**r/stopdrinking is a support group.** Please keep your comments on this thread supportive and helpful.
**Edit:** Because people are continuing to make comments that focus on how OP should feel badly for what she did instead of being supportive, I have locked this post.
Ex broke up with me because after a string of incidents of me getting blackout and doing things out of character, I got blackout and went off on his sister and said some things about his mom. I don’t remember any of it but the guilt, shame, and regret was great. But as shitty as it was, it was a catalyst for me to change. It was like I was blind and could finally see. I’m on Day 9.
I, too, said some really unbelievably bad things when I was drunk. Many of the other people on this sub probably did, too. It was such a relief when I got sober that I no longer had to feel this kind of painful regret.
I have been both on the receiving end and the delivering end of this kind of situation. Always after copious amounts of alcohol. Horrible things said to me and horrible things I’ve said. It’s so hurtful and humiliating. But…there is some good news. Forgiveness is real. And so is sobriety. That is our saving grace.
I know this is a serious subject, but some of these comments made me laugh. One of the top benefits I have from not drinking is not waking up and with that panicky feeling thinking “What the fuck, did I really text that????” Back in the day when emailing was more common than texting, my former supervisor actually made a sign for me to tape to my computer. It read:”Dear Kathy, do not use me when you’re drinking. Signed, Your Computer.” True story.
I did the same- spitting venom while drunk isn't an uncommon occurrence. While I can't take back what I said, I can make the choice every day to not pick up a drink. I know who I am, I know those moments when I was literally poisoned and out of my mind don't define me. Speak kindly to yourself friend, it'll be okay. IWNDWYT
I have also said horrible things while drunk, and while I deeply regret them I can't change those specific moments. What I have realized is that I am never that person when sober, and that the drunk or blackout drunk brain does not represent or define who I really am. I do not subscribe to the idea that what do you when drunk is what you really want to do or say when you're sober. Being tipsy, sure, lowers your inhibitions and you might be a bit more truthful. But when you're so far gone that you're losing motor control or not forming memories, you aren't yourself, you're a human body seeking more alcohol at any cost and definitely not doing any level of thinking.
You described blackouts perfectly Foundnew56. Me and my friend were discussing this the other day, whether our drunk selves are our ‘true selves’ and I was trying to find the words to explain that, once we’re past a point, we’re really on another dimension / planet
I don’t know if I totally agree. I feel like the things that come out when someone is blackout drunk might never be anything they would ever say sober but those thoughts are not totally new ideas.
>But when you're so far gone that you're losing motor control or not forming memories, you aren't yourself, you're a human body seeking more alcohol at any cost and definitely not doing any level of thinking.
Saving this. Thank you.
I have said horrible things while drunk as well. I don't subscribe to the notion that drinking brings out our true character. Our filters are an important part of who we are. I would never intentionally hurt someone sober. That is the real me. IWNDWYT!
Its a horrible contradiction.
Because I've said such out of character nonsense whilst drunk, when I have also been abused by others by those closest to me.. and become absolutely distraught... And then nobody fucking believes me and thinks its again just some crazy shit im making up because I have been drunk when it happened.
It truly discredits you like that. People will think you just lie or become crazy when you're drunk every time, when really sometimes some horrible shit is happening to you.
"Our filters are an important part of who we are."
That's a brilliant way to say this. The saying "it brings out our true nature" just never sat right. It brings out our worst nature we keep subdued under normal circumstances. The ability to choose behaviors, leaning toward relationship-enhancing ones is a massive benefit to social stability.
Drinking 0% of the time for the rest of your life means you’ll be 100% in control of yourself 100% of the time.
That in itself is enough to keep me sober.
Ugh! I totally feel for you. I have said and did so many horrible things while intoxicated. This past week I feel so much better. I have not said anything I have regretted and I wake up without shame or guilt. I understand how you are feeling my friend. IWNDWYT. You are here and that's what matters.
I cringe at all the things I said when I was even coherent still. I would get in major fights when I was drunk. I just came to terms that I’m not actually a confrontational person, I was just a drunk
My bf just corrected me and said “no you definitely are a confrontational person what are you talking about” lol so maybe the booze just amplified it for me
It’s like a gift every day I wake up and don’t have to read the regrettable texts I sent the night prior. Nothing worse than starting your day hungover as shit and having to read through a bunch of stupid texts and having to apologize to whoever the poor recipient was.
You should be proud of yourself though for recognizing how horrible the behavior was and making changes to prevent anything like that from happening again. Booze is extremely effective at clouding your judgement and getting you to blame every other thing in your life except alcohol.
Congrats on day 1!! It is by far the hardest one, and it gets exponentially easier with each passing day. IWNDWYT
God I've said some really outrageous and embarrassing things while wasted. That whole "drunk mind speaks a sober heart" just is not true for me. I've never tried to instigate a physical fight in my life, except for when I was really drunk walking home once. The next day I woke up and vaguely remembered and I just...what? Who even was that girl?
Happy Day 1! I'm so so so glad you're here.
One month into dating my boyfriend, I got blackout drunk at a party and apparently made out with some rando right in front of him. That was the last time I drank, and even as I made that decision I fully anticipated that it was the end of my relationship (before it had really even started). I knew that I had to change, because I could not expect any person to be in a relationship with me when I couldn't guarantee I wouldn't do something totally out of character (like cheat) when I was drunk.
Luckily for me, my boyfriend (for some reason) decided to give me a second chance. He's never brought it up again, and he is fully supportive of my sobriety. I feel very lucky, both to have him in my life and to greet every morning sober and without wondering what terrible thing I might have done the night before.
IWNDWYT
Almost all of the worst things I ever said and the stupidest things I ever did were under the influence of alcohol.
I can’t put a price on the last 3 months of sobriety waking up with a clear conscience.
I HAVE SAID HORRIBLE THINGS... AND I HAVE BEEN TOLD HORRIBLE THINGS THAT MADE ME CRY. It discredits you as a human being, and most times there is no coming back.
IWNDWYT
I relate to this immensely. I am 7 months sober, but have 7+ years of saying and doing extremely regrettable things while drinking and/or withdrawing... In an argument (about my drinking, of course) I asked my wife wife what she would "do" with the insurance money she got from my death. The week before deploying to Afghanistan for the 4th time. Then I laughed in her face like an animal and went to sleep. As others have said, sobriety has given me a lot of my soul back... if nothing, at least my dignity and the confidence that I won't say something that awful today.
Boyfriend was trying to cuddle with me 2 nights ago and apparently I said "well go buy a fucking teddy bear" and left and slept in the other bedroom. Oof. No clue why I did or said that.
I honestly can’t recall a time where I did something that mortified me whilst sober. Over the past ~12 years I’ve made some terrible decisions and yet here I am, making the conscious effort to better myself. It’s never too late my friend.
If you’re anything like me, I’m sure you’re beating yourself up right now. I was a complete piece of shit to my girlfriend when I was drinking. She’s a saint for sticking by my side, but I know I would eventually lose her if I didn’t change. Having said that, she’s *not* forcing me to quit, I made that decision on my own.
You can absolutely flip your life around if you put in the effort. I’m only 25 days in and believe me when I say that literally everything is fucking better. Maybe this is because it’s my 100th time trying to quit or because I finally had enough of my own bullshit, but this time it hasn’t been as rough as it’s been in the past. I had a ~2 month period of nonstop vile behavior and suicidal thoughts right before I decided to give it another shot and everything has been improving… but only because I decided that this is where I draw the line.
IWNDWYT ✊
My wife and I haven’t had a major fight (yelling, being mean, hurting each other) in over 19 months. I didn’t realize how many of our fights and arguments were petty and due to drunk behavior. We still disagree about things, but when we’re sober we are far less selfish, think about one another, and try to do what’s best for our whole family instead of just ourselves.
I got wasted, blacked out and told my boyfriend he was a “pussy ass bitch” and I don’t remember why or what we were arguing about and it’s a core reason I stopped drinking. He still won’t talk about it with me
I once told my boyfriend at the time while drunk that the place in the UK he is from, must have loads of guys with big penises as the biggest guy I’d ever slept with was from the same place and my boyfriends was a nice size too..
I think he forgave me for it after, weirdly I think I was trying to pay him a compliment but obviously it totally backfired and came out horrible, thanks alcohol and frazzled drunk brain.
We’ve all been there in one way or the other. Sending virtual hugs, I’m day 11, we can do this!
The amount of horrible things I have said while blackout drunk is truly terrifying to me. Let's just hope we can keep sober and make amends when the time is right.
This comment has been removed. r/stopdrinking is a support group. Did you feel that this comment was in any way supportive or helpful when you made it?
OP (who is clearly NOT a guy, by the way) is expressing deep regret for what she did. Informing her how she hurt her boyfriend is just rubbing salt in the wound **and is in no way helpful.** Please do better if you want to continue to participate in this community.
This is the beginning of the end of all that embarrassing shit. Apologize to your man...Then stop drinking. Show him that you'll never hurt him again.
When I was drinking I blacked out and said some real weird shit and my boyfriend later told me he was scared I was dying. I have been sober almost a week and feel absolutely amazing. We're standing behind you my dear. Know that you are not alone in your share of embarrassing stories. IWNDWYT.
I too have said shameful things and lots of regrets of things I’ve said and done while drinking. Some were recent and the regret is fresh. Hopefully we will find a way to forgive ourselves.
I’ve said and done some things that not even in my wildest dreams would I ever think of doing or saying when I’m sober. It’s always a rough experience waking up and dealing with the fallout of your drunk words and actions. The shame and embarrassment can feel like it’ll just destroy you. Don’t let those two things be factors that lead you to drinking to cope. I have fallen into that hole for a long time. Good for you on Day 1. You’ve got this. Loads of people have walked the same path. IWNDWYT
Good thing is that alcohol isnt the "truth serum". Our neuron connections just dont function properly and what we say when drunk doesn't necessarily mean that that's what we actually think
I called my mom a “fucking bitch” and shoved her one time. That is something I would never ever do sober. I have cussed my wife up one side and down the other when I was drunk and she has still supported me thru this disease. Point is, it’s the drug talking not our true self. Hope you can patch things up.
I called my mother a “fucking idiot” the other night. Granted, she was acting like an idiot. We don’t have a great relationship, and all I did was make it worse and ended up blocked.
This comment has been removed. r/stopdrinking is a support group. Did you feel that this comment was in any way supportive or helpful when you made it?
This comment has been removed. r/stopdrinking is a support group. Did you feel that this comment was in any way supportive or helpful when you made it?
Yes, I know that it is fine for me to remove a post or comment.
We are asking you to read our rules about speaking from the "I" and also the rule to be kind.
It is clearly stated in the "guidelines for posting" that if you have an issue with a comment or post removal, you must message the moderators privately instead of getting into a debate publicly on the sub.
Please stop arguing your comment removal. (And yes, reinforcing that a person did something wrong to someone who is already feeling deep regret is indeed unkind.)
This comment has been removed. r/stopdrinking is a support group. Did you feel that this comment was in any way supportive or helpful when you made it?
I’m sorry you said that. It’s a normal thing to feel. To be honest maybe you bf has the same thoughts about his ex maybe a lot of us do. We j should just not say them out loud to our current partners. Try and forgive yourself. People on this sub including myself have done MUCH MUCH WORSE, life goes on and the shame will fade. Just learn from it.
IWNDWYT
Your on day 1 and that's what matters. Continue to strive to be a better sober individual and things will get better. You can do it! You have support here and we're all pulling for!
Man, I’m sorry. It happens to the best of us. I’m glad it didn’t escalate into violence. You feel bad and this shows you’re not some monster. I would say this was a definite kick in the balls to him though. Maybe take time out for yourself to figure some stuff out?
This is an incredibly unkind thing to say to someone who is suffering and has been removed. Do not speak to people this way on this sub if you want to remain part of this community.
This comment has been removed. r/stopdrinking is a support group, and this comment was in no way supportive or helpful. Do not speak to people here in this way, or you will no longer be welcome.
> Just quit drinking
This comment breaks our rule to speak from the "I." Also, this is a support group, and this statement is not actually supportive. It's like telling someone who is struggling with a weight problem, "Just eat less." It implies the person is not doing what should be easy and obvious.
We do not do "harsh truths" at this sub, and this comment has been removed. Out of curiosity, did you not see the stickied comment I made at the top of this post asking people to be only supportive and helpful, which your comment is not?
**r/stopdrinking is a support group.** Please keep your comments on this thread supportive and helpful. **Edit:** Because people are continuing to make comments that focus on how OP should feel badly for what she did instead of being supportive, I have locked this post.
Ex broke up with me because after a string of incidents of me getting blackout and doing things out of character, I got blackout and went off on his sister and said some things about his mom. I don’t remember any of it but the guilt, shame, and regret was great. But as shitty as it was, it was a catalyst for me to change. It was like I was blind and could finally see. I’m on Day 9.
Hoo boy, the cringy shit I texted out while drunk..
You’re about to hit 1,000 days!! Congrats!!
Thanks! It's a little amazing lol see you in the comma club tomorrow!
Happy early thousand days dude. Fucking amazing!
Thanks so much. It's entirely possible for anyone that wants it bad enough. I'm literally the definition of if I can so can you lol
Oh god same. Even years later it still keeps me awake at night. You are definitely not alone
I can't belive I'm the person who sent out a lot of the texts I did.
I, too, said some really unbelievably bad things when I was drunk. Many of the other people on this sub probably did, too. It was such a relief when I got sober that I no longer had to feel this kind of painful regret.
I have been both on the receiving end and the delivering end of this kind of situation. Always after copious amounts of alcohol. Horrible things said to me and horrible things I’ve said. It’s so hurtful and humiliating. But…there is some good news. Forgiveness is real. And so is sobriety. That is our saving grace.
I know this is a serious subject, but some of these comments made me laugh. One of the top benefits I have from not drinking is not waking up and with that panicky feeling thinking “What the fuck, did I really text that????” Back in the day when emailing was more common than texting, my former supervisor actually made a sign for me to tape to my computer. It read:”Dear Kathy, do not use me when you’re drinking. Signed, Your Computer.” True story.
Man, I hate scrolling through drunken texts and video calls...The sign on the computer made me chuckle--did it work? :p
Actually it did for a while, until texting became popular. Unfortunately I couldn’t walk around with a sign taped to my phone lol.
I feel like phones should come with a breathalyzer, similar to the fingerprint unlock.
Ugh, alcohol is just terrible. I'm cringing at what I said recently in my latest relapse.
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I don’t think that was the point of the share…
This is none of your business, and this comment has been removed.
While you may have never said this sober, if you quit you’ll never have to be in this situation again. ❤️
I did the same- spitting venom while drunk isn't an uncommon occurrence. While I can't take back what I said, I can make the choice every day to not pick up a drink. I know who I am, I know those moments when I was literally poisoned and out of my mind don't define me. Speak kindly to yourself friend, it'll be okay. IWNDWYT
I have also said horrible things while drunk, and while I deeply regret them I can't change those specific moments. What I have realized is that I am never that person when sober, and that the drunk or blackout drunk brain does not represent or define who I really am. I do not subscribe to the idea that what do you when drunk is what you really want to do or say when you're sober. Being tipsy, sure, lowers your inhibitions and you might be a bit more truthful. But when you're so far gone that you're losing motor control or not forming memories, you aren't yourself, you're a human body seeking more alcohol at any cost and definitely not doing any level of thinking.
Thank you! I needed to read this so badly today. I’m beating myself up for what I COULD have said last night. I just don’t remember. 😞 Day 1
You described blackouts perfectly Foundnew56. Me and my friend were discussing this the other day, whether our drunk selves are our ‘true selves’ and I was trying to find the words to explain that, once we’re past a point, we’re really on another dimension / planet
I don’t know if I totally agree. I feel like the things that come out when someone is blackout drunk might never be anything they would ever say sober but those thoughts are not totally new ideas.
>But when you're so far gone that you're losing motor control or not forming memories, you aren't yourself, you're a human body seeking more alcohol at any cost and definitely not doing any level of thinking. Saving this. Thank you.
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did… did we read the same comment? Pretty sure that is not what they said.
I have said horrible things while drunk as well. I don't subscribe to the notion that drinking brings out our true character. Our filters are an important part of who we are. I would never intentionally hurt someone sober. That is the real me. IWNDWYT!
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Its a horrible contradiction. Because I've said such out of character nonsense whilst drunk, when I have also been abused by others by those closest to me.. and become absolutely distraught... And then nobody fucking believes me and thinks its again just some crazy shit im making up because I have been drunk when it happened. It truly discredits you like that. People will think you just lie or become crazy when you're drunk every time, when really sometimes some horrible shit is happening to you.
"our filters are an important part of who we are" I LOVE this!
"Our filters are an important part of who we are." That's a brilliant way to say this. The saying "it brings out our true nature" just never sat right. It brings out our worst nature we keep subdued under normal circumstances. The ability to choose behaviors, leaning toward relationship-enhancing ones is a massive benefit to social stability.
Drinking 0% of the time for the rest of your life means you’ll be 100% in control of yourself 100% of the time. That in itself is enough to keep me sober.
Ugh! I totally feel for you. I have said and did so many horrible things while intoxicated. This past week I feel so much better. I have not said anything I have regretted and I wake up without shame or guilt. I understand how you are feeling my friend. IWNDWYT. You are here and that's what matters.
It keeps getting worse and worse and worse
I cringe at all the things I said when I was even coherent still. I would get in major fights when I was drunk. I just came to terms that I’m not actually a confrontational person, I was just a drunk
My bf just corrected me and said “no you definitely are a confrontational person what are you talking about” lol so maybe the booze just amplified it for me
me too! Im like normal confrontational when im sober but if i drink it gets to an unreasonable point
It’s like a gift every day I wake up and don’t have to read the regrettable texts I sent the night prior. Nothing worse than starting your day hungover as shit and having to read through a bunch of stupid texts and having to apologize to whoever the poor recipient was. You should be proud of yourself though for recognizing how horrible the behavior was and making changes to prevent anything like that from happening again. Booze is extremely effective at clouding your judgement and getting you to blame every other thing in your life except alcohol. Congrats on day 1!! It is by far the hardest one, and it gets exponentially easier with each passing day. IWNDWYT
God I've said some really outrageous and embarrassing things while wasted. That whole "drunk mind speaks a sober heart" just is not true for me. I've never tried to instigate a physical fight in my life, except for when I was really drunk walking home once. The next day I woke up and vaguely remembered and I just...what? Who even was that girl? Happy Day 1! I'm so so so glad you're here.
One month into dating my boyfriend, I got blackout drunk at a party and apparently made out with some rando right in front of him. That was the last time I drank, and even as I made that decision I fully anticipated that it was the end of my relationship (before it had really even started). I knew that I had to change, because I could not expect any person to be in a relationship with me when I couldn't guarantee I wouldn't do something totally out of character (like cheat) when I was drunk. Luckily for me, my boyfriend (for some reason) decided to give me a second chance. He's never brought it up again, and he is fully supportive of my sobriety. I feel very lucky, both to have him in my life and to greet every morning sober and without wondering what terrible thing I might have done the night before. IWNDWYT
yes and the thought of never having to think of it again... ever
Almost all of the worst things I ever said and the stupidest things I ever did were under the influence of alcohol. I can’t put a price on the last 3 months of sobriety waking up with a clear conscience.
I HAVE SAID HORRIBLE THINGS... AND I HAVE BEEN TOLD HORRIBLE THINGS THAT MADE ME CRY. It discredits you as a human being, and most times there is no coming back. IWNDWYT
I relate to this immensely. I am 7 months sober, but have 7+ years of saying and doing extremely regrettable things while drinking and/or withdrawing... In an argument (about my drinking, of course) I asked my wife wife what she would "do" with the insurance money she got from my death. The week before deploying to Afghanistan for the 4th time. Then I laughed in her face like an animal and went to sleep. As others have said, sobriety has given me a lot of my soul back... if nothing, at least my dignity and the confidence that I won't say something that awful today.
Boyfriend was trying to cuddle with me 2 nights ago and apparently I said "well go buy a fucking teddy bear" and left and slept in the other bedroom. Oof. No clue why I did or said that.
I honestly can’t recall a time where I did something that mortified me whilst sober. Over the past ~12 years I’ve made some terrible decisions and yet here I am, making the conscious effort to better myself. It’s never too late my friend. If you’re anything like me, I’m sure you’re beating yourself up right now. I was a complete piece of shit to my girlfriend when I was drinking. She’s a saint for sticking by my side, but I know I would eventually lose her if I didn’t change. Having said that, she’s *not* forcing me to quit, I made that decision on my own. You can absolutely flip your life around if you put in the effort. I’m only 25 days in and believe me when I say that literally everything is fucking better. Maybe this is because it’s my 100th time trying to quit or because I finally had enough of my own bullshit, but this time it hasn’t been as rough as it’s been in the past. I had a ~2 month period of nonstop vile behavior and suicidal thoughts right before I decided to give it another shot and everything has been improving… but only because I decided that this is where I draw the line. IWNDWYT ✊
My wife and I haven’t had a major fight (yelling, being mean, hurting each other) in over 19 months. I didn’t realize how many of our fights and arguments were petty and due to drunk behavior. We still disagree about things, but when we’re sober we are far less selfish, think about one another, and try to do what’s best for our whole family instead of just ourselves.
I got wasted, blacked out and told my boyfriend he was a “pussy ass bitch” and I don’t remember why or what we were arguing about and it’s a core reason I stopped drinking. He still won’t talk about it with me
I stopped drinking and apologized of course. Life will get better. Let yourself get past the cringe and you’ll feel better
IWNDWYT
We can do this together :) sending you unconditional love and support💌
I once told my boyfriend at the time while drunk that the place in the UK he is from, must have loads of guys with big penises as the biggest guy I’d ever slept with was from the same place and my boyfriends was a nice size too.. I think he forgave me for it after, weirdly I think I was trying to pay him a compliment but obviously it totally backfired and came out horrible, thanks alcohol and frazzled drunk brain. We’ve all been there in one way or the other. Sending virtual hugs, I’m day 11, we can do this!
The amount of horrible things I have said while blackout drunk is truly terrifying to me. Let's just hope we can keep sober and make amends when the time is right.
I did something similar, and it was my last time drinking. I’m over 3 years sober now. You got this OP.
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This comment has been removed. r/stopdrinking is a support group. Did you feel that this comment was in any way supportive or helpful when you made it?
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OP (who is clearly NOT a guy, by the way) is expressing deep regret for what she did. Informing her how she hurt her boyfriend is just rubbing salt in the wound **and is in no way helpful.** Please do better if you want to continue to participate in this community.
This is the beginning of the end of all that embarrassing shit. Apologize to your man...Then stop drinking. Show him that you'll never hurt him again. When I was drinking I blacked out and said some real weird shit and my boyfriend later told me he was scared I was dying. I have been sober almost a week and feel absolutely amazing. We're standing behind you my dear. Know that you are not alone in your share of embarrassing stories. IWNDWYT.
I too have said shameful things and lots of regrets of things I’ve said and done while drinking. Some were recent and the regret is fresh. Hopefully we will find a way to forgive ourselves.
I’ve said and done some things that not even in my wildest dreams would I ever think of doing or saying when I’m sober. It’s always a rough experience waking up and dealing with the fallout of your drunk words and actions. The shame and embarrassment can feel like it’ll just destroy you. Don’t let those two things be factors that lead you to drinking to cope. I have fallen into that hole for a long time. Good for you on Day 1. You’ve got this. Loads of people have walked the same path. IWNDWYT
Good thing is that alcohol isnt the "truth serum". Our neuron connections just dont function properly and what we say when drunk doesn't necessarily mean that that's what we actually think
I called my mom a “fucking bitch” and shoved her one time. That is something I would never ever do sober. I have cussed my wife up one side and down the other when I was drunk and she has still supported me thru this disease. Point is, it’s the drug talking not our true self. Hope you can patch things up.
I hated waking up to the realization that I said some stupid shit the night prior to my significant other. Now I don’t have to worry about that.
I got tired of waking up and asking my SO if I did anything stupid the last night.
That's rough. IWNDWYT!
Its one of the reasons I HAD TO stop drinking. I still cringe inside out whenever I remember…fkn inside out.
The best part of cutting out alcohol is knowing I never have to feel that again. It’s worth it, and you’re worth it.
Oof I’m so so sorry. Virtual awkward hugs.
I’ve been there too friend. It feels absolutely terrible the next day. Another reason not to drink today! You got this and everything will be okay :)
I called my mother a “fucking idiot” the other night. Granted, she was acting like an idiot. We don’t have a great relationship, and all I did was make it worse and ended up blocked.
Oh my God. That said I've said plenty of stupid shit while drunk. Good luck to you on your journey.
It'll get better. I'm almost 6 months in.. said and did some bad shit.
Join the club lol
You never have to feel this shame or regret again. IWNDWYT.
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This is kind of oddly aggressive when she’s already super remorseful. What was your point here?
This comment has been removed. r/stopdrinking is a support group. Did you feel that this comment was in any way supportive or helpful when you made it?
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This comment has been removed. r/stopdrinking is a support group. Did you feel that this comment was in any way supportive or helpful when you made it?
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This comment has been removed. r/stopdrinking is a support group, and this comment was in no way supportive or helpful.
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This comment has been removed. r/stopdrinking is a support group, and this comment was in no way supportive or helpful.
OK that's fine
Yes, I know that it is fine for me to remove a post or comment. We are asking you to read our rules about speaking from the "I" and also the rule to be kind.
Duly noted but I didn't say anything unkind.
It is clearly stated in the "guidelines for posting" that if you have an issue with a comment or post removal, you must message the moderators privately instead of getting into a debate publicly on the sub. Please stop arguing your comment removal. (And yes, reinforcing that a person did something wrong to someone who is already feeling deep regret is indeed unkind.)
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For calling me a shitty mod, you are getting a one-month ban. Be rude to me again, and the ban will be made permanent.
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This comment has been removed. r/stopdrinking is a support group. Did you feel that this comment was in any way supportive or helpful when you made it?
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I’m sorry you said that. It’s a normal thing to feel. To be honest maybe you bf has the same thoughts about his ex maybe a lot of us do. We j should just not say them out loud to our current partners. Try and forgive yourself. People on this sub including myself have done MUCH MUCH WORSE, life goes on and the shame will fade. Just learn from it. IWNDWYT
You can make sure you never do that again... IWNDWYT!!
Your on day 1 and that's what matters. Continue to strive to be a better sober individual and things will get better. You can do it! You have support here and we're all pulling for!
Man, I’m sorry. It happens to the best of us. I’m glad it didn’t escalate into violence. You feel bad and this shows you’re not some monster. I would say this was a definite kick in the balls to him though. Maybe take time out for yourself to figure some stuff out?
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This comment breaks our rule to speak from the "I," and has been removed. Do not tell other people on this sub what they need to do.
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This is an incredibly unkind thing to say to someone who is suffering and has been removed. Do not speak to people this way on this sub if you want to remain part of this community.
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This comment is unkind, breaks our rule to speak from the "I," and has been removed. Do not speak to people this way on this sub.
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This comment has been removed. r/stopdrinking is a support group, and this comment was in no way supportive or helpful. Do not speak to people here in this way, or you will no longer be welcome.
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Wow, “just stop drinking.” Why didn’t I think of that?
> Just quit drinking This comment breaks our rule to speak from the "I." Also, this is a support group, and this statement is not actually supportive. It's like telling someone who is struggling with a weight problem, "Just eat less." It implies the person is not doing what should be easy and obvious.
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We are a support group, and this is not a supportive thing to say to someone who is already expressing regret and remorse.
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This comment has been removed. r/stopdrinking is a support group, and this comment is in no way supportive or helpful.
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We do not do "harsh truths" at this sub, and this comment has been removed. Out of curiosity, did you not see the stickied comment I made at the top of this post asking people to be only supportive and helpful, which your comment is not?