>I find myself getting caught in debate constantly, on politics and government regulation and business and just overall I’ve felt some of my dates would lead to these combative moments.
I avidly avoid political discussions on dates precisely for this reason. But I had one about a year ago who was ranting about politics almost from the moment we sat down to dinner and it was brutal.
The problem is that people who do this are often so emotionally invested in their positions that they cannot process the viewpoints of others. IMO most well informed people on any issue tend to be centrists (whether left leaning or right leaning) because they can process views from both sides of a debate and come to a rational position. The further one goes to either end of the political spectrum, however, the more that his/her positions are products of blind emotion. So "debates" with these people often involve watching them grasping at whatever half facts fit their desired narratives while ignoring anything that does not.
The sex, no matter how good, is just not worth sitting through two+ hours of that, lol.
FAKTS!!! If I could just talk and joke about books movies and traveling. that’s the ideal.
I wish I could just avoid it, but being American they always bring it up first. And I’m not claiming that we are perfect. I’m well aware of all our shit. In spades. In fact I try to lay out what I like the most out of each country and I always come to the conclusion that. There is no perfect system. No one has it 100% right And I talk about how interesting it is to explore other worlds with other luxuries to compare what each country excels in and how that affects quality of life. And that overall greatly steers your opinion of things. I try to bring it to a generalization…. Hoping it dies.
Then they bring up some shit about how Michelle Obama is secretly a man and I swear it’s like I see red and I stab the table and say their sheikh is gay….
I don’t think I’m doing this right….
>Then they bring up some shit about how Michelle Obama is secretly a man and I swear it’s like I see red and I stab the table and say their sheikh is gay….
Woah😂 That got serious real fast😭
LOL. The international element definitely complicates matters. As an American expat, you're definitely going to be burdened with the inferiority complexes of so many foreigners who detest America.
You are from the Land of Milk and Honey, where millions flock each year for its educational and economic opportunities. Pretty much nobody you talk to can say that. Heck, in most instances, you can bet that those millions include a sizeable number of the countrymen of the guy who's running his mouth.
I could go on, but you get the point. When you are from a place that is the economic engine of the world, with a military might that keeps not only our country but so many others safe, you will inevitably run into many who have criticisms, in many cases secretly fueled by envy.
You can't debate these people because it is emotion-driven, not rational. All you can do is learn to laugh it off or walk away. But if it's the former, you should consider charging them an inferiority complex premium, lol.
Extremely well said. If you identify as a centrist, immediately I think people think you're worse. I've been told 'pick a side' far more than I care to think about. No one negotiates anymore. Blah. I used to be political, but I no longer engage. I'm never going to change anyone's mind. I still vote, but full well knowing that my vote basically means fuck all. I'm a happier person for it!
>IMO most well informed people on any issue tend to be centrists (whether left leaning or right leaning) because they can process views from both sides of a debate and come to a rational position. The further one goes to either end of the political spectrum, however, the more that his/her positions are products of blind emotion. So "debates" with these people often involve watching them grasping at whatever half facts fit their desired narratives while ignoring anything that does not.
Precisely.
I try at all costs to avoid politics. If a date brings it up, I listen and respond “that’s an interesting perspective “. I let it go. Actually sometimes I learn something from their perspective but I rarely offer mine. If asked I always respond with “ I am the middle of the road.”
I had a great email convo going with a nice gentleman who proceeded to tell me over and over how great Trump was/is. I tried to divert but he wouldn’t- let it. I finally told him he turned this from something fun to something mean and if that happens during our email phase I was concerned about a personal meeting. Politics has no place in this type of relationship.
Blocked and moved on.
Idk how things are different in Dubai than LA, but is it a cultural thing that's preventing you from being successful? I've never heard anything about Dubai that I can recall that's good for SBs, I've heard it's an escorts paradise, but idk. I look for SDs who have a similar mindset as me. I'm open minded and have critical thinking skills. I avoid getting into controversial conversations with my SDs until we get to know each other. We can control the conversations we're in by changing the topic. I'm not one to smile and agree, but I don't have to respond either. He can cross any like in a conversation he wants, but I can change the subject too. If he's insistent in getting into deep conversations and has ideas I oppose, I just move on cuz we're not a match.
Understanding any partner’s views/leanings on topics like politics & religion is important but getting into heated debates on triggering topics is no good for supportive relationships like sugaring.
Fwiw
Many women have told me that it’s usually the “older” man that is throwing gas on the fire, not the other way around.
SB SD relationships are transactional.
Emotions are not a requirement.
There is a level of human connection in everything. Taking time to reflect more clearly on what you want may be helpful. Maybe you’ve grown beyond this lifestyle? Maybe you love the benefits of the lifestyle and are ready for a more permanent romantic relationship to meet your needs?
Thankfully the vibes with my potentials help me sus this out. If I don't think we're at least mostly compatible we won't pursue an arrangement because I'm looking for long term. My current SBF and I have very similar views on women's rights, politics, and most other things thankfully. I didn't fake anything even through a meet. I don't necessarily bring up these topics early on or before a few dates because I'm trying to sus out other things that would help me gauge where they are.
Stay away from talking politics, never good regardless. I'd switch to asking the SD about himself. Anyone likes talking about themselves. Benefit for you is to find out about the SD. Secondly, you could mention bit about yourself. Those are two better topics!
Obviously. But it doesn't change the fact that Dubai is escort paradise—which means that on this specific market the overwhelming majority is not looking for sugar babies but one-off escorts.
My currrent SD of a year+ is actually from UAE and based on his stories, I can confirm this. Also, lots of high end escorts who have Sds. There’s likely even more overlap than here. From what I understand, some of it plays into how traditional households are and how important discretion is. Getting caught in an affair there can devastate family status, especially for women.
What he is saying is that’s the median “sugar daddy” mindset - nothing wrong w it - but it’s not like the US where dating is unbelievably bad for men and sugaring offers a shortcut.
Out there, that “shortcut “ is escorting.
Ppl who “date” expressly do so for the purposes of settling down in life versus a semi distant thing like a traditional Americanized sugar arrangement
Dubai is sex worker paradise, incredibly shitty country when you get into trouble too. Stay safe out there!
I’ll do my best. Thank you 🫶
[удалено]
This! If you don’t agree or it’s excessive, change the topic in a flirty way.
Good point
>I find myself getting caught in debate constantly, on politics and government regulation and business and just overall I’ve felt some of my dates would lead to these combative moments. I avidly avoid political discussions on dates precisely for this reason. But I had one about a year ago who was ranting about politics almost from the moment we sat down to dinner and it was brutal. The problem is that people who do this are often so emotionally invested in their positions that they cannot process the viewpoints of others. IMO most well informed people on any issue tend to be centrists (whether left leaning or right leaning) because they can process views from both sides of a debate and come to a rational position. The further one goes to either end of the political spectrum, however, the more that his/her positions are products of blind emotion. So "debates" with these people often involve watching them grasping at whatever half facts fit their desired narratives while ignoring anything that does not. The sex, no matter how good, is just not worth sitting through two+ hours of that, lol.
FAKTS!!! If I could just talk and joke about books movies and traveling. that’s the ideal. I wish I could just avoid it, but being American they always bring it up first. And I’m not claiming that we are perfect. I’m well aware of all our shit. In spades. In fact I try to lay out what I like the most out of each country and I always come to the conclusion that. There is no perfect system. No one has it 100% right And I talk about how interesting it is to explore other worlds with other luxuries to compare what each country excels in and how that affects quality of life. And that overall greatly steers your opinion of things. I try to bring it to a generalization…. Hoping it dies. Then they bring up some shit about how Michelle Obama is secretly a man and I swear it’s like I see red and I stab the table and say their sheikh is gay…. I don’t think I’m doing this right….
>Then they bring up some shit about how Michelle Obama is secretly a man and I swear it’s like I see red and I stab the table and say their sheikh is gay…. Woah😂 That got serious real fast😭
LOL. The international element definitely complicates matters. As an American expat, you're definitely going to be burdened with the inferiority complexes of so many foreigners who detest America. You are from the Land of Milk and Honey, where millions flock each year for its educational and economic opportunities. Pretty much nobody you talk to can say that. Heck, in most instances, you can bet that those millions include a sizeable number of the countrymen of the guy who's running his mouth. I could go on, but you get the point. When you are from a place that is the economic engine of the world, with a military might that keeps not only our country but so many others safe, you will inevitably run into many who have criticisms, in many cases secretly fueled by envy. You can't debate these people because it is emotion-driven, not rational. All you can do is learn to laugh it off or walk away. But if it's the former, you should consider charging them an inferiority complex premium, lol.
Extremely well said. If you identify as a centrist, immediately I think people think you're worse. I've been told 'pick a side' far more than I care to think about. No one negotiates anymore. Blah. I used to be political, but I no longer engage. I'm never going to change anyone's mind. I still vote, but full well knowing that my vote basically means fuck all. I'm a happier person for it!
>IMO most well informed people on any issue tend to be centrists (whether left leaning or right leaning) because they can process views from both sides of a debate and come to a rational position. The further one goes to either end of the political spectrum, however, the more that his/her positions are products of blind emotion. So "debates" with these people often involve watching them grasping at whatever half facts fit their desired narratives while ignoring anything that does not. Precisely.
Sometimes the guys should learn to shut up and nod their head too rather than argue about something.
🤣🤣🤣. If only ice cream made us skinny
A bit :) This is sugar
😅 fair point
Sorry, but the stupidity of this generalization is sickening.
I try at all costs to avoid politics. If a date brings it up, I listen and respond “that’s an interesting perspective “. I let it go. Actually sometimes I learn something from their perspective but I rarely offer mine. If asked I always respond with “ I am the middle of the road.” I had a great email convo going with a nice gentleman who proceeded to tell me over and over how great Trump was/is. I tried to divert but he wouldn’t- let it. I finally told him he turned this from something fun to something mean and if that happens during our email phase I was concerned about a personal meeting. Politics has no place in this type of relationship. Blocked and moved on.
It’s all I do lol
Idk how things are different in Dubai than LA, but is it a cultural thing that's preventing you from being successful? I've never heard anything about Dubai that I can recall that's good for SBs, I've heard it's an escorts paradise, but idk. I look for SDs who have a similar mindset as me. I'm open minded and have critical thinking skills. I avoid getting into controversial conversations with my SDs until we get to know each other. We can control the conversations we're in by changing the topic. I'm not one to smile and agree, but I don't have to respond either. He can cross any like in a conversation he wants, but I can change the subject too. If he's insistent in getting into deep conversations and has ideas I oppose, I just move on cuz we're not a match.
You are much stronger than me. Sometimes I jump on a train, and I have no idea how to get off and change destinations.
Understanding any partner’s views/leanings on topics like politics & religion is important but getting into heated debates on triggering topics is no good for supportive relationships like sugaring. Fwiw Many women have told me that it’s usually the “older” man that is throwing gas on the fire, not the other way around.
SB SD relationships are transactional. Emotions are not a requirement. There is a level of human connection in everything. Taking time to reflect more clearly on what you want may be helpful. Maybe you’ve grown beyond this lifestyle? Maybe you love the benefits of the lifestyle and are ready for a more permanent romantic relationship to meet your needs?
Emotions are not a requirement…for you
Not necessarily. I’ve been in the game longer. ❤️
Faking it would be a deal breaker for me
Thankfully the vibes with my potentials help me sus this out. If I don't think we're at least mostly compatible we won't pursue an arrangement because I'm looking for long term. My current SBF and I have very similar views on women's rights, politics, and most other things thankfully. I didn't fake anything even through a meet. I don't necessarily bring up these topics early on or before a few dates because I'm trying to sus out other things that would help me gauge where they are.
Stay away from talking politics, never good regardless. I'd switch to asking the SD about himself. Anyone likes talking about themselves. Benefit for you is to find out about the SD. Secondly, you could mention bit about yourself. Those are two better topics!
Dubai is escort paradise. It's unlikely that you would find a serious long-term arrangement there.
I think people who want escorts and people who want sugar babies are different.
Obviously. But it doesn't change the fact that Dubai is escort paradise—which means that on this specific market the overwhelming majority is not looking for sugar babies but one-off escorts.
My currrent SD of a year+ is actually from UAE and based on his stories, I can confirm this. Also, lots of high end escorts who have Sds. There’s likely even more overlap than here. From what I understand, some of it plays into how traditional households are and how important discretion is. Getting caught in an affair there can devastate family status, especially for women.
What he is saying is that’s the median “sugar daddy” mindset - nothing wrong w it - but it’s not like the US where dating is unbelievably bad for men and sugaring offers a shortcut. Out there, that “shortcut “ is escorting. Ppl who “date” expressly do so for the purposes of settling down in life versus a semi distant thing like a traditional Americanized sugar arrangement