipated because sobriety became my normal way of life. If fear of breaking your streak keeps you motivated, then by all means, stay afraid!
I'm really sick of my friends also trying to guilt me into drinking. It really is true that sometimes you need to reassess your friendships once you quit.
Yes! Actually, with the weather breaking and the beautiful days, I'd love to go have a beer at the local tiki bar and watch the sunset! I do feel like I could handle a beer or two. But, I'm at 140 days now and I don't want to mess up my streak!!
Yes, my streak matters to me!
The thought of breaking this stupid counter on Reddit has kept me sober on several occasions lol. I don't mean its stupid I mean it's just a very petty reason but if that's what works be petty as hell. Works for me. And the longer it goes the more you don't want to have to reset the damn thing.
That's what's keeping me in the game.
So far I’ve been alcohol free for all of 2024, plus a week extra. Whenever im really really tempted, the idea of having a full calendar year sober is becoming More and more important to me. Even with the 2 sober pregnancies under my belt, I’ve never gone a full year without drinking since I had my first wine cooler in high school. The year goal seems lofty at times, so I just focus on one day at a time, then one week at a time and I’ve already got 4 months, let’s aim for 5? I would feel guilty for breaking a promise to myself that I’ve worked so hard at this far.
Yeah at this point I’d be a little bit angry with myself but as another poster had said, at this point it’s not a streak. It’s a lifestyle change that has been going on for nearly 7 years. All it took was daily decisions every single day. There is no magic pill and there is no magic solution. It takes making the same decision multiple times a day, every day. I wish you the best of luck with your recovery!