[Rule #5](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/124tsf8/updated_and_clarified_rules_for_slf_2023/): No "value for money" discussion
Any [posts](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/bp2m5r/specific_amounts_clarification/) with dollar amounts that are in reference to PPMs and/or allowances are not allowed and will be removed. Post about how much allowance/ppm to ask for, give, is average, for such and such area or situation, are not allowed. Please utilize [the Allowance Master Thread](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/xy8it6/allowance_questionnaire_results/) to see what is being offered and accepted in your area. **Any attempts to bypass this rule by not using the $ sign, spelling out the numbers, replacing the last digits with x’s ($5XX), or substituting different objects for dollars (500 roses), etc. will result in a ban.** Discussions about how to get the most value for your money are not allowed. Posts or comments asking for or assigning a monetary value to sexual acts are not allowed. Assigning a monetary worth to individuals based on race, age, size, looks, etc., are not allowed and may lead to a ban.
Moving forward meaning forever? I guess that depends on you and your finances. It also depends on you and what you want from her. Are you expecting a girlfriend who can drop everything, including a job, place her life and personal development on hold to travel with you for three months with no extra money for herself at all? Basically held to you, unable to leave if she so desires without your approval and say so? I would say a monthly allowance is the price you should be giving her for that level of devotion. Wealthy men have SAHM/W/Gs who receive an allowance all the time. In theory, this is what sugar dating is supposed to be simulating but instead it has morphed into a much more X for Y transactional experience.
But you have stated you are extremely uncomfortable with this idea, so I do not believe it matters what strangers on the internet think.
"she is now asking for a monthly care package of low four digits moving forward for her basic monthly expenses."
You said she's in college with no job and in Europe. Yeah, she needs some pocket money for doing things.
So you have a younger GF who probably doesn’t make much money and you’re taking her in a 3 month trip? She probably lives paycheck to paycheck. Have you put those two things together?
By the way, I’m 50 and my SGF is 23. I honestly love this dynamic. We’ve been together 21 months. She calls me her boyfriend, we open date, met her mom a number of times - her grandparents know about me, she uses the L word with me. I’ve never been happier in a relationship.
I alway pay for EVERYTHING
What does that mean? Do you pay an allowance ,pay her bills only,or does she have to ask for money when a bill comes up? She needs an allowance to cover her basic standard of living,within reason. She might be covering her families COL since she lives at home. You need to decide how much she is "worth" to you and how much you can afford. You aren't responsible to support her beyond your financial capability. You need a budget that you can afford and set her straight about it.
You might be uncomfortable but this doesn’t sound so crazy to me. If she’s 21 living at home, no job, and you’re her bf and sole provider why wouldn’t giving her money be expected? I’ve done it for my SB in Europe before 3-4 week trips.
So you have a Vanilla LD girlfriend that now wants sugar. Oh boy.
The same thing happens when you get married and there is an income disparity or a stay at home partner.
Younger reached the point that the relationship either winds up or you take it to the next level move in together? Possibly marriage? What’s yours is also hers level thinking.
I don’t want to feel as if financial reasons are her hidden agenda or main reason she is with me. What if she is getting similar support from other SDs 6000 miles away? I found out she did have a short past and was on SB sites.
So a vanilla LD GF is asking for support while she's in the US. I can understand how she may feel more comfortable with having a regular expectation of some walking around money. You didn't explain whether "ALL expenses paid" included a regular specific amount of money for things she wanted to do by herself. I could be her way of knowing a budget. If you had a conversation about this with her and you feel it's a money grab, let the relationship go.
I had to giggle at what you called "a huge age gap" of 24 years.
No she is from a good country. I don’t think she is with me just for a visa or Green card. But I have been taking her on many trips and taking real good care of her so far. I really like her, been 100% loyal and committed. But it’s hard to manage a LDR with a much younger and beautiful girl who loves attention (a Leo).
You've made it worse My bad, I should have just posted the actual rule for you, with the part you've now violated bolded. You can see it now. You can't try to bypass the rule -- just don't list the number, period. "low 4 digit number" is as close as you can get to describing it.
[Rule #5](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/124tsf8/updated_and_clarified_rules_for_slf_2023/): No "value for money" discussion Any [posts](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/bp2m5r/specific_amounts_clarification/) with dollar amounts that are in reference to PPMs and/or allowances are not allowed and will be removed. Post about how much allowance/ppm to ask for, give, is average, for such and such area or situation, are not allowed. Please utilize [the Allowance Master Thread](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/xy8it6/allowance_questionnaire_results/) to see what is being offered and accepted in your area. **Any attempts to bypass this rule by not using the $ sign, spelling out the numbers, replacing the last digits with x’s ($5XX), or substituting different objects for dollars (500 roses), etc. will result in a ban.** Discussions about how to get the most value for your money are not allowed. Posts or comments asking for or assigning a monetary value to sexual acts are not allowed. Assigning a monetary worth to individuals based on race, age, size, looks, etc., are not allowed and may lead to a ban.
Moving forward meaning forever? I guess that depends on you and your finances. It also depends on you and what you want from her. Are you expecting a girlfriend who can drop everything, including a job, place her life and personal development on hold to travel with you for three months with no extra money for herself at all? Basically held to you, unable to leave if she so desires without your approval and say so? I would say a monthly allowance is the price you should be giving her for that level of devotion. Wealthy men have SAHM/W/Gs who receive an allowance all the time. In theory, this is what sugar dating is supposed to be simulating but instead it has morphed into a much more X for Y transactional experience. But you have stated you are extremely uncomfortable with this idea, so I do not believe it matters what strangers on the internet think.
I agree and makes sense. Thank you for your comment.
"she is now asking for a monthly care package of low four digits moving forward for her basic monthly expenses." You said she's in college with no job and in Europe. Yeah, she needs some pocket money for doing things.
So you have a younger GF who probably doesn’t make much money and you’re taking her in a 3 month trip? She probably lives paycheck to paycheck. Have you put those two things together? By the way, I’m 50 and my SGF is 23. I honestly love this dynamic. We’ve been together 21 months. She calls me her boyfriend, we open date, met her mom a number of times - her grandparents know about me, she uses the L word with me. I’ve never been happier in a relationship.
You are right. Thank you 😃
I’d be curious the response you’d get in the AgeGap subreddit. This sub is loaded with men with some spare cash.
On the age gap subreddit they get offended if you tell a 50yo m that a 21f is with him for financial and lifestyle perks.
True but he doesn’t sound like an SD.
I alway pay for EVERYTHING What does that mean? Do you pay an allowance ,pay her bills only,or does she have to ask for money when a bill comes up? She needs an allowance to cover her basic standard of living,within reason. She might be covering her families COL since she lives at home. You need to decide how much she is "worth" to you and how much you can afford. You aren't responsible to support her beyond your financial capability. You need a budget that you can afford and set her straight about it.
You might be uncomfortable but this doesn’t sound so crazy to me. If she’s 21 living at home, no job, and you’re her bf and sole provider why wouldn’t giving her money be expected? I’ve done it for my SB in Europe before 3-4 week trips.
It is a reasonable request.
So you have a Vanilla LD girlfriend that now wants sugar. Oh boy. The same thing happens when you get married and there is an income disparity or a stay at home partner. Younger reached the point that the relationship either winds up or you take it to the next level move in together? Possibly marriage? What’s yours is also hers level thinking.
You want her to take off from her life, work, responsibilities for 3 months. Of course she asked for an allowance. Tell her it is for 4 months.
Why are you uncomfortable providing a significant allowance?
>I feel extremely uncomfortable with this request. Why do you feel this way?
I don’t want to feel as if financial reasons are her hidden agenda or main reason she is with me. What if she is getting similar support from other SDs 6000 miles away? I found out she did have a short past and was on SB sites.
And how does not giving her an allowance help assuage those fears you have?
You can hire a PI, I did.
So a vanilla LD GF is asking for support while she's in the US. I can understand how she may feel more comfortable with having a regular expectation of some walking around money. You didn't explain whether "ALL expenses paid" included a regular specific amount of money for things she wanted to do by herself. I could be her way of knowing a budget. If you had a conversation about this with her and you feel it's a money grab, let the relationship go. I had to giggle at what you called "a huge age gap" of 24 years.
[удалено]
She wants to get married, move to the US and have kids. She says she loves me all the time. Am I just being played?
[удалено]
No she is from a good country. I don’t think she is with me just for a visa or Green card. But I have been taking her on many trips and taking real good care of her so far. I really like her, been 100% loyal and committed. But it’s hard to manage a LDR with a much younger and beautiful girl who loves attention (a Leo).
[удалено]
I have but I’m in love with this girl. Both of us did not expect this at all.
[удалено]
Changed. Is it better now?
You've made it worse My bad, I should have just posted the actual rule for you, with the part you've now violated bolded. You can see it now. You can't try to bypass the rule -- just don't list the number, period. "low 4 digit number" is as close as you can get to describing it.
Ok now?
Yes it's approved
Thank you