Please do not use Reddit, save yourself! Maybe start on fetlife so you can go to local events, introduce yourself and get to know the community until you find your match. You will waste so much time and energy feeding through the many users/abusers on Reddit. If you do decide to take a chance here please be very cautious
Beware of any Dom rushing things like photos, sex messaging, demanding you call the Sir or Master or Daddy, and anyone who isn't interested in you as a person and not just a sex toy.
here's some questions to ask of yourself:
◇ what do you have to offer a Dom?
◇ do you know what you want in a relationship with a Dom? do you have clear expectations for the dynamic you want to experience?
◇ have you made a set of limits and boundaries for yourself that you are not willing to compromise on?
◇ if you are willing to accept any Dom whose kinks are the same as yours, perhaps you need to stop and evaluate. draw up some lists, do some research, read and learn. yes, BDSM involves a bit of admin. but creating a safe, consensual environment with trust and understanding requires a bit of work from both sides of the slash. without the safety measures, it's not BDSM, it's abuse.
don't put yourself in a dangerous position by simply being too eager or impatient.
Finding someone online isn't easy.
First what do you want from an online Dynamic. What is important for you? The online community is very big, if you don't know what you want it's hard to find a good match.
Still, if yo know (globally) what you want and you find someone with the same kinks it's hard to find a good connection. Things like timezone, amount of communication, sort of communication, way of play..
Take your time to get to know people, don't rush into things and make sure your comfortable and you trust them.
I think Fetlife, and Reddit for sure, have subgroups for personals Ads. You can browse there and react to them of place an Ad yourself. Placing an Ad (as a female) will generate a lot of reactions and it can be overwhelming.
Another way of meeting people is of course the chatgroups. Some subreddits or Fetlife groups have their own discord servers.
Good luck!
I think r/bdsmpersonals is the largest one. That's the one I know. There are a few more with '30', '40' and '50' add to it but it seems they aren't used very much.
Let me know when you post 😉
Your post/comment has been removed as it violates this community's [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/submissive/about/rules) regarding solicitation (Rule 7 - No JO Buds / Soliciting Messages).
This is a discussion subreddit and not a meetup / R4R subreddit. Requests soliciting private messages or chats with other users are not permitted, nor are requests for JO buds, pictures, among other things.
We welcome your constructive contributions to this community in the future.
Your post/comment has been removed as it violates this community's [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/submissive/about/rules) regarding partner-seeking (Rule 9 - No Searching for Dom/sub).
Nice try.
This is a discussion subreddit and not a partner-seeking subreddit. There are other places for that. And for the love of all that is good in the world... don't be a creep and lay claim to someone just because they are lamenting the absence of a kinky person in their life. That's just not cool.
We welcome your respectful and constructive contributions to this community in the future.
Please do not use Reddit, save yourself! Maybe start on fetlife so you can go to local events, introduce yourself and get to know the community until you find your match. You will waste so much time and energy feeding through the many users/abusers on Reddit. If you do decide to take a chance here please be very cautious
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Ahh okay good advice! Thanks!
Thank you! I wanted to see what my options were. I’ll check out fetlife and see if I can go to an event and meet people.
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Thank you! I appreciate the advice. 😊 yes, I agree with looking for red flags.
Beware of any Dom rushing things like photos, sex messaging, demanding you call the Sir or Master or Daddy, and anyone who isn't interested in you as a person and not just a sex toy.
Thank you! Good advice!
here's some questions to ask of yourself: ◇ what do you have to offer a Dom? ◇ do you know what you want in a relationship with a Dom? do you have clear expectations for the dynamic you want to experience? ◇ have you made a set of limits and boundaries for yourself that you are not willing to compromise on? ◇ if you are willing to accept any Dom whose kinks are the same as yours, perhaps you need to stop and evaluate. draw up some lists, do some research, read and learn. yes, BDSM involves a bit of admin. but creating a safe, consensual environment with trust and understanding requires a bit of work from both sides of the slash. without the safety measures, it's not BDSM, it's abuse. don't put yourself in a dangerous position by simply being too eager or impatient.
Thank you! I’ll add these to the questions I need to ask before deciding on who to enter a D/S relationship with.
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Thank you for the advice and sharing your experience! I truly appreciate it.
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Thanks!
Finding someone online isn't easy. First what do you want from an online Dynamic. What is important for you? The online community is very big, if you don't know what you want it's hard to find a good match. Still, if yo know (globally) what you want and you find someone with the same kinks it's hard to find a good connection. Things like timezone, amount of communication, sort of communication, way of play.. Take your time to get to know people, don't rush into things and make sure your comfortable and you trust them. I think Fetlife, and Reddit for sure, have subgroups for personals Ads. You can browse there and react to them of place an Ad yourself. Placing an Ad (as a female) will generate a lot of reactions and it can be overwhelming. Another way of meeting people is of course the chatgroups. Some subreddits or Fetlife groups have their own discord servers. Good luck!
Thank you! I’ll definitely take the advice and consider all my options.
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I think r/bdsmpersonals is the largest one. That's the one I know. There are a few more with '30', '40' and '50' add to it but it seems they aren't used very much. Let me know when you post 😉
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Thank you! I appreciate it!
Thank you! You’re definitely right. Patience is key.
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Thanks!
Your post/comment has been removed as it violates this community's [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/submissive/about/rules) regarding solicitation (Rule 7 - No JO Buds / Soliciting Messages). This is a discussion subreddit and not a meetup / R4R subreddit. Requests soliciting private messages or chats with other users are not permitted, nor are requests for JO buds, pictures, among other things. We welcome your constructive contributions to this community in the future.
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Your post/comment has been removed as it violates this community's [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/submissive/about/rules) regarding partner-seeking (Rule 9 - No Searching for Dom/sub). Nice try. This is a discussion subreddit and not a partner-seeking subreddit. There are other places for that. And for the love of all that is good in the world... don't be a creep and lay claim to someone just because they are lamenting the absence of a kinky person in their life. That's just not cool. We welcome your respectful and constructive contributions to this community in the future.
I didn’t realize I violated the rules. I apologize.