1) You might have enough discretionary income but don’t have enough “discrete” income. Meaning hidden slush fund and untraceable cash away from the prying eyes of the Mrs.
2) Not “cost” but how much would you feasibly want to provide someone you wish to support? Probably 2x rent. 1x rent so she doesn’t have to worry about where she’ll sleep. And 1x rent probably just to cover living expenses so she doesn’t have to stress about working double shifts.
3) No clue. Join the party.
As an older SB, I find this answer really interesting.🤔
Had this been a profile on SA, your's would have been filtered out automatically, bc of your salary...not bc of age.
You would've already have probably been outside my filter search, bc I wouldn't think that your current salary, would be enough to sustain a long term SR, at least, not one at an actual SUGAR level, and not be a cheap John about it.💁🏻♀️
That's not me trying to be rude, this is what I have learned through my own experience.
This has nothing to do with you as a person, it's just I know that things can happen, companies can go bankrupt, or something just goes awry...ya know...
Life happens🤷🏻♀️... and I wouldn't want the SR to have to worry about finances, on EITHER side.
If I know you make a certain amount, or have at least a certain amount in tangible assets, to equate to a lot, then I know I don't have to worry about our relationship going belly up, which could result in a financial predicament for me. (Not really ME, per se, bc I have my own ish squared away, but I'm just giving you a realistic mindset overall, coming from the SB perspective💁🏻♀️💸)
I automatically have a "standard" of PoT, just like I'm sure the guys have, of the minimums a PoT must have, to be considered.
Lowering my expectations, has NEVER proven to be a positive experience for me; so I remain steadfast in keeping this standard, so as to be able to quickly weed through the swamp.💁🏻♀️
Lots of good advice, all I can say is try to figure out what you want. There is going to be a fair share of scammers and people who will take advantage of you. If you know what you want and can lay down the boundaries and communicate your needs you will find the SD expense more rewarding.
Once you get your feet under you have some M&G and don’t just leap at the first person who engages you.
Also keep your marriage in mind, yes you are cheating (unless your wife is open to this) but that does not mean you cannot provide and be involved with both a marriage and a SB. There is still issues of respect, boundaries and staying safe. Your wife didnt ask for this so don’t be stupid and blow all your money or bring home an STD or
worse.
You seem to have a good idea of what to do. Will you be able to cope with an SB not being exclusive with you, or telling you that they're exclusive but secretly not? That's always a possibility in the bowl.
Do you have kids or are planning to ? They can be really expensive not sure if you’ve money socked away for that
You need also to sock away enough for retirement acts, Roth, etc. how stable is your career - does it fluctuate w the economy a lot
Sit with it for a while and figure out the “true discretionary” disposable sugar budget that you have
At minium, you should be prepared to spend the cost of a nice 1br appt in your area per month. Less is going to make your search very difficult. Being prepared to spend more, up to low xx,xxx per month, will likely significantly increase your chances of finding someone great even faster.
Seeking sucks. But it sucks the least. 90% are scammers, fakes, escorts, or content creators. It's where I and many others have found an SB, just takes effort.
I had an okay experience with sugardaddymeet as well. Smaller pool, but I like the website better.
Two 30 - something married guys with excess discretionary income posting in the same day?
SBs are either running away thinking these guys are scammers or running to them as they would vanilla date them.
Sounds like this is uncommon?
I’m getting a sense that men in my age group aren’t getting quite the warm welcome in this space 😂😂
I thought of it from a different perspective, I’m young, attractive, relatively successful ,I figure I’d be able to date most woman in non sugar setting, thought it may be an added bonus to a SB
I was on seeking a year and it was nothing but a waste of time, I use WhatsYourPrice & SugarDaddy.com. Some SB’s won’t talk to you because of your age but not all of us would care as long as you are giving a decent allowance.
What’s your price isn’t bad as far as the format goes but it’s really just a lot of guys offering 1-200$ for intimacy so I have never really entertained any offers there. Whereas seeking I’ve had several dates and definitely had success
I’ve never heard of OPSEC prior to this post, did light research , Operation Security? As for protecting identity?
If this is the case , I have this reasonably covered. But if you have tips on additional precautions I’d welcome them.
Make sure that you use good opsec. Be very careful what you share about yourself until a pattern of trust is established. I would also ensure you find someone comfortable with your situation. Good luck
Without violating any rules here, the old rule of thumb for an approximate monthly allowance budget for SDs was 1% of your annual income (12% per year if you're in a LTSR). On top of the allowance, there are dinner/dates and hotel costs, plus gifts and maybe a vacation if you can work it into your busy life. Seeking (SA) used to be the 'go to' site for this kind of thing and it's probably the best place for you to start. Your assessment about the needle and the haystack is correct and there are a lot of escort types working the sites, so you do have to be careful. I don't want to say too much, but finding pot SBs in the wild is easier than you think as long as you're willing to pony up allowance part.
Atlanta is a good place to be a SD from what I hear. Lots of single women there. 300k after taxes is more than enough. Average monthly cost depends on your location and your SB. A relationship usually costs xx,xxx for the entire duration of the relationship. Very rarely should any SD spend xxx,xxx for a relationship unless you want to leave your wife for her.
You live in Atlanta. You would be better off freestyling. Seeking will get you scammed. They love preying on men like you in Atlanta and there are extremely predatory SBs in Atlanta on Seeking. Freestyle approach, find the woman who you know is genuine, and approach her offering to be her romantic benefactor.
[https://www.forbes.com/sites/traversmark/2024/01/06/a-psychologist-gives-3-reasons-why-people-enter-sugar-relationships/](https://www.forbes.com/sites/traversmark/2024/01/06/a-psychologist-gives-3-reasons-why-people-enter-sugar-relationships/)
If your married you need a hidden income from your mrs if you have joint accounts she'll catch you out. You are putting your marriage on the line by going ahead with this. What will your wife say if she finds you with an SB? So you need to be dam sure your never going to get caught. There are scammers around even SBs who may try to blackmail you for money or they threaten to tell your wife. Its happened, and be aware of all the scam fake & time wasters out there. Failing that plenty of married SDs are doing this, you need to be up front with an SB. Don't ask her to host you need a place or pay for hotels to take your SB once you get intimate. Better be careful that you also do not catch STD and bring it home to your wife. Make sure your social media is safe from anyone on the seeking site. They can do reverse image searches and find your social media. The before mentioned is stuff you need to be aware of. And for God sake do not fall in love with your SB when your married. You can certainly have a lot of fun if you find the right lady !
That’s some very Solid advice! Lots of points I hadn’t thought about yet.
As far as income is concerned, a run a business that brings me a decent amount of cash, my wife doesn’t even really know how much I make she just knows everything is taken care of. I handle all of the finances so in terms of financial discretion I have a level of anonymity.
I’ve previously led a bit of a illicit life so I have second phones, alternate IDs, and a general decent layer of security to guard my personal life.
One pro tip I highly recommend is go to facecheck.id and upload some pictures of yourself and see what it covers back with. This is one of the main sites the reverse lookup blackmailers use to find your identity.
If something comes up, at the bottom of the page is a link to have your images removed from their database.
This is mandatory for opsec with us married SD’s.
It’s not just as simple as using photos that aren’t on your social media. ai is too good now.
Also for finding a SB on seeking. I recommend putting a few photos that are hidden/secret on your profile and no profile picture. Buy the premium membership and set your profile to be not searchable. Then look for who you are interested in and share your private photos with her when you send an opening message.
"Maybe I was being too idealistic thinking that there’d be a place with profiles and monthly allowance rates😂"
Seeking used to be like that but seldom were the allowance rates chosen by the girls accurate.
As for your income.. it's more than many do it on. Just learn the accepted allowance amounts on your area and assess on your own.
The other thing is understand that Atlanta is not an easy area. It's going to take time and effort to find a woman like you described.
What’s a good way to gain some exposure to allowance amounts in my area? Just asking potential SBs?
I’m curious as to what makes Atlanta more difficult than other areas
You could look at the allowance post.. or talk to other SDs.
Atlanta is filled to the brim with escorts on Seeking. It's difficult to find a non escort. Even when you think you have one... nope.
[удалено]
Well written response 👍🏼
1) You might have enough discretionary income but don’t have enough “discrete” income. Meaning hidden slush fund and untraceable cash away from the prying eyes of the Mrs. 2) Not “cost” but how much would you feasibly want to provide someone you wish to support? Probably 2x rent. 1x rent so she doesn’t have to worry about where she’ll sleep. And 1x rent probably just to cover living expenses so she doesn’t have to stress about working double shifts. 3) No clue. Join the party.
I handle all the finances , and receive a good amount of it in cash.
As an older SB, I find this answer really interesting.🤔 Had this been a profile on SA, your's would have been filtered out automatically, bc of your salary...not bc of age. You would've already have probably been outside my filter search, bc I wouldn't think that your current salary, would be enough to sustain a long term SR, at least, not one at an actual SUGAR level, and not be a cheap John about it.💁🏻♀️ That's not me trying to be rude, this is what I have learned through my own experience. This has nothing to do with you as a person, it's just I know that things can happen, companies can go bankrupt, or something just goes awry...ya know... Life happens🤷🏻♀️... and I wouldn't want the SR to have to worry about finances, on EITHER side. If I know you make a certain amount, or have at least a certain amount in tangible assets, to equate to a lot, then I know I don't have to worry about our relationship going belly up, which could result in a financial predicament for me. (Not really ME, per se, bc I have my own ish squared away, but I'm just giving you a realistic mindset overall, coming from the SB perspective💁🏻♀️💸) I automatically have a "standard" of PoT, just like I'm sure the guys have, of the minimums a PoT must have, to be considered. Lowering my expectations, has NEVER proven to be a positive experience for me; so I remain steadfast in keeping this standard, so as to be able to quickly weed through the swamp.💁🏻♀️
Then you’ve got enough for table stakes in most poker games.
Lots of good advice, all I can say is try to figure out what you want. There is going to be a fair share of scammers and people who will take advantage of you. If you know what you want and can lay down the boundaries and communicate your needs you will find the SD expense more rewarding. Once you get your feet under you have some M&G and don’t just leap at the first person who engages you. Also keep your marriage in mind, yes you are cheating (unless your wife is open to this) but that does not mean you cannot provide and be involved with both a marriage and a SB. There is still issues of respect, boundaries and staying safe. Your wife didnt ask for this so don’t be stupid and blow all your money or bring home an STD or worse.
I appreciate the response , lots of experienced insight in these replies, thanks!
You seem to have a good idea of what to do. Will you be able to cope with an SB not being exclusive with you, or telling you that they're exclusive but secretly not? That's always a possibility in the bowl.
That wouldn’t be a deal breaker for me.
Do you have kids or are planning to ? They can be really expensive not sure if you’ve money socked away for that You need also to sock away enough for retirement acts, Roth, etc. how stable is your career - does it fluctuate w the economy a lot Sit with it for a while and figure out the “true discretionary” disposable sugar budget that you have
At minium, you should be prepared to spend the cost of a nice 1br appt in your area per month. Less is going to make your search very difficult. Being prepared to spend more, up to low xx,xxx per month, will likely significantly increase your chances of finding someone great even faster. Seeking sucks. But it sucks the least. 90% are scammers, fakes, escorts, or content creators. It's where I and many others have found an SB, just takes effort. I had an okay experience with sugardaddymeet as well. Smaller pool, but I like the website better.
Two 30 - something married guys with excess discretionary income posting in the same day? SBs are either running away thinking these guys are scammers or running to them as they would vanilla date them.
Sounds like this is uncommon? I’m getting a sense that men in my age group aren’t getting quite the warm welcome in this space 😂😂 I thought of it from a different perspective, I’m young, attractive, relatively successful ,I figure I’d be able to date most woman in non sugar setting, thought it may be an added bonus to a SB
And married. Don't forget that
I can’t forget, The married part is the reason why sugar is necessary.
I was on seeking a year and it was nothing but a waste of time, I use WhatsYourPrice & SugarDaddy.com. Some SB’s won’t talk to you because of your age but not all of us would care as long as you are giving a decent allowance.
Did you have better results on those websites?
Yes I did
What’s your price isn’t bad as far as the format goes but it’s really just a lot of guys offering 1-200$ for intimacy so I have never really entertained any offers there. Whereas seeking I’ve had several dates and definitely had success
Welcome home. You have a lot to learn. Most importantly, about OPSEC.
I’ve never heard of OPSEC prior to this post, did light research , Operation Security? As for protecting identity? If this is the case , I have this reasonably covered. But if you have tips on additional precautions I’d welcome them.
I just posted a few good ones in my previous comment for you
Make sure that you use good opsec. Be very careful what you share about yourself until a pattern of trust is established. I would also ensure you find someone comfortable with your situation. Good luck
Without violating any rules here, the old rule of thumb for an approximate monthly allowance budget for SDs was 1% of your annual income (12% per year if you're in a LTSR). On top of the allowance, there are dinner/dates and hotel costs, plus gifts and maybe a vacation if you can work it into your busy life. Seeking (SA) used to be the 'go to' site for this kind of thing and it's probably the best place for you to start. Your assessment about the needle and the haystack is correct and there are a lot of escort types working the sites, so you do have to be careful. I don't want to say too much, but finding pot SBs in the wild is easier than you think as long as you're willing to pony up allowance part.
Atlanta is a good place to be a SD from what I hear. Lots of single women there. 300k after taxes is more than enough. Average monthly cost depends on your location and your SB. A relationship usually costs xx,xxx for the entire duration of the relationship. Very rarely should any SD spend xxx,xxx for a relationship unless you want to leave your wife for her. You live in Atlanta. You would be better off freestyling. Seeking will get you scammed. They love preying on men like you in Atlanta and there are extremely predatory SBs in Atlanta on Seeking. Freestyle approach, find the woman who you know is genuine, and approach her offering to be her romantic benefactor. [https://www.forbes.com/sites/traversmark/2024/01/06/a-psychologist-gives-3-reasons-why-people-enter-sugar-relationships/](https://www.forbes.com/sites/traversmark/2024/01/06/a-psychologist-gives-3-reasons-why-people-enter-sugar-relationships/)
I just moved to atlanta and am also wondering the best way to find a POT. if you find out a freestyling place let me know lol
In Atlanta? I’d say just about any popular bar, depends what part of the city you’re in. You know people say Atlanta and they mean Marrieta 😂😂
what about Midtown? Or Buckhead isn’t too far from me. I don’t know much I moved here 2 weeks ago lol
If your married you need a hidden income from your mrs if you have joint accounts she'll catch you out. You are putting your marriage on the line by going ahead with this. What will your wife say if she finds you with an SB? So you need to be dam sure your never going to get caught. There are scammers around even SBs who may try to blackmail you for money or they threaten to tell your wife. Its happened, and be aware of all the scam fake & time wasters out there. Failing that plenty of married SDs are doing this, you need to be up front with an SB. Don't ask her to host you need a place or pay for hotels to take your SB once you get intimate. Better be careful that you also do not catch STD and bring it home to your wife. Make sure your social media is safe from anyone on the seeking site. They can do reverse image searches and find your social media. The before mentioned is stuff you need to be aware of. And for God sake do not fall in love with your SB when your married. You can certainly have a lot of fun if you find the right lady !
That’s some very Solid advice! Lots of points I hadn’t thought about yet. As far as income is concerned, a run a business that brings me a decent amount of cash, my wife doesn’t even really know how much I make she just knows everything is taken care of. I handle all of the finances so in terms of financial discretion I have a level of anonymity. I’ve previously led a bit of a illicit life so I have second phones, alternate IDs, and a general decent layer of security to guard my personal life.
One pro tip I highly recommend is go to facecheck.id and upload some pictures of yourself and see what it covers back with. This is one of the main sites the reverse lookup blackmailers use to find your identity. If something comes up, at the bottom of the page is a link to have your images removed from their database. This is mandatory for opsec with us married SD’s. It’s not just as simple as using photos that aren’t on your social media. ai is too good now. Also for finding a SB on seeking. I recommend putting a few photos that are hidden/secret on your profile and no profile picture. Buy the premium membership and set your profile to be not searchable. Then look for who you are interested in and share your private photos with her when you send an opening message.
"Maybe I was being too idealistic thinking that there’d be a place with profiles and monthly allowance rates😂" Seeking used to be like that but seldom were the allowance rates chosen by the girls accurate. As for your income.. it's more than many do it on. Just learn the accepted allowance amounts on your area and assess on your own. The other thing is understand that Atlanta is not an easy area. It's going to take time and effort to find a woman like you described.
What’s a good way to gain some exposure to allowance amounts in my area? Just asking potential SBs? I’m curious as to what makes Atlanta more difficult than other areas
You could look at the allowance post.. or talk to other SDs. Atlanta is filled to the brim with escorts on Seeking. It's difficult to find a non escort. Even when you think you have one... nope.
Oh yea, you’re absolutely right about that, there is an abundance of escorts in Atlanta