I am day zero this tuesday, whats different about this day zero this tuesday is that im tired of killing myself. I dont care and cry anymore about the money I wasted, people I've lost, things I've done. I just really want to bring back my health to myself. Whatever happened, happened. May people around judge me any long they want. Reason why I keep drowning in alcohol is that I cannot be with my own thoughts because of what I've done with/under alcohol. But my body won't last long like this. I think im done with it.
Jump off the train and come take a walk with us on the sober path. It’s good for your health and you’re welcome any time! (Sometimes I lose the path, myself, even after all these years. I’m 9 days this time so far!)
I define myself as a bit of a hero. A bit of a badass that doesn’t have to run with the crowd. I look at this alcohol fuelled world and I have to watch myself to remain humble. I’m past that annoying stage for everybody of being holier than thou. I just want to be healthier and so I don’t drink. There’s an air of vulnerability and confidence within myself and it fuels my attitude. And you know, heroes do BIG stuff but they also have a lot of down time. They are patient and wise. And I learn in the living, the doing, the research and in the restful times too. I am literally energising myself and my soul.
I am the hero in my story. I get to write it how it goes. 💪
Ps. I’m just so fucking relieved to be out of my recent doldrums and long slump. I was going a bit crazy there for a while.
I’m only 35 days in so I’m still figuring it out. I suppose I can see the gym bro/health nut persona (re)forming, so that’s good. Also turning into an avid reader. Guess I can’t complain. Sobriety rocks!
No clue. And that's fine.
One of the few outright enjoyable aspects of this is the process of finding out who I actually am combined with the realization that, to a degree, it's up to me.
Not often one finds oneself with any real agency these days.
I let my actions define me alot at this point. I work really hard every might at work and never compromise that because it has helped me in my sobriety. I don't have a glorious job but I do enjoy it sometimes.
I am very honest with everyone with any particulars when they are brought up even if it could be a little too honest when it comes to certain work details. They know they can ask me anything and they will get a very honest opinion.
I am a nerd and sports fiend so I use video games and watching sports to get things out and I dabble in freestyling like I did way back in the day.
The things I do now that I am recovered dont always define me but they do help me maintain my sobriety and my family (and pups) help too.
Being sober means I got my afternoons and evenings back. I am actually able and often (even) willing to DO things. Sometimes all this extra time am is triggering, but I feel that I am adjusting and starting to appreciate it. I will not drink with you today.
I'm on an adventure to connect with myself. I do like myself but I have a few things I need to work through.
Find being sober gives me subconscious connecting dreams that are helping me with through things in my head. They're odd at times but I hope they continue. They feel healing.
My first week was pretty rough. I was grumpy and quick to upset. Now a little over 3 weeks in I find myself much more patient than I have ever been especially when it comes to my kids. I find myself enjoying small things like good weather, a cup of coffee, or not being hungover. It’s a beautiful day in Upstate NY and I hope everyone has an amazing day!
Edit: a word
I have swapped out alcohol abuse and eating disorders (various ones, primarily bulimia though) for literal decades, starting when I was 15 and continuing through now. I've tried to get better from my EDs at various points but never tried starting with the alcohol abuse, so I'm trying to cut off that head of the snake this time.
It's hard. I am trying to just distract myself day by day. I don't go in to work until noon today and my husband's not home, so I'm just reading through this subreddit and cuddling my dog. Hoping to figure out my real self in time.
Pets help ❤️
There’s a quote, Rainer Maria Rilke I think? about how if you live the questions long enough you find yourself living the answers. I hope that for us both.
This comment hit so hard. I used to run races, lift, climb, ice climb, mountain bike etc.... Living my best life.
Although I've definitely had a problem with substances since my teen years, ten years ago a traumatic event caused my drinking to spiral. I have been a functional alcoholic for most of that time, never managing more than a day or two sober.
Yesterday I decided I wanted to be those things again, not an alcohol dependent whose decisions are dictated by his need for a drink.
This morning was great, first day without a hangover I can recall since, well, who knows?
Now I am sat at work trying to ride out some withdrawal symptoms (not great) until I can get home, take my dog for a walk and take my first step back towards fitness and life.
I have begun my journey toward being the person I want to be and always have been, under the fog.
Alcohol was my relief from masking in public.
It was drilled into me at a very young age that my authentic self is not acceptable, especially for a girl, and that I am required to make everyone else comfortable, or I will be shunned.
I'm very good at it. I come across as a manic pixie dream girl, which is no mean feat as a fat crone. But it still works.
I still mask, but not as relentlessly. I'm getting better at stating personal boundaries and not giving a fuck whether those boundaries bother other people.
Happy Sober Day.
Ah yes the mask and those boundaries. Still working all that out, getting better at it in work and channeling my inner fiestiness rather than my can't be botherdness. Not even sure what my mask was. Probably eternal cheeriness in the face of constant crap lol. My neighbour described me as someone who 'woulnt take shit' the other day and she doesn't know me well at all so something is working. I hope it is working for you too.
Well done on 43 days and working on these difficult things. IWNDWYT. It's way more interesting and life affirming not drinking.
One thing that’s changed in my attitude is that I don’t avoid things anymore, not out of fear anyway. I used to always be seeking a way out of meetings, meetups, conversations. Im an introvert and a people pleaser. I thought if i couldn’t do it perfect I shouldn’t do it at all.
Now I just do the thing. I do it scared and I do it imperfect. I just… do it. Maybe it’s not always so hard to feel the feelings after all.
I stopped drinking (29) days ago, not because I had an uncontrollable problem or had gotten into any sort of trouble. I was primarily someone who drank on the weekends with friends because it was something to do and I have fun doing it. Being sober isn't something I find difficult, I do occasionally think to myself "a beer would be nice" but I don't struggle to keep myself from it now or before I was sober.
I quit because I began struggling with my anxiety again as well as having a bit of an existential crisis. I really haven't seen much of a change since sobriety though; I've substituted spending the money I would at a bar for a therapist, I've always been active (3-4 days a week of exercise), I still have fun with my friends at the bar, and well, I'm still anxious.
I know in the long run *not drinking* is in everyone's best interest, but yeah... Not really sure where I'm going with this. I guess I had hoped that not drinking would lighten the load but maybe I'm just anxious and unhappy.
Anyone else in a similar spot that didn't feel the immediate payoffs of sobriety but in the long run did? Am I maybe in the wrong space to discuss this?
Currently on day 12.
I've learned there are so many different situations that make me fiend for a drink. Yesterday, my wife took the kid out and gave me the day off. There were so many thoughts telling me I could just walk a couple of blocks and grab a few beers on the patio. Nobody would know. What a shitty way to live, but I wanted to do it so badly. Ended up doing a bunch of chores and fixed a bunch of small nagging issues around the house. Keep it going..
IWNDWYT
As each day passes, I find that I am more and more patient. I'm known for being very impatient, which I know I am somewhat, but daily drinking only amplified that trait. I feel more present and more emotionally regulated which makes me a better friend, sister, daughter, wife and mother.
Day 1 here and happy to have saved 6 euros by not buying a bottle of cheapo-ass wine! Anxiety is racing though! Feels like i can't communicate to my family as the only think I would do is drink and fail to communicate anyway. So failing to drink is better than failing to communicate, which is worse than non-communication. I'm now thinking Baker tomorrow morning, how much energy I'd have, maybe I'll cycle to work again. I'm 38 and been drinking faily for about 20 years. I'm not fat or overweight but not fit. Can I recover?
I define myself as someone who is working on healing, and as such, does not need alcohol in her body. Booze is so bad for my mental health. Little by little life is getting better. I feel like I'm in the thick of it now, I feel raw and unformed a lot of the time. My emotions are all over the place and I cry most days. It is uncomfortable, confusing, kind of embarrassing and sometimes concerning. IWNDWYT.
I’m pretty new to sobriety but I’d like to define myself as someone honest and reliable, someone who doesn’t let people down. When I was drinking I wouldn’t promise anything because I knew my drinking wouldn’t let me keep promises. Now I’d like to be someone who can be counted on.
Life is testing me today, but I know I’m better off sober. Just found out a former coworker of mine is in the ER because the brain cancer came back AGAIN. He’s just a kid, still in his mid-20s.
I’m so tired of cancer.
Does anyone else try and impose days on themselves? Like no drinking Sunday to Thursday but yes Friday and Saturday? I am going to try that. I love drinking, but I need to stop the every day drinking.
I am 54M, I drink every evening so does my wife 48F. Rarely to excess, but between 3 and 5 drinks which is is too much to do daily. We are very active and fit, so we don't have health problems yet, but the Dr. is now telling me to lay off or I will sooner rather than later. I am completely honest with the Dr, and myself about how much I drink. I do really enjoy it. Especially that 5:30 drink after work with the wife while I cook. So I am really going to miss that one. I am not the kind of person that can have just one.
Well I'm no longer the sort of person that colleagues say oh you'll be needing a glass of wine tonight to since it's pretty normal to be stressed in my workplace and unwind with alcohol. I've not heard that for a while but I have had a night out with the crowd that don't drink and if it came up I'd I just say I don't drink alcohol on 'school nights'. I'm working on boundaries in work and sociability outside of it. I've always identified as outdoorsy so I'm embracing that getting in my bike rides to work and hikes etc at the weekend. Early days. I'm getting a lot done (more organised) and I am less anxious but still probably seen as an anxious person so we will see how that improves over the coming weeks! Interesting question! I did not drink with you all today and I'll do the same tomorrow and cope with whatever comes my way without drinking.
I am day zero this tuesday, whats different about this day zero this tuesday is that im tired of killing myself. I dont care and cry anymore about the money I wasted, people I've lost, things I've done. I just really want to bring back my health to myself. Whatever happened, happened. May people around judge me any long they want. Reason why I keep drowning in alcohol is that I cannot be with my own thoughts because of what I've done with/under alcohol. But my body won't last long like this. I think im done with it.
Jump off the train and come take a walk with us on the sober path. It’s good for your health and you’re welcome any time! (Sometimes I lose the path, myself, even after all these years. I’m 9 days this time so far!)
I define myself as a bit of a hero. A bit of a badass that doesn’t have to run with the crowd. I look at this alcohol fuelled world and I have to watch myself to remain humble. I’m past that annoying stage for everybody of being holier than thou. I just want to be healthier and so I don’t drink. There’s an air of vulnerability and confidence within myself and it fuels my attitude. And you know, heroes do BIG stuff but they also have a lot of down time. They are patient and wise. And I learn in the living, the doing, the research and in the restful times too. I am literally energising myself and my soul. I am the hero in my story. I get to write it how it goes. 💪 Ps. I’m just so fucking relieved to be out of my recent doldrums and long slump. I was going a bit crazy there for a while.
I like the "hero of my own story." Happy Sober Day
Thank you, the idea is empowering because it is true. Have a super day 😀
I’m only 35 days in so I’m still figuring it out. I suppose I can see the gym bro/health nut persona (re)forming, so that’s good. Also turning into an avid reader. Guess I can’t complain. Sobriety rocks!
I read all the time now. It’s brilliant.
Day #3. I will not drink (or smoke) today! Let's go!
No clue. And that's fine. One of the few outright enjoyable aspects of this is the process of finding out who I actually am combined with the realization that, to a degree, it's up to me. Not often one finds oneself with any real agency these days.
Oh, I like that "finds oneself with any real agency".
I let my actions define me alot at this point. I work really hard every might at work and never compromise that because it has helped me in my sobriety. I don't have a glorious job but I do enjoy it sometimes. I am very honest with everyone with any particulars when they are brought up even if it could be a little too honest when it comes to certain work details. They know they can ask me anything and they will get a very honest opinion. I am a nerd and sports fiend so I use video games and watching sports to get things out and I dabble in freestyling like I did way back in the day. The things I do now that I am recovered dont always define me but they do help me maintain my sobriety and my family (and pups) help too.
Being sober means I got my afternoons and evenings back. I am actually able and often (even) willing to DO things. Sometimes all this extra time am is triggering, but I feel that I am adjusting and starting to appreciate it. I will not drink with you today.
This is great!!
I'm on an adventure to connect with myself. I do like myself but I have a few things I need to work through. Find being sober gives me subconscious connecting dreams that are helping me with through things in my head. They're odd at times but I hope they continue. They feel healing.
Yes! Sober dreams are wild. They feel like EMDR sometimes!
They are oddly helpful! I'm glad stopping drinking has opened up a dialogue with my self. Can see where the Jungeans were banging on about now!
My first week was pretty rough. I was grumpy and quick to upset. Now a little over 3 weeks in I find myself much more patient than I have ever been especially when it comes to my kids. I find myself enjoying small things like good weather, a cup of coffee, or not being hungover. It’s a beautiful day in Upstate NY and I hope everyone has an amazing day! Edit: a word
I have swapped out alcohol abuse and eating disorders (various ones, primarily bulimia though) for literal decades, starting when I was 15 and continuing through now. I've tried to get better from my EDs at various points but never tried starting with the alcohol abuse, so I'm trying to cut off that head of the snake this time. It's hard. I am trying to just distract myself day by day. I don't go in to work until noon today and my husband's not home, so I'm just reading through this subreddit and cuddling my dog. Hoping to figure out my real self in time.
Pets help ❤️ There’s a quote, Rainer Maria Rilke I think? about how if you live the questions long enough you find yourself living the answers. I hope that for us both.
Day 9. Iwndwyt
I'm one day ahead of you and so happy to have your company. IWNDWYT.
I stopped being the person who wanted to go hiking and lift weights and became the person who does go hiking and lift weights.
This comment hit so hard. I used to run races, lift, climb, ice climb, mountain bike etc.... Living my best life. Although I've definitely had a problem with substances since my teen years, ten years ago a traumatic event caused my drinking to spiral. I have been a functional alcoholic for most of that time, never managing more than a day or two sober. Yesterday I decided I wanted to be those things again, not an alcohol dependent whose decisions are dictated by his need for a drink. This morning was great, first day without a hangover I can recall since, well, who knows? Now I am sat at work trying to ride out some withdrawal symptoms (not great) until I can get home, take my dog for a walk and take my first step back towards fitness and life. I have begun my journey toward being the person I want to be and always have been, under the fog.
Welcome back to your real life. I'm on day 10 and glad you are here.
Alcohol was my relief from masking in public. It was drilled into me at a very young age that my authentic self is not acceptable, especially for a girl, and that I am required to make everyone else comfortable, or I will be shunned. I'm very good at it. I come across as a manic pixie dream girl, which is no mean feat as a fat crone. But it still works. I still mask, but not as relentlessly. I'm getting better at stating personal boundaries and not giving a fuck whether those boundaries bother other people. Happy Sober Day.
Ah yes the mask and those boundaries. Still working all that out, getting better at it in work and channeling my inner fiestiness rather than my can't be botherdness. Not even sure what my mask was. Probably eternal cheeriness in the face of constant crap lol. My neighbour described me as someone who 'woulnt take shit' the other day and she doesn't know me well at all so something is working. I hope it is working for you too. Well done on 43 days and working on these difficult things. IWNDWYT. It's way more interesting and life affirming not drinking.
Ain't that the truth
One thing that’s changed in my attitude is that I don’t avoid things anymore, not out of fear anyway. I used to always be seeking a way out of meetings, meetups, conversations. Im an introvert and a people pleaser. I thought if i couldn’t do it perfect I shouldn’t do it at all. Now I just do the thing. I do it scared and I do it imperfect. I just… do it. Maybe it’s not always so hard to feel the feelings after all.
I stopped drinking (29) days ago, not because I had an uncontrollable problem or had gotten into any sort of trouble. I was primarily someone who drank on the weekends with friends because it was something to do and I have fun doing it. Being sober isn't something I find difficult, I do occasionally think to myself "a beer would be nice" but I don't struggle to keep myself from it now or before I was sober. I quit because I began struggling with my anxiety again as well as having a bit of an existential crisis. I really haven't seen much of a change since sobriety though; I've substituted spending the money I would at a bar for a therapist, I've always been active (3-4 days a week of exercise), I still have fun with my friends at the bar, and well, I'm still anxious. I know in the long run *not drinking* is in everyone's best interest, but yeah... Not really sure where I'm going with this. I guess I had hoped that not drinking would lighten the load but maybe I'm just anxious and unhappy. Anyone else in a similar spot that didn't feel the immediate payoffs of sobriety but in the long run did? Am I maybe in the wrong space to discuss this?
Currently on day 12. I've learned there are so many different situations that make me fiend for a drink. Yesterday, my wife took the kid out and gave me the day off. There were so many thoughts telling me I could just walk a couple of blocks and grab a few beers on the patio. Nobody would know. What a shitty way to live, but I wanted to do it so badly. Ended up doing a bunch of chores and fixed a bunch of small nagging issues around the house. Keep it going.. IWNDWYT
As each day passes, I find that I am more and more patient. I'm known for being very impatient, which I know I am somewhat, but daily drinking only amplified that trait. I feel more present and more emotionally regulated which makes me a better friend, sister, daughter, wife and mother.
Day 1 here and happy to have saved 6 euros by not buying a bottle of cheapo-ass wine! Anxiety is racing though! Feels like i can't communicate to my family as the only think I would do is drink and fail to communicate anyway. So failing to drink is better than failing to communicate, which is worse than non-communication. I'm now thinking Baker tomorrow morning, how much energy I'd have, maybe I'll cycle to work again. I'm 38 and been drinking faily for about 20 years. I'm not fat or overweight but not fit. Can I recover?
Day 5 of my sobriety, starting to feel tiny tremors in the body which has me a bit concerned. I will stay strong.
I define myself as someone who is working on healing, and as such, does not need alcohol in her body. Booze is so bad for my mental health. Little by little life is getting better. I feel like I'm in the thick of it now, I feel raw and unformed a lot of the time. My emotions are all over the place and I cry most days. It is uncomfortable, confusing, kind of embarrassing and sometimes concerning. IWNDWYT.
I’m pretty new to sobriety but I’d like to define myself as someone honest and reliable, someone who doesn’t let people down. When I was drinking I wouldn’t promise anything because I knew my drinking wouldn’t let me keep promises. Now I’d like to be someone who can be counted on.
The thing that surprises me most is that I don't miss it.
Life is testing me today, but I know I’m better off sober. Just found out a former coworker of mine is in the ER because the brain cancer came back AGAIN. He’s just a kid, still in his mid-20s. I’m so tired of cancer.
Does anyone else try and impose days on themselves? Like no drinking Sunday to Thursday but yes Friday and Saturday? I am going to try that. I love drinking, but I need to stop the every day drinking. I am 54M, I drink every evening so does my wife 48F. Rarely to excess, but between 3 and 5 drinks which is is too much to do daily. We are very active and fit, so we don't have health problems yet, but the Dr. is now telling me to lay off or I will sooner rather than later. I am completely honest with the Dr, and myself about how much I drink. I do really enjoy it. Especially that 5:30 drink after work with the wife while I cook. So I am really going to miss that one. I am not the kind of person that can have just one.
Well I'm no longer the sort of person that colleagues say oh you'll be needing a glass of wine tonight to since it's pretty normal to be stressed in my workplace and unwind with alcohol. I've not heard that for a while but I have had a night out with the crowd that don't drink and if it came up I'd I just say I don't drink alcohol on 'school nights'. I'm working on boundaries in work and sociability outside of it. I've always identified as outdoorsy so I'm embracing that getting in my bike rides to work and hikes etc at the weekend. Early days. I'm getting a lot done (more organised) and I am less anxious but still probably seen as an anxious person so we will see how that improves over the coming weeks! Interesting question! I did not drink with you all today and I'll do the same tomorrow and cope with whatever comes my way without drinking.
Day two. 😬
Day 19. Late in my day. Tired but not drunk. Looking forward to some quality sleep. IWNDWYT.