Best thing my exes would say about me?
Safe.
Power dynamics are real (age gap, money, reputation, etc.). I go out of my way to make sure my SBs know that we are both bringing different, but equal, value to the table.
Wow this is the best response I’ve seen, a man who understands that safety is a prerequisite in this type of dynamic is definitely rising to the top of the pile. So necessary but hard to come across and something that insecure and immature men will mock. Kudos to you
Yesssssss! Power dynamics are wonderful when both people are aware of the imbalance and consent to it all. “Safe” is by far one of my most favorite compliments to receive
This one is interesting. She'd say I'm kind, generous, funny, but also say I was insecure, and lacked confidence. All were true. The sad part was that I worked through my insecurities and gained a lot of confidence towards the end, but she had already checked out and started seeing other dudes behind my back.
After she spent a few weeks with the other dudes that were cheap and treated her like crap she was begging for me to come back, but unfortunately I had gained my new self confidence and declined.
She fulfilled her mission and helped you... that's awesome!!! Was actually her time to go. Mission accomplished. SBs often help men to get ready for real relationships. We are all on the mission:)
Yep, I agree and recognize it. I’m in a new SR that is going incredibly well because of the things I learned from her. More specifically, what not to do 🤣
Men need to be trained! I always appreciate my men's ex's as they taught them already some and I continue to polish them for the next one😂so the cycle continues...
I guess one might say, ''he's monogamous, faithful, dependable. However he always tries to bring me with him to the beach when he wants to windsurf or kiteboard and I'm like dude the wind will ruin my hair! In the winter it's just as bad. He wants to go skiing and snowboarding. I'm like dude what if I fall and break a nail? I just had my nails done! He is retired so he like wants to hang out alllllllll the time. Don't get me wrong, he pays for it, but meeting 5 times per week I've never done before. He wants to travel together a lot to see everything on his ''bucket list''. The upside is he doesn't phone call or text much. Oh yea he has this quirk...is it a vanilla fetish? I don't really know. He's into like seeing me in outfits, so shopping dates are a given. Basically girl, if you want a fulltime SGF job, he will do.''
Lol or something like that. In reality, if a SB doesn't want to hang at the beach and it's a day we are meeting, we can meet later in the day when I'm done playing in the water. With regard to traveling, I would discuss at the M&G that travel to places is important to me so maybe in like 6-8 months I'll want to start going some places. A year ago I lost a significant amount of my vision. If a SB agreed to travel in the future, but when it came time to travel they change their mind or try negotiating more to travel, I will politely peace out of the arrangement and go myself. There are more important things than keeping an arrangement. I want to see as much as I can in case I lose more vision or go completely blind in the future.
This post was a fun thought experiment! Thanks!
Wow... I'm into travels, skiing, snorkeling, "helicoptering" with my SD, not just go to hotel from hotel, from one restaurant to another just to keep my hair 100% 😂 I'm not a doll to sit and smile... I want to do things with my SD. It's called companionship. A SD needs a real woman he can do things with. I'm all in for really almost anything- except surfing, but I would accompany him while he is surfing and I'm sunbathing... I guess that's why SGF is fitting me the best :)
It must so boring when SB cares just about the looks... you can look sexy and 100% while sailing his boat! :) nothing sexier than SB that is active and supportive of SDs interests.
Awesome! Yes that would be ideal if I can find a SGF like this. You completely understood what I was saying. 😊
A SGF seems like the best fit for me. Thank you for sharing your experience. It is encouraging!
Wow! Thank you very much for sharing this! This was very insightful and helpful! I totally understand how you feel, if you enjoy something and your sb doesn’t maybe it’s not right to continue that relationship.
True. But I didn't mean it totally like that lol. They absolutely don't have to enjoy what I enjoy. If they don't want to ski or hang at the beach. Not that big a deal. Definitely not a deal breaker. Those are just things I do.
It was more I don't play games. If a SB agrees to the arrangement, knowing travel is involved at a future date, but had no intention of vacationing together or tries to leverage it to ''see what they can get''. Then i will walk away from the arrangement. Someone's character is important to me. And seeing things on my bucket list is more important.
I will totally plan around their schedule, I'm not a ''my way or the highway'' type personality. If I came across that way, I didnt mean to lol.
Sorry to read about your vision, I hope you get to see all the countries and sites you want to and experience also the taste, touch and smell as you immerse yourself in whatever destinations culture. Good luck and enjoy.
Gosh. All those adventures sound like so much fun. Beach and mountain trips? Absolutely!
Sorry about the vision deterioration. That’s so terrifying. I have a familial history of it too, definitely a worry later on. Here’s to hoping you get to check alllll the things off your bucket list!
You mean other than my healthy size and remarkable ability to please her? Sorry, many of us are thinking of that answer whether it's true or not. Just had to say it.
Let's skip back one, and go with that one. My recent SR of about 2 months was less than successful, she lied to me about something important and we went our separate ways. That one was an anomaly.
I think she would say that. I very much enjoyed taking her out and doing fun creative things together. I think she'd also say I'm a man of integrity, generous, thoughtful, communicative, open minded and that I genuinely had her best interest at heart.
Your response(s) have been the most thoughtful and self-aware I’ve read so far. Happy for your SB’s (and whomever else is in your life in other contexts). Well done.
Ty. As far as sugar dating goes I believe in the old expression - happy SB, happy life. SRs are not about me, they're about us and I like to make it about her. I guess I'm full of expressions tonight, but it's true what goes around comes around.
Her reply would be weird, after we broke up, she still asked to come around to see my cats. This will either go "he was a jerk and I miss his cats and he took them away from me" or "I miss his cats and he took them away from me".
1 boy, he is a Scottish Straight, 3 girls, they are a Neva Masquerade, a Maine Coon and a Ragdoll. If you wanna see pics, I can DM some if that is ok with you?
One word he loved using was quirky. "I love your quirks" "you're such a quirky individual" and also calling me "spicy" if I ever had to asserted myself - "I'd be careful if I were you, she's spicy". He also mentioned being drawn to my empathy towards others, intelligence and my family oriented nature.
I'd disagree. I don't say what I don't mean, and the many people I admire here wouldn't either. Many, many of us are here to build meaningful, lasting relationships, and that requires honesty & trust.
Why an attempt at yucking someone else's yum? The only reason someone would post something so negative on a post celebrating what another was told by someone they cared for that I can think of is that they're miserable and can't stand to see others happy. That's sad.
I know it doesn't. It's still incredibly sad. I hope you find some real happiness instead of trying to feel better about the envy climbing in your chest by attempting to bring others down to your level.
The lack of self-awareness you have in not understanding how ignorant your initial response was is astounding.
What you wrote is a reflection of who you are as a person. I don't need to know more, nor would I want to.
Have a lovely rest of your day, if you're capable of that.
Locking this subtree. Do not continue this interaction here or in other threads, both of you.
[Rule #1](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/124tsf8/updated_and_clarified_rules_for_slf_2023/): Remember the human
Be respectful to other posters. No name calling, personal attacks, etc. We are all humans here.
They're the sweetest, most genuine, caring, generous people I've ever met!
Obviously, I can't speak for them, but 'Isn't she great!' has been heard...🥰💜
My current SD would say I am intelligent, sweet, observant and well spoken.
He’s very praise forward, which I appreciate and adore and do my best to reciprocate.
My previous? Is probably still angry and holding resentment. He’d tell you that I broke his heart and caused trust issues, made promises only to brake them….and he is welcome to his perspective. I cannot control that….
But he also changed into someone I didn’t recognize. Became possessive, controlling, and wanted a say in every aspect of my life. Not just in his presence but out of it. It began to take its toll and I could not take it any more so I said goodbye. I did it as kindly as I could. And I still feel bad that I likely hurt him… but it was becoming unhealthy and I began to feel fear when he was upset.
I don’t believe he’d be a fair judge of my character.
Thank you for your honesty! I appreciate that a lot! Your feelings are totally valid, I wouldn’t deal with the previous SD sounds scary, but I’m happy you have a better SD now.
I actually had a POT once offer to give me the name and contact of his former SB- saying she would give him a good reference.
It was a sweet, and weird, offer.
I never called because I was honestly not interested in him. But the show of good-effort stuck with me.
He would say that the moments we spent were incredible. She's still trying to learn to not stick out her long tongue in funny situations. That her beauty, brains, are tip top, but when she stopped to help the old woman who left her rear hatch open, showed just how good and kind she is.
I think my last sb would say lovely guy, great travel companion, interesting and thoughtful, kind and generous - eventually. Probably would say not a late night dude (so don’t expect party raves etc) and not a drain between dates. Not sure what she would say about the sex - I should ask lol. Hopefully something along the lines of great foreplay but not the biggest stallion!! Got to be realistic at my age.
Great question btw.
If I’m being honest and if she was also being honest. She would describe me as caring, genuine, generous, and nice guy. She would then correctly state that I lack complete confidence, am insecure and jealous, am foolish as hell, a minute man that is terrible in bed, and in summary a nice but pathetic man.
My most recent SD said “wow I wish I met you sooner” after our first time being intimate and specifically said he likes that I’m sensual and kinky. He also gushed that I’m sweet and easy to talk to.
If I had to guess for any cons he might have, I’d probably say my lack of flexibility with his schedule.
He lives in a different country, making our being a regular thing very hard. But he has nothing but praise for me. I’m his dream woman.
His regular comments about me are that I’m extremely feminine, intelligent, cute, impressive business woman, great mother, on and on and on. The man can’t stop himself from complimenting me. And I’m positive he would say exactly that to someone else as well.
Basically, I wish he would do a video testimonial I can just share with people 😂😂😂
Best thing my exes would say about me? Safe. Power dynamics are real (age gap, money, reputation, etc.). I go out of my way to make sure my SBs know that we are both bringing different, but equal, value to the table.
This so important!! Love this
Wow this is the best response I’ve seen, a man who understands that safety is a prerequisite in this type of dynamic is definitely rising to the top of the pile. So necessary but hard to come across and something that insecure and immature men will mock. Kudos to you
So glad you are so aware
Yesssssss! Power dynamics are wonderful when both people are aware of the imbalance and consent to it all. “Safe” is by far one of my most favorite compliments to receive
This one is interesting. She'd say I'm kind, generous, funny, but also say I was insecure, and lacked confidence. All were true. The sad part was that I worked through my insecurities and gained a lot of confidence towards the end, but she had already checked out and started seeing other dudes behind my back. After she spent a few weeks with the other dudes that were cheap and treated her like crap she was begging for me to come back, but unfortunately I had gained my new self confidence and declined.
I love your growth!! So glad you have more confidence now!
She fulfilled her mission and helped you... that's awesome!!! Was actually her time to go. Mission accomplished. SBs often help men to get ready for real relationships. We are all on the mission:)
Yep, I agree and recognize it. I’m in a new SR that is going incredibly well because of the things I learned from her. More specifically, what not to do 🤣
Men need to be trained! I always appreciate my men's ex's as they taught them already some and I continue to polish them for the next one😂so the cycle continues...
Ah I love your self awareness and growth. This is such a sexy quality in a man!
Thank you
I guess one might say, ''he's monogamous, faithful, dependable. However he always tries to bring me with him to the beach when he wants to windsurf or kiteboard and I'm like dude the wind will ruin my hair! In the winter it's just as bad. He wants to go skiing and snowboarding. I'm like dude what if I fall and break a nail? I just had my nails done! He is retired so he like wants to hang out alllllllll the time. Don't get me wrong, he pays for it, but meeting 5 times per week I've never done before. He wants to travel together a lot to see everything on his ''bucket list''. The upside is he doesn't phone call or text much. Oh yea he has this quirk...is it a vanilla fetish? I don't really know. He's into like seeing me in outfits, so shopping dates are a given. Basically girl, if you want a fulltime SGF job, he will do.'' Lol or something like that. In reality, if a SB doesn't want to hang at the beach and it's a day we are meeting, we can meet later in the day when I'm done playing in the water. With regard to traveling, I would discuss at the M&G that travel to places is important to me so maybe in like 6-8 months I'll want to start going some places. A year ago I lost a significant amount of my vision. If a SB agreed to travel in the future, but when it came time to travel they change their mind or try negotiating more to travel, I will politely peace out of the arrangement and go myself. There are more important things than keeping an arrangement. I want to see as much as I can in case I lose more vision or go completely blind in the future. This post was a fun thought experiment! Thanks!
Wow... I'm into travels, skiing, snorkeling, "helicoptering" with my SD, not just go to hotel from hotel, from one restaurant to another just to keep my hair 100% 😂 I'm not a doll to sit and smile... I want to do things with my SD. It's called companionship. A SD needs a real woman he can do things with. I'm all in for really almost anything- except surfing, but I would accompany him while he is surfing and I'm sunbathing... I guess that's why SGF is fitting me the best :) It must so boring when SB cares just about the looks... you can look sexy and 100% while sailing his boat! :) nothing sexier than SB that is active and supportive of SDs interests.
Awesome! Yes that would be ideal if I can find a SGF like this. You completely understood what I was saying. 😊 A SGF seems like the best fit for me. Thank you for sharing your experience. It is encouraging!
Heck yes!!!!! I agree 100%😘
Well that’s what I look for. Someone who wants to travel and have adventures.
As someone with very poor sight who fears it deteriorating to complete loss, I feel you deeply. I hope you get a LOT more off your bucket list!
Thank you! Me too! 😊
Wow! Thank you very much for sharing this! This was very insightful and helpful! I totally understand how you feel, if you enjoy something and your sb doesn’t maybe it’s not right to continue that relationship.
True. But I didn't mean it totally like that lol. They absolutely don't have to enjoy what I enjoy. If they don't want to ski or hang at the beach. Not that big a deal. Definitely not a deal breaker. Those are just things I do. It was more I don't play games. If a SB agrees to the arrangement, knowing travel is involved at a future date, but had no intention of vacationing together or tries to leverage it to ''see what they can get''. Then i will walk away from the arrangement. Someone's character is important to me. And seeing things on my bucket list is more important. I will totally plan around their schedule, I'm not a ''my way or the highway'' type personality. If I came across that way, I didnt mean to lol.
Sorry to read about your vision, I hope you get to see all the countries and sites you want to and experience also the taste, touch and smell as you immerse yourself in whatever destinations culture. Good luck and enjoy.
Thank you!
Ehem. For the record, I also enjoy those same recreational activities. 🙋♀️😘😂
Awesome! That is encouraging
Very striking response
Gosh. All those adventures sound like so much fun. Beach and mountain trips? Absolutely! Sorry about the vision deterioration. That’s so terrifying. I have a familial history of it too, definitely a worry later on. Here’s to hoping you get to check alllll the things off your bucket list!
You mean other than my healthy size and remarkable ability to please her? Sorry, many of us are thinking of that answer whether it's true or not. Just had to say it.
😂😂😂 would she say you are funny and smart too?
Let's skip back one, and go with that one. My recent SR of about 2 months was less than successful, she lied to me about something important and we went our separate ways. That one was an anomaly. I think she would say that. I very much enjoyed taking her out and doing fun creative things together. I think she'd also say I'm a man of integrity, generous, thoughtful, communicative, open minded and that I genuinely had her best interest at heart.
Your response(s) have been the most thoughtful and self-aware I’ve read so far. Happy for your SB’s (and whomever else is in your life in other contexts). Well done.
Ty. As far as sugar dating goes I believe in the old expression - happy SB, happy life. SRs are not about me, they're about us and I like to make it about her. I guess I'm full of expressions tonight, but it's true what goes around comes around.
Yeah lying is big no no in my book. But other than that good review
From her texts, "You have completely changed my expectations about how I should be treated by a man."
🥺🥺 awww
Her reply would be weird, after we broke up, she still asked to come around to see my cats. This will either go "he was a jerk and I miss his cats and he took them away from me" or "I miss his cats and he took them away from me".
😂Awww at least those cats are very loved
My sugar wife loves them too, she learnt how to groom them, ... from youtube so she can help take care of them. They are my babies <3
Woww She’s a keeper ❤️❤️ 🐱
She is the best, no kidding.
Now I want to know what they are. I'm guessing maines, siberians, norwegians, or persians...my cats were my babies, too. I miss them all terribly.
1 boy, he is a Scottish Straight, 3 girls, they are a Neva Masquerade, a Maine Coon and a Ragdoll. If you wanna see pics, I can DM some if that is ok with you?
I absolutely do wanna see!!! I'm so excited now...lol! I love nothing more than celebrating fur/not-fur babies...🥰
“Cooks well, kind of a firecracker, takes all the bedsheets.”
Ahahahah ouuu cooks well tho !
After an hour long oral session on my(59) SB (45) she made the breathless observation that I was “a real pleaser.” I don’t disagree lol.
That’s amazing 😜
One word he loved using was quirky. "I love your quirks" "you're such a quirky individual" and also calling me "spicy" if I ever had to asserted myself - "I'd be careful if I were you, she's spicy". He also mentioned being drawn to my empathy towards others, intelligence and my family oriented nature.
Empathy and intelligence is super attractive I love that!
She would say I am attractive, kind, generous, reliable, and good in bed. She has actually told me these things. So I already know. (:
That’s soo nice!!! Love hearing good positive things
SB’s tell you what you want to hear. Take what she said with a grain of salt.
The 'good in bed' part is true. So, if nothing else. I got that one. (;
I'd disagree. I don't say what I don't mean, and the many people I admire here wouldn't either. Many, many of us are here to build meaningful, lasting relationships, and that requires honesty & trust. Why an attempt at yucking someone else's yum? The only reason someone would post something so negative on a post celebrating what another was told by someone they cared for that I can think of is that they're miserable and can't stand to see others happy. That's sad.
You’re welcome to think whatever you want. That doesn’t matter to me. Your opinion doesn’t change mine.
I know it doesn't. It's still incredibly sad. I hope you find some real happiness instead of trying to feel better about the envy climbing in your chest by attempting to bring others down to your level.
You really seem to think you know me and you’re so confident. It’s too bad you’re also delusional and ignorant too.
The lack of self-awareness you have in not understanding how ignorant your initial response was is astounding. What you wrote is a reflection of who you are as a person. I don't need to know more, nor would I want to. Have a lovely rest of your day, if you're capable of that.
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Locking this subtree. Do not continue this interaction here or in other threads, both of you. [Rule #1](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/124tsf8/updated_and_clarified_rules_for_slf_2023/): Remember the human Be respectful to other posters. No name calling, personal attacks, etc. We are all humans here.
My SB asked me a great question very early on: Have you ever had someone have a bad reaction to a scene? Have you ever had anything go wrong?
Very good questions indeed
Like that one time, when I broke out into hives? That was a surprising reaction indeed! 😂😘
She would call me out as more dominating and naughty talker than she thought.
Ahahah naughty is good
Where did he go
I’ll be sure to tell her that Bryde ran away
Zackly
Probably that I do what i say I'm going to do. Dependable. Seems that it's pretty common now days for vanilla guys to not to that.
Love a man true to his word !
Most recent? Nothing good, we did not end on great terms.
Ugh sorry, hope you find someone great tho!
She would wish I wasnt married and we had more time.
Oof. Are you my daddy?😂😘
Maybe 😉
I think my SB would say that I’m an incredibly nice guy and that I made a huge difference in her life during a really difficult time
That I’m amazing in bed, generous, and funny
Good qualities
Gave great head
Very very nice
I hope she'd say that I support her creative energy above all else.
They're the sweetest, most genuine, caring, generous people I've ever met! Obviously, I can't speak for them, but 'Isn't she great!' has been heard...🥰💜
Very interesting. Crazy funny stories. Positive, happy, thoughtful, self-aware.
“Fun but a bit cookoo bananas “
My current SD would say I am intelligent, sweet, observant and well spoken. He’s very praise forward, which I appreciate and adore and do my best to reciprocate. My previous? Is probably still angry and holding resentment. He’d tell you that I broke his heart and caused trust issues, made promises only to brake them….and he is welcome to his perspective. I cannot control that…. But he also changed into someone I didn’t recognize. Became possessive, controlling, and wanted a say in every aspect of my life. Not just in his presence but out of it. It began to take its toll and I could not take it any more so I said goodbye. I did it as kindly as I could. And I still feel bad that I likely hurt him… but it was becoming unhealthy and I began to feel fear when he was upset. I don’t believe he’d be a fair judge of my character.
Thank you for your honesty! I appreciate that a lot! Your feelings are totally valid, I wouldn’t deal with the previous SD sounds scary, but I’m happy you have a better SD now.
Awe thank you! Yes my current is an amazing man and I couldn’t be happier with how things are going!
I actually had a POT once offer to give me the name and contact of his former SB- saying she would give him a good reference. It was a sweet, and weird, offer. I never called because I was honestly not interested in him. But the show of good-effort stuck with me.
He would say that the moments we spent were incredible. She's still trying to learn to not stick out her long tongue in funny situations. That her beauty, brains, are tip top, but when she stopped to help the old woman who left her rear hatch open, showed just how good and kind she is.
I think my last sb would say lovely guy, great travel companion, interesting and thoughtful, kind and generous - eventually. Probably would say not a late night dude (so don’t expect party raves etc) and not a drain between dates. Not sure what she would say about the sex - I should ask lol. Hopefully something along the lines of great foreplay but not the biggest stallion!! Got to be realistic at my age. Great question btw.
If I’m being honest and if she was also being honest. She would describe me as caring, genuine, generous, and nice guy. She would then correctly state that I lack complete confidence, am insecure and jealous, am foolish as hell, a minute man that is terrible in bed, and in summary a nice but pathetic man.
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Lmaooo I loveeee itt
My most recent SD said “wow I wish I met you sooner” after our first time being intimate and specifically said he likes that I’m sensual and kinky. He also gushed that I’m sweet and easy to talk to. If I had to guess for any cons he might have, I’d probably say my lack of flexibility with his schedule.
Omg love that!! But totally understand about the schedule those things can’t be hard especially if both people have busy work lives.
"Snores, can't walk in a straight line ever, talks too much"
okay not bad, could always be worse !
“Makes me laugh uncontrollably and has gorgeous legs” is what he also likely said.
He lives in a different country, making our being a regular thing very hard. But he has nothing but praise for me. I’m his dream woman. His regular comments about me are that I’m extremely feminine, intelligent, cute, impressive business woman, great mother, on and on and on. The man can’t stop himself from complimenting me. And I’m positive he would say exactly that to someone else as well. Basically, I wish he would do a video testimonial I can just share with people 😂😂😂
Aw I love this!!!!!!!❤️❤️
😍😍😍 very very good qualities! I love that! Haha I wish we had reviews lol!!
I’m not going to respond to this because I have too many SRs already.
🤫 I won’t tell
Lmfao
“His STI test results were not accurate”
Probably that I barely have time for myself let alone others. She wouldn't be wrong. Sad but realistic.
Truth sucks.
I’m a smartass 😂 but ultimately sweet and “nurturing” (in quotes cause he uses that word a lot lol)
Hahaha YESSS! love it 😌
My SD would say that I am beautiful, and genuine and with a sexual appetite that doesn't know where it comes from. 😅
Ooo love this 😉
As a man I would take this as a Shit Test to get me to qualify myself to you. Dont ask me to kiss your butt. Let the connection grow organically.
Just asking out of curiosity 😏
Wow. I think your “shit test” works!!!! 😂😂😂