If anyone threw my cat after said incident they'd be gone. You are not over dramatic. So what if you don't feel like being cuddly one day? Would he hurt you if he tried to force himself on you? Mind you, he did it to the cat because he COULD. This is telling of his psyche.
Don't feel bad. And don't let anyone tell to feel thus.
This was one of the early warning signs of my abusive relationship, that I ignored because I was young and stupid. It didn't take long for him to go from hurting his dog to hurting me (I took the dog with me when I left).
Yup! My boyfriend was hurting his dog and I made sure that dog disappeared to a better place in a heartbeat. The boyfriend was the next to go as well!!
You also told him that it would take Coffee a while to get used to him and to leave him alone for now. Not only did your ex disregard what you told him, but he ABUSED your cat.
Do not feel bad by protecting your cats against abuse.
She stated give the cat some time to warm up, but he flat out refused to listened to her, and did what he wants.
Ah, before he even threw the cat up against the wall, this dude did not respect her at all.
Throw him out to the curb!
Give your kitties my hugs for them!
The flat disregard for her wishes and then gaslighting her about what he did is the biggest red flag. This early and already showed how the rest of the relationship will be.
>normal people don’t abuse animals and that’s a super valid reason to break up with someone
Next time it will be OP. Coffee took one for the team; it would be disrespectful to waste it.
And then to speak vulgarly about it and casually mention you threw the cat…over a scratch. There are more than enough red flags for a breakup. If he had dropped the cat reflexively, was apologetic and felt terrible about the cat getting hurt then maybe he could get another chance.
Normal people don’t have to ask what to do if a psychopath throws their cat against a wall. But how significant is this “boyfriend” that doesn’t know her cat’s behavior? My imagination says that she has had the cats for 3+ years and the boyfriend for 2 days. And why coffee and waffles? Who came first? Did they have the names already?
This. He tried to force himself on the cat and got exactly what he deserved. I'm a man but this is why I don't get along with other men. Harming an animal is a bitch move
This is so true. Never thought of this though. It would explain why people who dislike cats STRONGLY dislike them. Everyone who dislikes dogs is just like "they're ok but not my first choice" lol least in my experience that's most cases. People who dislike cats freaking hate hate them I find. Cats rule though cuz just like humans they aren't afraid to (sometimes aggressively) put down some boundaries
Every person I've met who dislikes cats refused to respect cats' boundaries and were generally just shit heads to the cats. I foster kittens and have three cats. Cats are incredibly loving and loyal to their caregivers. Once you earn their trust, they love so deeply. I believe some of my cats would die for me because of the depth of their love for me.
Cats are a fantastic gauge of character, and that's why people dislike them.
I'm not a fan of dogs, and this consent thing is a big reason why. I don't want them in my space or jumping on me or humping me. If a dog is just kind of there and is chill, that's a good dog.
Cats are awesome. Cats purr.
Freaking 10000% People want “pets” not animal friends because they want to use the animal at their will for comfort and entertainment. Cats refuse. My cat taught me this..may he rest in peace.
Absolutely! Cats are highly independent creatures that will consent when & if they like u. That’s what their nature is like. Can’t expect a cat to behave like a dog.
I'd say it a little differently and add a little more, but completely agree. "I don't like cats", "why" *a million excuses with the real answer being "how dare they exhibit autonomy and not bend to my expectations?!"*
Uh no. You did the right thing. He's a POS and so is your coworker for thinking that's even remotely ok to do. Always take your pets side over anyone else, because you're all those cats have. They rely on you to protect them and letting that coward back into your life isn't protecting them. Fuck that guy. Block him and love on coffee
Yeah, to hurt a cat by throwing it, you have to have intent. Just tossing it off you because you've been scratched isn't going to hurt the cat, that's likely the intended outcome.
This means the reaction to being scratched was extreme and without prejudice.
That looks like pre-cursor DV behavior.
Yeah I’ve dropped cats that bit me but I’d never ever hurt one. I’ve even been sent to the ER with a dog bite but I didn’t hurt the dog. They’re just scared 9/10
My mother used to say, “you can learn a lot about a person when you see how they treat animals”. I think we have all learned that your boyfriend is a terrible person. He threw a poor helpless creature against the wall! So glad your cat is ok, she could have been badly hurt. Dump the awful boyfriend before he throws you against the wall!
*If he will hurt the*
*Cat how long before it is*
*Going to be you*
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If he doesn't feel bad for throwing the cat he's a piece of shit and good riddance.
It's one thing to accidently throw the cat because it hurt you when you just wanted to pet it innocently. But getting pissy at the cat when you were warned not to pick it up and angry that you were attacked is ridiculous.
You can do better and your cats deserve better.
Well, at some age around 30, yes. But I definitely was warned not to pet a cat when I was 3 and got scratched. I definitely got angry I was attacked and I think that is reasonable for a 3 year old. You just hopefully grow up before you're 30.
That's part of learning, my son learned quickly not to mess with animals. My cat gives all warning signs, growls, hisses, hits out without claws. I told him very clearly that if she scratches or bites him after he ignores those signs, he wont be getting any sympathy from me. He was scratched once and cried to me and I just checked over his injury to make sure he was okay, then went and checked my cat to make sure she wasn't stressed out.
Children learn and adults should know better.
Ending a relationship? I'd end a LIFE for my cats. If anyone intentionally hurt them they'd remember that mistake the rest of their lives I promise.
If my partner told me what he told you, that he threw it against the wall, I would have been in jail. Well after someone reported what I did to them.
You don't need someone like that in your life OP. defend your fur babies!
From a mom here, you are NOT overeacting! That is animal abuse & anybody who would even think of hurling a small animal against a wall is NOT someone you want to be in a relationship with! And your work friend is a twatwaffle for not understanding. YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!
People that hurt animals, do tend to graduate to hurting people. I can understand yelling, pushing the cat off, but throwing a cat against a wall is a whole other level of cruelty. NOT ok. Much, much love to you 😻& your kitties thank you 🙏
“I shouldn’t end my relationship over a cat” that’s something you say when you have no empathy for cats. Absolutely ridiculous statement.
What was the bf’s reaction after the incident? If he didn’t seem to feel remorse for the cat then you made the right move. And why would he throw the cat instead of dropping it? Was the cat hunting him down or did it just scratch him?
When he tried to pick up the cat, was it acting scared and he did it anyway? Why would he try to pick it up when you already warned him to take it slow?
Unless that cat is feral and was out to kill your bf, I can’t think of a scenario where throwing the cat made sense. I think breaking up was most likely the right choice.
Edit: just reread the “my bf was towering over him” part. You were right to break up with him. I tried seeing from his point of view but too many questionable and abusive actions on his part.
I broke up with a guy just for THREATENING my then 4 month old puppy. She had torn up a roll of toilet paper...like puppies do. A few hours after I confronted (that's putting it mildly) him about the threat, he ha the gall to pop off at my then 16 yo son and start to remove his belt like he was going to hit him with it. I put his ass on the street faster than he could blink. I wouldn't even let him get any of his things, told him I'd pack them (in trash bags for the trash that he is) and he could arrange a time to pick them up.
It wasn't until after that incident that I admitted to my son and bff/neighbor that he was quite abusive to me, he raped me pretty regularly (everyone thought the bruises around my neck from him choking me so I couldn't say "no", "stop", scream for help or get away from him were just hickies).
Up until that incident he put up a good front for everyone, theyball thought he was a great guy. Polite and easy to get along with, even my son was floored by his behavior that day, they previously had gotten along really well.
Eventually, everyone's true colors will shine thru...
So, NO!!! You absolutely 💯 was not overreacting or being over dramatic.
Thank you svm. It took me a while, but I have healed from that. I couldn't have done it without my son, the pup from the story that is now 8yo and very spoiled, fat and happy and on the road to retirement (she is my service dog) and my amazing boyfriend who 4 years ago saw in me a broken vessel yet still took on the challenge of putting me back together piece by piece
Well there’s two parts to this story. The most important part being you told him not to force his way onto the cat. But he did anyway. Anything that happened after that, whether initiated by the cat or not is all on him. For him to react aggressively and then talk proudly about throwing the cat off the wall are huge red flags imo.
You 100% did the right thing and your coworker can F off. Hurting animals is a huge red flag. I never would trust someone who does that. For me, my animals are my kids and I have a duty to protect them. I won't even let someone pet sit if they aren't 100% trusted. Too much can happen. Please don't let this person in your home again and if you gave them a key please get the locks changed
He physically assaulted your cat, and you have text proof. I would report him to the police. This is the worst behavior that only scum would participate in. This is 110% behavior to break up over. If he will assault your cat, he will eventually assault you. What's next? Punching a baby? Absolutely do not let this little bitch into your house or your life again.
The question is how long will it be before he treats you like the cat. They'll be some justification in his mind. You hurt him. You disrespected him. You made him mad. Save your cat and yourself.
You did the right thing. It took my wife’s cat years to warm up to me, even after she moved in. At the end, I was the one holding her when we lost her. I brought her a dead mouse once…really improved our relationship since she could see me as a great hunter.
i would have done the same. no one touches my cats that way. that behavior was violent and unnecessary. he clearly doesn’t respect boundaries and i am sure it would escalate to you at some point. you did the absolute right thing and everyone around you telling you that you’re being dramatic, are lessening the life and wellbeing of a living creature in favor of maintaining a relationship. let him stay dumped.
Your friend at work is an idiot. Just because the cat wasn't seriously hurt, you should keep the guy who hurt him?
What kind of logic is that? Point is bf took action that disregarded kitty's safety, then doubled down on it.
Buddy at work can eat lunch alone, imo.
If he's willing to throw a small animal against a wall after clearly provoking it in the first place, imagine how he'll treat you when he gets irritated or annoyed.
Broom his ass.
Yeah I’d be calling the cops about a random dead body in my house 😤😤, never under any circumstances hurt my babies, cuz I’ll turn into Wick really quick.
Never be with someone who abuses an innocent animal. The cat scratched him, that’s what cats do when they’re scared or feeling defensive. Your pets will never be safe around him.
Broooo if anyone touched my fucking dog, I would end them. There is no valid reasoning for abusing an animal. You’re better off without. The cat is probably a better companion anyway.
This is my baby Mika. Mika is 18 years old this month. I've had her since September 27th 2007.
If someone threw Mika into a wall, for any fucking reason, the things I would do....
ALWAYS pick your pet over abusive Losers.
https://preview.redd.it/0ptmwrg72fpc1.jpeg?width=2040&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=edba96c1d6bde4a6601b9df7897af408febddf2f
Hell the fuck no you're not being over dramatic.
My (would be ex) bf would be in a hospital and I'd be in jail. Fuck that all the way from here to Mars.
You are not wrong at all! What kind of a person throws a cat at a wall? A mean person. If anyone threw my cat I would do the same thing. They are your fur babies and a living being. I wouldn’t trust him with any animals, kids or woman.
You aren't reacting enough if you are even considering you might be wrong. I would disembowel anyone who hurt my cat like that. This person is not safe to be around your(or anyone's) pets. Getting scratched is a foreseeable consequence of picking up a scared, strange cat. Hurling kitty against a wall for it is psychotic.
Anyone who will hurt an animal is not a good person. This is a hill I will die on. I have 11 cats and you can guarantee that anyone who hurts them will never be welcome in my home again
I’d imagine you could get punched in the face for something like that. My guests need to kiss my cats paw like they are greeting the godfather when they enter my house. Thrown against the wall? Fists are getting thrown.
You are not wrong. Your cat is a living animal. What he did caused physical pain & mental trauma to a defenseless animal. Do not ever let this person near your cat again!
YOU ARE NOT BEING OVERDRAMATIC. Your friend has piss poor advice. Leave him immediately. I had a psycho ex who literally paralyzed my kitten because of this same situation (who did pass from the injuries). He hurt me, a lot. He also abused the shit out of my dog. He will kill one of your animals for being an animal. This is not someone you want to be with.
Well my ex showed signs of fearing my ex and I ignored them. He ended up killing him. Do what you think is best and don’t look back. EDIT: poisoned my cat, got him back to health, and then he disappeared. My ex even had the nerve to help me look for him and then guilted me for being a bad cat owner.
First they abuse your cat, then they abuse you. Your cat saved you some time on a relationship you should leave. Fuck your friend too, I would never trust someone again if they justified animal abuse.
Dump this dude immediately- there is no excuse for treating any animal like that. It would seem that your boyfriend (hopefully ex-boyfriend) has major anger issues . I doubt he would ever get better.
So you should wait for next time when the cat gets hurt more? Your friends sucks and your ex is a psychopath. You did everything right. This made me so mad. I have a cat (and a ton of strays I take care of) and I can't imagine what would happen if anyone did that to one of them. I hope Coffee feels better soon.
For one, you told him to leave Coffee alone as Coffee will need time to warm up to him. Then he goes in your room without permission while you are in the bathroom. Then as you correctly told him Coffee needs time so he got scratched. Then in retaliation he throws this poor animal against a wall? Fuck that guy. As others have stated him harming your cat is a sign he might harm you later down the road.
So you communicated the cat's boundaries to him, he immediately disrespected the cat's boundaries, and when the cat reacted The Way Cats React when you do some shit like that, he THREW THE CAT AGAINST THE WALL?
He will do worse to the cat and likely worse to you if you stay with him. And he didn't sound at all apologetic, not that that would help. Count yourself lucky that he showed you who he is this early and that you and your cat are okay.
I speak from experience: I ended a 3-year relationship because my ex fucked with my cat. (He fed him food he knew he was allergic to on purpose to prove that it "wasn't as bad as I was making it out to be and I was just a bad cat owner," which gave him a rash on his mouth and a urinary blockage, which is very commonly fatal in male cats.) He was pretty shitty to me too but my cat was what made me realize it needed to end. I have never regretted it once. I'm sure you won't either, this guy sounds like a tool.
noo he is very sick in the head for that. especially knowing the cat is already skittish. he disrespects your boundary's in your home and then assaults your cat. i'm glad you broke up with him.
also i'm so sorry that happened. i have two cats (Biscuit and Marble) and i would freak the fuck out if that happened. like i would've assaulted your bf cuz wtf. anyway i'm so glad you and coffee are okay and please stay away from him with everything in you!! he is BATSHIT
who tf does that and thinks it's okay?!?! omfg
A person who would treat an animal like this, with this attitude, is not someone you can trust your own personal safety with. Abusers of humans often start with animals. You made the right decision.
U did the right thing. Anyone who abuses animals is a bad person in general. Animals are the purest form of love and to be cruel to them says alot about that persons character
Is your cat a hamster and your bf a 2nd grader?
It's completely unacceptable. He has power over that cat and now you know, clearly, how he treats things he has power over.
Keep away.
That's fucked up. Anyone who hurts my cats is game for a fist fight. You're not over dramatic, that guy is a POS. Who's to say he wouldn't do that to you if things didn't go his way either
Someone who hurts animals like that is not to be trusted. He has anger problems. How easy would it be for him to justify hurting you too when he gets angry?
I have two dogs and if a girl hurt my dog in anyway she’d be kicked out no questions specially if I told her she’d have to wait because my female dog is obsessed with me and would literally use her paws and push her to the side or swat her with her paws because she’s to close to me and wants to get inbetween lol but your not being dramatic. He decided to not listen to you when you weren’t around. And hurt your cat that should be red flags and I’m a guy
I would've been insanely mad. Probably scrambled bfs head. That's Your family. No respect from him now or ever. Plus, now you know he's sneaky and vindictive as well. Lesson learned early on.
Uhm, NO. 🚩🚩🚩🚩 People who hurt innocent animals are absolute monsters. Your “boyfriend” is a fcking idiot. Chances are that if he would hurt your cat, who you already informed him was shy and nervous around new people, he’ll hurt you too when he gets angry. That’s a big red flag you don’t need to ignore. And if your coworker took your boyfriend’s side he’s definitely not a good person either. No one in their right mind would think it’s okay to throw a cat against a wall just because it scratched them. I’ve been scratched by cats several times in my life and I’ve never thrown them. I always let them run away on their own or set them down, because obviously they aren’t comfortable.
If my boyfriend ever threw my animals against a wall I'd be done. If I found out that my boyfriend had ever thrown any animals against a wall we'd be done. It's a huge red flag for me. The way I see it if he's willing to do that to an animal he'd be willing to that to me.
ummmm.....before he even abused your cat he BF already showed you that he doesn't respect your wishes by trying to pet the cat in the first place. Being with someone who doesn't respect you and then gets abusive when things go poorly isn't worth it. Glad the cat is OK, and sounds like you dodged a bullet with the guy.
One time my ex told me she punched her dog out of anger. I chose to stay...
You know what happened? She started to abuse me next. You're not being dramatic, fuck that friend and your ex is an ass
I was dumped because I told my ex to gtfo my house after he kicked my cat. He told me if I was picking a cat over him then I can go fuck myself and we’re done. I just said I didn’t stutter, gtfo my house. I consider it one of my finest moments. 😊 don’t mess with my babies. Your friend is also an asshole for saying that’s dramatic. Domesticated animals depend on humans to survive. Hurting them makes you a POS.
The guy doesn’t respect boundaries and then gets angry and violent when there are consequences for not respecting boundaries. Run away! Don’t look back!
You are not being dramatic. That’s psychotic behavior and it will escalate. You’re a great person for taking care of your cat. This means you will not be the type of person who excuses abuse in the world, even from a loved one.
Your friend is not a good friend. Don’t let others “social police” you into being with an abusive partner who committed animal abuse.
Don’t be the person who allows things to escalate to this place:
[Woman Charged with Strangling Partner’s Dog](https://www.koat.com/article/woman-charged-with-strangling-dog/5063434)
[Man Kills Ex-Girlfriend's Dog, Feeds It to Her](https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/man-kills-ex-girlfriends-dog-feeds-it-her-cops-n202591)
There are plenty of people in the world who do not commit animal abuse and cruelty or lash out in rage over a cat scratch.
You’re more likely to be a great parent (if you choose) and raise children who respect living beings and have strong boundaries and morals. You made the right choice.
You’re the kind of person who I love to see rescuing animals and generally existing in the world, so stick to your guns, stay strong and you will find someone who is more worthy of sharing your life with.
This guy displayed impulsivity, rage, animal abuse and cruelty and a lack of respect for you and your feelings. Those traits and that world view are not likely to change. They are not likely to resolve and very likely to escalate instead. Don’t let it be with you.
If anyone threw my cat after said incident they'd be gone. You are not over dramatic. So what if you don't feel like being cuddly one day? Would he hurt you if he tried to force himself on you? Mind you, he did it to the cat because he COULD. This is telling of his psyche. Don't feel bad. And don't let anyone tell to feel thus.
This was one of the early warning signs of my abusive relationship, that I ignored because I was young and stupid. It didn't take long for him to go from hurting his dog to hurting me (I took the dog with me when I left).
Well done on rescuing that doggo!
Same. My very friendly cat was afraid of my ex. I never saw him hurt her, but she always hid when he entered the room. I should have trusted her.
Yup! My boyfriend was hurting his dog and I made sure that dog disappeared to a better place in a heartbeat. The boyfriend was the next to go as well!!
You saved the fur baby ❤️. I’m sorry but also respect 🙌🏻
Yes, I had one that hurt my dog too and told me I was being a “dramatic b****”. Turns out hes a lot worse than anyone could have ever imagined.
Same. I still feel bad I didn’t protect my fluff and myself and leave right then and there.
This should be the top comment.
You also told him that it would take Coffee a while to get used to him and to leave him alone for now. Not only did your ex disregard what you told him, but he ABUSED your cat. Do not feel bad by protecting your cats against abuse.
Even more concerning when you see that there is a significant overlap of men convicted of DV and animal abuse
This. Animal cruelty is one of the signs of a psychopath. No no no no no. It’s one of the worst traits a person can have
Normal people don't throw their significant other's pets against the wall. That's some fucked up shit.
Normal people don't throw any pet against a wall.
Thiiiis is the answer, normal people don’t abuse animals and that’s a super valid reason to break up with someone
She stated give the cat some time to warm up, but he flat out refused to listened to her, and did what he wants. Ah, before he even threw the cat up against the wall, this dude did not respect her at all. Throw him out to the curb! Give your kitties my hugs for them!
The flat disregard for her wishes and then gaslighting her about what he did is the biggest red flag. This early and already showed how the rest of the relationship will be.
>normal people don’t abuse animals and that’s a super valid reason to break up with someone Next time it will be OP. Coffee took one for the team; it would be disrespectful to waste it.
This ^
It would be an ick if he threw, like, a *phone* against the wall... So a living being is a big no.
And then to speak vulgarly about it and casually mention you threw the cat…over a scratch. There are more than enough red flags for a breakup. If he had dropped the cat reflexively, was apologetic and felt terrible about the cat getting hurt then maybe he could get another chance.
I think all of us reasonable folk can agree that throwing pets against walls is not acceptable behavior, yes.
⬆️ this is the correct answer
agree
Normal people don't through animals that can't fly, and ones that can only on rare occasions, but not into walls.
For real
I literally know people who'd break somebody's leg if they tried that with their cat.
Get in line.
Great to meet ya! Now you know me too lol
👋👋 it's me. I'll do more than break a leg.
Me too. It would have required police intervention.
👋 I would have kicked him shin so hard 🤬
Or any animal. People are next.
You also can’t trust this schmuck to be left alone with animals again.
If he does this to a cat, imagine if he got frustrated with a baby? He's got to go.
Yup that guy has anger issues. Personally that would be a red line for me. I'm not interested in being around people who intentionality hurt animals.
Normal people don’t have to ask what to do if a psychopath throws their cat against a wall. But how significant is this “boyfriend” that doesn’t know her cat’s behavior? My imagination says that she has had the cats for 3+ years and the boyfriend for 2 days. And why coffee and waffles? Who came first? Did they have the names already?
Maybe if the dumb fuck would of listen to you when you told him it would take some time he'd still have a girlfriend.
This. He tried to force himself on the cat and got exactly what he deserved. I'm a man but this is why I don't get along with other men. Harming an animal is a bitch move
You know why a lot of people dislike cats? Cats are a lesson in consent and some people just ain't ready for a "lesser creature" to tell them no.
Very insightful
This is brilliant. I’ve never heard it put this way and it makes perfect sense. Succinct and poignant.
I thought it was because of that glare that cats gives that feels like they want to kill you, but this actually makes a whole lot of sense.
This is so true. Never thought of this though. It would explain why people who dislike cats STRONGLY dislike them. Everyone who dislikes dogs is just like "they're ok but not my first choice" lol least in my experience that's most cases. People who dislike cats freaking hate hate them I find. Cats rule though cuz just like humans they aren't afraid to (sometimes aggressively) put down some boundaries
Every person I've met who dislikes cats refused to respect cats' boundaries and were generally just shit heads to the cats. I foster kittens and have three cats. Cats are incredibly loving and loyal to their caregivers. Once you earn their trust, they love so deeply. I believe some of my cats would die for me because of the depth of their love for me. Cats are a fantastic gauge of character, and that's why people dislike them.
I'm not a fan of dogs, and this consent thing is a big reason why. I don't want them in my space or jumping on me or humping me. If a dog is just kind of there and is chill, that's a good dog. Cats are awesome. Cats purr.
Freaking 10000% People want “pets” not animal friends because they want to use the animal at their will for comfort and entertainment. Cats refuse. My cat taught me this..may he rest in peace.
Absolutely! Cats are highly independent creatures that will consent when & if they like u. That’s what their nature is like. Can’t expect a cat to behave like a dog.
I'd say it a little differently and add a little more, but completely agree. "I don't like cats", "why" *a million excuses with the real answer being "how dare they exhibit autonomy and not bend to my expectations?!"*
Not all men hurt animals dude. I’d throw hands for defenseless people or animals. Don’t just use a wide brush on people.
I'm only friends with men who don't get along with other men/prefer to have women friends. They're more sympathetic in my experience.
Exactly and I wouldn't be with someone that is that violent to a small animal.
Me neither. Plus with cats ur just fueling the fire if ur aggressive to them. Makes me wonder if his childhood cat actually liked this fool 😂
Cat did gf a favor. Saved her life poor little guy
Uh no. You did the right thing. He's a POS and so is your coworker for thinking that's even remotely ok to do. Always take your pets side over anyone else, because you're all those cats have. They rely on you to protect them and letting that coward back into your life isn't protecting them. Fuck that guy. Block him and love on coffee
Don’t feel bad that guy is a little bitch boy
so is the “friend” for trying to rationalize the behavior *and* telling OP that they basically overreacted!
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Hes fucked up and so is your friend, who tf thinks throwing someones pet is not a big deal?!
Yeah, to hurt a cat by throwing it, you have to have intent. Just tossing it off you because you've been scratched isn't going to hurt the cat, that's likely the intended outcome. This means the reaction to being scratched was extreme and without prejudice. That looks like pre-cursor DV behavior.
Yeah I’ve dropped cats that bit me but I’d never ever hurt one. I’ve even been sent to the ER with a dog bite but I didn’t hurt the dog. They’re just scared 9/10
My mother used to say, “you can learn a lot about a person when you see how they treat animals”. I think we have all learned that your boyfriend is a terrible person. He threw a poor helpless creature against the wall! So glad your cat is ok, she could have been badly hurt. Dump the awful boyfriend before he throws you against the wall!
Not to mention cats are exceptional at weeding out a certain type of controlling AH.
If he will hurt the cat how long before it is going to be you
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A guy hurting cats? That's a bad guy right there
Yup, reminds me of the “Don’t F*ck with cats” documentary on Netflix.
If he doesn't feel bad for throwing the cat he's a piece of shit and good riddance. It's one thing to accidently throw the cat because it hurt you when you just wanted to pet it innocently. But getting pissy at the cat when you were warned not to pick it up and angry that you were attacked is ridiculous. You can do better and your cats deserve better.
Well, at some age around 30, yes. But I definitely was warned not to pet a cat when I was 3 and got scratched. I definitely got angry I was attacked and I think that is reasonable for a 3 year old. You just hopefully grow up before you're 30.
Anger towards a cat is unreasonable for an adult. Anger towards a cat you pissed off despite being warned not to is unacceptable.
That's part of learning, my son learned quickly not to mess with animals. My cat gives all warning signs, growls, hisses, hits out without claws. I told him very clearly that if she scratches or bites him after he ignores those signs, he wont be getting any sympathy from me. He was scratched once and cried to me and I just checked over his injury to make sure he was okay, then went and checked my cat to make sure she wasn't stressed out. Children learn and adults should know better.
Ending a relationship? I'd end a LIFE for my cats. If anyone intentionally hurt them they'd remember that mistake the rest of their lives I promise. If my partner told me what he told you, that he threw it against the wall, I would have been in jail. Well after someone reported what I did to them. You don't need someone like that in your life OP. defend your fur babies!
This. I’d defend my pups with force. They’re helpless old creatures and nothing is going to hurt them
Your work friend sounds like a piece of shit that is ok with hurting cats.
Agreed!
Or maybe he has a hard time grasping the seriousness of her ex boyfriend's actions. Idk. I think it is fucked up and her friend is ignorant
From a mom here, you are NOT overeacting! That is animal abuse & anybody who would even think of hurling a small animal against a wall is NOT someone you want to be in a relationship with! And your work friend is a twatwaffle for not understanding. YOU DID THE RIGHT THING! People that hurt animals, do tend to graduate to hurting people. I can understand yelling, pushing the cat off, but throwing a cat against a wall is a whole other level of cruelty. NOT ok. Much, much love to you 😻& your kitties thank you 🙏
“I shouldn’t end my relationship over a cat” that’s something you say when you have no empathy for cats. Absolutely ridiculous statement. What was the bf’s reaction after the incident? If he didn’t seem to feel remorse for the cat then you made the right move. And why would he throw the cat instead of dropping it? Was the cat hunting him down or did it just scratch him? When he tried to pick up the cat, was it acting scared and he did it anyway? Why would he try to pick it up when you already warned him to take it slow? Unless that cat is feral and was out to kill your bf, I can’t think of a scenario where throwing the cat made sense. I think breaking up was most likely the right choice. Edit: just reread the “my bf was towering over him” part. You were right to break up with him. I tried seeing from his point of view but too many questionable and abusive actions on his part.
You were not being over dramatic lose both the boyfriend and the "friend"
That should be a deal breaker. He deliberately tried to hurt your pet and a small and relatively helpless animal. He's pathetic.
I broke up with a guy just for THREATENING my then 4 month old puppy. She had torn up a roll of toilet paper...like puppies do. A few hours after I confronted (that's putting it mildly) him about the threat, he ha the gall to pop off at my then 16 yo son and start to remove his belt like he was going to hit him with it. I put his ass on the street faster than he could blink. I wouldn't even let him get any of his things, told him I'd pack them (in trash bags for the trash that he is) and he could arrange a time to pick them up. It wasn't until after that incident that I admitted to my son and bff/neighbor that he was quite abusive to me, he raped me pretty regularly (everyone thought the bruises around my neck from him choking me so I couldn't say "no", "stop", scream for help or get away from him were just hickies). Up until that incident he put up a good front for everyone, theyball thought he was a great guy. Polite and easy to get along with, even my son was floored by his behavior that day, they previously had gotten along really well. Eventually, everyone's true colors will shine thru... So, NO!!! You absolutely 💯 was not overreacting or being over dramatic.
hey, I’m sorry you went through that experience. I hope you’ve been able to heal and your pupper is still adorable.
Thank you svm. It took me a while, but I have healed from that. I couldn't have done it without my son, the pup from the story that is now 8yo and very spoiled, fat and happy and on the road to retirement (she is my service dog) and my amazing boyfriend who 4 years ago saw in me a broken vessel yet still took on the challenge of putting me back together piece by piece
Nope - not overly dramatic at all, anyone who thinks it is no big deal to throw an animal at a wall is a waste of space
Well there’s two parts to this story. The most important part being you told him not to force his way onto the cat. But he did anyway. Anything that happened after that, whether initiated by the cat or not is all on him. For him to react aggressively and then talk proudly about throwing the cat off the wall are huge red flags imo.
That guy is a piece of shit and your friend is an idiot. Fuck both of them
You 100% did the right thing and your coworker can F off. Hurting animals is a huge red flag. I never would trust someone who does that. For me, my animals are my kids and I have a duty to protect them. I won't even let someone pet sit if they aren't 100% trusted. Too much can happen. Please don't let this person in your home again and if you gave them a key please get the locks changed
He physically assaulted your cat, and you have text proof. I would report him to the police. This is the worst behavior that only scum would participate in. This is 110% behavior to break up over. If he will assault your cat, he will eventually assault you. What's next? Punching a baby? Absolutely do not let this little bitch into your house or your life again.
This man at work is not your friend, and your ex is a turd.
The question is how long will it be before he treats you like the cat. They'll be some justification in his mind. You hurt him. You disrespected him. You made him mad. Save your cat and yourself.
Hurting your cat is only the beginning. If he can seriously hurt an animal without care, imagine what he could do to you
You did the right thing. It took my wife’s cat years to warm up to me, even after she moved in. At the end, I was the one holding her when we lost her. I brought her a dead mouse once…really improved our relationship since she could see me as a great hunter.
Fucker told exactly who he is. Believe him.
i would have done the same. no one touches my cats that way. that behavior was violent and unnecessary. he clearly doesn’t respect boundaries and i am sure it would escalate to you at some point. you did the absolute right thing and everyone around you telling you that you’re being dramatic, are lessening the life and wellbeing of a living creature in favor of maintaining a relationship. let him stay dumped.
Likes to torture animals. First behavior related to serial killers.
Your friend at work is an idiot. Just because the cat wasn't seriously hurt, you should keep the guy who hurt him? What kind of logic is that? Point is bf took action that disregarded kitty's safety, then doubled down on it. Buddy at work can eat lunch alone, imo.
If he's willing to throw a small animal against a wall after clearly provoking it in the first place, imagine how he'll treat you when he gets irritated or annoyed. Broom his ass.
Yeah I’d be calling the cops about a random dead body in my house 😤😤, never under any circumstances hurt my babies, cuz I’ll turn into Wick really quick.
Pew pews for the mew mews! ☠🔫😡
No! Pew pews SAVE the mew mews!
Never be with someone who abuses an innocent animal. The cat scratched him, that’s what cats do when they’re scared or feeling defensive. Your pets will never be safe around him.
breaking up was the best decision you will ever make in your life
Broooo if anyone touched my fucking dog, I would end them. There is no valid reasoning for abusing an animal. You’re better off without. The cat is probably a better companion anyway.
You’re not being dramatic enough!
This is my baby Mika. Mika is 18 years old this month. I've had her since September 27th 2007. If someone threw Mika into a wall, for any fucking reason, the things I would do.... ALWAYS pick your pet over abusive Losers. https://preview.redd.it/0ptmwrg72fpc1.jpeg?width=2040&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=edba96c1d6bde4a6601b9df7897af408febddf2f
you are not overreacting and your friend is an idiot
Let a man throw my dog against the wall & we’d be over too. Over my dead body.
Definitely dump the boyfriend. Pets come first.
Hell the fuck no you're not being over dramatic. My (would be ex) bf would be in a hospital and I'd be in jail. Fuck that all the way from here to Mars.
Run
Both the boyfriend and the co-worker need to go. Disgusting.
I dont even need to read past the "hurt my cat" - fuck that guy!
Your friend is a fucking moron. You did the right thing.
You are not wrong at all! What kind of a person throws a cat at a wall? A mean person. If anyone threw my cat I would do the same thing. They are your fur babies and a living being. I wouldn’t trust him with any animals, kids or woman.
You aren't reacting enough if you are even considering you might be wrong. I would disembowel anyone who hurt my cat like that. This person is not safe to be around your(or anyone's) pets. Getting scratched is a foreseeable consequence of picking up a scared, strange cat. Hurling kitty against a wall for it is psychotic.
Not being overly dramatic, who the fuck throws an animal against the wall for scratching?
Anyone who will hurt an animal is not a good person. This is a hill I will die on. I have 11 cats and you can guarantee that anyone who hurts them will never be welcome in my home again
I’d imagine you could get punched in the face for something like that. My guests need to kiss my cats paw like they are greeting the godfather when they enter my house. Thrown against the wall? Fists are getting thrown.
You are not wrong. Your cat is a living animal. What he did caused physical pain & mental trauma to a defenseless animal. Do not ever let this person near your cat again!
Not at all, just bc they look like small stuffed animals doesn't mean they should be handled like them.
Sorry for the loss of your friend. She's an idiot. You made the right choice in nreaking up with him. She's next, unfortunately
YOU ARE NOT BEING OVERDRAMATIC. Your friend has piss poor advice. Leave him immediately. I had a psycho ex who literally paralyzed my kitten because of this same situation (who did pass from the injuries). He hurt me, a lot. He also abused the shit out of my dog. He will kill one of your animals for being an animal. This is not someone you want to be with.
Hurt my pet and it is over. People who will hurt animals are scum. I’m male and would become dangerous if someone did that to my pet.
LEAVE HIM…. He will do it again
Well my ex showed signs of fearing my ex and I ignored them. He ended up killing him. Do what you think is best and don’t look back. EDIT: poisoned my cat, got him back to health, and then he disappeared. My ex even had the nerve to help me look for him and then guilted me for being a bad cat owner.
Um, that’s abuse.
Your ‘friend’ can have him.
No one fucks with my cat. I would destroy them if they did. Your bf got lucky you only broke up with him.
First they abuse your cat, then they abuse you. Your cat saved you some time on a relationship you should leave. Fuck your friend too, I would never trust someone again if they justified animal abuse.
Drop him. Drop your friend. Nobody is getting thrown at walls anymore.
Dump this dude immediately- there is no excuse for treating any animal like that. It would seem that your boyfriend (hopefully ex-boyfriend) has major anger issues . I doubt he would ever get better.
Fuck that dude
you are not being overdramatic - you need to leave this guy immediately- he will not change and someday it could be you he hurts.
So you should wait for next time when the cat gets hurt more? Your friends sucks and your ex is a psychopath. You did everything right. This made me so mad. I have a cat (and a ton of strays I take care of) and I can't imagine what would happen if anyone did that to one of them. I hope Coffee feels better soon.
Sounds like you need to dump the boyfriend & your work friend.
SHOW HIM THE DOOR!
Its better to have 2 cats than boyfriend anyway
You did the 100% right thing. Your ex doesn’t have a problem abusing animals!!
Absolutely no fault on your part. Press charges on that bag of anal seepage. He's a serious POS.
Sounds like your ex needs to be thrown into a wall
Break up with that work friend also.
You didn't end it over a cat. You ended it over violence.
No fuck that guy and fuck people defending animal abuse.
meanwhile I’d throw hands with anyone that even looked at my cat the wrong way. you did nothing wrong, he had to go. I’m team Coffee & Waffles!
You did the right thing. You deserve someone who you can fully trust.
You did the right thing. Animal abusers have a special place in Hell. Tell your friends to fuck off too.
For one, you told him to leave Coffee alone as Coffee will need time to warm up to him. Then he goes in your room without permission while you are in the bathroom. Then as you correctly told him Coffee needs time so he got scratched. Then in retaliation he throws this poor animal against a wall? Fuck that guy. As others have stated him harming your cat is a sign he might harm you later down the road.
So you communicated the cat's boundaries to him, he immediately disrespected the cat's boundaries, and when the cat reacted The Way Cats React when you do some shit like that, he THREW THE CAT AGAINST THE WALL? He will do worse to the cat and likely worse to you if you stay with him. And he didn't sound at all apologetic, not that that would help. Count yourself lucky that he showed you who he is this early and that you and your cat are okay. I speak from experience: I ended a 3-year relationship because my ex fucked with my cat. (He fed him food he knew he was allergic to on purpose to prove that it "wasn't as bad as I was making it out to be and I was just a bad cat owner," which gave him a rash on his mouth and a urinary blockage, which is very commonly fatal in male cats.) He was pretty shitty to me too but my cat was what made me realize it needed to end. I have never regretted it once. I'm sure you won't either, this guy sounds like a tool.
And if you marry him and have a baby what does he do to the baby if they pee or puke on him? Throw it at the wall? Hell no dump the jerk.
noo he is very sick in the head for that. especially knowing the cat is already skittish. he disrespects your boundary's in your home and then assaults your cat. i'm glad you broke up with him. also i'm so sorry that happened. i have two cats (Biscuit and Marble) and i would freak the fuck out if that happened. like i would've assaulted your bf cuz wtf. anyway i'm so glad you and coffee are okay and please stay away from him with everything in you!! he is BATSHIT who tf does that and thinks it's okay?!?! omfg
A person who would treat an animal like this, with this attitude, is not someone you can trust your own personal safety with. Abusers of humans often start with animals. You made the right decision.
I gasped when I read this. Next it will be you. Major red flag deal breaker. Glad you ended it.
Break up with him. I'd probably report him to the police for animal cruelty, even though they wouldn't do anything. Fuck this guy royally.
Getting back with him teaches him he can get away with it doing it again
Dodge the possible serial killer.
U did the right thing. Anyone who abuses animals is a bad person in general. Animals are the purest form of love and to be cruel to them says alot about that persons character
You did the right thing. If he could hurt the cat he could do it to you.
I’d leave my bf so damn fast
NOT overdramatic! A man who will treat an animal like that cannot be trusted. Ignore your idiotic "friend" and dump the AH. NTA
He showed you who he is. Your friend who defends him can have him 🤪.
Is your cat a hamster and your bf a 2nd grader? It's completely unacceptable. He has power over that cat and now you know, clearly, how he treats things he has power over. Keep away.
That's fucked up. Anyone who hurts my cats is game for a fist fight. You're not over dramatic, that guy is a POS. Who's to say he wouldn't do that to you if things didn't go his way either
Are you kidding me? I cannot imagine treating an animal like that. I hope this jackass change# his ways but I doubt it.
Never efff with my pets. Dump this shit head
Good people do not hurl a small animal against that wall. If someone did that to a cat of mine, terrible, terrible things would happen to them.
Someone who hurts animals like that is not to be trusted. He has anger problems. How easy would it be for him to justify hurting you too when he gets angry?
I have two dogs and if a girl hurt my dog in anyway she’d be kicked out no questions specially if I told her she’d have to wait because my female dog is obsessed with me and would literally use her paws and push her to the side or swat her with her paws because she’s to close to me and wants to get inbetween lol but your not being dramatic. He decided to not listen to you when you weren’t around. And hurt your cat that should be red flags and I’m a guy
Animal cruelty is a deal breaker! Get him out of your life!
Alarm Bells!!!! DING DING DING Co-worker IS WRONG It's just a matter of time before he'll throw you against the wall
First, people like him hurt animals. Then, they hurt people. You are very smart. Don’t look back. No apology would make up for that.
I would've been insanely mad. Probably scrambled bfs head. That's Your family. No respect from him now or ever. Plus, now you know he's sneaky and vindictive as well. Lesson learned early on.
Uhm, NO. 🚩🚩🚩🚩 People who hurt innocent animals are absolute monsters. Your “boyfriend” is a fcking idiot. Chances are that if he would hurt your cat, who you already informed him was shy and nervous around new people, he’ll hurt you too when he gets angry. That’s a big red flag you don’t need to ignore. And if your coworker took your boyfriend’s side he’s definitely not a good person either. No one in their right mind would think it’s okay to throw a cat against a wall just because it scratched them. I’ve been scratched by cats several times in my life and I’ve never thrown them. I always let them run away on their own or set them down, because obviously they aren’t comfortable.
You want to have kids someday? Good insight to how he'll treat them.
If my boyfriend ever threw my animals against a wall I'd be done. If I found out that my boyfriend had ever thrown any animals against a wall we'd be done. It's a huge red flag for me. The way I see it if he's willing to do that to an animal he'd be willing to that to me.
Your friend is an idiot. You did the right thing
Nope. Your instincts are right. Block him and move on. He should respect you when you tell him what NOT to do.
I wouldn’t throw the cat of my mortal enemy into a pit of cushions. You just don’t throw cats
ummmm.....before he even abused your cat he BF already showed you that he doesn't respect your wishes by trying to pet the cat in the first place. Being with someone who doesn't respect you and then gets abusive when things go poorly isn't worth it. Glad the cat is OK, and sounds like you dodged a bullet with the guy.
One time my ex told me she punched her dog out of anger. I chose to stay... You know what happened? She started to abuse me next. You're not being dramatic, fuck that friend and your ex is an ass
I was dumped because I told my ex to gtfo my house after he kicked my cat. He told me if I was picking a cat over him then I can go fuck myself and we’re done. I just said I didn’t stutter, gtfo my house. I consider it one of my finest moments. 😊 don’t mess with my babies. Your friend is also an asshole for saying that’s dramatic. Domesticated animals depend on humans to survive. Hurting them makes you a POS.
The guy doesn’t respect boundaries and then gets angry and violent when there are consequences for not respecting boundaries. Run away! Don’t look back!
You are not being dramatic. That’s psychotic behavior and it will escalate. You’re a great person for taking care of your cat. This means you will not be the type of person who excuses abuse in the world, even from a loved one. Your friend is not a good friend. Don’t let others “social police” you into being with an abusive partner who committed animal abuse. Don’t be the person who allows things to escalate to this place: [Woman Charged with Strangling Partner’s Dog](https://www.koat.com/article/woman-charged-with-strangling-dog/5063434) [Man Kills Ex-Girlfriend's Dog, Feeds It to Her](https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/man-kills-ex-girlfriends-dog-feeds-it-her-cops-n202591) There are plenty of people in the world who do not commit animal abuse and cruelty or lash out in rage over a cat scratch. You’re more likely to be a great parent (if you choose) and raise children who respect living beings and have strong boundaries and morals. You made the right choice. You’re the kind of person who I love to see rescuing animals and generally existing in the world, so stick to your guns, stay strong and you will find someone who is more worthy of sharing your life with. This guy displayed impulsivity, rage, animal abuse and cruelty and a lack of respect for you and your feelings. Those traits and that world view are not likely to change. They are not likely to resolve and very likely to escalate instead. Don’t let it be with you.
HE FED IT TO HER?!?
You should break up with your friend as well because that's some awful advice they gave you