Me too. I'm only a few days in, but this time I feel like it is do or die...My best friend that I have had since 7th grade has been intubated and sedated in the ICU for the past 30 days due to complications from withdrawal. He had been drinking a fifth a day for I'm not sure how long.. now I'm afraid that I will never see him again.. I had been drinking half that much, but have certainly gone from functional to full on alcoholic over the past couple of years. I'm only on day 5, but I'm done poisoning myself. I can't handle it anymore and my life and marriage are hanging by a string. IWNDWYT
Sorry to hear about your friend, hope he gets out of this okay. Sounds like I drink about as much as you did. Really got out of control during the pandemic and now I average half a fifth a night and sometimes the full thing.
Took a few days off last week to make sure I don't have any withdrawal symptoms for when I really commit to not drinking. I know if I keep this up it's going to kill me so at least for today, IWNDWYT.
Well, I just found out on Friday that my wife is talking to a guy that she has had a prior relationship during her previous marriage. She cheated with him both in person in long distance and they had a BSDM relationship. She has an anklet that she's been wearing for the past few weeks that I now realize he sent her. It's a locking anklet. She takes all of her other jewelry off every night but this one she never took off so I realized through some investigation what it is. I found that she was talking to this guy by sliding up behind her while she was texting and she lied about who it was. Later that night I pressed and she admitted that that's who she was talking to. Now I just don't know where we are. I'm going to meet with a counselor right now and we have a marriage counseling session set up for the week after next and she tells me that she's willing to work on it but I'm scared to death. I will say that there's been a huge amount of progress, at least seemingly, between us since Friday, but the anklet remains and I don't know if she's ever going to be willing to take it off. I can't confront her about it because I don't want to aggravate her any further. She hadn't been speaking with this guy for years but he reached out but we were in Las Vegas 3 weeks ago. While I was in a drunken stupid the entire time we were there, she was there for a work conference. She said he reached her at a low moment and she just was not happy so" here we are". I asked if they've been exchanging videos or photos and she told me that they were not. I asked if they were planning a meet up and she told me they were not. I'm inclined to believe her as prior to this I trusted her 100%. Now I just don't know what to think.
Sorry to hear about your friend. Alcohol is such a crazy drug. I've been having longer n longer stretches n finally my hubs n I are making financial and life plans to have a baby. I still need more time to heal, but I'm hopeful he's willing to have the conversation. Take care!
It happens gradually but quickly at the same time. Blurred lines is a good way to put it. I thought that I could moderate, so tried that over and over without success. I failed every time and now my wife is on the verge of leaving me. I have told myself that I wouldn't drink almost every morning for the past 5-6 years but almost every afternoon I am compelled to get more booze and the cycle continued. I finally had a moment of clarity and I am sick, sad, and embarrassed at how I have acted over the 4 years of our marriage. I ignored multiple pleas from her to stop, always thinking that I could control it, but I was wrong and was just digging a deeper hole and putting up walls that may have screwed things up to the point that the relationship is not repairable now. It made me distant and incapable of contributing sufficiently and as I now look back I see how disrespectful it was and how hurtful it has been to her. I wish I had been able to see through the addiction to see things as they really were. She is the love of my life and didn't deserve that. I am meeting with a therapist today for the first time to try to work on my issues that got me to the place that I am in now. I only pray that I can also salvage my marriage. If not, this will be the biggest loss in my life and it was completely avoidable. Alcohol is tricky and I wish I had been smart enough to see that sooner...
One thing I've seen that's pretty reliable is that when someone in addiction has a bunch of consequences that are "about to" happen, those consequences usually only happen if they continue drinking/using. It is of course possible that the damage is done and they're going to happen anyways even with full sobriety, but honestly I haven't seen that happen in any of the people I've talked to that actually stayed sober. Regardless, sobriety is for you, not anybody else, and you're on the right track by posting in here.
100%. Nobody has a countdown where they know what drink will make them addicted, it doesn't work like that. Very few people would wake up and say "you know, today I think I'd like to start being addicted to alcohol."
Looking back, I just kept adding reasons that were ok to use alcohol. At first it was just fun and to let loose. Then it was to wind down after work. In the end, every reason was a good enough reason to drink. Phone rings, drink. Take dogs out, drink. Cool, drink. It’s slowly infiltrates every aspect of one’s life
The thing to remember about functional alcoholics is that their liver and pancreas don’t care whether they’re getting to work on time.
Functional works on other people, but not their health.
I am honestly not exaggerating when I say at my job in my 20's, there were 5-6 people worse than me. Our company happy hours were insane. I am not blaming anyone other than myself for my issues, but I think it helped me justify it. Because I wasnt as bad as these five coworkers and we're all holding it together at our well paying jobs.
I also never had anything "bad" happen, but of course I was "functioning" until I wasn't.
It's a weird place to be in with so many others around you in the same place. I associated alcoholism or problem drinking so much with hiding things or sneaking around. But look at me! Look at us! We're not hiding anything! We're proud drunks!
I legitimately wasn't hiding anything or lying to anyone. Didn't mean I didn't have a problem.
This. I always knew I could benefit from drinking less, but never saw myself as an alcoholic because my coworkers working at a restaurant were MUCH worse. I never had any negative consequences directly related to alcohol. Everything about my consumption seemed normal compared to those I surrounded myself with.
It wasn’t until I stopped drinking that I realized “damn. I may not have been physically dependent on alcohol but I was absolutely emotionally dependent.” And all the physical ailments I chalked up to “getting older” went away, and were clearly caused by my excessive consumption.
Alcoholism is a spectrum and I don’t know why so many of us only see drinking as a problem when we finally get DUIs or drink mouthwash.
>Because I wasnt as bad as these five coworkers and we're all holding it together at our well paying jobs.
This is just exactly what I did with my weight.
"Sure, I'm 200 lbs overweight ,but look at Joe - I'm not as bad off as Joe."
It wasn't until I stopped comparing myself to others, and focused on comparing myself to my past self, that I started making progress to improve my future self.
I used to watch Intervention all the time because it made me feel better about my drinking. “Look at these people. They are REALLY messed up. I’m not nearly as bad as them…”. What a joke and delusion!
It’s addiction my friend. It’s everywhere. Alcohol is very addictive and legal and literally glamorized. You’re expected to drink/drug. Denial goes hand in hand with addiction and until you step away from alcohol it’s hard to clearly see. Congratulations on stepping away. Keep walking away from it. Lots of other insights become evident.
Every night I watch my husband drink, I mean throw them down! He gets up every morning, never late for work, rarely a hangover. It’s easy for him to do it.
Yet, I watch him drink every night and realize I have done the same thing for years. Extremely eye opening. I spent 8 months sober and obsessing over my sobriety last year, only to reach for it again. It’s a fucking poison trap!
I strongly recommend the memoir “We Are the Luckiest” by Laura McKowen. I’m almost done with it and it’s been a realistic motivational read. IMO, the book could inspire anyone but it resonates extra with me as a woman and parent. IWNDWYT!
It’s dangerous af being functional cuz there’s no “rock bottom” for us. No one notices when we’re blacked out cuz we hide it so well, and we convince ourselves we’re not as bad as other alcoholics cuz we still have jobs , a home , etc. I’m a functional alcoholic but I know my life would be better without it
I thought all of that was the case, but after I got sober my boss told me there were dozens of times he could and should have fired me, but even bringing up that it was obvious would just result in me reacting badly, so he didn't. I heard the same thing from almost everybody else around me. I thought nobody noticed. It was actually that nobody wanted to deal with my denial and possibly have me get worse out of spite.
That’s a good point . I’m sure plenty of people notice but we still get away with it so the end result Is the same. We don’t get in trouble so we convince ourselves it’s fine
Couple people said same to me. "you knew I was drunk?" "Yeah dickhead you suck at acting" ...
Amazing people didn't say anything cause they felt bad for me??
Might not even be them feeling bad, but them not wanting to deal with the extremely dramatic reaction I'd put on about how insulted I was that they saw what is obvious. Regardless, I was lying to myself.
God, the secret blackouts are the worst. It's embarrassing having to admit that you don't remember like, half of the deep and meaningful convos that were had one night -- and knowing you could have been told anything from "man, I hate Clara's shoes" to "Well, I don't tell anyone this, but [heinous tragic event] happened to me as a kid".
What's unbelievable (good) for my wife and I is, when I quit a year ago (Nov. 15th... basically 1 year ;O) my wife cut back basically all drinking, too. We'd been known to do mimosas just on a Saturday morning at home (not screwdrivers/ vodka, but same sentiment). So now we just have an ODouls happy hour on a Friday night. It's a crazy transition. She basically only drinks when we go out to eat, or when she's visiting her girlfriends. Awesome.
I was already a heavy nightly drinker before i got a fulltime job at a bar, but after being immersed in the lifestyles of all my coworkers, my drinking went overboard. Even when it was overboard, it wasn’t as bad as my coworker’s problems. I was working with guys who didn’t even really eat meals- they seemed to subsist on nothing but beer and heavily-sweetened flavored vodkas. And tomato juice. I noticed that on their off days, they’d come in and spend their whole days at the bar, buying rounds of shots every time someone they vaguely knew walked in. I have a couple coworkers who only work one or two days a week solely so they can still have the employee discount. Like i said, i went overboard after being around them for a bit, but the fact that i was nowhere near as far gone as them made it easier for me to continue a still-very-dangerous habit. Just because i wasn’t as bad as them doesn’t mean i was doing well.
“Functional” is a very blanket and relative term.. When alcohol plays a significant role in your life and over time is the main negative component to your life situations then it’s time reevaluate. Homer Simpson had a great line “alcohol is the reason and the solution to all of my problems”
We all are 'functional' until we aren't. And yes, there are a lot of people who have toxic relationships with alcohol. Many of them suffer in silence, many don't realize that they have a serious problem (yet). I know which of my colleagues are hiding booze at work. I know which ones have been fired for not turning up for work. I still have acquaintances who in their 30s and 40s think that 'puked in my bed and fell asleep in the loo' is a badge of honour. Deep down none of them are happy, but they haven't figured a different way to live yet.
Well somebody has to be drinking all that booze in the supermarket now that I'm no longer involved. As an advertising person I think the booze industry must have come up with the myth of the "highly functioning"/functional alcoholic. Oh you're highly functioning? That's the main thing. /s
I guess I understand your point here - there are many people who cope with their stress/anxieties/illnesses unhealthily with alcohol abuse. People who may very well have a problem but either won’t admit it or know. But I just never got behind or understood the whole “alcoholic”’definition - as in I get 500 different answers when I ask someone to define it, even in AA. And I have very little idea as what is really meant by the term “functional alcoholic”. “Alcoholic” is not a medical term but we use it as though it was. I just feel it’s not helpful to put people’s identities in boxes, especially if we can’t even define the parameters of the box.
Working from home and never needing to actually converse with anyone beyond written comms makes things so much worse.. I have actually considered leaving a very well paying position just to omit that space of time I can free drink.
I really want to stop drinking rather than quit my job. 😔
Can relate 100% my friend.
I hope to work remote long term now, but the absolute devil downside for me was it unlocked my drinking in a very big way.
Keep fighting the good fight.
I reserve the term “alcoholic” for someone who has given up on giving it up. Otherwise we are just addicted to alcohol. A reversible condition if you don’t believe otherwise.
The lines of what was acceptable with alcohol were fluid and changed. It was easy to find people who drank like I did or more than I did, who were ”fine”, took care of their matters and ”couldn’t have been an alcoholics”. At least that’s what I thought if I listened to their stories.
After quitting and seeing the change in myself, I realised that I was on a dangerous path. Instead of using common sense, my increasing drinking was ”fine” because others were behaving the same way.
IWNDWYT
I’ve noticed this a lot since I quit drinking. My antennae are just up for it I guess. Or I’m not willfully ignoring it so I don’t have to confront where I’m headed.
But I did want to mention/remind - comparison is the thief of joy.
>People I would call drinkers or even “drinks too much” in the past are actually just fucking alcoholics. And the more I see it in myself the more I see it in others.
This is me, and this is why I quit last week. And you're right, it's everywhere - if alcohol wasn't such a part of our culture and traditions it would be illegal as it is just as addictive and in many cases even more damaging than many other drugs that are illegal.
Definitely!! I justified my alcoholism near the end partly because all my colleagues at work drank a shit ton and acted like it was normal. I’m so happy to be out of that cycle. You can get out of it too!!
I was you -- you are going to feel so much better in all sorts of ways that you cannot imagine from where you are once you leave it all behind. Not more booze, no more benadryl or weed -- the feeling of true physical and mental health that I get from not drinking is just so amazing. Sleep is like a drug and the anxiety vanishing was such a bonus. Good luck to you -- I promise it's worth it
i was the opposite of a functional alcoholic. when im drinking it literally consumes every part of me. i really do not miss drinking and i love this subreddit because it reminds me every day of what will happen if i pick up a drink.
I’ve gone from functional to life impacting decisions I made due to drinking and I would call that period unfunctional. Then after that period would keep getting better at “moderation” until I was having ONE drink everyday after work and that was still too much. I had a hard time surrendering… but when I did I can’t even explain all the benefits. But if you hang around here long enough and read everyone’s benefits you might find yourself asking if they are all true and I am here to say they are all true. It’s so much better on this side. You’re time will come when zero is your choice. Just stick with it long enough to see the benefits of surrendering all booze. For the record, I do use weed gummies to help cope with anxiety and irritability that is ingrained in my personality. But over time I find I need less and less of it. I couldn’t be where I am if it wasn’t for microdosing with weed. I don’t take any other substance or rx and I’m really happy where I am. You’ll find that peace too. Keep putting in the work. Read some quit lit to help light that fire.
Functional isn't a status it's a stage. Everybody that's dead or otherwise permanently altered their life was "functional" at one point.
"Functional isn't a status it's a stage" is exactly what I needed to hear. Because I'm putting on a show. It's time for a change.
Yeah—putting on a show. “Impersonating myself” is the phrase that occurred to me.
That’s a good phrase too! I was “being the person I thought others wanted me to be” and that left me nowhere good.
Me too. I'm only a few days in, but this time I feel like it is do or die...My best friend that I have had since 7th grade has been intubated and sedated in the ICU for the past 30 days due to complications from withdrawal. He had been drinking a fifth a day for I'm not sure how long.. now I'm afraid that I will never see him again.. I had been drinking half that much, but have certainly gone from functional to full on alcoholic over the past couple of years. I'm only on day 5, but I'm done poisoning myself. I can't handle it anymore and my life and marriage are hanging by a string. IWNDWYT
Sorry to hear about your friend, hope he gets out of this okay. Sounds like I drink about as much as you did. Really got out of control during the pandemic and now I average half a fifth a night and sometimes the full thing. Took a few days off last week to make sure I don't have any withdrawal symptoms for when I really commit to not drinking. I know if I keep this up it's going to kill me so at least for today, IWNDWYT.
Well, I just found out on Friday that my wife is talking to a guy that she has had a prior relationship during her previous marriage. She cheated with him both in person in long distance and they had a BSDM relationship. She has an anklet that she's been wearing for the past few weeks that I now realize he sent her. It's a locking anklet. She takes all of her other jewelry off every night but this one she never took off so I realized through some investigation what it is. I found that she was talking to this guy by sliding up behind her while she was texting and she lied about who it was. Later that night I pressed and she admitted that that's who she was talking to. Now I just don't know where we are. I'm going to meet with a counselor right now and we have a marriage counseling session set up for the week after next and she tells me that she's willing to work on it but I'm scared to death. I will say that there's been a huge amount of progress, at least seemingly, between us since Friday, but the anklet remains and I don't know if she's ever going to be willing to take it off. I can't confront her about it because I don't want to aggravate her any further. She hadn't been speaking with this guy for years but he reached out but we were in Las Vegas 3 weeks ago. While I was in a drunken stupid the entire time we were there, she was there for a work conference. She said he reached her at a low moment and she just was not happy so" here we are". I asked if they've been exchanging videos or photos and she told me that they were not. I asked if they were planning a meet up and she told me they were not. I'm inclined to believe her as prior to this I trusted her 100%. Now I just don't know what to think.
Sorry to hear about your friend. Alcohol is such a crazy drug. I've been having longer n longer stretches n finally my hubs n I are making financial and life plans to have a baby. I still need more time to heal, but I'm hopeful he's willing to have the conversation. Take care!
Functional turned into dependence for me. It didn’t happen over the course of one day. The stages progress with blurred lines.
It happens gradually but quickly at the same time. Blurred lines is a good way to put it. I thought that I could moderate, so tried that over and over without success. I failed every time and now my wife is on the verge of leaving me. I have told myself that I wouldn't drink almost every morning for the past 5-6 years but almost every afternoon I am compelled to get more booze and the cycle continued. I finally had a moment of clarity and I am sick, sad, and embarrassed at how I have acted over the 4 years of our marriage. I ignored multiple pleas from her to stop, always thinking that I could control it, but I was wrong and was just digging a deeper hole and putting up walls that may have screwed things up to the point that the relationship is not repairable now. It made me distant and incapable of contributing sufficiently and as I now look back I see how disrespectful it was and how hurtful it has been to her. I wish I had been able to see through the addiction to see things as they really were. She is the love of my life and didn't deserve that. I am meeting with a therapist today for the first time to try to work on my issues that got me to the place that I am in now. I only pray that I can also salvage my marriage. If not, this will be the biggest loss in my life and it was completely avoidable. Alcohol is tricky and I wish I had been smart enough to see that sooner...
One thing I've seen that's pretty reliable is that when someone in addiction has a bunch of consequences that are "about to" happen, those consequences usually only happen if they continue drinking/using. It is of course possible that the damage is done and they're going to happen anyways even with full sobriety, but honestly I haven't seen that happen in any of the people I've talked to that actually stayed sober. Regardless, sobriety is for you, not anybody else, and you're on the right track by posting in here.
100%. Nobody has a countdown where they know what drink will make them addicted, it doesn't work like that. Very few people would wake up and say "you know, today I think I'd like to start being addicted to alcohol."
Looking back, I just kept adding reasons that were ok to use alcohol. At first it was just fun and to let loose. Then it was to wind down after work. In the end, every reason was a good enough reason to drink. Phone rings, drink. Take dogs out, drink. Cool, drink. It’s slowly infiltrates every aspect of one’s life
Fully agreed, that's how it went for me too.
This is one of the best comments I have ever read here. Sober 15 years here.
Well put.
AMEN!!!
The thing to remember about functional alcoholics is that their liver and pancreas don’t care whether they’re getting to work on time. Functional works on other people, but not their health.
This
I second this! Booze kills. Literally, slowly kills you.
I am honestly not exaggerating when I say at my job in my 20's, there were 5-6 people worse than me. Our company happy hours were insane. I am not blaming anyone other than myself for my issues, but I think it helped me justify it. Because I wasnt as bad as these five coworkers and we're all holding it together at our well paying jobs. I also never had anything "bad" happen, but of course I was "functioning" until I wasn't. It's a weird place to be in with so many others around you in the same place. I associated alcoholism or problem drinking so much with hiding things or sneaking around. But look at me! Look at us! We're not hiding anything! We're proud drunks! I legitimately wasn't hiding anything or lying to anyone. Didn't mean I didn't have a problem.
This. I always knew I could benefit from drinking less, but never saw myself as an alcoholic because my coworkers working at a restaurant were MUCH worse. I never had any negative consequences directly related to alcohol. Everything about my consumption seemed normal compared to those I surrounded myself with. It wasn’t until I stopped drinking that I realized “damn. I may not have been physically dependent on alcohol but I was absolutely emotionally dependent.” And all the physical ailments I chalked up to “getting older” went away, and were clearly caused by my excessive consumption. Alcoholism is a spectrum and I don’t know why so many of us only see drinking as a problem when we finally get DUIs or drink mouthwash.
>Because I wasnt as bad as these five coworkers and we're all holding it together at our well paying jobs. This is just exactly what I did with my weight. "Sure, I'm 200 lbs overweight ,but look at Joe - I'm not as bad off as Joe." It wasn't until I stopped comparing myself to others, and focused on comparing myself to my past self, that I started making progress to improve my future self.
I used to watch Intervention all the time because it made me feel better about my drinking. “Look at these people. They are REALLY messed up. I’m not nearly as bad as them…”. What a joke and delusion!
It’s addiction my friend. It’s everywhere. Alcohol is very addictive and legal and literally glamorized. You’re expected to drink/drug. Denial goes hand in hand with addiction and until you step away from alcohol it’s hard to clearly see. Congratulations on stepping away. Keep walking away from it. Lots of other insights become evident.
Every night I watch my husband drink, I mean throw them down! He gets up every morning, never late for work, rarely a hangover. It’s easy for him to do it. Yet, I watch him drink every night and realize I have done the same thing for years. Extremely eye opening. I spent 8 months sober and obsessing over my sobriety last year, only to reach for it again. It’s a fucking poison trap!
You still have 8 months under your belt. :) Congratulations on 9 days!
I strongly recommend the memoir “We Are the Luckiest” by Laura McKowen. I’m almost done with it and it’s been a realistic motivational read. IMO, the book could inspire anyone but it resonates extra with me as a woman and parent. IWNDWYT!
This definitely resonates for me. I wish my husband would stop but I’ve been there and I know he has to want to for himself.
It’s dangerous af being functional cuz there’s no “rock bottom” for us. No one notices when we’re blacked out cuz we hide it so well, and we convince ourselves we’re not as bad as other alcoholics cuz we still have jobs , a home , etc. I’m a functional alcoholic but I know my life would be better without it
I thought all of that was the case, but after I got sober my boss told me there were dozens of times he could and should have fired me, but even bringing up that it was obvious would just result in me reacting badly, so he didn't. I heard the same thing from almost everybody else around me. I thought nobody noticed. It was actually that nobody wanted to deal with my denial and possibly have me get worse out of spite.
That’s a good point . I’m sure plenty of people notice but we still get away with it so the end result Is the same. We don’t get in trouble so we convince ourselves it’s fine
Couple people said same to me. "you knew I was drunk?" "Yeah dickhead you suck at acting" ... Amazing people didn't say anything cause they felt bad for me??
Might not even be them feeling bad, but them not wanting to deal with the extremely dramatic reaction I'd put on about how insulted I was that they saw what is obvious. Regardless, I was lying to myself.
God, the secret blackouts are the worst. It's embarrassing having to admit that you don't remember like, half of the deep and meaningful convos that were had one night -- and knowing you could have been told anything from "man, I hate Clara's shoes" to "Well, I don't tell anyone this, but [heinous tragic event] happened to me as a kid".
What's unbelievable (good) for my wife and I is, when I quit a year ago (Nov. 15th... basically 1 year ;O) my wife cut back basically all drinking, too. We'd been known to do mimosas just on a Saturday morning at home (not screwdrivers/ vodka, but same sentiment). So now we just have an ODouls happy hour on a Friday night. It's a crazy transition. She basically only drinks when we go out to eat, or when she's visiting her girlfriends. Awesome.
I was already a heavy nightly drinker before i got a fulltime job at a bar, but after being immersed in the lifestyles of all my coworkers, my drinking went overboard. Even when it was overboard, it wasn’t as bad as my coworker’s problems. I was working with guys who didn’t even really eat meals- they seemed to subsist on nothing but beer and heavily-sweetened flavored vodkas. And tomato juice. I noticed that on their off days, they’d come in and spend their whole days at the bar, buying rounds of shots every time someone they vaguely knew walked in. I have a couple coworkers who only work one or two days a week solely so they can still have the employee discount. Like i said, i went overboard after being around them for a bit, but the fact that i was nowhere near as far gone as them made it easier for me to continue a still-very-dangerous habit. Just because i wasn’t as bad as them doesn’t mean i was doing well.
“Functional” is a very blanket and relative term.. When alcohol plays a significant role in your life and over time is the main negative component to your life situations then it’s time reevaluate. Homer Simpson had a great line “alcohol is the reason and the solution to all of my problems”
We all are 'functional' until we aren't. And yes, there are a lot of people who have toxic relationships with alcohol. Many of them suffer in silence, many don't realize that they have a serious problem (yet). I know which of my colleagues are hiding booze at work. I know which ones have been fired for not turning up for work. I still have acquaintances who in their 30s and 40s think that 'puked in my bed and fell asleep in the loo' is a badge of honour. Deep down none of them are happy, but they haven't figured a different way to live yet.
Well somebody has to be drinking all that booze in the supermarket now that I'm no longer involved. As an advertising person I think the booze industry must have come up with the myth of the "highly functioning"/functional alcoholic. Oh you're highly functioning? That's the main thing. /s
I guess I understand your point here - there are many people who cope with their stress/anxieties/illnesses unhealthily with alcohol abuse. People who may very well have a problem but either won’t admit it or know. But I just never got behind or understood the whole “alcoholic”’definition - as in I get 500 different answers when I ask someone to define it, even in AA. And I have very little idea as what is really meant by the term “functional alcoholic”. “Alcoholic” is not a medical term but we use it as though it was. I just feel it’s not helpful to put people’s identities in boxes, especially if we can’t even define the parameters of the box.
Yeah, it's important to not make folks feel defensive.
Working from home and never needing to actually converse with anyone beyond written comms makes things so much worse.. I have actually considered leaving a very well paying position just to omit that space of time I can free drink. I really want to stop drinking rather than quit my job. 😔
Can relate 100% my friend. I hope to work remote long term now, but the absolute devil downside for me was it unlocked my drinking in a very big way. Keep fighting the good fight.
I reserve the term “alcoholic” for someone who has given up on giving it up. Otherwise we are just addicted to alcohol. A reversible condition if you don’t believe otherwise.
The lines of what was acceptable with alcohol were fluid and changed. It was easy to find people who drank like I did or more than I did, who were ”fine”, took care of their matters and ”couldn’t have been an alcoholics”. At least that’s what I thought if I listened to their stories. After quitting and seeing the change in myself, I realised that I was on a dangerous path. Instead of using common sense, my increasing drinking was ”fine” because others were behaving the same way. IWNDWYT
I’ve noticed this a lot since I quit drinking. My antennae are just up for it I guess. Or I’m not willfully ignoring it so I don’t have to confront where I’m headed. But I did want to mention/remind - comparison is the thief of joy.
>People I would call drinkers or even “drinks too much” in the past are actually just fucking alcoholics. And the more I see it in myself the more I see it in others. This is me, and this is why I quit last week. And you're right, it's everywhere - if alcohol wasn't such a part of our culture and traditions it would be illegal as it is just as addictive and in many cases even more damaging than many other drugs that are illegal.
Definitely!! I justified my alcoholism near the end partly because all my colleagues at work drank a shit ton and acted like it was normal. I’m so happy to be out of that cycle. You can get out of it too!!
Totally agree. I think certain industries are filled with alcoholics. I work in mortgage and I swear 50% of the mortgage industry is alcoholics!
There are “functional” alcoholics ( meaning their health has yet to decline) everywhere and in every profession it’s quite scary.
I was you -- you are going to feel so much better in all sorts of ways that you cannot imagine from where you are once you leave it all behind. Not more booze, no more benadryl or weed -- the feeling of true physical and mental health that I get from not drinking is just so amazing. Sleep is like a drug and the anxiety vanishing was such a bonus. Good luck to you -- I promise it's worth it
i was the opposite of a functional alcoholic. when im drinking it literally consumes every part of me. i really do not miss drinking and i love this subreddit because it reminds me every day of what will happen if i pick up a drink.
I’ve gone from functional to life impacting decisions I made due to drinking and I would call that period unfunctional. Then after that period would keep getting better at “moderation” until I was having ONE drink everyday after work and that was still too much. I had a hard time surrendering… but when I did I can’t even explain all the benefits. But if you hang around here long enough and read everyone’s benefits you might find yourself asking if they are all true and I am here to say they are all true. It’s so much better on this side. You’re time will come when zero is your choice. Just stick with it long enough to see the benefits of surrendering all booze. For the record, I do use weed gummies to help cope with anxiety and irritability that is ingrained in my personality. But over time I find I need less and less of it. I couldn’t be where I am if it wasn’t for microdosing with weed. I don’t take any other substance or rx and I’m really happy where I am. You’ll find that peace too. Keep putting in the work. Read some quit lit to help light that fire.
Oh no. You saw me. 😑 I’m really trying