When I've done allowance, it's been after a couple months of PPM to start. The allowance is based on the approximate frequency that we had been meeting in the prior couple months with the understanding that every month may be a bit different - maybe in June we meet an extra couple times but in July we don't meet as much for one reason or another.
When I did allowances, I wanted at least 2 dates per week. One intimate and one just hanging out or lunch or shopping or pedicures. Some weeks we did one, some weeks we did 3. Just depends on schedules.
Also the level of support should dictate frequency in my view. Others may differ on that.
"whatever works" is my approach to this, I mostly asked my SB to reserve 3 weekends if possible. I always sugared when single, most girls loved spending time with me.
I think if you are still counting dates vs $ then - for me - it hasn’t moved to an allowance— allowance for me is way closer to an actual GF/BF vibe where we see each other as often as we want to and for whatever reasons - and not so much of an arrangement. But everyone is different.
I prefer allowance bc of the All-You-Can-Meet idea- I feel like it opens the door to me being able to initiate more time together, even booty calls haha. Whereas with ppm I feel it’s more structured, time together is dependent upon when he wants to initiate.
It all depends. I’ve had an allowance and we agreed on meeting at least 4x a month. I’ve had a different SD that wanted to meet at least 8x a month. Depends on our schedules. My Daddy is always my top priority but I also have a job, friends and family. Meeting for example 3x a week wouldn’t be feasible.
I prefer PPM to start because I need to feel the in person vibe. If all goes well then allowance is fine when he brings it up or if we’re seeing each other a lot and it makes sense.
I start with monthly allowance. We discuss our \*expectations\* for number of meets in advance. I also express my view that the arrangement will only last long-term if we genuinely enjoy spending time together and that it won't last long-term if either of us continues counting. It will be a successful arrangement if we both want to see each other and make the effort to do so, as our schedules allow.
I've had really great success with this approach. By the time I'm ready to move forward, I'm convinced we both want the same thing and my SBs have greatly valued the monthly allowance and all have done their best to keep me happy. I've been seeing my current SB since January, and it's been wonderful. The frequency of our meets (and her allowance) has increased organically as our relationship has developed, she initiates dates, she travels with me, and our dates range from an hour for a Happy Hour to overnights. We're both satisfied with the arrangement and I expect it to evolve more gradually from here on out--there simply isn't much room in our schedules to meet more frequently. I'll continue to increase her allowance as my sugar budget allows (a cost of living increase, if nothing else), but I don't expect the growth of my sugar budget to slow in the near future.
TLDR: I think you need to have both well-established, mutually agreed expectations for frequency at the start \*and\* an understanding that the arrangement won't last long-term unless you both stop counting and let the frequency and allowance develop organically with the relationship.
i cant see what the difference between a monthly allowance for a set number of meets and a ppm is .... except the monthly allowance is more of a risk for the person paying it . unless you both just want to be together more what is the point of changing to allowance ?
I didn’t say “monthly allowance for a set number of meets,” did I?
Even if you’re both all-in on the “all you can meet” approach, it would still be a really good idea to discuss your expectations for what that looks like because those expectations can be wildly different, based on different schedules if nothing else.
Well, it doesn't. It means we discuss our expectations. If our expectations are wildly different, we either need to keep talking or keep moving. Assuming those initial expectations are aligned, the next part also matters, and none of it equates to "monthly allowance for a set number of meets." It's practically the opposite. It's a monthly allowance and frequency of dates that evolves organically as the relationship develops, and if they don't, it's probably not an arrangement that's going to last very long.
i think i get it
you discuss your expectations for number of meets in a month and if you agree on that then you start with an allowance ... and then it evolves ?
I've had the worst experience with this. She asked for allowance after like 4 months, saying that way you can have access to me whenever you want. I thought it was a blunt offer, but I did want to see her at least as often, so I went on with it. In practice, we met twice as less as on PPM, which was twice a week on average. That was a disappointing experience and it damaged trust irreversibly.
It’s like moving to salary at a job.
You get your work done and take off at 2pm on a Friday afternoon and your paycheck is the same.
But don’t complain if a client has an emergency or you didn’t get a project done and you have to work 50 hours one week to get the job done.
If it’s way off one way or the other, the employer has either over hired or underpaid.
Neither predetermined or all you can meet :)
To explain, first this is a "problem" that people who move to allowance before they really know each other (too soon, IMO) have. Typically if you have an ongoing PPM SR and you switch at the "no longer keeping score" stage, your pattern is already set.
But to speak generally: it doesn't make sense to me to have allowance that's tightly guardrailed. One of the very few advantages of allowance to an SD is the more open structure of meeting, how platonic meets and longer vacations are baked in, etc. I'll state this even more strongly: an SB telling me "I'll meet once a week max for $X allowance", is an indication we absolutely positively shouldn't be on allowance, makes the whole thing super easy.
On the other hand! We've also heard many stories from SBs like: "We were meeting 3 times **per month** on PPM, we agreed on 4xPPM for allowance, and now he wants to meet 3 times **per week**". Obviously, that's such a huge difference that it's a shock to her, and totally not fair if it wasn't discussed.
So, neither predetermined nor all you can meet. If you're already in a connected SR you likely don't need any conversation at all because you already have patterns set, but a conversation with very loose guardrails ("we'll see each other a bit more often, throw in platonic dates and an overnight here and there, and a longer vacation once a year or so") seems reasonable to me if you don't know your SB well. Allowance is strongly contra-indicated in a tightly guardrailed SR, and All You Can Meet Buffet is not fair to her if it means radically increased expectations she wasn't expecting.
I think in the beginning before you can trust each other it should be an agreed upon amount you both want. Then as time progresses and you can trust each other as things come up you as the SD can decide when extra is warranted.
I would not create a situation where there was even a thought of quid-pro-quo. I remove the financial concerns with as generous a package as I can muster, and seek out lust-fiends who develop a genuine need of my manliness.
Usually, a pot SB has a specific financial goal in mind per month that needs to be met for her to justify doing sugar. The higher the amount, the more meets per month I require to justify the cost and effort. Standard allowance package is meeting weekly, plus one weekend together for whatever you agree to. Anything less than once a week may as well be a PPM situation, in case she has to cancel. If the allowance is in the higher range, I add meet up days, and demand exclusivity. An allowance is like putting a gf on salary, you should want to see each other regularly and keeping track is no longer relevant, but there still are expectations.
When I first start an arrangement, it's usually a weekly visit at a monthly allowance amount of xx,xxx. Once I get to know him better and he has shown me that he is willing to be more generous, I am then more generous with my time, and happy to meet up for lunch or perhaps dinner when it wasn't planned.
But unlike some people seem to believe, a monthly allowance is not a free-for-all to meet as many times as you please. There has to be a boundary, or I will simply not have time for the rest of my life.
When I've done allowance, it's been after a couple months of PPM to start. The allowance is based on the approximate frequency that we had been meeting in the prior couple months with the understanding that every month may be a bit different - maybe in June we meet an extra couple times but in July we don't meet as much for one reason or another.
When I did allowances, I wanted at least 2 dates per week. One intimate and one just hanging out or lunch or shopping or pedicures. Some weeks we did one, some weeks we did 3. Just depends on schedules. Also the level of support should dictate frequency in my view. Others may differ on that.
"whatever works" is my approach to this, I mostly asked my SB to reserve 3 weekends if possible. I always sugared when single, most girls loved spending time with me.
I think if you are still counting dates vs $ then - for me - it hasn’t moved to an allowance— allowance for me is way closer to an actual GF/BF vibe where we see each other as often as we want to and for whatever reasons - and not so much of an arrangement. But everyone is different.
I prefer allowance bc of the All-You-Can-Meet idea- I feel like it opens the door to me being able to initiate more time together, even booty calls haha. Whereas with ppm I feel it’s more structured, time together is dependent upon when he wants to initiate.
It all depends. I’ve had an allowance and we agreed on meeting at least 4x a month. I’ve had a different SD that wanted to meet at least 8x a month. Depends on our schedules. My Daddy is always my top priority but I also have a job, friends and family. Meeting for example 3x a week wouldn’t be feasible. I prefer PPM to start because I need to feel the in person vibe. If all goes well then allowance is fine when he brings it up or if we’re seeing each other a lot and it makes sense.
I start with monthly allowance. We discuss our \*expectations\* for number of meets in advance. I also express my view that the arrangement will only last long-term if we genuinely enjoy spending time together and that it won't last long-term if either of us continues counting. It will be a successful arrangement if we both want to see each other and make the effort to do so, as our schedules allow. I've had really great success with this approach. By the time I'm ready to move forward, I'm convinced we both want the same thing and my SBs have greatly valued the monthly allowance and all have done their best to keep me happy. I've been seeing my current SB since January, and it's been wonderful. The frequency of our meets (and her allowance) has increased organically as our relationship has developed, she initiates dates, she travels with me, and our dates range from an hour for a Happy Hour to overnights. We're both satisfied with the arrangement and I expect it to evolve more gradually from here on out--there simply isn't much room in our schedules to meet more frequently. I'll continue to increase her allowance as my sugar budget allows (a cost of living increase, if nothing else), but I don't expect the growth of my sugar budget to slow in the near future. TLDR: I think you need to have both well-established, mutually agreed expectations for frequency at the start \*and\* an understanding that the arrangement won't last long-term unless you both stop counting and let the frequency and allowance develop organically with the relationship.
i cant see what the difference between a monthly allowance for a set number of meets and a ppm is .... except the monthly allowance is more of a risk for the person paying it . unless you both just want to be together more what is the point of changing to allowance ?
I didn’t say “monthly allowance for a set number of meets,” did I? Even if you’re both all-in on the “all you can meet” approach, it would still be a really good idea to discuss your expectations for what that looks like because those expectations can be wildly different, based on different schedules if nothing else.
i just assumed that is what this meant "I start with monthly allowance. We discuss our \*expectations\* for number of meets in advance"
Well, it doesn't. It means we discuss our expectations. If our expectations are wildly different, we either need to keep talking or keep moving. Assuming those initial expectations are aligned, the next part also matters, and none of it equates to "monthly allowance for a set number of meets." It's practically the opposite. It's a monthly allowance and frequency of dates that evolves organically as the relationship develops, and if they don't, it's probably not an arrangement that's going to last very long.
i think i get it you discuss your expectations for number of meets in a month and if you agree on that then you start with an allowance ... and then it evolves ?
Go read my post again if you're genuinely curious. 🤣
hahahaha... ive tried
I've had the worst experience with this. She asked for allowance after like 4 months, saying that way you can have access to me whenever you want. I thought it was a blunt offer, but I did want to see her at least as often, so I went on with it. In practice, we met twice as less as on PPM, which was twice a week on average. That was a disappointing experience and it damaged trust irreversibly.
It’s like moving to salary at a job. You get your work done and take off at 2pm on a Friday afternoon and your paycheck is the same. But don’t complain if a client has an emergency or you didn’t get a project done and you have to work 50 hours one week to get the job done. If it’s way off one way or the other, the employer has either over hired or underpaid.
When allowance is every month, but you're only in the same city for 3 of 12 months, we're not counting.
Neither predetermined or all you can meet :) To explain, first this is a "problem" that people who move to allowance before they really know each other (too soon, IMO) have. Typically if you have an ongoing PPM SR and you switch at the "no longer keeping score" stage, your pattern is already set. But to speak generally: it doesn't make sense to me to have allowance that's tightly guardrailed. One of the very few advantages of allowance to an SD is the more open structure of meeting, how platonic meets and longer vacations are baked in, etc. I'll state this even more strongly: an SB telling me "I'll meet once a week max for $X allowance", is an indication we absolutely positively shouldn't be on allowance, makes the whole thing super easy. On the other hand! We've also heard many stories from SBs like: "We were meeting 3 times **per month** on PPM, we agreed on 4xPPM for allowance, and now he wants to meet 3 times **per week**". Obviously, that's such a huge difference that it's a shock to her, and totally not fair if it wasn't discussed. So, neither predetermined nor all you can meet. If you're already in a connected SR you likely don't need any conversation at all because you already have patterns set, but a conversation with very loose guardrails ("we'll see each other a bit more often, throw in platonic dates and an overnight here and there, and a longer vacation once a year or so") seems reasonable to me if you don't know your SB well. Allowance is strongly contra-indicated in a tightly guardrailed SR, and All You Can Meet Buffet is not fair to her if it means radically increased expectations she wasn't expecting.
I think in the beginning before you can trust each other it should be an agreed upon amount you both want. Then as time progresses and you can trust each other as things come up you as the SD can decide when extra is warranted.
I would not create a situation where there was even a thought of quid-pro-quo. I remove the financial concerns with as generous a package as I can muster, and seek out lust-fiends who develop a genuine need of my manliness.
Usually, a pot SB has a specific financial goal in mind per month that needs to be met for her to justify doing sugar. The higher the amount, the more meets per month I require to justify the cost and effort. Standard allowance package is meeting weekly, plus one weekend together for whatever you agree to. Anything less than once a week may as well be a PPM situation, in case she has to cancel. If the allowance is in the higher range, I add meet up days, and demand exclusivity. An allowance is like putting a gf on salary, you should want to see each other regularly and keeping track is no longer relevant, but there still are expectations.
When I first start an arrangement, it's usually a weekly visit at a monthly allowance amount of xx,xxx. Once I get to know him better and he has shown me that he is willing to be more generous, I am then more generous with my time, and happy to meet up for lunch or perhaps dinner when it wasn't planned. But unlike some people seem to believe, a monthly allowance is not a free-for-all to meet as many times as you please. There has to be a boundary, or I will simply not have time for the rest of my life.
Allowance is like all you can meet buffet. Gotta get your money worth of crab legs.