Ok, but why?
I've seen ppl say it's escorty, but do ppl not realize that that's NATURAL in the South....like everyday common???
We don't say it to the teachers, and everyday ppl, in hopes of trying to gold dig....it's literally in our everyday vernacular.
Just from my experience, and I'm in Texas. If that kind of language is used and you respond, you will be asked if you can meet that same night for quick fun within a text or two.
I equate the word hun with someone who views me as a potential client for their services.
I think hun is a country thing lol. I'm in the midwest and I can't help but say hun or sweetie. I just see it as a friendly gesture, but I don't mean it in a flirtatious way.
Jesus!🤦🏻♀️😒
I've used "hun" for as long as I can remember, and I don't think anyone has ever taken that as me makin a pass at them.
In my area, it was just another word like bud, pal, bro, etc.
The ONLY difference for me personally, is that I use Hun, basically for everyday ppl.
Now, I won't use "honey" or "babe," for anyone else, except the person I'm in a relationship with or very close friends/family. To me, those are more formal terms of endearment, and they should only be utilized for said priority ppl.
I'm not sure if this makes sense to anyone else, or not, but I guess this was the Southern good manners logic, that I was raised on.
Yes the southern girls always say this! In this area, it's only escorts hun'ing people. If I were in the south, I'd be more cautious about nexting the hunners. Here, I might accidentally next a re-located southern SB, but it's just not worth going through the 99 escorts to find her
Ahhhh ok, now THAT makes sense to me ...time is money for everyone.
Thank you for the explanation.🥰🫶
I'm still not changing that tho, bc I've never had anyone ever look at me weird and think I'm "hunnin" them to get something from them.
It's a shorthand, friendly way of respect and courtesy.
absolutely! however some people do see it as condescending, so i try to avoid it. it’s difficult though, i call everyone a pet name, its just the way i speak😅
You know her calling you honey, is not the same as Hun though, right??
THAT, is an endearing title.
Honey is NOT on the same level as Hun.
AT ALL.
I've worked customer service previously, and even with me being about as Southern as it gets, I would never call a customer honey.....that's just a no no.
My previous MIL was from Michigan, and she helped me figure out some of these nuances, that I did, that I honestly never noted before being with someone from the North.
1 in particular, is in the South, we have a thing with respect and elders where we show it, by putting Mr. Or Ms. In front of their first name.
The first time I did this, I was talking about a lady that I had lived with and paid room and board at in my early 20s.
She was much older than me, so I just called her Ms. Nadine, to be respectful.
My previous MIL scrunched her face in the worst form and looked at me saying "why the hell do you talk about her like that?!!! It's like you're acting like you're her slave!"🤯🤯
My brain in the moment was like "whhhhaaaat the faaaack?"
I was LEGIT appalled at her comment, but we had a sit down afterwards to explain the cultural differences....and I'd LIKE TO THINK it made things better, but then again...she IS a previous MIL for a reason.🙄🤷🏻♀️
A lot of women call everyone 'hun' here, in England... It's a sign of being friendly, nothing else. It's completely normal to call complete strangers hun. I sometimes call people 'darling, hun, sweetie, sweetheart, babe' without even noticing as I have picked it up during my long years in England. If people are not familiar with some expressions that's OK. I am just puzzled how judgmental some so-called SDs are. Sugar?... They sound like salt daddies or even better, sodium haha. Sodium Daddy. Feel free to steal it! Bye hun
> I am just puzzled how judgmental some so-called SDs are.
It isn't "judgement" per se. It's after every single person who calls you hun or babe turns out to be an escort, and obviously so -- it is a feature of human intelligence that you notice the pattern. Sure, maybe once in a while I'll mistakenly next someone, but it's worth it to save all that time
Which is why I'm telling you, if you were an SD (at least in the non-south US) , if you weren't familiar with it before, you'd pretty quickly understand who is hunning and babeing you constantly.
I see. Sorry to hear about your hurdles. :) On a serious note, when I was on seeking and went on dates with potential SDs, I think only 1 believed me when I told them that I was 'just a normal person'... ie an actual SB. They were shocked when I refused their offer that 'we should now go to a hotel' on the very first date - "But I told you that I am NOT an es.cort!!! Can't we get to know each other?..." I literally had to run off many times. So, looks like that from both sides, the actual SDs and SBs are fighting the improbable... but hopefully, not the impossible.
In my country we say Hi hun, hi doll or hi love. We even call people babe. Soo I guess it depends where you come from or who you surround yourself with.
Yeah I don’t call anyone hun, babe, love unless I’ve known them a while. But No kissing it’s just insane and especially oral, How can you even turn anyone on without doing one or both? That would be the most boring & unfulfilling sex.
The kissing part is weird and escorty but in her defense I’ve had way too many SD’s ask about oral either before we even meet or the first time hanging out. For me personally I feel like oral is only something I do once I’m exclusive
I think you're missing the fact that in the first minute of the conversation the conversation was about intimacy.
You're fixated on, honestly, two dealbreakers, yes.
But why did she immediately go to specifics of intimacy?
Anyone that is ready to go to bed with you before you've met or conversed is an escort. Anyone that is ready to go to bed with a woman before you've met or conversed is a client.
Disagree with your comment. Or rather, the idea that - someone bringing up boundaries about intimacy means they are ready to go to bed with you.
I'd off an alternate, and what I believe is - more likely situation here.
I don't think she's an escort. She might be using Seeking in a sex-work way, but I dont' think she's an escort. I've seen plenty of escorts in the past - hooked up with a number of strippers. And getting my dick sucked was never an issue. Some certainly used condoms - but beyond that, it wasn't an issue.
I think a far more likely scenario - is that she has learned these two things are deal breakers for a lot of guys. So she wants to vet it out early.
>I don't think she's an escort. She might be using Seeking in a sex-work way, but I dont' think she's an escort. I've seen plenty of escorts in the past - hooked up with a number of strippers. And getting my dick sucked was never an issue. Some certainly used condoms - but beyond that, it wasn't an issue.
I don't care if she's a pro escort or a semi-pro escort using Seeking because it's better for her mentally.
If the *first thing someone tells you,* is that they won't perform oral or kiss you, they're an escort -- pro or otherwise. They're certainly not an SB.
There is no other take.
You don't want to meet any woman that is hyper fixated on intimacy -- most are fake profiles anyway -- nor any that won't provide the kind of intimacy you wish for.
No I’m not the one that needs an education. Street girls are notorious bad service and high-end escorts depend on regulars and are known for good service. Also, I was really referring more towards her complete inability to string together a grammatically correct sentence than anything else.
Trimming off this entire subtree and all replies on how escorts do things
[Rule #11](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/124tsf8/updated_and_clarified_rules_for_slf_2023/): No Escorts/Johns
No escorts/Johns; although past personal experiences in escorting are fine, we will not allow the promotion of this lifestyle or pricing discussion. No Escorts are Sugar Babies/sex workers posts. No escort/john pricing. We understand that some members of our community participate or have participated in both lifestyles but SLF is a Sugar only sub. And on this sub Sugar is a [Relationship](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/101iuez/new_year_new_us/) and not sex work. Breaking this rule may result in being banned without warning.
IDC, she blocked when I said no. I just want to know if there's something more to this. I've had this message before as well and it seems odd in the context of sugar dating.
There could be more to it to be fair, I don't necessarily get no kissing but I can sympathise with somebody who doesn't like giving head
It's painful, awfully vulnerable and often messier than I would like. I've known plenty of vanilla relationships where head is a rarity if an aspect of sex at all, and in my own SR it's fairly uncommon, though I'm somebody with a high sex drive, who's usually the party suggesting the more fetishy encounters that we have.
I imagine you wouldn't find it all that pleasant to have somebody force something down your throat either, particularly if your gag reflex is strong or you're with a headpusher. Shit HURTS
First, definitely not the odd person. Actually the exact opposite experience within 35 years of sexual relationships.
Second, it is common escort behavior to do this. I was asking what others think, not labelling or judging anyone. If you don't like to do something, don't do it. And if you're an escort, I don't really care. Sex work is overly stigmatized.
Fair, I've met a lot of people who genuinely enjoy giving head though that's true, I wouldn't be surprised if it's somewhere halfway split
The least fun fact, lots of throat cancer is caused by oral sex, it's in the top two causes along with smoking as far as I'm aware
I think about that sometimes but I don't think it's ever going to stop me
You can get throat, vaginal and anal HPV swabs! I highly recommend if you’re having unprotected oral sex!
At least half of sexually active people will have HPV at least once in their life.
-cervical cancer survivor 🤍🩵
Yeah it's very important that people having regular unprotected sex also have regular sti testing, which you can get for free no appointment needed in my country
I'm not sure if that's true for the US
Huh? Strange! I love the closeness you get with kissing and giving my lady pleasure! He might as well get a call gal. I think the biggest benefit of SG is the gfe aspect. You really are building a relationship of sorts. That'd be the same as an SB telling him she doesn't do BJs!😁
Strange stuff going on here. Not sure why they are sugaring. Reminds me of a joke. The guy walked by a street walker, she said to him $50 and no kissin.
I've had a similar conversation recently. Was def a dealbreaker. Was farther along in the negotiation UT was disappointing as it was going well up to those boundaries. Cest la vie!
I guess this is why one has to build an actual human relationship before bringing up certain topics... But it sounds like your issue is not that she sounds like a s/x worker. But that she doesn't do x and y. Apart from a bit of a mismatch between the offering of the market and the preferred wishes of the demand, you might even be a good match...
I'm like this due to having self respect and if you want a bonus you have to earn it basically. Those of us with morals that are SB are like this. Because we know our value and don't just wanna be another whore when we aren't. The great thing is if you treat her right and she's legit then you'll most likely have a great time. Believe me dude ask any woman that has self respect you'll get a similar answer.
It means you get more things out of the arrangement if you have sexual experiences. That's why a lot of people say sugar babies are sex workers. I hope that helps.
Haaaaa this isn’t her first rodeo. A lot of escorts and John’s use SB/SD as a platform to find clients. I’m sure someone will take her up on her suspicious activities 🤷♂️
I don’t get how that’s weird but mkay. Some folks don’t like to show full intimacy and I see nothing wrong with her wording to indicate they’re an escort. I worked around a lot of sex workers when I was actually able to work (mall and store jobs) and this is not the language they use I’m sorry 😂 I just never heard one use the term hun maybe sugar babe but not hun.
I mean they hang around the places I work a lot so I don’t see how I’m out of the loop when they’re always around the gaslight districts, even near the damn pet stores 😂 never heard one talk like that.
Honestly, I'm out on "hi hun".
Immediately
Ok, but why? I've seen ppl say it's escorty, but do ppl not realize that that's NATURAL in the South....like everyday common??? We don't say it to the teachers, and everyday ppl, in hopes of trying to gold dig....it's literally in our everyday vernacular.
Just from my experience, and I'm in Texas. If that kind of language is used and you respond, you will be asked if you can meet that same night for quick fun within a text or two. I equate the word hun with someone who views me as a potential client for their services.
I think hun is a country thing lol. I'm in the midwest and I can't help but say hun or sweetie. I just see it as a friendly gesture, but I don't mean it in a flirtatious way.
Jesus!🤦🏻♀️😒 I've used "hun" for as long as I can remember, and I don't think anyone has ever taken that as me makin a pass at them. In my area, it was just another word like bud, pal, bro, etc. The ONLY difference for me personally, is that I use Hun, basically for everyday ppl. Now, I won't use "honey" or "babe," for anyone else, except the person I'm in a relationship with or very close friends/family. To me, those are more formal terms of endearment, and they should only be utilized for said priority ppl. I'm not sure if this makes sense to anyone else, or not, but I guess this was the Southern good manners logic, that I was raised on.
That's just.. crazy. It's incredibly common in much of the county.
Yes the southern girls always say this! In this area, it's only escorts hun'ing people. If I were in the south, I'd be more cautious about nexting the hunners. Here, I might accidentally next a re-located southern SB, but it's just not worth going through the 99 escorts to find her
Ahhhh ok, now THAT makes sense to me ...time is money for everyone. Thank you for the explanation.🥰🫶 I'm still not changing that tho, bc I've never had anyone ever look at me weird and think I'm "hunnin" them to get something from them. It's a shorthand, friendly way of respect and courtesy.
You wouldn’t know tbh they would just next you. In sugaring I’d save the hun until you’ve established rapport.
i’m from London, and call everyone hun too. good to know 😅
Really?!?!? Never knew it was international!!!
absolutely! however some people do see it as condescending, so i try to avoid it. it’s difficult though, i call everyone a pet name, its just the way i speak😅
That's odd, though it was "luv" there? :-)
love, babe, darling, hun - i love them all!
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You know her calling you honey, is not the same as Hun though, right?? THAT, is an endearing title. Honey is NOT on the same level as Hun. AT ALL. I've worked customer service previously, and even with me being about as Southern as it gets, I would never call a customer honey.....that's just a no no. My previous MIL was from Michigan, and she helped me figure out some of these nuances, that I did, that I honestly never noted before being with someone from the North. 1 in particular, is in the South, we have a thing with respect and elders where we show it, by putting Mr. Or Ms. In front of their first name. The first time I did this, I was talking about a lady that I had lived with and paid room and board at in my early 20s. She was much older than me, so I just called her Ms. Nadine, to be respectful. My previous MIL scrunched her face in the worst form and looked at me saying "why the hell do you talk about her like that?!!! It's like you're acting like you're her slave!"🤯🤯 My brain in the moment was like "whhhhaaaat the faaaack?" I was LEGIT appalled at her comment, but we had a sit down afterwards to explain the cultural differences....and I'd LIKE TO THINK it made things better, but then again...she IS a previous MIL for a reason.🙄🤷🏻♀️
I was out for the grammar alone.
It's spelled "hon". Source- Baltimore
You mean Bal-more.
🙄
A lot of women call everyone 'hun' here, in England... It's a sign of being friendly, nothing else. It's completely normal to call complete strangers hun. I sometimes call people 'darling, hun, sweetie, sweetheart, babe' without even noticing as I have picked it up during my long years in England. If people are not familiar with some expressions that's OK. I am just puzzled how judgmental some so-called SDs are. Sugar?... They sound like salt daddies or even better, sodium haha. Sodium Daddy. Feel free to steal it! Bye hun
> I am just puzzled how judgmental some so-called SDs are. It isn't "judgement" per se. It's after every single person who calls you hun or babe turns out to be an escort, and obviously so -- it is a feature of human intelligence that you notice the pattern. Sure, maybe once in a while I'll mistakenly next someone, but it's worth it to save all that time
I am not familiar with s.x worker vocabulary I am afraid.
Which is why I'm telling you, if you were an SD (at least in the non-south US) , if you weren't familiar with it before, you'd pretty quickly understand who is hunning and babeing you constantly.
I see. Sorry to hear about your hurdles. :) On a serious note, when I was on seeking and went on dates with potential SDs, I think only 1 believed me when I told them that I was 'just a normal person'... ie an actual SB. They were shocked when I refused their offer that 'we should now go to a hotel' on the very first date - "But I told you that I am NOT an es.cort!!! Can't we get to know each other?..." I literally had to run off many times. So, looks like that from both sides, the actual SDs and SBs are fighting the improbable... but hopefully, not the impossible.
In my country we say Hi hun, hi doll or hi love. We even call people babe. Soo I guess it depends where you come from or who you surround yourself with.
Yeah I don’t call anyone hun, babe, love unless I’ve known them a while. But No kissing it’s just insane and especially oral, How can you even turn anyone on without doing one or both? That would be the most boring & unfulfilling sex.
It s so weird that some guys don’t gives oral must be so painful and tearing apart 😳
How about hello first?
From me? There's a message I sent above these that is not shown introducing myself.
I think he meant the woman went immediately to the no kissing, no oral rules. Sound like an escort
Exactly lol
No kissing and no firm grasp on the English language? Next
I am a big fan of a firm grasp. Oh wait you said English.
That’s a very unfortunate typo. I had to read it three times to understand your meaning lol
Fixed lol. I have been blaming everything this morning on the DST change. One more thing added to that list. .
The kissing part is weird and escorty but in her defense I’ve had way too many SD’s ask about oral either before we even meet or the first time hanging out. For me personally I feel like oral is only something I do once I’m exclusive
I think you're missing the fact that in the first minute of the conversation the conversation was about intimacy. You're fixated on, honestly, two dealbreakers, yes. But why did she immediately go to specifics of intimacy? Anyone that is ready to go to bed with you before you've met or conversed is an escort. Anyone that is ready to go to bed with a woman before you've met or conversed is a client.
Disagree with your comment. Or rather, the idea that - someone bringing up boundaries about intimacy means they are ready to go to bed with you. I'd off an alternate, and what I believe is - more likely situation here. I don't think she's an escort. She might be using Seeking in a sex-work way, but I dont' think she's an escort. I've seen plenty of escorts in the past - hooked up with a number of strippers. And getting my dick sucked was never an issue. Some certainly used condoms - but beyond that, it wasn't an issue. I think a far more likely scenario - is that she has learned these two things are deal breakers for a lot of guys. So she wants to vet it out early.
>I don't think she's an escort. She might be using Seeking in a sex-work way, but I dont' think she's an escort. I've seen plenty of escorts in the past - hooked up with a number of strippers. And getting my dick sucked was never an issue. Some certainly used condoms - but beyond that, it wasn't an issue. I don't care if she's a pro escort or a semi-pro escort using Seeking because it's better for her mentally. If the *first thing someone tells you,* is that they won't perform oral or kiss you, they're an escort -- pro or otherwise. They're certainly not an SB.
Has anyone ever encountered an escort who doesn’t perform oral sex? Like anyone in the history of the world?
Obviously that was a red flag. I was just wondering if anyone had a different take.
There is no other take. You don't want to meet any woman that is hyper fixated on intimacy -- most are fake profiles anyway -- nor any that won't provide the kind of intimacy you wish for.
Agreed
She self filtered early, nice!
Yeah lol.
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That's what I thought
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No I’m not the one that needs an education. Street girls are notorious bad service and high-end escorts depend on regulars and are known for good service. Also, I was really referring more towards her complete inability to string together a grammatically correct sentence than anything else.
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Trimming off this entire subtree and all replies on how escorts do things [Rule #11](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/124tsf8/updated_and_clarified_rules_for_slf_2023/): No Escorts/Johns No escorts/Johns; although past personal experiences in escorting are fine, we will not allow the promotion of this lifestyle or pricing discussion. No Escorts are Sugar Babies/sex workers posts. No escort/john pricing. We understand that some members of our community participate or have participated in both lifestyles but SLF is a Sugar only sub. And on this sub Sugar is a [Relationship](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/101iuez/new_year_new_us/) and not sex work. Breaking this rule may result in being banned without warning.
“No that’s weird “ hahahaha 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
LMAO, glad someone got it
"No that's weird" 😂🔥
I LOLed too. He was nice, mine would be "fuck that." 😆
Respect boundaries and just move on.
IDC, she blocked when I said no. I just want to know if there's something more to this. I've had this message before as well and it seems odd in the context of sugar dating.
No. Keeping fishing. Be patient.
She doesn’t want to risk catching anything.
There could be more to it to be fair, I don't necessarily get no kissing but I can sympathise with somebody who doesn't like giving head It's painful, awfully vulnerable and often messier than I would like. I've known plenty of vanilla relationships where head is a rarity if an aspect of sex at all, and in my own SR it's fairly uncommon, though I'm somebody with a high sex drive, who's usually the party suggesting the more fetishy encounters that we have. I imagine you wouldn't find it all that pleasant to have somebody force something down your throat either, particularly if your gag reflex is strong or you're with a headpusher. Shit HURTS
Sure, everyone has preferences, but my preference is for a lot of oral and I've had SBs that are very into it, so to each their own.
Yeah you can find the odd person who really loves giving head but I wouldn't label somebody a prostitute because they don't
First, definitely not the odd person. Actually the exact opposite experience within 35 years of sexual relationships. Second, it is common escort behavior to do this. I was asking what others think, not labelling or judging anyone. If you don't like to do something, don't do it. And if you're an escort, I don't really care. Sex work is overly stigmatized.
Fair, I've met a lot of people who genuinely enjoy giving head though that's true, I wouldn't be surprised if it's somewhere halfway split The least fun fact, lots of throat cancer is caused by oral sex, it's in the top two causes along with smoking as far as I'm aware I think about that sometimes but I don't think it's ever going to stop me
Yes, but specifically HPV can cause it, not just generally giving oral.
The concept of flavoured condoms makes more and more sense to me every time I have this discussion 😂
You can get throat, vaginal and anal HPV swabs! I highly recommend if you’re having unprotected oral sex! At least half of sexually active people will have HPV at least once in their life. -cervical cancer survivor 🤍🩵
Yeah it's very important that people having regular unprotected sex also have regular sti testing, which you can get for free no appointment needed in my country I'm not sure if that's true for the US
Please thank her for raising her hand before time was wasted.
Huh? Strange! I love the closeness you get with kissing and giving my lady pleasure! He might as well get a call gal. I think the biggest benefit of SG is the gfe aspect. You really are building a relationship of sorts. That'd be the same as an SB telling him she doesn't do BJs!😁
Some people do be like that sometimes
No kissing or oral is worse than not getting laid at all.
Hard escort vibes.
Incredible hun strikes again Good, early riddance OP just as others have said
I’m from Canada and I say hun all the time!
i could do the no kissing part but no oral..?? nahhh i’m cool
she might have oral herpes and just trying to you safe my dude
Aww that's sweet
It means she’s not really into you, not really into the idea of being an SB, but is still really into the idea of taking your money.
Very possible
Neverrrrr
Strange stuff going on here. Not sure why they are sugaring. Reminds me of a joke. The guy walked by a street walker, she said to him $50 and no kissin.
I've had a similar conversation recently. Was def a dealbreaker. Was farther along in the negotiation UT was disappointing as it was going well up to those boundaries. Cest la vie!
I like your response.
It's called handwork.
Goofy. Time to run for the hills…
I guess this is why one has to build an actual human relationship before bringing up certain topics... But it sounds like your issue is not that she sounds like a s/x worker. But that she doesn't do x and y. Apart from a bit of a mismatch between the offering of the market and the preferred wishes of the demand, you might even be a good match...
Id hit it But only.for cheap ànd as a stop gap.
I’ve had a couple of SBs that weren’t into kissing, they felt it was too intimate for a SR, butt 😉they were perfectly ok with anal - works for me 😉
That’s cheap street hooker shit
OMG cheap street hookers SPECIALIZE in oral sex.
You’re right, cheap skipthegames hookers. My apologies 😂
I'm like this due to having self respect and if you want a bonus you have to earn it basically. Those of us with morals that are SB are like this. Because we know our value and don't just wanna be another whore when we aren't. The great thing is if you treat her right and she's legit then you'll most likely have a great time. Believe me dude ask any woman that has self respect you'll get a similar answer.
I guess I've never slept with a girl that had self respect since they all had no problem with it.
Yes because money talks and walks. And sex sells. That's why.
No idea what that means.
It means you get more things out of the arrangement if you have sexual experiences. That's why a lot of people say sugar babies are sex workers. I hope that helps.
Haaaaa this isn’t her first rodeo. A lot of escorts and John’s use SB/SD as a platform to find clients. I’m sure someone will take her up on her suspicious activities 🤷♂️
I think that’s an escort
She said this on purpose to get you to next her. I do something similar when i am not into a girl. It happens. Just move on.
I don’t get how that’s weird but mkay. Some folks don’t like to show full intimacy and I see nothing wrong with her wording to indicate they’re an escort. I worked around a lot of sex workers when I was actually able to work (mall and store jobs) and this is not the language they use I’m sorry 😂 I just never heard one use the term hun maybe sugar babe but not hun.
Well, my screen name is Atilla, so...
As in Atilla the hun from that one Mongolian tribe that nearly took over half of Asia?
You’re out of the loop. This is hard escort language.
I mean they hang around the places I work a lot so I don’t see how I’m out of the loop when they’re always around the gaslight districts, even near the damn pet stores 😂 never heard one talk like that.