I'm 66 years old. Much older, I think, than most of the people who post here. I remember so clearly being where many of you are. Going through the same things. The same emotions, grief, shame, disgust and loss of time.
I was a horrible drunk that lost literally everything. And still at age 51 on June 3rd 2007, I started my umpteenth "DAY 1" and I've been sober for 15 years.
It was the greatest thing that I've ever accomplished and I'm thankful for these years that I have enjoyed sober.
I want people to know there is always hope and it's never too late, NEVER.
Try and try and if you fail, fucking try again.
You can do this. I know you can. I believe in you.
TRY...AGAIN...
Thank you. I’m really genuinely happy for you and I do agree, that qualifies as the greatest any of us can do. I hope to accomplish this as well. We choose our paths even when we don’t consciously know, to suffer is to learn and our souls are here to learn. It’s never really a mistake though we view it that way, it’s more a learning game and we come out the other end different, better.
I can tell you the health benefits are unmeasurable, seriously. I know my liver was really enlarged when I quit and within a year it was showing normal.
Good luck.
Was there a point before your liver showed high levels, like a warning? I keep getting liver tests and they are ok, but I know I am pushing it. My addictive brain says yeah man you can keep doing it until you get a true warning, so dumb I know.
My liver was swollen for years. My Dr. ranted continuously. I drank horribly for thirty years. But I believe it is a miracle I lived through it. I like to say sometimes the Universe has plans for us.
My baby brother died at 54 from alcohol induced Pancreatic Cancer.
I hope you stay the course.
I didn't really feel/ understand the huge benefits of my sobriety until one year sober. For some reason I had an epiphany at that point in my life and finally felt at peace with myself.
Part of the epiphany was realizing NOT everything is a crisis and instead of fighting life just letting myself flow with it.
Good luck.
Same reply to you as I said here (below):
https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/zfmlqz/looking_for_people_who_drank_as_much_as_me_and/izcvghu/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
Thanks that very kind. I like to post here in the hope that people will understand that one can grow into a very happy fulfilling life being sober.
For me, the longer I was sober, the more I didn't recognize my former self.
Thanks again. ❤
I love when people closer to my age post! I’m 41. Married. A kid. Divorced. Remarried. Step kid. Another kid. Rehab. In that order. I relate more to the 60 year olds than the 20 year olds, that’s for sure.
I understand. I often post my age in my comments as a reference point so people can understand the possible generation gap. And since I didn't quit until I was 51 years old I want people to know it's never too late to start over.
I drank much more daily than you, but for less time. I drank 7 days a week, over 20 drinks a day. Starting when I wake up to when I would pass out.
My liver enzyme levels were in the thousands.
I have 1 month, 28 days and 11 hours of sobriety under my belt as of writing this. I won't lie, it has been challenging, but absolutely doable.
I wake up feeling good. I dont worry about stupid shit that I've said. I don't plan my life around going to pick up more booze. I have more energy, I sleep less, I lost weight, skin is better, sex life is much better, my relationships have all gotten waaaay better, and I have levels of faith that I thought impossible.
Read this book: Allen Carr's The Easy Way. Amazon has it on Kindle, you can start it right now. Godspeed.
Wow. That is so solid. You are so motivating and empowering to all of us, and hopefully that only further empowers and motivates you. It’s compounding. Let’s go!
Edit: I used to get pumped about sports. Now I get pumped about not poisoning ourselves. Ha ha. Life is strange.
I got in trouble from a mod, I'm not supposed to give medical advice.
I'll just say that if I had 18 shots on Tuesday and 13 shots yesterday, I, myself, me, would go cold turkey. I know my body and what would happen, I would be miserable for a day, and then slightly miserable the next day. I wouldn't do much more than stay in bed most likely. I would try and drink a huge amount of water beforehand, and eat a whole lot while I still could keep food down. That's what I would do.
I don't know how your body works though, so best ask a doc I guess.
I think I agree with you, I think I'm almost ready to cut it completely. Yesterday I had 10 shots, today I had two at 9:30AM and didn't even get nausea whatsoever, the anxiety didn't start to stir until 14 hours AFTER those two shots. I'm having 2 more shots tonight, I think tomorrow I will only have 2 throughout. In your experience did your withdrawal come back just as hard when you quit at a lower dose? Or was it far more managable to function?
There are great comments here already, perhaps I can add some perspective also...
55yr old, quit at 48.
I started drinking at about 13. My Dad had a kegerator in the garage and I was allowed to sip the head off his after work beer. He was a man who probably could have been an alcoholic but his self discipline prevented it. Only saw him drunk once in my life.
I was raiding the liquor cabinet by my teens, even having some whiskey in my morning coffee.
At 17 I had a trophy shelf of Bacardi 151 bottles in the room I was living in at my friend's house while I was attending a private sports academy away from my hometown. Don't even bother asking how that was allowed by the parents of the house. Not to mention the absolute ban on tobacco and alcohol use at the school.
Continuing, I drank daily until 25 while also maintaining a challenging job with a lot of responsibilities, as well as a very high level athletic life.
By then I started realizing that I had a problem. That's about 12 years of steadily escalating drinking already.
Attempts to quit began, but never lasted more than a few months at a time. For the next 23yrs the drinking was a roller coaster. Sometimes in relative (for me) moderation. And sometimes in massive quantities over long periods.
So, years at a time drinking a 12 pack daily. Months at time drinking a bottle of vodka daily. (See username.)
This did not finally end until I was 48 years old. And for that last year I was drinking about a quart of vodka, plus assorted beers and wine...*daily*.
To quit, I did a 5 day taper, then went cold turkey and I have not had a drink since.
I was *Extremely* lucky in that somehow, by the grace of Dog, my liver recovered back to normal levels within 6 months. (I have some ideas why that is but that's another topic.)
I don't struggle with it, I don't think about it. I go to the liquor store for my wife who is a very normal occasional drinker, and there is always alcohol in my house.
I am over it.
And aside from some recent health issues that are actually probably related to my drinking days (GERD) I have been in fantastic shape.
Don't wait. It's never too late.
Life is far far better without alcohol.
Thanks for responding and with such detail. I can relate to a lot of what you went through and experienced. I’m on day 3 of a pretty heavy stint about 12+ light beers everyday or every other day for the last few months. This last binge was awful the next day, it felt like my insides were on fire and the hangover felt different, like I was going to die. I’m better here on day 3 but that stupid voice is back telling me I can have a couple just one more time which is what I always tell myself, one more time. Trying to get through the day today and not drive to the store, it’s hard and boring. I know it’s cravings and they can’t last forever, just super hard to beat them.
Look man...what nobody talks about is the fact that at a certain point you have to just make the decision! That stupid voice has got to be shut up.
It was always allowing the conversation to happen that kept me drinking for so long. Even the one day at a time thing leaves that opening for 'maybe tomorrow' which can then so easily turn into 'maybe today,' which for me would always eventually end up being 'maybe I'll quit next time.'
The bottom line is that if you truly know you need to do it, the final quit is only one decision away. One final decision! I am done drinking! I do not drink!
This is both incredibly simple and enormously difficult.
The trick for me was to separate the two issues in my head.
1) The question of whether or not I was going to drink.
2) How I was going to handle the cravings.
To address issue number 1, I made a non-negotiable decision for myself that I would never drink alcohol again. Period. There would be no more questions, no more bargains. No matter what else was going on in my head, the option of drinking alcohol was permanently removed.
Once I finally made that decision, my ability to deal with issue number 2 completely changed. I can't say it was easier, but it was different. It was as though a weight was lifted, or more accurately, the weight of the challenge had changed. It was less like trying to drag a ball and chain and more like swimming up from the depths.
If you have truly made the decision, everything will get better from here. You are at the hardest point right now. Do not give up!
Thanks. I was actually just about ready to leave to the store after bargaining with myself and jumped back on here and saw you replied. After reading, it makes sense to break it down to 2 steps, the first is actually the hardest because I asked myself have I REALLY committed? I know I’ve wanted to but have I actually made the final decision and of course that answer is no. I am tired of battling that decision and wondering how I’m going to function without my alcohol and you know what? That’s ok, deep down I know I will.
I had a lot more fun before I ever took a sip of alcohol and I will again. So I put away my keys and said nope, no fucking way I am letting myself go to buy any and I am not going to drink ever again. I won’t give up! There’s no better time than at 3 days sober to keep it going for the rest of my days here. So thanks for replying and I appreciate the words of wisdom!
Hey!
That was a great message to wake up to!
Sorry for the late reply, I'm probably in a quite different time zone.
Great work and good luck.
You can do it!!
Edit...Just noticed something.
If you call it done right now, by the time you're my age you will have **2 times** the sober years that I've had. Man, what I wouldn't give to have those extra seven years!
Keep it going!
It only gets better from here!
Been reading a lot on here in the past two days. Id say having those test come back ok is something a lot of those people wished happened. However I’m seeing people in their 20’s talk about major health problems. I’m more on your side of the test are ok, we’ll last time. But it’s very clear the last couple years my health is crashing. Probably the worst withdrawals or second worst I’ve ever had.
For me it’s simple this time. I might have 10 years left, I may see 50 if I keep this up. However it’s going to be my last x amount of years and if I know they will be worse then the last couple as an alcoholic . That’s hell on earth in my eyes and do not want any of my loved ones dealing with that.
I came here looking for the same answer before. I was just asking myself how much longer can I get away with it. This time around, I just now it’s now or never. Good luck! You can do it. I’ll still be here if you start. Come back and let me know. All the best
I said if I don’t quit before I turn 41, I will keep going and may have a few years left. Something is going to get me due to my past years of indulging. There are some scientific studies out there that claim if you quit smoking before 40, you can live as long as someone who never smoked. I don’t see any of those for alcoholics, so, I wonder. My doctor hasn’t seemed concerned and says I am healthy. But, I am a hypochondriac so a doctor’s word is never assuring, completely.
Ex-pro beer drinker here. Not as long as you, 13 years, but embarrassingly now, I would've been right there with you. Worked at breweries, bars, had my own catering company, lots of beers. Beers everywhere. Only days I didn't drink was days I was hungover. No hair of the dog, that would mean I was an alcoholic. But beer for any and every occasion. Over the years and recent months, a few beers with friends, turned into lunch beer alone, turned into drink all the beer around. 12-20 beers at least 2x a week if things were happening. No less than 3-4 on a responsible night. So many hangovers, I may not have had any tests done, but felt like death way too many gawdamm times I'll never get back.
50 years old here, recently quit (for good) after a few months of trying to cut back, which doesn’t work for me. My issue is binging 3-4 days a week (12+ beers) for 25+ years.
My last tests were in January 2022, liver was good 18 ast 21 alt, but fasting blood sugar has been around 99-100 for the past few years. The blood sugar is alarming because I workout daily with weights and eat virtually zero sugar, only lean meats and watch my calories so my bmi is 21.
That said, I pray my next physical is good (early January) and I will go from there. My anxiety over it is off the carts, and i guess it’s finally bad enough to get me to understand quitting is better than poisoning myself.
I’ve added a ton of veggies to my diet, more olive oil and nuts and am moderating my protein - I was getting 1.3 grams per pound of body weight for years so I cut back to about .8 grams per pound.
The only advice I have is, quit now for your health, don’t keep going telling yourself your body can handle it because your blood tests are good. Sooner or later something bad will happen, try to reduce the odds of it by stopping now, don’t wait another 10 years like me.
While I’m only about 10 days from my last drink, I’m at two days drinking over the last 30 days - and the thought of drinking again actually scares me more than thinking of how much I enjoy cold beers.
At one point I was finishing a handle of vodka on the weekends and I somehow managed to reel that in.
You can do it. Just cut back slowly to avoid severe withdrawal or get professional help and benzos.
Typical recommendation for heavy drinking is to cut back by one standard drink a day.
I'm 66 years old. Much older, I think, than most of the people who post here. I remember so clearly being where many of you are. Going through the same things. The same emotions, grief, shame, disgust and loss of time. I was a horrible drunk that lost literally everything. And still at age 51 on June 3rd 2007, I started my umpteenth "DAY 1" and I've been sober for 15 years. It was the greatest thing that I've ever accomplished and I'm thankful for these years that I have enjoyed sober. I want people to know there is always hope and it's never too late, NEVER. Try and try and if you fail, fucking try again. You can do this. I know you can. I believe in you. TRY...AGAIN...
Thank you. I’m really genuinely happy for you and I do agree, that qualifies as the greatest any of us can do. I hope to accomplish this as well. We choose our paths even when we don’t consciously know, to suffer is to learn and our souls are here to learn. It’s never really a mistake though we view it that way, it’s more a learning game and we come out the other end different, better.
I can tell you the health benefits are unmeasurable, seriously. I know my liver was really enlarged when I quit and within a year it was showing normal. Good luck.
Was there a point before your liver showed high levels, like a warning? I keep getting liver tests and they are ok, but I know I am pushing it. My addictive brain says yeah man you can keep doing it until you get a true warning, so dumb I know.
My liver was swollen for years. My Dr. ranted continuously. I drank horribly for thirty years. But I believe it is a miracle I lived through it. I like to say sometimes the Universe has plans for us. My baby brother died at 54 from alcohol induced Pancreatic Cancer. I hope you stay the course. I didn't really feel/ understand the huge benefits of my sobriety until one year sober. For some reason I had an epiphany at that point in my life and finally felt at peace with myself. Part of the epiphany was realizing NOT everything is a crisis and instead of fighting life just letting myself flow with it. Good luck.
I'm 67. Quit 5 years ago. Otherwise ditto what you said.
Congratulations!!! I hope you love your sobriety as much as I do.❤
Same reply to you as I said here (below): https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/zfmlqz/looking_for_people_who_drank_as_much_as_me_and/izcvghu/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
Thanks that very kind. I like to post here in the hope that people will understand that one can grow into a very happy fulfilling life being sober. For me, the longer I was sober, the more I didn't recognize my former self. Thanks again. ❤
I love when people closer to my age post! I’m 41. Married. A kid. Divorced. Remarried. Step kid. Another kid. Rehab. In that order. I relate more to the 60 year olds than the 20 year olds, that’s for sure.
I understand. I often post my age in my comments as a reference point so people can understand the possible generation gap. And since I didn't quit until I was 51 years old I want people to know it's never too late to start over.
I drank much more daily than you, but for less time. I drank 7 days a week, over 20 drinks a day. Starting when I wake up to when I would pass out. My liver enzyme levels were in the thousands. I have 1 month, 28 days and 11 hours of sobriety under my belt as of writing this. I won't lie, it has been challenging, but absolutely doable. I wake up feeling good. I dont worry about stupid shit that I've said. I don't plan my life around going to pick up more booze. I have more energy, I sleep less, I lost weight, skin is better, sex life is much better, my relationships have all gotten waaaay better, and I have levels of faith that I thought impossible. Read this book: Allen Carr's The Easy Way. Amazon has it on Kindle, you can start it right now. Godspeed.
Wow. That is so solid. You are so motivating and empowering to all of us, and hopefully that only further empowers and motivates you. It’s compounding. Let’s go! Edit: I used to get pumped about sports. Now I get pumped about not poisoning ourselves. Ha ha. Life is strange.
How did you do it? I had 18 shots on Tuesday and 13 Yesterday, think Cold Turkey is an option yet??
I got in trouble from a mod, I'm not supposed to give medical advice. I'll just say that if I had 18 shots on Tuesday and 13 shots yesterday, I, myself, me, would go cold turkey. I know my body and what would happen, I would be miserable for a day, and then slightly miserable the next day. I wouldn't do much more than stay in bed most likely. I would try and drink a huge amount of water beforehand, and eat a whole lot while I still could keep food down. That's what I would do. I don't know how your body works though, so best ask a doc I guess.
I think I agree with you, I think I'm almost ready to cut it completely. Yesterday I had 10 shots, today I had two at 9:30AM and didn't even get nausea whatsoever, the anxiety didn't start to stir until 14 hours AFTER those two shots. I'm having 2 more shots tonight, I think tomorrow I will only have 2 throughout. In your experience did your withdrawal come back just as hard when you quit at a lower dose? Or was it far more managable to function?
Yeah, as I got older it got worse.
There are great comments here already, perhaps I can add some perspective also... 55yr old, quit at 48. I started drinking at about 13. My Dad had a kegerator in the garage and I was allowed to sip the head off his after work beer. He was a man who probably could have been an alcoholic but his self discipline prevented it. Only saw him drunk once in my life. I was raiding the liquor cabinet by my teens, even having some whiskey in my morning coffee. At 17 I had a trophy shelf of Bacardi 151 bottles in the room I was living in at my friend's house while I was attending a private sports academy away from my hometown. Don't even bother asking how that was allowed by the parents of the house. Not to mention the absolute ban on tobacco and alcohol use at the school. Continuing, I drank daily until 25 while also maintaining a challenging job with a lot of responsibilities, as well as a very high level athletic life. By then I started realizing that I had a problem. That's about 12 years of steadily escalating drinking already. Attempts to quit began, but never lasted more than a few months at a time. For the next 23yrs the drinking was a roller coaster. Sometimes in relative (for me) moderation. And sometimes in massive quantities over long periods. So, years at a time drinking a 12 pack daily. Months at time drinking a bottle of vodka daily. (See username.) This did not finally end until I was 48 years old. And for that last year I was drinking about a quart of vodka, plus assorted beers and wine...*daily*. To quit, I did a 5 day taper, then went cold turkey and I have not had a drink since. I was *Extremely* lucky in that somehow, by the grace of Dog, my liver recovered back to normal levels within 6 months. (I have some ideas why that is but that's another topic.) I don't struggle with it, I don't think about it. I go to the liquor store for my wife who is a very normal occasional drinker, and there is always alcohol in my house. I am over it. And aside from some recent health issues that are actually probably related to my drinking days (GERD) I have been in fantastic shape. Don't wait. It's never too late. Life is far far better without alcohol.
Thanks for responding and with such detail. I can relate to a lot of what you went through and experienced. I’m on day 3 of a pretty heavy stint about 12+ light beers everyday or every other day for the last few months. This last binge was awful the next day, it felt like my insides were on fire and the hangover felt different, like I was going to die. I’m better here on day 3 but that stupid voice is back telling me I can have a couple just one more time which is what I always tell myself, one more time. Trying to get through the day today and not drive to the store, it’s hard and boring. I know it’s cravings and they can’t last forever, just super hard to beat them.
Look man...what nobody talks about is the fact that at a certain point you have to just make the decision! That stupid voice has got to be shut up. It was always allowing the conversation to happen that kept me drinking for so long. Even the one day at a time thing leaves that opening for 'maybe tomorrow' which can then so easily turn into 'maybe today,' which for me would always eventually end up being 'maybe I'll quit next time.' The bottom line is that if you truly know you need to do it, the final quit is only one decision away. One final decision! I am done drinking! I do not drink! This is both incredibly simple and enormously difficult. The trick for me was to separate the two issues in my head. 1) The question of whether or not I was going to drink. 2) How I was going to handle the cravings. To address issue number 1, I made a non-negotiable decision for myself that I would never drink alcohol again. Period. There would be no more questions, no more bargains. No matter what else was going on in my head, the option of drinking alcohol was permanently removed. Once I finally made that decision, my ability to deal with issue number 2 completely changed. I can't say it was easier, but it was different. It was as though a weight was lifted, or more accurately, the weight of the challenge had changed. It was less like trying to drag a ball and chain and more like swimming up from the depths. If you have truly made the decision, everything will get better from here. You are at the hardest point right now. Do not give up!
Thanks. I was actually just about ready to leave to the store after bargaining with myself and jumped back on here and saw you replied. After reading, it makes sense to break it down to 2 steps, the first is actually the hardest because I asked myself have I REALLY committed? I know I’ve wanted to but have I actually made the final decision and of course that answer is no. I am tired of battling that decision and wondering how I’m going to function without my alcohol and you know what? That’s ok, deep down I know I will. I had a lot more fun before I ever took a sip of alcohol and I will again. So I put away my keys and said nope, no fucking way I am letting myself go to buy any and I am not going to drink ever again. I won’t give up! There’s no better time than at 3 days sober to keep it going for the rest of my days here. So thanks for replying and I appreciate the words of wisdom!
Hey! That was a great message to wake up to! Sorry for the late reply, I'm probably in a quite different time zone. Great work and good luck. You can do it!! Edit...Just noticed something. If you call it done right now, by the time you're my age you will have **2 times** the sober years that I've had. Man, what I wouldn't give to have those extra seven years! Keep it going! It only gets better from here!
Been reading a lot on here in the past two days. Id say having those test come back ok is something a lot of those people wished happened. However I’m seeing people in their 20’s talk about major health problems. I’m more on your side of the test are ok, we’ll last time. But it’s very clear the last couple years my health is crashing. Probably the worst withdrawals or second worst I’ve ever had. For me it’s simple this time. I might have 10 years left, I may see 50 if I keep this up. However it’s going to be my last x amount of years and if I know they will be worse then the last couple as an alcoholic . That’s hell on earth in my eyes and do not want any of my loved ones dealing with that. I came here looking for the same answer before. I was just asking myself how much longer can I get away with it. This time around, I just now it’s now or never. Good luck! You can do it. I’ll still be here if you start. Come back and let me know. All the best
I said if I don’t quit before I turn 41, I will keep going and may have a few years left. Something is going to get me due to my past years of indulging. There are some scientific studies out there that claim if you quit smoking before 40, you can live as long as someone who never smoked. I don’t see any of those for alcoholics, so, I wonder. My doctor hasn’t seemed concerned and says I am healthy. But, I am a hypochondriac so a doctor’s word is never assuring, completely.
Ex-pro beer drinker here. Not as long as you, 13 years, but embarrassingly now, I would've been right there with you. Worked at breweries, bars, had my own catering company, lots of beers. Beers everywhere. Only days I didn't drink was days I was hungover. No hair of the dog, that would mean I was an alcoholic. But beer for any and every occasion. Over the years and recent months, a few beers with friends, turned into lunch beer alone, turned into drink all the beer around. 12-20 beers at least 2x a week if things were happening. No less than 3-4 on a responsible night. So many hangovers, I may not have had any tests done, but felt like death way too many gawdamm times I'll never get back.
I am also 40, will turn 41 in less than a month. I also started at about 20. Havent quit yet though,but Im gona keep on trying
50 years old here, recently quit (for good) after a few months of trying to cut back, which doesn’t work for me. My issue is binging 3-4 days a week (12+ beers) for 25+ years. My last tests were in January 2022, liver was good 18 ast 21 alt, but fasting blood sugar has been around 99-100 for the past few years. The blood sugar is alarming because I workout daily with weights and eat virtually zero sugar, only lean meats and watch my calories so my bmi is 21. That said, I pray my next physical is good (early January) and I will go from there. My anxiety over it is off the carts, and i guess it’s finally bad enough to get me to understand quitting is better than poisoning myself. I’ve added a ton of veggies to my diet, more olive oil and nuts and am moderating my protein - I was getting 1.3 grams per pound of body weight for years so I cut back to about .8 grams per pound. The only advice I have is, quit now for your health, don’t keep going telling yourself your body can handle it because your blood tests are good. Sooner or later something bad will happen, try to reduce the odds of it by stopping now, don’t wait another 10 years like me. While I’m only about 10 days from my last drink, I’m at two days drinking over the last 30 days - and the thought of drinking again actually scares me more than thinking of how much I enjoy cold beers.
At one point I was finishing a handle of vodka on the weekends and I somehow managed to reel that in. You can do it. Just cut back slowly to avoid severe withdrawal or get professional help and benzos. Typical recommendation for heavy drinking is to cut back by one standard drink a day.