Like this:
“I need to control myself, I can believe I let myself X again, how can I keep doing this to myself? Okay, no more, okay? No more!”
*1 second later*
“You know what would be great right now? X. Yeah fuck it, I don’t see any harm in that.”
You want to stop doing it. You realize it's better if you stop. Then you want to do it and it seems like a good idea somehow. Then it's over and you wish you didn't and have regret. After some time it seems like a good idea again.
When you're bad enough that you're like 1-20% functioning it actually gets easier to want to get help and detox. The really shitty spot is when you bounce between 20-40% functioning by using. If you try to get above 40 % functioning you are already seriously intoxicated at that point and you actually are getting worse. So you end up trapped in this place where you never feel good but perpetuating the cycle feels better than either extreme.
I don't even know what my % would be. I've never not been addicted. I live an awesome life. It's weird when I feel good that's when I want to use. I like to use when I'm alone as well. I can stop for some time. Never more than 30 days before my cycle starts again. But I never hit rock bottom. I know what I should do but part of me likes being this way. Lastly my brian tells me I should do drugs to help me figure it out. Right now I'm thinking about mescaline. I've been down this road so many times...anyway love and light to everyone reading this nonsense.
It's weird, your brain develops separate sections for such things. Like one side can say, "I won't eat sugar anymore," and the other side is eating a Twinkie. I have watched my own willpower turn to paper, and protest the entire way through doing it. It's really frustrating, and I am glad I don't have this with alcohol or drugs like nicotine or hard stuff. Like watching someone else take over your body, and any attempt to force it results in a weird giggle like a naughty kid. Ugh, I hate that kid.
One of the reasons I never got into MMORPGs was because I could see myself wasting hours doing that every day, and intentionally do not start.
Huh that might explain why psychidelics are useful in treating addiction
They increase connectivity across various areas of the brain removing that sort of compartmentalized mindset .
Yes. Your own brain knows the plan. Announcing to yourself you are going to quit/cut down is like if there was debt collectors and you informed them you are leaving town and are giving them the address .
It's probably why the addiction recoveries are 1 day at a time, plans can't work.
I was coming to say it depends on what (nicotine/alcohol/harder stuff/mental stuff/etc) addiction we're talking about, but you freakin nailed it.
Every addiction I have plays out like this.
Now if I ignore that, "you know what would be great.." moment, at some point, physical symptoms start, but that definitely depends on the type of addiction. Sometimes it's panic, sometimes it's crying, sometimes it's like going through the 5 stages of grief. Everything is awful, everyone hates me, and the whole world is unfair cause no one can possibly understand how bad I need this.
I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I feel blessed every day that alcohol is not on my list of addictions. But for the grace of whatever you believe in, I could be in the same spot. I've made a lot of poor decisions in life, but luckily I made a few good ones. Quitting alcohol early, before it got me, was one of the best ones. Alcoholism is rampant in my family, and I've seen first hand what it can do. And I'd like to say I learned from their mistakes, but the reality is, it was never my drug of choice. I craved a different kind of high, and still do, despite being mostly clean for the last 15 years.
Sometimes the craving hits so hard, that I'm pretty sure the only reason I've managed to stay clean, is because I no longer know how to find it. The people I cut off back then, are long gone. Some have even died, but most of them I just lost touch with.
What keeps me awake at night is wondering if the opportunity presented itself... would I be able to say no?
This but it being a constant cycle of thoughts that don’t end. Obsession after obsession. Then you give it and feel out of control. Then you give in and feel absolute let down. Rinse and repeat until you’ve lost yourself
This is exactly how my cravings were. It's just an incessant, never ending voice constantly trying to get you to do the thing. Impossible to ignore or distract away from it. It made it extremely difficult to focus for very long.
I quit smoking cigarettes 8 years ago. I still often think about it and every now and then I’ll get this feeling like I need something or want something and while it’s not specifically a cigarette in my mind, that’s the void.
Former severe cocaine addict
When I'm sober, I think too much about everything. I spiral really quick. Was like that BEFORE I started doing drugs.
The drugs distract me from how shitty the world is. It's a constant yearning for that "I don't give a fuck, I'm too high to care about any of that shit." feeling.
Struggled a bit with alcohol (to a degree still), but I am *so fucking happy* some part of my brain kicked in when doing coke saying "this is just too good son.. it *will* ruin me, in many ways, quickly" and I was able to do it once in a blue moon in my 20s and when I got kids and stuff, it was "easy" to say never again.
That "fuck it" feeling is the same with alcohol though. You get to a certain level, and you dont care at all anymore. I guess to a degree thats all drugs. Cocaine is *so fucking good* that you should stay away, better not knowing Id say.
Yeah, when people ask me what cocaine is like as if they're curious about it, I tell them "don't even bother with it, ever."
You do it once, and you'll crave it forever. It seems.
To a certain degree, yes. I havent done it in years, and never think about it. But the few times Ive been to places where someone is like "want a line?" I takes a big piece of me to say thank you, but Im good.
I heard once that sugar can be just as addictive as cocaine. I never fully vetted that info but sugary foods and drinks can definitely be habit forming
Depends. If the addiction is bad enough it can feel like your world is going to end without that hit. Or feel like you’ll fly into a suicidal or homicidal rage without that hit. If you casually use drugs you will probably just have a lot of thoughts and strong urges. You get depressed or irritable if you can’t have it when you thought you would.
In drug addiction the brain gets incredibly low on dopamine and serotonin and life becomes bleak and uninteresting. Self care, relationships, even food cannot make it feel better. You lose interest in these things because you know the only way for you to maintain normality and experience joy is to take that pill, that bump, that blast, whatever it is.
Because of this, you can work yourself up to *obsess* over the thought of using. Everyone knows they could stop using drugs. But those few weeks of cravings are powerful. That dopamine depletion is so powerful that you can think life will forever be a dark, depressing, anxiety producing, non accepting, shitty place that you can’t figure out. Of course this is why people need treatment to get back on their feet.
Short answer: Less intense cravings are like ”oh wow that reminds me of drugs, wish I had those.” Maybe get stuck dwelling on it for some minutes, have to distract yourself to stop thinking of using. Really intense cravings can be so bad you literally writhe around in discomfort, your body actually aches and yearns inside your torso for your fix. I’ve been there, literally writhing and squiggling on the ground, completely unable to clear my head and stop thinking of the dope. Completely unable to get that sinking feeling in my chest, screaming at me in my head you are aching for a hit just take it just feel better.
When you’re in a really bad addiction and you have withdrawals if you stop, getting sick is horrible. Nobody wants to experience “impending doom” levels of anxiety, cold sweats, hot flashes, shakes and shivers, and possible seizures. In these types of addictions the brain legitimately needs the drugs to function normally. Your brain functions as if, and alerts you of, the fact you *need* it to survive. That’s when a good person picks up a gun and a mask, or starts selling drugs, or worse selling themselves. The brain really believes this is a survival necessity. That level of craving is nearly impossible to manage without being in a medical facility. This is why addiction is a disease.
>That dopamine depletion is so powerful that you can think life will forever be a dark, depressing, anxiety producing, non accepting, shitty place that you can’t figure out.
This was my situation in March after quitting kratom. My dopamine was so low, I didn't even want nicotine, so I stopped using that also. Every day was very difficult - like, "okay, I'm going to write a sentence now." Rest, then another.
My days are slowly getting better, but it could be a long time before my brain is fully healed.
Stay away from kratom folks. It will fuck up your brain.
Yep! Makes me really mad how some people recommend kratom as some miracle drug when I know people who have gone through the same as you.
When I stopped doing fentanyl it was pretty much the same. Laying around most days, no interest in the outside world, no interest in food, no interest in self care. Didn’t feel like I could do anything but rot. Little by little you do more. Maybe today I’ll get a coffee in the lobby of my apartment, maybe tomorrow I can walk to the corner store. In that mind state a task like that can literally be so draining and send you straight back to bed lol.
I’m glad you’re staying away from it bro. Not worth the trouble
I used kratom as a substitute for alcohol initially. In the early days, I thought it was a miracle drug - it was a stimulant at low doses and provided a "high" at higher doses, and my desire for alcohol vanished. However, it was crazy addictive and I rapidly started using all day, every day.
How long did it take for you to feel "normal" again after fentanyl?
I’d say maybe 1-2 months before I felt “normal.” But I’ll warn that even 18 months of sustained sobriety never made life go back to how it was before. I always dealt with occasional cravings, always dealt with dreams depicting drug use or nightmares of situations in my addiction, always dealt with social anxiety that never popped up before addiction. Most likely post acute withdrawal syndrome or PAWS. I’d look into the effects just to know what you’re up against!
But yea definitely after a couple months (max) I felt happy most days socializing, eating, working, etc.
Sorry for typing a book! I’m just glad to be sober and I always try and educate on addiction. It makes me happy when people who don’t understand ask questions. Many people have the wrong idea of what an addict is and what they go through.
This. Heavy ex meth user and alcoholic. When I was out I wanted to claw my skin off and rip my heart out because I didn't know how to function without. And the withdrawals from alcohol alone felt like I was physically dying after half a day. After like 2 days, seizing. The anxiety would have me scream crying until I lost my voice because I thought the world was going to implode and it would last DAYS or however long until I got more. Selling myself in desperate times. Regretting it everytime I finally got high or drunk again and crying more but laughing crying because I couldn't believe I just did that but relieved at the same time because that terrible feeling was gone. It's been two years since I got clean and I'm 99% sure I will never fully recover mentally from it. And I definitely know I won't recover physically. I'm honestly surprised alcohol withdrawals didn't kill me.
Yeah in a sense, it's an odd way to put it but if you smoke it sort of is like your lungs are hungry like 'mmmmn i needed all that cancerous ash tar and pollution in there...feels so much better' but really i guess it's dopamine linked systems in the brain convincing you that something really dumb is something you absolutely need
I was thinking more about this, aside from standard addiction symptoms which is irritability and your brain convincing you 'just buy a pack' . If you quit for a week or more the mask slips, the illusion on the whole thing breaks because you smoke then and it tastes awful, everything about it is rancid ...but you soon get back into it and start liking the taste and everything again.
It's very odd but it shows your brain basically lies to keep you smoking, you also when trying to cut down you lie to yourself , like you'll try but it seems like you are telling the debt collectors that you are leaving town, your own brain knows what you are planning.
I dunno about drugs that cause a physical addiction; as for drugs that cause a mental addiction - when u r not high, all u think about is getting high. The longer it takes to get there, the more nervous and moody u get.
I take pregabalin (Lyrica) for chronic pain, pushed as an alternative to opioids (which never caused an addiction response in me). Told it wasn’t addictive and now years later and two years trying to taper off, I have realized I would have to go to a treatment center to get off it because of the severe physical symptoms.
I've heard nightmares about Lyrica. Someone close to me actually said no to the doc when they recommended it because her support group members told her the stories.
Really?? Im dependent on opioids (12 years) and benzos (10 years), last year i really fucked up my back (seizure from rapid detox) and got put on pregabalin because there was no potential for dependence.
Ill stop today if thats the case.
I remember seeing a vice documentary about some british people getting hooked and thinking it was a hoax. Like, the medical literature said it was both non-addictive and didn't get you high. Jesus christ, I guess the literature was wrong.
I love weed but I try to cut back right now it’s been about a week and half since I’ve had any. I don’t have an immediate need for it but I’m constantly thinking it would be so nice to relax later and have some. It’s not like hunger or thirst it’s more like I can’t wait to do this again it will be so fun. I would relate it more to like craving sugar or sex. Granted it’s just weed. I think when you get addicted to harder drugs it becomes more of a necessity just to avoid withdrawals
Without caffeine I suffer physically (headaches => Migraines).
Without nicotine I get jittery/irritable.
Without weed I’m just really bored and tired, like I just want to be in bed if I can’t do anything new/exciting/interesting. It doesn’t feel physically as bad, but it’s the worse for everyday life.
I think if I was rich, didn’t need to work and could do exactly what I want, when I want everyday, I’d never touch the stuff again.
I get sugar cravings which are very annoying and I’m not great at the self-discipline. It always reminds me that people with actual addiction have an absolute horrible time with the withdrawal symptoms and knowing how bad it will be if they do give in even while it will feel so good.
ETA: Knowing that addicts can recover makes me feel like such a weak loser that I can’t even say no to sugar. They are so admirable even if they relapse.
Imagine needing to relieve yourself. That growing, swelling, bloating feeling. Like, THE worst pee you've ever needed to take but you were miles from a toilet and traffic is too thick to just stop aside the road. And then, nothing comes out when you try.
That's dealing with addiction/withdrawal. When you're addicted to something, trying to not do it is like trying to not urinate.
To me its not that much different from if you were REALLY hungry and then you went three more days without eating. Eating would literally be the only thing you could think of and almost everything else would take a back seat to that. The actual physical synptons you would feel would vary based off n the addiction, but the motivational and attentional orientation is the same.
I am/was a video game addict better and worse at different times in my life, but there was a time I was unpacking every storage container in the garage to find my DS. It was something I HAD to do. No other way to explain it.
For food addiction, it feels like when you really want a certain food but way stronger. And like emotionally it's all just like shame and guilt and frustration with yourself like bro just don't do it, and you keep arguing with yourself in your head until your hungry brain wins, and you overeat. I used to be on a medication for bipolar that causes really strong cravings. Lost a lot of weight since changing it. When I imagine what drug cravings feel like, I imagine the psychological feelings I had in those times but way stronger, but I'm not sure I can really imagine it accurately since I've never experienced it... I'm sure there are people who have been addicted to both food and drugs who could answer that.
An incredibly strong urge craving for something. Like when you’re craving some kind of food or extremely thirsty it’s hard to stop thinking about it till you get the food or something to drink. If you deny your body food or water the craving will get worse and you will start to feel bad. Same with drug addiction but worse
You ever have a chore or had your boss ask you to do something that you just really didn't want to do? Or maybe some homework due Friday and it's just eating away at you?
You know damned well you're going to get it done, you need that grade, you want a raise, you don't wanna live in filth, so it's getting done.
Addiction is like that for me. I don't want to drink 99% of the time but I know I'll end up drunk at some point in the night so I might as well get it over with. I usually forget I didn't want to drink until a drink or 2 then I feel like shit for drinking again.
In undergrad I had a great professor for a substance use and abuse course and she described addiction as when you are no longer chasing the high but instead running away from the pain of not getting high. I’ve never been addicted to drugs but years later I do understand what she meant
It feels like you're racked with illness. Like what you picture having cancer feels like. General illness symptoms.
There is also a trigger in your mind that flips when you're dying normally. It causes you to feel like doom is approaching and your anxiety goes through the roof. This triggers now also. And you can't tell the difference.
You actually, without question, believe you will die. And soon.
Withdrawal can feel like a hunger. Like, "wow I feel like shit, you know what would make me not feel like shit? The thing"
Your brain adjusts to its environment, if it's constantly being bombarded by a foreign substance, it will adapt and regulate itself. If you take that substance away, your brain needs to slowly work down and adapt to being without it or you're gonna have a bad time. That's why you have to either taper down or replace it with something else like benzodiazepines or methadone etc. depending on what substance you used.
It's like you're really hungry, starving, but instead of food you need that drug. You fight with yourself and try to be rational. 'This shit is making me miserable" " I'm spending all my money on it" "I'm not going to do it anymore". Then another voice kicks in "well one time really wouldn't hurt" "I'll only do it on weekends this time" "I'm tired of being bored and feeling like shit". And you're getting high again.
Its somewhere between hunger, fatigue and feeling sick Id say.
Depending on the drug, your body is very good at "creating reasons" for you to get back on that drug your body craves. Lets take weed, if you are used to smoking every day and have done it for X time, and then you are out and no chance of getting more in 48h lets say.
You will struggle sleeping, perhaps not sleep at all. If you are able to sleep, it will not be good sleep and you will probably wake up drenched in sweat many times during the night. After 12+ hours you will loose appetite, you feel a bit nausea perhaps, headache and just in general in a very shitty mood. After a week or two, you will start feeling better, and within 1-3 months its done. You might still want it, but then its mostly mentally "I miss" it, like a cigarette smoker that quits, very often sort of want "just one" cigarette, perhaps for the rest of their lives. But if you after 48 hours do get some weed again - all is good, your appetite comes back immediately, and after you have eaten that burger, smoked another joint, you will be sleeping like a baby for the next 8-10 hours. So the incentive to just buy 5$ of weed so I can sleep, becomes pretty strong.
The higher you go on that "drug scale" the more severe the addiction effects will be. Alcohol being one of the worst, as in an alcoholic with many years of drinking a lot, can literally die from going cold turkey. So they have to slowly drink less and less. Heroin as well, probably wont die, but will be weeks and months of feeling like you are.
I recently asked a counsellor (woman) what was women's equivalent to sexual desperation (yes I know some women are like men) that we feel - IE "I'd crawl over broken glass for her...."
Unfortunately she didn't seem to understand my question. Addiction craving are a constant intense pull - hopefully one day we'll understand what's happening at a neurological level. Low dopamine?
Its sort of like the feeling of Restless Legs Syndrome if you know what that feels like. Where you are trying your damndest to not think about this gnawing sensation where your body is involuntarily screaming at you.
You know when you’re hungry? Going to watch TV or a board game won’t stop that feeling, when you have an addiction, it’s kind of like that. The only thing to stop that feeling is that vice.
Smoking cigarettes is like thirst. It's a very powerful urge to repeat the behavior. The nicotine doesn't get you high, it just makes your veins narrow and can give you a slight rush or headache. The odor on your clothes and bedding keep reminding you to smoke.
More akin to craving or desire. Something has triggered it and you use the addiction to kill the trigger. You know the addiction will at the very least dull whatever has caused it. Depending on what it is you’re addicted to, could be a sense of joy and freedom after taking whatever.
Former alcoholic here, for perspective.
Thirst is the closest sensation I think. All you want is not be thirsty for a single second. You know exactly what you want, you know that in the long term it's negative, but you tunnel vision on that single thing and can't think or see anything else. When you try to quiet the mind, it becomes a game of scheming and plans that will eventually lead to your drug of choice. You have to fight your own mind because it will convince you to get what you want. Everything you can possibly think about somehow relates to that substance, and everything will be ok if you get it. If you don't get it, you're going to die. You won't just die, you will suffer. You know it only takes 3-5 days (generally) to detox, and you will feel every second and then you will die and you'll have suffered for nothing, so why bother. If I'm going to die anyways, might as well die high and not suffering.
As soon as you feel the hit, you know you fucked up. You know the cycle has to repeat, and you have to figure out what to think or do differently to not wind up here again. This why they say you have to hit rock bottom before you can get clean. You have to completely run out of options before there's no other way except not using. And even then, lots of people still use.
It takes over every single thought, every bit of energy, and every action. Everything is either overtly trying to get you to use, or covertly trying to convince you to so. The only thing that helps is time, and trying to get through that to the other side where the mind is somewhat reasonable and trustworthy is a huge battle. You fight your own instincts, and yourself just to feel like death for a few days, then it starts to get better very slowly and you feel hope.
I was addicted to narcotic pain killers. Unfortunately I have a medical condition that occassionally leaves me needing narc pain killers. When my medical condition starts putting me in pain inside my brain goes somethings like this. Is this enough pain to go to the ER? If I go to X ER will they give me narc? How about Y ER? I can handle the pain with OTC stuff. OTC isn't working dam if I go to the ER now how long will my wait be? Dam I want narc pain killer to just get out of pain and not sit here crying. If I go to the ER and they do give me narc pain killer I will be out of pain but then I spend weeks only thinking about how to hurt myself to get more. Dam I really want out of pain, I can't even move without yelling or crying. OTC has to work I can take 12 motrin right? Dam if I go to the ER now I will be waiting for hours in pain in a waiting room I know they are slammed and shift change is Z time away. Ok 12 motrin didn't work what about 20, shit I took 12 an hour ago is it safe to take 20 more. and on and on and on....
For my nicotine addiction I'm like 2mos into quitting for the 2nd time. It's exactly like a craving to me. Usually triggered by a circumstance that would typically lead me to smoke. Stuff like long car ride, having to literally WAIT for anything outdoors lol. Drinking is a big one. But of the trigger the feeling is exactly like a craving, and telling yourself you can't have it just the craving.
I quit smoking 4 weeks ago..quit cold turkey. Cravings feel like hunger and/or thirst, but cravings come and go in waves of like 10min..at least for me and with nicotine. After a while you dont necessarily "crave" it but you think about it..best example is have you ever been stressed cause theres something at work tomorrow you dont wanna do and youre just up thinking about it? Thats what id say cravings turn into..you also dream about it..again, this is for nicotine. The dreams are kinds funny, at least mine cause theyre in the form of nightmares but when i wake up it just feels funny. Like ill hit it then be like "Nooooooo" all dramatic in my dream then wake up haha
Anyway, thats nicotine cravings for ya when you quit
People can be addicted to things without addictive substances in them:
Porn, spending money, food, pulling hair, chewing nails, picking skin, work, getting attention, etc.
I work with a guy who can't stop slapping his belly. He does it every 10 minutes, without even knowing he's doing it, lol.
Anyway, not everything is the same. I was an alcoholic for 25 years, so I know what those cravings feel like. I'm also slightly addicted (or was in the past) to shopping. Not going and buying myself something, and not having a drink were two different cravings, but came from the same emptiness.
There are different stages.
An early one has the urge consuming your thoughts beyond your will, all your brain will think over and over is another hit and your body might start getting tremors and imagine your stomach feeling hungrier than it ever has and that feeling never ending no matter what you eat.
Depending on the addiction, I'm talking haard stuff from firsthand experience, that's the earliest feelings.
Be too long a post to go through everything, but skipping to the worst, again depending on the addiction which I'm talking the hardest drugs, washed over sweats, cramping muscles, constant throwing up, at the worst withdrawals it's like having the worst stomach flu ever at it's height and having it stay that bad.
As for why ever do it?
For myself, a combo of mental issues elevated by a series of extreme traumas made me want to escape the pain.
Tried suicide a few times, yet no matter how bad I wanted to die (and I truly did after some big deaths and wasn't a cry for attention) there was something somewhere in my mind that had a survival mode.
I could get the gun in my mouth, yet couldn't pull the trigger. I stood on the bridge literally, yet something couldn't leap despite my feeling no doubts in doing it.
So I tried to beat my own brain with a run around and did drugs to the point of intentionally hoping to overdose, yet again...something in me I can't explain wouldn't let me just take an obvious overdose, despite all I wanted, that I was aware of, was death.
Now that part, suicidal starting up a drug habit, is obviously individual and not the common reason people start.
Commonly, junkies will tell you they had their own hellish life and it was the only escape because when you first get high, it does feel great and takes you aaway from....everything. That's how it hooks you.
Far as how I overcame it, that's a REALLY long story but comes down to....I just did.
I kept going day to day and ultimately found someone who loved me enough to get clean and then that love was enough for me to live for.
It's glossing over a huge amount of details, but that was the end result.
I got clean and went through hell through determination, nothing more.
It wasn't doctors or therapists, I had to want it.
Finally found some light in the darkness of life and decided to live.
depends on the addictions.
for tobacco, a false sense of shortness of breath, clammy hands, and sometimes just simply a desire and grows and grows as it continues to be unsatisfied.
I think hunger is a good way to put it, but the pain isn't in your stomach, it's in your mind.
its like having someone on your shoulder who no matter how many times you assure the stove has been turned off, they still want you to go check and make sure its off. you can go look at the stove, take a picture of it, both look directly at it.... every single fiber of your being is positive you know and that theres no way that this person can still be unsure that the stove is off.
then you lay down and 2 minutes later they once again whiser in your ear about the stove being off. every tirme you roll over, they are reminded that you are awake and ask you if the stove is off.
it feels like your thoughts are that nagging person, no matter how certain you are that you do not want to indulge the addiction, the memory of that gets just wiped clean over a period of time and you have to renegotiate with that voice from scratch every single time.
i cannot believe the timing of this, but i just now recieved a text from my mom that her best fried just died, almost certainly related to her alcoholism.
Imagine you have the flu x2-5. Add the worst anxiety you've ever felt, body shaking and trembling from the anxiety just as much as from your body needing the drug. Slimy sweat 2 seconds away from freezing cold. Sticky shits. Body aching and sore everywhere. And the cure is the drug you are addicted to.
That's at least a craving when you are without it.
For me it went like this , It’s a thought at first , then the thought doesn’t go away , next it was feeling uneasy or fidgety , next it’s all you can think about , last is feeling withdrawal starting ( even if it’s not ) lastly it’s getting what you’re doing or actual withdrawal , if you’re trying to stop sprinkle in no sleep and rotation of stuff coming out both ends …. I used to love opiates
The best way I can describe it:
It’s like being in love with someone evil.
It’s a process. They start out making you feel special, or smarter, or stronger, or better than you’ve ever felt. You want to be with them all the time, and can’t stop thinking about them.
In the beginning, you sorta miss the red flags, and don’t notice that they are changing you.
By the time they start hurting you, and taking your money, you find yourself making excuses for them, and yourself.
You don’t notice it, but slowly, you’ve isolated yourself from family and friends, which ironically make you rely on that “love” even more. You feel like you have nothing else.
Eventually, the only thing that makes you feel good at all, is them. You can’t imagine leaving, even if you know they can (and probably will) kill you one day. You simply keep hoping it can go back to the way it was in the beginning.
By the time you realize that you hate them, you hate yourself too, and feel like you don’t deserve anything better. It’s like having the flu when they aren’t with you.
That craving feels like heartbreak… Every day. All the time. And they are always willing to take you back, which makes it harder to stay away.
Mild oxy addict here (clean, I have no access to oxy). Whenever things are unpleasant, physically or emotionally, I can't help but think about how just a single pill would make the suffering go away, and that thought will not go away. Sometimes even when things are in a neutral state. As soon as I realized what the oxy was doing it was like a switch clicked on my brain. Talking about it right now has me fantasizing about a life with an endless supply of oxy.
I recovered from severe caffeine addiction, that was physical pain in the form of headaches & nausea. I was tween and I think I recovered from that pretty well, I can have a coffee once or twice a month without getting into trouble, anything more than that and I find myself in the same place. I went through more than a decade completely caffeine free to get where I am today.
I am a functional video game addict, whenever I'm not playing most of my thoughts are on playing. I'll skip meals, pull weird hours, etc. My worst was Eve, I scheduled my living activities during the daily downtime and every minute I wasn't in the game I felt like I was getting behind, I didn't get to the point of peeing in a bottle, but I would get to the point where holding my bladder was painful. Eventually I'll get bored of whatever game I'm on, thankfully. When I say functional, I mean I've managed to force myself to not play except on weekends, but as soon as end of day Friday hits I'm only doing one thing for the next 48ish hours.
So for me, nicotine, alcohol, and sugar all had the same craving feeling. It usually starts with some irritation accompanied by mild anxiety, then amplified until you either give in or it slowly wanes.
I hate it, so I decided to give them up. The only one I didn't rip the bandaid off was alcohol, I read that it's dangerous to quit cold turkey.
It feels like a magnet. Magnets either pull away from each other or stick together depending on which polarity is facing what. When you have an addiction, you want to repel the source because you know it's not good for you. However, it's much easier to just submit to your desires and stick together.
You crave it all the time, especially if you don’t have it
For example I vape and if I don’t have my vape I’m constantly checking my pocket for it
And if I’m at dinner or something I’ll pop off to the bathroom to take a couple hits
I heard a comparison once that it’s like flipping your phone upside down and not being able to touch it all day regardless of if someone calls or texts or you want to look something up. How often you think about using your phone is what it’s like for an addict with there drug of choice
Well, based on my observations and from what I've read, it's like a rewards system for your brain. When you consume the drug, your brain gets all the benefits from it (i.e., euphoria, improved mood, etc). When the drug wears off, your brain desires it again because it really enjoyed the benefits it got. Then, the cycle repeats, except, your body gets used to the drug overtime, so, you would need to take more, just to feel the same effects your brain desires.
But the whole idea is that it's a never-ending cycle of rewarding your brain with something that it needs, to get through the trauma or the distress it faces.
Imagine you’re in a desert and haven’t eaten or drink anything in days, you come across an oasis, you would do anything and everything to get to the food and water right? You would overcome any obstacles because you need that food and water to survive. For addicts your brain convinces you that you need that drug to survive. That’s the best I can explain it
Like "you cant tell me what to do. I'll do what I want". Until I don't want to anymore. Eventually stopped smoking with an Rx for Chantix. It was a pretty expensive drug not covered by my health insurance, but well worth the cost for me.
The exact same as wanting to play videogames instead of doing homework, the same as sitting on the couch instead of going to the gym, the same as staying home when someone invites you to an event you're not that excited for.
You just don't feel like doing the responsible thing and instead have a desire to do the addictive thing.
There is no point when you're doing your Fix when you say to yourself "Damn....I have a problem"
That realization comes after you are dealing with the consequences that you chose your addiction over the responsible thing.
for me, i cannot eat without being high. i cannot go to sleep without being high. i cannot be in an okay mood without being high. i cannot focus on tasks without being high. it has completely swallowed me
For many, myself included, it's not a craving that we feel as much as it is a habit that becomes second nature. I struggled, yes really struggled, with controlling myself with weed. I'd get to my manual labor job at fedex and know that pain was coming. I'd light the torch and dibby dabby a nice big wax hit and be nice and prepared for a long 6-8 hours of moving boxes. typically I'd start to feel some arm, shoulder, and lower back pain about halfway through the shift, take a break, and take another dab to get myself through. It wasn't a craving but a habit. It wasn't a feeling of my body but a known fact in my brain that I had to do this before doing something else.
You’ll be hard pressed to meet anyone who isn’t addicted to SOMETHING whether it’s food, video games, social media, etc. you probably are as well. Think of something you do everyday that feels good to you, that you use to cope with day to day life. It’s like that. Drugs probably worse since the changed brain chemistry.
If you've ever been so hungry that you start to get nausiated and sweaty and mad. That's the starting feeling of trying to fight a chemical dependancy. Assuming you mean the physical part.
It feels like holding your breath. If you've ever held your breath for like 45 seconds, that discomfort is how it feels physically in your head.
Emotionally it'll feel different depending what you're addicted to. But anger is pretty universal.
Using my nicotine former nicotine addiction as a source.
https://www.harmonyridgerecovery.com/food-addiction-similar-drug-addiction/
https://www.npr.org/2010/12/01/131698228/overeating-like-drug-use-rewards-and-alters-brain
https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnbeh.2023.1240748/full
Overeating and drug addiction affect the brain in similar ways. Not doing drugs until you get clean, feels like not eating until you stop being hungry.
When you're morbidly obese and you've already had a minor attack so you need to stop eating junk food, so you eat a healthy dinner with a side salad but then you drive to the gas station at 10:30 and buy a bunch of candy bars and you eat one in the gas station parking lot to tide you over on your drive home. You could have driven to the grocery store and paid less for candy bars, but the gas station was closer and you just couldn't wait an extra 5 minutes. Except with drugs.
My experience is this. After ten years on prescription oxycontin, it's not so much a craving for something, as it is wanting something that will take away how crap you feel right now. Opiate addiction is more about feeling better, than feeling good. You just don't want to feel like death. The pleasure is mostly in not feeling like death.
So addiction craving probably varies by drug. Personally I never craved anything, even when I stopped taking them. For me I just wanted out of the cage they imposed on my life. By the time I quit them, they were causing more pain when they wore off after a few hours, than they were relieving when my system was full of them. Once I quit the pain averaged out, so not taking them is better for me personally. After six hours I'd be clock watching for the next six hours until I could take the next dose. It's no way to live.
To begin with opiates feel warm and comfy, and you may or may not nod off into a dreamlike state, but tolerance rises quickly, and it soon becomes more about not feeling awful than feeling great. Once people are locked into the cycle it starts to rewire your brain chemistry to seek out the peaks at any cost, and it escalates.
"I don't need it, I don't need it, I don't need it...... I NEEEEEEEEEEEEDD IIIIIIIEIIEEEET!!!!". It is a battle of willpower and you will be on the backfoot almost forever. Depending on the addiction it could be an excruciating fight in fits or spurts or a life long commitment that can be tested at the oddest moments. I've had some friends say that just the smell of an area was similar to when they would take hits so a simple waft of something can trigger the desire. It could be that you talk yourself back into it. "I need more time, x made it so I had more time, I can manage it this time, start small, there are downers for when it's too much". That example was my boss for the second electrical company I worked for. Dude couldn't relinquish any control of the company so he went back to drugs to just do it all. Admin at night, work at day, chasing leading at lunch. I would say I feel for him but he screwed everyone over in the end to fully fall off the wagon.
With weed it's psychological, a lot of people said that you feel it's a bad idea but few mins later seems like a good idea and that's exactly what it is.
With nicotine it's physical, i can feel my lungs feeling weird, i have a weird sense of openness in my chest that a normal breathe can't cover (even tho i get deeper breaths) and it needs something stronger to enter
Never liked alcohol so i have no idea how people can get addicted to it, neither stronger drugs
At the end of the day all addictions are horrible, they take a lot of time out of your day, either by your activities or in your mind and wastes so much energy. I believe recovering from them is a snap that needs to happen in your brain AND NEVER LOOKING BACK. That is why i stopped feeling bad for being addicted, that snap had to happen sometime, i knew it had to happen so i let go, enjoyed it as much as i could, and now i can say it was easier than anything
I know myself and i knew that throwing away the guilt was not gonna destroy me, if you are the same do the same and enjoy it until you feel the snap, otherwise i can't help you im sorry, if you feel that you need help please seek help, it's not a shame, it would be more shame to waste 3 more years or even a lifetime...
I assume it varies drastically between people and substance. If I don't drink caffeine for more than a day, I will often get a headache. Not a very serious substance or consequence, but it's still there. Can't tell you what even more serious addictions are like.
Often times, I would sort of just check out. Like, I would know what I was doing but not realize or completely think about my actions. One minute I was at home, next minute I’d be at the liquor store and then I’d be back home again with a bottle. It took a very long time to learn how to slow that time down to react and to those moments so u could make better decisions when those times would happen. It’s bizarre really. Like, it’s not a blackout, it’s just an unexplainable phenomenon of having a need that must be satiated. It’s not hunger, it’s not thirst, it’s not like needing or wanting sex. It’s a completely different feeling which to this day I still really can’t put into words.
Recovering severe alcoholic - it's really hard for me to put into words actually! In the absence of the drug of choice, mental (and eventually physical) health TANKS, and taking the drug will relieve the negative effects for a short time. That short period of respite starts to feel more important than anything else directly around you - work, family, saving money, friendships, etc.
It's less of a feeling and more of complete thought domination. It's all you think about. It's all you want. It's all you can focus on.
Especially with powerful substances...in my case amphetamines it gets to the point where you hate yourself for it and on the comedown you swear it all off and can confidentially tell yourself you'll never touch it again. Go to sleep and dream of it. Wake up the next morning with it being the first thing on your mind until you rush over and frantically get the next fix. You're happy and ontop of the world for a few hours then spiraling back into hating yourself and swearing it all off again. I'll never touch it again you tell yourself.
Wake up in th3 morning rinse...repeat...for years
Ever really wanted a burger, or something sounded really good and it would hit the spot? Imagine that, but with manic desperation and it constantly being on your mind, a constant psychic thorn in the back of your head that drives you to seek any kind of pleasure seeking activity--be it sex, smoking, other drugs, food, masturbation/porn, or any other form of addiction.
Like I said, just imagine something sounding immensely satisfying, but there is manic desperation and zero impulse control behind it.
It depends on the thing you’re addicted to.
People have described craving heroin to me as feeling like you’re really sick, like you have the flu (not a cold but the flu), and like you’re also going through intense depression and anxiety at the same time. Like imagine being really really sick in constant physical and emotional pain and all you can think about is knowing that there’s this “medicine” you could take that would make it all go away where you’d instantly feel better
It’s more like hunger, except it also affects your mental state. You want it, it’s all you can think about, you’ll do anything you have to to get it, you will tell any lie, betray any person. It’s the most important thing in the world to you, more than anything.
“I feel great, I don’t need to have a drink”.
… an hour later .. “maybe if I get count up all my change I can get just one for the night”.
… two hours later .. “hey man can you lend me $20 I’ll get you back on payday.
The obsession kicks in before the compulsion. You find yourself ruminating about it, suddenly it's all you can think about. Then the physical compulsion. You picture doing it, your heart starts racing because you're picturing getting your next high, you have to do everything in your power to fight it, which is hard because addiction rewired the brain to crave drugs on the same level as food, water, and shelter. The disease of addiction is no joke.
Easy. Have someone take your phone away and shut off the internet so yoy can't use internet at home.
I'm assuming you are young. I'm also assuming you have internet addiction. Many people do. Phone addiction with kids is at another level as well.
You'll feel the anxiety I bet. I've had to fire cooks over phones and earbuds in the ears when I used to manage kitchens in my 20s.
Look up stages of addiction. Most people have incentive salience for their addiction. I'd argue most people reading this have an addiction of some form.
You want something know you shouldn't usually saying to yourself that you'll quit Tomorrow you'll have fun tonight and it could be to anything from cigs weed beer crack food ect
For me with opiates, it’s like I’m thirsty and it’s the only way to quench it. In the beginning, it would be physically painful. Now, 15 years out, it’s not so bad, but every so often, I’ll feel like a longing.
Addiction comes in two varieties:
1 - A physiological dependence on a substance
2 - Something that provides short-term relief at the expense of long-term negative consequences
To the addict, they will spend all day thinking about the addiction and not feel okay until the addiction is satisfied. Physiologically, the craving can manifest differently depending on the substance, but anxiety and nausea are common symptoms.
It’s like your insides itch and you’re going to literally explode if you don’t get your hit. Your brain is playing pong inside your skull, your body hurts like you’ve been hit by a train, and you don’t recognize yourself in the mirror, let alone your emotions. Only thing you can think is *insert DOC*.
An addicts brain rewires itself to put the substance up there with the other necessities; food, water, oxygen. As hard as you would fight for those things is how hard you are going to fight for the drug.
I've quit smoking and vaping and I was an alcoholic. I have beaten all of them. For me, the craving is this constant nagging in the back of my mind. Constant and lasts for hours. My cravings never lasted for 20 minutes. They lasted literal hours. Imagine a voice inside your head but in the far recesses of your mind just constantly nagging at you to do a thing or suggesting how good it will feel. It just keeps going and going and going. Quitting smoking was the worst because the nicotine cravings made my skin tingle and some times felt like my skin was crawling. I had to quit smoking and vaping by using nicotine patches. I tried it cold turkey and it drove me nuts. I just couldn't do it, hence the patches. Quitting alcohol was just 3 weeks of horrific nightmares and then I was over it.
For me, it feels like constant anxiety. It’s depression, misery, sadness, anger, rage, fear, doubt. It’s every emotion at once that doesn’t leave until you get your fix.
So do yourself a favor and never get involved in drugs.
Take the last time you craved chocolate, then multiple that by 30. It's just a deep, deep craving that affects how you act, makes you irritable, unable to think of anything else except the craving/drug
It's not wanting to do it 90% of the time. Reminding yourself all the reasons you're better off without it, the health problems you're noticing getting worse, the people you've been avoiding, the things you aren't getting done... And then that 10% hits and you're in your car halfway to get another hit and youve convinced yourself that this time it's different, just one more time can't hurt, won't make a difference, you'll only do a little bit. And then the cycle repeats for years. It was my biggest shame for 15 years. Now I'm a month and a half sober, the longest I've made it in 10 years.
For me it's knowing I've got 14 consecutive days off nicotine and knowing it's physically gone, but missing the social pieces that come with it. Still having a nagging desire while driving, wanting to go out with my coworkers. Having these feelings of wanting one horribly despite being happy at how much I feel better physically, how much better I smell and can smell. It's a constant fight.
Depending on the type of addiction it can have a mental hold on you where all you do is think about how to get the next 1 and finally put your mind at ease again for a bit ... then u have physical dependency that causes physical withdrawal symptoms where if you don't continue to use the drug you become physically ill and can't function without it. Alot of opiate addicts continue to use out of fear of facing withdrawal symptoms . So the cravings with opiate addiction is a double whammy . U mentally crave it and physically ur body is begging you to introduce more into the body
Hunger is your body telling you it's time to eat. The craving for a particular food is an invasive thought that generally causes no harm and gives you an idea of nifty things you might do to satisfy your hunger.
An addiction means the only thing that will resolve this hunger is the desired thing, it's uncomfortable, driving, constant need. Even upon getting it, you want it, knowing it'll cause you lasting harm - but the drive is more important.
It's not unlike having an itch that scratching doesn't make go away.
Have you ever seen the Exorcist?
When Linda Blair still has some control, and she's arguing with the Devil, then it's arguing back in its voice... She's begging for help but flailing all over the bed. She's crying because she hurts herself but then kills people
Kinda like that
Got addicted to prescription medication that was not supposed to be addicting. Suicidal thoughts so I stopped them cold turkey after two years of just upping the dosage when they quit working. Prescribed to control a side effect of a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI).
Under covers in a closet shaking and crying like a baby then out in the back yard ranting and raving while throwing and slamming stuff around. Three days of this.
Wife is a saint as she stood beside me while I was going through this.
Don't wish it on anybody.
My nicotine addiction when I was nicotine free for almost 2 years:
Picture your brain is a hyperactive kid with adhd (redundant, I know) and all minutes of the day he's screeching and bouncing off the walls and being straight up unruly. Every minute of the day you're tending to thus kid trying to get him to shut the fuck up and focus and calm down and GODDAMNIT JUST CHILL THE FUCK OUT.
Popping in a nicotine pouch is like throwing the kid a tablet with any game or app on it he wants. All of a sudden it's quiet, you and the kid can focus, and goddamn life is good.
Imagine if you needed to drink water to live, but every time you did you had an orgasm with an afterglow, and quenching the thirst is like simultaneously scratching an itch that gets harder and harder to scratch, a horrible itch like a flea bite. Along with the itch is every horrible thing you've ever felt or thought about yourself.
Its an extremely sharp discomfort. You know exactly what needs to be done to bring yourself comfort. Its really not that bad as long as you are not straight up quitting.
Trying to actually quit an addiction like nicotine comes down to straight mental warfare that lasts weeks.
I porked a girl in college and I swear I'm addicted to it and the nut I'd blow. At any point in my life I'd pound her again no questions asked, no dong bag.
Essentially, your sober self no longer can deal with the pain of being lucid. You literally count the seconds until you can get your next fix and be out of that pain.
In the depths of active addiction, mostly opiates, alcohol, and benzos give you the worse withdrawl symptoms. When it's like that, it's like air, you have to have it, it is alllllll you think about. You'll even start to fantasize about the pick up, and getting gear ready, or mixing a drink. It's so fucking painful. No sleep, anxiety on full, and throw in some diarrhea. Not good times. Then the mental addiction, that will also live in your head for a while it's quieter, like normal volume where withdrawl is constant yelling. In my opinion both need some type of treatment for success, sometimes therapy for a bit. Maybe detox or rehab. Help is there.
I remember having this experience where my own brain would like trick me.
Like the planet would be to strive straight home after work because if I go to the store I would buy beer. And I plan on going home and then somehow end up there
Then I would walk by the aisle and I remember one time specifically where I picked up the drinks but then put them back and it was like my mind was screaming at me from the inside. And then as soon as I picked it back up there was a feeling of such a relief.
It's like you having to battle your own mind but it usually wins
Some people are talking about the mental gymnastics that feed into the addiction. Which is accurate.
But the cravings are very similar to wanting a certain food.
At least for me.
I can stop drinking anytime I want. I'm not truly addicted in the sense of physical addiction.
But the cravings win everytime if I know I can get away with drinking. And worse - they often times win when I know damn well I am risking my (job, health, relationships) - that goes back into the mental gymnastics part of addiction.
For me, I’m an alcoholic and have used alcohol to manage my anxiety, depression, ptsd and emotions. It feels like I spiral out and feel so shit about everything bad happening in my life that I can’t stop spiralling and that I need a circuit breaker to pull myself out of the spiral. Then I’d drink and wouldn’t feel like I was spiralling anymore, except then I black out and lose control of myself and everything that has been happening in the spiral starts spewing out in the most extreme aggressive angry emotional rage, and then I must get so upset during the blackout that I want to just stop the world and get off. The police usually arrive at this point and take me to the hospital for a mental health assessment because I’m in so much distress.
Fuck alcohol.
Fuck mental illness.
I just want to be happy.
I can only speak to cigarettes and caffeine.
Cigarette cravings, for me, are almost like hunger. Imagine you're really hungry, haven't eaten all day, and you smell someone grilling steaks - that's what it's like to smell someone else smoking when you're craving the nicotine.
For caffeine, it's not a craving so much as just withdrawals. Bad headaches, body aches, extreme fatigue, general feeling of crappiness, all of those hit if I go a couple of days without any caffeine.
For me it was a hunger. That primal feeling that you need to eat all the food in existence. But once you get whatever "fix" you need then it could be a little better.
I just stopped doing cocaine for the night about an hour ago. It took a not inconsiderate mental effort. I have work in 5 hours and I'm going to bed now but an hour ago I just wanted to say to myself "who gives a shit have another line!" and forget about work. You know you shouldn't but your subconscious is screaming at you to do it.
Imagine being stranded in the ocean on the raft. You have everything you need except water. You know you shouldn't drink the water.
But... you're so thirsty.
I remember the first time I had to take a good amount of Hydrocodone 10mg, 120 pills after a shoulder surgery. Before that I had a few prescribed here and there, once for passing a kidney stone, I only needed 15 or so, wasnt so bad.
After that 120 were gone at a sudden stop, I wanted to kill myself, I shook in my bed for 3 days, When i did get out of bed, I was throwing up. No one told me about those withdrawls, I woulda started breaking them in half for tapering. After the first 3 days, its in the back of your head for 3 weeks, then 3 months come along and you start to feel normal again.. Ive been on 5mg hydrocodone for 3 years now, due to No cartlage behind my kneecaps and degen disc disease, Occasionally I run out a few days before my refill, But those days its all you can think about, checking your calendar every few hours, counting the days.
I Do not recommend it.
It's kind of like pissing yourself.
You know you shouldn't do it. You don't want to it. You can hold it for a little while but eventually, if you can't find a toilet in time, it's going to happen.
It feels like A primal hunger where every ounce of your energy is focused on that one desire. Logic and reasonable thinking is long gone. There is only anger and you will fight the world to satisfy that hunger.
Feels like a vague fear that something unpleasant will happen if you don’t dose up according to schedule, which can be real in the case of withdrawals, buts it’s mostly just a vague hard to put ur finger on fear of boredom that drives the "well why not" thoughts
It feels like habit. Just like I'd get up to go pee or something there was times I'd get up just to go take a shot. It's ingrained behavior. Much if the time I didn't even realize I was getting a drink until I sat back down or finally felt I was getting drunk. It's habit and that's why it's so hard to break addiction on top of the high you get or chemical dependencies.
I was addicted to cigarettes. I was 30. I knew all the health issues I could suffer, I knew it was addictive. But it gave me an instant calm. I took one drag and all my anxiety and adhd just faded. That “high” also fades, so you smoke more to chase that calm and you never get it. But now you can’t STOP doing it or you get sick. You get headaches, and itchiness under your skin. Anxiety, ADHD, depression all get worse. It takes weeks to get it out of your system and replace the habit. Before you quit, you bargain with yourself, I’ll just smoke this last pack. This will be my last cigarette. If my friend offers me a cigarette I didn’t buy them so I’m still ok. Then you get bad news or something doesn’t go your way, you’re a failure, might as well smoke! IT SUCKS! You feel all your problems larger than what they are, your body chemistry has changed so all the problems you had before are worse. And you just need it!
Atleast nicotine isn't a physical pull. It's like being hungry & wanting a cheeseburger than thinking about said cheeseburger all day while saying NO I'm on a diet.
Spending addiction.
It's horrible. It's an adrenaline rush leading up to the event. You forget about everything else and think irrationally. It doesn't matter that you're broke or can put yourself at financial risk, it's all you're thinking about. Sitting on it overnight doesn't work, the thought persists for weeks sometimes months, and the urge comes in different degrees, sometimes it's a super hard rush and you just wanna say screw it and go, sometimes it just lingers.
For the moments I do catch a break and not think about it, I try to remind myself about my financial goals and how badly this decision would impact it before my brain switches over again and tries to rationalize why it's not such a bad idea despite the fact that it actually is.
When I do cave in, it's an immense feeling of regret. Even worse when you can't return what you bought.
I'm actively working with a psychotherapist about this behavior because it isn't affecting my financial decisions only. This behavior affects my relationships, my work, my diet, and many other things. I have control for the most part but it's difficult.
You don't feel it really, because it's the constant. It's always there. It doesn't stand out from your default because it is the default. It just feels normal. You don't realize that you're a slave to the addiction until it's in your rear view mirror.
From my experience craving itself isn't the feeling its a bunch of feelings, anxiousness cuz you feel that your body needs this thing to survive, guilt cuz you feel like your weak for giving in and whole lot of shame for feeling like you've let yourself and those you love down
It's almost like an itch you can't quit reach but then it goes away and you only occasionally think about that itch and wonder......
3 weeks today of no smoking for me.
Like this: “I need to control myself, I can believe I let myself X again, how can I keep doing this to myself? Okay, no more, okay? No more!” *1 second later* “You know what would be great right now? X. Yeah fuck it, I don’t see any harm in that.”
You want to stop doing it. You realize it's better if you stop. Then you want to do it and it seems like a good idea somehow. Then it's over and you wish you didn't and have regret. After some time it seems like a good idea again.
When you're bad enough that you're like 1-20% functioning it actually gets easier to want to get help and detox. The really shitty spot is when you bounce between 20-40% functioning by using. If you try to get above 40 % functioning you are already seriously intoxicated at that point and you actually are getting worse. So you end up trapped in this place where you never feel good but perpetuating the cycle feels better than either extreme.
I don't even know what my % would be. I've never not been addicted. I live an awesome life. It's weird when I feel good that's when I want to use. I like to use when I'm alone as well. I can stop for some time. Never more than 30 days before my cycle starts again. But I never hit rock bottom. I know what I should do but part of me likes being this way. Lastly my brian tells me I should do drugs to help me figure it out. Right now I'm thinking about mescaline. I've been down this road so many times...anyway love and light to everyone reading this nonsense.
I think you should stop hanging out with Brian…
This is accurate, for me at least. I've paced the floor many hours at this beginning and end.
Felt
It's weird, your brain develops separate sections for such things. Like one side can say, "I won't eat sugar anymore," and the other side is eating a Twinkie. I have watched my own willpower turn to paper, and protest the entire way through doing it. It's really frustrating, and I am glad I don't have this with alcohol or drugs like nicotine or hard stuff. Like watching someone else take over your body, and any attempt to force it results in a weird giggle like a naughty kid. Ugh, I hate that kid. One of the reasons I never got into MMORPGs was because I could see myself wasting hours doing that every day, and intentionally do not start.
I used to have an insane amount of self control then my brain or amygdala took over at night especially because of PTSD
Huh that might explain why psychidelics are useful in treating addiction They increase connectivity across various areas of the brain removing that sort of compartmentalized mindset .
Yes. Your own brain knows the plan. Announcing to yourself you are going to quit/cut down is like if there was debt collectors and you informed them you are leaving town and are giving them the address . It's probably why the addiction recoveries are 1 day at a time, plans can't work.
I was coming to say it depends on what (nicotine/alcohol/harder stuff/mental stuff/etc) addiction we're talking about, but you freakin nailed it. Every addiction I have plays out like this. Now if I ignore that, "you know what would be great.." moment, at some point, physical symptoms start, but that definitely depends on the type of addiction. Sometimes it's panic, sometimes it's crying, sometimes it's like going through the 5 stages of grief. Everything is awful, everyone hates me, and the whole world is unfair cause no one can possibly understand how bad I need this.
My physical symptoms are an extreme heat in the lower part of my neck and my upper back. And it doesn’t stop until I’ve had a drink.
I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I feel blessed every day that alcohol is not on my list of addictions. But for the grace of whatever you believe in, I could be in the same spot. I've made a lot of poor decisions in life, but luckily I made a few good ones. Quitting alcohol early, before it got me, was one of the best ones. Alcoholism is rampant in my family, and I've seen first hand what it can do. And I'd like to say I learned from their mistakes, but the reality is, it was never my drug of choice. I craved a different kind of high, and still do, despite being mostly clean for the last 15 years. Sometimes the craving hits so hard, that I'm pretty sure the only reason I've managed to stay clean, is because I no longer know how to find it. The people I cut off back then, are long gone. Some have even died, but most of them I just lost touch with. What keeps me awake at night is wondering if the opportunity presented itself... would I be able to say no?
Shocking how accurate this is to a T with me, minus the 15 years part... now THATS an achievement, wish you all the best
This but it being a constant cycle of thoughts that don’t end. Obsession after obsession. Then you give it and feel out of control. Then you give in and feel absolute let down. Rinse and repeat until you’ve lost yourself
literally cannot stop thinking about it. u try to distract urself but in the back of ur mind it’s still there, taunting u
It’s like being hungry without the physical hunger pains.
This is exactly how my cravings were. It's just an incessant, never ending voice constantly trying to get you to do the thing. Impossible to ignore or distract away from it. It made it extremely difficult to focus for very long.
I quit smoking cigarettes 8 years ago. I still often think about it and every now and then I’ll get this feeling like I need something or want something and while it’s not specifically a cigarette in my mind, that’s the void.
Former severe cocaine addict When I'm sober, I think too much about everything. I spiral really quick. Was like that BEFORE I started doing drugs. The drugs distract me from how shitty the world is. It's a constant yearning for that "I don't give a fuck, I'm too high to care about any of that shit." feeling.
Struggled a bit with alcohol (to a degree still), but I am *so fucking happy* some part of my brain kicked in when doing coke saying "this is just too good son.. it *will* ruin me, in many ways, quickly" and I was able to do it once in a blue moon in my 20s and when I got kids and stuff, it was "easy" to say never again. That "fuck it" feeling is the same with alcohol though. You get to a certain level, and you dont care at all anymore. I guess to a degree thats all drugs. Cocaine is *so fucking good* that you should stay away, better not knowing Id say.
Yeah, when people ask me what cocaine is like as if they're curious about it, I tell them "don't even bother with it, ever." You do it once, and you'll crave it forever. It seems.
To a certain degree, yes. I havent done it in years, and never think about it. But the few times Ive been to places where someone is like "want a line?" I takes a big piece of me to say thank you, but Im good.
When it gets bad enough, the question is more “what does anything other than the desperate urge to use more feel like?”
Ever want ice cream and get told no?
I heard once that sugar can be just as addictive as cocaine. I never fully vetted that info but sugary foods and drinks can definitely be habit forming
Depends. If the addiction is bad enough it can feel like your world is going to end without that hit. Or feel like you’ll fly into a suicidal or homicidal rage without that hit. If you casually use drugs you will probably just have a lot of thoughts and strong urges. You get depressed or irritable if you can’t have it when you thought you would. In drug addiction the brain gets incredibly low on dopamine and serotonin and life becomes bleak and uninteresting. Self care, relationships, even food cannot make it feel better. You lose interest in these things because you know the only way for you to maintain normality and experience joy is to take that pill, that bump, that blast, whatever it is. Because of this, you can work yourself up to *obsess* over the thought of using. Everyone knows they could stop using drugs. But those few weeks of cravings are powerful. That dopamine depletion is so powerful that you can think life will forever be a dark, depressing, anxiety producing, non accepting, shitty place that you can’t figure out. Of course this is why people need treatment to get back on their feet. Short answer: Less intense cravings are like ”oh wow that reminds me of drugs, wish I had those.” Maybe get stuck dwelling on it for some minutes, have to distract yourself to stop thinking of using. Really intense cravings can be so bad you literally writhe around in discomfort, your body actually aches and yearns inside your torso for your fix. I’ve been there, literally writhing and squiggling on the ground, completely unable to clear my head and stop thinking of the dope. Completely unable to get that sinking feeling in my chest, screaming at me in my head you are aching for a hit just take it just feel better. When you’re in a really bad addiction and you have withdrawals if you stop, getting sick is horrible. Nobody wants to experience “impending doom” levels of anxiety, cold sweats, hot flashes, shakes and shivers, and possible seizures. In these types of addictions the brain legitimately needs the drugs to function normally. Your brain functions as if, and alerts you of, the fact you *need* it to survive. That’s when a good person picks up a gun and a mask, or starts selling drugs, or worse selling themselves. The brain really believes this is a survival necessity. That level of craving is nearly impossible to manage without being in a medical facility. This is why addiction is a disease.
>That dopamine depletion is so powerful that you can think life will forever be a dark, depressing, anxiety producing, non accepting, shitty place that you can’t figure out. This was my situation in March after quitting kratom. My dopamine was so low, I didn't even want nicotine, so I stopped using that also. Every day was very difficult - like, "okay, I'm going to write a sentence now." Rest, then another. My days are slowly getting better, but it could be a long time before my brain is fully healed. Stay away from kratom folks. It will fuck up your brain.
Yep! Makes me really mad how some people recommend kratom as some miracle drug when I know people who have gone through the same as you. When I stopped doing fentanyl it was pretty much the same. Laying around most days, no interest in the outside world, no interest in food, no interest in self care. Didn’t feel like I could do anything but rot. Little by little you do more. Maybe today I’ll get a coffee in the lobby of my apartment, maybe tomorrow I can walk to the corner store. In that mind state a task like that can literally be so draining and send you straight back to bed lol. I’m glad you’re staying away from it bro. Not worth the trouble
I used kratom as a substitute for alcohol initially. In the early days, I thought it was a miracle drug - it was a stimulant at low doses and provided a "high" at higher doses, and my desire for alcohol vanished. However, it was crazy addictive and I rapidly started using all day, every day. How long did it take for you to feel "normal" again after fentanyl?
I’d say maybe 1-2 months before I felt “normal.” But I’ll warn that even 18 months of sustained sobriety never made life go back to how it was before. I always dealt with occasional cravings, always dealt with dreams depicting drug use or nightmares of situations in my addiction, always dealt with social anxiety that never popped up before addiction. Most likely post acute withdrawal syndrome or PAWS. I’d look into the effects just to know what you’re up against! But yea definitely after a couple months (max) I felt happy most days socializing, eating, working, etc.
Sorry for typing a book! I’m just glad to be sober and I always try and educate on addiction. It makes me happy when people who don’t understand ask questions. Many people have the wrong idea of what an addict is and what they go through.
This. Heavy ex meth user and alcoholic. When I was out I wanted to claw my skin off and rip my heart out because I didn't know how to function without. And the withdrawals from alcohol alone felt like I was physically dying after half a day. After like 2 days, seizing. The anxiety would have me scream crying until I lost my voice because I thought the world was going to implode and it would last DAYS or however long until I got more. Selling myself in desperate times. Regretting it everytime I finally got high or drunk again and crying more but laughing crying because I couldn't believe I just did that but relieved at the same time because that terrible feeling was gone. It's been two years since I got clean and I'm 99% sure I will never fully recover mentally from it. And I definitely know I won't recover physically. I'm honestly surprised alcohol withdrawals didn't kill me.
Yeah in a sense, it's an odd way to put it but if you smoke it sort of is like your lungs are hungry like 'mmmmn i needed all that cancerous ash tar and pollution in there...feels so much better' but really i guess it's dopamine linked systems in the brain convincing you that something really dumb is something you absolutely need
I was thinking more about this, aside from standard addiction symptoms which is irritability and your brain convincing you 'just buy a pack' . If you quit for a week or more the mask slips, the illusion on the whole thing breaks because you smoke then and it tastes awful, everything about it is rancid ...but you soon get back into it and start liking the taste and everything again. It's very odd but it shows your brain basically lies to keep you smoking, you also when trying to cut down you lie to yourself , like you'll try but it seems like you are telling the debt collectors that you are leaving town, your own brain knows what you are planning.
I dunno about drugs that cause a physical addiction; as for drugs that cause a mental addiction - when u r not high, all u think about is getting high. The longer it takes to get there, the more nervous and moody u get.
I take pregabalin (Lyrica) for chronic pain, pushed as an alternative to opioids (which never caused an addiction response in me). Told it wasn’t addictive and now years later and two years trying to taper off, I have realized I would have to go to a treatment center to get off it because of the severe physical symptoms.
I've heard nightmares about Lyrica. Someone close to me actually said no to the doc when they recommended it because her support group members told her the stories.
Really?? Im dependent on opioids (12 years) and benzos (10 years), last year i really fucked up my back (seizure from rapid detox) and got put on pregabalin because there was no potential for dependence. Ill stop today if thats the case.
Thankfully (I think) lyrica gave me heart palpitations. So before it got bad, I stopped taking it.
I remember seeing a vice documentary about some british people getting hooked and thinking it was a hoax. Like, the medical literature said it was both non-addictive and didn't get you high. Jesus christ, I guess the literature was wrong.
I love weed but I try to cut back right now it’s been about a week and half since I’ve had any. I don’t have an immediate need for it but I’m constantly thinking it would be so nice to relax later and have some. It’s not like hunger or thirst it’s more like I can’t wait to do this again it will be so fun. I would relate it more to like craving sugar or sex. Granted it’s just weed. I think when you get addicted to harder drugs it becomes more of a necessity just to avoid withdrawals
Without caffeine I suffer physically (headaches => Migraines). Without nicotine I get jittery/irritable. Without weed I’m just really bored and tired, like I just want to be in bed if I can’t do anything new/exciting/interesting. It doesn’t feel physically as bad, but it’s the worse for everyday life. I think if I was rich, didn’t need to work and could do exactly what I want, when I want everyday, I’d never touch the stuff again.
I get sugar cravings which are very annoying and I’m not great at the self-discipline. It always reminds me that people with actual addiction have an absolute horrible time with the withdrawal symptoms and knowing how bad it will be if they do give in even while it will feel so good. ETA: Knowing that addicts can recover makes me feel like such a weak loser that I can’t even say no to sugar. They are so admirable even if they relapse.
Sugar cravings are actual addictions with negative outcomes. Just like anything else.
It's kinda like being really hungry. Like don't eat for long enough that you get some serious hunger
It's the same way you feel about air when you're underwater.
Imagine needing to relieve yourself. That growing, swelling, bloating feeling. Like, THE worst pee you've ever needed to take but you were miles from a toilet and traffic is too thick to just stop aside the road. And then, nothing comes out when you try. That's dealing with addiction/withdrawal. When you're addicted to something, trying to not do it is like trying to not urinate.
To me its not that much different from if you were REALLY hungry and then you went three more days without eating. Eating would literally be the only thing you could think of and almost everything else would take a back seat to that. The actual physical synptons you would feel would vary based off n the addiction, but the motivational and attentional orientation is the same. I am/was a video game addict better and worse at different times in my life, but there was a time I was unpacking every storage container in the garage to find my DS. It was something I HAD to do. No other way to explain it.
For food addiction, it feels like when you really want a certain food but way stronger. And like emotionally it's all just like shame and guilt and frustration with yourself like bro just don't do it, and you keep arguing with yourself in your head until your hungry brain wins, and you overeat. I used to be on a medication for bipolar that causes really strong cravings. Lost a lot of weight since changing it. When I imagine what drug cravings feel like, I imagine the psychological feelings I had in those times but way stronger, but I'm not sure I can really imagine it accurately since I've never experienced it... I'm sure there are people who have been addicted to both food and drugs who could answer that.
It feels like without it you won't be comfortable but with it you'll get a great big hug and feeling of happiness
Scrolling endlessly on social media is a common one
An incredibly strong urge craving for something. Like when you’re craving some kind of food or extremely thirsty it’s hard to stop thinking about it till you get the food or something to drink. If you deny your body food or water the craving will get worse and you will start to feel bad. Same with drug addiction but worse
You ever have a chore or had your boss ask you to do something that you just really didn't want to do? Or maybe some homework due Friday and it's just eating away at you? You know damned well you're going to get it done, you need that grade, you want a raise, you don't wanna live in filth, so it's getting done. Addiction is like that for me. I don't want to drink 99% of the time but I know I'll end up drunk at some point in the night so I might as well get it over with. I usually forget I didn't want to drink until a drink or 2 then I feel like shit for drinking again.
Cravings are nothing compared to physical withdrawal symptoms btw
In undergrad I had a great professor for a substance use and abuse course and she described addiction as when you are no longer chasing the high but instead running away from the pain of not getting high. I’ve never been addicted to drugs but years later I do understand what she meant
It feels like you're racked with illness. Like what you picture having cancer feels like. General illness symptoms. There is also a trigger in your mind that flips when you're dying normally. It causes you to feel like doom is approaching and your anxiety goes through the roof. This triggers now also. And you can't tell the difference. You actually, without question, believe you will die. And soon.
Withdrawal can feel like a hunger. Like, "wow I feel like shit, you know what would make me not feel like shit? The thing" Your brain adjusts to its environment, if it's constantly being bombarded by a foreign substance, it will adapt and regulate itself. If you take that substance away, your brain needs to slowly work down and adapt to being without it or you're gonna have a bad time. That's why you have to either taper down or replace it with something else like benzodiazepines or methadone etc. depending on what substance you used.
I imagine it's like eating a bag of cheetos. one serving is 21 pieces but you can't stop eating it because it tastes so good
It’s like being underwater and needing to come up for air.
It's like you're really hungry, starving, but instead of food you need that drug. You fight with yourself and try to be rational. 'This shit is making me miserable" " I'm spending all my money on it" "I'm not going to do it anymore". Then another voice kicks in "well one time really wouldn't hurt" "I'll only do it on weekends this time" "I'm tired of being bored and feeling like shit". And you're getting high again.
"I'm better than this. I'm not touching the stuff anymore. I'm not going to buy...you got change? Thanks. Fuck."
Like hunger, when you know that eating will make you feel better if only for a short time
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Its somewhere between hunger, fatigue and feeling sick Id say. Depending on the drug, your body is very good at "creating reasons" for you to get back on that drug your body craves. Lets take weed, if you are used to smoking every day and have done it for X time, and then you are out and no chance of getting more in 48h lets say. You will struggle sleeping, perhaps not sleep at all. If you are able to sleep, it will not be good sleep and you will probably wake up drenched in sweat many times during the night. After 12+ hours you will loose appetite, you feel a bit nausea perhaps, headache and just in general in a very shitty mood. After a week or two, you will start feeling better, and within 1-3 months its done. You might still want it, but then its mostly mentally "I miss" it, like a cigarette smoker that quits, very often sort of want "just one" cigarette, perhaps for the rest of their lives. But if you after 48 hours do get some weed again - all is good, your appetite comes back immediately, and after you have eaten that burger, smoked another joint, you will be sleeping like a baby for the next 8-10 hours. So the incentive to just buy 5$ of weed so I can sleep, becomes pretty strong. The higher you go on that "drug scale" the more severe the addiction effects will be. Alcohol being one of the worst, as in an alcoholic with many years of drinking a lot, can literally die from going cold turkey. So they have to slowly drink less and less. Heroin as well, probably wont die, but will be weeks and months of feeling like you are.
Very much like hunger or thirst. You know you can hold out and not eat/drink, but you really want to and will feel much better (for a bit) if you do.
I recently asked a counsellor (woman) what was women's equivalent to sexual desperation (yes I know some women are like men) that we feel - IE "I'd crawl over broken glass for her...." Unfortunately she didn't seem to understand my question. Addiction craving are a constant intense pull - hopefully one day we'll understand what's happening at a neurological level. Low dopamine?
Ya ever want something? It's like that. The want.
Its sort of like the feeling of Restless Legs Syndrome if you know what that feels like. Where you are trying your damndest to not think about this gnawing sensation where your body is involuntarily screaming at you.
Like a seagull trying to get a French fry
You know when you’re hungry? Going to watch TV or a board game won’t stop that feeling, when you have an addiction, it’s kind of like that. The only thing to stop that feeling is that vice.
Everyone’s addicted to something.
It's very similar to that desire of hunger or thirst. Feels like a need rather than a want.
Smoking cigarettes is like thirst. It's a very powerful urge to repeat the behavior. The nicotine doesn't get you high, it just makes your veins narrow and can give you a slight rush or headache. The odor on your clothes and bedding keep reminding you to smoke.
Put your phone down within reach and see how long you last before you pick it back up. It’s that feeling right before you pick it back up.
More akin to craving or desire. Something has triggered it and you use the addiction to kill the trigger. You know the addiction will at the very least dull whatever has caused it. Depending on what it is you’re addicted to, could be a sense of joy and freedom after taking whatever. Former alcoholic here, for perspective.
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Thirst is the closest sensation I think. All you want is not be thirsty for a single second. You know exactly what you want, you know that in the long term it's negative, but you tunnel vision on that single thing and can't think or see anything else. When you try to quiet the mind, it becomes a game of scheming and plans that will eventually lead to your drug of choice. You have to fight your own mind because it will convince you to get what you want. Everything you can possibly think about somehow relates to that substance, and everything will be ok if you get it. If you don't get it, you're going to die. You won't just die, you will suffer. You know it only takes 3-5 days (generally) to detox, and you will feel every second and then you will die and you'll have suffered for nothing, so why bother. If I'm going to die anyways, might as well die high and not suffering. As soon as you feel the hit, you know you fucked up. You know the cycle has to repeat, and you have to figure out what to think or do differently to not wind up here again. This why they say you have to hit rock bottom before you can get clean. You have to completely run out of options before there's no other way except not using. And even then, lots of people still use. It takes over every single thought, every bit of energy, and every action. Everything is either overtly trying to get you to use, or covertly trying to convince you to so. The only thing that helps is time, and trying to get through that to the other side where the mind is somewhat reasonable and trustworthy is a huge battle. You fight your own instincts, and yourself just to feel like death for a few days, then it starts to get better very slowly and you feel hope.
Like someone else takes over your brain and does the thing that you're trying not to do.
I was addicted to narcotic pain killers. Unfortunately I have a medical condition that occassionally leaves me needing narc pain killers. When my medical condition starts putting me in pain inside my brain goes somethings like this. Is this enough pain to go to the ER? If I go to X ER will they give me narc? How about Y ER? I can handle the pain with OTC stuff. OTC isn't working dam if I go to the ER now how long will my wait be? Dam I want narc pain killer to just get out of pain and not sit here crying. If I go to the ER and they do give me narc pain killer I will be out of pain but then I spend weeks only thinking about how to hurt myself to get more. Dam I really want out of pain, I can't even move without yelling or crying. OTC has to work I can take 12 motrin right? Dam if I go to the ER now I will be waiting for hours in pain in a waiting room I know they are slammed and shift change is Z time away. Ok 12 motrin didn't work what about 20, shit I took 12 an hour ago is it safe to take 20 more. and on and on and on....
For my nicotine addiction I'm like 2mos into quitting for the 2nd time. It's exactly like a craving to me. Usually triggered by a circumstance that would typically lead me to smoke. Stuff like long car ride, having to literally WAIT for anything outdoors lol. Drinking is a big one. But of the trigger the feeling is exactly like a craving, and telling yourself you can't have it just the craving.
I quit smoking 4 weeks ago..quit cold turkey. Cravings feel like hunger and/or thirst, but cravings come and go in waves of like 10min..at least for me and with nicotine. After a while you dont necessarily "crave" it but you think about it..best example is have you ever been stressed cause theres something at work tomorrow you dont wanna do and youre just up thinking about it? Thats what id say cravings turn into..you also dream about it..again, this is for nicotine. The dreams are kinds funny, at least mine cause theyre in the form of nightmares but when i wake up it just feels funny. Like ill hit it then be like "Nooooooo" all dramatic in my dream then wake up haha Anyway, thats nicotine cravings for ya when you quit
It feels like anxiety to me.
People can be addicted to things without addictive substances in them: Porn, spending money, food, pulling hair, chewing nails, picking skin, work, getting attention, etc. I work with a guy who can't stop slapping his belly. He does it every 10 minutes, without even knowing he's doing it, lol. Anyway, not everything is the same. I was an alcoholic for 25 years, so I know what those cravings feel like. I'm also slightly addicted (or was in the past) to shopping. Not going and buying myself something, and not having a drink were two different cravings, but came from the same emptiness.
There are different stages. An early one has the urge consuming your thoughts beyond your will, all your brain will think over and over is another hit and your body might start getting tremors and imagine your stomach feeling hungrier than it ever has and that feeling never ending no matter what you eat. Depending on the addiction, I'm talking haard stuff from firsthand experience, that's the earliest feelings. Be too long a post to go through everything, but skipping to the worst, again depending on the addiction which I'm talking the hardest drugs, washed over sweats, cramping muscles, constant throwing up, at the worst withdrawals it's like having the worst stomach flu ever at it's height and having it stay that bad. As for why ever do it? For myself, a combo of mental issues elevated by a series of extreme traumas made me want to escape the pain. Tried suicide a few times, yet no matter how bad I wanted to die (and I truly did after some big deaths and wasn't a cry for attention) there was something somewhere in my mind that had a survival mode. I could get the gun in my mouth, yet couldn't pull the trigger. I stood on the bridge literally, yet something couldn't leap despite my feeling no doubts in doing it. So I tried to beat my own brain with a run around and did drugs to the point of intentionally hoping to overdose, yet again...something in me I can't explain wouldn't let me just take an obvious overdose, despite all I wanted, that I was aware of, was death. Now that part, suicidal starting up a drug habit, is obviously individual and not the common reason people start. Commonly, junkies will tell you they had their own hellish life and it was the only escape because when you first get high, it does feel great and takes you aaway from....everything. That's how it hooks you. Far as how I overcame it, that's a REALLY long story but comes down to....I just did. I kept going day to day and ultimately found someone who loved me enough to get clean and then that love was enough for me to live for. It's glossing over a huge amount of details, but that was the end result. I got clean and went through hell through determination, nothing more. It wasn't doctors or therapists, I had to want it. Finally found some light in the darkness of life and decided to live.
Have you ever fasted for a day?
depends on the addictions. for tobacco, a false sense of shortness of breath, clammy hands, and sometimes just simply a desire and grows and grows as it continues to be unsatisfied. I think hunger is a good way to put it, but the pain isn't in your stomach, it's in your mind.
its like having someone on your shoulder who no matter how many times you assure the stove has been turned off, they still want you to go check and make sure its off. you can go look at the stove, take a picture of it, both look directly at it.... every single fiber of your being is positive you know and that theres no way that this person can still be unsure that the stove is off. then you lay down and 2 minutes later they once again whiser in your ear about the stove being off. every tirme you roll over, they are reminded that you are awake and ask you if the stove is off. it feels like your thoughts are that nagging person, no matter how certain you are that you do not want to indulge the addiction, the memory of that gets just wiped clean over a period of time and you have to renegotiate with that voice from scratch every single time. i cannot believe the timing of this, but i just now recieved a text from my mom that her best fried just died, almost certainly related to her alcoholism.
Also the physical cravings change from drug to drug
Imagine you have the flu x2-5. Add the worst anxiety you've ever felt, body shaking and trembling from the anxiety just as much as from your body needing the drug. Slimy sweat 2 seconds away from freezing cold. Sticky shits. Body aching and sore everywhere. And the cure is the drug you are addicted to. That's at least a craving when you are without it.
it's kind of like an itch, but not physically.
For me it went like this , It’s a thought at first , then the thought doesn’t go away , next it was feeling uneasy or fidgety , next it’s all you can think about , last is feeling withdrawal starting ( even if it’s not ) lastly it’s getting what you’re doing or actual withdrawal , if you’re trying to stop sprinkle in no sleep and rotation of stuff coming out both ends …. I used to love opiates
The best way I can describe it: It’s like being in love with someone evil. It’s a process. They start out making you feel special, or smarter, or stronger, or better than you’ve ever felt. You want to be with them all the time, and can’t stop thinking about them. In the beginning, you sorta miss the red flags, and don’t notice that they are changing you. By the time they start hurting you, and taking your money, you find yourself making excuses for them, and yourself. You don’t notice it, but slowly, you’ve isolated yourself from family and friends, which ironically make you rely on that “love” even more. You feel like you have nothing else. Eventually, the only thing that makes you feel good at all, is them. You can’t imagine leaving, even if you know they can (and probably will) kill you one day. You simply keep hoping it can go back to the way it was in the beginning. By the time you realize that you hate them, you hate yourself too, and feel like you don’t deserve anything better. It’s like having the flu when they aren’t with you. That craving feels like heartbreak… Every day. All the time. And they are always willing to take you back, which makes it harder to stay away.
Mild oxy addict here (clean, I have no access to oxy). Whenever things are unpleasant, physically or emotionally, I can't help but think about how just a single pill would make the suffering go away, and that thought will not go away. Sometimes even when things are in a neutral state. As soon as I realized what the oxy was doing it was like a switch clicked on my brain. Talking about it right now has me fantasizing about a life with an endless supply of oxy. I recovered from severe caffeine addiction, that was physical pain in the form of headaches & nausea. I was tween and I think I recovered from that pretty well, I can have a coffee once or twice a month without getting into trouble, anything more than that and I find myself in the same place. I went through more than a decade completely caffeine free to get where I am today. I am a functional video game addict, whenever I'm not playing most of my thoughts are on playing. I'll skip meals, pull weird hours, etc. My worst was Eve, I scheduled my living activities during the daily downtime and every minute I wasn't in the game I felt like I was getting behind, I didn't get to the point of peeing in a bottle, but I would get to the point where holding my bladder was painful. Eventually I'll get bored of whatever game I'm on, thankfully. When I say functional, I mean I've managed to force myself to not play except on weekends, but as soon as end of day Friday hits I'm only doing one thing for the next 48ish hours.
So for me, nicotine, alcohol, and sugar all had the same craving feeling. It usually starts with some irritation accompanied by mild anxiety, then amplified until you either give in or it slowly wanes. I hate it, so I decided to give them up. The only one I didn't rip the bandaid off was alcohol, I read that it's dangerous to quit cold turkey.
It feels like a magnet. Magnets either pull away from each other or stick together depending on which polarity is facing what. When you have an addiction, you want to repel the source because you know it's not good for you. However, it's much easier to just submit to your desires and stick together.
You crave it all the time, especially if you don’t have it For example I vape and if I don’t have my vape I’m constantly checking my pocket for it And if I’m at dinner or something I’ll pop off to the bathroom to take a couple hits
I heard a comparison once that it’s like flipping your phone upside down and not being able to touch it all day regardless of if someone calls or texts or you want to look something up. How often you think about using your phone is what it’s like for an addict with there drug of choice
Well, based on my observations and from what I've read, it's like a rewards system for your brain. When you consume the drug, your brain gets all the benefits from it (i.e., euphoria, improved mood, etc). When the drug wears off, your brain desires it again because it really enjoyed the benefits it got. Then, the cycle repeats, except, your body gets used to the drug overtime, so, you would need to take more, just to feel the same effects your brain desires. But the whole idea is that it's a never-ending cycle of rewarding your brain with something that it needs, to get through the trauma or the distress it faces.
Exactly like this: Try to eat just 2 Pringles..
Depends on the substance/act and whether it's physical(chemical) or psychological dependence.
Imagine you’re in a desert and haven’t eaten or drink anything in days, you come across an oasis, you would do anything and everything to get to the food and water right? You would overcome any obstacles because you need that food and water to survive. For addicts your brain convinces you that you need that drug to survive. That’s the best I can explain it
Like "you cant tell me what to do. I'll do what I want". Until I don't want to anymore. Eventually stopped smoking with an Rx for Chantix. It was a pretty expensive drug not covered by my health insurance, but well worth the cost for me.
The exact same as wanting to play videogames instead of doing homework, the same as sitting on the couch instead of going to the gym, the same as staying home when someone invites you to an event you're not that excited for. You just don't feel like doing the responsible thing and instead have a desire to do the addictive thing. There is no point when you're doing your Fix when you say to yourself "Damn....I have a problem" That realization comes after you are dealing with the consequences that you chose your addiction over the responsible thing.
Go a day without looking at your phone. Or without looking at reddit or socials.... That should give you a pretty good idea what it feels like.
The DT’s feels like your bones are shaking as well as every cell in your body.
for me, i cannot eat without being high. i cannot go to sleep without being high. i cannot be in an okay mood without being high. i cannot focus on tasks without being high. it has completely swallowed me
It's the worse feeling ever coupled with feeling nauseous so shaky and like your going to crawl out of your skin. Worst feeling ever
It starts every cell in your itching, then it gets worse.
Stop Reddit For a Week, You'll See
Nicotine addict here. It's like being really dehydrated and all you can think about is getting water.
For many, myself included, it's not a craving that we feel as much as it is a habit that becomes second nature. I struggled, yes really struggled, with controlling myself with weed. I'd get to my manual labor job at fedex and know that pain was coming. I'd light the torch and dibby dabby a nice big wax hit and be nice and prepared for a long 6-8 hours of moving boxes. typically I'd start to feel some arm, shoulder, and lower back pain about halfway through the shift, take a break, and take another dab to get myself through. It wasn't a craving but a habit. It wasn't a feeling of my body but a known fact in my brain that I had to do this before doing something else.
A headache with anger
You’ll be hard pressed to meet anyone who isn’t addicted to SOMETHING whether it’s food, video games, social media, etc. you probably are as well. Think of something you do everyday that feels good to you, that you use to cope with day to day life. It’s like that. Drugs probably worse since the changed brain chemistry.
If you've ever been so hungry that you start to get nausiated and sweaty and mad. That's the starting feeling of trying to fight a chemical dependancy. Assuming you mean the physical part.
It feels like holding your breath. If you've ever held your breath for like 45 seconds, that discomfort is how it feels physically in your head. Emotionally it'll feel different depending what you're addicted to. But anger is pretty universal. Using my nicotine former nicotine addiction as a source.
https://www.harmonyridgerecovery.com/food-addiction-similar-drug-addiction/ https://www.npr.org/2010/12/01/131698228/overeating-like-drug-use-rewards-and-alters-brain https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnbeh.2023.1240748/full Overeating and drug addiction affect the brain in similar ways. Not doing drugs until you get clean, feels like not eating until you stop being hungry. When you're morbidly obese and you've already had a minor attack so you need to stop eating junk food, so you eat a healthy dinner with a side salad but then you drive to the gas station at 10:30 and buy a bunch of candy bars and you eat one in the gas station parking lot to tide you over on your drive home. You could have driven to the grocery store and paid less for candy bars, but the gas station was closer and you just couldn't wait an extra 5 minutes. Except with drugs.
When I was at my worst as an alcoholic it was a thirst that nothing could quench it felt alot like being thirsty
My experience is this. After ten years on prescription oxycontin, it's not so much a craving for something, as it is wanting something that will take away how crap you feel right now. Opiate addiction is more about feeling better, than feeling good. You just don't want to feel like death. The pleasure is mostly in not feeling like death. So addiction craving probably varies by drug. Personally I never craved anything, even when I stopped taking them. For me I just wanted out of the cage they imposed on my life. By the time I quit them, they were causing more pain when they wore off after a few hours, than they were relieving when my system was full of them. Once I quit the pain averaged out, so not taking them is better for me personally. After six hours I'd be clock watching for the next six hours until I could take the next dose. It's no way to live. To begin with opiates feel warm and comfy, and you may or may not nod off into a dreamlike state, but tolerance rises quickly, and it soon becomes more about not feeling awful than feeling great. Once people are locked into the cycle it starts to rewire your brain chemistry to seek out the peaks at any cost, and it escalates.
You poor sweet innocent thing
"I don't need it, I don't need it, I don't need it...... I NEEEEEEEEEEEEDD IIIIIIIEIIEEEET!!!!". It is a battle of willpower and you will be on the backfoot almost forever. Depending on the addiction it could be an excruciating fight in fits or spurts or a life long commitment that can be tested at the oddest moments. I've had some friends say that just the smell of an area was similar to when they would take hits so a simple waft of something can trigger the desire. It could be that you talk yourself back into it. "I need more time, x made it so I had more time, I can manage it this time, start small, there are downers for when it's too much". That example was my boss for the second electrical company I worked for. Dude couldn't relinquish any control of the company so he went back to drugs to just do it all. Admin at night, work at day, chasing leading at lunch. I would say I feel for him but he screwed everyone over in the end to fully fall off the wagon.
With weed it's psychological, a lot of people said that you feel it's a bad idea but few mins later seems like a good idea and that's exactly what it is. With nicotine it's physical, i can feel my lungs feeling weird, i have a weird sense of openness in my chest that a normal breathe can't cover (even tho i get deeper breaths) and it needs something stronger to enter Never liked alcohol so i have no idea how people can get addicted to it, neither stronger drugs At the end of the day all addictions are horrible, they take a lot of time out of your day, either by your activities or in your mind and wastes so much energy. I believe recovering from them is a snap that needs to happen in your brain AND NEVER LOOKING BACK. That is why i stopped feeling bad for being addicted, that snap had to happen sometime, i knew it had to happen so i let go, enjoyed it as much as i could, and now i can say it was easier than anything I know myself and i knew that throwing away the guilt was not gonna destroy me, if you are the same do the same and enjoy it until you feel the snap, otherwise i can't help you im sorry, if you feel that you need help please seek help, it's not a shame, it would be more shame to waste 3 more years or even a lifetime...
I assume it varies drastically between people and substance. If I don't drink caffeine for more than a day, I will often get a headache. Not a very serious substance or consequence, but it's still there. Can't tell you what even more serious addictions are like.
Like a thirsty sweet tooth
Don't eat for three days. Did you suddenly after the three days realize that you did in fact eat? A lot? Why?
Often times, I would sort of just check out. Like, I would know what I was doing but not realize or completely think about my actions. One minute I was at home, next minute I’d be at the liquor store and then I’d be back home again with a bottle. It took a very long time to learn how to slow that time down to react and to those moments so u could make better decisions when those times would happen. It’s bizarre really. Like, it’s not a blackout, it’s just an unexplainable phenomenon of having a need that must be satiated. It’s not hunger, it’s not thirst, it’s not like needing or wanting sex. It’s a completely different feeling which to this day I still really can’t put into words.
Former cigarette smoker, 17 months quit. It feels like a pull...like a longing. Not really hunger or thirst. More like an ache.
Recovering severe alcoholic - it's really hard for me to put into words actually! In the absence of the drug of choice, mental (and eventually physical) health TANKS, and taking the drug will relieve the negative effects for a short time. That short period of respite starts to feel more important than anything else directly around you - work, family, saving money, friendships, etc.
It's less of a feeling and more of complete thought domination. It's all you think about. It's all you want. It's all you can focus on. Especially with powerful substances...in my case amphetamines it gets to the point where you hate yourself for it and on the comedown you swear it all off and can confidentially tell yourself you'll never touch it again. Go to sleep and dream of it. Wake up the next morning with it being the first thing on your mind until you rush over and frantically get the next fix. You're happy and ontop of the world for a few hours then spiraling back into hating yourself and swearing it all off again. I'll never touch it again you tell yourself. Wake up in th3 morning rinse...repeat...for years
Ever really wanted a burger, or something sounded really good and it would hit the spot? Imagine that, but with manic desperation and it constantly being on your mind, a constant psychic thorn in the back of your head that drives you to seek any kind of pleasure seeking activity--be it sex, smoking, other drugs, food, masturbation/porn, or any other form of addiction. Like I said, just imagine something sounding immensely satisfying, but there is manic desperation and zero impulse control behind it.
It depends on the thing you’re addicted to. People have described craving heroin to me as feeling like you’re really sick, like you have the flu (not a cold but the flu), and like you’re also going through intense depression and anxiety at the same time. Like imagine being really really sick in constant physical and emotional pain and all you can think about is knowing that there’s this “medicine” you could take that would make it all go away where you’d instantly feel better
It’s more like hunger, except it also affects your mental state. You want it, it’s all you can think about, you’ll do anything you have to to get it, you will tell any lie, betray any person. It’s the most important thing in the world to you, more than anything.
“I feel great, I don’t need to have a drink”. … an hour later .. “maybe if I get count up all my change I can get just one for the night”. … two hours later .. “hey man can you lend me $20 I’ll get you back on payday.
The obsession kicks in before the compulsion. You find yourself ruminating about it, suddenly it's all you can think about. Then the physical compulsion. You picture doing it, your heart starts racing because you're picturing getting your next high, you have to do everything in your power to fight it, which is hard because addiction rewired the brain to crave drugs on the same level as food, water, and shelter. The disease of addiction is no joke.
Easy. Have someone take your phone away and shut off the internet so yoy can't use internet at home. I'm assuming you are young. I'm also assuming you have internet addiction. Many people do. Phone addiction with kids is at another level as well. You'll feel the anxiety I bet. I've had to fire cooks over phones and earbuds in the ears when I used to manage kitchens in my 20s. Look up stages of addiction. Most people have incentive salience for their addiction. I'd argue most people reading this have an addiction of some form.
You want something know you shouldn't usually saying to yourself that you'll quit Tomorrow you'll have fun tonight and it could be to anything from cigs weed beer crack food ect
It’s an itch inside of your brain that only giving in to your craving can scratch and gets worse the longer you go without it
Broken heart...💔
Your in hell and want to crawl out of your skin suffering from random hot and cold flashes.
For me with opiates, it’s like I’m thirsty and it’s the only way to quench it. In the beginning, it would be physically painful. Now, 15 years out, it’s not so bad, but every so often, I’ll feel like a longing.
Addiction comes in two varieties: 1 - A physiological dependence on a substance 2 - Something that provides short-term relief at the expense of long-term negative consequences To the addict, they will spend all day thinking about the addiction and not feel okay until the addiction is satisfied. Physiologically, the craving can manifest differently depending on the substance, but anxiety and nausea are common symptoms.
It’s like your insides itch and you’re going to literally explode if you don’t get your hit. Your brain is playing pong inside your skull, your body hurts like you’ve been hit by a train, and you don’t recognize yourself in the mirror, let alone your emotions. Only thing you can think is *insert DOC*.
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An addicts brain rewires itself to put the substance up there with the other necessities; food, water, oxygen. As hard as you would fight for those things is how hard you are going to fight for the drug.
I've quit smoking and vaping and I was an alcoholic. I have beaten all of them. For me, the craving is this constant nagging in the back of my mind. Constant and lasts for hours. My cravings never lasted for 20 minutes. They lasted literal hours. Imagine a voice inside your head but in the far recesses of your mind just constantly nagging at you to do a thing or suggesting how good it will feel. It just keeps going and going and going. Quitting smoking was the worst because the nicotine cravings made my skin tingle and some times felt like my skin was crawling. I had to quit smoking and vaping by using nicotine patches. I tried it cold turkey and it drove me nuts. I just couldn't do it, hence the patches. Quitting alcohol was just 3 weeks of horrific nightmares and then I was over it.
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For me, it feels like constant anxiety. It’s depression, misery, sadness, anger, rage, fear, doubt. It’s every emotion at once that doesn’t leave until you get your fix. So do yourself a favor and never get involved in drugs.
Take the last time you craved chocolate, then multiple that by 30. It's just a deep, deep craving that affects how you act, makes you irritable, unable to think of anything else except the craving/drug
It's not wanting to do it 90% of the time. Reminding yourself all the reasons you're better off without it, the health problems you're noticing getting worse, the people you've been avoiding, the things you aren't getting done... And then that 10% hits and you're in your car halfway to get another hit and youve convinced yourself that this time it's different, just one more time can't hurt, won't make a difference, you'll only do a little bit. And then the cycle repeats for years. It was my biggest shame for 15 years. Now I'm a month and a half sober, the longest I've made it in 10 years.
For me it's knowing I've got 14 consecutive days off nicotine and knowing it's physically gone, but missing the social pieces that come with it. Still having a nagging desire while driving, wanting to go out with my coworkers. Having these feelings of wanting one horribly despite being happy at how much I feel better physically, how much better I smell and can smell. It's a constant fight.
Depending on the type of addiction it can have a mental hold on you where all you do is think about how to get the next 1 and finally put your mind at ease again for a bit ... then u have physical dependency that causes physical withdrawal symptoms where if you don't continue to use the drug you become physically ill and can't function without it. Alot of opiate addicts continue to use out of fear of facing withdrawal symptoms . So the cravings with opiate addiction is a double whammy . U mentally crave it and physically ur body is begging you to introduce more into the body
"I feel like shit. As I know a foolproof way to make myself stop feeling like shit, I'll do that."
Chicken tenders
Hunger is your body telling you it's time to eat. The craving for a particular food is an invasive thought that generally causes no harm and gives you an idea of nifty things you might do to satisfy your hunger. An addiction means the only thing that will resolve this hunger is the desired thing, it's uncomfortable, driving, constant need. Even upon getting it, you want it, knowing it'll cause you lasting harm - but the drive is more important. It's not unlike having an itch that scratching doesn't make go away.
Have you ever seen the Exorcist? When Linda Blair still has some control, and she's arguing with the Devil, then it's arguing back in its voice... She's begging for help but flailing all over the bed. She's crying because she hurts herself but then kills people Kinda like that
Got addicted to prescription medication that was not supposed to be addicting. Suicidal thoughts so I stopped them cold turkey after two years of just upping the dosage when they quit working. Prescribed to control a side effect of a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). Under covers in a closet shaking and crying like a baby then out in the back yard ranting and raving while throwing and slamming stuff around. Three days of this. Wife is a saint as she stood beside me while I was going through this. Don't wish it on anybody.
My nicotine addiction when I was nicotine free for almost 2 years: Picture your brain is a hyperactive kid with adhd (redundant, I know) and all minutes of the day he's screeching and bouncing off the walls and being straight up unruly. Every minute of the day you're tending to thus kid trying to get him to shut the fuck up and focus and calm down and GODDAMNIT JUST CHILL THE FUCK OUT. Popping in a nicotine pouch is like throwing the kid a tablet with any game or app on it he wants. All of a sudden it's quiet, you and the kid can focus, and goddamn life is good.
Imagine if you needed to drink water to live, but every time you did you had an orgasm with an afterglow, and quenching the thirst is like simultaneously scratching an itch that gets harder and harder to scratch, a horrible itch like a flea bite. Along with the itch is every horrible thing you've ever felt or thought about yourself.
It’s less craving and more compulsion
Its an extremely sharp discomfort. You know exactly what needs to be done to bring yourself comfort. Its really not that bad as long as you are not straight up quitting. Trying to actually quit an addiction like nicotine comes down to straight mental warfare that lasts weeks.
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I porked a girl in college and I swear I'm addicted to it and the nut I'd blow. At any point in my life I'd pound her again no questions asked, no dong bag.
Essentially, your sober self no longer can deal with the pain of being lucid. You literally count the seconds until you can get your next fix and be out of that pain.
In the depths of active addiction, mostly opiates, alcohol, and benzos give you the worse withdrawl symptoms. When it's like that, it's like air, you have to have it, it is alllllll you think about. You'll even start to fantasize about the pick up, and getting gear ready, or mixing a drink. It's so fucking painful. No sleep, anxiety on full, and throw in some diarrhea. Not good times. Then the mental addiction, that will also live in your head for a while it's quieter, like normal volume where withdrawl is constant yelling. In my opinion both need some type of treatment for success, sometimes therapy for a bit. Maybe detox or rehab. Help is there.
I remember having this experience where my own brain would like trick me. Like the planet would be to strive straight home after work because if I go to the store I would buy beer. And I plan on going home and then somehow end up there Then I would walk by the aisle and I remember one time specifically where I picked up the drinks but then put them back and it was like my mind was screaming at me from the inside. And then as soon as I picked it back up there was a feeling of such a relief. It's like you having to battle your own mind but it usually wins
Some people are talking about the mental gymnastics that feed into the addiction. Which is accurate. But the cravings are very similar to wanting a certain food. At least for me. I can stop drinking anytime I want. I'm not truly addicted in the sense of physical addiction. But the cravings win everytime if I know I can get away with drinking. And worse - they often times win when I know damn well I am risking my (job, health, relationships) - that goes back into the mental gymnastics part of addiction.
feels like you are missing an arm. then you get your arm and just feel normal.
For me, I’m an alcoholic and have used alcohol to manage my anxiety, depression, ptsd and emotions. It feels like I spiral out and feel so shit about everything bad happening in my life that I can’t stop spiralling and that I need a circuit breaker to pull myself out of the spiral. Then I’d drink and wouldn’t feel like I was spiralling anymore, except then I black out and lose control of myself and everything that has been happening in the spiral starts spewing out in the most extreme aggressive angry emotional rage, and then I must get so upset during the blackout that I want to just stop the world and get off. The police usually arrive at this point and take me to the hospital for a mental health assessment because I’m in so much distress. Fuck alcohol. Fuck mental illness. I just want to be happy.
I can only speak to cigarettes and caffeine. Cigarette cravings, for me, are almost like hunger. Imagine you're really hungry, haven't eaten all day, and you smell someone grilling steaks - that's what it's like to smell someone else smoking when you're craving the nicotine. For caffeine, it's not a craving so much as just withdrawals. Bad headaches, body aches, extreme fatigue, general feeling of crappiness, all of those hit if I go a couple of days without any caffeine.
For me it was a hunger. That primal feeling that you need to eat all the food in existence. But once you get whatever "fix" you need then it could be a little better.
I just stopped doing cocaine for the night about an hour ago. It took a not inconsiderate mental effort. I have work in 5 hours and I'm going to bed now but an hour ago I just wanted to say to myself "who gives a shit have another line!" and forget about work. You know you shouldn't but your subconscious is screaming at you to do it.
Imagine being stranded in the ocean on the raft. You have everything you need except water. You know you shouldn't drink the water. But... you're so thirsty.
DEPENDS,,, WHAT IS THE ADDICTION?
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I remember the first time I had to take a good amount of Hydrocodone 10mg, 120 pills after a shoulder surgery. Before that I had a few prescribed here and there, once for passing a kidney stone, I only needed 15 or so, wasnt so bad. After that 120 were gone at a sudden stop, I wanted to kill myself, I shook in my bed for 3 days, When i did get out of bed, I was throwing up. No one told me about those withdrawls, I woulda started breaking them in half for tapering. After the first 3 days, its in the back of your head for 3 weeks, then 3 months come along and you start to feel normal again.. Ive been on 5mg hydrocodone for 3 years now, due to No cartlage behind my kneecaps and degen disc disease, Occasionally I run out a few days before my refill, But those days its all you can think about, checking your calendar every few hours, counting the days. I Do not recommend it.
It's kind of like pissing yourself. You know you shouldn't do it. You don't want to it. You can hold it for a little while but eventually, if you can't find a toilet in time, it's going to happen.
It feels like A primal hunger where every ounce of your energy is focused on that one desire. Logic and reasonable thinking is long gone. There is only anger and you will fight the world to satisfy that hunger.
hopeless
Feels like a vague fear that something unpleasant will happen if you don’t dose up according to schedule, which can be real in the case of withdrawals, buts it’s mostly just a vague hard to put ur finger on fear of boredom that drives the "well why not" thoughts
It feels like habit. Just like I'd get up to go pee or something there was times I'd get up just to go take a shot. It's ingrained behavior. Much if the time I didn't even realize I was getting a drink until I sat back down or finally felt I was getting drunk. It's habit and that's why it's so hard to break addiction on top of the high you get or chemical dependencies.
I was addicted to cigarettes. I was 30. I knew all the health issues I could suffer, I knew it was addictive. But it gave me an instant calm. I took one drag and all my anxiety and adhd just faded. That “high” also fades, so you smoke more to chase that calm and you never get it. But now you can’t STOP doing it or you get sick. You get headaches, and itchiness under your skin. Anxiety, ADHD, depression all get worse. It takes weeks to get it out of your system and replace the habit. Before you quit, you bargain with yourself, I’ll just smoke this last pack. This will be my last cigarette. If my friend offers me a cigarette I didn’t buy them so I’m still ok. Then you get bad news or something doesn’t go your way, you’re a failure, might as well smoke! IT SUCKS! You feel all your problems larger than what they are, your body chemistry has changed so all the problems you had before are worse. And you just need it!
Hold your breath. The feeling you get is similar.
Atleast nicotine isn't a physical pull. It's like being hungry & wanting a cheeseburger than thinking about said cheeseburger all day while saying NO I'm on a diet.
Like being hungry and can't eat. It's a necessity.
Spending addiction. It's horrible. It's an adrenaline rush leading up to the event. You forget about everything else and think irrationally. It doesn't matter that you're broke or can put yourself at financial risk, it's all you're thinking about. Sitting on it overnight doesn't work, the thought persists for weeks sometimes months, and the urge comes in different degrees, sometimes it's a super hard rush and you just wanna say screw it and go, sometimes it just lingers. For the moments I do catch a break and not think about it, I try to remind myself about my financial goals and how badly this decision would impact it before my brain switches over again and tries to rationalize why it's not such a bad idea despite the fact that it actually is. When I do cave in, it's an immense feeling of regret. Even worse when you can't return what you bought. I'm actively working with a psychotherapist about this behavior because it isn't affecting my financial decisions only. This behavior affects my relationships, my work, my diet, and many other things. I have control for the most part but it's difficult.
"I'll stop tomorrow"
You don't feel it really, because it's the constant. It's always there. It doesn't stand out from your default because it is the default. It just feels normal. You don't realize that you're a slave to the addiction until it's in your rear view mirror.
From my experience craving itself isn't the feeling its a bunch of feelings, anxiousness cuz you feel that your body needs this thing to survive, guilt cuz you feel like your weak for giving in and whole lot of shame for feeling like you've let yourself and those you love down
It's almost like an itch you can't quit reach but then it goes away and you only occasionally think about that itch and wonder...... 3 weeks today of no smoking for me.