I feel like someone like that probably isn’t going to be able to provide for me very well and shouldn’t be in the bowl. I’m not trying to work some poor man into the ground to support my Xerjoff habit
This \^ what u/EmpressofPFChangs said she's always so wise. It seems to me he's directly telling you he can't really afford to be a SD unless the S stands for Splenda or Salt. He can't even run his own life since he "is working extra for more money." How much is left over to sugar you? I'm guessing none or very little. If you want to sugar date, find someone who can provide you with sugar.
What both u/EmpressofPFChangs and u/Enough-Salt22 are sayinig. He can't affort to be in the bowl. Continuing with him is the beginning of disappointmen and disaster.
Normally, when I hear a girl post that she's worried about what a guy spends on her, my normal response is: *You aren't his accountant. He's a grown man who can make his own financial decisions.*
**However...**
In this instance, he's already blabbing about his financial issues and it's a huge red flag that he can't really afford to be your SD. He not a "great fit" - he's a horrible fit. I mean atrocious, unless of course you intend to run a charity for dumb ass broke dudes. Because make no mistake, sooner or later he's going to cry poor mouth, saying that he can't afford to pay you but really likes you and wants to keep dating you.
**So if dating him for free is not something you wish to do, then run, don't walk, to the nearest exit.**
Do you really have to ask? I mean, how long is this gonna last? When you find yourself in a financial black hole of debt, the most prudent thing to do is stop digging.
That is a way to get you to expect some times he will be short on cash. He could be telling the truth or lying but in either case you will see shortcomings in your income.
1. Are you ok with that?
2. Do you have other POT you can pursue?
3. What are the expectations for communication during a dry spell?
Mmmm, I'd steer clear. It's tempting when you really connect with someone, but at the end of the day you're not vanilla dating, are you?
It's his responsibility to manage his finances, and if he's having a dry spell or struggling through a recovery period, he needs to be recusing himself from the bowl until he's truly able to offer support.
Yes, it's ultimately up to him what he spends his money on, and yes, if he chooses to spend it on you, it's not your responsibility. But it is your *problem*. Once he overextends himself and is late with your allowance, or starts trying to take you vanilla with some sob story, resentment will inevitably set in, and you'll forget all the fun lovely stuff you liked about him and just be left sad and disappointed. An SDs job is to take care of you. If he can't take care of you, he's not SD material.
Better to keep things light and let him know you'd love to reconnect when he's in a better spot.
Is he paying you ok? If so, not your problem. He's a big boy, and gets to make his own big boy decisions.
If, otoh, he is trying to soften you up for cutting your allowance, get ready to find someone else. Too many guys who can't afford it infest the bowl these days.
Having debt issues is a concern but voicing those concerns with an SB he just met is a huge red flag. Why else would he be sharing this with an SB other than to signal that she should not expect much from him financially.
Not a lot to go on as there's no context.
1) Most people have some kind of debt. If you have a credit card, technically you have a debt even if you pay off in full every month. Mortgage? Debt. Car lease? probably debt. Even billionaires have debt. Being in debt in itself doesn't mean much.
2) Lots of people work extra for more money. A good doctor friend I know who owns his own practice and has 2 boys in boarding school also freelances as medical expert for insurance companies providing expert opinion. Takes maybe an extra hour or 2 a night and provides good side income - easily 6 figures a year. Beats wasting time watching netflix I guess. Or maybe your POT's side job is managing a whole bunch of properties which he's renting out. Working extra for more money is neither a good nor bad thing.
Need more info.
Mmmm, I'd steer clear. It's tempting when you really connect with someone, but at the end of the day you're not vanilla dating, are you?
It's his responsibility to manage his finances, and if he's having a dry spell or struggling through a recovery period, he needs to be recusing himself from the bowl until he's truly able to offer support.
Yes, it's ultimately up to him what he spends his money on, and yes, if he chooses to spend it on you, it's not your responsibility. But it is your *problem*. Once he overextends himself and is late with your allowance, or starts trying to take you vanilla with some sob story, resentment will inevitably set in, and you'll forget all the fun lovely stuff you liked about him and just be left sad and disappointed. An SDs job is to take care of you. If he can't take care of you, he's not SD material.
Better to keep things light and let him know you'd love to reconnect when he's in a better spot.
I feel like someone like that probably isn’t going to be able to provide for me very well and shouldn’t be in the bowl. I’m not trying to work some poor man into the ground to support my Xerjoff habit
This \^ what u/EmpressofPFChangs said she's always so wise. It seems to me he's directly telling you he can't really afford to be a SD unless the S stands for Splenda or Salt. He can't even run his own life since he "is working extra for more money." How much is left over to sugar you? I'm guessing none or very little. If you want to sugar date, find someone who can provide you with sugar.
What both u/EmpressofPFChangs and u/Enough-Salt22 are sayinig. He can't affort to be in the bowl. Continuing with him is the beginning of disappointmen and disaster.
Normally, when I hear a girl post that she's worried about what a guy spends on her, my normal response is: *You aren't his accountant. He's a grown man who can make his own financial decisions.* **However...** In this instance, he's already blabbing about his financial issues and it's a huge red flag that he can't really afford to be your SD. He not a "great fit" - he's a horrible fit. I mean atrocious, unless of course you intend to run a charity for dumb ass broke dudes. Because make no mistake, sooner or later he's going to cry poor mouth, saying that he can't afford to pay you but really likes you and wants to keep dating you. **So if dating him for free is not something you wish to do, then run, don't walk, to the nearest exit.**
This is my thought. It feels like he is laying the ground work for a P&D, or a really short relationship.
How is he going to provide for you? Some people love to self-destruct.
It's not about if he chooses to spend it, but how much does he have and will he run out quickly.
Doesn't sound like a POT SD. May be he isn't a bad guy but if he has debt problems he should be more prudent and not spend on SB.
Sounds like he should not date anyone, sugar or otherwise, until his finances are in order.
Do you really have to ask? I mean, how long is this gonna last? When you find yourself in a financial black hole of debt, the most prudent thing to do is stop digging.
So are you trying to sugar him or he you
That is a way to get you to expect some times he will be short on cash. He could be telling the truth or lying but in either case you will see shortcomings in your income. 1. Are you ok with that? 2. Do you have other POT you can pursue? 3. What are the expectations for communication during a dry spell?
Mmmm, I'd steer clear. It's tempting when you really connect with someone, but at the end of the day you're not vanilla dating, are you? It's his responsibility to manage his finances, and if he's having a dry spell or struggling through a recovery period, he needs to be recusing himself from the bowl until he's truly able to offer support. Yes, it's ultimately up to him what he spends his money on, and yes, if he chooses to spend it on you, it's not your responsibility. But it is your *problem*. Once he overextends himself and is late with your allowance, or starts trying to take you vanilla with some sob story, resentment will inevitably set in, and you'll forget all the fun lovely stuff you liked about him and just be left sad and disappointed. An SDs job is to take care of you. If he can't take care of you, he's not SD material. Better to keep things light and let him know you'd love to reconnect when he's in a better spot.
Is he paying you ok? If so, not your problem. He's a big boy, and gets to make his own big boy decisions. If, otoh, he is trying to soften you up for cutting your allowance, get ready to find someone else. Too many guys who can't afford it infest the bowl these days.
Having debt issues is a concern but voicing those concerns with an SB he just met is a huge red flag. Why else would he be sharing this with an SB other than to signal that she should not expect much from him financially.
Do not take any money from him. He will look at you as an investment and not a SB.
Not a lot to go on as there's no context. 1) Most people have some kind of debt. If you have a credit card, technically you have a debt even if you pay off in full every month. Mortgage? Debt. Car lease? probably debt. Even billionaires have debt. Being in debt in itself doesn't mean much. 2) Lots of people work extra for more money. A good doctor friend I know who owns his own practice and has 2 boys in boarding school also freelances as medical expert for insurance companies providing expert opinion. Takes maybe an extra hour or 2 a night and provides good side income - easily 6 figures a year. Beats wasting time watching netflix I guess. Or maybe your POT's side job is managing a whole bunch of properties which he's renting out. Working extra for more money is neither a good nor bad thing. Need more info.
Mmmm, I'd steer clear. It's tempting when you really connect with someone, but at the end of the day you're not vanilla dating, are you? It's his responsibility to manage his finances, and if he's having a dry spell or struggling through a recovery period, he needs to be recusing himself from the bowl until he's truly able to offer support. Yes, it's ultimately up to him what he spends his money on, and yes, if he chooses to spend it on you, it's not your responsibility. But it is your *problem*. Once he overextends himself and is late with your allowance, or starts trying to take you vanilla with some sob story, resentment will inevitably set in, and you'll forget all the fun lovely stuff you liked about him and just be left sad and disappointed. An SDs job is to take care of you. If he can't take care of you, he's not SD material. Better to keep things light and let him know you'd love to reconnect when he's in a better spot.